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The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump's First Day, Jan. 6 Pardons, Klepper Crashes Inauguration | Stephanie Hsu

Wed, 22 Jan 2025

Description

Ronny Chieng on Trump pulling the U.S. out of international treaties and organizations, pardoning the January 6th rioters, dissing Melania, and celebrating with the YMCA. Josh Johnson joins freed insurrectionists on their next criminal adventure. Jordan Klepper Crashes Trump's Inauguration Weekend to talk to MAGA diehards who traveled near and far to witness Trump's... garbage truck? Actor Stephanie Hsu sits down to discuss her new Peacock series, “Laid.” She talks getting her big break in the “SpongeBob SquarePants” Broadway musical, and the importance of “Everything Everywhere All At Once.”See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Audio
Transcription

Chapter 1: What happened on Trump's first day?

43.001 - 75.109 Roy Wood Jr.

Welcome to The Daily Show. I'm Roy Chang. We got so much to talk about tonight. MAGA throws a party, Donald Trump rules by shoppy, and Jordan Klepper freezes his ass off at the inauguration. But you know what? This is day one of the Trump administration part two. So let's get into our brand new segment, the second coming of Donald J. Trump. Yesterday was a momentous day for the country.

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75.189 - 96.725 Roy Wood Jr.

The once disgraced president returning to office after four years ready to enact terrible revenge against his political enemies. But first, party time! And what a party it was! Donald Trump got dressed up in a tux that actually fit him for a change and made his grand entrance in front of a Windows 95 screensaver.

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98.516 - 125.536 Roy Wood Jr.

They played YMCA, which is America's new national anthem, I guess, while Donald Trump did the presidential jerk-off dance because that's not like a song that has its own extremely famous dance moves. Then they brought out a cake with an airplane on it, which is the coolest thing any six-year-old boy can have. And wait, are they giving him an actual sword to cut the cake?

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125.636 - 153.29 Roy Wood Jr.

Oh, don't give him a sword. Now he's dancing with the sword. It's just a bad idea. He really just swung that thing around. We were about three inches away from finding out whether Melania is cake. This was a long night of celebration, and he ended it by thanking everyone who was important to him, starting, of course, with the person standing directly in front of him.

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153.85 - 161.352 Commercial Voiceover

I have a great family. I really do. I just look around. My son Eric has been so incredible.

161.372 - 168.534 Roy Wood Jr.

Okay, I thought you were going to start with Melania, but I'm sure you'll get to her next.

169.127 - 174.632 Commercial Voiceover

Then you have, where is my Ivanka? Have you ever heard of Ivanka? And Jared?

175.993 - 183.72 Roy Wood Jr.

Okay, you know what? He's saving the most important person, Melania, for last.

184.26 - 192.287 Commercial Voiceover

We have Tiffany's here someplace. And Michael. Let's cry our great golfer Don and Don and Chloe.

Chapter 2: What were the pardons related to January 6th?

765.791 - 767.352 Audience Member

No, we do that with Krypton AI.

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768.392 - 772.834 Audience Member

But it wasn't all fun and games. Trump was elected to deal with serious issues.

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773.254 - 776.635 Josh Johnson

But I think the Gulf of America is a good idea, a good name change.

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776.675 - 779.876 Audience Member

Yes. And why stop there? I mean, New Mexico, that's horseshit.

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780.296 - 780.636 Josh Johnson

Yeah.

781.016 - 802.124 Ronny Chieng (performing a bit)

Right? People are coming out in support of more nationalist governments and making sure that we can actually support our people and not globalist elites. Stay out, globalist elites. Absolutely. That is exactly what we want. Are you excited to see Elon Musk up there? I am. And MAGA isn't just for one kind of people. We are for the American people and everybody that that encompasses.

802.304 - 811.068 Audience Member

I think you're going to need everybody to get together to push out those globalist elites. Absolutely. So let's get the richest man in the world from South Africa to come in here and do it. I completely agree. What do you want to see him do, day one?

812.233 - 819.596 Audience Member

Well, I want to see them pardon everybody from January 6th. I want them to free our January 6th prisoners right away. I hope that happens right away. Pardon all of them?

819.696 - 842.169 Audience Member

Yes, all of them. Really? Yes. Do you pardon everybody from January 6th? I think the majority of the people should be pardoned, honestly. But this guy who stole the podium, shouldn't he be pardoned? Yes. For sure, yes. Yeah, I mean, what's that? Who hasn't grabbed a little Snickers bar or a totem of American democracy and walked out the door, huh? This guy's shooting a gun outside the Capitol.

Chapter 3: How did Trump celebrate his inauguration?

946.096 - 946.496 Audience Member

That's it.

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946.856 - 949.859

And the garbage truck. And the garbage truck.

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950.119 - 952.22 Audience Member

Yes, this garbage truck.

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952.58 - 959.145

The MAGA garbage truck that went viral during the campaign will reportedly hit the streets during the inauguration day parade.

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959.325 - 964.128 Audience Member

And these full-grown adults who voted for the president were really, really pumped.

964.529 - 968.912

The garbage truck is here? Yeah. No. I didn't know that.

969.652 - 970.493 Audience Member

The garbage truck is here?

971.822 - 975.605 Audience Member

I did hear that. I did hear it was coming, yeah. What are they talking about?

975.825 - 997.842 Audience Member

That's what I'm talking about. A garbage truck is here. Have you heard about that? No. The one that Trump sat in? Yeah. People were hyped to celebrate a new chapter in America. But as Inauguration Day arrived, there was a wrinkle. The ceremonies have been moved inside. And it meant thousands of MAGA faithful were left to aimlessly wander the empty National Mall. Sparsely attended as of now.

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