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Chapter 1: What is the main topic of this episode?
I don't know what Amin is doing. He's smiling. There have been three times during the show today that I'm pretty sure Amin is laughing at things that don't have much of anything to do with what we're doing on the show. I think just now, I don't know what to do with this, Jessica, because we've been doing two hours of show unevenly.
And Amin said right before we turned on the microphones, as I was headed toward other subject matter, ah, we buried the lead on the Jimmy Butler thing. Yeah. I know. Jessica, what am I supposed to do with this?
Chapter 2: Why was Amin Elhassan laughing during the show?
What am I supposed to do? You already lost your bet, so stakes on you. Second of all, very dangerous game when you call someone out for laughing off air and then they have to think of something to say. Just happened to me the last time. I didn't want to say what I was thinking. I made something up. I don't even know what I said. You just did it to Amin. Amin, tell us why you're laughing, Amin.
Because I sent him a funny Sesame Street tweet. That's why. Sunny days.
Sesame Sweet.
It was a funny one, right? I mean.
It was hilarious.
Jessica.
So Grover had this like hilarious fake mustache and a hat on. And I said, that's you.
I wanted Jessica.
Akbar? You're right. That's Akbar.
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Chapter 3: How does AI affect historical records?
It was like LeBron and Wade. She was hiding. I was in the middle of talking, and she was laughing and hiding her hand from me in the audience. I've wanted those words for 35 minutes. It is allergy season. Maybe she had to sneeze. No, it was pretty clear she was just laughing with you on a wild Willie Wednesday. That's right.
There are two serious things that I actually wanted to get to with Amin that we have not gotten to. The Cain Velasquez story is something that I wanted to get to. And before we got to that, I wanted to talk for a second because I did think that something interesting actually ended up springing from all of that Jackie Robinson Defense Department stupidity.
from last week whether it comes to the do any of you find yourself alarmed that when it comes to artificial intelligence The stories you get are about the Enola Gay being removed from the record books temporarily because a World War II bomber from Hiroshima had the word gay in it, and Jackie Robbins' history has obviously black in it.
Are you at all confused and scared that artificial intelligence is literally... trying to erase humanity with these stories that are coming out about stupidities because you've got artificial intelligence handling how it is that things are seen as equal.
It's not artificial intelligence doing it. People are using an AI tool to scrape things from websites, but it's people that are behind it. And also, what I'm scared about is that's the second worst thing that's happened around the DoD in this past week. There is another ginormous scandal unfolding.
And that one ain't AI. That's correct.
Human error. Human error. Inordinate stupidities where war plans are being sent accidentally to the wrong journalist.
Not just to the wrong person, to a journalist, right? Like of all the people, like not my nanny, not like- Was it Adam? They said, yeah, Adam Schefter, right? Not Adam, wrong Adam. Adam Lichtenstein is who we're talking about.
Adam from the Sun Sentinel. A star of oddball. Oh, there you go.
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Chapter 4: What were RG3's comments about sports shows?
David Sampson, I never got to the Patrick Ewing off with you and Amin, and I meant to. Are you ready to do that now? You say it's your wheelhouse. Amin says he's got a better wheelhouse than your wheelhouse. Can you please tell me what a wheelhouse is? I don't even know what an actual wheelhouse is. Put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Do you know what a wheelhouse is?
It has to do with boating, I would assume. Wheelhouse?
What do you mean, buses?
I don't know. Do any of you know what a wheelhouse is?
According to artificial intelligence on Google, it says that in your wheelhouse originates from the nautical term for small enclosed area on a ship where the captain steers. So score one for Billy. A seaman. Dan. David. That's a raise for him, by the way, Dan.
Only if it makes it. Only if it makes it all the way. Get to the end zone, then yes.
I'm two for two.
We need the third one, though. That's where the money comes in. Red zone conversion.
Billy, the way that you describe being married, where you have to go to a NASCAR race in order to get a piece of quiet.
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Chapter 5: What are the stakes in the Patrick Ewing trivia?
Do we believe that Shaq forgot that he bought a car and it just showed up at his house? And there are cameras.
There are cameras there. Exactly right.
That was a lot. Why does he do these things? You know Shaq. Why does Shaq do these things?
Because he thinks it's funny. Because he thinks it's funny. I'll be honest with you. By the way, 90% of the stuff doesn't make it out for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is you can't do that one, big fella. I'm going to tell you right now. You can't do that. I'll tell a story. Remember what he called Chris Bosh the RuPaul of big men? You guys remember that one?
So what happened was Shaq caught the ball and made a legal basketball move, and Chris Bosh over-exaggerated the reaction. Refs, toss him. Flagrant two, you're out. And this was before they could review these things. So Shaq comes to the back and sits. with us in the video room, and he's literally workshopping all the things he's gonna say about Chris Bosh at the end.
And we're like, big fella, you can't say that one. No, you cannot say that. So then I was like, what if I say he's the RuPaul of big men? And we all looked around the room and we're like, I think that's just on this side of acceptable.
This is why DEI should exist in all organizations.
Amin was there.
What do you mean DEI? Amin was there.
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Chapter 6: How does Dan Le Batard approach sports betting?
$70,000?
$73,000. So it's $168,000 on a $5 bet. And what I wanted to ask you guys is what is the correct way to hedge that?
Because I'm a terrible gambler.
Amateur. Like a really terrible gambler. I'm not good at it in any way. DraftKings should be ashamed for giving me any of their money, but I give it all right back. Don't say that. It's a contract. I'm just saying, like, I could be the worst gambler there's ever been because I just like... I just want to have... One bet on one game, but a lot of games.
He is the perfect person for DraftKings to pay, because as he just said, he's going to take all of that money right back into the Sportsbook app. They might as well be laundering their money right back.
Well, no. No.
Where's that music?
So my guess is he'll win $7 million.
We already gave it.
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Chapter 7: Should you hedge a parlay bet for $168,000?
They're the best Duke team we've seen in maybe 20 years. A long time. It's been a long time since we've seen this guy. You know what's better than 50 grand cash? What's that? After Uncle Sam taking his piece, which, you know, we're going to leave him with like 30-something. Okay. You know what's better than that? What's better? 168 grand. What? That's a lot of money. I tell baby, hey.
That's a lot of money. All of a sudden, Miami real estate, you know how it is.
We take that money. Jessica is saying she doesn't know and I don't know. And there is a professional way to do this. But what I'm asking all of you is the hypothetical. Would you guys hedge that or would you just try and ride it out? Because I would assume all of you would hedge it to guarantee yourself an amount of money that doesn't wait for whether or not Cooper Flagg's ankle goes again.
Well.
I don't know if they can win it without Cooper Flyer. He makes it easier with Cooper Flyer. Yeah, Cooper Flyer.
I think you have to wait until you get to the final and then just absolutely monster hedge on the other team, right? Because you're still waiting. Because right now you can't just pick Duke or the field for $50,000. I can't take a second mortgage, a HELOC out of my house. and then put it on the field.
I do think that because it was a $5 bet from the jump, this changes a lot, right? Like if it was a huge bet with then a huge payout, maybe you continue to invest. But the fact that you only put $5 on it, it's like ride what that feels like until the end. And maybe you don't come up with $168,000, but in the worst case, you lost $5. No, but you lost $50,000. You didn't lose $5.
The worst case is you lost 50. What kind of math are you doing? Terrible math.
This is why I was a journalism major, Dan. He couldn't sell it to his wife. That's the issue. There you go. Number one, number two. This is why it's giving you that kind of stat of the day. Arithmetic.
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Chapter 8: What are the latest Jimmy John's offerings?
So if I make Duke better at recruiting and better at money than everyone, when I'm walking around now doing the absurd thing of saying, yeah, your roster costs $20 million. That's what it costs in college football. You've got to have $20 million. If Duke gets all of the winnings, And they have a monopoly on annoying guys throughout history. There's no other school.
Is there another school that you assign even two annoying guys to for a Mount Rushmore? In the history of college basketball, is there another school that you would say, I've got two Mount Rushmore America hated this person? When you're talking about everything that Duke represents, all of it. Redick, Grayson Allen, and Christian Laettner are all-time hated players.
I don't even know if we can make those anywhere outside of Duke anymore. Like an all-time hated player because of the school you're at, because we know you're good, because you're arrogant, because you think you're better than everyone, and you slap the court on defense.
Thank you.
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