This episode of Distractible pleads the fifth. Any further information will require the presence of a lawyer. Or just get Bob or Wade, that should be good enough. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: What is the premise of 'Illegal Advice Too'?
Good evening, gentle listeners and watchers, and welcome to Destructible, this episode. Mosquito-maskering Mark gets ponderous party performance and asks the gents for remedies to rage. Bouncing Bob nearly loses James, suggests a stitch-up.
miasmas, creed cripplings and cloning wise guy Wade gets vandalized by Serviday advises stuffing tailpipes Jason, Hammer Time and Steve Rogers from lint free nostrils to kissy beads yes it's time for illegal advice 2 now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show What is up, people?
No, don't start it that way. Nope, that's it. We're in. And welcome to Distractible. I'm your host, Markiplier here. Back at it again with another hosting of an incredible episode that you're going to love in every way possible. We don't believe in cold opens here. This is the beginning and no one can say otherwise, right? And how. And how do we do this episode?
Well, the same way we do every episode. I'm the judge. I am soliciting these two gentlemen here to my whims. They can accept or not. I guess it's always optional. It's all you, man. The doors lock every time we start an episode. When the recording starts, doors can't open. There's no evidence of me ever leaving.
Is my camera in like two frames per second or am I losing my fucking mind?
You're fine. All right. I'm going to do this for a while. Editors make multiple clones of him and overlay it so he's moving like a centipede. All right. So in this game today, we're going to have a great time. We're going to have a great time. Points to the person who has the best time. Oh, you already figured out your wheel spin?
I think that's me. I'm having the best time, Mark.
That could mean multiple things. I will have that added to the wheel. Best time. Either you're having a great time or you did the episode in record time. You won with the least amount of moves. Ooh. That's pretty fun. That is interesting. I like that. Is that the Grandmaster win? Yeah, something like that.
But before we do that we got to hear about our lives I can as much as I want to kick it off with my life and the amazing things going on here I guess I have to defer to these two gentlemen here whose lives are equally as interesting chock-full of adventure And I can't wait to hear about it
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Chapter 2: Who is hosting this episode and how does it start?
Oh, Ethan wasn't even offensive, but Tyler in France was a whole special kind of fun.
I felt pretty offended by Ethan's Berg.
Nah, he's harmless. He's just a funny guy. I even think they didn't understand that they were being made fun of. Well, that's because it was so bad. He's like, that can't be our accent.
I don't know what he's saying. That must be some weird American bit. Nah, they don't know they're in Europe yet.
I just love that we started off like pre-show. We're like, all right, we're not going to do any funny accents. We're just going to do our show normally. And the first thing Ethan did was the berg.
Well, that's because with Ethan, and you boys know this, is whenever you're talking to him, in his head is his joke he's got ready. He's practicing it. He's just berg, berg, berg, berg. In his head on loop as we're talking. No accent. Yeah, accent. You remember how he would always, like, he would say something to it, and he would say it again under his breath?
He turned into, like, a Beavis and Butthead character. Exit.
Yeah. I miss the show, man. Anyway, some things deserve to die is where I ended that, didn't I? Yeah, some things deserve to die. No more information needed. Listen, I think we can all agree mosquitoes, they deserve to die.
Do they do anything good in the ecosystem? Nothing.
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Chapter 3: What playground adventures did Bob experience with his son?
They make a portable fog machine that I've used before on set and like for film shoots and stuff. If you stuck that in your pants and suddenly you started emitting a fog, I think people would run away in the same way.
You just burst a bunch of stink bombs inside of it. Then you turn on the fog.
You fill it with stink juice instead of fart juice. That would be horrible. Well, you got to make yourself immune to it. So you got to endure it for like many months of just stink juice up your nose.
The Rocky montage of fart juice.
Yeah, no, it's like, it's like the princess. What's that? The princess bride. You slowly build up your resistance to Iocane powder, but it's not Iocane. It's stink juice.
Or a little bit in your drink every day.
This is a complete aside and not related to what we're talking about, but can I just put this out there?
Is there a greater joy in life than coming across a video on the internet of a person in one of those inflatable suits where there's a fan constantly sucking air into the suit to keep it, like, inflated and puffy, and someone comes up behind them with a little bottle of fart spray and just hits them with the old... And then the person in the suit is just like...
Is there anything funnier than that? Like I know that there is, but when I, cause those always come out of nowhere, you'll be online. And then it's like, there's just a video of a guy in a Barney suit or something. And then that's the fart spray happens. And you're just like, Oh, I needed that.
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