Craig
Appearances
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
Golik was stuck on the tarmac for three hours.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
How come they canceled school in Tallahassee in northern Florida? Are you kidding me? Like, my daughter is going to school right now in Chicago. It is 14 below there, and it's 38 degrees in Tallahassee. We've shut down school.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
Well, it's snowing in Tallahassee, which is, I mean... Barely Florida. It's the northernmost part of Florida. So if it's snowing in Atlanta, it would stand to reason snowing in Tallahassee is not that far off and not that big of a deal. Right.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
To Greg's point, no one wants to be told when to cheer, how to cheer. We're going to cheer. Oh, no. I love a good over the PA system...
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
Yeah, Greg, it's an odd take from you only from this standpoint. I agree with what it is you're saying, but you strike me as someone who would love to be a hype man.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
This is the Don Labrador Show with the Stugats.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
That's what I'm saying. You would enjoy that.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
He's warming up to the idea.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
Yeah. You know what I'm saying? It's not bad. With your initials on it.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
You get in wherever you want. Yeah.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
There is something to that, Dan, where on Monday I was out of gas. I can't believe I'm saying this. I didn't want more football. Really? Yeah.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
I wasn't in the mood for a college football national championship game. It was a Monday. Liar.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
So what's the problem?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
I've always treated college football as some sort of appetizer for the NFL, and so I like my college football to come before the NFL. I got Ravens and Bills, and then I was forced to watch something that I was interested in, but the product was not nearly as good.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
Give me the 40 minutes I can get in the bathroom. He said nothing about kids. I never mention kids or my family.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
Yeah. What a blessing, though, they are. Oh, they're the best. Love you, kids.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
It's easy to sit there and not have kids and tell other parents how easy it is to say no. It's not easy. It's impossible.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
He could, but he's not immortal is what we're saying.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
Delaney Walker has more catches than he does.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
But Goddard stiff-armed a guy and then slowed down to stiff-arm the same guy again.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
I think Shannon. I think, yeah, Hernandez.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
I wish it were you. I know, I do too.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
What a weird sentence.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
That is rough for Heyman. I mean, that's as far as he'll go.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
Careful. That's too much.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
10 characters of any actor, Greg.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
No, it's as far as John Heyman is willing to go. So he's really pissed off.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
Bonafides. Exactly. Yeah.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
Yeah, I think so. How about house arrest, though? I mean, seems a bit excessive.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
Classic brown wave. Right. But you left us hanging. Yeah.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
I think I want the whole experience.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
You have to have a clean record, and you have to have strong ties to the community.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
To get what? To get house arrest.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
I don't have to visit.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
Imagine having the ability to say, I can't go out with you tonight.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
Can I just buy a house arrest monitor and put it on myself to tell people?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
See if we can get a deal on two of those.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
You have to start sending the family away, Billy.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
Oh, yeah, no, of course not.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
Yeah. It's delayed, right? It's so sad. It morphs.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
Why'd you poop blood? It's a good question. Happens to the best of us. We're all thinking about it, dude.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
Let's move on. Okay.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
I know. I mean, I'm concerned about you. You said you pooped blood.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Greg Cote is a Natural Hype Man
So I didn't know if it was true or not.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
But none of you know how to eat. Just stop eating on camera for Christ's sake. The show's about manners.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
I cannot wait about Severance to start again. So yeah, I'll be doing the same thing. Watching it all through Prime. It's convenient to not have to leave the Prime Video app to switch between all of these subscriptions.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
and uh she starts talking about how she she's like i always feel bad for austin and then she just starts to laugh i mean look at him he's just pathetic and she's so tall you know at least short people got blamed into the crowd but he's just such a tall loser i mean it's just like a target just being right up there we can all aim for it you know i just feel bad for the guy
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
And, of course, we get a shot. She's like, we've had Epsom tans. And then we get the shot of, God, Madison's insane, with him grabbing his wiener. And she's just passing the camera going, you motherfucker, I'm going to kill you and all your firstborns.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
Look, he just takes my friendship for granted. If he wants to play victim in all of this, I mean, fuck that guy. He's pushing me away. And I don't know what to tell you. We were friends, but now we're like strangers.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
I really like when they showed the clip of them, Craig shirtless, sitting in his pool, leaning back, having a beer. And Austin's like, God, Craig, all you do is work. And he's like, all I do is work anymore. It's like lounging by your pool.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
I mean, I do think Craig's just like, you guys mostly want to go out and get shit-faced, and I'm not going out and getting shit-faced. So what do you want me to do? And it is hard when you're used to getting shit-faced with people, and then you have to come up with alternate things to do. I remember one of my friends got sober, and I was like, okay, well, now what do we do?
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
Like we literally sat there and stared at each other like, should we go to an amusement park? I mean, we went to like Six Flags. We ate a lot. That's for damn sure. We got real fat. And I think we, you know, like how many times can you go to Ross Rest for Less together and look at the home section? It's not very big. So, I mean, I get it.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
You know, if that's your hobby, it's very difficult to find another hobby is all I'm saying. Yeah. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
HERS is transforming women's health care by providing access to affordable weight loss treatment plans delivered straight to your door if prescribed.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
Start your initial free online visit today at 4HERS.com slash crappins.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
No better way to do that than a nice new piece of beautiful furniture.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
I just did my place all mid-century modern, and I got the most beautiful mid-century modern style furniture from Wayfair. It is so good looking.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
If you're looking to get away with all the fabulous luxe experience of the Housewives, but none of the drama, check out Virgin Voyages.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
There's something for every style and home, no matter your space or budget.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. Wayfair. Every style. Every home. Today's episode is sponsored by Acorns.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
You don't need to be an expert. Acorns will recommend a diversified portfolio that matches you and your money goals.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
Saving is so, so important. You know, with everything going on in the world, you never know what's going to happen and you need to have your little nest egg going.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
Head to acorns.com slash crappins or download the Acorns app to get started.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
Investing involves risk. Acorn Advisors LLC and SEC registered investment advisor. View important disclosures at acorns.com slash cravens. Elevating my style used to mean breaking the bank, but with Quince, I get high-end, versatile pieces at prices I can actually afford. Now I can upgrade my style by snagging luxury essentials that sync with my vibe and my wallet.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
The best part? All Quince items are priced 50-80% less than similar brands.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices, along with premium fabrics and finishes. I love that.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
Indulge in affordable luxury. Go to quince.com slash crappins for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. That's quince.com, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash crappins to get free shipping and 365-day returns. quince.com slash crappins.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
These are exclusively built kid-free cruises, so no matter what you're looking for, you can get the type of experience you need most, all catered to adult tastes.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
Like, wow, you want me to go in there and yell at the principal? Tell him that those bullies keep messing with you and they're going to have money to deal with? And he's like, no, mama, come on. He's like, well, you know, I'm going to try Augusta again, but if that doesn't work out, I guess I'm going to have to go back to my high school friends, mama.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
I'm just going to have to keep going back until there's someone to hang out with me. She's like, just don't show pictures of your couch, honey, because nobody's going to want to be friends with someone from the... Actually, his couch here is pretty cute in the apartment. I'm referring to that ugly couch that he bought for his rental that she hated.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
Also, I can never feel sorry for a guy who's like, but I'm just honest.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
Because that's the sign of huge douchebaggery.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
I don't know that I would have even apologized to Taylor. You know, and seeing those clips, they played those clips from last week a lot over and over.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
Taylor, you're on a reality show about messiness, and you literally dated Shep to get on this show, and now you're dating another person who's like TV ready to be on this show, and now you're storming out every other episode, and I just don't know that you have that right. And also, you're supposed to be messy on the show. What do you think we want to sit here and watch you talk about?
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
People bringing up your plot is kind of doing you a favor, you dummy. It's called your job. You're not doing it. Someone has to do it. Would you think we would just want to sit here and watch you play pickleball with the semi-hot ears guy? No.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
She's a sweet girl because she texts me sometimes, you know, and she'll say something nice to me. I'm just like, what a nice girl. And she's like, well, she does love you, Mama. Benita does love you. I mean, she really does, you know, and I know you like her too. And he's like, yeah, you know, my mama's right. Benita's a shining star.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
And, you know, there's chemistry between us, but we just don't talk about it because, you know, we just have this...
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
Book now at virginvoyages.com or contact your travel advisor.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
My turn. It's like JT's big end of Gypsy moment. Can you tell I saw Gypsy last night on Broadway? He's like, here he is, boys.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
She's got a lot more storyline in this show. That's for sure. Um, but yeah, I don't know. And also you're just making this huge amount of food for Leva. Who's just like, she looks at it like, um, I make an extreme effort to not ever touch that. So I don't know what you think I'm doing here. Leva is also just like, oh, here I am filming a scene. How long do I have to stay here?
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
I mean, I've really got things to do. So.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
pack and leva is like okay so did you make out with jt i'm just saying you guys have chemistry i feel like the more that we talk about you guys having chemistry you guys will actually have chemistry for the audience yeah and uh she's like okay oh my god oh my god i just don't know listen you're trying too hard to stay on this show when you go this low and i'm i'm doing it with my hands to go this low and i realize i'm i'm making a short joke but i don't really mean to do that
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
but when you steep that low you not only embarrass yourself but you kind of hurt your back because that that is he's really low he's really low just stop it do better yeah so um she's like teehee i just like him so much and everybody's like oh my god they're fighting and i'm like oh my god he's so cute and love is like oh my god you're like yeah is he tan like is he fighting like i'm gonna make out with that guy but level looks kind of grossed out you know
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
but I didn't get the vibes from Manny that Manny was really into it either. I mean, remember that breakup scene they showed when Manny's like, yep, I'm going to go to Broadway. She's like, Oh my God, we're going to Broadway. He's like, I'm going to Broadway.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
Oh, well, maybe he will be back in three months. You see how it goes? You got to love when Broadway people are like, three months? There's no way I'll be back in three months. Maybe 10 years. It's like three months later. He's like, oh, yeah, that wasn't my best work. I'm back. I'm back. Illinois.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
Listen. Vanita, this whole storyline is like a class pass. I'm just not buying it. I'm never going to buy it. There's nothing you're going to do to make me buy it. I'm not going to do it. Okay.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
Yeah, make sure they're going to listen. You know what I mean? If you're going to need to boss somebody around, you're going to need to get a listener. And no one on this cast is going to do it, I'll tell you right now. Men in Charleston have too many options. You need to move.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
So she's like, yeah, he's a marriage guy. Love is like, yeah, he's totally a marriage guy. I mean, who wouldn't want to marry that guy? Like, seriously, if you know that if there's a bad storm, that man is going to build you a dam.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Good. Very excited. Tomorrow is the Golden Crappies here in New York City. It's finally here. The day has finally come. We're so excited. If you don't have tickets, get streaming tickets. They're available right now on WatchWhatCrappens.com. It's our yearly award show. It's going to be fabulous. Then next week, we will be in Salt Lake City and Denver.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
At Whole Foods Market, you can save every day even without a sale. Look for the yellow low price signs that help call out some of the most competitively priced items with the high quality you expect from Whole Foods Market.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
She's like, hey, do you have two hours? I've just got a tuba to play for you.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
Yeah, and this is one of those scenes that really kind of illustrates, I think, what a lot of people go through, especially in a town like Charleston, where the men have way too many options. And it's kind of sad to watch. Like, you've got these two gorgeous girls with every, like, their whole beautiful lives in front of them, like... I hope we look good for guys, and especially Sally.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
I'm not necessarily, I shouldn't say that about Molly, because Sally is the one who's like, well, it's not like my ex-fiance told me your boobs aren't good. Oh, because she's talking about how she got a breast reduction. So she's like, well, I started doing Botox because I was insecure, but also it makes me happy.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
And then I got a breast reduction because it's not like my boyfriend, my ex-fiancee told me my boobs weren't good enough, but it's just all the girls he was cheating on me with just had these bigger boobs. So I got porn boobs. He's looking at porn a lot, so I got porn boobs. And then I thought, am I doing this for me? No, I'm not really. I was like, this is so sad. I don't like this.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
I just want to go firebomb that guy's house.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
That girl has cankle tits now. Like, that is my hero on Bravo. Someone who's just like, take my cankles and put them in my boobs. I mean, that's the best Bravo shit I've ever heard. And I was not expecting to immediately stan her.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
during this episode i mean look i already love her because she plays the tuba and she eats cupcake sandwiches okay she's already got that going for her but it was cemented today put the woman's hand in some cement and get them on a sidewalk because she has cankle boobs on purpose and she's like that's right and i tell people hey babe big boy do you like that they're my cankles they were terrible you should have seen how big they are yes
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
Girl, I'm getting my waddle put into my boobs. Just wait. And I knew you were going to say that.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
I'm going to have a waddle dick. I'm going to get my waddle injected into my dick, period.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
um so anyway yeah so she she had that procedure and um she's like well people are not giving me bad uh feedback which is nice and sal is like yeah so um i think it was yeah she's like guys are saying i'm look great so i guess it looks good well glad you're not looking for fucking validation anymore with the new one i'm glad you got new ones to not get validation from the ex-fiance just everybody else now come on man you're better than this
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
uh for our mass hysteria tour and that tour will be continuing through may so check watch what crappens.com for ticket links and also for videos like this you're watching right now and uh for our traders recaps which are great and fun and we love that show so thank you so much for being here everybody we sure love you oh also announcement what we will be covering in salt lake city and denver in salt lake we're going to do salt lake reunion part three and gotta do it
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
I was all scared. Molly's like, well, I'm not super forward. I'm just like really awkward. Like I like playing the tuba. I'm just such a nerd. And I'm like, is this going to be a thing now? Because like, I mean, he's with Sienna. It's not like I'm like trying to steal some guy. Tee hee, tee hee. Am I doing this right?
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
They'll also use really big words out of context and kind of mispronounce them a lot. It's going to be amazing. Can't wait. I see my whole life in front of me. It's like a community theater production of Shakespeare where no one can remember their lines.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
And Austin's just looking around the room doing that mouth thing. He's like, uh, what do you mean? Like, Austin knows something and he's not telling Shep, is what I'm saying. And he's like, yeah, well, she should have, you know, she should have texted, you know. But at that point, I was just kind of spiraling, you know. So, oh, God, you want me to read it? I just, I said on Sunday, where are you?
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
And Austin's like, uh, just like, hard stop. Just hard stop. Like, what?
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
You know Taylor is sitting at home just like stabbing a ham. You know what I mean? I feel like she pulled a ham out of the refrigerator.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
Taylor pulled out a ham. She slammed it down on the coffee table and she's just stabbing it as she watches the scene. Because all the work that she put into Shep and Shep with this new person is just suddenly like...
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
I agree that he's a dog. I don't know that we've ever seen Shep chase a person, though. I don't know that Shep's really a chaser. He's just kind of a liar downer, in my opinion. But I will say, I do think now he's becoming more of a chaser because he's realized that he's old and he's not pulling the same that he did before.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
Yeah, in Denver, we're going to be doing Southern Charm, this very show. Speaking of, thank you to Andy and Watch What Happens Live for having us on as bartenders last night. That was so fun, and we got to be on that with Southern Charm stars, Austin Kroll. This is the thing right now.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
because Taylor was like what four years ago that that started and I think things changed okay and his reputation got worse and worse and worse as well as his you know general age I mean we age that's that's how life works and I think he's got this young beautiful girl and it's because she's young I think he's chasing her youth you know and I get it because I'm getting older
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
and i see younger people and i really want to start carrying around a syringe and just start stealing their stem cells out of their spinal fluid you know i'm just like i'm on the subway i'm so close to that 20 year old spine i could just get a little stem cell out of there and inject it right into my cheek and everything will be okay and i think shep's just realizing that this might be his last option you know it's his last chance to get a youngin
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
That was a really long text, which basically said,
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
and patricia also so that was super fun to hang out with those guys and um don't worry i already told austin uh i'm gonna come back to work and still mock him relentlessly so yeah don't worry we didn't get paid off or anything like that uh but we did have a really really good time
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
And Austin's like, well, sorry to hear this, ma'am. But, you know, I really am. But you've hung out with her for like six weekends. I mean, that's nothing. Are you kidding? Six weekends? In gay life, that is like our 10th anniversary. You're fucking talking about six weekends? That's a lot.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
Yeah, I think that's exactly what Shep's doing here. I mean, I know that we're all supposed to feel sorry for Shep because he's getting used by this girl. And poor Shep, his heart is broken. But that's exactly what they're going for on this show. And I hope you guys aren't falling for it because when Austin says it's like a humanizing quality to Shep, that's why they're doing it, okay?
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
He needs a humanizing moment, and I'm not falling for it.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
Yeah, I think that he's just, he picks somebody who's not there so he can cheat all the time. But then he can still say, I have a beautiful girlfriend and she's young, so I'm still sexually viable. And then he doesn't have to put in the work to actually be a boyfriend because she's not ever there. And I mean, I just think it's like a whole perfect package and it's just all for his reputation.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
I love it. Hold on. Let me let Ashley's children sit on there.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
I think so, too. It's all a charcuterie of douchebaggery. You know what I mean?
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
You know, your mind wanders to places, and it just sucks, you know? My fear, my paranoia, as if there's a dude, some dude, who seems like a big shot. Maybe he is a big shot. I don't know. I wonder how much mailbox money he gets. I wonder if his dad prefers wooden blinds on rental homes.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
I don't know. I can't wait to ask her.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
But, you know, like in my mind. god are we not doing that and i'm like wow you even gave her the cast trip you gave this new person the cast trip oh you are so pathetic and this is such karma but again it's hard for me to believe that he didn't set this up to make himself look like a huge victim time will tell time will tell
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
Like, whoa. Like, this is nuts right now. Like, I just want to, like, begin our, like, footing again. You know? Like, I want to start getting back to, like, having a very solid relationship.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
Yeah. You can see why he would just wake up with two girls in his bed while he's got a girlfriend. I mean, you basically see that happening. It's wild. That is definitely someone who wants to have a girlfriend that lives out of town. I'll tell you that much.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trach.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
I love-a-ya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
Yes, we can-a, it's Sedana.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
Watch what crappens, watch what crappens, watch what crappens. We are people working outside of Levis Restaurant right now. Republic. All right, let's get into it. Southern charm. Southern charm. Okay, we start at Austin's house. He's screaming like a little girl because he sees a wasp nest attached to his door. And guess what? I don't blame him.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
Although I will say, looking at Charleston wasp... God damn, I'm gay. Wasp... Wasp nests. How do straight people say it? Wasp nest. Wasp... Wasp... Wasp nests. Um...
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
texas wasp nests are way bigger so we should be more scared those things are like tiny little dogs crawling over honeycomb you know ours are humongous like you better run i have to get a wasp sprayer that like goes 20 feet because my ass stands very far away and then i run and then i have a blanket to throw over myself because that will kill you
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
like don't do that like it's dangerous it's not where you should be it's gonna be a threat to everything and we're just gonna kill you because we're not gonna like having you there and that's what austin does but what i felt bad about was don't give a fuck that's what i'll tell you wasp do not give a fuck and they're daring us they're daring us to pull out the spray so they can attack our asses listen they don't get to live like really long productive lives like there's no college plan for a wasp they want to kill a bitch okay and they're gonna get us
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
You can find these great prices in store and online. Shop Whole Foods Market on Amazon and get free pickup and convenient delivery on all your wellness journey essentials. Terms apply. Save on your wellness routine with great everyday prices at Whole Foods Market. How annoying is it to have to switch apps to watch your favorite movies and videos? Different logins, forgotten passwords.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
Truly. Luckily, Austin got so afraid of the wasps that he was like, oh, my God, Madison, and his spit landed on the wasp mess, so it dissolved before he even had to spray it, which is great.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
That's why later in the show when they were following Austin down the street, the camera kept kind of wobbling because the cameraman was limping. You know, because you know his ass got stung. He was just like crawling along the ground, just holding the camera like, I will get this shot. I will get it.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
Yeah, the problem is you have to have the upper body strength to pull yourself back up because there's bars and you kind of pull on the bars and it brings you back up. And it's supposed to be very easy, but I'm not a light person. So I have worried, you know, and it's hard being blind when your stomach like comes and covers your eyes, like your your boob flap comes and covers.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
I'm like, wait a minute. I'm not used to my boobs being like this.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
I care about Charles. How dare you? But I will say that this is an episode about Shep's girlfriend totally using him and being a user and camera ready and all this. But no one's complaining about this dog. I mean, this dog literally goes right in front of her face and sits down and stares straight into the camera. Why is no one worried about this dog being a user?
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
Welcome, I'm ready for my closeup. So then, let's see, Miss Patricia is FaceTiming Whitney and he's like, mother, I'm in Cannes. Yeah, look, look, there's Cannes. She's like, oh, wow, fantastic. I've never seen Cannes before, Whitney, wow. You're just there like I am, except way far back into the city. He's like, can you see the bay? She's like, I've been closer.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
Then we see Madison arriving at a place called Frothy Beard Brewing Company. Gross. Shave. Shave Brewing Company. And you know there's food stuck in that Brewing Company's beard. I don't care. ZZ Top is dead, okay? Well, I don't know if literally, but like figuratively. Let's just all stop with those beards that come down to our chins. It's gross. Wear a napkin like everybody else, okay?
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
I don't want to see shrimp peels in somebody's beard trying to come make out with me.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
Great. Sounds like a delicious beer. Can't wait to drink it.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
Experience the convenience of having your favorite subscriptions in your Prime Video account with one login and one password.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
You're a friend with the natural cast of the traitors. Everybody on this show betrays each other constantly.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
Also, in the beginning, she was doing that whole act.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
fuck craig craig is the reason that everybody's mad at jt in the first place i love that they're acting like saint craig is over here doing something nice for jt jt is the one who ruined his reputation in the first place well the canes didn't help let me say it did not help i'm not going to be totally on this show because he's a total douchebag too just in a smaller beavery package but um yeah
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
He wasn't telling a lie. Brett did call and demand to know what happened in that room and who else was in there.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
You decided to go work for the evil empire, okay? Who's the traitor now?
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
Yeah, you're just a real fucking helper, Craig. You really deserve a hero statue in the middle of town. I hope they take one of those racist ones down and just put Craig up there like, I tried to reintegrate JT. Like, no, it doesn't work like that. You were the one who kicked him out in the first place. So he's like, yeah, I wanted to tell you the next day. He's like, I know.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
I watched Dune Prophecy recently and I love that show. That's on Max.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
But listen, if anything, it just hurt my feelings because I do think that our relationship is stronger than your and JT's relationship. So he's like, watching men eat on this show, I swear to God, can't they do it like housewife shows where you put food down in front of them and they never touch it? I mean, have some manners. Nobody wants to watch you eat with your mouth open.
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
And also, what are the parents? I know Craig wasn't even raised here, but why do parents on this show not tell their children to close their mouth while they eat?
Watch What Crappens
#2711 Southern Charm S10E08 Part One: Garshbitration
Austin and Shep are both pretty bad. Because Shep just, he's always eating chips and guacamole, I've noticed. And he always just does it like. He's like kind of an open garbage. But like he's half eating and half moisturizing his face with the guacamole. And then Austin eats like, if a bird was eating a gumdrop, he's like. Yeah. He's like more mouth forward when he eats and spittley. Yeah.
Watch What Crappens
#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
And Craig's like, but you see why it's not going to be fun to go out on a party boat if all of us have something to talk to you about? Like, why don't you just apologize to people?
Watch What Crappens
#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Ha, got you. So he's like, you know, things are not going to get better with me sitting here. So I'm going to go to the bar.
Watch What Crappens
#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
And Austin's like, that is a different animal. How dare you compare that to them?
Watch What Crappens
#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
I don't care how dare you conflate that two.
Watch What Crappens
#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Commercials. Here comes one right now.
Watch What Crappens
#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Yeah, but you know what? This isn't healthy. Like, you slept on a beach chair because of her, you know? Like, you don't want anything to do with that.
Watch What Crappens
#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
And he's like, but, like, everything you're going through, like, is her fault. Because, like, if three weeks ago you planned this trip, those feelings were the same. Like, we'd be one big happy family.
Watch What Crappens
#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Well, here's what he's hung up on because he's like, how could someone tell me that they loved me three weeks ago and now act like this?
Watch What Crappens
#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
You know, your friends can be like, come on, man.
Watch What Crappens
#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
Go where the tide is.
Watch What Crappens
#2745 Southern Charm S10E12 Garsh Expectations on Shudder Island
It's very obvious she's stringing him on now, okay?
Watch What Crappens
#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
I could technically write up the visa paperwork for her, like a K-1, which just means if Shep proposes, she would get a temporary visa.
Watch What Crappens
#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
And Austin goes, obviously, it doesn't take Freud to figure that one out, okay? God, fucking idiot. I thought gay people were supposed to be smart.
Watch What Crappens
#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Yeah, but she's drinking him along now like a poor person.
Watch What Crappens
#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
And Craig's like, we can be wingmen. We know what we're doing.
Watch What Crappens
#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
He's like, I feel like I can sense people's energies right away. And I know any hope that I had that Sienna was genuine with her feelings with Shep disappeared as soon as she walked in the room.
Watch What Crappens
#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
And Craig's like, well, I mean, if he's going to California anyway, it's better to be in the Bahamas than just like sitting around Charleston.
Watch What Crappens
#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Yeah, but they were saying, I love you and stuff.
Watch What Crappens
#2728 Southern Charm S10E09 Bahama Shucks
Enjoy it back there in the middle of the homeliest people in town.
Watch What Crappens
#2654 Southern Charm S10E02: Easterring The Pot
Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens?
Watch What Crappens
#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
So Shep was like, speaking of sharks, Craig, the necklace, look, Megalodon tooth sighting, 3 p.m.
Watch What Crappens
#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
I put a lot of thought into that Megalodon necklace.
Watch What Crappens
#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Oh, I don't even have a car. I'm kidding. Of course I have a car. I was making reference to the passenger seat thing. Oh, gosh.
Watch What Crappens
#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Yeah, I'm just a humble boy standing in front of a girl asking her to enjoy a Megalodon tooth.
Watch What Crappens
#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Gosh, I can't keep control. If it's past a thou, I don't know. Was Joanna Crohn's in Macbeth? Because if she wasn't, I don't know.
Watch What Crappens
#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
We were almost in love by a small window. Gosh.
Watch What Crappens
#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
So Steph's like, oh my gosh, this is crazy, Craig. It's crazy. I got this necklace for a girl. Will I look like a fool? Will I look like a tool? Will I look like Ja Rule if I give it to her?
Watch What Crappens
#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
And it's dark, and y'all are here. Thank you for being a star, whoever you are. Now, can I get a coffee, please? Uh-uh.
Watch What Crappens
#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Oh, so just three little birds having a cocktail. Am I right, guys?
Watch What Crappens
#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
Now that I think about it, she never really did say I love you. We only did go on one date. I only learned what her name was two weeks ago. Huh, funny what hindsight can give you.
Watch What Crappens
#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
No, no, but we have a connection. This sort of connection that you honor by finding a Megalodon tooth and putting it on a chain and wrapping it around her neck.
Watch What Crappens
#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
You know, I'll act like it doesn't bother me, but I mean, it does a little, but I can handle this. Big boys get shark teeth.
Watch What Crappens
#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
I feel like I'm in enemy territory. It's like the Viet Cong are all around me and Ken Burns isn't here with a camera.
Watch What Crappens
#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island
So he's like, really? Here we go.