Dan attacks the audience off the top of the show for their latest submissions to a sponsored call line and calls them a "never-ending river of shit." It's time to welcome Tony back to the show, and as part of his grand re-entrance, it seems Billy has pranked him. Then, Dan, Stugotz, and (parts of) the Shipping Container praise Donald Trump for two initiatives it turns out they agree with... Guess who finally broke out of the echo chamber? Plus, Tony delivers his Top 5 Miami Smells, the crew questions what cocaine smells like, and Roy makes an all-time mistake with his pronunciation of the word "arepas." Also, Stugotz wonders why we aren't celebrating Jalen Hurts more after his Super Bowl victory. Today's cast: Dan, Stugotz, Chris, Jeremy, Mike, Roy, and Tony. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: Why is Dan upset with the audience's submissions?
Deeply concerned. Chris, can you ask the people in the other room to shut up, please? Yeah, I'm on it. That we've started and that they're really loud over there having a lot of fun, not working. because they can't wait to get into the chat and not work, get into the chat when the show starts, and just fool around. I'm concerned for a reason, okay?
And I hate to say this out loud for anybody to know it, But I would say that the most vibrant time in this show's history was when we had a connection with the audience that had them sort of competing on Clever in a way that reached us during the show, okay? And a lot of people have been criticizing us for a while now about like, this show is not as good as it was.
None of them are as good as they used to be. It's all suck. They're suck.
And I have found that when we try to sponsor something that then requests creativity of this audience, what we get to the take line, the bold take line, is just a never-ending river of shit from our audience competing.
I like the cold cuts one.
Competing on Clever. The Looks Like Game is the audience competing on Clever. And we've opened up a phone number that has the four religious letters of GOTS in it. We purchased that. Do better. That's expensive. You're talking to the audience, right? Of course I am. Like the audience we had was, and I'm not, you know, I'm scared to admit this out loud in front of anyone.
I hope no microphones are near us. To think that Jim Rome's audience might now be more clever than ours because I throw out a take line number where we buy the gots number and all we get is a never ending river of shit from our audience. And then we have to sponsor it.
Then have to go to the sponsor and tell the sponsor, hey, you want to sponsor this river of shit that our listeners, the smartest in the land, the smartest in America, the smartest in sports, Our listeners are just going to produce a never-ending river of shit takes.
But you're insulting them, like, over the air. Like, with Jim Rome, he says, like, have a take, come strong. And that's been the edict from the very beginning. You just lazily toss out a number. So maybe you do need to come a little stronger, but without taking personal shots. And also, the cold cuts one wasn't bad. They are creepy.
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Chapter 2: What prank did Billy play on Tony?
Welcome back, Tony. Hey, Dan. Thrilled to have you.
This thing, this is clearly sabotage. The reason why I know it is sabotage.
It's Billy's.
It's Billy's, A. And B, your honor, there is a obvious screw missing that connects both of these little arms to this thing, right? And that's how you tighten the bolt here. The screw's missing, Dan.
All right, Tony, welcome back. Please, this is what I'm going to ask you, okay? Because over the last four years, there are a number of ways that my resentments have sort of spilled out of me in ways that are unpleasant for everybody.
And what I am going to tell you now, and this is something I should have told you to your face in a private meeting a long time ago, but I have told you a couple of times. Hmm. Your movement in the back row since you got here with those microphones is always loudly noisier than anyone else who works for us in terms of readjusting your microphone noisily.
And so when you come in today after a month off, And your first action is to grab a microphone and have it fall apart in your hands because Billy knew you'd come in and immediately be too handsy with a microphone. Because Billy's got the same ear the rest of us do, which is if there's a bad sound somewhere that someone's producing, we're going to notice it.
But if it's you, he's going to notice it every time. And so that's an obvious act of sabotage there. And it succeeded. Billy, in spirit, has already sabotaged today's show.
It was an absolute booby trap. And Dan, I don't think I grabbed the mic any other way than everybody else does. Mike does the same thing. We both stand. We both grab the mic. I think that's something that you're heavy-handed with it.
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Chapter 3: Why are Dan and the crew praising Donald Trump?
What if the change is 88 cents, though? I always say keep the change. I don't need any coins.
You know, you say that about, you know, nickels, dimes, quarters, all that. If you invested 85 cents and you did it every single day and you did it since you were like 16 years old, you'd have a lot of money.
But I could say that of pennies, too.
Meh.
Meh. How are you not listening to yourself?
I am listening to myself.
I don't want pennies. If you did this with pennies since you were 16 years old, you would have a good deal of money right now.
I do.
You wouldn't be here.
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Chapter 4: What are Tony's Top 5 Miami Smells?
Nothing to do with the straws. No, but you know what I'm saying.
Nothing to do with the straws. Keep the straws out of that. If I'm drinking, if I see the ocean, paper straw. I'm with you. That's how we mitigate this.
I'm not going to do climate change talk anymore. You have rights. In this segment.
In this segment.
In this segment. I am going to move away from climate change talk. Where are you moving?
Oh.
I mean, there ain't anywhere safe. I've been looking. I've been talking to climate scientists. Oh, we're in Ireland. There ain't anywhere. What, an emergency home in Colorado? They did tell us that Asheville was safe. They did. They did. Well, but the parts of Asheville I was looking at, they were safe. They were a different part of Asheville. It doesn't flood. Moved down the list to Orlando.
Got my eyes on you. It's centrally located. I can drink out of a plastic straw.
Orlando is alleged to be the safest place in Florida from all manner of things, but it flooded recently in a way that made me wonder whether Stan Van Gundy was going to live. So, like really, because I had Stan Van Gundy, you know, his house filling up with water, and then what are you going to do?
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Chapter 5: How does the crew feel about climate change and straws?
Oh, a joke you were going for.
After all of these years, he's got a baby now. He has a child? And it's called MMA Hangout. His most beloved child. It is not El Rose. The real El Rose is the one that will bring him riches. The MMA Hangout, which has exploded in popularity because Tony is at the helm of building and hustling his way into, and his dad would be proud of this, creating an entity and a thing that is his.
And so I will go to him now and his expertise, not on Strickland, not on Dana White, but on top five Miami smells. OLI.
OLI, Dan. Cocaine.
What does it smell like? I don't know.
Oh, you don't know.
Oh, come on, Dan.
I don't know what it is.
I don't do it. I like the way it smells.
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