David Samson tells us how badly a fan would have to get hurt to receive a Mike Lowell bobblehead. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: What is the context of the 'Cuervo' ad segment?
Now's a good time to remember where tequila's story truly began. In 1795, Cuervo invented tequila. Cuervo. What are you doing here? Cuervo. Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up. Well, I do know that to be true, but even during ad reads, like... Cuervo. I think he could lay out, especially for one of our great partners. Sweet, delicious Cuervo. Since then, Cuervo has stayed true to its roots.
Cuervo.
The tequila that invented tequila. Proximo. Cuervo.com. Please drink responsibly.
Welcome to the Big Sui, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.
I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there.
That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar.
This segment is presented by LinkedIn Jobs. Post your job for free at linkedin.com slash DLS. Terms and conditions apply.
David Sampson is here from Nothing Personal. He is doing it every day. It continues to grow. And he covers a ton of stuff that I do not see other people in sports covering. So you should check out Nothing Personal. We have a number of things to talk to you about, David. But I guess the place that I should start...
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Chapter 2: Why is Chris Cody teasing his father?
is that I just heard Greg Cody and Chris Cody have a conversation in which the following was revealed. And I want to know, at what age will Chris Cody stop doing what I'm about to say, okay? At what age will he be as a son before he stops doing this to his father?
His father likes to dictate into the phone instead of texting, just a note to his wife or whomever, hey, I'm going to stop by and grab some avocados, period. And his son shouts from the distance, cock balls.
to see if it picks it up and it does sometimes and it's a it's a laugh riot when it does okay and so my question to you is how when will chris stop doing that like when is that that's off limits at some age is it not i assume only when his heart stops beating i think that a cock balls joke that can go all the way to 120 this guy easy david gets it i don't mind it
You do mind it when I do it, when we're in it. But afterward, I'm laughing out loud at the whole absurdity of it.
Like you would with a three-year-old that misbehaves.
Right. I don't think I've ever failed to catch it, though, and sent that to my wife.
That's the gold standard, right? That would be. As a practical joke, the best thing is that he didn't hear it. His timing was off, and at exactly that moment, he sends it, and he embarrasses himself sending a text to Pat Riley.
It's like asking whether or not a fart joke will ever be not funny. Is it? I think the answer is no. It's always funny. He's always funny.
Before you were on with us, I think you would have found blasphemous and hurtful some of the things that Mike Ryan was saying about his appraisal of Lone Depot Park as a baseball park. And I just like for him to say them to your face because
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Chapter 3: What are the criticisms of Lone Depot Park?
I have before, and he takes it deeply personal because he designed every aspect of that, and I understand, and I'm not conflating what they ended up doing with the franchise afterwards. It just never was for me. I know Jeffrey Luria fancied himself this big art expert, and he was going for something that just wasn't for me. Art is subjective. My whole thing is pick a color.
It was every color at the start. I found it a garish design. I don't like the food options. I don't like being there. It's just not for me. I know that that is not what David intended. This was supposed to be a communal thing. I guess I'm on the line of more traditional, and they were really going for something that was really different, and I guess it works for some people.
It just never worked for me. It bothers me all the time. It bothers my ears. It bothers my nose. It bothers my eyes. Yeah.
i i think you feel better i mean i'm sorry to do that to you again but no i'm just asking like i i'm hoping i want you in light of the irresponsible journalism that happened and befell the show about mental illness i'm just asking do you feel better telling me that you don't understand signage or you don't understand the concept of sales or quadrants i'm just curious if you don't like miro do you feel better
No, not really. I like Camden Yards, dude. I like Comerica. I like other ballparks. I don't like this one.
Did you see, David, where it was ranked? That's what we're talking about. There was a ranking of the MLB. I saw it. It was in the third column. 63 of 90.
Greg Cody had an opinion here, though, that he wasn't allowed to express.
I mean, I think it's a great little ballpark. That's condescending. No, I think the capacity is just the right size for this franchise right now. I think the retractable roof was necessary and smart. I think the look over the outfield wall to the downtown skyline is gorgeous.
I think there's a lot good about it, and I'm not going to retrofit that because I object right now to the way the club is being run by the cheapest owner in all of sports, Bruce Sherman. I could go on and on about that, but I think the ballpark itself is perfectly fine. I like the location as well.
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Chapter 4: Is Bruce Sherman the cheapest sports owner?
It's not as if they have a top three minor league system where the immediate future is guaranteed. He is spending egregiously low. They lose 100 games last year, and the payroll falls by $36 million. If I were MLB or the Players Association, I wouldn't stand for the inexcusably low spending that Bruce Sherman is doing.
But they have a floor, don't they? Like, when all of this is bargained, right, David? Like, what he's saying there, you wouldn't stand for it. They do stand for it. It was negotiated.
Well, there's no actual salary floor. I think what you're referring to, Dan, is that the union has an opportunity to file a grievance. And there was a grievance filed against us and many other teams over the years when the union thinks the payroll is too low. It should be very telling to you if no grievance is filed against the Marlins this year.
It means that the union looked at the books, which they do every year. They get our financial statements. And they see exactly the revenue and they see the losses and therefore they see that there is no grievance to be won. Sometimes they just file it for PR, but other years they know there's nothing they can do.
The Marlins are putting out a payroll that is really related to the revenue that they have, which is bleak.
Do you take some sort of weird devilish satisfaction being in the middle of the idea that you helped ruin the business down here because they can't afford anything because they spent too much buying the team from you?
No, I take pleasure in knowing that that is the laziest take of all time from someone of your stature, that you would say that an ownership group, because they paid too much. It's like saying you bought a house for too much, so therefore you don't mow the lawn. It's completely ridiculous. Or you let the pool turn into moss because you paid too much for the house. Did they overpay for the Marlins?
You bet your sweet bippy they did. But that has nothing to do with the ongoing operation.
By how much? By $300 million? By $400 million? How much did they overpay? By something that would make for a nice payroll if they were spending it there?
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Chapter 5: How do teams handle unexpected incidents during games?
How do you think those conversations go? How would they have gone if something similar were to happen in your line of work?
oh we actually rehearse that mike we rehearse if something happens that interrupts the field of play you rehearse it with your cleaning crew with your security what you would do if there has to be a stoppage because normally it's going to be a spilling of beer or a throwing of popcorn or something that would get on the field but of course you plan for the occasional vomit
And the way you do it is you are sprung into action. You've got people who are assigned the mop, people who are assigned the pail. You've got people who are assigned the spray. You've got people who understand what to do about giving free stuff to the people next to where the vomit happened or where the spill happened in order to make sure that your customers are happy.
So you go right to page 68 of the playbook and that is what the Knicks did and you keep on going. So it doesn't matter whether it's Tracy Morgan, or a person to be named later or nameless later. They very well knew what to do. And it's gross, but it's the least gross thing.
At the end of the games, I would get a report and it wasn't labeled this, but I would label it like the top ten grossest things from the game. Like what happened in the bathroom at Section 104? And you get a report of, hey, there was a stuffed toilet or there was a spill or there was people who were over-served. And vomiting barely makes your top 10.
Okay. I had a follow-up, but now I have like 10 more follow-ups. I guess I first want to start with when you rehearsed it, did you have like an actor with fake vomit that would fake vomit everywhere? And then you do like a whole cleanup thing?
Yeah, but you don't do it with vomit. You do it with you just spill stuff. You spill a liquid. We didn't put chunks in it. We didn't do anything like that to make it vomit. We would just do it with water. We wouldn't even do it with sticky stuff like beer, even though beer is the most commonly thing. The most common thing that spilled in your ballpark is beer.
But no, you don't practice with actual beer.
But then how is your staff ready if it doesn't smell bad or if it's not like a biohazard? I feel like you're going to take different steps there to clean it up than if you just have fake water. I don't think you're doing your staff a service by having just water.
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Chapter 6: What are the top five grossest incidents at a sports venue?
All right. It started in 1968. I'm asking you to eradicate it from your lexicon or update your lexicon. Let's do top five. Chris Cody, get the fanfare ready. Top five grossest things David Sampson has gotten in one of those end game reports. Number five, David.
Number five is a adult who had an accident outside of the bathroom. It's a nightmare. Number four. Number four is someone who thought it would be wise to take their beer cup and fill it with ice cream and then drop it on somebody in a fight.
a good move it's a terrible move it's disgusting and it caused us to actually have to no number three the number three grossest thing that ever came to my desk after a game was when the bat boys with an opposing team and i don't want to make up the team because i can't remember they had a tobacco combination that i hadn't seen before that they couldn't get off the dugout floor
and it caused extra time, which was extra money, to get the dugout ready. If you've never seen a dugout after a game, you don't know what I'm talking about, but it is heinous.
It's sticky brown disgusting.
Sticky, brown, and disgusting, which could describe my number two. Number two, and this is just me with children, I did not want to put any children's bathrooms or changing areas. And the second grossest thing, which to me is very patently offensive, is when somebody, and it's happened more than once, left dirty diapers not in a refuse place. They left it out in the open. That is unacceptable.
Period.
All right. So Sticky Brown. And when you said number two there, were you saying your number two or were you saying your number two in the rankings?
That was my number two in the rankings. Okay. Number one. The grossest thing that ever happened to me is when someone got hit with a foul ball and it opened a gash in their head. And it was their fault because they were on their phone. And it was a quick settlement. But when you go visit them and they're going into the ambulance, it is really gross because the head really does bleed tremendously.
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