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Gary, fix the Wi-Fi.
Manifest that shit.
We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me.
What's up, my gotcha gigglers? I'm saying it again. Because it's never not funny. It's never not funny. Someone was like, can you guys stop saying gotcha? We said it for one and a half episodes. Buckle the fuck up. Imagine living with me.
Literally imagine living with me. Let's start the pod off with Daphne and I in our first fight. What is going on? Who is in trouble? Who did what? You know what's so crazy is because like the past, like I've been with Daphne now for seven days. The past like six days, I've been like, Daphne, isn't this amazing? We're literally going to be together every single day for like the rest of our lives.
The tour is over. Like I'm literally just obsessed with her, you know, like... We're really vibing. This morning, she's like laying on the ground and I wake up and I'm like, come up here, you crazy kitty. Like get in the bed. You silly goose. Yeah, you silly goose. What are you doing down there? She gets in. We're like nuzzling. We're loving. She goes to the end of the bed. She turns around.
She's staring at me. And I'm like, what's going on? She's peeing on my bed whilst I'm in it. And I'm like, what's going on? What's going on? Why are you? I'm literally talking to her as if she's a human. I'm like, why are you doing this right now? What happened? Like, I think something's wrong there. Then she takes a massive shit.
the bed and i'm just like running around i'm like what is the procedure i've i've only ever walked into it after it's been done i've never been in the midst of it i have to strip my bed i have to bring everything to the dry cleaner put all the sheets in the wash i was like i am so sorry because this should not be happening this is not in the cat rule book i'm googling everything i'm like what's going on with her she's mad at you
I don't know if she's mad at me for something that I did because like the only thing is like digestive or like her litter box is dirty and like her litter box is literally never dirty. It's sparkling. She's been on the same food like for weeks. She's drinking Evian. I introduced her to wet food weeks ago. She was acclimated. She loves it. She's fine. I think she's just literally sometimes a bitch.
it doesn't make sense though the only time that this has happened to me with cats is my first cat Trixie yes she was named like a stripper um and we love sex work on this pod she um we love when I went to college she went to when I went to she went to college butters okay I'm so tired right now here's the craziest part I know I know exactly everything you just said
I literally know exactly.
I don't even have to finish the story.
You guys know what I was saying.
I go to college and Trixie just like shat in my room. And it's just like one poop just saying like, fuck you, bitch. Gotcha. This is what you do to me. That's how I feel. Gotcha. And then Butter, when I was shooting Summer House, it was the first time I would leave her for like three or four days, even though I have a cat sitter.
And she peed in my laundry like twice because it like smelled like me. And she was like, you.
Okay, well then I started spiraling because I was like, what would she be mad about? And I was like, I have been here for seven days and this is like the time when I would leave. And I'm like, does she like want to be alone?
She's too much like her mom. Or maybe she thinks you might leave. She's traumatized. I don't know what it is. Did she make eye contact with you during it?
She didn't make eye contact with me, but like... I was yelling and she was like looking around and was like, I'm like doing something.
They do say that cats don't understand like negative reinforcement. Like if they just don't get that. I don't I feel like you should get a vet to come over or you should get that guy Jackson Galaxy. Have you seen him? No. He has this show called Cats From Hell. It's so good. It's basically like, he's like the Gordon Ramsay of cats where people are like, my cat's crazy.
And it shows the cat like beating up a toddler. And then he comes in and he's like, if...
he like figures out what the cat's upset about and then fixes them then the cats are like perfect after wait it's my favorite show i need him to come over because that or like a pet psychic in my next life i want to be a pet psychic we need we need in this life we need a pet psychic we're gonna do it for sure i found some on facebook um i'm just sifting so they're reliable no those are the if you don't get it from facebook i don't trust it
I want people who don't know that TikTok exists. My favorite profession. Sorry. My favorite profession is cat psychic.
animal psychic because like you you made it up you're you could say anything to me there's no fact checking it's literally like someone woke up and was like my job is vibes like i'm literally vibes it's literally someone being like i'm empathic but just with animals which is that's what i think I hate when people say they're empathic. It's one of my biggest pet peeves.
I should start a list of pet peeves because whenever someone asks me, what's a pet peeve? I can never remember it. Knowing full well and good, I have so many. And that's a pet peeve. Honestly, a pet peeve of mine is not remembering my pet peeves.
Write it down. If we don't write anything down, nothing would be said.
Truly. But I know that when people say they're empaths, I hate them.
Well, not. No, I support pet psychics because I support women in the arts. And then also during COVID, a pet psychic over the phone told me that Butter is sarcastic and funny. And I was like, obviously. And then she told me she thinks Clyde is fat, the other cat, which I was like, okay, a little body shaming, which we don't love, but it's still funny. And she's ugly.
exactly and has a wide set vagina and a heavy flow and then she also said that Clyde's stomach was hurting and then two weeks later we had to bring him to the vet because of like a worm So either she put a spell on him or this shit is real.
No, I look, I support them. I'll give them all my money. If there's one thing I love, it's someone like being like, I have a talent and me being like, yeah, I could never, I don't even couldn't even start to think about what you do.
Do you know people talk about how like guys lose all their money in sports betting?
Yeah.
People don't talk enough.
Love that for them though. No, like I truly do. I love watching a guy like do really manly things that are so stupid that like a woman wouldn't even, it wouldn't even cross our fucking mind. Like, When I wake up on a Sunday, I'm like, what face mask am I picking? What could it be? And guys are like, how could I possibly put my family in danger?
How could I almost lose the house? For no good reason. Do you know why we love it?
For literally no good reason.
These men finally know what it's like to be disappointed by other men. No, it's amazing.
There's also something homoerotic about it because... You're literally getting gassed up to watch all these guys in super tight pants run around. And I'm not coming for you. I'm sitting right there, too. I'll watch it. I love it.
Also, the fact you think you know what's going to happen in the game is giving you think you're an empathic psychic.
It's giving animal psychic. It truly is.
All the men are animal psychics, but they talk shit on us. But I was saying that it's literally just reality TV. A man wearing a jersey of another man is like us wearing like road lip gloss.
And I love it. And I'll do it forever. It's the same thing. Not to bring up the girls fighting. Can we talk about the Matilda Jerf? Yeah. Like scandal. If you guys don't know who Matilda Jerf is, she like became really big on TikTok. She's Swedish. Yeah.
she's swedish which i thought swedish people didn't fight i didn't either and she created like an insane brand called jerf avenue it has everything worth a lot of money worth a lot of money it has like basics pajamas like they're one of their like robes or whatever went like viral on tiktok and she's famous for being like a sweet looking blonde with yes beautifully volumous hair that's always blown out she's been like in vogue like
like she's not like tell me that you model till you've been involved she's not like a small time creator whatsoever she's big and it came out the girls that were working in her office they did like a documentary like whilst working there and they did and they just said how like the conditions are horrible that she had like in the bathroom there was one like good toilet which i was like that's so european
There's one toilet that massages your butthole.
You guys are literally fighting about one toilet. That's crazy. That she would let her favorite employees use and then she would make the employees that she didn't like clean the toilet.
clean the toilet i didn't know she'd let other employees because the first people were like maybe she just has ocd um but if she let her favorite employees use it that's so weird like you think their buttholes are cleaner than what what i do have to say i i like i'm not trying to start drama yeah but i did meet her you did where when i interviewed hayley bieber at a dunkin donuts okay so i think she was there
Haley is so lucky that the campaign with her was literally like two days prior because I think it legit like sold out. But she's off the website now. The pictures aren't up anymore. And they did the cutest little collab. She did her hair like Cindy Lou who like it's I really I really do love like Haley's branding. It was so cute.
The only experience I have was like I actually said hi to her. She wasn't having it with me.
And she was like, you can use the fourth toilet. Thanks.
She was like, brush your fucking hair, you dirty American slut. No, she didn't say that to me. But I remember her. She was cold. But again, if that was a man...
Look, it's so crazy to me because like I've obviously like we've worked in offices. I've worked in offices of like all women. I've worked in offices where it's like mixed. I can like in an office setting, obviously you're going to have at least like one day where like you don't snap at someone, but like you're in a bad mood. You're under a lot of pressure.
And you say something in a tone that you're like, I shouldn't have said that or like I shouldn't have said that sentence.
You're not sucking everyone's dick. You're not like, is everyone okay all the time?
There could definitely be a moment where someone could be like, you're a villain in someone's story at some point in your life. And thank God. And thank God.
I feel like that's me, but I was just trying to make people laugh, but I offended someone.
Like, so I get like being in an office and it's like, oh, that girl's a bitch because like one time, blah, blah, blah. This is on such a different level to like literally think of things to do to people or not do is...
is so insane yeah and i don't want to simplify it being like if she was a man this wouldn't happen i think there's assholes on both ends and i would argue sometimes female bosses have like really mental terrorism that they will do yeah like like male bosses will just be like dicks misogynistic assholes and then female bosses can be like weird with specific people and stuff like that
I honestly, I'm so thankful and grateful. Like I had one female boss and she was the best thing that ever happened to my life. And I'm so thankful for it because it was in my early 20s and I think about it all the time now. Like when I am telling some people like what to do at any given moment, I literally always think of her and I'm like, she was so nice and understanding and just like,
whatever and now like i have to be like that imagine grace comes out with a tell-all tomorrow well i literally kept thinking about grace because i was like i was like we have one employee one employee who you know okay she literally was joking no we have like No, we have like three.
No, we have more. But like Grace is our CEO. Like she's my right hand man. And it's funny because she was once she did sit me down. She's like, I feel like I'm learning so much. This is so fun and like all this stuff. And I was like, well, I'm like grooming you. And then we pause. Not like that. Not like that.
cut to literally eight months later we're on tour and you're like grace will be carrying my children i don't know what that's non-negotiable we're talking about babies and i was like
Grace, is your ovaries available? And then she texted me, because I was like, I miss you, because Grace is back home now, because the tour is taking a pause. And she was like, I feel like I have Stockholm syndrome, because I'm not with you and Paige, and I miss you. No, but the thing is, we got so lucky, but it's because we have a small environment.
When you start getting a big office, it gets crazy. However, I understand...
jerf is the brand anything that goes wrong it's on you it's a lot of pressure i'm totally about being fucking serious hard working no bullshit yeah i do not understand the like weird toilet things and the freak outs on people it's unnecessary um a girl's all this stuff comes out of the woodwork now obviously but some girls did a what i did a modeling campaign with her
Well, that's the other thing. Then, like, people come out of the woodwork that, like, have even, like, an ounce to say. So then it, like, piles on. And, like, half of those could be true. Half of those could not be. But I just, like, I can't. Also, there's something about, like...
starting as no one becoming an influencer then having like a ton of fans then like it's almost like you even have more of a responsibility and not that I'm like oh my god you have to be nice every single day you literally don't like but you can't go out of your way to literally ruin people's lives that's crazy and it had to been really bad for them to all get together and be like hey like this is not okay
No, they're all risking everything. But I guess they're at the point where they're like, I'd rather be fired and expose her. Oof. Yeah, I'm just upset because now I feel like all the Swedish stereotypes I had in my head are wrong.
No, I know.
I watched an amazing documentary called Child Star on Hulu produced and done by Demi Lovato.
Okay, I saw the advertisement for that.
It's fucking incredible. Is it like Drew Barrymore is on it. Raven Simone's on it. The girl from the Missy Elliott videos on it.
Oh, yeah. From cheaper by the dozen.
Yes. So, and this kind of reminded me, Demi Lovato sits down with one of the child stars she was with and how like the first season of Camp Rock, like they had so much fun. And then Demi Lovato blew up and the next season she was like, she's staying at the Ritz or like somewhere fancy. And there was like this disconnect between her and her old friends.
And the girl basically was like, you, people were scared of you. Like you watched the moment of her being like, you traumatized me and like you were a monster.
And wait, that Demi Lovato traumatized people.
Yeah, but you later learned that Demi Lovato was bipolar. She had like 350 shows in a year, and she's a kid, so people are just like, you have to keep working, you have to keep working. And it was very interesting, but it's hard to be like these kid stars being like, I made millions of dollars and got famous as a kid, and it was really hard.
But someone like Raven Simone, who is a giggler, by the way, she's honestly one of the reasons I went into comedy. Like That's So Raven changed my life. Like her facial expressions, everything.
Wait, did you see like the the discourse on TikTok about that? I was just going to say the Today Show about That's So Raven. what raven simone said on a podcast like i think like young kids like young boys watch my show because i had big boobs and it's all these guys like stitching the video being like
i was like seven and like it was funny and like i liked the plot like can i not laugh now like wait raven it was not your boobs you're fucking hilarious the cast i'm sorry give it a fucking oscar that show it was so fucking funny that and all and amanda bines but like it was an age that like there was no sex you didn't think you didn't even have a thought in your brain of like but you know what
I do feel like subconsciously boys were like, I like this for many reasons.
Yeah. But like, I was trying to think like, did I look at the boys in that show? And was I like, Oh, I have a crush on them.
I feel like when I watched Drake and Josh, like you knew that Drake was hot.
You knew that. Yes. Okay. Yeah.
You knew that like, you knew he was hot, but you weren't like, I want to give him a hand job. You just were like, Oh, he's, I want to stand next to him. Let's go back to that. Let's truly go back to that. I'm not touching your dick.
No, you can be in my presence. Let's go back to like you trying to just hold my hand. Just try and hold my hand because anything else it's too much.
Wait, can I tell a traumatizing story? Trigger warning.
Yes.
My like first boyfriend in high school. This is such a New York story.
Wait, that just sounded literally you're Regina George. My first boyfriend in high school was named Kyle and like he moved away to Indiana.
His dad invented toaster strudel. No, but we were like in we couldn't go to anyone's house because it was like our parents house and like no one knew we were dating. So after school, we like went to like Sheep's Meadow Park and we were like kind of kissing. And I remember that I felt he I felt he had like a little like a boner and I was so embarrassed for him.
I was like, oh, my God, is he embarrassed right now? Like, that's so embarrassing.
and we're kissing and then we look over and a homeless man is jerking off and i was like i don't like this game anymore that's so traumatizing that was so new york city now i'm like trying to think did i ever notice like the what was the first time i noticed like a boner like did i know what it was you think that it's like they have something in their teeth and you're like do i tell them
like or like like they farted it's like that's what i thought it was like i didn't realize that that was the point of it all i thought it was just like a side thing i can't remember i feel like i've just like blocked out anyone like before a certain age i'm like you didn't like literally exist they fingered the side of your leg until we were like 26 and that was that's something else we have to work on in society
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Back to Raven. Shout out Raven. You're like literal number one fan right here if you're listening. But you're probably busy. She started working at 16 months old. And then she got on The Cosby Show and just did not stop working from then on. And she...
she was very clear that like it was a job it was always a job and during that so raven she was like i hated it like i didn't sign up for this i i just wanted a normal life like she didn't enjoy it and it's so crazy to something that brings us so much joy was causing so much pain for these people and then a lot of them would like just turn to drugs and stuff and and then long story short
there's control in Hollywood. Cause there used to be this, the first like famous kid ever back in the day, apparently his parents just like took all his money that he made. So he was like, he made millions of dollars. And then by 18, like there was nothing left. So there's a rule homicide would ensue. A hundred percent.
There's like a law now that like a certain percentage has to go into the child's trust. But you know what? That there isn't a law to organize. Everything is, is child influencers. So these kids are now doing the same thing. Like they get born, the parents are working and working and working and working. I'm traumatizing them, forcing them to work. And the kids aren't promised any money.
So it's like, they're just making a ton of money for their parents and, And let's be honest, we've done reality TV. We do performances. When you're in front of the camera, that's not real life.
Yeah.
Once a camera is on, you are performing. Maybe that's why Daphne shit in my bed.
She's like, I won't work. I won't work under these conditions. I won't have it.
She's like, I saw your ad two days ago. She's like, stop putting me in your fucking grid dumps, bitch. She goes, talk to my agent before you fucking take a photo.
I fantasize that Daphne like swears like a trucker in her head. Like this fucking bitch.
I think all cats do. They said someone says a cat's face always looks like you just asked them to pick you up from the airport.
oh god no we're so old i literally all we do is laugh about cat stuff and kanye west to be like a little more um oh my god someone said something funny yesterday i was at the hollywood improv and they were like you know the year's been crazy when kanye west hasn't speaking he's like i'll sit out on this one hasn't speaking I am in Hollywood. I was, Des and I really failed at vacationing.
No, can you explain this? Because like this is like part something that like we do as partners and like we don't think twice about it and the men get mad. Yeah.
So the reason why I think Des and I work so well is because he's lived this life before and now he's just tired. So everything I'm going through, he's been on that side and knows how it feels. So he's lifting me up and empowering me. But it sucks because Des and I were like, we want to travel at some point. And I know you're like, honey, you're always traveling.
But we're like, we've never been on. I've never been to Asia before.
so like two months ago we're like let's go to thailand two weeks industry's dead in december let's fucking go yeah long story short we cancel we're like we're not we're not going to thailand you cancel but you book a different trip you're like it's too big of a trip to do right now we can't do two weeks it's too crazy 24 hours of flying we're tired let's do a simple trip
yeah let's let's we were like let's go to cartagena let's go to colombia um medellin and oh yeah just a simple trip to colombia nothing well we were like let's do city culture and then we're like no so we can't we don't cancel we don't even book that and then we go let's fucking just go to the caribbean for four days
so we're so excited we're like we're gonna go to the crib for four days I get an email middle of the Caribbean trip I get invited to do a gig that like I personally didn't want to say no to yeah and Des was like I get it like we don't have to go on vacation you do this it's so important it's so important
so you guys will see what this gig is it's very fun um soon it comes out on the 27th and i feel like that's like low-key a mental health moment too i can't tell you how many boyfriends i've had in my life that like we've had something planned or like we're looking forward to something and like something work-wise comes up and i'm like i'm so sorry i have to do this and like
the words that are exchanged where like if the roles are were reversed and it was like some man and he was in finance and like some client called or something and he was like i have to go to this i feel like as a woman you're almost programmed to be like oh my god yeah like you have like you have to do this now obviously there's like workaholics but but it's like
such a fine line and it also does depend on your age like if you're in your early 30s like yeah you gotta fucking answer the phone and like you're so right and for people listening who are entrepreneurs you kind of get that like there's no schedule so it could be slow sometimes but then like on a sunday something crazy happens and you need to do it to make money
But I've also been, like, on a ski trip with Des once, and I got an offer for something that was, like, exciting but not great. And we had, like, a long talk to be, like, where are our priorities here? Like, you can do that, but, like, we're going to just try and do it. I mean, I fucking hated skiing, so I was trying to get out of it.
Kim Kardashian like did an interview. This is like months and months ago. It literally been a year ago. And I and I have not ever forgotten it or stop thinking about it. She was like talking about a boyfriend. I think it was Pete Davidson, but I don't know. And she was like and he told me like I work too much. And she was like in my head. I was like, get out of my way.
like get out and I'm like oh my god I so get like get out of my freaking way like I'm well also you'll have so much animosity towards him wait I have another like mental health moment okay go off so do you watched girls right
I think it's one of the greatest shows ever made.
It's one of the greatest shows of our generation. If you haven't watched Girls, do yourself a fucking favor. I actually like restart it every couple of years because it's just so iconic. So the one actress in it, her real name is Jemima Kirk.
She plays... She plays... She's actually my favorite character. I saw her in the airport once.
Jessa. Jessa! She plays Jessa. She's so cool. No, she's so good. I saw this on TikTok, but she was doing this on Instagram. She was doing just like a Q&A and a girl wrote in and was like, what is your advice for unconfident young women? Did you see this? Yes. Okay. And her answer was, you think about yourself too much. And I literally felt like my mind was blown. It's so good.
I was like, wait a minute. What a powerful, true statement. Like literally at the times that I'm like my most unconfident or my most nervous, it's because I'm literally so wrapped up in myself.
You've literally thought yourself into some like insane spiral that's given you every reason to question or not believe in yourself when it's like this is like one of my favorite quotes is like at the end of the day, the only thing that could really calm you down is that no one cares and you're going to die.
I love it so much. No one cares.
When I, I've gotten really anxious places and yeah, it's always cause you're like overthinking everything. And the really only way to calm you down is that it doesn't matter. And it's sad that like nothing matters at the end of the day. But if you can find solace in that, like for example, giggly squad, sometimes I'll get nervous and I'll be like, I want this to be the best fucking episode ever.
But if you force stuff and want it so bad cause you care too much, like you actually aren't yourself. Okay.
OK, it's so crazy because even though I had like crazy panic attacks all while we did tour and I was like really working through something. I'm so happy that it happened during tour. And this sounds like so weird because truly Giggly Squad every week is like the number one place where I feel my most self. And like, yeah, like just like Hannah and I literally got on Zoom today because.
you know and started laughing because we were like we miss each other but we can't call each other because then like we'll say all the good stuff that we have to say for the pod and also we're both like so respectful of each other like you're like i think i know you're like working and i'll like come up with something like you know she needs a second she's stressed but like we become full codependent on each other even though that's not it's not our personalities and here's what i know
When I'm going to run an errand or I'm getting in an Uber or something, that's when I do my calls. But I'm always just calling my mom, really. Yes, same. And for whatever reason today, I was running errands and I was like, should I call Hannah?
No, wait, you can call me anytime. I was like... i was like no she's busy she's doing things i feel like me and you are actually two people who like we do have intimacy issues you think like and people and i hate when they make it like girls are like we're boy crazy and all this stuff but like i'm gonna be honest me and you like we are so the men
sometimes stereotypically but yeah i would go after guys who had intimacy issues because i didn't want to connect with a man like i wanted to protect myself you know sometimes when it comes to dating and i would literally i've never admitted this to anyone or publicly or to anyone in my life but i will say it on the pod because no one listens because no in my head no one listens i'm like no in my head four girls who know everything about us listen
well here's the thing i when i say things on the podcast it's for the gigglers that listen every week like those are my friends like those are my girls for the people that like pop in to like write an article or like make a tiktok video i'm not saying anything for you guys like it's not like whatever so i feel like you just came into the middle of a conversation we've been having for five years obviously you don't get it like hello
But we love the new Gigglers. We love the new Gigglers. You're all welcome. Anyway, what were you going to say that you said you never told anyone and then you veered off? Is this the audition for Pippin?
No, what I've never said to anyone. Hannah and I, before every Giggly Squad show, before we walk out on stage, we'll say to each other, is this the audition for Pippin? Okay.
when it comes to dating sometimes i will move in a manner subconsciously or consciously it depends where like i'll stop and think and be like that was such a move that i'm a guy would pull or like sometimes like i'll do things and i'll be like i'm the guy like that's so heinous i can't believe i said that or like i did that or like i'm thinking that like i'm the guy and it's
It's kind of scary sometimes I have to like catch myself and be like, don't do that.
No, but the concept of like that's what guys would do is like socially constructed. Like that's just what we've been like raised to think where we just are trying to like have some power.
Well, then I think like if certain guys don't like me, I'm like, oh, you don't like that I move the way men move.
It scares them.
It scares you that I can also like switch into this mode of like, I don't give a fuck.
I always love, like, I don't talk too much about, like, Des and I, but I do love the moment in our relationship where, like, I was pretending I was, like, cool and didn't care. And I think I might have posted something that was, like, a little bit, like...
could potentially make him jealous or something like very early on yeah and that was when he literally i remember he called me and he was like hey if you're not like if you're gonna do this kind of stuff like i'm actually like i'm not attracted to that stuff and like i don't want to play games like that so that's great
Yeah, and he was like, I like you, I feel like I made that clear, so if you're gonna be weird like this, I'm good. I literally put my tail between my legs and was like, that was the first, I was like, oh my God. And it was so mature of him and hot, but anyway.
No, well, I'd do something and then a guy would try to up me and make me feel worse, and then I would, and next thing you know, it's just two egos battling each other and it's a competitive fucking stupid situation. But I do have to say, rounding to what you were saying in the beginning, your 30s, it stops being about like being the most successful or finding the best guy.
It's about finding like your authenticity, which is full of, yeah, you question yourself. Yeah, whatever. But at least you're being you. And I'd rather like be sad authentically being me than like pretending to be something else.
No, I... Love being me. I think I'm the greatest. Speaking of me. Back to me for a second. Back to me. Enough about me.
What do you think about me? What about me? I didn't tell you about what happened during Thanksgiving. I talked about it on Burner Phone. Shout out Burner Phone. You guys should listen. Thanksgiving morning.
Mm hmm.
we're finally having all these people at our house and i i'm of course asleep it's like 7 30 and you know how all the adults are awake yeah like they're all like chatting loud laughing and i kind of hear it they're like four cups of coffee deep yes they're fucking they're talking about like recent events in the news and stuff it's not my scene it's not my scene it's literally a table not my scene i don't want to see yeah i don't want to seat at that table
doesn't come across my desk so i'm chilling because i can sleep through anything but i hear the good vibes i'm so happy everyone's talking and then i hear like a weird murmur and everything goes silent and like you know when you just have like that spidey sense where you're like something bad happened
so it's like silent for like 30 minutes and i check my phone no one texted me and then i like hear someone say something and i'm like did someone die like did someone have a heart attack like i start freaking out but then like no one's telling me anything so i'm just like i'm just gonna stay here you know when you're like i don't want to ruin my day i'm gonna stay here until you're like if i don't know nothing happened yet yeah yeah i'm just staying in bed finally someone opens the door and they're like
And it was Des and he's like, hey, just want you to know the water tank burst and it's been flooding downstairs and we've all been wiping, like putting towels down. Just letting you know. Walks out. I go, no one thought to wake me up. No one was like, you know what would make the situation better if Hannah was awake?
No one even told me. Because what were you offering to that?
No, literally they thought about it and they were like, it would be better if we kept her out of this. If Hannah didn't know. I started Googling like water tank burst. I'm like, this is really bad. And my mom's like, we're handling it. Everything's being handled. Does it on the phone with the plumber. And I never felt more insignificant, but understood.
Hannah, it's so funny you say that because. It's interesting to think that like your other family, like you obviously like you call a family member to talk about another family member, but you don't think that like other family members are calling to talk about you. Like you're almost like shocked
I do feel like there's a lot of roasting, though, in my family. And, like, I'm known as kind of the one, oh, Hannah, she's, you know, type B. She forgot her wallet again. She spilled everything.
Like, oh, that's Hannah. Yeah.
But also I have, like, crazy productive people in my family. Like, my mom could run the country if she, like, put her mind to it. So it's kind of like, let's cut our losses. Yeah.
My brother the other day said something to me and I was like, I forget what it even was. And I was like, you didn't tell me that. Like, why didn't anyone tell me that? Like, when did this happen? And he was like, oh, well, we're not allowed to tell you certain things when you're really stressed out. And I was like, what the fuck does that mean?
And he was like, mom tells everyone not to like annoy you with anything because like you're fragile. And like during your tour, you were really, and he kept saying the word fragile. And I was like, I'm not fucking fragile.
it is funny to think about yeah like every now and then i'll hear people who like work with giggly squad be like oh before we tell hannah and paige let's make sure we tell them this way and i'm like we're dumb like what there's no we're not matilda jerf just tell us what's going on we're not gonna kick you like no i'm literally i'm not here's the crazy thing i'm not gonna do anything whether you need me to do something or not i'm not doing anything so like
i don't care people call us and we're like please text or send a voice note like i'm not trying to get into it with anyone at any time no people need to realize truly at the end of the day giggly squad is built on not giving a shit yeah i do think we should start giving a shit about um the drones they're filming a new season of new jersey housewives
that's what the drones are it's just andy cohen being like we need a step up production this is why tiktok can't get banned everyone on tiktok just being like are we the most unserious country in the fucking world like we're just like yeah there's like something happening literally 10 feet away from me and we're like we don't know well like we have things to do though someone was like i love how after luigi mangione um they're like we're gonna need drones in new jersey all the italians are up to no good
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Wait, can you please write, you wrote the single-handedly funniest note in our notes.
What? I look like the shooter? Yeah. I kept getting, here, first of all, let me just like, let's just talk about this like in full. yeah the day that like they came out that like what his name was i feel like every italian collectively was like fuck like it's not great for us like it's not great for our brand we're not like we didn't we don't need this right now
People are like immediately being like, it's the mafia. We're like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Well, look, Italians are good at two things. They're good at food and murder people in public spaces.
We're like, this was just a disgruntled guy. Like, we're not like, let's calm down for a second. Here's the other thing. I saw a comedian say this. I think it was Shane Gillis, actually, who said it like years ago that like Italians are like really the only minority that like you can make fun of still.
and like it kind of is so true like the next day it was like every meme was just like about italians but i kind of love that we're just like yeah we don't give a fuck like i don't you could say whatever you fucking wanted to me i don't care like it doesn't matter i was getting tagged they did luigi with like long brown hair and i was getting tagged in it so much being like why is this page to sorbo and i was like i love it i think it's amazing i love it so much but like
It was just it's a crazy day. It's a crazy week for Italians in Jersey.
It is crazy that people are the government. I mean, everyone is so pro Luigi because he has a six pack. Like if he was ugly, people would be like, hang on. No, it's crazy. People are like he's he's Peter Pan. But I do have to say the United Health Care guy, he is a drug dealer.
well that's that's what happened that could happen in the fight when you're making millions and millions and millions and millions of dollars from giving people health or not yeah obviously like this guy was like a husband and a father and like you don't want anyone to be like murdered yes but also like think about how much insurance companies just fuck people over and like they're in like the biggest time of need it's just i do have to save
Vigilantism is not the answer. Let's not just start shooting people. But I do feel like the girls love that Luigi took the time to engrave the bullets.
It's aesthetics.
I feel like it also makes you look at your boyfriend being like, what have you done for me now? What have you done for me lately? You can't even write a card. And he literally engraved every single bullet he shot into that guy's back.
It's like, write me one note. Write me like a thoughtful text.
Write me one post. Leave one post it before you leave for work.
no it's crazy but yeah the luigi stuff as an italian is very funny but yeah i think the guy had a he had a mental break i don't think it was like a sane thing i mean the guy was like super smart i also loved all the memes just being like his mom didn't know where he was for a month yeah okay there's no fucking way there's no fucking way his mom didn't know where he was a
fucking kidding me that's crazy chaperone was like his number one search or like his favorite artist i love it wait okay i have i have another topic to bring up that i was talking about with um one of my girlfriends and we were talking about how men how like so many men get like the hair transplant and like the hair like plugs or like flying a turkey they're like doing whatever yeah
And she was saying she was like, I believe she was like, I believe that if you are in a certain tax bracket and you make a certain amount of money a year, you should not be allowed to be bald. And I was like, elaborate. And she was like, as women were on TikTok all day being like, I got bald. my lips done. I got my eyes done. Like I did.
This is what I did step by step because we have to, because if we don't continue to look good, like we get disregarded in society. And she was like, if you are a man and you make a certain amount of money, like you should have to get a hair transplant and not be bald.
It's funny. Some girls love a bald man.
But do they or are we programmed? Is it the same thing as a dad bod? Is it just the same thing? Because I know that if I walked out being bald, I would have a very different climate.
Yes, yes.
And also normalize them giving us updates. Day 27, like give me a 50 part series of your hair transplant. We can watch them for BBL.
Do you know who actually does that? Benedict Polizzi, who I love. He's a comedian from Indiana.
He got a hair transplant.
He got a hair transplant and he like takes photos of it and he just makes fun of it.
I love it. A man of the people. And you know what? Italian. So maybe we're look. We love it. They just get it. They just freaking get it.
What if Luigi posted in his manifesto? Nobody left me a lasagna.
I'd be nervous because people would think that we were connected. We'd be like, of course. And he's a giggler.
Also, did they AI an Italian last name? That's insane. That's the most Italian name I ever heard. It's just not a good week for our people. If he was really, really Italian, though, he would not go to McDonald's.
No, that's what I'm saying. If he was really, really Italian, his mom wouldn't have reported him missing. She would have found him. There's just no way. You're not going missing.
There's literally never been a missing child. Also, if you were working at that McDonald's and saw him, would you report it?
I don't think here's the thing when people when like something happens and there's like a manhunt and it's like pictures of him posted everywhere in the street in the city. I'm again thinking about myself. There's no fucking way I'm walking into like a Starbucks and being like, that's a guy. That's a guy. I'm not even looking.
I'm going to say something fucked up.
no one's ever gotten an amber alert and been like oh good let me help this out you're like i'm in the middle of a text and you just interrupted my text everyone has the same reaction did you see the amber alert that's crazy like yeah that's like also no one's ever gone an amber alert and like ran outside to find the missing child also has anyone ever found the missing child they never give you the update they just never give you that they're gone and then nothing else they never give you the update and usually it's the dad and most of the time it's the freaking dad
And actually period. It's always, everything goes back to your dad.
Here's the thing. Wait, let me just say one thing. Yes, yes, yes. For how much we like despise men, like majority of the time and like their actions and just like overall characteristics. We do have to say that like we grew up with the best dads ever. So like I want to love men. I actually was born and programmed to love men. I do like them. But like they're just so stupid most of the time.
yeah i like a self-aware man like i like the men that like are calling out their friends but also leaning in i like quiet ones i like them quiet i like them i feel like when they're quiet they know things like because they're listening like what is that like to listen i'd be so smart if i didn't talk so much if i retained any information from other people instead i'm just walking around like no that's literally you walk around like that
so you know i was talking to these other male comics they were talking about like they're making jokes about like how women talk a lot which is so funny we don't know what like the male comics are joking about yeah but they're like girl jokes i'm like girls talk a lot joe rogan has a four hour podcast every fucking day girls talk a lot we need to take a nap after 45 minutes like we're about to take a three hour nap from yapping truly truly
Truly, truly, truly.
Joe is literally over there five hours a day.
Can I say something I'm mad at with fashion?
Oh, yeah.
Slingback heels.
Why?
They don't fit my foot.
They don't stay on. They don't stay.
They don't stay on. Like if what is the thing in the back for? Because the slingback just goes, it falls off.
And then I'm like, it has to be a good shoe. It has to be an expensive shoe.
I'll buy like a $200 slingback and it's not slinging.
Really? It's not slinging.
I think it needs stretch. It needs to have like stretch. It can't.
I don't think you're putting it high enough up on your ankle. Are you putting it high enough up?
I went to college. I don't think it should be that difficult for me to figure out how to wear a shoe. If I have to maneuver it that much.
Are your feet a little sweaty? It could just be.
Yes, they're always sweaty. I do think also maybe there's not enough curvature in the back of my foot that it doesn't stay.
I fear you've been ill-advised on slingbacks.
Wait, so you're standing with slingbacks right now?
I stand with slingbacks. I do stand with them. I think that I like them. for a certain outfit but I understand the frustration when they don't stay up I think they look good but like you I can't even walk on stage with them I don't think it's something that like we're gonna solve I think that you just stay away from them I feel like you don't care about me right now
i do care about you but like it's just like i feel like i'm struggling with something and you're like not you're not clearly struggling no you're taking the side of my op here's what i'm gonna you're taking the sides of my enemies there are certain things that i feel like as a female like you just do kind of live with because it's like oh it's just like a girl thing that we have to deal with
i'm more like i just deal with it yeah you're more like i'll fight every man who invented this yeah like yeah so like we're just different in that sense wait i feel so bad because i forget who said it but there's a girl on tiktok you guys should search it who was like wait so we have wireless drones but we don't have a wireless hair dryer
she was like we don't have wireless dysons even though we have wireless dyson vacuums yep what the either they don't care about what they don't care or they want us to strangle ourselves with a cord sorry there's so many sirens that was the police telling us we need to stop calling people out on the pod speaking speaking it's just the patriarchy
and matilda jerfs people sweden's arrived you'd be surprised how many things like bosses will make their like office manager or their assistant do no it and also but this is the thing bosses will i think get away with it a lot because the person says yes so they think the person's cool with it but like you're not gonna say no to your boss like i've done weird shit for bosses
unless it's in my contract get the fuck out of my face like what do you have like an example of something that you're like that like after where you're like that was weird i've definitely i definitely saw like this one boss made um this girl walk her dog every day and then also made her make her breakfast every day like avocado toast and stuff it just seemed like unnecessary you
You know what's so crazy at me as a boss? Because I think I'm a people pleaser. I feel like I work for them. I am constantly apologizing to Josephine and Grace and being like, I'm so sorry that I can't get my shit together to give you what you need so that you can send it off to whoever you need to work with.
Whenever I text Grace, I always go, I'm so sorry for bothering you, but... Same.
And then I'll be like, wait, I'm like...
a 32 year old woman and like i pay them and i'm like scared of them but i kind of love it too because like if she comes over to my apartment or something and i'm ordering starbucks like yeah hello like it's just normal like human decency it's also like low-key fun to be a boss because you're like we can do whatever we want today no there are so many times where i'm like should we just do like couch and like and blankets like go get your blanket like
sometimes i feel like i pressure her like i'm like we're getting bagels and she's like i'm okay and i'm like you don't want to everything bagel with scallion cream cheese and all this stuff and she's like i'm fine i'm like let's fucking party with bagels right now the other day i said to josephine i said would it be crazy if i got us a personal trainer and we worked out three times a week together because like i won't do it if someone else doesn't do it with me that's where hr gets involved she was like yeah i mean like i'll do it with you but like
I made Grace do hip hop yoga and like she liked it. But I also I like was afraid to text her again to feel like she was like being forced to sweat and possibly faint in a hot hip hop yoga.
Whatever. We're fun bosses. We're fine. We're cool. We're cool moms. We're cool. We're like, do whatever you freaking want.
I know. We're like, if you want to smoke a little weed, just don't.
I'm truly like that. I'm like, let's get high and figure this out.
Speaking of bread, one more time. I ordered room service. I'm in L.A. Yeah. And I was, like... I clicked, like, continental breakfast or whatever. And it didn't say anything about bread. So I wrote in the notes, can I please have sourdough bread? Then they start calling me. Because I, like, did it online. This is so unnecessary. And they're, like, hi, it's extra for sourdough bread.
I'm, like, yes, just send me... Why is the... When is the bread not included with an egg breakfast? So then I'm fucking pissed. The bread comes, it's the smallest bread I've ever seen. Like is bread, are they having a bread shortage? Like what?
It's sourdough, it's healthy. There's something with hotels like adding, like things that are like add-ons that it's like, okay, well that goes with it. And also if you're a five-star hotel and you're not doing room service and you're still going through like COVID rules or something or like- If you don't have room service as a hotel, what are you? You're an office space, okay?
You're WeWork. You're a literal WeWork. You're WeWork with pillows.
Get your shit together. Bring back room service with silverware. If you are at my door and you're handing it to me in a brown paper bag, I'm thinking the worst things in my head.
Don't get me started about forks.
Anyway. Okay, we won't. And we won't. And we absolutely will not. That's all the time we have for today. Stay posted for next week for my fork speech. The fork discussion continued.
On NPR. I do have to say I have a couple stand-up dates I'd love you guys to come to. I'm going to Timonium, Maryland. I've never heard of that place, but I think it'll be fun. Actually, I think I've been there. Sounds like a blast.
yeah i'm going to sounds like a healthcare company um irvine alabama new haven connecticut providence rhode island brooks california highland california see you there um page what's going on with you nothing i'm going to this i'm going to sleep till january like eighth yes amazing oh actually i'm gonna be on the today show on wednesday morning we're doing winter accessories we're very excited
I love that I was uninvited.
They're like, hey, we got a call actually just for Paige to come on with Hoda and Jenna. They said leave the redhead at home.
Leave the girl who came in with fake glasses and laughed too loud. No, you're doing your fashion segment, which is really, really fun. And you do a lot of research for it and you put a lot of work into it. I actually do do a lot of research for it. You do? Yeah. Everyone go get your mom's cable password and watch Paige on the Today Show. We love you guys so much. Thank you for giggling with us.
I hope you're all slowing down for the holidays.