The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: Apple Time, Apple Time (feat. David Samson)
Thu, 15 May 2025
If you were looking for petty comments from bitter Heat fans, this is the place to be. Amin has won 3 titles but has no rings or medals. How is "I grew up with my aunt singing Robert Goulet songs in French" a Boston bonafide? Did you realize that sugar diabetes killed people back then? And David alleges Jeff Passan carries water for agenda-based schemes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: What is the Big Suey podcast about and who are the hosts?
Welcome to the Big Suey, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Levitard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.
I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys?
I've done it. And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar.
This episode is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings, the crown is yours.
Zaslow, why did you just squeal? Yesterday it was a snort. Right now it was a squeal. You pointed to the set of Get Up here in the upper left-hand corner of the studio, and you had a radiant smile on your face. You were just buoyant, and it wasn't Panthers, and it wasn't the hatred of the Celtics or the Knicks. What was happening?
First of all, this is a great morning, because last night was a great sports night. I'm in a fantastic mood. And yeah, it's just funny, because the NFL schedule came out last night, which, God, do I not care. But the NFL schedule came out last night, and they're going over the Jets, the New York Jets schedule. That's a win, that's a loss.
Best game.
That's a win, that's a win. 15-2. I have to assume it's Greenberg. I mean, great, huge Jets fan. I have to assume those were Greeny's picks. 15-2 for the Jets. I'm taking the under.
David Sampson is here right now. Nothing personal is the name of his podcast. What are you laughing about, Sampson?
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Chapter 2: Who are the top fanalists in sports media?
Mike Greenberg. Everyone knows he's a big Jets fan, whatever. OLI, Pat McAfee. Wherever game day is. Yes, anything.
It's a good move. I mean, if you're a wrestling character, it's a great move.
OLI, Jonathan Zaslow. Now we go to the top five. Number five, Mike Wilbon. He'd be so insulted by that. Number four, Bill Simmons. Would he be insulted by that? Too low. Way too low. Number three, Stugatz. Stugatz. Number two, David Tamsen. He's a fan of money. He's the biggest fan of money I know. And number one, how is this even a debate? Stephen A. Smith.
Knicks fans want him near all of this? Yes or no? They don't. They really don't. They don't like him around any of it. They look at him as a bad omen.
I saw the stat the other day in the second round the last three years on TNT. The Knicks are like 7-1 in postseason games. They're like 0-9 on ESPN. In New York, there is a funny thing happening with fans do not want Stephen A proclaiming to be a Knicks fan.
You know who has the Eastern Conference Finals this year? TNT? Yes, sir. All you got to do is win one of the next two, and you're going to the finals.
Ernie Johnson predicted the Pacers. He had it totally right. I think we laughed at him. I don't think anybody laughed. Ernie Johnson, not a lot of people laugh at Ernie Johnson.
When he speaks, I listen, especially when I don't actually watch basketball all that much. So I was like, oh, this is pretty good.
By the way, Julius ran on another great game last night. I don't know if you were watching, buddy. I filled out one of those apology forms online.
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Chapter 3: What happened to the Golden State Warriors in the playoffs?
It's hard to call a dynasty ending. I wouldn't call them suckers. They've got more rings. I assume they have more rings than... Oh, no. Are they tied with the Heat? Starting with Wade and Shaq and LeBron? It may be four all.
No, four three.
Four three. Four three. Yeah. But Butler was pretty good when Curry was healthy. I mean, you've got to admit that.
Can we examine for a second? I need to get to the text from last night because I think you guys will find it interesting. And I also find interesting how often we can reframe the Jimmy Butler story from game to game, series to series, how loud noise in public relations can be around teams.
When I just said to you the most horrible thing I can say about non-injured NBA player where they are in the state of their career. Barkley knows it. Wade knows it. They knew it at the end. Pump fake Jimmy. is not 40 points a game playoff Jimmy. And pump fake Jimmy, what he knows is, holy shit, these guys, these young people, I've toughed them out for 15 years, but here come the young people.
They've got fingers down to their, you know, ankles, and they're hanging on the rim, and they're bigger than me, and now I got to pump fake. And it's not going to be playoff Jimmy. It's pump fake Jimmy because my time's done. My time's over. Minnesota's big, man. What am I going to do? They're really big, and I can't get 40 foul shots.
I mean, I think to Greg's point, though, Golden State probably more than any offense in the league is so dependent on the attention that Steph Curry draws that it changes the entire complexion of the series if he's not out there. And so, Jimmy...
might have looked a lot better had there been the Steph Curry element, because the other thing you got to understand is Jimmy Butler, this is not an offense that's built around him. That's not even an offense that was built with him in mind. They had to adjust on the fly during this stretch of, you know, since early February.
So when you take Steph off the board, more so than just, oh, they lost their best player, it changes the way they play. In a way that, for instance, Boston losing Jason Tatum does not change the way they play. They're still playing the same offensive system in the same scheme. That's not true for the whole state.
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Chapter 4: How has Jimmy Butler's playoff performance been analyzed?
Cutter.
Once Steph went out, it changed everything for our whole team, but especially for Jimmy. Yeah. And okay, and yes, you can tell me, you can say to me, Dan, and they'll come back next year and they'll build it more around Jimmy. And I'm like, Amin, you and I have been talking for about two or three years. You really respect this process.
You know that Golden State is dangerous because they know how to be a champion. And I kept telling you, they're old, they're old, they're old. And you're telling me, Steph's old.
I'm going to stop you right there. Everything you're saying is irrelevant because Steph Curry didn't play. If he had played and they lost, now you get to do this speech. You don't get to do this speech about, oh, they're coming for their stuff. The guy was not playing.
He wasn't out there. There's no stuff that they came for. No, my point is that you got Jimmy to be a number two. You got Jimmy to be a number two because you're recognizing that he's aging. My point is, in the argument about where it is these people argued about money with Jimmy Butler, five years of LeBron James in Miami birthed that. The ego of that, the business of that.
Five years of Jimmy Butler in Miami birthed someone who had the ego of, I'm playoff Jimmy. Everyone else bows to me. I am the things that I believe. The text I got last night is, how many conference finals has Jimmy been to without Tyler Hero and Bam? How many conference finals has he gotten to? He took the five years in Miami. LeBron made it what he made it. Jimmy made it this.
And now the bet is, next year? Next year? That thing's done in Golden State. That ended last night.
This does sound pretty petty to the neutral. I must point that out, which is what I'm sure your text message was, reeking with petty. But I would say, what is Jimmy Butler's biggest moment outside of a heat uniform? It's irrefutable to me. His biggest moment.
It's the practice in Minnesota.
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Chapter 5: What are the different types and values of championship rings?
Ooh, we got a counter judge. To the judge. We got a judge in the face of the judge. I rest my case, judge.
Courts, you think you could just walk into my courtroom and all of a sudden? An expert witness has just testified. This was not a courtroom. We're not in session right now. None of this is admissible.
If you're in the traveling party, you get the A-ring. So there are some broadcasters who would get the A-ring, but then there's some crew members who would get the B-ring. Some players even got a B-ring and then some staff get a C-ring. And so the value, let's say it's $50,000 for the A-ring. It goes down to like $5,000 for the B-ring and about $1,000 for the C-ring.
But don't get me wrong, they're all super cool.
Hell yeah, David. The C-ring's made out of tinfoil, but still, it looks fantastic.
Okay, put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Is Zaz's ring made out of tinfoil at Levitard Show? I also think, though, I think one of the things happening here, David, I don't think I have this wrong.
Show you a C-ring.
But I may have this wrong. Can you guys find for me... The goat one? I don't like the goat one. I told you that. Put the goal on the screen. The rings of the Miami Heat, I believe, the low-end ring of the Miami Heat would be not cubic zirconia. I believe the Marlins would do that to their employees. I don't believe the Heat would do that to its employees. So can I find out?
I'm going to try and find out. Because I don't think the lowest ring for the Miami Heat would be $1,000. I would assume it would be about $5,000.
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Chapter 6: How do sports moments compare to championships in legacy?
I mean, the moment to me, I think of Kawhi missing the free throws in game six, which led to Ray Allen hitting the three.
Also, there's a fictional moment that I've kind of made real. It's kind of like in that Richard Gere territory, but where the legend becomes the truth. Apple time, apple time.
Oh, my God. Dude, do you know anytime I'm doing radio and the callers, we have calls, the callers say, hey, how are you guys doing? I always just say, Apple time, Apple time. And no one ever picks up on it. I love that story so much. I'm with you, Mike. That thing is real. I don't give a shit. It's a real story.
It's a real story. It's very effective to do something that no one picks up on. I like that.
Samson, it's called world building.
You should try it sometime.
Real ballers know. Stugatz got a ring for selling Marlins tickets in 1997. That was a previous administration to David Sampson, but I believe that would be the cubic zirconia ring. I don't believe Zaz's ring is cubic zirconia, and I do believe that makes a difference if it's diamonds or if it's not.
I mean, I have the same ring that the other Heat broadcasters. Like, you think Eric Reid is wearing a, you know, cubic zirconia ring? I don't think so.
I would think Eric Reid would get a big-time ring.
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Chapter 7: What are the sponsors and their messages in this episode?
Well, I don't know what Zazz's role was. The guy who broadcasts the game is naturally going to get a better ring than the guy who does the pregame show or something like that, I would think.
But he's just told you. How would you think that if he's just... Yeah, I'm the source.
Like, I'm the guy. I'm telling you what it is. Did you take it to a jeweler with the thing on his eye? No.
He said, yeah, you're right. No, because it's worth what it's worth to me. I don't care what the dollar value is.
I would never sell it. We would send an appraisal. Did you not get that for insurance purposes? I didn't know. Did you get a document from the heat? Should I? That speaks volumes. Yeah, we gave that to all the A-ring holders.
No, I'm definitely not an A-ring holder. I'm not an A-ring holder. I'm not. Goat ring holder. No, I don't like that goat ring, dawg.
A ring's a ring. I don't think we should be quibbling about what level of ring Zaz has. He's got a ring. Correct. And that is the impressive part because my guess is he's the only one in the room who has a ring. False.
No, that's not true. I just don't wear mine. 24-time champion columnist.
Greg, can you listen? Amin's trying to talk in the other room.
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