The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Bores UAE Businessmen About Sean Duffy & Lee Greenwood Cameos in Qatar | Rep. Jake Auchincloss
Fri, 16 May 2025
Jordan Klepper recaps Trump’s visit to the United Arab Emirates, where he was greeted by a lackluster hair dance ceremony, serenaded a Qatari military base with Lee Greenwood, and twisted discussions about drones into a ramble about Sean Duffy and Pete Buttigieg’s bicycle. Plus, as his Middle Eastern tour comes to an end, Josh Johnson analyzes whether the president accomplished anything. Ronny Chieng tests out effective altruism by joining the Shrimp Welfare Project to ascertain if sparing shrimp from anxiety and painful death is a productive way to be philanthropic.Visit the Shrimp Welfare Project on social to learn more:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ShrimpWelfareProjectInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/shrimpwelfareproject Massachusetts Democratic Congressman Jake Auchincloss joins Jordan to unpack his recent 27-hour markup session of the House Energy and Commerce Committee. They discuss how the proposed Republican-led legislation would cut Medicare and Medicaid for Americans, whether the two parties can find common ground, if Trump is causing a “constitutional crisis,” and a path forward for Democrats addressing rising prices for housing, the cost of energy, and issues in education.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Chapter 1: What happened during Donald Trump's Middle East visit?
We have so much to talk about tonight because Donald Trump spent the week in the Middle East as part of his dictator study abroad program. But you know what? Today was his last day. So let's see how it all came together with another installment of Trump Meets World.
International humiliation, one after another.
This morning, Donald Trump said goodbye to Qatar, but not before making an appearance at an American military base, where he sashayed for the soldiers. Oh, look at that. That's sexy, right? Oh, that's sexy, yeah. Show the boys what we're fighting for over there, right? Sexy baby.
And of course, Trump once again was serenaded in person by proud-to-be-an-American singer Lee Greenwood, which begs the question, did Donald Trump kidnap Lee Greenwood? I mean, I get having him sing at a campaign rally, but dragging him all the way to Qatar? Is Greenwood like that Mad Max guitarist? You know, is he just chained to Trump's podium at this point?
Lee, Lee, Lee, are you being held against your will? If you are, give us a sign. Struggle to hit the high note.
God, he needs help.
Oh, God. Oh, God. Someone call Liam Neeson! Or... or Mel Gibson, probably. He'll do it. Yes. Anyway, after blue-balling our troops, Trump was off to the United Arab Emirates, the country Americans always click on accidentally on the drop-down menu. Remember when we used to be at the top all the time? You know what? You want to win my vote? Make that your campaign promise.
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Chapter 2: Why did Trump ramble about drones, Sean Duffy, and Pete Buttigieg?
Chapter 3: How did Lee Greenwood get involved in Trump's Qatar visit?
And of course, Trump once again was serenaded in person by proud-to-be-an-American singer Lee Greenwood, which begs the question, did Donald Trump kidnap Lee Greenwood? I mean, I get having him sing at a campaign rally, but dragging him all the way to Qatar? Is Greenwood like that Mad Max guitarist? You know, is he just chained to Trump's podium at this point?
Lee, Lee, Lee, are you being held against your will? If you are, give us a sign. Struggle to hit the high note.
God, he needs help.
Oh, God. Oh, God. Someone call Liam Neeson! Or... or Mel Gibson, probably. He'll do it. Yes. Anyway, after blue-balling our troops, Trump was off to the United Arab Emirates, the country Americans always click on accidentally on the drop-down menu. Remember when we used to be at the top all the time? You know what? You want to win my vote? Make that your campaign promise.
What the is that?
A group audition for a Pantene commercial? Is that a threat? Like, work with us or we'll clog your drains? But look, look, this wasn't a sightseeing trip. Trump was there to talk business. So the main event of the day was a roundtable with some of America's top defense contractors. A chance for Trump to be focused on selling American goods. So make that sales pitch and bring it home.
We're coming up with a new system of drones, because drones are really, if you look at the war that's going on, it's horrible. When you look at what's happening with Russia and Ukraine, the drone is killing tremendous numbers of people. You hide behind a tree and the drone comes down and it circles you with fire. You don't have a chance. The tree comes down also, by the way. It's so intense.
I mean, you see these trees being knocked down like they're being sawed down by a top-of-the-line timberman, like... Like, you know who? Sean Duffy.
Uh-oh. Okay. Okay, this was about drones. We're getting off track here. Not about trees or the Timberman, so let's get back to the drones and forget about Sean Duffy.
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Chapter 4: What was the reaction of UAE businessmen to Trump's speech?
So we went from drones to lumberjacks to to Sean Duffy to Pete Buttigieg back to Sean Duffy as a sexy lumberjack. And I won't play the rest for you because he went on for 13 more minutes with mentions. And this is all true of the stock market. He got into there for a little bit. Lee Greenwood, obviously. And how the 2020 election was rigged.
And in case you're wondering when he weaved his way back to the drones, he never f***ing did. Leader of the free world, everyone. So, that was the end of President Trump's visit to the Middle East. The question is, after visiting three countries in four days, did the whole thing yield any results? To find out, let's go live to United Arab Emirates with Josh Johnson.
As-salamu alaykum, Jordan.
Okay. What was your takeaway, Josh, from the trip? It seemed like kind of a business as usual for Trump.
What are you talking about? This is a life-changing trip for Trump. Don't forget, this guy used to hate Muslims. He tried to ban them from the country. He called President Obama Barack Hussein. And he capitalized every letter in Hussein. screaming it with his thumbs.
Yeah, I mean, he seemed to not like Muslims.
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Chapter 5: Did Trump's Middle East trip accomplish anything?
Not like? He didn't know the difference between Qatar, Saudi Arabia, and the UAE. He called them Little ISIS, Big ISIS, and ISIS Tokyo Drift. But then he visited their lands, and they showed him their culture, and they taught him their history. And then they gave him a $400 million jet, and it was something about all of that that now he loves Muslims.
Chapter 6: How did Josh Johnson analyze Trump's Middle East tour?
It's beautiful. Yeah, I don't know if it was all of that. It might just be the free jets.
You cynical son of a bitch. Why can't you believe in something beautiful, all right? Point is that Trump is changing. It doesn't matter why. If I'm being honest, I can relate. When I first started at The Daily Show, I didn't really fuck with white people like that. But then one day, one of my white coworkers started leaving me free yogurt in the fridge. And I realized white people weren't devils.
They were people who gave me free yogurts.
Wait, that's you who keeps taking my yogurts?
A lot of white people put Klepper on their yogurt Klepper. I don't think that's true. The point is that people can change. Trump is living by Martin Luther King's dream. Judge people not by the color of their skin, but the contents of their wallets.
Okay, Josh, I hate to be that guy, but I don't think you're remembering black history correctly.
Wow. Wow. Okay. I can't believe you're white-splaining black history to me during Black History Month. Oh, it's... It's not Black History Month, Josh. How dare you? You know, I was right before. You are a raging bigot. More like Jordan Hussein Clifford.
Okay, you know what? What if... What if I gave you a yogurt? I appreciate your culture. Thank you very much. Josh Johnson, everybody. We come back. Ronnie Chang loves seafood too much. Don't go away.
Hi, I'm Bob Pittman, chairman and CEO of iHeartMedia. On this week's episode of Math & Magic, I'm sitting down with the one and only Bobby Bones. We're exploring the power of audio.
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Chapter 7: What is the Shrimp Welfare Project and why does it matter?
Listen to Math & Magic, stories from the frontiers of marketing on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Welcome back to The Daily Show. There's a lot of good causes you can donate your money to, but what about confusing causes? Ronny Chieng discovered one.
There's nothing I'm more passionate about than donating to charity. Hey, do you want to save the environment? No. And I'm not the only softie out there. Over 3 billion people a year... You got a dollar, man? Shut up, man. I'm trying to talk about charity here. Donate their time and money.
Cookies for sale!
But for do-gooders like myself, how do you pick between so many deserving causes? Meet finance bro turned philanthropist Andreas Jimenez Zoria.
I was working in investment banking. My wife was helping refugees and I saw how meaningful her work was and I decided to do the same.
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Chapter 8: What is effective altruism and how does it relate to charity?
Oh, so you're helping refugees?
Well, not quite. I'm helping shrimp.
What?
The shrimp welfare project.
Why do you care about shrimp? It's shrimp.
Well, there's a lot of evidence that they can feel stress and pain.
So you decided to dedicate all your time and money into saving the lives of shrimp?
Not quite. We're actually working to reduce the suffering when they die.
So after all your work is done, they still die?
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