Everyone see what's happening with the media? No? Don't Care? Okay! Moving on! Dan shares the details of routinely giving blood in the back of a suburban in the alley behind his home and explains that he's definitely not doing drugs back there. Then, Dan believes everyone on our crew would get their feelings hurt if we trash talked each other the way professional athletes do, and that hurts everyone's feelings. Jessica and Billy flex their athletic bonafides to prove him wrong. Plus, what hurts more: an NFL career or getting your period? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: What is The Big Suey podcast about?
Welcome to the Big Sui, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.
I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there.
That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar.
This episode of the Dan Lovato Show with Stu Gatz is brought to you by Venmo.
Excellent enthusiasm, Roy. You brought strength and effervescence to the beginning of that segment.
Here's the situation here. I got to read the billboard, and then I got to turn your mics on. I got to do all that at the same time. It's really hard to do all of those things.
In Roy's defense, it is a lot that you got going on. And also, I felt like we did Venmo last segment. If we're going to be honest with you, you should have been fine.
Sometimes I sound as bumpers. No, you did great, Roy. Thank you, Roy. Thank you, Roy.
We run a loose ship around here. You may have noticed based on... everything you just saw in the last hour, that we went to the worst of the three sporting events this weekend with eight people, the basketball exhibition game. And I have yet to see any content from that produced by the eight people who just went to San Francisco to party.
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Chapter 2: Why does Dan give blood in a Suburban?
Well, but he came out as a cornerback, was he not? And then they just used him as receiver? Or was it the reverse? I think it was the reverse.
This is where I thought Stu Gatz was going with Googling that. I thought it was going to be a Travis Hunter comp, which I'm like, hey, that's not bad. That's not bad comp. That's pretty good for Stu. But then it was not.
This is what I want help with, though, okay? So the group was making fun of me, Billy, journalist that he is, and me, journalist that I'm not anymore. I made the mistake last week of reporting erroneously that Walter Payton played without socks. Oh, yeah. Jared Payton, his son, corrected me yesterday and said, no, it wasn't socks. It was insoles.
And so the group thought to itself, ha-ha, Dan is wrong. But I thought to myself, playing without insoles seems like something that would hurt more than playing without socks. Like, it was worse than I even thought. So tell me what's right there as someone who knows what that game does to feet. The idea, he liked, Walter Payton liked to feel the cleats on the bottom of his feet.
And so he removed the insoles. I think those protect his feet more than socks would.
Feetness.
Yeah, insoles is worse. To play with no insoles in your, now look, this is the 1980s. So I don't know what insoles were like then, right? It could have very well been a thin piece of paper, right? Because they weren't exactly modernizing the technology of cleats at the time. But for me, it would be harder for me to play without insoles than it would be to play without socks.
It would just also hurt a great deal more.
And my feet hurt so much constantly. All day. My feet hurt all the time. I have a bunion. That is the size of a damn ping pong ball.
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Chapter 3: How does professional trash talk affect athletes?
That's a weird thing to say, but I truly, like when I play basketball every, what, once every 14 months, and I'm playing and I'm trying to be a normal civilian, and then someone will get super aggressive with me and be like, oh, you're a little guy, let me bump you. And it turns me on so much. Like I get chills and I'm like, oh, you just gave me the green light.
I'm going to run into you at full speed, and I don't care anything about what happens to my body. So it is a little bit like where that's just naturally who I am as a person as well.
Well, I mean, no disrespect, though, because I can't. Well, but you didn't answer my question.
Also football.
But the reason you didn't answer it, because I don't mean to disrespect you when I say that any human being should be afraid running around in a secondary. It's a respect of what it is that you do. Any normal mortal considering consequences at your side would worry about, am I going to get blindsided by a 360-pound defensive tackle that I don't see who happens to be running 4'6 in this direction?
No, for sure. For sure. I mean, you have a particular set of skills that help protect you. But also, it's like when I was a kid and I had nothing. I would always like how I would convince myself to do something would be like, would you do this for a million dollars? We all play that game. And so like when I would be going through it, I'd be like, hey, this is for a million dollars.
And I would do this weird thing where I trick my mind into believing that eventually I would be paid a million dollars for running through the stampede unprotected.
I believe it's a different mentality than everyone here would have. And I think I have this right when I ask the question, who do you guys think among us, right? Because when he says he lives for some of this stuff that includes physical contact, I'm always thinking when watching sports, And Anthony Edwards will articulate, oh my God, do I love shit talking?
Do I love going back and forth with somebody? In our workplace, I think if everyone shit talked each other that way, everyone would get their feelings hurt. Like that in the... That we're not built the way that Andrew Hawkins is built where, oh, you want to compete some more? Okay, I'm going to come over the top and anything you say isn't going to bother me and I'm going to keep my composure.
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Chapter 4: What are the physical costs of a sports career?
Don Levatard.
I don't like smutty either.
Stoogatz.
Women stay home in the kitchen where they belong.
This is the Don Levatard Show with the Stoogatz. There was this famous incident of Shannon Sharp shit-talking Derek Thomas that led to Derek Thomas having, like, six unsportsmanlike calls on him.
Well, do you know that this is actually, that you said that because that was my reporting, that story. Like, I'm not kidding. No, I'm going to tell you. Here, I'll do it for myself. Hit it.
You were very close with that. You earned it. Thank you.
That and the Pell Grant. This story actually, gosh, somebody's got to find this. It was a story about sex and the Super Bowl. And I think the story, the 20th paragraph was something about the Dallas Cowboys having that White House that they had where they were, you know, a bunch of the players had a secret house for parties.
Did you mention Eugene Robinson in that story?
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Chapter 5: Can you handle professional sports trash talk?
You wanted to punch me in the face.
Where is this going? My eyes have been opened. Dan constantly talks shit. It's crazy. I did not know this. Hit the entire show with him talking shit. On behalf of others. It's crazy.
Yeah, I mean, wait a minute.
And then he says he doesn't talk shit. That's the funny part. Not that he does it, is that he thinks his style, because his style is different. I would have never said that.
Sorry, I touched the wrong thing. I'm looking for the... Yes, you just explained the show to everybody. Yeah, yeah. I've been doing it for 20 years.
But it's incessant. It's crazy. Like the entire show is built on you talking shit about others and getting them to fight. That's right. We figured it out. Why are you showing everybody the whole thing?
What are you doing? 20 years.
Manipulative machine. Cogged.
Like, what are you, I don't understand.
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Chapter 6: What is the story behind Derek Thomas and Shannon Sharpe?
Another phone. Minor penalty, two minutes, high sticking.
No, that's not the one that I needed. I'm sorry. I'm going to find it in a second. Because how, Mike, how is this dawning on you after 20 years? Like, how is this something you're noticing right now?
How do you press the wrong buttons twice and you don't have to go to class?
You don't get the show.
There it is. Because I'm in charge.
What do you mean? Four minute bit.
What do you mean? How do I get to? It's the thing I do. Mike's just realizing, thank you, Billy. I was looking for that one, too. I appreciate you helping Roy there. Aqua? Yeah, I miss all of that. And yes, I'm shit-talking all show, but I also think it is funny as we talk about the pain of Hawk, how easily he relays when we finally get to it. Hey, this is the pain I'm in.
And what I don't think you guys understand is you look at him and say, no, this is just aging. His pain threshold is miles beyond where ours is. Miles. Like miles and miles still.
He's never had his period.
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