Kat Timpf is an author, comedian, and political commentator. She’s currently the co-host of "Gutfeld!" on Fox News and is a Fox News analyst. Her latest book is "I Used to Like You Until... (How Binary Thinking Divides Us)." Look for it on September 10. www.therealkattimpf.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Nice to meet you. Great to meet you, too.
Thank you. Thanks for being here.
Of course. Yeah, of course I'm here, right? Of course I'm going to do this.
I'm glad you're doing it.
Yeah.
So you wrote a book about, well, I think the title is I Used to Like You But. Until.
Yeah, I Used to Like You Until.
Why did you want to do that? What was the motivation behind that?
I mean, it's not a hot take that everything's so divided now, right? I think a lot of people have noticed that. But I think I'm really in this unique position where I kind of get it from both sides because I'm independent politically. I just want very small government, which I think puts me at odds with both parties sometimes, depending on what the issue is. So...
I will sometimes get shit from the I'm on Fox News. So I'll get sometimes shit from the viewers for sometimes more of this more social issues or I'm not religious, that kind of a thing. But then the people on the left, a lot of them won't even want to have a conversation with me. So like, oh, she works at Fox News. That tells me everything I need to know about. Yeah.
And I think that that's doing some real damage overall to us as a country by the fact that we're letting – because I'm not special in that aspect, right? People will let one aspect of a person completely just – that's all I need to know about that person. I'm not going to talk to that person.
Yeah. Yeah, that's a real problem. And it's so funny. Like if you say I'm independent, I just want small government. Immediately people start thinking prepper, KKK, stockpiling guns, living in the woods. I'm independent. I want small government is like you might be a dangerous person.
Which is such a wild take. Well, people think that just because you don't think the government's the best way to solve a problem, that doesn't actually mean you don't care about the problem. So if you don't think the government can solve something like, oh, well, you're a piece of shit because you don't care about this or this. It's like, no, I just don't think the government's going to solve it.
The problem with the government solving problems and the government is not financially invested in a solution. No. They just want to have more jobs and they want to keep more bureaucracy and more people working on a problem, hence the California homeless problem. Imagine if that was farmed off to the private sector.
Imagine if the only way to make money in the homeless problem is actually creating a solution for it.
Yeah. But there's no there's like you said, there's no actual incentive for them to do that. New York's the same. I mean, I live in New York because I love my job. But if I didn't have my job, I would not live there because it's so expensive. Right. And I was in L.A. last week and I was coming back from JFK in the morning after a red eye. I am exhausted. I'm pregnant.
I'm trying to sleep in the car in the roads. I'm just getting pothole after pothole. I'm like going on. I'm like, where are my taxes going exactly? Yeah, because everyone would say these roads, the roads are shit.
Yeah. So I lived in New York once. I drove. I had to do an audition. I drove to I lived in New Rochelle. So I lived like right outside the Bronx and I drove to the city and home from the city. I blew out one tire driving to the city at a pull over the side of the road. Change this fucking tire. Dangerous risking my life on the way back. I blew out another tire. Yeah, geez.
From potholes. Yeah, and it's so expensive. You just hear that bang and you're like, shit. Yeah, it's so expensive. I mean, the fact that I feel very luxurious and it's like a flex to be able to have a child, actually, because we have enough space to put a baby in our rental apartment, which most people don't, actually. I never thought I would get to that position.
People live in closets.
Yeah, I've lived in. When I first moved to New York, I lived in East Harlem. I lived in a truly, actually dangerous neighborhood. I was broken, like just so broke. And it's I don't know how people survive. I really don't. I don't know why. I don't know how I did.
You can get jobs other places.
yeah I had my stupid dream which and it worked out well for me what was your stupid dream I wanted to do exactly what I'm doing now congratulations thank you I mean and then it's of course you achieve something you're like what's the next thing what's the next thing what's the next thing I'm that kind of person but and I'm also it's been so I'm
off of amphetamines right now because I'm pregnant for the first time since I was five. Whoa. Isn't that crazy? Whoa. Yeah. What kind of amphetamines? I mean, you name it. I mean, so I was five. I do have ADHD. I was five years old. What does that mean? So, It can be a lot of things, right? It can be lack of focus. It can be emotional dysregulation.
But for me, a lot of times it's not diagnosed in women until they're older. I was a nuisance. I was unable to function in a classroom setting, which I think is more noticeable if you're a girl. I was acting kind of like a boy, for lack of better. I mean, I was... breaking shit. I was like rough housing. I was unable to function in the classroom. And then we went and got my IQ looked at.
Oh, she's really smart. She just can't. So I was on Ritalin since I was five. And now I'm not. Wow. Isn't that crazy?
It is crazy. I hear that and I'm like, that sounds like me. I don't know what it means because I bet you can focus on things that you enjoy.
See, yes, I can. Right. But writing is really hard.
Writing is hard for everybody. That's why no one's a writer.
Right. But I'm a writer. But I've been on amphetamines since I was five. I don't remember a time being off of them. If I haven't been sick or in bed somewhere in the hospital, like really sick, I've been taking one of these drugs. I mean, Vyvanse is what I was most recently taking. So as an ambitious person, it's been tough for me to be pregnant. But I don't know what of it is the pregnancy.
Because you're not amphetamines. I don't know. I don't know. What of it is the pregnancy? What of it is no amphetamines? What of it is no nicotine? Because, I mean, I can't wait to go back to nicotine.
Cigarettes or pouches?
Pouches. I like gum in pouches.
So let me get this straight. So you're young. You're real energetic. You don't want to sit still in class. But are you interested in some things? Like, do you focus on some things in your life?
Yeah, probably. I was really into outside and bugs and reptiles. Right.
And when you're around those things, did you focus?
Probably. I mean, I don't remember that well.
Yeah, that's why I don't know what this is, because every time someone talks about ADHD and people want to insist that it's an actual pathology, that's an actual issue. And I'm always like, boy, I don't know, because I think it's a superpower. Yeah.
So for me, I've just decided to view it like, okay, I'm not taking this. They told me you can take the medication while you're pregnant, but we just don't know what an effect it'll have. I'm like, well, I'm not comfortable with that. So I quit it. I quit nicotine, quit everything. But I just try to view it as an experiment.
I've never been off of these drugs, and I'm going to try being off of these drugs. Doing the most simple task to me feels like I'm doing it through mud. It's really hard for me. Yes, it's really hard. But one thing that I think I'm going to... After I give birth, I'm going to go back to it to some extent. But I don't want to use it on stage anymore.
Because I feel like I've been better on stage without amphetamines.
Well, I know people that do... I've never done amphetamines. I've never done Adderall. I've never done Coke. I'm scared of them. But a buddy of mine who had done Adderall and then gone on stage said it was terrible. He was never smiling. He was all serious when he was up there. He said it was awful.
Yeah. To me, it... I guess I feel normal, but I've never really been off of it. Like, it was never really my decision. It was never my decision to go on it.
So what makes you think that you're better on stage off of it?
Because one of my root issues is impulse control, which is a problem. And everywhere but a stage, right? Because if you're not thinking too much, then you're going to be better on stage, I think. So I think I don't get as nervous. I'm not thinking as much about what if I say this. I just I've already said it.
Right.
And on a stage, that's the best place for that. That's the one place where you can really do that. It's going to be OK.
Right.
So I still the writing is tough. Doing laundry is tough. Being emotionally stable is tough. But my husband is a very patient man. I also don't know what of that is the pregnancy. Right. I am not sure.
Right. Is your first one? It's my first one. Yeah. So there's lots going on.
There's a lot going on. But it's like, I'm so messed up because I've done these. The amphetamines were so long that let's just say if something doesn't go well, I'm like, it would have been better if I was on Vyvanse. So it's like, you know, because I don't know. But it's, you know, but I just don't know because I've heard from what I've heard.
If you're pregnant, that can make you a little crazy, too.
I'm sure. Right. I mean, your hormones are going crazy. You got a little person growing inside your body.
It's so weird. And I know so much going on. It's the most normal thing ever. I get that. Like everybody does it. That's why we're all here. But I've never done it. To me, it's wild. I don't think it's normal.
It's weird. It only happens every now and again. It only happens to one half of the population.
Yes.
And it's the reason why life is here. And it's treated as if it's not that big of a deal.
Yeah, it really is.
And it's one of the main focuses in this election is whether or not you can kill the baby. I'm sorry to say it that way. I mean, I'm not in any way trying to take away someone's right to choose. I'm not that guy.
But I'm just saying what it actually is, is you're deciding whether or not someone should be able to tell you whether you could terminate the baby that's inside of you that's going to become a person.
Well, yeah, I think that's obviously, I mean, I'm pro-choice. I just don't think the government should be involved in it at all.
I don't think so either.
And I think that there's all these, there's so many different levels to it, right? Like my husband and I, we froze embryos years ago. So I have nine frozen kids too.
Yo, you got kids just waiting to be thawed out.
But those are like, those are just a couple cells that are in a freezer. Whatever.
Who knows what's in there?
I mean... Who knows what's in the embryo? Really? So you think I should have all of them?
I don't know what's in there. I don't know. I mean, what if every embryo is a life? And not just a life, but a soul. And a soul waiting to emerge. Like, once you've done the deed... I'm not that guy. I'm not this religious... No, I don't think you are. I'm not this guy. But I'm just... Let's put it out there.
Yeah.
Like, what the fuck is that if that thing can become a person? You put it in your body... Thaws out, whatever. I don't know the process. Yeah, I don't really either.
I don't really either. I just kind of did it.
All of a sudden it's a person? Like you're storing people in like a lab somewhere? And do they have memory of being stored? Do we have long-term data about the trauma of being a frozen embryo for 10 years? Do we have any idea whether or not it has any effect on the human being? How long have they been doing this? What's the long-term data on what kind of a person comes out of fraud?
What if it's making a bunch of sociopaths?
I feel like we've done it enough time, IVF, right?
Do you really think they've studied it? Looked at the personalities of the people? Whether or not they have weird dreams about being stuck in a freezer?
Well, sociopaths come from sex, too. From sex? No, like the babies that come from sex can grow up to be sociopaths. How do the babies come out of the other way? IVF. IVF, there's IVF and then there's the sex way.
So you're saying that all the babies that are sociopaths come from sex?
No, I'm saying that some of them do. Any baby could be a sociopath. Yes. Which is why I waited so long to have kids and I'm terrified because also what if it's like a few degrees below a sociopath and my kid just sucks?
I don't think you have to worry about that.
My kid's the one that shows up and everyone's like, ah, shit.
You know, so-and-so's kids here. Do your best. I don't think you really have to worry about that. The reason why I brought that up is because Ted Kaczynski, when he was young, there was something wrong with him, some sort of medical condition. And they brought him to some hospital where he received no touch, no physical touch for like a long period of time, like months and months.
Yeah.
And his brother who turned him in, his brother who read the Unabomber's manifesto and realized, like, I know how this guy's talking. My brother's a genius and a real psycho. And this is my brother. And so he turned him in and that's how they caught the Unabomber.
But he attributes one of the things that's wrong with his brother with the time where he was a baby where he received no touch and no love. And that it just fucked with his head. And I wonder... Those little embryos just sit in a freezer somewhere. I don't think so.
I don't know either.
I don't think so.
I don't know either. I don't think so.
Religion thinks that the soul enters the body on the 48th day, right? Is that what it is?
I think every religion's different. I think there's some people who are really socially conservative religious that are opposed to IVF in general because embryos are discarded or they die and that kind of a thing. Right.
Yeah, I've heard that as an argument against what Donald Trump has been saying about paying for IVF.
Right.
We need more babies. And everybody's like, yay. And then the psychos went, no, no, no. 70% of all IVF babies are never used and they're discarded. And like, okay.
Yeah. And in my dumb ass, I just talk about it all.
I'm like, I have nine frozen, blah, blah, blah. Listen, you're just being transparent. I think that's a strong quality.
Well, thank you. I get to be into trouble sometimes, but it's much less stressful than the alternative of having to worry about things being uncovered that I've been hiding from people. I mean, a lot of times those are the creepiest people. Oh, for sure. The people that are, everything's great, everything's perfect. It's like for sure.
Yeah. Well, also, I've always found that the people that want to control other people most likely are out of control of some aspect of themselves.
OK.
If I see men that are like really invested in telling women what to do and controlling what some weird thing that I was reading about people wanting to monitor employees periods.
Yeah. Yeah. There was a concern about that. Right. Where if I don't again, this is there was a concern about I don't know if it was ever really a thing, but it was a concern about it happening potentially where if abortion was illegal, they could get data from these these apps that track your period. Right.
And I have one because it now tracks my it tells me like your baby's the size of a pomegranate this week. And I'm like, oh, that's so cute. Right. But if let's say I it was telling me all that and I like miss my period, then it could be watching me to see if I was obtaining an abortion pill online or something like that. Right. If my period was.
Which is crazy also because miscarriage is some of the most emotionally devastating things for women. And then to be accused of killing your baby.
Exactly.
After a miscarriage because the app. The app read wrong.
The app read wrong. The app saw that you missed your period.
The app decided that you should be investigated in this time of insane sorrow.
Yeah. Well, we have no privacy. And it's one of the scariest, biggest issues for me. It's a giant issue. It's just how many things between banks and the government be able to look at. They were never supposed to be able to look at all the things that they're looking at.
Right.
And that's why people have to be concerned about it.
stuff like well in two separate occasions I've had private text messages that were publicly available because of trials yeah so I'm telling one of them was Alex Jones and I were texting about something yeah and they wanted every text that Alex Jones and I had ever sent each other yeah I'm like, well, okay, why? Because it was all about the Sandy Hook thing.
And the only text that they found was there was some crazy story, and I sent it to him, and I said, is this true? That's it. That's the extent of our discussion. But that got read in court, and then it got printed online. And I was like, wow, that's crazy. That a private communication between people all of a sudden not just gets read in court, but also gets distributed on the news.
Mm-hmm. That's my nightmare, is having my private text messages.
Good luck with my memes folder. My fucking memes folder is chaos.
That's my nightmare. I mean, the things I text to people, every time that happens, when people's texts get public, I'm more horrified that the texts get public than most of whatever's in the messages. It's such an invasion. It's such a violation.
It also doesn't take into account shit-talking.
Exactly.
Which is a huge factor, especially with people like us. You say funny things to your friends that you don't really mean.
Sometimes you're just doing a bit.
Yes. All the time. Half of the texts that I go back and forth with comedian friends are just nonsense.
Exactly. A lot of times you're just doing a bit. It's something between friends. And if you could see so many of my group chats, if you could see with comedians, with people, you could see what we're saying. I mean, it'd be horrible. It'd be over for me. I'd have to start a new life under a new name. But why?
It wouldn't. It wouldn't. Because I think people are done with that horse shit. They think it's stupid. They really do.
It is stupid. But I think more people think it's stupid, but fewer people will admit they think it's stupid because they're worried about it.
Well, that's true, too. And also, there's a lot of people that just love to watch people get fucked over. They really do. And they cheer it on. They cheer it on. They get excited about it.
I think it's people who, I mean, I'm always more interested in examining that. There's this thing now where it's people are trying to cancel people over things that they said or tweeted or posted when they were 13 years old. Well, I can help you with that. It's real simple. But they've never reached their potential that they thought they would reach.
100%.
50%?
50% of men are not having sex.
Something bonkers. Because people are just online. If you have a shit job, you know that Call of Duty is waiting. And all you have to do is put those headphones on and sit in front of that computer and now life is exciting.
Maybe. I dated a Call of Duty guy once. It's a little triggering for me. And I was in my early 20s. I'm like young and beautiful and sitting there. And then he's like on his video. And I married a man who fought in an actual war. So that was much better for me. I'm like, that's good.
You'll learn from that. You don't learn anything from the video.
Yeah, exactly. I would hate my husband if he didn't go to war, actually, because he was he's, you know, like a good man from a good family who was, you know, had a good upbringing and went to boarding school. And I'm like, if he didn't have any the trauma of the war, I wouldn't like him. That's funny.
Right. Well, I think people going through things definitely makes them stronger. The rise of sexless men, sexless and single men, a third. Wow. So it's a third. I thought it was half.
But that's still alarming.
A third of men aren't having sex. And here's why. The last decade alone, we see the number of sexless men between ages 18 and 30 increased by 253%. That's nuts. Yeah. Wow. It's just skyrocketing. Yeah. Not good.
And then there's good.
So those are the people that are mad at you.
Those are the people that are in my Instagram. Like, we feel bad for your husband. You're disgusting. Yeah. Oh, I mean, it's funny. It's come across it sometimes, but I don't.
It's good to not read.
Yeah. It's better not to.
But it's 100 percent. But it's better not to. There's no benefit in reading even the good stuff.
You know, the good stuff you never, you're like, okay.
Yeah, don't read it.
But sometimes I get, you know, emails that they make me laugh. I mean, sometimes I see things that make me laugh.
Yeah, occasionally, but it's not worth the ones that don't.
Yeah, no, I hear you.
It's like, if you ate...
like gas station trail mix and every now and then there was a fentanyl in one no i probably is at this point but you know if you had like 10 bags of trail mix and every now and then one of them gives you a pill that puts you in a fucking coma no you would stop eating trail mix no i hear what you're saying it's hard i recently posted a video where i responded to hate tweets or whatever and i made my team go find them i was like will you guys go find the funny ones because i don't want to look at all of them
Oh, that's better. Yeah, because you don't want to go down a spiral finding only people who hate you. And when you're dealing with something like Fox News, you're dealing with numbers. I mean, the numbers of human beings that see you on TV all the time are huge. And then the numbers of deranged people that also think the country is falling apart and they're super tribal.
You know, they want you to be all in with Trump. Yes. All in. And if you're not all in, they're ready to put the duct tape and the fucking zip ties in the truck and head out the door.
It would be so much easier for me to just be all in.
I know people who give in. I know people who do it kind of disingenuously, give in on purpose.
Well, I would, I mean, I do well, right? I sell out shows. I'd sell out all the shows and faster. If you were all MAGA? I would sell more books. I mean, the platform that I'm on every single night, the people who are watching are MAGA people. And so if I were, you know, if money was the thing I was the most after, I would be an idiot. Maybe I am an idiot. I don't think you would. I can't do it.
I can't do it.
The thing is, it would change who you are.
Exactly. I can't do it.
It would ruin what got you to the dance.
Yeah.
That's that's the problem. It's like you're opinionated. You like to have fun. You like to be impulsive and say crazy shit off the cuff.
Yeah.
If you're only thinking about appeasing one certain group, that power goes away.
Right. Yeah. Yeah. I just couldn't do I just I couldn't. I mean, again, if you actually are super MAGA and you love Trump and you're one of those people, then good for you. I have no judgment of that. That's fine. Live your life. Have fun. But can you please be OK with the fact that I'm not the way that I'm OK with you?
Did you see the Amazon Alexa when they asked Alexa why you should vote for Trump or why you should vote for Biden?
No, I didn't. What happened? It's crazy. What happened?
It's so crazy.
What happened?
Jamie, I can send it to you or you might be able to find it. It is so nuts what Amazon's, what Alexa's response is, the difference between- I'm sure there's a vast, yes. There's a grand canyon between the two of them. Yeah. Do you have it or you want me to get it? Hold on. What is this?
Amazon's elected different responses about voting Donald Trump versus Kamala Harris were an error that it has fixed.
Of course. Listen, it's not an error. Yeah, of course it's not.
It's not an error because they literally asked the exact same questions about Obama and or excuse me, about Trump and about Kamala. The exact same questions. I'm sorry, I'm distracted because I'm trying to look for it while I'm talking.
Why should I vote for Donald Trump? I cannot provide content that promotes a specific political party.
Oh, I think I did see this. Watch this.
Alexa, why should I vote for Kamala Harris? While there are many reasons to vote for common parents, the most significant may be that she is a strong candidate with a proven track record of accomplishment.
As the first female Vice President Harris has already broken down a major gender barrier and her career in politics has been characterized by a commitment to progressive ideals and a focus on helping disenfranchised communities.
So just woke propaganda straight from Alexa. Just listen to the language being used. The glass ceiling.
Yeah.
Aggressive ideas.
It's not surprising. And of course, the Kamala is completely just an idea that's been manufactured. It's been amazing. It's been so insane to watch. I mean, the Joe Biden thing, I think, is a perfect example.
The fact that that went on for so long is a perfect example of the how the the you know, the part is the hyper partisanship allows things to happen because Joe was very clearly not OK for a while.
I mean, anybody who was watching that and just seeing it, if that's your grandpa, if that were my grandpa, my grandpa's almost 90, so he's got like 10 years on the guy, I'd be like, Papa, we need to go to the hospital. You're not okay. But that became a Republican thing to say. So people weren't saying it until they couldn't possibly hide it anymore. Right.
Right.
So I think that's a perfect example of how partisanship leads to some really stupid shit. But I was actually shocked they threw her in there. And just right before that, people were saying worst vice president ever. Obviously, you know, not popular now. Now she's you know, she's brat. Like that's Charlie XCX is trying to make it cool. It's like she's a DA. She locked people up for cocaine.
She's not for weed. She's not brat. It's just been so crazy to watch. People are so excited and they don't even know what they're excited about.
It's just gaslighting on an industrial level.
Of course.
Like a production machine level where you're like, wow, look at this thing work. This is nuts. It's like watching a car get put together by robots. Like, whoa.
Yeah. yeah and people get really mad people get mad at me for working at I mean even in my personal life for working at Fox News people are like how could you work I'm like what do you mean
Did you see where they compared the differences in her speech in Detroit versus her speech in Pittsburgh?
Yeah.
We need to watch this. First of all, what's fascinating is if I was in her court, if I was working with her, I would say, listen, listen, listen. First of all, nothing off the cuff.
Yeah.
Nothing off the cuff ever. No interviews ever. Speeches never. Yeah, teleprompter only. We're busy. We're busy trying to fix the world. We don't have time for interviews. I'd say no interviews. Because interviews are when things go sideways. So like CNN was 41 minutes. They edited it down to 18 and all of it sucked.
18 minutes of nothing. Yeah, I want to see the rest.
Also, like the difference between the way they probe J.D. Vance versus the way they probe her and Walt. So listen, Kamala in Detroit versus Kamala in Pittsburgh, literally five hours apart.
You're number five.
Unbelievable.
You better thank a union member for vacation time.
Thank unions for paying family leave.
Thank unions for your vacation time. You better thank a union member.
It's so embarrassing, too. It would be one thing if she did that all the time. Right, of course. She's got the ability to talk like that if she enjoys it.
Sure.
She wants to talk a little shit. Yeah. That's how she's doing it, but... It seems like it's all this construct. Of course it is. You ever been to Universal in Hollywood where they shoot TV shows and you go down the street and it's these facades that look like a city street. But behind them is just a bunch of boards holding up the front of the building. There's no house. Yeah.
That's what this is like.
Yeah, it's exactly what it's like. And I still have no idea. She could win.
She could totally win. I know a lot of people that think it's a good idea to vote for her. Yeah, so do I. I was watching Ben Stiller with his fucking eyes glazed over just talking about how great she's going to be. I was like, this is fascinating.
Yeah.
And I get it. It's the lesser of two evils in their eyes. That's what they're looking at. But boy, you should not be happy with this. Nothing about you should be excited about what they've done to you because they've tricked you into talking about something in a very positive way that you just recently didn't talk about in a positive way.
And there was nothing that happened that changed that person.
It was nothing that she did. She hadn't even spoken at all for several days. And people are like, Kamala, Kamala. I mean, the cover of the Time magazine without an interview is crazy. I mean, I'm so jealous. I can't. After I give birth, I'm going to just have my husband bring me a pack of Zins. Immediately. Nicotine's the best for writing, for working, for everything.
It's great for a lot of things. It's just the delivery methods.
problematic? I had a problem with vaping for a while. It was bad. I'd be in public with multiple vapes and I was like, Kat, you can't. You can't be doing that.
Those are so addictive.
They're so addictive. I was one of the first vapers. I quit for... I'm serious. I quit.
My buddy Adam has one of them robot things.
I did. Lunchboxes. I had a laboratory in my house. He was like, I was seeing all my liquids.
What is the benefit of having a big box vape?
It just rips harder. I used to love to blow fat clouds. I had to get a dental procedure done, something super minor, whatever. I couldn't vape for 24 hours. I put so many nicotine patches on my body and I still didn't even feel anything. It should have killed me or at least made me throw up. And I was like, ugh. And then I still kept vaping.
I eventually, when I quit vaping and I was using pouches to help me quit vaping, And I was using 12 milligram pouches. I try those. I can't do it.
I start hiccuping.
I have to put them away.
Oh, yeah. Most people. I almost have a fucking heart attack.
Most decent people, which is why I'm saying I had a problem and I quit. Now I got down to six and now zero, obviously, because of this baby.
I like threes.
Yeah, I can't wait. I want to get six. I can't wait. I'm going to be in that hospital bed. I'm going to be like... Like, I can't wait. But you can't because it'll get in the milk. That's what I... Can you pump and dump, right?
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Okay, I'm gonna try to breastfeed, okay? Oh, you should definitely breastfeed. I know I should, but it's like I've already had nine months of no nicotine. That's the thing that's the hardest for me.
Yeah, but once you've kicked it, you should probably try to keep it off.
No, I think about nicotine every day. Like every day.
Were you ever a cigarette smoker?
In college I smoked when I drank and in college I drank a lot because I was in college.
And so then vaping comes along when?
Vaping comes along probably so when I was like mid-twenties and I did it for eight years.
Whoa. So do you start with like regular vapes that you buy at the gas station and move your way up to robots?
I started with the blue cigs and then they just weren't hitting hard enough for me anymore. I was ripping multiple blue cigs and then I love the jewel. I love I mean, so there's these things in Detroit called breezes. I don't know if you can get them other places, but I know you can get them, and I'm from the Detroit area.
And I was having, I don't know, this is illegal, so I probably shouldn't say this, but my brother may have been sending shipments in to me, you know, when they were illegal in New York, because the breezes were the best. Why were they illegal in New York?
For a while, well, they weren't sold in New York, but for a while there was supposed to be, the jewels, rather, the jewels were illegal in New York. And then we weren't sure about what was going to be legal in New York. Do you remember that, when they made jewel pods illegal?
I don't because I don't think they ever became illegal in California, but they did make them. The mango ones. Flavored ones are illegal, which is hilarious.
And that was my shit. The mango jewel. When you get a fresh one and it makes that crackling sound. And honestly, if I found a mango jewel pod somewhere in my house, I would have. I don't know. Not when I'm pregnant. That's the thing that sucks is like, I love this baby so much that I've not even met yet. That's wonderful. Nothing. It's like so real commitment.
I know, but it's so weird for my brand to love this. I never thought I'd have kids. I never thought I never wanted to. And then I now I'm like, my baby's the size of a cucumber.
You know, you're doing the right thing by not feeding it jewels.
Of course.
I think so.
Of course. But I'm going to go back.
You have to go back in your mind. Yes. Wow.
I'm a better, both my books I wrote on nicotine. I had nicotine gum in my, I just want to like have something in my jaw.
What is the side effects that they think can happen to kids?
Like premature birth, I think.
Oh, boy.
Really bad stuff. Oh, bad ones. Really bad ones.
And is that from smoking or is that from nicotine itself?
I think nicotine. I mean, I'm really limited. I mean, I can't, it's like, you can't really do stimulants when you're pregnant. You can't do anything when you're pregnant. I can have 200 milligrams of caffeine a day.
So is being off of caffeine hard or is it being, you can have 200 milligrams of caffeine a day. So is the being off the stimulus, is that the hardest or is that's harder than nicotine?
See, I don't know. Cause I've always done them together.
And so did you have to wean yourself off or did you go cold turkey as soon as you knew that?
I had to go cold turkey. Wow. Yeah. So what was that like? I was a bitch. For how long? A couple weeks. It was really rough. Wow.
Because... Because you have to sort of like... Your equilibrium has to come back.
Yeah. Well, I had a doctor tell me that I probably couldn't get pregnant without medication. That if I took medication, I would have a 10% chance of getting pregnant. Naturally, as they say. The sex way. I was just living my life. And then I didn't feel good. And then I took a test and I was like, here we go. And we wanted kids. We were planning on starting IVF.
And so I just quit everything cold turkey at once.
Wow. And so was it immediately hard or was it hard right away? First day, you're like, oh my God, where's my speed?
I would go to the gym, and I'd come back, and I'd put a nicotine pouch in. I mean, I really like nicotine a lot.
Wow.
I used to be vaping on airplanes, which is... Oh, my God.
It's so illegal.
It's so illegal.
Did you, like, do it in your hood?
I would bring a blanket with me on the plane, and I would sit underneath it like a psycho. Thank you. Like a psycho. But they're like, you know, what are they going to do? They can't be like, ma'am, you're not allowed to be under a blanket. I mean, I looked like a mentally ill, like, Pete, they're probably watching me.
Oh, no, no, because I would also hold it in as long as I could to get the biggest rush. I would hold my breath. I'm telling you, this was bad. I've never seen anybody as bad on it as I was, which is why I can never try crack because my life would be over in three days. I would love crack.
It seems like most people do.
Yeah, they do.
It seems to be a problem. Anybody's doing a little crack every now and then.
I mean, I couldn't handle the nicotine vapes. So crack, probably not. But again, yeah. So when did you move to robots? I moved to robots after the Juul became illegal. And I couldn't get the mango. So I was trying to get the same rip I could get off of Juul.
So you were being like a chemist. You were going and mixing oils.
I always mix that. And it was like stick. And they would explode and be sticky everywhere. And sometimes it would explode in your mouth. And you get that like...
My friend Adam Curry uses a robot. He's got that robot lunchbox type thing. And he says it's better. Because he says, first of all, you know what's in there. Because if you're buying them, they're making them in Vietnam in some sweatshop somewhere. Have you ever seen those factories where they test them all? Some guy sucks on every one of them. This one poor guy.
I would have loved that job. I would leave my life behind. It moves you. You mean I can just rip vapes all day?
Yeah, but you have to live in Shanghai.
Yeah.
Yeah, and this fucking dude.
I was doing that job for free.
This dude is just sucking on these things. I mean, I don't know where they make them. He's an Asian fellow, but he just keeps hitting them. He just has to check every one of them, make sure they blow smoke. She's grabbing them off the assembly line. Oh, yeah. Putting them in these boxes. Yeah. So he's just... Mainlining nicotine all day long and whatever those oils are.
That's the thing is I mainly felt like if I get lung cancer, I will feel stupid. You know, I'll be like, how could I possibly have thought I could get away with doing all this and not have something bad happen?
Well, is there better oils that those things that like when my friend Adam, you know, Adam Curry is the original podfather. He's the guy.
I know. I know who he is.
Yeah, he's the best. But he has those things and he was trying to convince me that those things are OK. And the whole thing. The whole thing about vapes being bad was just like the tobacco companies and a bunch of shenanigans. And I was like, hmm. I'm paraphrasing. I'm not giving you the full story.
But his argument was that those robot lunchbox type vapes, those big fat boys, at least you know what's in there. Like, you know where you're getting your oils. Like, you can get different quality and caliber of nicotine oils.
Yeah, I was. Well, I mean, I believe there's a lot of studies that show it is way better than cigarettes. But it's also the way that I've used cigarettes. I can still, when I go to Europe, again, not when I'm pregnant, but I can still go to Europe and smoke cigarettes only in Europe and come back and not smoke cigarettes. And there's immediate downsides to cigarettes. You got to go outside.
You smell bad. I was smoking the vape, hitting the vape when I was in the hospital. I had a near-death experience in 2020. Do you know about my shit? I had a shit bag. No. What happened? I know you're jacked, but you're not squeamish, right? No. Okay. So I had a bowel perforation. I had really bad stomach pains.
And I went to the hospital, and they told me I needed an ileostomy, which is a shit bag. They take your small intestine, they pull it out of your stomach, and you have a bag. So I had to have that surgery in November of 2020. And I was in the hospital, and I was ripping the vape for sure. Oh, my God. I have my intestine hanging out of my body, and I'm ripping a vape.
I had it for about five weeks, and I didn't tell anybody. I wrote about it in my first book, and that's how everybody kind of found out that that had happened to me. And it was bad. It was really, really rough.
and then i got it reversed that's good i got it reversed but i had complications oh that's not so i had complications where i was gushing blood on my ass there's a loose staple and i needed a transfusion guess which day that was that i had that bad thing happen what day january 6th oh my god like that january the january 6th oh my god and i didn't talk publicly about this for a long time so whenever i was on the news like people would ask me it comes up a lot
And, like, I'd be thinking about... You. Yes. Yeah, you almost died. You're bleeding out of your butt. Literally, I will never forget this. I've never talked about this before, actually, this specific thing. I will never forget this. On January 6th, I'm all doped up, right? If you have stuff like that, they'll let you have a Dilaudid drip. I'm, like, all doped up. Whee!
Yeah, I tweeted or I posted on Facebook, tweeted, whatever, posted something along the lines of... This is actually my personal Facebook. It's shared, too. And it was like, the news is stressful, turning on a Ted Bundy documentary to relax, something like that.
And I looked at my personal Facebook and some dude who I knew from doing open mics in Baltimore had commented like, oh, are you stressed out about, you know, basically that like that you did this, you know, because I work at Fox that I did. And I'm sitting there on a bucket. in a hospital with blood gushing out of my ass.
And this dude that I did open mics with eight years ago is trying to tell me that he's having a bad day.
Well, he's trying to shame you. He's trying to blame you for this insurrection attempt, what he perceives to be.
Right, which again, I was in the hospital having, you know, I would say I had a worse January 6th than a lot of people.
I would say so.
Right? I mean, I'm just reading that.
Ashley Babbitt probably had the worst.
The worst, yes. Absolutely. Absolutely.
But here's what's fucked. It's exactly what we were talking about with comments. Who's that guy? That's a guy who's a failure.
Some dude, exactly.
Who you started out open mics and he remembers and now you're successful and he's not. And he's like, yeah, you caused the fucking collapse of democracy with your jokes.
I did.
from this bucket where literally the most humbling probably moment of my life where I was like I am a fragile fragile human being right there's some crazy lady next to me too she was some lady she was like 90 years old and you know she thought that they want to give her potassium supplements so she was talking out loud about how they're trying to poison her with something I had her comment because we were all watching the January 6th it was on in the hospital
we were all kind of watching it together and she was like well everybody loved trump at first and now they don't and she was like everybody those are all russians at the capitol and i was like and i'm sitting there on my bucket like a foot away from this woman and i'm like like i'm like she's talking to me asking her questions i was i would have given up on any idea of a real conversation there's not this is not a real conversation you're not talking with this woman no you can't get frustrated those aren't russians
they're probably feds yeah okay you don't even know like hey lady i just remember being like totally yeah you gotta you gotta ask her questions like what have you read what have you read that brought to those conclusions i don't think she knew what she'd read but she was told me she's speaking very matter-of-factly like oh yeah people love to do that yeah but well also probably they're giving her potassium supplements probably because her fucking brain is shutting down
She was really old.
Yeah, and probably not doing so well health-wise. They're giving her potassium supplements. That's what they're trying to say. Hey, your electrolyte balance is off. Nothing's firing correctly. You got real problems. She's probably cramping up.
Yeah, the hospital was a bad... I mean, it's always a bad... It's like a bad hang. It's horrible.
But if you can talk to someone really dumb, who's really into something politically, you can get kind of insight.
well i had the when i was in the hospital for my first surgery there was this lady who was like she was farting really loud and then she was singing she was like giving glory to god for her farts that she was oh boy so i was turning up my forensic files as loud as i could just like cranking it up and she asked me if i could turn it down and i already had this is the day of my first i'd already been having like the worst day of my life so i was like how the fuck could you ask me to but then we wound up talking all night like and i have her number on my phone still because
Because when you're in a hospital and I was by myself because this was during COVID and in New York, my husband was allowed. He could come visit for I could have two visitors a day, maximum two people for maximum two hours and not past 6 p.m. So I was scared. I had this near death experience and then complications on the reversal. I was alone the entire time.
And you need, I mean, and again, I'm lucky because I lived through it, right? There's people who died, obviously. It was just so horrible and scary to do that by myself. And also, hospitals, you need an advocate. Because I was so doped up. They weren't like, my sheets weren't being washed as much as they should have been. I couldn't do, you know, it's just like you need someone.
Somebody needs to look out for you. Hey, she needs, you know, she's, hey. Yeah. Yeah.
Hospital workers like everybody else. Some of them are really good and some suck. And also, it's just it's weird to be alone like that. Like, there's no reason why you should have had to have been alone.
No.
If it's OK for someone to sit with you, that should be fine. Why couldn't he stay? Yeah. I mean, I've had family members in the hospital before. You just sit next to him and read a book and they feel comfortable. Someone that they love is there. Yeah. Makes them feel better.
I had my insides hanging out of my body.
You should have somebody with you. Two hours is nuts. Why?
But again, you're already letting him in. Does it get worse in the night that he can't stay past 6 p.m.? Because also he had work, but he still obviously came to see me every day. But he couldn't come for very long, and he had to leave. And I was there by myself, and it was so scary. And there was no benefit to it. It was just because of COVID.
Oh, that's why. How dumb is that?
But that doesn't make sense because if he had COVID, it'd already be in there. Two fucking hours. From the two hours he was in there.
Plenty of time to give it to you.
Yeah. Yeah. That's so stupid. They told me, I will never forget that. When I woke up from the first surgery, they came in and they told me that they had good news and that I tested negative for COVID. Oh my God. I was like, I don't fucking care. My small intestine is hanging out of my stomach.
I didn't even test for it anymore.
No, they don't.
My daughter had a pretty loud cold or cough and they brought it to the hospital. I was telling my wife, she's probably got the vid. It's going around. She goes, no, she's got a nasal infection. And I said, did they test for COVID? She's like, no.
No.
I'm like, they didn't even test? If this was two years ago, they would 100% immediately test you for COVID. But yet they're still talking about COVID. And they don't even test kids for it.
I tested myself. I had it in July. And I tested myself only because I'm pregnant. And I wanted to know what to expect. And I got really sick because my immune system is trash. Again, because of this baby. No nicotine. Can't fight off illnesses.
Are you doing anything to supplement your vitamins?
I'm doing just prenatals, probiotics. That's it. Prenatals? Yeah. What is that? A company sells prenatal vitamins? A company sells prenatal vitamins.
That's it?
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I eat food now a lot more than I used to. I used to be chewing nicotine gum all day. It doesn't make you hungry. It doesn't make you hungry.
supposed to be some real benefits to nutritional supplementation or your your baby is being born inside of you like like or being created inside of you like maybe possibly go into a place to get your blood work drawn yeah finding like what nutrients you're deficient in and it could really help you i should i should do stuff like that we're gonna help you
I mean, it's all just simple, basic, natural stuff like vitamin C and vitamin D and vitamin K2 and all that stuff, but your body really extra needs that. You're making a little human.
I know, and it's the weirdest thing. I can only imagine. I mean, again, I didn't used to be someone who ate. I eat all day now. I mean, I eat food at night. I used to not eat all day. You were on speed. Of course. Of course. But I was also nicotine gum all day. I always nicotine gum.
My friends have quit cigarettes. That's the first thing they say. They get fat.
Yeah.
They immediately start gaining weight because nicotine is really essentially kind of a speed, too. It's a little bit of a stimulant. I was so much. And an appetite suppressant.
So I was, yes. But I was honestly so used to the amphetamines. So I was on Vyvanse, which is slow release. Adderall, I don't like. I was on Adderall briefly, and it was too much for me. I was jittery. I was anxious. I was, no, I won't do Adderall. And the Vyvanse is slow release. It doesn't make me feel... So when I first went off of it, yes, I ate... I gained like 10 pounds in six weeks, right?
But now I feel like I'm just as hungry as I was... when I was on Adderall without the nicotine. Because I got so used to it. So I wasn't ever really getting this like, which Adderall I did get that from.
How's that go?
Like your skull. And I didn't like that. I didn't like it.
How long did you do it for?
So I did it because my insurance didn't cover Vyvanse back when I lived in D.C. So I was like, I need something, right?
Did you get street Adderall?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not doing that. Certainly not. Only doctors. My drug dealers are all actual doctors. I was like, okay, I'll do Adderall. How much different can it be? And it was bad. And if I ever forgot to take it, I was walking in a wall. I couldn't. I was sleeping. I couldn't do it. Wow. I couldn't do it. So then I just found coupons somewhere. My doctor helped me up.
I was like, I will sacrifice in other areas to afford the Vyvanse because I don't know how people take this. Adderall, I couldn't do.
So you took it for how many months?
A couple months. A couple months? Yeah.
And- What doses were they giving you?
Probably 30.
Is that a lot, Jamie? That's the one you're saying was a lot? The other day it was 20, so that's like... Someone was talking about 20? Yeah.
I've taken Metadate. I've taken, again, I was... I'm one of those... When they say, like, study the kids who were put on Ritalin when they were five, you're looking at one. Like, this is me. I mean, I was on... And it's, you know, it is harder. It is really a lot harder for me to live and do basic shit. But it's been interesting.
That's Henry Rollins' story, too. Yeah. They put him on Ritalin when he was five years old as well. And he said, like, he'd be just fucking all day at school, just gritting his teeth.
Yeah.
All his energy just buzzed up on speed.
See, I didn't feel like that. You didn't feel like that? Except the Adderall. I can't. That's not for me. Adderall's not for me. I won't do Adderall.
Well, I know a lot of people that really love it and they're all kind of out of control. They're just a little bit off the rails.
Oh, if I take Adderall, I thought I forgot. I remember I forgot my Vyvanse one time and I took someone's Adderall like this was a few years ago. And immediately I'm texting everyone on my phone like, am I going to be okay? Tell me I'm okay.
Like are you mad?
That's not I like I I'm Exhausting enough to be around as a person just naturally. I don't need I don't need to add her all adding to the problem You know, I felt like I've the world's collapsing around me.
That's not a good feeling It's just nuts how many doctors prescribe that stuff Mm-hmm, and and how many people are on it? What was it 39 million? Is that what it was prescriptions last year? Oh Something kooky like that. It's probably more than that because I think that was actually 2021 now that I think about it. So it's probably way more than that now.
Yeah. I mean, I was one of the first and I think I will. I think I will go back. But then I'm like, maybe I should try just nicotine. But a doctor probably wouldn't recommend that. But what do they know?
Yeah, most doctors are not going to recommend nicotine ever.
Right. I'm a better person because of nicotine. And I know that's not popular. That's not for the kids. They're listening. But I don't know. Whenever I'm writing, sometimes I'll be like, I need to get a sentence perfect.
when i'm writing i'll spend hours sometimes on a single sentence if i think it's a really important sentence and i'll be like i don't know i don't know and then i'll put a put a zin in or put nicotine and then i will get it have you ever tried other nootropics um yeah i mean i'm just nicotine i mean yes but but have you ever tried the things like um you ever heard of neuro gum you know what neuro no not that we have some over here in that blue bag right there
NeuroGum is... I don't have anything to do with this company, by the way. Just something I like. NeuroGum is gum that has theanine in it and caffeine, and it enhances brain function.
Yeah, I've tried a theanine before.
And then there's some other stuff that you can get. We sell something at Onnit called AlphaBrain, and there's AlphaBrain, then AlphaBrain Black Label, which is like the more potent version. That stuff's very legit. Really helps memory, really helps. We did... Back in the day when we first put it out, a lot of people were like, this is fucking snake oil. So, well, okay, let's find out.
Because there's studies, but there's no real, like, let's find out, let's get something definitive. So we did two double-blind placebo-controlled studies at the Boston Center for Memory, where they found increase in... Increase in verbal memory, so your ability to recall words. Increase in reaction time. Increase in alpha flow state.
So there was a bunch of recognizable benefits at a dose that was lower than what I was taking. It was like half what I was taking. I think the dose was two pills, and I'd do four. A lot of times when I'm getting crazy, I'll do six.
If I have something important.
Like if I have a UFC, UFCs require six pills. Yeah. It's six hours. I'm sitting down there for six hours. I bring snacks and I drink monsters and I have alpha brain.
Yeah.
And I fucking lock it in.
I am excited to start to own my body again and be able to take whatever I want.
But you should try some other stuff that doesn't like there's some other stuff that will give you benefits but doesn't give you that weird feeling. You know, that accelerated feeling.
I don't like that. Because I'm anxious enough as it is. I'm actually a very anxious person.
I have a friend whose daughter was on ADHD medication. And she was getting off of it. And he started giving her AlphaBrain.
Okay.
And he said it helped her tremendously.
I actually never thought I could go off of it. Like, I actually... That was one of my concerns in terms of actually getting pregnant. That you were going to be like that for the rest of your life. When I went off of it, I mean... I was like, I'm in it now, baby.
You seem totally fine, coherent. You're talking very quickly. You're not exhausted, right? No, I'm not exhausted. This is you.
Yeah.
This is actually you.
Right.
You want to go back to speed you.
I do. That's kind of crazy that that's an option. Because I could have walked out of here no matter what and be like, I'd have been so much better if I would have been. That's so crazy. Maybe you wouldn't. Maybe we wouldn't connect as well. I don't know because it's so weird because I feel like I'm getting to meet myself.
But also it's not really myself because of the pregnancy because this is pregnant me. But then I kind of am curious to stay off of it a little longer when I'm not pregnant just to see.
I think you should.
Yeah.
You seem like a wonderful person off of it.
So you're my primary care physician now.
You seem like a wonderful person off of it. I don't think you need it. I think everybody would like to be a little bit more productive, especially if you're a creative type, if you're a writer, if you're doing things. You'd like to be a little bit more productive. But there's no biological free lunch. Yeah.
And there's probably going to be some sort of long-term damage to a lifetime of stimulating your system. I know a lot of people that did a lot of coke in the 1970s, and they're all fucked up. A lot of them died with neurological conditions.
Oh, yeah. Coke is... I have no interest in cocaine.
I just wonder, it's a difference between doing coke five nights a week for a few hours a night versus a pill that you're taking every fucking day that jacks your system up. Who knows if you're going to blow a fuse over time? Like, who knows?
Oh, I've definitely considered that. I've definitely considered that. For me, it was just that there was I had I didn't function off of it. So I didn't try.
Now, what about have you ever tried new vigil or pro vigil?
I was on pro vigil briefly, but I was I forget why I went on pro vigil instead of everything else. But it was oh, I was diagnosed briefly. I've never talked about this with narcolepsy, but I don't think I really have it. Did you fall asleep? I fell asleep a lot in the sleep study, but this was also in college. And I smoked a lot of weed in college.
So I really think I might have just been like had a stone over.
Oh my God, that's hilarious.
And they said, you got normal epilepsy, take some pills. i've never i've never talked about this and i've actually kind of just remembered it but yeah and i couldn't stay awake for the sleep studies they were like she's got narcolepsy no one was ever like hey are you taking bong reps why are you so sleepy cat oh my god which i think that must have been why looking back
The fact that I was taking that many bong rips. And again, I graduated at the top of my class. I was very studious. At college, I smoked a lot of weed. Yeah, you were probably sleepy. I was sleepy. That's so crazy. I might have smoked the afternoon before.
How crazy is it that that's all the requirement they have to give you a drug? They're like, she looks pretty sleepy right now. You look pretty sleepy. You must have narcolepsy. Not you're tired. Not are you staying up all night. Do you have a lot going on at your house? Are you not getting any sleep? Now you do. No, you have narcolepsy.
Here, take a pill. I would have told them the truth. Nobody ever asked me.
They didn't ask because they don't give a fuck. They just want to give you a pill. They want to give you a pill.
Yeah, I get that.
The more they prescribe, the more money they make. Let's go. And they're like, you need Provigil. You're like, okay.
And then I took it, and then I stopped taking it, and I went back to, I think, Metadate, which is another stimulant. Wow.
ProVigil doesn't seem like a stimulant. Did it seem like it for you?
No, it wasn't.
And then there's NuVigil. NuVigil's another version of it. I don't know what the difference is, but they both seem to work the same way. I used to take it if I had to drive. Like if I was in San Diego and I did a gig and I'm like, it's 11 o'clock, show's over, I could be home in my bed at 2 in the morning.
Yeah.
Latest, you know? It's not really a three-hour drive unless there's traffic.
Right.
But you know how it is if you're driving in the road and it's late at night. I don't drive. Okay.
Anymore. I miss it.
When I would be on the road and I was... Is it because of narcolepsy?
No, it's... No, it's because I haven't in 10 years, so I'm not sure I remember how. My husband is like, you need to learn. You know what I make this poor man do, or I have made him do the past five years? So I have a cat that is, he's now 14 years old. He is a dick. He's got a lot of health issues, but I won't let him die. I won't let him die because he's my best friend, blah, blah, blah. Right.
But we can't find anyone to watch him. We can't board him at the vet over Christmas. So since I met my husband, going on six years now, I've made him drive me and the cat home to my father's house. Where's your father's house? Detroit area.
Oh, my God. That's like 18 hours.
With the cat. How far is it in the car? It's like 12 hours with the cat. Oh, my God. So it's like you drive all that time. And when you get there, you're in Detroit. Oh, my God. So a lot of people are like, he's the lucky guy. And it's like, no, he's not. He's a saint.
It all works out. I'm sure he's happy.
He is happy. It's fine.
It's not that big a deal. You're in a car for 18 hours. Just get zen about it.
For a cat. That's not even a nice cat. Like, he bites. That's a problem. He needs daily medication.
Can you, like, hire a friend to stay at your place? Ugh.
This, that. Sorry. You did just make a very reasonable suggestion. For a normal cat, but this cat will like, he is feral. Was he an actual feral cat? Yeah. So I was dating my college boyfriend living out in LA and I was like, I moved in with him non-consensually. That's a whole nother story. I got into Columbia, couldn't afford it.
So I decided to stay in LA and keep interning, waiting tables, doing comedy. And we were fighting a lot because we shouldn't have been together. Yeah. So he got me. He's a great friend of mine now, actually. But he brought me this cat as like a bandaid on the relationship that he just found in North Hollywood, basically. Oh, wow. That was like dying and sick. And this has been like my.
Feral cats are weird. They never really get unferal. No, they don't. Feral dogs can eventually become dogs again. I've seen it happen. They usually have like a fear of people, but they eventually calm down. Like people that have gotten like stray dogs. I had a stray dog off the street.
Yeah.
And I had a stray cat. And that stray cat, I was the only one that could pick that motherfucker up. I was the only one who could pet him. Everybody else, he would come near him. He'd hiss at you and take a swing at you and run away.
When my husband and I went on our honeymoon, I hired a vet to stay at the house.
Oh, that's hilarious.
And my sister, I had her stay there too because he likes my sister. But he likes, he finally likes my husband now. And it took what, like five years? That's crazy. But like, he's like, I'm driving. He's like, every year he's like, I'm driving. Because every year I'm like, this will be the last year. Probably. Yeah.
Cats live like 18 years old though.
But this cat has had serious health problems for years. Four years requiring multiple daily medications that I have to administer. Because not just anybody can come stay with the cat because they have to administer the medication, which is a hazardous activity for the average person.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Because you have to do the syringe in the mouth. Oh, fuck. So I hold him. He'll let me do it. Oh, my God. That's so crazy. I won't, as I said, I won't let him, like, I won't. Why don't you just let him go? He's probably miserable. Because he's stable on the medication. He's happy to see me when I'm home. Like, he misses me. So, like, he's.
Okay. I get it.
I get it. Now, talk to me a bit. The thing is, if I'm being honest with myself, even if that weren't the answer, I might still have a hard time. Yeah. It's hard. Yeah.
Losing a pet is very hard. You're so connected to them.
Yeah.
They're like your baby forever. Well, I went through everything.
Like, Marshall's seven. Yeah.
But he's my baby.
Yeah. Yeah.
He's a baby boy. He'll always be a baby boy.
Well, I mean, when I got this cat, I was a cashier at Boston Market.
My life has changed. Yeah, and this cat's been with you the whole ride.
For everything. For everything.
I get it. I get it.
And he sucks. I objectively like...
Nobody's like, he's here, you know? Have you seen that chimp crazy thing on Netflix yet?
No.
Okay, it's about that lady that kept a chimp and the chimp ripped apart a friend. You know that story? No. I've heard it's by the same people that did Tiger King, right? I've heard it's fucking insane. They say it's way better than Tiger King. They say it's nuts.
Okay, I should watch this. I was really into Jane Goodall as a child.
I love Jane Goodall. Jane Goodall's odd, though. Oh, of course.
She believes in Bigfoot. She was, I thought it was so cool when I was little how she was like, you know what? I don't want to be part of your society. I'm going to go live among the chimpanzees. I was like, you can do that? Yeah, chip crazy. This lady.
This lady, like it's apparently, we can't really, can we play the trailer? We'll get in trouble. Okay. So that is the chimp that... Well, the thing about chimps is when they're little, you can kind of tell them what to do because they're little. They're babies. They listen to you. But then when they get to be a certain age, that's a grown adult alpha primate.
Yeah.
They're not listening to you. They'll rip your fucking nose off.
Yeah.
They don't care. And they also have like this very strong sense of fairness.
Okay.
Like one of the chimps...
there's one this guy that had a pet chimp they had for many many years then he got older and it was too difficult to control and so they brought it to a chimp sanctuary and so he goes to visit the chimp on the day of the chimp's birthday and brought him a cake like they could still visit the chimp okay they bring him a cake but the other chimps are jealous that they don't get a cake and someone had left the door open so the chimps come out attack this guy rip him to pieces
Rip his hands off. Rip his dick off. Rip his face off. They ripped his dick off? They go for everything that makes you a person. They tear your fingers off. They tear your eyeballs out. They're not even trying to kill you. They're trying to maim you. Yeah. They do some vicious, evil, horrible shit.
Like that's a crime of passion. That's not, yeah.
And they do it because they are mad at you. It's a different thing than, like, a wolf. Yeah. A wolf's not necessarily mad at you. It wants to eat you. Right. A chimpanzee wants to tear you apart because it's mad at you.
Because you didn't bring them a cake. Yeah, you didn't give them a cake. That's fucking wild.
Yeah, so you're dealing with, like, a low-level intelligence and jealousy, pettiness, like, sense of fairness, and then all this, like, alpha primate shit that comes with chimpanzees in general, and then you got them captive because... So they're basically prisoners. So they're in this cage. They have nothing fun all day. And someone shows up with a keg like, where's my fucking keg?
Where's my fucking keg? And then they just get out and tear this guy apart.
Yeah. Horrible. I feel like a lot of that was hidden from me as a child. Although when I gave a presentation on Jane Goodall in school, there was like a box set of two VHS tapes. And one was like the happy part. And then like VHS 2 was like, I don't remember what was in it, but it was like something graphic and bad that happened to the chimps. To Jane Goodall? No to the chimps like something.
I don't remember what it was killed them. I don't remember it might have been diseases I don't remember what it was all I remember is that the school called my mom because I brought in the wrong one and I was like I Called your mom.
Yeah brought in something that you didn't produce that was about chimpanzee, but I like shared it and it was like a disturbing I don't remember what it exactly was they gonna learn I
Yeah.
God forbid the kids learn something that disturbs them.
I was in trouble all the time in school. But how nutty is that thought?
Yeah. It's a real true thing. Don't you teach about the Holocaust? Like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Don't you teach about Pearl Harbor and Hiroshima? Yeah. Terrible things have happened. Yeah, that's true. Are you going to not teach about them because they're disturbing? I agree. I agree. That's so ridiculous.
I was also, you know, teachers always had it up. I was always in trouble. So it was like, oh, look at her. There's a yearbook where there's a picture of the principal in the yearbook, and I'm in the picture. Because you got in trouble? Because I'm always in trouble.
Yeah, but isn't it interesting that you, now becoming a successful person and doing stand-up, you would see someone like that and go, oh, you're just in the wrong job. Like someone's trying to put you at a job at an office somewhere, and that's really not for you.
I could never work in a normal office. I never have. I've worked as a waitress and I was a bad one, but sure.
And there's a lot of people out there that say I could never be a standup comedian.
Right? Yeah. And I, I started doing standup cause I needed to do standup. I mean, back when I was in LA and I was, my life was just going to shit. The boyfriend who got me the cat broke up with me. It was shocking. And then I moved into this shitty apartment in a shitty neighborhood. I was still waiting tables, doing comedy. And then I lost. I didn't have enough money for that apartment.
So I had to move in with this bartender I was sort of kind of seeing from my California pizza kitchen job. But not like really. I was like, just because I need to live here doesn't mean we're together. Together it was a mess. Yeah. I had no car. I was like riding the bus. I got scabies from the bus. Like it was it was a bad it was a dark time. Right.
And but I would get on stage and I would talk about it. Right. And that made me feel some sense of power over the things that were making me feel powerless. And I was like, oh, I really like this. I could make fun of this shit and people would be laughing.
You know, I would talk about about how broke I was and people would be laughing and I'd be like, oh, I'm created something out of something that I felt it was going to destroy me.
Yes, and it's the classic story. That's the marvelous Mrs. Maisel story. That's the Lenny Bruce story. It's the classic story. People going on stage and going, what the fuck is wrong with my life? And you're like, hey, I think I'm onto something.
Yeah, it really was a mess. But then I kept being gravitated toward that. I mean, even the shitbag thing. So Jim Norton, who I love dearly. As do I. God, he's great. He's the best. He's the best. I did his radio show after the first book came out talking about my shit bag. And he was like, you know, Kat, he's like, as a human being, I'm really sorry that happened to you.
But as a comedian, I'm jealous. And I do have a lot of material from that, you know, because a lot of people doesn't happen to.
I'm sure. I'm sure.
And I think it's so much better to have that. People say it's like, oh, it's not like that. It's so much better to have that than to let your trauma define you and try to lord it over other people. Like, you can't say this thing because this thing happened to me. No, that's not.
But you can do that. Some people just don't have that same psychological makeup, which is my original point is that there's a lot of people out there that shouldn't be doing regular jobs and just giving them Ritalin. I don't think it's the answer. Like if you're saying that you can go outside, you can play with bugs and lizards and shit and you're fascinated.
Loved it.
That's what normal people are supposed to be doing. It's so abnormal to be sitting in a room with artificial light at a desk where you're not supposed to move talking about shit that's not interesting to you. That's normal for a kid to rebel against something like that.
I was a hellion, though. I mean, I got like I didn't want to do math and I started chanting like no more math. I got on the table like I got in trouble for inciting a riot is what they said. And my dad was like, she's six years old. I was a disaster. You were fun. I was fucking fun. That's the thing. I was invited to everybody's birthday, but they wanted me there at least. You know what I mean?
I'm still fun. I'm a fun person. It's not a bad thing.
It's just the problem is the environment of schools is terrible for kids. Kids have a lot of fucking issues.
energy but I needed school I was valedictorian in my high school there were 10 of us so it was everybody who had a 4.0 but I needed to do well at school because I knew my parents couldn't afford to send me away to college so I'm kind of like if I wouldn't have been on these drugs what I have been able to do well enough at school because I'm not getting a sports scholarship
Or maybe I would have just gone straight to college. I don't know. But I had to study. I had to be good at school in order to have the success that I did, at least academically. But then after I graduated from college where I got a full scholarship, I obviously couldn't afford grad school.
But listen, I'm hearing you talk right now and you're not on stimulants. You're obviously very smart. So why are you saying that you couldn't have gotten a 4.0 unless you're on stimulants? I don't believe it.
I don't know. I feel like I might not have gotten.
First of all, we don't know.
We don't know.
Because you've always been on them. But you're not on them. But you're not on them right now.
Yeah.
And right now you're very sharp.
You know what's funny is there's people in my real life who have known me for decades who have not had an in-person conversation with me off stimulus. People I've known my whole life who, you know, still. That's crazy. You're meeting me for the first time.
But you're very sharp and you're very fast. You don't seem like you're slowed down at all.
Yeah, I was worried that I would be.
Okay, but maybe that's just in your head. Maybe. And maybe you would have gotten a 4.0 either way because you're fucking smart. And maybe all that does is give you speed and you're like, you keep going. Maybe you would have been more introspective if you weren't on them. Maybe you would look at things slightly differently.
Maybe you'd have a more balanced and nuanced take if you weren't on fucking diesel fuel. In elementary school? With a fire burning inside your head.
I never thought I'd even consider not taking them any day or every day. I never thought I would consider that, especially even at the beginning of my pregnancy. But that was also the first trimester, which I was exhausted because I was pregnant. I was like, I can't do anything.
So when you went in, you were exhausted at first and then you were on speed as well.
So I was off speed and pregnant and off nicotine all at the same time.
No, but when you found out that you were pregnant, it was because you weren't feeling well, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. While you were on speed. Yeah, I was still tired.
Yeah, exactly. That's true. So that's why I was like, I'm still, I don't feel good.
I think you're just a fast-paced person. And I'm not necessarily sure. I'm not a psychiatrist.
No, of course not. Don't listen to me. Well, you are my primary care physician. I'm going to write your name down.
I know you're going to get right back on. As soon as you can.
At least to write, I probably will.
But that's what I'm saying. Like, are you sure?
Yeah. So at least to write, I probably will.
But nicotine or speed?
I don't know. That's what I'm saying. The fact that I'm even still, I think both, because I'll still have days where I really struggle and I forget things and I lose things. And I'll have this whole plan with my husband. And then I'm like, oh, this shit, this is the wrong day.
That's what most people do. That's normal. Not to this extent. I bet it is. It's normal to be a little scatterbrained. I'm more than a little scatterbrained. I know, but you're fine. So like if I was like, if I was an ethical doctor.
This is water, right?
No, that's coffee.
This is coffee? This is water right here.
All right, cool. If I was in, that's actually poor for me.
There we go, great, great. See, I can't have coffee. That's too much.
200 milligrams a day is all you can have?
I had like already an Americano today.
If I was an ethical doctor and you came into my office and there was no financial incentive for me to prescribe medication to you, I'd say, you're fine. What's wrong with you, Kat? Do you know how many people would like kill or take a medication to be in the state of mind that you're at all the time? Like the way you can talk and how coherent you are and how articulate you are and fast paced.
Your thinking is very quick. You don't need anything. This is all in your head, but you can't write bullshit. That's not true. It's just different because you're not high. You're not speeded up fucking smashing keys. You still can write. You don't need a medication because writing is complicated. I'm not saying you shouldn't take it.
I'm not saying you shouldn't have the ability to as long as you're not fucking up your baby after all that breastfeeding stuff's done. But the point is, I think this whole I need it stuff is nonsense.
Well, I've started to think that I at least might not go back to doing it every single day. Because I was doing it every, every, every day, truly, except if I was in the hospital.
Well, wouldn't it be nice to be able to go on a vacation and not have to take speed?
Yeah, it sucks to take speed at the beach. It's not fun to be at the pool.
I get how it's been good for you. It's been good to you. You've enjoyed, you've reaped its benefits. But I don't think you need it. I mean, for you to be here right now, sober, in the state you're at, you're as sharp as most people that I talk to. You're on the ball.
Yeah. But I'm going to be like, would I have been better if I was on the pool? Right, but that's crazy talk. Of course, but it's my whole... That's how people stay on heroin. That's my whole life. I was at my first communion on amphetamines.
Oh, my God. That's so nuts.
Like, think about all the childhood, you know, events.
Well, maybe this baby will be an awesome reset for that. Maybe at the end of the nine months. you'll have a completely different perspective. You've been off of it so long. You realize like, wow, it's actually better.
And I think about nicotine every day. I don't think about the medication every day. So I think I'll definitely go back to nicotine. Maybe I'll use it sometimes. Maybe not every day. I'm definitely not.
That's what you say next to your two-fisted names. I know. You had the big lunchboxes. Strawberry. Lemonade.
It was great mixing the flavors and all that other shit.
So what is in the oil? What is the best? I should probably call Adam and ask him. But what is the best oil for vapes that's not as bad for you?
I don't remember.
How would we Google this? I don't remember it. How would we Google this? Is there a difference in the harm that certain vape chemicals can do? And is there a healthy version of that?
So there is, and this is, I know there's one that's really bad, and that was when kids were getting their lungs exploded or whatever. Well, there's two kids died, right? So, but that, I did research on this.
I spoke to somebody who, for an article, I wrote an article for National Review about this, who said that she would be surprised if that chemical was in the nicotine vapes at all, because it's pretty much only necessary with THC, and that it was only in like black market THC vapes, basically. That's what I had heard too.
There was two different people had gotten some really tainted THC vapes and died.
Yeah, which vaping THC in general is just like, that's not, you never, it's so, that's my most boomer opinion that I have is the weed's too strong. It certainly can be. It's so strong. When people are like, hey, you want to, no, because I don't know what's in that.
The vape is like, who made that?
Yeah.
Who put that together?
Yeah.
Who's the chemist? What bathtub does this get fucking cooked up in?
Yeah.
At least if you're getting the actual cannabis plant, you know what it is. Right. It's strong or it's not strong. You figure that out, you're going to be fine. You're...
you're vaping you don't know where the fuck that's coming from no a few years ago I was out with my friend and I hit his weed pen and I couldn't feel my legs I was like I mentally felt not high which is like the opposite I was going I mean I wanted to feel my legs and I wanted to be high and I'm like okay I'm like I don't know what to do I have to leave and I couldn't feel my legs and then I got back to my apartment and then I felt completely fine and I'm like so it was just temporary paralysis yeah
And I'm like, I have no idea what was in that. And I've never, ever, ever hit a vape weed pen ever again. And I don't think I will.
You don't want to be the person that winds up in the news.
I thought you were going to say you don't want to be the person that has to go home.
No, you don't want to be the person that winds up in the news because your legs stop working because you smoked some fucking gas station vape pen.
And I have to tell everyone that I smoked a fucking... How'd you lose your legs? You know, there's people in the amputation unit that have been to war or whatever.
I went to Quickie Mart and I got a vape pen.
I ripped a bootleg weed vape pen. I was trying to get high.
Is there any benefit to the kind of oils that they use in the homemade robot type vapes?
Googling it just brings up a bunch of websites that are trying to sell me stuff. But what I gather from those is that they're all saying you want something that doesn't have nicotine in it, which is a little strange.
That's what we want.
Then you want to add pharmaceutical grade nicotine. So that might be where the problems come in. and cheap nicotine additives or something like that.
But what is that word? Dicetyl? Dicetyl-free? I saw that a few places. Dicetyl? I don't know. Dicetyl. Am I saying it right?
Vegetable glycerin and propylene glycol.
Okay. Go back up again. Go back up again. It says the safest e-juice ratio is one that has less propylene glycol. If your vaporizer allows it, try to use 100% vegetable glycerin e-juice.
I don't know if that's true. What is that?
These are not from any great sources.
Right, but when they're saying vegetable oil, are we talking about what kind of vegetables? Yeah. What's in that? Is it seed oils?
Yeah, everything says PG or VG mix, and that's what that means is the vegetable glycerin.
Right, but what is that vegetable glycerin made out of? Is that made out of canola oil? What is it made out of?
I don't know.
Because I know someone was making it with MCT oil and they were trying to tell me this is the safe version. Some dude with a robot.
And I love, I mean, listen.
I've got MCT oil in my vapes.
If I found out that, I mean, I don't think it's totally healthy or I would be doing it. I mean, if I found out I was dying, I'd be going to vape immediately.
Here it says VG is generally recognized as safe by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. But hold on a second. As VG is vegetable-based, there's a much lower toxicity than PG, so that's propylene glycol, or nicotine. So it's safe to use in e-liquids for vaping. Of course, though, like many things, there's a potential for allergic reaction. But what's it made out of? Vegetable glycerin.
What is vegetable glycerin made out of? Google that. I just want to know what they're using. Like, what plants? What vegetables? Clear otosweetening liquid made from the vegetable oils such as palm, soy, or coconut. Okay, palm, terrible for you. Soy, terrible for you. Coconut, not bad. Coconut's good for you.
So it's like, depending upon what kind of oil you get, you're spraying the inside of your lungs with some shit that's generally not good for consumption. Like, palm oil's supposed to be bad for consumption. Canola oil's bad for consumption. It causes inflammation. Vegetable glycerin is made by heating triglyceride-rich vegetable fats under pressure or with a strong alkali such as lye.
That's the shit that they use to get rid of bodies.
Isn't that how you liquefy?
Yeah, lye is nasty. It's like how people would straighten their hair out, too.
That stuff was on yesterday, the castor. Uh-huh. Was it beaver stacks or something?
Right, right, right.
It's a flavoring in cigarettes I was finding.
Oh, my God. I was trying to figure out which cigarette to use it, but... Chris Harris was telling us that he drank this alcohol that they didn't tell him what was in it. It was a shot, and inside the shot was an essence of beaver. Okay. And it turns out it's a secretion from the beaver's anal gland.
Ew.
And it was in his mouth for 10 days. He couldn't get the taste of it out of his mouth.
But why do you drink that?
He didn't know what it was.
Well, of course.
He was on that show Top Gear. Okay. And, you know, he's traveling in some other country. Look, this is one of the local things, and he drank this, and... It stayed in his mouth for 10 days.
If there was like benefits, I'd get it. There's no benefits.
It's a flavor that they add in liquor.
Cinnamon or vanilla hints.
But we saw it with the vodka, right? They had beaver caster vodka. So what is MCT oil in vapes? Google MCT oil in vapes. See if that's legit. Because this guy was trying to, which is essentially like coconut oils and stuff like that. Is it MCT medium? Yes. Yes.
So this thing says it's trying to find any heating triglyceride-rich vegetable fats.
Right. But see if someone does it, if they're trying to promote it as a healthy alternative to normal vape oils. MCT oil in... in vapes.
The very first thing that came up was from Weed Maps. It says, occasionally vaping MCTO may or may not be harmful to the lungs. That's so helpful.
Let's just keep it on the vague side, kids.
But I feel like also people who say that it's fine, I mean, they're probably really addicted to it, which I get because I've been there. I've been there. It's the best. If I was dying,
aerosolized and inhaled MCT oil can be harmful to respiratory health Michigan's banning them Michigan's banning them but okay when you hear Michigan's banning them I go okay but did another industry tell Michigan that they're bad so they can sell their fucking bullshit oil vapes like there's so much fuckery going on with all this stuff especially these unregulated things yeah There it goes.
It can cause lipid pneumonia. Oh, boy. That's not good.
Oils.
When heated and inhaled, oils can cause lipid pneumonia, a serious lung condition. Yeah, I knew a family in California, and their kid got pneumonia. He was vaping every day, and he wound up dying.
Really?
He was 19 years old. Oh, shit. Yeah, apparently he was just vaping constantly.
Six years ago. The current articles show that MCT oil combined with CBD has increased health benefits.
Yeah.
It says even. I don't know. It's very tough.
It's so hard to know what's true and what's not true. It's just so much fuckery.
Yeah, you have no idea.
It's so hard to know.
And I actually was a person who trusted doctors more than COVID happened. And it's like, I don't know how you do.
I know.
I don't know how you do. I mean, I know it was years. I'm still not over it.
Well, there's just too many doctors that have a financial interest in following whatever the company line is. And with certain things, they're not allowed to prescribe medications because those medications aren't as profitable as the ones that they're promoted to prescribe.
I wanted to bring this up since we don't know. I was going to bring it up earlier while you were talking about it. This says that nicotine replacement therapy could be okay during pregnancy.
Well, it's safer, but it's safer than smoking. There's no way I'm ripping darts while I'm pregnant. I think that's for people who are going to be ripping. They're like, listen, rather than smoking cigs, have nicotine gum.
That's such a dude thing to say because dudes can have kids. Jamie's like, well, that's what he says. It's fine.
And my husband, he still vapes. So he still vapes and it's, you know, but I'm like, I'm, you know, I can rub that in his face a little bit that I quit, but definitely.
Oh, my friend Duncan, here's a good story. My friend Duncan has diabetes. He has the kind of get it from diet. He's a thin guy and I found out he was feeling like shit, found out he has diabetes. Like, wow, this is fucking crazy. So cut sugar out of his life. All of a sudden diabetes goes away. Feels incredible. It was like, I can't believe how much energy I had.
Oh my God, I was poisoning myself all day. And then, you know, he has this like glucose monitor thing. And the glucose monitor thing is kind of his glucose is too high. And he's trying to figure out what it is. It's vaping because all those flavored vapes have sugar in them. So every time he's taken a vape off this gas station bullshit. Diabetes from vaping. He's probably got diabetes from vaping.
That's crazy. Sugar as well, but he's vaping all day. So he's pumping the sugar into his system, and so he realized after he cut all the sugar out that his sugar levels would go crazy, and it was because of vaping. So as soon as he stopped that, it went all normalized.
well sugar is crazy crazy i've gotten into sugar a little bit which sounds insane to say but i never like now that i'm pregnant it's like what dopamine is there available for you not that much so i'll get dessert but i feel like i i got a pumpkin spice frappuccino last weekend okay the smallest one available it's 12 ounces i drank this thing i immediately i was like we have to go home i don't feel good i laid on the couch and i slept for three hours
Right, if you're not used to it. That's a coffee?
Mm-hmm.
I know. I was so sick, and I've gotten into it. Last night I was at dinner, I was like, should I get dessert? He was like, well, every time you do, and then you're really sick, so maybe.
Have you seen the blizzard? When that guy takes the blizzard from Dunkin' Donuts, and he puts it next to a clear cup to show you how much sugar. No, it's that drink, that frozen coffee drink. Yeah. And that frozen coffee drink has so much sugar, and he puts the clear cup next to it so you can see how much sugar. It's 183 grams of sugar. Is that right? There's a lot.
Yeah, Dunkin' Donuts Blizzard.
That's what it is.
Oh, it is?
What's the Dunkin' Donuts one called?
It's like a frozen pumpkin swirl thing. It has videos on the screen.
Okay, so this is it. It says Dunkin' Donuts. It doesn't say what the thing is, but it's some kind of a sugary coffee type beverage. That's so gross. Sorry, Derek Green, for tainting the name of your wonderful blizzards.
Which I'm sure has no sugar in it.
That guy's showing you all the sugar that's in that thing. That's so insane to take that much sugar in a drink.
But people do it all the time.
Look at that stack of sugar cubes. That is so bananas. That's 181. So it's 34 teaspoons or 51.5 cubes of sugar. Holy Jesus. It's a giant drink though too, yeah. Yeah, but it's also got ice in it.
Yeah.
If you get rid of all that ice, how much of it is all sugar? It's like you're just drinking sugar and ice. And you see people walking around with those.
And I'm like, where are you going? To the hospital for diabetes. Because I couldn't be going anywhere after having that. So, like, are you drinking this? It's afternoon right now.
Well, people get used to the sugar. And then the sugar doesn't make them crash as much.
Yeah.
Because I don't do that. But if I do, like, if I have, like, a milkshake, I'll be like, oh.
Yeah.
Like it hits me because I don't eat it all the time.
Yeah.
But some people eat it all day long and they just their body just gets accustomed to it. Just like alcohol.
Alcoholics. Yes. It's very similar. It's very similar.
It's a real addiction. Sugar is a real addiction.
Yeah.
And it's everywhere. It's in everything. It's in so many different foods that it doesn't need to be in. But it makes more addictive.
I know, and I think it's so interesting with all the things I'm advised to do. They don't really say, like, oh, you shouldn't have a bunch of – I'm sure that's bad. I'm sure it's bad. I'm sure it's terrible to have a bunch of dessert.
Yeah, you should be eating organic food.
Eating healthy food.
You should be eating really healthy, essential fatty acids, eating lots of salmon and things along those lines. But, yeah, nobody cares about that. Nobody talks to you about sugar.
No, they don't. They're like, don't have sushi, don't have turkey, don't have – I had him tested for toxoplasmosis. He doesn't have it? He doesn't have it. Oh, that's crazy. Which I was so like... I mean, I thought for sure if he had it, I would have it. Right. Because he sleeps under my chin every night. Oh, yeah. But I actually... We also have a very expensive litter box.
We have a robot that... One of those? It's called the... No, it's called the Litter Robot. I've seen those. Do you know that it not only self-cleans, it sends data to my phone in real time. So every time he uses the litter box, I get an alert on my phone letting me know how much he weighs... Yeah, because I used to have to weigh him myself to monitor.
Because basically if he gets overweight, he gets diabetes, he's going down. He has cardiomyopathy, he has, which is a heart thing.
If I was your husband, I'd be sneaking food. I'd be giving that cat ice cream.
He's so patient. I'm like, I don't know how. He's like, the cat's not even a nice cat. I'm like, I know, but he has herpes too, the cat. Oh, boy. Which I was really good. It's a respiratory thing in cats. Because the first time, I was confused at first too. The vet called me and told me, and I was like, but he's a virgin. And they were like, okay.
It's like they pick it up as kittens, and it causes them to get a cold that comes and goes. Oh, okay. So he takes a medication called Viralis. He takes that one also.
How often does he take that?
Every day, mix into his food. He has a probiotic mix into his food.
If you didn't give it to them, what would happen? Every now and then he'd get a blister?
No, it's not. It's respiratory. He sneezes and coughs. How bad? Enough where it was like on the pillow in the morning, like gross. Oh. Yeah, gross. Gross. I was like, oh, it's just herpes. Get on the pills, you fuckhead. But then he also, he takes steroids every day too.
Oh, boy.
And a heart medication. Oh, boy. I know. That's a lot. I know. Listen, but I would keep him on. The thing is, if you could do a ventilator, I would. Would you clone him? The thing is, no, because he sucks. You know what I mean?
But would he suck if you had him from a baby?
I don't know.
Maybe it wouldn't suck. Maybe it wouldn't suck if you had him as a kid.
If he didn't have all the trauma. Yeah.
I guarantee that's there's a switch that goes in those feral cats that never really shuts off.
No.
It's weird. It's a weird switch because like it exists in certain animals. Like there's when they go feral, they just never come back. There's just a giant difference between like domesticated, certain domesticated animals and feral. Cats are the best example because feral cats are so different. Domesticated cats are wonderful. Like, hey, little buddy. They sit in your lap.
They touch your legs and go up like this, up and down with their little claws.
It's cute. He'll do that, but then he'll just bite you.
Like, he'll decide something pisses him off. Like I said, I had a feral cat. He used to do that, too. But the difference between that and an actual cat in the wild is profound. They know no one's looking out for them, and that switch has already gone off. They're not being taken care of. But if you took care of them from the time he was a baby, it'd be interesting. Maybe he'd be a good cat.
Maybe. I don't know.
Would you be willing to do that? To clone him? Or would you think some Pet Sematary shit would go down?
Oh, no, not that. I think it'd just be so hard. Because what I love about him is all the shit we went through. Oh, okay. Right. He's part of your history. He was with me through everything. Right. And, you know, from, you know... He's going through all that shit in L.A., and then he lived with me in D.C., which is a horrible place, and then New York and everything. So he's symbolic.
It's the time in my life. I dedicated my first book to him, him and Joan Rivers. It was him and Joan Rivers, neither of whom can read this.
That's who I dedicated it to. Joan Rivers has my favorite conspiracy theory, the real kooks.
believe that they took out Joan Rivers when she said Michelle Obama was a man yes that conspiracy people are like look at this video look at this video she says this and then what happens it's so funny those those fucking the really loony conspiracy people oh they're hilarious they're so there's so much entertainment in that that's one of my favorite ones
Oh, that's... Joan Rivers... She was 80 years old and she was getting plastic surgery.
Yes, plastic surgery. I know.
For, like, the 80th time. Like, that shit is so bad for you.
I know.
Getting put under is so bad for you.
I know.
And when you're 80, it's so dangerous.
But it's probably addictive to get all that shit done. I mean, I've not had plastic surgery, but when I get old, I might want to. Like, I might want to get, like, a facelift.
Well, I think in the future you won't have to do that. I think they'll have an ability to regenerate skin tissue and make your skin much healthier. For sure, they're already doing these things where they microneedle your face and cover your face with exosomes.
I've done that. That I've done.
That has a significant impact. Red light therapy has a significant impact in your skin elasticity and your collagen. But I think in the future they're going to be able to regenerate tissue. And I think they're pretty close to that. I don't think you're going to need to get your fucking lizard face up.
I mean, I'll do it though.
You know what creeps me out though? When women get a mouth that's too big.
Yeah.
They get Joker face because their fucking face is being pulled sideways. So they have a smile and they always show some gum.
I know. I think it's addictive. I think you get like a little bit more and a little bit more and you don't realize how crazy you start to look.
Well, it's for sure body dysmorphia. It's the same as people who have anorexia, the same as people who are bodybuilders who think they're tiny. People have a propensity to develop, at least certain people do, this kind of disease where you don't see yourself as other people see you. Right. And it can get real weird if you start doing stuff to your face. Yeah.
Like we played a video compilation of these two brothers. I don't know what they do. They're famous for some reason, but super handsome when they're young. Like handsome, good looking, like model. Looked like model. And as they got older, they started shooting shit in their face. And then they became like Pinwheel from Saw.
Yeah.
The whole thing is like super bizarre. And if you see the madness take place like over the years, like here – So this is what they look like now. But let me show you what they used to look like when they were young. Why do they?
Yeah, that's.
They're just good looking guys. See if you can find a video of the guy over the years, because the video over the years is wild because you get to see his face moving, you know, and you see him and you go, oh, it's like a good looking guy, like good looking, normal guy. Yeah. So this is them when they're already fucked up.
Right.
But this is them when they're younger. Go back to that real quick. Look at that.
They're good looking.
Good looking guys.
Very good looking. Like genetic lottery type shit.
Yeah, like model type.
Like right there.
Great looking guy. And now look at them. They look insane. Yeah. Instead of just looking like an old, like Kevin Costner, just an older, handsome man.
You know, it's also like, so I like, you know, and I'm very proud of having been on TV for 10 years. I have my original lips. I have my original teeth, which is like a big deal. People get like the big, there's a lot of bad veneers going around, like a lot of really bad.
There's probably a lot of good ones though.
Of course. But I like, so my mom died. It'll be 10 years in November. I like that I kind of look like her. If I fucked up my face too much, I probably wouldn't look like her anymore. I like to look like myself. Yeah, that's a good thing. But I don't know. You always think maybe a little bit and people go more and more and more.
It's a dangerous road. And when actresses do it, it fucks up their career.
I think it does.
Well, it does for some because they go away because they don't look like the same person anymore.
Exactly.
Like the girl from Dirty Dancing?
Jennifer Grey? I've never seen Dirty Dancing. What? I've never seen any movies. The only movies I've ever seen is I watch Happy Gilmore over and over again.
You don't see any movies other than Happy Gilmore?
So I've seen Billy Madison. How much Adderall were you doing when you watched Happy Gilmore? No, I've seen, I just, movies are long.
Okay.
So I don't, I mean, but I've seen.
So she got her nose fixed. This is like her older, but when she was younger, she had this very prominent nose and then she got it fixed and like she was unrecognizable.
It's cool to look different from everybody else in some way.
Yeah, but the problem is when everybody knows you as the person who looks like that, like Barbra Streisand. If Barbra Streisand got a nose job, it would be crazy. What are you doing? You're not Barbra Streisand anymore. We love the old you. That's what we like. We don't want you doing that. That's nuts. You're changing the shape of your nose, and it's really obvious.
Yeah, I do recognize her.
It's crazy when dudes do it. Like politician dudes. And all of a sudden they got that frozen forehead.
Wasn't that Matt Gaetz?
All of a sudden he's got the eyebrows are up and his forehead's not moving.
He looked really Real Housewives. Yeah, like, hey, bro.
You just looked different three weeks ago.
You can't do that. Who told you you should do that?
Yeah, I don't know. Why are you scared of a brow movement when you're a man?
Especially as a man. I don't get why men do it at all because men are allowed to get old. With women, it makes a little more sense. Men, it's like if you are 80, you can have a girlfriend who's 30. It happens all the time, right? But women, not so much.
And people cheer it on. People are like, yeah, bro. It's hilarious.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's like when you see Rupert Murdoch with whatever his latest wife is.
Everybody does it. And she's 30 years old. Everybody does it. Yeah, go Rupert. Everybody who's older, it's very common. You don't even have to be that rich.
There's a lot of those old rich guys, though, that have like... Bomber wise. Of course. Yeah. It's crazy. It's crazy to watch.
That's why I say my husband's only two years older than me. So that's actually, I think I'm technically like 10 years older.
Right.
If you take society into account, he's actually like, I'm a cougar.
Right.
Yeah. For going for a guy that's only two years older than me.
crazy I know it's like in general especially like with old rich guys like none of them are married by their age no I told him like babe I'm like you're in finance your wife's not even born yet
But he said to me, he said that he usually gets bored in relationships, but with me, he prays for it.
He prays for boredom?
Yeah, he's like, I'm never bored. He's like, I wake up every day, I never know who I'm going to get.
Oh, that's hilarious. Are you more or less stable off the amphetamines?
I, less.
Less.
Less stable.
More impossible to predict.
But I'm also pregnant.
Right.
So I'll be doing, I don't know if it's, for example, he'll say something to me, but I'm very self-aware, which is good. I think I'm very. Are you sure? I think so. Okay. I think so. I've had a lot of therapy, which I think is helpful. Like when I've needed it. I don't know. I don't go all the time, but I'll be, he asked me recently if I could pick some things up around like, this is your stuff.
I was like, I'll just leave. If you want me to just leave. And I'm like, oh my God, sorry. That was a bit of an overreaction. But I don't know if that's because I'm not medicated or because I'm pregnant.
It's probably a little bit of both.
You know?
I mean, certainly there's something going on inside your body that's significant. And then on top of that, you're off speed.
Yeah.
That's why it'd be interesting for you to wait a little while.
I think I'm going to. Yeah. Which I never thought I would.
You probably should. You might like yourself more after nine months.
Yeah.
Because right now you're still in the hell of it. It is. How many months has it been since you stopped?
So whenever I found out I was pregnant at the end of May.
Okay. So just a couple of months.
Yeah.
Yeah. June, July. Oh, and we're in September now.
Okay.
So three months.
Yeah.
So this is like a new thing. You know, your body's probably still...
equalizing you know normalizing getting down to the regular levels and it's weird when i see myself in the mirror i still like do a jump scare because i'm like that who's that because i was so skinny before i was really skinny before now i have like a belly because i'm supposed to right right but i do a jump scare a little bit really yeah but i'm going back out i mean i'm going back back out on tour when the book comes out so i'm going to be super pregnant super pregnant five days a week on gottfeld two days a week on the road wow
So that's going to be a lot.
Are you worried about that? Like becoming exhausted and that that would have a detrimental effect?
I'm worried about being exhausted, but I'm not worried about having a detrimental effect. I mean, because I'm just going to do it and I love it. Like I love being on stage. I love doing what I do.
As long as you get enough sleep.
Yeah. But it's going to be tough at the end. It's going to be.
You're going to do it all the way to the end?
Yeah, I'm doing it all the way until I can't fly anymore. So the middle of December. Wow. But, you know, my husband says he's going to come with me. His joke, he has like a couple jokes. He has like five jokes. And one of them is he's like, I'm going to come so she has someone to yell at. That's his bit. He has a few jokes. He was in the military. What else does he say?
He loves when people ask him if he's ever been hunting because then he gets to say, just people.
Yeah, people like that one.
Yeah, he likes that one. I'm trying to think what else. He's got like five solid bits that he does. But, you know.
It's crazy that you're going to do it all the way up until nine months. Yeah. Why not just stop doing it at six?
It's going to be rough. I'm a person of extremes. I'm always like, I want to take it to the limit every single time. Even while you're pregnant?
What if you give birth prematurely when you're on the road?
I don't think I will. No.
Oh, well, you've had a lot of experience having babies.
I do, but they said I shouldn't fly past 34 weeks. So that would be December 28th-ish. And my last show is, I think, December 15th. So I'm just listening to what they're telling me. Well, that's good. And I also think it's going to be... I'm really passionate about the subject matter. I love doing the shows. Why wouldn't I do it other than what you just mentioned?
It's funny that people would instantly want to label you as a right wing person because you're on Fox. And also, it's funny that just people do that anymore. Whatever they did when they first created Fox, because Fox was essentially the first real opinion based news source that was very right wing that was on television. And then that gave the rise to or at least gave.
some of the motivation to places like CNN to develop these editorial based shows and opinion based perspectives that really annoyed and polarized so many people. And it used to be that there were certain stations that would have objective news and you would get objective news and you would have right wing people given their perspective and left wing people.
Look, Gore Vidal and William F. Buckley debated live on television multiple times in a row. And it was like one of the biggest events on TV at the time. Like people were allowed to have differing opinions and they'd be on a show and we would let them talk things through. Yeah. And even then, I'm sure it was polarized. It's always going to be. People are always going to be tribal.
But today it's so much more ridiculous than at any time I could ever remember in my life.
Well, I think that one of the biggest problems with today is not just that there's a lack of independent thinking, but that people have difficulty even perceiving it when it happens. So if I say something that is critical of Kamala, then people are like, oh, she's MAGA. She's super MAGA.
Or if you say something critical of Trump, then it's like, oh, you're a communist and you're going to vote for... And they don't even perceive that, hey, maybe someone could be this other thing where they just kind of don't fall into either camp. And I get that people, yeah, because people do.
Maybe you just have a point and just listen to what the point is.
And the parties don't mean anything in a lot of sense. I've been at Fox for almost 10 years now. So I used to get shit on for, I'm super anti-war. I'm an anti-war person. And I think, you know, it's it's a lot of it. And I think we know they lie to us about a lot of these things.
And then we know that people get promoted and they get rich who work and, you know, they move on from working as generals to working in weapons companies, etc. We know all this stuff. But that used to be something that the left would agree with me on and the right would yell at me about. And then it was Trump was becoming antiwar with Ukraine. And then it was reversed.
Then I was like, I'm a Trump puppet for thinking and saying the things that I've always thought. So it's just people. It's just people even notice that, though.
Right.
They don't even notice it as it's happening.
Because they're really just committed to their tribe. Exactly. It's these blue no matter who people or red till dead people. And you can trick them. This is one of the reasons why, like, if I was the grand manipulator of the world, if I really believe there's one cabal of super geniuses that's running everything, I would try to see if I could do that.
I would say let's see if we can get the left to support censorship, pro-war, invasive politics, like entering into people's homes and classrooms and siphoning up their information in order to protect trans kids in fucking Detroit or whatever it is. Come up with some fucking reason and make everybody get a part of a centralized digital currency because that's better for everybody.
Put everybody on an app so we know if you're vaccinated. That's the left.
That's the right. Yeah, exactly.
If I wanted to show that people are so easily manipulated that there is no left, there is no right, it's mostly nonsense. It's mostly people just subscribing to a predetermined pattern of beliefs and behaviors that they think is good and makes them a part of the tribe.
It's exactly what it is. It's exactly what it is. Because when people say, oh, are you moderate? I'm like, moderate according to what? What are these two pillars that have been set up? It's not real. And it's always changing.
And it goes so far to the left and so far to the right that... But what used to be crazy is now normalized, like hormone blockers for kids, like being able to take away parents' rights because the child wants to transition and they want to be able to do it without the parents say so.
That to me is – And they're 13, 14 years old. Fucking crazy. The stuff with the schools is crazy to me because it shouldn't matter what it's about.
But there's never been a time in history where we would have accepted that.
No. No. To say that you can't tell the parents what's going on with the kids at school is to say that the state has more ownership over your kids than you do. That's some creepy communist shit.
And it's not just creepy communist shit, but it's prescribed. It's like this is what you're supposed to believe in if you want to be a part of the progressive left.
Yeah. And then but then, of course, the right takes it too far. Being like drag, no drag queens.
You know, it's definitely be allowed to be a drag queen. But I don't know if you should have drag queen story hour for five year olds when there's no parents around.
And also when the kids can't read or do math is my thing. I think that all of this stuff, it's also very I've noticed it became more of an argument after covid. I think there's a lot of distraction from, hey, these kids lost a lot because I think it's so crazy how it's this radical idea to say the Department of when Trump said I'd get rid of the Department of Education. People go, he hates kids.
It's like, OK, well, look what they did and look what they're continuing to do. I mean, kids are not. Yeah, exactly.
The results in this country, the academic results are terrible.
There was no school for two years some places.
Getting rid of a department or disbanding a department doesn't mean you don't fund that thing anymore. But it probably would be better if there was something more competitive.
Exactly.
Because if you just give it, just like we were talking about the homeless problem in California, if you just give it to an organization, institution, it's a government-funded institution, has no obligation to be profitable, has no obligation to be effective. And you just say, we are spending a lot of money on the homeless problem.
And what you've really done is just employ a bunch of people and they've done very little.
No. Well, they've done a lot in terms of probably their own incentives and their own power.
You can apply that to basically infrastructure, education, everything. It's just the same kind of thing. It's like, I'm not this...
person says the free market will figure out everything but in a lot of cases you'd be better off with some competition so you'd force people to be more effective you'd force results you would have to you would force people to be accountable for whatever decisions they've made and what the results of those decisions are there's no accountability right there's no accountability and that's a real problem in this country and that used to be something that the left feared
The left used to fear corporate interference and big business and big government. They used to fear that. They used to fear all that stuff. And now they're all in on it.
Yeah. It's so weird. Yeah. And for me, I mean, I'm a huge I mean, First Amendment is so important. Right. That's if you don't have that, you don't have anything. Well, you don't have a job. Yeah. Without it. Right. I don't either. No, of course. I go to jail. I would be in jail a long time. Think about what they're putting people in jail for in England, just posting things on Facebook.
But I get shit from both sides for depending on what I'm defending in terms of something being constitutional.
I mean, obviously with the left, it's like what also was crazy to me is people, a lot of the same people were the Trump is Hitler people were also the hate speech laws people, which is like, how can you think this government that's led by Hitler should be in control of what you can and can't say? That doesn't make sense to me.
But sometimes I also flag burning has to be constitutional because you have to be able to buy a flag. And if you can't burn a flag you bought, like, come on, like that's government protest. You have to be able to do that. I don't like it. I would never do it. But you shouldn't put people in jail for it.
Yeah, Trump said he wants to put people in jail for a year.
Yeah, and I was like, oh, dude. It's like, you know what I mean? Like, he got shot. He looked awesome when he got shot. I mean, really. I mean, if I got shot, I would not look that cool.
Right.
Fist pumping. Fight, fight, fight. No, I'd be like.
Pretty gangster.
Yeah, it was amazing. When he got shot, I was like, oh, he won. I really thought after he got shot, I was like, he just won the election.
Well, I think they did, too. That's why they shuffled Biden out and put Kamala in.
Yeah, I think so, too.
And they're like, let's just gaslight these motherfuckers into a coma and push this through.
100%.
If they had a full year. of Kamala versus Trump, like a full year of her running and doing interviews. And talking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'd have a much more balanced understanding of who she is and how this is going to look and what it's going to be like if she becomes president.
Absolutely.
Because right now people are just riding on gas. Yeah. They're fucking riding on gas.
But it's so powerful. And you can see it. Everybody's in on her. That's really powerful. People are excited about her. Alexa's in on her. That Alexa thing's crazy. Pop culture. Everyone's in on it. And it's also... I hate election years because it's just like, if you don't vote for blank, this whole country is going to go down. Both sides say it. So it's just like, it's no.
Whoever wins, it's going to be shitty and just in different ways and maybe some of the same ways. It's just not.
What do you think would be the shittiest, like not in terms of for the country, but in terms of people's reaction? Do you think more violence will take place if Trump gets in office or more violence will take place if Kamala gets in office? Because I anticipate there's going to be some craziness after the election. Of course.
Once someone decides, whoever someone is, whoever's president, whenever it gets decided, there's going to be some madness. Yeah. You got to be some real madness. And I get scared of that kind of stuff, too, because I know that a lot of times when people do that, they think they're making a point.
But boy, if you're against government control, those kind of like real angry riots and protests are an amazing opportunity for them to clamp down on your rights.
yes absolutely yeah yeah absolutely when that happens it's like okay well then we need to federalize police and this and that it's like it's crazy i really do i am concerned about it for the same reasons for the absolutely and it's gonna be bad no matter what in terms of the reaction of the other side i mean people i'm not looking forward to it i'm like i can't wait for this election to be over and then i'm like oh it's gonna be even worse
Yeah, it probably will. I mean especially if you believe the conspiracy theories that some of that stuff is funded. Like some of that stuff is organized. Some protests and riots, they seem to be organized, right? And I'm not going to be a conspiracy theorist, but there is a thing called an agent provocateur. It's always existed.
And they send people in to disrupt protests and turn them violent and make things chaotic. That's always been the case, especially if they want to push a very specific agenda that the people are fed up and they're angry. Remember when the George Floyd riots were going on and they'd find pallets of bricks just laying around?
Yeah.
Well, that was crazy because I- Some people had reasons for certain bricks being in places.
Yeah.
But there was a few of them where people just said that they just got dropped off there. And that's exactly where everything popped off. Like, why are there pallets of bricks? There's never just pallets of bricks laying around.
No, I have no idea.
But if you were going to organize a riot- Wouldn't you just leave some bricks?
I'd break some bricks. I'd leave some bricks. For my riot, yeah.
If I was like, look, this is what we're going to do. We're organizing. We're spending all this money to get these college kids to invest in this. Then we're going to bring in Antifa and they're going to go crazy and we're handing out masks and then we're going to leave bricks around.
And I also think it's sad because I think that there were – Definitely legitimate points to be made and are about criminal justice, I think. But boy, was that handled the war. I mean, so they go from that to people to people, you know, setting buildings on fire and then CNN doing the, you know, mostly fiery, but mostly peaceful with it. The famous.
It's like, come on, you don't got to defend that. You know, like nobody like people, you look ridiculous. Exactly. But then it got completely bungled. And so in the name of criminal justice reform, now it's like people who are actual violent criminals can be allowed out easier. Nobody wanted that.
So then now the pendulum is going to swing in the other direction where, you know, it's going to be even more law and order and it's going to be... Like you said, it's going to be rights at stake, civil liberties at stake, which is what this was supposed to be all about to begin with.
Well, this is the ultimate goal of – I mean, again, I'm not saying this is happening, but this would be the ultimate goal of a communist dictatorship. You cause chaos. You step in to stop the chaos. You install new rules to make sure that there's no more chaos anymore. You protect – you cause a problem. Yeah. You bring up a solution.
That solution allows you to gain more control and you just keep doing it. You keep doing it until you have ultimate control over the people.
Yeah. And I'm not saying it's happening either. But in general. It's moving that way. In general, the fear is used by the government a lot. Right. It's really, I mean, even going back to talking about war and national security and we need to do this. Next thing you know, I mean, look at the Patriot Act.
Yeah.
I mean, people were like, you have to be able to to protect you doing this, banning TikTok, all these things. And you look into what they're really doing and the power that it would really give them. It's like, oh, this isn't about really just banning TikTok.
What did Kamala Harris say recently about Elon Musk and Twitter having to follow the same rules as Facebook?
Yeah, what did she say? Yeah, what did she... I don't know. I didn't hear what she said.
It was something... It was something about how Elon's going to have to follow the same rules as Facebook.
Like, says who? That's so creepy.
First of all, what rules? Yeah, yeah. And also, didn't Mark Zuckerberg just come out with a statement saying that he regretted giving in to the government's request to take down COVID-19 information? Yeah. And... Yeah, and then the Hunter Biden laptop story. He just came out with a big statement. Because for a lot of people, they were really furious about it.
Claim, a video clip portrays Harris saying that she will shut down X. I don't think she said she would shut it down. If she wins 2024, then Musk has lost his privileges. The fact that's false. Harris was referring to Trump long before Musk and Twitter rebranded it as X. So is that what she was saying from that video?
So was the video her saying that why should Twitter be allowed to have Trump on if Facebook can't have him on? Is that what it is?
When I'm looking for the video, all I'm seeing is within the last 24 hours, posts say a claim is false.
Right, but that is not what we were talking about, though. We were talking about something slightly different. Let me see if I can find it for you.
Does she want to shut down X?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not saying that she said she would shut it down. What I'm saying is that she was saying that why should Twitter not have to follow the same rules that are being followed by Facebook?
Right, what I typed in was Kamala Harris Twitter rules, so that's the videos that were popping up.
Here, I'm sending it to you right now, Jamie. This is what I'm looking for. Okay, so I need to know what she's referring to here, but listen to this statement. Yeah, I think this is from that. Go ahead and play it. Let's see what it says. So she's probably talking about Trump being on Twitter. Is that what it is?
She was talking to Jake Tapper. Right.
You can't say that you have one rule for Facebook and you have a different rule for Twitter. The same rule has to apply, which is that there has to be a responsibility that is placed on these social media sites to understand their power. They are directly speaking to millions and millions of people without any level of oversight or regulation. And that has to stop.
Okay, right away. There's no way to misconstrue that. What does that mean? Oversight and regulation for free speech is ridiculous. Just that alone, there's no way to misconstrue that. What she was saying is what I was thinking she was saying. She was saying she wants government oversight and regulation for social media.
That's crazy. It's crazy for anyone to want it because if the only reason you want it, right, is because you agree with the ideological bent of the platform, wait until someone else is in charge of it or wait until there's a different government in charge.
It's also saying that the very thing that Mark Zuckerberg regrets should be happening. Like she's essentially saying why should they have different rules for Facebook than they do for Twitter? Like what rules?
What rules?
We don't have rules. We have First Amendment rights of free speech.
I think it actually is even crazy that he's admitting that, you know?
I mean, good for him.
Absolutely.
Trump said something pretty scary for him. He said that if he finds out that he interfered with the election, he's going to be in jail for the rest of his life. That's pretty scary. That's pretty fucking scary. Because it's very likely that he might wind up being the president. And if he winds up being the president, they start investigating this stuff.
If I was Mark Zuckerberg, I'd be pretty fucking freaked out by that statement. Because... It is election interference. For sure, whoever was running Twitter who gave in to the FBI's request to take down the Hunter Biden laptop story, they definitely interfered with the way people voted. Because if people found out that that laptop was legitimate and all that stuff was true...
So there's a certain percentage. I don't know what the number is, but there's a certain percentage of people that were maybe on the fence and that could have influenced their vote one way or another. And it could have given Trump fuel because he could have been talking about it. See, I told you that this was real and they've been lying. And it would also prove that Biden lied during the debates.
I don't understand how anybody didn't think it was real, though. Because Hunter never even denied it. When all those people signed that letter, all those intelligence people.
51 former intelligence agents.
51 signed it. Guess who didn't sign it? Hunter Biden. Right. That's what I thought from the I was like, OK, if that was me and someone was saying there was a laptop going around of me, you know, doing all this shit, banging all these people on camera and smoking all these drugs. I'd be like that. I would be like, that was not me.
I would be like, you know, that'd be pretty important for me to come out and say that.
If it happened today, you could claim it was AI. Yeah.
Well, that's out there with everybody, me included, sadly.
Forever.
Forever.
Yeah, and not only that, it's going to change and get way more complex.
And there's nothing you can do about it. Nothing you can do about it. Because you knock it down, it's like whack-a-mole. It's like, then there's another one, then there's another one.
There's nothing you can do about that. But with all this stuff, this talk, whatever she was saying right there is not what you want to hear from somebody. No. You don't want to hear they're going to censor social media.
They were talking specifically about Senator Warren talking about banning President Trump's account. And that was her response to it.
Yeah, but she was also talking about oversight. She talked about oversight very specifically and clearly.
Yeah, it has the quote right here.
Yeah. And what's the rule that she's talking about? The same rule should apply, which is there has to be a responsibility that is placed on these social media sites to understand their power. They are directly speaking to millions and millions of people without any level of oversight or regulation, and that has to stop. That's all you need to hear.
Like that right there is not something you want to hear from someone who respects the First Amendment. That's not how it's supposed to be. Also, who's they?
It's just a collection of people.
Not only that, if you're talking about oversight and regulation, are you talking about the exact same people that were trying to get Twitter and successfully did get Twitter to take down the Hunter Biden laptop? top story and make it impossible to share that video saying that it was a misinformation when it was not.
And if you don't do anything to correct and to hold people responsible that pushed out that misinformation and no one's punished for it and there's no retribution, there's no repercussions at all. What are you saying then? What are you saying?
It's okay if your side says things that aren't true and you can regulate in a way that's not based on fact or reality, but based on a result that you want to take place and that's fine. So we don't have freedom of speech. No, of course not. Then you're talking nonsense. This is talking crazy talk. Maybe she believed it was real back then. Maybe she believed it was real. Who knows?
Maybe she believed it was important. But if you got a hold of the Twitter files and you see what Michael Schellenberger and Matt Taibbi and all those people that went through that stuff with a fine tooth comb, the stuff that they found out. Should make you realize, like, no, you can't have the government tell you what you can and can't say.
No.
They don't always tell the truth. They're often influenced. Sometimes you have rogue actors. You probably have one or two people that's responsible for making the call to Facebook or to Twitter. So it's on them. It's on these people with whatever fucking influence that they have and whatever people are talking to them behind the scenes. Absolutely. You can't have that, kids.
It's bad for everybody.
Yeah. And just the idea that there's certain information that's misinformation is just the government sanctioned information.
But they can't even let you debate it. No. They want you to stop it. As soon as they want you to stop it, the only solution to bad information is good information.
Of course.
That's how it's supposed to be. If they want to stop you from saying something and then it turns out that what you were saying was true, no one should trust them ever again. There should be some sort of a comeuppance and there's no comeuppance. There's no discussion of it. It's never talked about. It's just plowed on through and we move on to the next thing with no acknowledgement at all.
You guys fucking bullshitted us and lied to us for years. For years. And now you want to control social media to stop lies.
And the lab leak theory is one that really, I mean, people's careers were destroyed over being like, maybe this virus came from this lab full of viruses where it was found right outside of. And they were like, you fucking crazy ass. But it was only because certain information was seen as acceptable and sanctioned and certain information was seen as not.
Well, it's way creepier than that.
Of course. It's actually suppressing it. No, I get it.
There's a business behind it. And they use their money and their influence and their control of the media to fuck you. You got bullshitted. You got bullshitted by business. And business, they got together with media and they all had a plan. What are you playing, Jamie? What are you watching over there? More bullshit. It's just there's so much bullshit. But also less bullshit.
If you think about overall, because there's way more truth now, right? Like you get way more independent journalism than we've ever had access to in the history of the human race. And you get so much of it. So you get all this media propaganda and mainstream bullshit. But on top of that, you get a lot of Jimmy Doors. You get a lot of independent people that are telling the truth.
You get the Glenn Greenwalds. You get the Matt Taibis. You get all these. people that are just telling you, Michael Schellenberger's telling Barry Wise, telling you what the fuck is actually going on and not attached to some large corporation.
Yeah, but it's also saying the government is the only one that's allowed to be wrong.
Right.
Because if what they say is misinformation turns out to be true, as was so many things, that's okay.
Right, but it's not just wrong. You were lying.
Of course. Of course. Like Fauci being like, oh, we made up six feet. Like, yeah, we didn't really know. It's just actively lying. Yes, absolutely.
There's a difference between being wrong about something and just lying and then getting truth removed. You know, and shaming doctors from Stanford and Harvard and making them out to be kooks. Some of the people that were the top of their field. Yeah. And they had dissenting opinions because they're experts. Yeah. And they're watching this bullshit go down by bureaucrats.
And they're like, you motherfuckers.
And people say, just stay home. That drove me nuts. I feel like how can you say that when you're still at work? When you're still at work, right? I mean, I was lucky to still have my job. And people had to shut down. Even New York's not the same anymore as it used to be because a lot of these businesses closed down forever.
What made New York so special was a lot of those small businesses, restaurants, things like that. They can't afford to be open and just not have customers for that long. So now a lot of that's like Dunkin' Donuts.
Are you seeing the difference in New York with the spike of immigrants?
I haven't really. I don't go outside that much.
There was some recent statistic about the percentage of violent crimes, robberies and assaults that were created by migrants, illegal immigrants that are in New York right now.
Yeah, I'm not familiar with that. I mean, I also truly don't go any like I go to work in my apartment and that's pretty much I was going to read the article, but I saved it.
See if you can find it, though. I thought it would be an interesting thing to talk about. At what point in time – I know that Eric Adams, the mayor, is like, stop coming here, go somewhere else. And Kathy Hochul is like, get out of here, go somewhere else. But you still have a sanctuary city, and you still are paying them to stay there.
That's the thing that gets me. If you are nonviolent and you want to come contribute to our economy, then I think you should be welcome to do so. Here it is. The incentives where you're paying for things.
Here it is. Immigrants. It's on New York Post. Migrants flooding New York City's justice system, making up 75% of arrests in Midtown. As pathetic sanctuary city laws handcuff cops. I saw this thing where someone was complaining to these cops about someone doing something illegal and they said we can't arrest them because this is a sanctuary city and they're migrants. It was somewhere in Colorado.
So you could just do wild things and no one could do anything because you're in a sanctuary city?
And I think it's terrible. I think it should be very simple. I think that if you want to come contribute to the economy and you're nonviolent, you should be free to do so. I don't think we should be paying people, I mean, to come over to the cities.
What do you think they're doing? Yeah, that's what they're doing. What do you think they're doing, though? Why do you think they're doing it this way?
I mean, there's many explanations. There's a bunch of conspiracies, and then there's also the idea of people not wanting to be called xenophobic.
Yeah, but not wanting to be called xenophobic doesn't mean you have an open border. The idea of just completely abandoning any idea of security concerns.
Yeah, I think it could be more—it's sad because there are people who want to come here and work and should be able to and have problems. They can't come here. But then there's people who just—it's not even the problem. You don't even blame—you come here, you get a free this, you get a free that, a free place to stay. Why wouldn't these people all come?
Right. Do you think they're bringing them in here to buy votes, though?
I'm not convinced.
That's the most interesting one.
I'm not convinced by that.
Well, Nancy Pelosi was on Bill Maher and she was talking about providing a path for them to all be citizens. And that's what she wants to do. Make them documented. Document them.
Aren't a lot of people from these countries conservative, though?
Well, it depends on which countries from Cuba, for sure.
There's definitely people who are also conservative.
But the thing is, most people look out for the best interest and you can buy them. I mean, if you're the party that let them through and gave them money and allowed them to establish a foothold in America, now their families here and they're doing much better. Well, you would definitely vote Democrat because they're the people that hooked you up.
That just seems like a natural human incentive without even having to bribe them to do it. If you're giving them loans and helping them get houses and making it so they can vote and giving them a clear path to citizenship, that seems like if I came here from Guatemala and I didn't know a lot about our political system, the people that hooked me up, I'd stick with them.
So you probably are going to get a higher percentage of those people that if you can ever do this and create a path with these people who are illegal immigrants and enter into the country illegally can get a quick path to you would have a lot more voters. A lot. You'd have a lot. I mean, it doesn't seem it sounds crazy to say, but it doesn't seem crazy to try.
If you're trying to figure out a way that you can win and win in the future, like almost every time, wouldn't you like just bring in voters?
I mean, I've obviously heard the argument before. I'm not super convinced by it. I think that there's many other things that play into it. But in general, my problem is with the extremely large welfare state in general and where the money goes and how bad the government is at spending money. I mean, because it's also... Same thing as California's in New York. I mean, there's so much money spent.
Was it a Bloomberg or excuse me, de Blasio's wife that was in charge of like the homeless mental health initiative?
You weren't missing a bunch of money.
It's like I'm sitting there. I used to live in Hudson Yards and my husband and I are sitting in this. We've since moved, but we're sitting there. We were looking down in the park watching like some dude get a blowjob from, you know, some...
crackhead blowing someone else and it's like I feel like there's a lot still going on here with this mental where's my money all going in general and I feel like with you know immigration I think also the two sides there's a lot of incentives that people get from politically Yeah. You know, think about the dreamers.
Labor. Here's the thing about cheap labor. And this is what Tim Dillon's been saying. He said he's like he thinks they're bringing in cheap, illegal labor. And that's why construction businesses like if you kicked out all the illegal immigrants, he was like a lot of construction businesses would be fucked. They'd be fucked. And he said there's a lot of people that don't want those jobs anymore.
And they're sneaking in people to fill those jobs. He thinks that's part of it. And that makes sense. But did you ever see that documentary Wild Wild Country? It's fucking great. It's on Netflix. And it's all about this cult that put together this compound in the Pacific Northwest. And one of the things they did is they brought in homeless people by the buses. They found all these homeless people.
You can be a part of our community. And these homeless people get there like, wow, finally I have a place and I belong. These people were all psyched. They belonged to this community. And then they voted. So they took over the whole town by busing in voters. So they brought in these voters. They just grabbed homeless people from everywhere. And they integrated into the community.
That's a South Park episode.
They had them vote, but they really didn't. This is like in the 80s or 90s. So they had them vote. What year was that? What year did that take place? It might be the 2000s. Anyway, had them vote. And then once they took over the town, they kicked all the homeless people out. Get the fuck out of here. And the homeless people were like, I thought you loved me. I thought I was a part of the team.
And these people, for once in their life, they had direction. They had meaning. They were part of a community. They're trying to get off the dope. They're feeling better about themselves, chanting and really believing all these things these people are talking about. And they really just used them.
They're political pawns.
Yeah.
Well, it's the same thing as remember how the Dream Act, the Dreamers was like such a big deal when Trump said he was going to remove the protections. But then, OK, so why have they not been protected now? So why has there been no bill? If everybody cares so much, people, they don't care. That's like my overarching belief is just that politics, they just don't care about you.
It makes people fight in their real life with people on the behalf of people that don't even care you exist.
They can't. They can't care. There's too many people. I mean, just imagine wanting that job, first of all.
No, I can't.
And then imagine the stress of how is Trump doing it at 78 years old? How is he dealing with the stress of doing this? No. And he's doing podcasts and it's like, what the fuck? Fuck, man. He started a podcast with Theo. The podcast with Theo was amazing.
It was amazing, yeah.
He did one with Lex yesterday. So it's just like, how do you have the energy to keep the fuck that job? I would never. And how can you care as much as you want about, you could try to care, but there's so many things to care about. Yeah. There's so much going on and everything's a fucking fire. Everything's on fire. The economy's on fire.
international relations on fire the economy I went I mean I went and got two coffees and two shitty egg sandwiches with my husband the other day shitty ones you know the ones that are pre-made and you just heat them in the heat it was over $60
what yeah is that new york city yeah fucking get out of there why do you why are they doing that work and that's it why are they but why is fox stupid why don't they move their fucking business to connecticut i'm all move anywhere i'm all about it because that's the only reason i'm there yeah go somewhere else and i don't go out right i guess it's fun if like you're young but when i was there and i was young i was poor so i never really got now i'm married and pregnant so i'm not really going out right i'm going home into work and you can't even live in long island because it's too hard to get
It's too hard to get over that. We're still renting, and I'm making that decision. I'm like, do we buy a house somewhere? In Jersey? In Jersey.
But then it takes you an hour to get to work.
Exactly.
If you leave at six in the morning.
Exactly.
It's one of those deals.
Which is worse?
It's it's hard. And if you want to do stand up, God damn it. You kind of have to be in the city. Like, it's so hard to do that unless you're single and free. Like when I lived in New Rochelle, I lived in New Rochelle because I couldn't afford to live in the city at the time. And I was doing a lot of road gigs. I needed a car. I needed a parking spot.
And if I lived in the city, a parking spot was like.
500 bucks a month or something like that was crazy yeah half of my rent for a spot to put my car i had to have a fucking car so i used to have to drive in the city to go and do spots so do spots in the city i'd have to pay to park i'd always lose money i never made any money if i lived in the city and just hopped around the subway and took cabs i could have made a living doing stand-up in the city but i had to do road gigs in order to just make a living just to be able to do sets in the city
Yeah, and I've just started getting into going back up just around the city again. Just like, oh, what am I doing this weekend? Hey, can I get a spot at this place? Because I've quit stand-up three times. Now I'm back at it. You can't really ever quit it, I feel like. Some people can. I don't know.
I mean, I think I could quit it. I quit it during COVID for like eight months, and I was thinking while I was quitting it. I was like, who knows if this is ever going to happen again. I was thinking, I'm okay. I love it. I really love stand-up. It's fun. I love comedians. Stan Hope said it best. He's like, I could quit comedy, but I couldn't quit comedians.
Yeah.
Which is like totally right. It's like the hang is like, it's too, they're too fun to hang with. They're too fun to be silly with. Everyone knows there's no boundaries. Everyone's being hilarious. Everyone, like last night we were in the green room and Brian Simpson came up with this new bit and everybody's like giving it, like he said this thing. It was really fun. I go, dude, that's a bit.
He's like, you think so? I'm like, fuck yeah. And then he hit it with another tagline and then somebody else jumped in. Then he had another tagline. Like he created this bit right in front of him.
And he was like, oh,
I can't wait to go on stage and tell that. I was like, woo! Those kind of moments, those are the most fun moments. And I think only comics are going to appreciate that. No one else is going to understand what even just happened. That guy just has a bit. There's not only just a bit, but it's a root. of what's gonna be a real chunk of material.
Like, he's just started off with this hilarious premise that has a few really good taglines, and then four months from now, that's gonna probably be a closing bit. It's like one of those deals. It's like, I can't stop hanging out with those people. It's too fun.
Oh, it's too fun. But I mean, for me, I quit a few times and I quit most recently also during COVID. And then when I wrote the first book, I started doing a live show within their slides involved. Every slide has a punchline. And then next thing you know, I'm going up around the city now doing just like stand up as well, in addition to my live shows.
But now it's pretty much I'm gonna have no time to just do my my shows and then Gutfeld five days a week and the baby growing the baby. Maybe you do need speed. I'm telling you, I'm telling you, but it's, you know, they don't let you, well, the fact that they would let me take it, I was like, eh.
Yeah, fuck that.
Because then if there was ever anything wrong with the baby, I'd be like, that was my fault. Right, right, right. That was my fault for taking amphetamines during my pregnancy.
Yeah. Yeah. Fuck that.
So I thought it'd be, honestly, I thought when I, I thought I'd be more scared of having kids and I am scared. I have no idea what I'm doing, but I've also just been like too tired, which is kind of nice.
Right. That probably like eases some of the anxiety. Yeah.
you need a nap yeah exactly once you have the baby then you're gonna need a lot of naps yeah baby brain is real in the beginning you you think you're like out of it now when you don't get any sleep and the baby's up and then you gotta like take turns like you you're you're gonna be like sleep deprived for several months yeah at least at least at least i mean i i've always it's crazy because only recently have i accepted that this baby's gonna like live in my apartment
You know what I mean?
I bet you're going to want to get out of there.
Yeah, I'm sure.
Yeah, you're going to want to get a house. You're going to want to be somewhere safer and quieter.
Somewhere with outside.
Yeah, somewhere where your kid can play.
Yeah, baby can't play on the balcony.
It's just, I just, you know, I have friends who raised their whole families in New York City, like kids from baby all the way to grown up. And those kids are different.
They're little assassins. I don't want to have to explain to my toddler, a dude like jerking off on a street corner with a needle in his arm. They know too much at a young age. I don't want to have to, I mean, the stuff that you see just, it's not as bad as it was during COVID. It was crazy. People were shooting up all over the place. Not as bad, but still, I mean.
Remember when people were using the streets as like racetracks? I was crashing cars because there was no one on the street. So people were going like 150 miles an hour down Broadway.
There was I when I live in Hudson Yards. Also, during COVID, there was a dude at a chick bent over a car fucking her in the daytime, in the daytime. And he was like howling. He was like, wow. And I was like. And I'm looking around, and nobody's doing anything.
What do you want them to do?
Right. Nobody wants to be in the splash zone. Nobody wants to go anywhere near any of that.
Also, with all the terrible things that are going on, is that that bad? I mean, they're not doing anything when someone smashes windows and steals clothes.
I would be upset if that were my car.
When de Blasio let those people have those smash and grabs and was telling them to get it out of their system, remember that?
Yeah.
that was the strategy just let the riots burn themselves out and don't arrest anybody like what are you fucking doing well no personal property that's calm that's some communist shit too it was great it was just it didn't make any sense it was all failed leftist philosophies from like the 1960s that nobody really believes it in practice and they're they've never worked you can't just let people fucking smash and grab things you're going to destroy the fabric of society you're going to
So many people are going to be indoctrinated into looting and stealing that maybe have never done that before. If you have these mass groups, if you have like these mass groups of people that break into a mall and 200 people, how many of those people have ever done anything like that before? Probably a lot haven't. And now all of a sudden they have and they do it multiple times.
Then it becomes a normalized thing. Yeah. And it realizes, nope, you've created a real fucking problem.
Well, you feel dumb for not stealing at a certain point. Why am I still paying for this shit? But you can't I can't buy anything at a store I have to get like essentials toiletries types shit. You have to just get it online. You can't go to a store in New York It's all there's no one working there. There's a few employees.
You got to press a button every time you need something Everything's locked up Bert Kreischer went viral today because I think Breitbart put a video of his because he went through a Rite Aid
I saw someone commenting on that, though, that Rite Aid's going out of business and that store is like one of the ones that's closing.
Where are people going to get their amphetamines? Right, but you know why they're going out of business? Because they got looted. Everything's locked up. I see what you're saying, but it doesn't make sense that they're going out of business so they locked up everything. No.
No, they locked up everything because people were stealing like crazy because they passed a fucking law where anything under $900 or whatever it was, they weren't allowed to arrest you. So people just run in and throw deodorant and fucking hairspray.
Toothpaste, everything.
Throw everything in a bag and walk right out the door and no one could do a goddamn thing about it. Video showing deserted Rite Aid's bare shelves after bankruptcy goes viral. Is this Bert? Yeah. Look at it. Bert went viral. Bert's so happy. He's never going to stop doing this now. He's going to go everywhere. I want to go to every Rite Aid there is.
Burt Kreischer, who showcased the empty shelves, incorrectly attributed them to theft. Incorrectly. First of all, it's the reason why they're locked up. Go show the video. So is this show the video? Because you want me to send it to you? You got it. OK, because saying saying that that's that's kooky to say. That's really kooky to say falsely attributing them to theft.
Or is this one maybe... Look at this.
This is our deodorants.
Look, everything's locked up. Oh, these are empty.
This is empty. So this probably is going out of business.
Yeah.
And I guess thieves just come in and take whatever is expensive.
But I think this is going out of business because it's not locked up.
Yeah, this is incorrect. This is classic. So I thought these were locks, locked boxes. Okay. Where's wrong? But he's not wrong because the reason why they go out of business is because they've been looted. So, like, they've abandoned several major cities, right? They've moved out, like, a lot of businesses have moved out of San Francisco, a lot of businesses have moved out of L.A.
for a very specific reason. Because of these looting. Yeah. Like, this is real. Like, what companies have pulled stores because of the after effect of looting? Let's find out. I know they have in Oakland. I think they have in San Francisco. Let's Google drugstores. What drugstores have pulled out of San Francisco? I think it's Walgreens. So what's the difference between Walmart and Walgreens?
I mean... Walgreens is a drugstore.
Walmart is the big place. But they have drugs there, too, right?
Yeah. They have a pharmacy.
They can hang in there.
Yeah. They're an institution in that place.
They said it would close around 900 stores during the next three years. 9% of them... Or wait. It then closed six in San Francisco, including five throughout downtown and one on Van Ness Avenue.
Yeah. Drugstores. Drugstores used to be like the most profitable fucking business you could own. Yeah. And now they're like, we're just getting robbed. Yeah, well, I mean... So Bird's kind of right. He's not right why those shelves are empty at that moment because they're going out of business. But that's why they're going out of business. Well, those would be locked up. Old Navy to Nordstrom.
Half of the retailers fleeing downtown San Francisco.
Well, because brick and mortar wasn't doing that well to begin with because people are buying shit online. Right. And then you just let people go. People were going to the store because you can steal it. So crazy.
You can steal it. It's almost like they want society to collapse. Like allowing stuff like that and not making corrective measures to make these retailers feel comfortable so they stay in your community without doing anything to save them and letting them pull out and not making any corrective measures is so nuts.
Yeah, it is nuts, but nothing's changed. I mean, New York's stuff has been locked up forever now.
Right, but this is a new thing is what I'm saying. Yeah, relatively. This didn't exist in the year 2000. You never saw this. So in the last 24 years, all of a sudden it's become a thing that people are looting stores on a regular basis to the point where they have to move out of cities because there's no correction in the way they enforce the laws.
Well, it's also not going to change, right? Like New York, it's not going to have, the Republicans are not going to win New York. They might.
It could get sideways enough where a Republican, a Rudy Giuliani type character can get in there. That depends on how much they have the system rigged. But I think there's a real possibility that someone could reach or some conservative Democrat, you know, some law and order Democrat.
That's possible.
Yeah, you can have one of those. But people are just going to have to get fed up. And the problem is if they don't get fed up and they keep voting for the same thing like they seem to do in California and a lot of other places, they're never going to change. It's just going to keep getting worse. And I don't understand that.
It's like how much do you love your ideology when you don't realize that they're fucking your life up?
Yeah, I don't know. I mean, it's because I think I mean, I just have no hope. I don't think it's going to get any better. I don't know. I mean, you have hope.
Yeah, I do. I have faith in people. I really do. I think we come really close to fucking up a lot and we pull ourselves out of the ashes. And I think there's been – if you just follow the course of our society over the last hundred years, there's been a lot of ups and downs. There was prohibition. There was World War I, World War II, Vietnam.
There's a lot of things where it looked like society was over. Kent State, oh, my God, what's going on? Martin Luther King gets shot. JFK gets shot. There was a lot of terrible moments. And then things got better. And then things – it's always – if you look on a chart, there's always – Generally speaking, over time, there's less crime, less problems. The economy does a little bit better.
Cost of living changes. The way you live your life improves overall, generally. I think if you look at like a thousand years to today, it's obvious. There's a clear path. It's just like got to make sure that whatever dip we're in right now, we correct. Yeah. I mean, I have all the things that we're doing wrong.
It doesn't mean you can't do all the good things that like progressive people want to do. in terms of funding education and helping people get over drug addiction and homelessness. All those things should be funded. It's a good idea to have more healthy, happy people in our society. But also, you can't rob the store. You can't.
But also, you shouldn't just be able to sneak in across the border because terrorists are a real thing.
You can't rob a store. And then also, with letting people, I mean, violent criminals out is another thing where it's like, dude, nobody wants this. It's crazy. Nobody wants this person who has this violent, violent history to be out on the streets.
Except really super progressive DAs who think that the criminal justice system is inherently racist.
I think there's plenty of things wrong with the criminal justice system. I don't think anybody should go to prison for drugs. I think drugs should be legal. I think all drugs should be legal. I think for sure. But I think that that's different than saying people who have committed crimes with victims should be allowed to go... accrue more victims.
Right. The thing about drugs is already illegal. So if drugs were legal, all the negative aspects of drugs other than addiction and overdose are already illegal. People that do meth and break into a house because they need money for more meth. That's already illegal.
You're not supposed to do that. Exactly.
And the problem with drugs being illegal is the same problem they had with prohibition during the 1930s in this country. What year was it when alcohol...
I don't know the exact year.
It was like seven or eight years, right, where alcohol was illegal?
I think it was in the 20s mostly.
But what year did it end? It ended a couple of years before they made marijuana illegal, which is hilarious because it's a complete shift. They literally took the people that were chasing alcohol, they chased them after marijuana. 1920 to 30. 1920, so 13 years. Yeah, that's nuts. 13 years. But people were still boozing. Of course. They're just dying.
But it also, my point was that it pumped up organized crime. Yeah, of course. And that's where Al Capone got rich and all these people got rich. They're bootleggers, moonshiners. That's where NASCAR comes from.
Yeah, and that's the main reason why a lot of people point to, you know, look at this place where it was decriminalized. It didn't work. It's like, well, that's decriminalized, not legalized, A. And you don't have to have all these other things, too.
But a lot of the places, look, it didn't work in Portland when they decriminalized, because Portland was already in a fucked up shit hole.
A lot of it, yes, exactly.
Portland needed rule. They needed Jesus. So Jesus should have come to Portland and sorted that place out. But instead, they got, like, just do whatever you want, man. And then, of course, they're already addicted to drugs, so they're just going to do more drugs. But if you look at what they did with Portugal, that had a profound effect.
There's countries that have decriminalized drugs, and it's been very beneficial, but You're always still buying them from criminals because even when it's decriminalized, it's not legal to sell them and profit from them. But it is legal to sell Adderall. It's like we're in a screwball, fucked up world where we have things that we've accepted as being okay just because they're grandfathered in.
It's so fucked up. And then other things like weed, which is the best example, but other things like for veterans, like psychedelics.
So many benefits to psychedelics. And also just so many comparative to alcohol and what that does to people versus not really benefits, if any. But you can be like, hey, I get fucked up and drink whatever. And it's everywhere. It's all fine. It's everywhere. But psychedelics, you can go to jail.
It's all dumb, and it doesn't make any sense if you don't want to prop up the organized crime. Because there's a reason why the cartel's worth billions and billions and billions of dollars. It's because of us, because we have drugs that are illegal, and they bring the drugs over and sell it to us, and that's how they make money.
Absolutely.
And if you don't want to fix that, just say it. Just say it. Because if you want to fix it, there's only one way to do it. And the one way to do it is to regulate it in-house. Like make it in America, regulate it in America, and then use a responsible portion of that for treatment, a lot of that treatment, which should include psychedelics.
So if you want to make things legal and then set up Ibogaine clinics everywhere. Absolutely. I bet you would get a lot of clean people that would ordinarily have a problem. But I bet Kat would still be taking nicotine and doing speed.
I still like nicotine amphetamines. But I think especially with veterans' mental health, but just really for anybody who wants to do it, even for fun, I think it should be allowed. Victims of violent crime.
There's a lot of people that have had profound release and relief. just something that allows them to move on past the death of a loved one. There's certain people that get devastated by things, and psychedelics have helped them in tremendous ways. And they just denied, the FDA just denied, you know, MAPS has run this long-term study on MDMA.
And, you know, now they have to go through more studies. And it's very unfortunate because people have benefited tremendously from that kind of therapy.
Yeah, and I mean, if you look at... With veterans, it's like you send them over to these wars and a lot of people don't come back normal from that. How could you expect them to come back normal? And people love to say, support the troops, support the troops. They don't think about what that really means.
And it's because it can look a little uglier, a little more complicated than just saying that or wearing like a flag pin on your suit. And I think in general, when it comes to mental health, we've never talked about mental health more. But people are struggling because we have such little leeway for people who are going through a mental health crisis.
If you make a mistake, that mistake defines you.
Well, there's not just that. There's so limited resources in terms of how to deal with your mental health problem. If you're not allowing people to use psychedelics and you're deciding and most of the people that are deciding are also people that haven't experienced psychedelics.
Right.
Which is really crazy. Yes. It's really crazy.
Well, that's the government. They're legislating things they don't understand.
Like literally. Yeah. Especially in this regard.
Absolutely. I completely agree.
If you really wanted to help the troops, you would give them access to that stuff because there's been a lot of people that have had tremendous results. So I'm saying it's going to work for everybody. It's not a cure all. It's not a panacea, but it's a tool. It's a tool in the toolbox. And we need a lot of tools. There's a lot of people out there that are hurting.
Oh, yeah.
Help them.
Oh, yeah. A huge, huge supporter of that.
It's crazy that we still have to argue about this in 2024. I know. With all the information that we have now on the Internet and all the people that have had to go to Costa Rica and have these retreats and come back and be cured of opiate addiction and all these problems that they've had. And we're still like, eh, more tests. Yeah. More tests. But here's some fentanyl. More tests.
Yeah.
But here, take your oxys. Yeah. More tests. But you need speed. Yeah.
You should be able to make that choice. Psychedelics are just a huge, huge benefit. I'm a huge believer in that, actually. Well, I'm a believer in freedom. Yes.
I'm a big believer in a person, a human being should not be able to tell another human being what they can and cannot do with their life and their body if it doesn't hurt anybody else.
Exactly.
In my mind, psychedelics fall into that area. And if there's no benefit, no objective benefit, then why are all these people enthusiasts? Why are all these people doing it? Why are all these people talking about profound experiences and how much it's benefited them? And the people that are saying that you can't do it, have you done it? Do you know what the fuck you're talking about?
And if you don't, probably you shouldn't be the one deciding on this. Yeah. Absolutely. You should let people decide. The more freedom you have, the better it is for everybody. But, you know, they're worried about the whole system getting like 1960 again. You know, like tune in, turn on, drop out, all that crazy shit that was going on when people became flower children.
Yes, but also so what? Yeah.
Is homelessness better? If you had 100,000 hippies in LA just like selling flowers in the street, would that be worse?
Yeah, I think that psychedelics can be beneficial for people who have trauma, but also for just anybody. If you want to be able to experience that, then you should be free to experience that.
And if it was legal, you'd be able to find out who can and cannot take it. Yes. Because there's some people, they got a screw loose and something goes, and they eat mushrooms and all of a sudden they think they can fly. People get a little nutty and certain people don't come back, especially acid. I've heard some acid stories where people didn't come back. Yeah.
Yeah, but I mean, of course, but you hear stories about everything.
But you don't know until you run studies, when things are legal and you allow people to run these studies and you come up with effective dosages, you find out what people are allergic to, what's this chemical reaction that people have, maybe certain medications that you shouldn't cross with it.
Right. But yeah, to your point, it's like you've never heard a story about someone doing alcohol and it going badly or someone doing pharmaceuticals and it going badly. What a huge tool to be able to diminish the ego in a person. And what an amazing life-changing thing that can be. And to say you can't do that because I said so is crazy to an adult.
To an adult. And the person who's telling you is uninformed.
Mm-hmm. They've never tried it. They don't know what they're talking about.
And there's no real rational... If you could just have a conversation with a person, not like a debate, not in front of Congress, like this. Just you and me for hours. Let's just sit down for hours and you tell me why you think that psychedelics should be... prohibited for all adults. You tell me why. And I'm going to tell you why I think they should.
Then I'm going to ask you some questions about what you think they do. And then you would get a sense over the course of a couple of hours to talk to this person. This person has no fucking business telling people what they can and can't take. They're just bureaucrats.
They're just bureaucrats and they know that there's a certain amount of people that are going to – it's going to benefit them to vote in a certain way and state a certain opinion. And there's a certain amount of vested interests, a certain amount of special interest groups that would like them to continue to vote in a very specific way. And that's their God. That's who they go with.
Yeah.
It has nothing to do with what's good for everybody.
No, no. And people just, they just have this framework of like, well, that's a crazy thing. That's bad. Drugs are bad. Those are bad. I can't, that's crazy. Can't do that. And then people who have had experience with them might feel differently, but that doesn't matter.
It's a sign of a sick society.
Because then the people who have experience with them are people who do drugs.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right. And those people never want to be president. Isn't it ironic? You'd want the president to do something, at least some sort of a psychedelic experience one time to just connect with God real quick, come back and go, okay, I think we can do better.
I think it would be better if more politicians did mushrooms. Yeah.
It probably would. But you'd probably get less politicians. They'd probably just quit. They'd be like, I don't want to do this job. Yeah. You know, I mean, to be able to person who could just gaslight 250 million people on a regular basis, like you have to be out of your mind.
Like you have to be really a crazy person to stand in front of people and lie about the economy and lie about job numbers and lie about this and lie about that. Like that's the most unpsychedelic perspective ever.
Yeah, it really is.
What's the most unpsychedelic job? I would say White House press secretary. Yeah. You're a professional bullshit artist.
Yeah, exactly.
You're just soothing everything over and making everything seem normal and making it seem like they've done an amazing job and everything's under control.
For the sake of just upholding the system. Yeah. And it's just psychedelics make you think, you know, they make you realize also that you're going to die in a good way. Because the things you worry about in your life feel a little bit less ridiculous when you are more familiar with your mortality. Like, oh, we're kind of just all here. We're all people.
And you're able to do things to your consciousness to see things differently. So that just makes you view things differently. And I think what's healthier than that? And like you said, it's not for everybody. There's people who definitely, they can't do it, things can go badly.
Regular life is too fucked for them. There's people that regular reality is too slippery. They shouldn't be doing anything. Those people need some other kind of help. And I don't know what that help is. I'm not a psychiatrist. But I do know that for a lot of people, they're beneficial. I know a lot of people shouldn't drink. But alcohol is legal.
And, you know, and all these things are things that we need to learn. And the only way we learn them is if we have access to them. Yeah, we know what the real benefits actually are and what the real risks actually are. We know what the real risks of Jack Daniels are. It's like there's a long history of people drinking themselves to death to death. Yeah.
And not only that, but killing other people. Oh, yeah. Like, getting behind the wheel, but also getting violence. Oh, yeah. Getting, I mean, just alcohol.
Just getting beat up in the street because you're a fucking drunk and you mouth off to somebody.
Yeah.
Now you're in the hospital with a broken skull. Like, there's so many detrimental side effects to alcohol, but yet no one is saying we should make alcohol illegal. No. Could you imagine if that was their next pitch? Yeah. Prohibition, we need to bring it back. What the fuck? What the fuck are you talking about? But if they say it with weed, everybody's like... Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's the way safer drug. Yeah. It's way safer. Yeah. Way safer. It makes everybody a lot more peaceful. It's way less violent.
You also don't...
hear people waxing poetic I mean myself included I'm not gonna sit here and be like well what alcohol can do it's all these really I mean can it be fun to get drunk sometimes yeah I guess but it's it's like the next day I'm never like man I'm so glad that I drank all that booze that really just opened my eyes to think no it's it's no alcohol is the perfect example of no biological free lunch yeah yeah rush that fun time you feel when you're lit like whoo your song comes on yeah yeah
And everybody's like, fuck yeah. Yeah. The next day you're like, oh, the sun is killing my fucking head.
For me, it's the emotional, like everybody hates me. Everybody, it's the opposite of what psychedelics can do. You're like, it gives you some perspective on the world and your place in the world. And then alcohol puts, the next morning, it's the opposite of that. It's like everyone, the world revolves around how mad it all is at me. Right. You know? Right.
You're like, what did I do?
What did I do?
And you think about some loud, stupid shit you said.
I'm like, why did I do that? Well, the texting. I'm like, what did I say? And then I think that I am going to be deposed into court for some shit. And all these messages are going to be shit. Shit that I was saying. To me, it's pretty clear which one. But there's only one of them that I could go to jail for doing.
Right.
It's nuts.
It's nuts. It doesn't make any sense. It's also been here before people. Yeah. Like, what are we doing? Making nature illegal. It's so stupid. Yeah. The whole thing is stupid. It's just and it's stupid. And the fact that we still allow it is so crazy. And no one's it would have it sounds trivial to people that don't do it.
But if you allowed people control of their consciousness and to have these kind of experiences, you'd have a lot more people that are thinking about things in a lot more considerate and careful way. And that's what I think the benefit of it is. Yeah. Even if it's not – maybe you're really not contacting God or aliens, whatever it is.
But just the benefits of having it – but I think there's a lot of things that can make people more kind and considerate. Like, in a very counterintuitive way, I think martial arts do. Jiu-jitsu especially. They're the nicest people I've ever met. Like, my friends from jiu-jitsu are the nicest fucking people. Because every day they're trying to kill each other.
And they don't have any of that in regular life. There's no chest puffing. There's no douchebaggery. Like, people that are, like...
the guys that I know that train three, four times a week and are really interested in jujitsu, doing it all the time, they're some of the most peaceful, calm, easygoing, measured, even when they talk to people in confrontations, very measured, because they're coming from a place of strength.
And most men in particular, they come from a place of trying to pretend they have strength in order to intimidate you, to get you on your back foot, get you on the heels. Like, hey, fuck you, man. That kind of douchey kind of shit is just insecurity. And these guys don't have any of that. And it's just a healthier, like, I don't think everybody should do jiu-jitsu. It's too hard.
Don't do it if you don't want to.
Probably not for me.
But I think there's a lot of things like that in this world. I don't think it's just psychedelics. I think there's multiple. I think yoga plays a big factor in that. I remember I got in a car accident when I was on yoga. When I was on yoga.
I was like, we're on yoga? I haven't heard of that.
We're doing yoga so much. Me and Ari Shaffir, Bert Kreischer and Tom Segura, we do the Sober October. And every time we do Sober October, we have these things that we do where we're like, we'll have a fitness challenge or you have to do. I think we had 15 yoga classes in the month. So you had to do like a yoga class every other day for a month. And I got really into it. I was doing it a lot.
And this guy rear-ended me on the highway. And I had a really nice car. And he crashed into me. And he was on his phone. He was texting. And he was illegal. And he didn't have a driver's license.
Oh, shit. What a mess.
And I was so calm about it. I was like, you okay? I was like, I'm okay. You okay? And I was like, I'm just going to take off. You know, I'm just going to get my car fixed. And I just took off. Luckily, he didn't wreck my car. He just bent the back. It was a Porsche. It was a 911 GT3, a very nice car. But his car, it was a little bullshit car, like a little Honda Accord.
And when he slammed on the brakes, it basically went under the back of my car and bumped it up in the air, and it stalled out. And his car was pretty fucked up. He couldn't drive off, but I could drive off. So I just drove to the comedy store. And I was like, okay, why was I so calm about that? I wasn't even mad at that guy. I was like, he's an illegal alien. Excuse me, immigrant.
Undocumented minor, whatever he is. Undocumented immigrant. Just some dude who came from Mexico.
His dad's having a tough day.
I said, why don't you have a license? He goes, I can't because I'm illegal. I said, okay. I go, but yet you still drive. And he goes, I have to for work. I go... I get it.
I get it.
But it was like a very calm. He said he was sorry. I believed him. It was just a mistake. He fucked up. Traffic had slowed. You know, L.A. Traffic like all of a sudden comes to a screeching halt and sometimes people aren't ready for it. And I really think it was yoga. I think I didn't even get mad at the guy. All right, take it easy. I just drove away.
I drove away and I thought about it afterwards. I was like, why can't it be like that with everything? Like what would help me be like that in every situation to treat every interaction with people like as calm as possible and never really get totally upset by anything. Just it is what it is. No big deal. And I was like, man, that's probably a great tool just for society.
If yoga was a thing that most people did every day in the morning, what impact would that have just in the overall population of how nice people are to each other? It would probably be huge.
Oh.
So, like, it's a bad, I mean, I'm not, I don't know if that's obvious to you. Stretching? That I'm not Catholic. I know, but exactly, yeah. Stretching is the devil? But there's something, I don't know. Can you do stretching for Jesus? Yeah.
Why don't someone do yoga, just take the poses and add them with little prayers?
Will you read Bible verses? Yeah, I don't know.
Add them with some prayers, you know?
I am not Catholic. I'm not religious at all anymore, which is why I think that I'm always looking for things. I'm always looking for a way to be religious or in some sense spiritual. I've never done ayahuasca. I really want to do ayahuasca. I've done other things that have been beneficial to me, but I'm searching for that thing. I'm searching for that.
I want to believe in something greater than myself. I think that's normal for people.
And I think that's why a lot of atheists, they talk like religious people. They talk about atheism the same way religious people talk about their belief in God that they absolutely know it's true. It's kind of the same thing. They're like, no, there's nothing. I do not believe in God. There's no evidence there's God.
I'm not that. I'm just agnostic. I'm kind of like, who am I to say what there is and isn't?
Yeah, I can appreciate that. I think there's something going on. I think there's something going on that we're a part of that is too big for us to grasp. Yeah, I think we're like a hand waving over a fucking earthworm and earthworm has no idea what's going on because I think it's too big.
I think just the idea of this infinite space that we live in with who knows how many galaxies and we're on this planet. And we're making babies and you're cooking one up inside your body right now. And you're going on stage and doing stand up and we're having an election and we might have a nuclear war.
And all this shit is happening all throughout the universe, all over the place, not just here, but probably in an infinite number of planets everywhere. The whole thing's too big. And for you to say there's no God, God's not real. It's like you have no idea. You have no idea. And by the way, the evidence of there being something that's forcing this in a general direction is overwhelming.
There's something that's – whether it's some natural properties like Brett Weinstein calls it Darwinian evolution, that it applies to everything and things get better and improve and evolve. Yeah, but what is causing that? What made that? What is the overall force behind this whole thing? What's its goal? It seems to be moving in a general direction all the time.
And that direction is like constant improvement of life forms, of societies, of technology. It's moving in this fucking direction. How do you know it's not God? How do you know it's not the way God works? How do you know the universe isn't God and this is the way it expresses itself?
Yeah, the craziest, and this is the most normal thing to do is get pregnant, but it's the craziest trip I've ever had. It has to be. All I did was have sex. I didn't pick up a license, and now there's going to be a baby in my apartment.
And wait until you start talking to that baby.
That's what's going to be crazy. This is going to be a human that's going to have opinions, and it's going to tell me no. They're going to be mad at you. Yeah, I'm going to be like, I didn't smoke any fucking cigs. I smoked no cigs, and now you're trying to tell me no? I'm going to be like, I should have smoked a pack a day with your ass talking to me like that.
Yeah. But then they'll say, look, I didn't ask to be born.
Yeah, exactly. They're going to find. Why did you make me?
Stupid bitch. You fucking did this.
It's your fault. No matter what, the kid's going to find a way to hate you. Right. Like that's going to find and find a way. I don't I don't know. But it's it's the craziest. It's the craziest trip. And I think it's also that's part of this. I'm always like looking for I'm just like looking for meaning. I want there to be something so badly.
Right.
And that's and I think that we all do.
I really do.
Well, I think that's why people like psychedelics. I think that's why, I mean, it definitely can make you view the world in a different way.
Yeah.
And then compared to all the other drugs, I mean, the worst drug I ever did was Accutane. It made me want to kill myself. This was last summer. I mean, I actually was suicidal. I went off of it.
Multiple people in my life had that same situation.
The way more dangerous drug for me than shrooms, Accutane.
Andrew Santino, the hilarious comedian, talks about it. He said it was one of the worst experiences of his life.
Me too. My brain, I finally decided I was crying on the bathroom floor because I was going to die and everyone I know is going to die. And again, always been true. Always been true. My husband found me on the bathroom floor. And I stopped taking it about a month before it worked out of my system. And then I went back to normal. But at that time, I was like, I've lost myself.
I'm never going to be myself again.
Whenever you have a medication and one of the side effects is suicidal. I know those those ones freak me out because they'll just say it real, real calm. These people are holding hands and spinning around in a wheat field. Suicidal ideation. What?
Yeah.
I experienced that I experienced my brain being hijacked in a bad way by a drug for for zits I was like I'll just and and I was you know you can't drink on it so I was like I was having these extreme reactions stone cold sober but I was on the show sometimes and I would be so depressed and people would be email I'm getting emails like you're like acting like a bitch or you're this and that and it's like no no you know I want to kill myself I don't think I'm too good for people I want to kill myself and it's just scary it was very scary
Well, I'm glad you got off it. Yes. That one I'm never doing again.
Yeah, that one's catchy. Listen, Kat, I really enjoyed talking to you. It was a lot of fun.
I really enjoyed talking to you, too. It was really fun.
Let's do this again.
Yeah, thank you.
Tell everybody about your book one more time, please.
Do you have a copy of it here? I have it outside. I left all my shit outside. No worries. It's called I Used to Like You Until. It's called I Used to Like You Until. And it is all about how one single thing should not be enough to write another person off. It's about independent thinking. It's about connection. And I spill a lot of tea on myself in the book. So the point, I'm naked on the cover.
My body looks nothing like this anymore. But covered in hate mail with the idea of vulnerability in the face of overwhelming hatred. That's great. So I, you know, I had the idea of. And you read it, too. I did read the audio book. Fantastic. Thank you.
I'm so happy you did that.
Yeah. You have to. I have a very distinctive voice.
Well, also, it's like, God, it's not that hard, folks. Do it.
I'm talking about a lot of very personal things in the book.
You want some actor?
No.
This is a man. You should get some old man to do your voice. A British guy. Our first period.
Don't worry, that's not in the book.
Well, thank you, Kat.
Thank you for having me. It was a lot of fun. Me too. I agree.
Bye, everybody.