Sona Movsesian
Appearances
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Rascally Nincompoop
Supervising Producer, Aaron Blair. Associate Talent Producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate Producers, Sean Doherty and Lisa Byrne. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are done.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Rascally Nincompoop
But it doesn't bother you that your picture is associated with people just going pee-pee and poo-poo? No, no, those are beautiful.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Power Point Night
No, you're not. No, you're not, Cooper. You can't lie about the Civil War.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Power Point Night
You can meet someone at a Civil War reenactment. You've done a Civil War reenactment.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Club Grub Hub
Conan O'Brien needs a fan. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising Producer, Aaron Blair. Associate Talent Producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate Producers, Sean Doherty and Lisa Byrne. Engineering by Eduardo Perez.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Club Grub Hub
Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Club Grub Hub
I think if we just use just kind of foggier voices like that. Yeah. Now you just sound.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Club Grub Hub
9, yeah, starting at 9. I'm asleep by then. No, no, I'm serious.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Club Grub Hub
Yeah, what time do you go to bed? And are you going to bed just in full digestion mode where...
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Club Grub Hub
Young and hip again. Your children are nowhere to be found, but you're back.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Fanhausen (Re-Release)
Yeah, I think that you would be arrested if a lot of the things that you said were relieved. What are you talking about?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Fanhausen (Re-Release)
Well, she's asking if you ever turn your mental illness off, but it's actually much more amplified a lot of times.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Fanhausen (Re-Release)
Sorry, I know. I'm just using what Leanne said. Yes, your gift.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Fanhausen (Re-Release)
Oh, God. What? Why is that your first impression?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Fanhausen (Re-Release)
I'm not trapped in a celebrity bubble. No, I'm not even adjacent to it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
What did he just say? What did he just say earlier? Shut the fuck up.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
I do think, you know... I know, maybe that was, you know... Okay, sorry, go ahead.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
I think you know, okay, la, la, la, la, la, we have to like talk when the microphones are on. But sometimes I just want to catch up with you guys because I'm actually your friend.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
We're friends. And sometimes it's okay to just catch up.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
I love you, Adam. And can I say something to bounce off of what Adam just said?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
I'm saying you're not someone who's like making like, hey guys, let's wheeling and dealing decisions. I'm doing it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
You've been doing this for so long that I'm surprised you don't know how to talk into a microphone properly.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
Off of what Adam just said, how often during when we were taping the show did you hold up rehearsal because you were noodling on your guitar so much? And isn't that kind of the same thing? We both have a process.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
Are you comparing yourself to Prince? Yes. It's the same thing. You do podcasting.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
I'm just saying you wouldn't know what's wrong because you don't.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
Just admit it. Just admit you bring soups from the old country.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
You were the first one to spill all over this, and it was like a full glass of water.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
You know what's funny is I'm thinking of khash, which would come with like a hoof. Yeah.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
I'm trying to share with you. That's all I'm trying to do.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
Look, it's just because I like you. You don't like it when I have a good time sometimes.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
This is a bigger conversation about how you, the work environment you've created. Yeah. And how we can't comfortably speak. So I'm glad you brought this up.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
This is kind of like us having Miller time. You know what?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Nicholas Hoult
I have a process. Can I say something, though? I think you always forget, out of the three of us, I'm the least... Professional.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
It's not stupid. It means a lot when you check in and just everybody texting. I haven't been able to even respond. There's people who've texted that I haven't even talked to in years. It feels really good at a time like this to feel like people are thinking about you. Yeah. So it's nice.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
I need lots. Can I live in your house? Can we all come live in your house?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
I need this. I know. I'm like, am I?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
Oh, I am really glad your house is because the Palisades is also very, very scary.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
And I really was worried you were going to lose it. And I know you're not attached to the things in your like you're saying. I'm very attached to the things. Yeah. And I think also if you lost yours, it would overshadow mine a lot. So in a way, I'm like just really happy that you're okay.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
I do. I do. I know we talked about Altadena a lot and we talked, we joked about it a lot, but it was, it is a really special place. It was an incredible place to raise my kids. And I just I hope I hope we find a way to get back there. Even after all this, I just know I've lived in L.A. my whole life and I was just that's the happiest I've ever been. Right.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
So I just want to make sure people know it's it's a really incredible place. It's an incredible community. The people there are just amazing. The way that also Los Angeles is just banded together is.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
As someone who is from here, and girls, I know you're from here too, it's really inspiring. It's beautiful. It's uplifting. There's just little bright spots in all of this shittiness and, you know, the way the city comes together.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
They don't have a clue about what's going on. They think... They think we told them... You know, there's always this like, oh, you should be honest with your kids and tell them. And we're like, no, we're just not going to tell them that their house burned down. I think that that's probably, for us, the right thing to do. I gave them emails when they were babies. So I emailed their future selves.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
You know what? We're really lucky. Our family is here. They're all in L.A. We had no shortage of places to go, which is very we're very fortunate for that. There's a lot of people who don't. have anything and don't have any connections. And I think before people think about sending stuff to us, I think you should definitely look into people who really need it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
The boys have more underwear than they've ever had before. They have more socks. I can't stress how many toys they have now. I think they just think that that's their life now. Every day a package comes and there's more toys. And they're just like, this is the best. We're living at Yaya's house. They're like, Just eating. She's feeding them constantly. They're eating.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
They're having more screen time and watching more TV than they ever have before. Like, so they're they're happy. We're happy if they're happy. So we're we're OK.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
I like a guy who doesn't even... Your true colors are showing. What are you doing?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
The links that connect to this episode.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
It's cute. Um, It's just going to be in the summary of the episode.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
It's okay. It's okay. It's not your fault.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
It's fine. We should have given you a script. Anytime links are mentioned, we should just tell you exactly how to say it. And that's on us.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
And I said, this is what happened to this house that you were born, you came into when you were first born in the first three and a half years of your life. But they think we're just living... somewhere else until we build a house and they're really into construction. So like Mikey's like, I'll drive the cement mixer and Charlie can drive the excavator. And it's like, you're not going to build it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
Because when I try and do it, it's, you're doing a really great job.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
So good. Look at you. And then we threw the word link in there and that there's just got you all frazzled. That's okay.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
I love that your son is so fluent in it. It's almost like God played a joke on you.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
It is there. It's also... Look, I love my parents, but the moment I step into that house, I'm a 16-year-old angsty teenager, and this time I'm coming with my kids and my husband, but I'm still like... You regress. Everything my mom says, I'm like... And I've been there for only like what, like four days we've been there. And I'm just like, oh, I can't. I can't.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
She's cooking a meal for us from scratch.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
You know, and I'm just kind of like, mom, you're just you don't get it, mom. It's so much of me just being a kid again.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
I become an asshole a little bit. And I think that that's not healthy for anybody. So I don't know how long we're going to last.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
But when we were like texting, a part of me was like, well, my dad, you know, my dad can build a house because he's good with wood because he's because he built my he carved your brother because he wanted a boy, a real boy.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
Yes. But... You know you don't. Even if I said, oh, you know what? I'd rather you just did it. Yeah. I think you would last... Right.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
Okay, you know what? I think we got to wrap it up. We got to wrap it up.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
Well, I don't know about 18. How old are they now?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
They're three and a half. And they're, honestly, we're living with my parents right now. They're getting toys every day. I don't think they've ever been happier.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
Oh, thanks. Thanks so much for your concern. You're so nice.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
Tack's fine. I don't know if it's this like stoic Soviet thing, but he's like... All right, we got to fill this out. We got to do like he's he's sad about his guitars. He lost all his guitars. But one of his friends gave him one, which is really nice. But, you know, he he's like worried about his random. He's like worried about his kettlebell that he got for Christmas.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
And he's like, God, I hope I find my kettlebell in the rubble. And I'm like, your kettlebell. We could just go. go get that right now.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
He is. He's very worried about me and the boys and how we're feeling. And he's very sweet. And, you know, Oki's fine, too. I know people were probably wondering she's fine, too. She's also like really happy because my dad feeds her a lot of like people food. He'll make a whole meal just for Oki. And so she's like just lounging. Boys are lounging.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
Oh my God. So yeah, Tack is, Tack is, Tack's really, he's such a great person. He's such an incredible father and husband and he's been really good. So yeah, we're very lucky. We're very lucky. I told girls this. I was like, we're the luckiest unlucky people because we have others we can turn to when we need to.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
Oh, well, thank you. You're okay. I do think... I know there's going to be a point where I have to go, like, see someone because I think I legit... Every time I hear wind, I, like... tense up and it's really nerve wracking.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
Yeah. I mean, we are a people. We're in yell therapy, I think, Armenians, my people. But we let it all out. That's very good.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
getting it out and uh and i'm lucky i have a lot of friends who i just i you know we'll talk to them or text them and i'll just tell them exactly how i feel and it's nice to have that comfort to be able to talk to people openly about it because yeah it is this is probably and it's also good but this is probably this is the hardest thing i've ever gone through yep
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
And if this is the hardest thing I've ever gone through, then I've been lucky.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
Because it's, you know, I can rebuild, but other people have gone through so much worse. So I'm lucky in that sense.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
It's not. It's begun. It's not going to take a long time.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
Oh, yeah, that's what I figured. I knew you were saying that.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
They can get licensed. And I don't think they can.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
Can I just say also, I'm really, really happy to come back to work. Because I think this podcast has gotten me through COVID. It's gotten me through fertility treatments. And it's going to get me through this. And I love being in this room and talking with you guys. I love my job. And I'm very lucky that I get to have it. So please don't fire me.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
It's our entire street. Our whole neighborhood has just been... just just destroyed it looks like it's hard for me to look at pictures it looks really almost apocalyptic there's just nothing there and we've been talking to all our neighbors everyone's okay um but it is you know we we really loved that community and it's yeah it's really sad that it's all gone yeah
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
I think that's the thing, too, is that you're really sad for other people who also lost their houses. And so you just... You all kind of commiserate together. I'm on a group with 70 other people from Altadena on a WhatsApp group, and we're all talking about what the next steps are. So that's keeping us busy. But you're right.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
It's just the number of people I know who lost their homes is... I mean, it's just unthinkable. It's crazy. But thankfully, everybody that we reached out to is safe somewhere. So that's important. But it is... Oh, it sucks.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
We put in an insurance claim. It's all this stuff. And people are sending us so much stuff about property taxes, about, you know, what you could do with your mortgage payments, about signing up for FEMA, signing up for this, signing up for that. And it's I think I just I want my kids to go back to their school, which is fine.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
Yeah. Tax back at work. I'm back. I want like normalcy. And then we'll probably end up having to rent a house for a while and then, you know, figuring it out. It's just there's like a thousand questions. It's crazy how many.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
No, you can't. And that's the thing. It's just there's so much to do. And, you know, I don't like doing anything. And now I have to like fill out forms.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
And I have to think about things.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
It's just so much stuff to think. I mean... Also, I realized I'm not good under pressure. We saw the flames from the ridge near our house. And we had a friend whose husband works in the LAFD. And she's like, you should probably just evacuate. But everything was moving east and we're west. And then all of a sudden at 3.30 when we were at my mom's house, there was an evacuation order for our area.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
And then my alarm company called around 6.00. And they're like, the sensors in the living room and in the master are picking up movement. And I thought, oh, it's that... Can you tell if it's a person or what is it? And she's like, we can't tell. And I asked her, I was like, are they flames? And she didn't know. And then we just... I hung up and I was like, I think my house is currently on fire.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
So we went to Orange County and we just stayed there through Sunday and we made the boys think we were on vacation. And so we were like.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
Having a blast. Yeah. They're just totally clueless, which is nice. It's nice to be around them because they have no idea what's going on. And I think they're one of five. They're two of we're one of five families in their school that all lost their homes. So, you know, it's going to be interesting for them to go back to school. And I hope people don't treat them any different.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
You know, we want to just sort of keep things the same. I just want to fast forward to six months from now where, like, I look back on all the stuff and I'm like, oh, it's OK. It's all just stuff. And then, you know, but.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
I took some stuff. I took like the very important like family heirloom jewelry. I took my grandma's ice bucket, which is like, it's not, you can get it on eBay. It's not like, it's not a special ice bucket.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
We got some heirlooms. But there's a lot of things I think about that are gone. And that makes me really sad. I had a personalized Kobe autograph picture that's gone.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
It was really nice. And he signed an autograph for me and my brother. And then when we met Jimmy Carter and he signed the photo, I had that one. That's gone. There's just a lot of little things that are nothing I can't live without. But I don't want to. I just I really miss that stuff. And it's also it's weird.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
When we were in Orange County, we like packed up our stuff and we're like everything we own is just in our car right now. And that's a very weird thing to think about that, like all of your possessions, everything that is something that you you you've accumulated over the last 40 years, they're all gone and all you have left is whatever's in this van. And it's just it's just really sad.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
I know. And it, it, it's weird. It does feel like you're kind of grieving and you realize like, I mean, I wish I took like, I had a bin full of the boys, like first three years, like little things that I wanted to keep forever. And that's gone. Um, But, you know, and then you're like holding out.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
Maybe we'll go back and like we'll find things that we like in the rubble of whatever's left and we'll just like find something and just be really happy that things still exist. So we're also waiting when we can go back. I mean, the National Guard is everywhere. And so we can't go to our house and, you know, the air quality sucks and everything's just ash. But, you know...
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
Me and Erica Brown went shopping and like the third because I need a whole new I need all new things, everything new. And we went and it kind of like was brought up when I was checking out somewhere that my house was gone. And she's like, oh, we give a 20 percent discount to victims of the fire. And me and Erica were like, we have to call all the stores we just went to. Yeah.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
Do you give a 20% discount? But then it's awkward because you go to a store and you're just like, my house burned down.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
Well, then sometimes, but also it's like an awkward thing to bring up. It's like, hi, how are you doing? It's like, uh, uh, my house burned down. Do I get a discount?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
I know. And then Erica was like, stop saying your house burned down. Say you were displaced by the fires. She just wanted me to use a different wording. No, I think burned down gets you the discount.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
I thought I would last longer before I started crying.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
It's just nuts to just like go around just being like, hi. So the other stores are giving discounts. Like, can I get a discount here when my house burned down? And at first it was like, you know, it's hard to say, oh, my house burned down. I would cry every single time. And then I just like I got to a point where I was like, hi, my house burned down.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
It's like, what kind of discounts you got for me?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Conan, Sona, and Matt Discuss the LA Fires
I really thought I was like, keep it together. Yeah. Well, you don't have to keep it together.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
The guy, the little guy, the paper boy comes back at night just for your house?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
Yes, I ate garlic. Lots of garlic, lots of lemon. But I did eventually get it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
Not even the root. I know. But you know, Gorley, who's not here, has never had it yet.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
He could be. He could be. And Eduardo never had it up until like a month ago. Oh, wow. Yeah. I know. Isn't that crazy?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
Wait, you guys are living in the houseboat? I don't understand why you're- Yes, that's the whole point.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
When I go to your house, I'm just going to break it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
We'll get some good comedy here. I'm not a monster.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
Oh, it was heavy. It was really heavy. I mean, I'd never been to Armenia. I am Armenian. I felt a lot of what Conan was saying about how you get there. I was crying the entire time I was there, I feel like. But then I saw my dad's village engraved in the wall of all the villages that were affected by the genocide. And it's like I instantly just felt some kind of connection to my grandparents there.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
I'm feeling emotional talking about it now. It was amazing. It was one of probably the most heart-wrenching moments of my life.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
I was not expecting to feel that overwhelmed about it. I don't know. I mean, I think that something just got very triggered in me. And you suddenly feel very connected to your past.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
Yeah. It puts everything into a very different perspective.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
I need to talk about what happened to me on Saturday. Because I hosted all day, and it was so much fun. I hosted the Pasadena Armenian Festival.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
I had posted it up on Instagram that I was going to be at this thing to just kind of help promote it. And I had a few of our fans who aren't even Armenian come to the festival to come meet me. Oh, that's cool. Which was honestly really cool.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
Yeah, I brought us together. So can I can I give a shout out to a couple of people who came?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
Daniel came with his girlfriend, Michelle. Daniel's a fan. Michelle doesn't listen. So we could just forget Michelle.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
And then Marianne and Dean came. So they came all the way from, I think, the Midwest. They drove all the way out here.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
Not for me specifically. They came for something else. But then I was like, a stop. So I'm just going to tell myself it was for me.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
But they they did. Let's just say they did. But they also Dean and Marianne. I met them. They're lovely people. Dean, I find out, writes fan fiction about you. He writes it about a lot of things, but he also writes a lot of Conan O'Brien specific fan fiction.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
It's explicit. It's erotic fan fiction. It's erotic fan fiction.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
It's funny you say that because I was like, really, Conan? And I'm like, he's just, you know, he's very, he's like, I was like, you know, I was talking to Dean and Marianne and I said, he's just a very kind of repressed, got this repressed Catholic energy. And he said a lot of the fan fiction that he writes comes from you like coming out of your Repression.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
I mean, I looked at just the descriptions. I said, pass. I can't do it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
You know, so you never read... I love fan fiction.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
Oh, no, I think he, like, left his info, and then they had, like, a dalliance after it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
No, he's got his, the website is, can I just say the website so people can go read it?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
The website is called archiveofourown.org and he's drhpaints and he's got a lot of Conan specific fan fiction.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
And it's erotica. It's a lot of erotica and it's very explicit because that's the fun part about fan fiction.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
This is fun stuff. And I think it's very flattering. I mean, like, you know, there was an entire movie series, the after movie series, that was based on fan fiction written about Harry Styles.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
I'm just saying. I'm like, I just think it's very flattering when people choose you as like a main character in any sort of literary kind of take they have on anything.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
No, Matt, if you keep reading it, I'm going to burn this entire building down to the ground.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
I need to leave. I quit. I have to quit right now. First of all, you brought this up. I'm done.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
I know. He was really nice, and his girlfriend was really nice. And I thought, hey, this is fun.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
I thought you were going to say you did it, but you called it like you knew it was going to happen.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
No, no. We celebrate American Christmas, too. But we you know, we have a fake tree, which you guys got mad at me for when we were doing summer s'mores. Yeah. And then we like put a few things out. But we're not like the house people stop at when they're driving down the block and be like, oh, my God, look at this.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
I can't whistle and I don't know that.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
I can't whistle. Is that true? I've never seen this movie.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Oh, he was wonderful. Everybody was wonderful.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Of course, I heard that whole, I've seen every, I've heard every episode, every single one. I don't know if we should be excited or horrified that you're coming.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Wait, you mean like if Jeff invited you to like a weird sex party, you'd be like, oh, okay.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
I believed you for a second and now I feel really dumb.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Oh, my God. There's so many emissions happening.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
I was on the edge of my seat the entire time you were singing because I thought he was going to go into some bit and like do something with your voice.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
It's a bit. You're like joking around.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Yeah. Hugh Grant's brother. I know that reference. Yes. Yes.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
When you said Julie Andrews, I was like, yeah, she narrated Bridgerton. So I know her.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Okay, no one's going to fight you. You can have them. Yeah.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
That alone. That's big. No one else would watch it otherwise.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Was it 70 minutes just the part where he goes, my name is Jeff Goldblum and I'm... And I feel like that alone was like 45 minutes. It was incredible.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Stop it. You pronounced my name right.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Oh my God, it's going to smell like garlic. Yeah, I was going to say. And gorley, and gorley.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
I've never heard that. I've never heard anybody say, oh my God, it's Conan.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Do you really think he didn't have any friends?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Jeff, come on, let's prove these knuckleheads wrong.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Yeah, that's true. I love him so much.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
He doesn't have to know who we are, me and Matt, and he does.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
It's also... It's like... No, I can handle it. I really want to know. He is a chill person who seems very comfortable in his skin and very confident. Not that you're not, but it seems like he's been that way much longer than you have. I feel like you went through a very awkward phase where you were like, ooh, I don't like myself.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
I don't, you guys said so many names of shows and so many actors I had never heard of. And all three of you were like, oh my God, that guy was the best. Like it was just like constant splooging over like 70s obscure shows. Okay. Come on. You were just doing a whole sex thing about grumblings.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Do you think we like him because he's nice to us? Oh, right. Maybe if you tried being nice to me and Matt, then we would, like mom, maybe still not then.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
That's not being nice to someone. You got a paycheck. I'm your employee. That doesn't mean you're nice to me.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
The fact that you even thought about- Do you do okay with me?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
That doesn't sound how nice this works. It's not transaction. What are you talking about?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
I wonder why we like Jeff Goldblum more than you.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
He's my favorite tall person. And he just exudes this like sense of ease. And you know what? He doesn't have to pay me for me to like him.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Into friendship? Into the concept of being nice?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
And you're telling me to clean it up because I said splooge?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
Yeah. And he remembers everybody. He's just, he like, when he looks at you, he looks at you and he knows your name and he remembers you. And that goes a long way.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
That's what you guys did the whole interview.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)
I didn't say each other. Every time someone would say, oh yeah, do you remember this one actor who was in one show for three episodes? You were like, oh my God, that guy was the best guy I've ever heard of in my life.