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Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Club Grub Hub

1099.169

Oh, no.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Club Grub Hub

13.471

Hi, Alejandra. Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan. Hi.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Club Grub Hub

1445.558

Conan O'Brien needs a fan. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising Producer, Aaron Blair. Associate Talent Producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate Producers, Sean Doherty and Lisa Byrne. Engineering by Eduardo Perez.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Club Grub Hub

1472.44

Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Club Grub Hub

280.457

I think if we just use just kind of foggier voices like that. Yeah. Now you just sound.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Club Grub Hub

540.586

9, yeah, starting at 9. I'm asleep by then. No, no, I'm serious.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Club Grub Hub

601.653

Yeah, what time do you go to bed? And are you going to bed just in full digestion mode where...

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Club Grub Hub

676.972

In the best times of our lives.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Club Grub Hub

827.504

Are you talking about golf clubs?

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Club Grub Hub

884.364

You know what? I love that. I'm back, baby.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Club Grub Hub

889.566

Young and hip again. Your children are nowhere to be found, but you're back.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Club Grub Hub

935.586

Club Grubhub.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

112.219

I don't know.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

1168.963

Yeah.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

126.332

The guy, the little guy, the paper boy comes back at night just for your house?

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

1290.843

Yes, I ate garlic. Lots of garlic, lots of lemon. But I did eventually get it.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

1295.526

So even garlic can't outrun COVID.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

1299.868

Not even the root. I know. But you know, Gorley, who's not here, has never had it yet.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

1304.97

Yeah, he's never had it.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

1308.253

He could be. He could be. And Eduardo never had it up until like a month ago. Oh, wow. Yeah. I know. Isn't that crazy?

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

1791.415

Wait, you guys are living in the houseboat? I don't understand why you're- Yes, that's the whole point.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

199.114

I want that ornament.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

236.983

you show them little ornament.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

2403.368

What's that? Don't go anywhere.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

2405.75

Yeah, I like this job.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

245.713

When I go to your house, I'm just going to break it.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

274.489

I have a little bit of an opinion.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

2822.361

We went to the genocide memorial.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

2831.227

We'll get some good comedy here. I'm not a monster.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

2847.584

Oh, it was heavy. It was really heavy. I mean, I'd never been to Armenia. I am Armenian. I felt a lot of what Conan was saying about how you get there. I was crying the entire time I was there, I feel like. But then I saw my dad's village engraved in the wall of all the villages that were affected by the genocide. And it's like I instantly just felt some kind of connection to my grandparents there.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

2870.933

I'm feeling emotional talking about it now. It was amazing. It was one of probably the most heart-wrenching moments of my life.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

2881.655

I was not expecting to feel that overwhelmed about it. I don't know. I mean, I think that something just got very triggered in me. And you suddenly feel very connected to your past.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

2893.038

Yeah. It puts everything into a very different perspective.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

2904.385

We're lucky.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3057.481

No.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3067.744

I really do.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3072.649

You need some humility.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

310.795

A what?

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3227.291

I need to talk about what happened to me on Saturday. Because I hosted all day, and it was so much fun. I hosted the Pasadena Armenian Festival.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3236.973

Oh, God.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3246.578

Oh, then you?

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3256.664

I had posted it up on Instagram that I was going to be at this thing to just kind of help promote it. And I had a few of our fans who aren't even Armenian come to the festival to come meet me. Oh, that's cool. Which was honestly really cool.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3282.459

Oh, okay.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3284.861

Okay.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3286.722

Sure, yeah. Okay, yes, you're right.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3292.645

Yeah, I brought us together. So can I can I give a shout out to a couple of people who came?

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3299.828

Daniel came with his girlfriend, Michelle. Daniel's a fan. Michelle doesn't listen. So we could just forget Michelle.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3313.78

And then Marianne and Dean came. So they came all the way from, I think, the Midwest. They drove all the way out here.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3323.028

Not for me specifically. They came for something else. But then I was like, a stop. So I'm just going to tell myself it was for me.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3333.094

But they they did. Let's just say they did. But they also Dean and Marianne. I met them. They're lovely people. Dean, I find out, writes fan fiction about you. He writes it about a lot of things, but he also writes a lot of Conan O'Brien specific fan fiction.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3365.372

It's explicit. It's erotic fan fiction. It's erotic fan fiction.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3371.617

Oh, it really surprised me.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3385.423

It's funny you say that because I was like, really, Conan? And I'm like, he's just, you know, he's very, he's like, I was like, you know, I was talking to Dean and Marianne and I said, he's just a very kind of repressed, got this repressed Catholic energy. And he said a lot of the fan fiction that he writes comes from you like coming out of your Repression.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3407.088

Breaking out of your repression.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3432.882

Come on.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3434.324

No.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3450.022

I mean, I looked at just the descriptions. I said, pass. I can't do it.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3485.757

You know, so you never read... I love fan fiction.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3490.601

Oh, no, I think he, like, left his info, and then they had, like, a dalliance after it.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3524.041

No, he's got his, the website is, can I just say the website so people can go read it?

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3530.943

The website is called archiveofourown.org and he's drhpaints and he's got a lot of Conan specific fan fiction.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3540.425

And it's erotica. It's a lot of erotica and it's very explicit because that's the fun part about fan fiction.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3579.301

This is fun stuff. And I think it's very flattering. I mean, like, you know, there was an entire movie series, the after movie series, that was based on fan fiction written about Harry Styles.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3592.707

I'm just saying. I'm like, I just think it's very flattering when people choose you as like a main character in any sort of literary kind of take they have on anything.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3696.826

I can't. I can't. I can't read it.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3699.607

This is terrible. And I can't hear it.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3722.924

Yeah. Oh, my God.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3724.945

No, Matt, if you keep reading it, I'm going to burn this entire building down to the ground.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3731.931

Oh, my God.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3737.815

What does that mean?

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3757.81

Okay, can we stop?

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3785.643

I'm going to fucking punch your face.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3795.766

Okay.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3797.947

It needs to stop now.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

380.18

Oh, my God.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3823.424

I need to leave. I quit. I have to quit right now. First of all, you brought this up. I'm done.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3830.508

I know. He was really nice, and his girlfriend was really nice. And I thought, hey, this is fun.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3840.451

Okay.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3850.734

It's the Pasadena Armenian Festival.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

3853.615

It was a lovely day.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

400.471

Uh, Grubhub.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

489.226

You put that up and then you put it up again.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

531.384

Shit, you deserve. Shit bow like 40 times.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

615.724

Oh, okay.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

616.944

I thought you were going to say you did it, but you called it like you knew it was going to happen.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

630.332

Yeah.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

71.082

Yeah. I mean, you have.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Jesse Eisenberg Returns

74.363

No, no. We celebrate American Christmas, too. But we you know, we have a fake tree, which you guys got mad at me for when we were doing summer s'mores. Yeah. And then we like put a few things out. But we're not like the house people stop at when they're driving down the block and be like, oh, my God, look at this.