The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for Gays with Trixie and Katya
Tue, 20 May 2025
Do you love the idea of space travel, but hate the color blue and happen to be super gay? Introducing Pink Horizon! The universe’s first fabulously queer space exploration company. Final frontier? More like fierce frontier! Ooh there ain't no other way...to the cosmos, that is! Powered by science, pride, and just the right amount of interstellar trimix, we're gaying up the galaxy one phallus-shaped rocket at a time! Pink Horizon: to the Moon, the Goon, and beyond! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://Betterhelp.com/BALD and get on your way to being your best self! Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to https://Zocdoc.com/BALD to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today! Start listening to amazing audio books and discover what’s beyond the edge of your seat! New members can try Audible now free for 30 days and dive into a world of new thrills. Visit https://Audible.com/BALD or text BALD to 500-500 today! We love Hungryroot and so will you! For a limited time, get 40% off your first box PLUS get a free item in every box for life! Go to https://Hungryroot.com/BALD and use code BALD today! Hims can help you find the personalized ED option that works for you. Start your free online visit today at https://Hims.com/BALD Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT To check out our official YouTube Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/TrixieAndKatyaClipsYT Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: https://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatyalive.com To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: https://workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: What is the purpose of Pink Horizon?
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I just wanna, I have like so much in my mind going on. Are you okay? If I ever get a chance to go to space like Katy Perry. Yeah. I know that it's like bad press. I know that it's whatever. I want to go to space. And if I ever get that opportunity, I know it might make people mad and it might seem tone deaf or whatever, but I'm going to space for 11 minutes. Do it. Because guess what?
She's been to space 11 minutes longer than me or anybody I'll ever meet. And I think space is cool. And if it makes the whole world turn on me, I will still be like, bitch, I see you all. I seen you in this tiny blueberry in the sky. And I know your tea. I could see your house. I could spit on you from up there. But see, you'd be so connected to love upon return that it wouldn't matter.
Gun to your head. If you got a free trip to space for 11 minutes today, would you go? On the Blue Origin? Yes. No, I would not. You wouldn't go to space just to see it? No, because I don't even want to get on an airplane. But I'm saying like, I would also take a free submarine trip. I would also take like, if it's somewhere exotic, I'm going.
Baby, I'm not going to be another billionaire going down and getting crushed like a bug. I know. In that little submersible, which is Conti. I know. We're probably going to flip a tour bus and die anyway. Thank you.
Okay.
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Chapter 2: Would you take a free trip to space?
No, it's not a Quentin Tarantino movie.
He might have produced it. He plays George Clooney's brother and it's exciting to see him in a movie. Quentin Tarantino? He was great in that movie. I forget. He's like the pervy brother. Oh, pervy. Now that makes sense. He's always the perv. Yeah. And Salma Hayek as the hot Vampire. Baby, that's the prototype. With the breasts. I'm sorry to say about breasts.
No, that's the photo you print out on your desk jet printer and give to the surgeon. It's so. That's the photo you give to the doctor, baby. She comes out with the hat on with the feathers. And there's a part where she picks up someone's beer bottle, takes a drink of it, and then pours it down her body. Mama. And she's writhing. When that lager's flowing through those fucking titties.
I don't remember that. I think I remember reading that she improvised it. Like she made up that little dance and did it. Yeah. And then she took a shot of a Jägermeister right up the twat. Selma, if we ever get to work together again. We saw her. I mean, we saw her breasts and purses. Sorry. We didn't bring up Dust Till Dawn because we were celebrating Black Mirror. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I was obviously too embarrassed to say anything. But... Mama, I don't know what it is. Genetics and maybe being, you know, the power of having every treatment and resource at your fingertip. That hoe looks perfection. Girl, she's killing it. How about the video of her swimming in that pool? Slow motion. Mama. I jerk to it. Right. I can't help it. No, but you got to see Sinners. You will love.
I can't wait. It's cunt. Have you ever had a Krispy Kreme? Are you? Was it Krispy?
Am I a Krispy fan?
Was it Krispy? It was. No, it was very soft and sugary. Right. Right. Fresh. It was hot and it's fresh. Do you really not know what that, that TikTok of Krispy Kreme? I'm thinking about that Krispy Kreme. I got something for you. So, you know, love on the spectrum. One of my favorite shows, this audio has been swimming in my head. So it's, have you ever seen that show middle ground? No.
So they'll have like anti-vaxxers versus doctors and they'll post things like, I believe vaccinations are good. And then people will come to the middle and they'll sit in the dark under a flickering fucking light bulb and they'll debate. So it'll be like pro-lifers and pro-choicers or opposites, you know. What happens then?
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Chapter 3: What are the consequences of going to space?
Girl, this is... To your great embarrassment. I'm really excited for tonight. It's a really good show. The DJing is great. I love the music. I love the visuals. I love the numbers. The audience... I mean, the audience is... I went to Cowboy Carter last night. We'll talk about it, but... Audiences, dress up more for my show. Baby, listen, let me tell you something.
When I waltz onto that dance floor looking better than you and all your dancers in the most incredible pink outfit looking snatched, looking 20 years old, looking wet and hot and sexy and doing dance moves that people have never seen before. Sorry. Go home jobless. Can I tell you last weekend, though? I can't wait to see your numbers. Last weekend was three shows in a row.
And let me tell you the routing. Denver, Montreal, Pittsburgh. Perfect. Makes sense. Did you drive? Oh, barely slept. So this weekend, it's LA... Oakland, Salt Lake City. Much better. Much more humane. But last weekend, this is not, before I say this, let me say this is not shit talking venues. This is not shit talking anybody. Owners, promoters, agents, managers, venues. Bravo, bravo, bravo.
Last weekend, Pittsburgh was so hot. So hot. We're up in 2025 dealing with this shit. I can't. I was cold at Beyonce. There were tens of thousands of people in there. I was Pittsburgh. I was, I mean, buckets of water. Corset soaked completely through. And I know that I bring it on myself because I'm in a corset. No, you do not. No, you do not. No, the fuck you do not. No, you don't.
You guys, I don't want to, come to Saltpink Disco, everybody has tickets. It's hot and I have been on death's door. We're talking going off stage and during my makeup change, this is what you hear while I'm fixing, I'm painting foundation background. Like wet, wet mud. Panicking. When you're so hot that you're actually panicking. Absolutely.
And you're trying to mix olive oil and vinegar or no, whatever, olive oil and water. You're trying to make two things come together that won't because of the sweat. And when I'm putting makeup on and I hear the go-go's outside the door going, oh my God, it's hot. I can't breathe. And they're in Speedos. They're in G-strings. And they're going, almost blacked out. It was so hot.
I gotta have some water. I'm standing on the other side of the door looking like Elliot with two Ts. When a naked man comes out covered in sweat, I'm like, well, call the coroner. If you're cold, they're cold. Bring them inside. We're gonna need the morgue up in here. Is it gonna be hot at this venue, Mama, tonight? What's the T? What's literally the T? The temperature. Mary... Mary?
Should I come in my two-piece? I have been so hot at these shows that I have been questioning my entire participation in the art of drag. I just have been like, what the fuck are we doing? I think that you should reroute that questioning and point it towards your representation.
I was just like, I was not this hot at Hamburger Mary's Milwaukee where they're frying burgers over an open flame grill feet from where I'm doing a Dolly Parton number. It's charbroiled drag and it's cooler than this. And I'm like, so if it was hot at 21 in the nightclubs and it's hot at 35 as... one of the most famous drag queens in the world. The? There is no end. Yeah. There is no end.
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