The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Tue, 29 Apr 2025
In the depths of the city of angels, where devilish sinners prance, There live two drag queens, luring innocent souls to Gomorrah with their twisted dance. With rainbow flags flying, amidst the woke chaos no one can hear, The cries of good 'ol Americans drowning their sorrows in watery domestic beer. But down in the South, where mint juleps flow like water and the bayou air is pure, The laws of the Crawdad and the Bible are the only cure. So put down that wig, makeup, and butt-plug, and travel with us to where cornfields sway, Escape the madness of the big city of L.A., and order a bowl of Crawfish Étouffée. Need a website or domain? Check Out Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, head to: https://www.Squarespace.com/BALD to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain! Hims can help you find the ED option that's best for you! Start your free online visit today at https://Hims.com/BALD Now is the time to join the Naked Wines community! Head to https://NakedWines.com/BALD, click ‘Enter Voucher’ and put in our code BALD for both the code AND password for 6 bottles of wine for JUST $39.99 with shipping included! That’s $100 off your first six bottles! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://BetterHelp.com/BALD and get on your way to being your best self! Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT To check out our official YouTube Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/TrixieAndKatyaClipsYT Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: https://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatyalive.com To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: https://workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: Who are the main hosts of 'Take Us Back to Gawd's Country'?
Hi, we're here. Hi. This is the hat I told you I was wearing at the Australia Macca's when I said I looked like Jennifer Lopez. I love it. I did know who that model was that you mentioned in the last episode.
Alex Kansani? Yes.
Y'all better pour one out.
I knew her face, but I didn't know her name. Pour several ones out for Miss Kansani because she is giving you all... She likes us. She does. She loves you in particular. The way that I watch this woman's videos, she is just effortlessly fucking hysterical. So quotable. Constantly raising the bar for all of us. Constantly. And doing it flawlessly. You go, girl. You go, girl.
No, she's like, oh, God. You got to watch. Highly recommend people watch her on Amelia de something. Chicken shop date. Highly recommend you watch her. I don't think she's done hot ones, but she is just every interview. She's on the press tour. She's on the circuit. Mama, she's doing the circuit. She invented the circuit. She's on Cirque du Soleil. She is just a riot. I love her so much.
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Chapter 2: What are the hosts' thoughts on lighting and video production?
I'm nervous because I did a YouTube video the other day. So I did a show for a friend of ours. And the show has like an overhead dim light. And I got there in drag and was like, So I'm probably going to look fucking awful.
You know, so are you aware of what a dewlap is? D-E-W-L-A-P. I think it's a double chin. It's like a gobble kind of sort of idea. But anyways, the point is... A dewlap? A dewlap. I've never heard of it. I'm performing at the dewlap stage at Coachella. Yeah, dewlap tires on my truck.
There's... No, it's like the... It's a bad lighting and bad camera angle that emphasizes you're like... Oh, I like that. Yeah. And it's... Someone had pointed out this... terrible direction in lighting on this YouTube video on a pretty successful channel. I was like, Oh, interesting. I mean, you know, it's all, all of them.
They all have horrible light. I'm not, I'm not just joking on our channel, my channel at this point. Yeah. Like you got to check out. We have the most beautiful lighting. Everybody looks incredible on our channel and you go to other people's channels. And it's some straight guy with a barn light and a flickering light bulb and a candle.
There's a light candle. There's the, I mean, I, I'll never forget that the Hollywood reporter round table with Ms. Jolie and friends. And then that, uh, the French chat show that's in the round. Mama, you can't come for this lighting. Nobody's ever recreated anything more beautiful for a person. Every star that appears on that show is the best they've ever looked in their career.
It's wild, but it's millions and millions of dollars of like rigs.
yeah it's true i mean it's also not it's also just like where you put them and how you you know well i mean yeah they this show for example had like seven or six concentric um uh rigs of lighting and then they had lighting um in the um in the desk and it was so fascinating so fascinating you have the good light oh my god in queen of the universe we had a a gold rope light at the judge's desk so you would have this also gold under so no double chin so cunty i have to tell you something because you know when we talked about um
Who gave? Oh, Scarlett Johansson was like, I don't want to be like, I don't want to be identified in this moment with you, which I love. I got this new shit from Christina Ricci. You got to know about this. Christina Ricci got through rough times by talking to birds. This is in the wall street journal magazine. And I, first of all, Love her. And birds. And birds.
Oh.
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Chapter 3: How do Trixie and Katya interpret and relate to spiritual practices and prayer?
Very reasonable.
But the first half of it, I went... Beg.
Begging? I beg. I have to take off all my clothes. I draw a salt circle.
Girl. I immediately thought of when COVID started and Ellen would post those like no makeup crying backyard pictures. And I, you know. So hard not to relate. So hard not to relate. Yeah. Crazy. But that was a great answer where it's like, that's kind of how I feel about prayer, which is I don't really think God is listening, but it is a form of centering your intention and saying what you want.
Absolutely. It's like, please God. When was the last time? Oh, fucking hell. I forget. But yeah, it's like you're reorienting your consciousness toward a goal or away from a bad behavior or away from sadness, heartache, whatever. So yeah, you're literally just, it's like a compass. You're reorienting your thought process. You're Lebanese, you reorient. Thank you.
It doesn't matter if you're H-I-M or S-H-I-M. Shim.
Doesn't matter if you love him or capital F-U-C-K-M-E in my P-U-S-S-Y. It doesn't matter if you love him or you take hymns. See? I have to ask you, when's the last time you went to church?
Ooh, mom, I go to church every day with Miss Jennifer Hudson. I've already been to the water. No. I... I think it's actually been... Fuck off.
Fuck off. Was it the time you went in and you were... No.
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Chapter 4: What is the duo's experience with church and their humorous takes on it?
Well, Maggie Smith was trying to get you tied down there, but you said, I don't, you gotta give me, I don't want to do this. This is not my destiny. I love that scene in that movie.
That movie's so good. So good. I love Whoopi Goldberg. She's amazing. I love that. When I watched, I mean, I always loved Sister Act when I watched The Color Purple on Christmas. I cried so many times with Whoopi Goldberg in that movie.
I thought that was a comedy.
Just kidding. I'm just kidding. No. No, it's gut-wrenching. She's such a good actress. And I love in Sister Act, that scene where she gets them to sing for the first time. And I think they sing. I think they sing.
Genie in a Bottle.
Oh, Marie. They sing Try That in a Small Town. And then Miss Professor McGonagall, what's her name? Maggie Smith. Maggie Smith comes up and is about to like read her. And then the priest guy comes up and is like, oh my gosh, we haven't had that much energy in this church. Thank you so much. And Miss McCook has to close her mouth and not you, her. Miss Smith. Magdalene Smith. Magdalena Smith.
She has to like...
She gets gagged. Gagged. Love it. Miss Maggie Smith. The power of music. And the power of Maggie. Right. Maggie Smith, she has... I was just writing on my little letterbox. Is she dead? She's died, unfortunately. She was amazing. I believe she has passed. She was a legend. She was amazing. Legend, legend, legend. She was in this movie that was...
Years before the movie Clue was made, she was in Murder by Death, a murder mystery. Stupid, crazy, a lot of racist elements in this movie. Okay. But she plays this high society wife of a detective. And she has so many amazing line deliveries like, Who would want to steal a dead naked body? And then her husband whispers in her ear something. She's like,
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Chapter 5: What are Trixie and Katya's opinions on Drag Race and reality TV shows?
Get me the name of the friend. Where is the ATV?
Get me the name of the friends. She makes a meal out of that word. Friends.
She chews that scenery up from that courtroom, from that little thingy. She's vicious and, yeah.
Where was the ATV? Gave it to a friend. Do you have their phone number, name and phone number? No. That's too bad. That's too bad. I also love when she have you seen that clip of her she's talking to that guy and he has his mouth open like this oh yeah she's like and she goes she's like doing pantomime theater love that shit I think she might be conservative though
Judge Judy? She's a fucking red state billionaire. Like, don't raise minimum wage. Like, wacko. She's kind of like faggy and cunty. Yeah. Wait, have you seen the gay clip from Curb Your Enthusiasm? The gay clip? The gay kid, the flamboyant kid from. No. Oh, my God. This might be a little. It's only a minute and a half. Hold on.
Hi. Hi.
My name is Greg.
Is it? Yes. My name is Larry.
Hi.
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Chapter 6: What are their thoughts on international Drag Race versions and contestants?
He started a war. He didn't really care for Jews. He thought they were a bit much.
I would kick his butt.
Would you?
Yes.
Good for you. What are you watching in there?
Project Runway. Good show.
And what do you like about it?
The fashion. It's like the best show ever.
You like fashion?
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Chapter 7: How do Trixie and Katya discuss car troubles and their ideal vehicles?
Chapter 8: What is the funny Judge Judy courtroom audio clip about?
Oh, thank you.
Well, you're very welcome.
So, what are you drawing?
Oh, I'm just doodling. That's a Hitler mustache. That's Hitler hair.
What's a Hitler?
Hitler was a bad man.
A bad man?
Very bad man.
Oh, my God.
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