The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Lifting the Gossamer Curtain to the Other Side with Trixie and Katya
Tue, 27 May 2025
If you need answers about your past life, we're here to help. As we gaze into the swirling mists of the unknown, we're seeing you. Not "you," but rather a past you. You're wearing a funny hat and white stockings. You're Henry Picklethorpe Wigglesworth IV, the Viscount of Golden Balls, Oxfordshire. Your estate, Hairy-Knob-upon-Fanny-Bottom, was famous for its 27 chimneys, haunted marmalade cellar, and the location of the only documented UK marriage between a man and a swan. You routinely bathed in earl grey tea and while loathed by most of the village, you were beloved by the local cabbage farmers due to your penchant for drunken cabbage copulation in the town square. Your current life is still echoing with aristocratic absurdity, so go forth knowing that whatever happens to you in this life, it'll never be quite as embarrassing as humping a cabbage under a full moon after drinking three bottles of absinthe. Traveling this Summer? Find exactly what you’re booking for at https://Booking.com Booking.YEAH! Book today on the site or in the app! Start listening to amazing audio books and discover what’s beyond the edge of your seat! New members can try Audible now free for 30 days and dive into a world of new thrills. Visit https://Audible.com/BALD or text BALD to 500-500 today! To honor the complexity of human desire, Feeld presents you all the options and leaves you in control of your experience. Download Feeld now on the App Store or Google Play! Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT To check out our official YouTube Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/TrixieAndKatyaClipsYT Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: https://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatyalive.com To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: https://workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com Listen Anywhere! http://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast Follow Trixie: Official Website: https://www.trixiemattel.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/trixiemattel Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/trixiemattel Twitter (X): https://twitter.com/trixiemattel Follow Katya: Official Website: https://www.welovekatya.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/welovekatya/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katya_zamo Twitter (X): https://twitter.com/katya_zamo About the Podcast: The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya features a pair of grizzled gay ghouls sitting on chairs, holding microphones, and discussing their fabulous lives in Tinseltown. (featuring occasional forays into movies, television shows, and air-conditioning) The New York Times called them models, moguls, actors, influencers, drag queens, RuPaul's Drag Race contestants, and even humanoids. If one thing can be said about these two preternaturally gorgeous queens' podcast, it's that Trixie and Katya find the sheer, unadulterated beauty of pure insanity. Tune in every week to experience the auditory pleasure that is The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya. #TrixieMattel #KatyaZamo #BaldBeautiful Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: What is Booking.com and how can it help my vacation plans?
This episode of Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by Booking.com. Booking.yeah! From vacation rentals to hotels across the U.S., Booking.com has the ideal summer stay for absolutely anybody, even those who might seem impossible to please.
Whether you're booking for yourself, your partner, your sleep light, rise early mother, or your high-maintenance group chat, you can find exactly what you're booking for on Booking.com. We all know that when we go places, there's always that one friend who has a million demands but refuses to participate in any of the legwork of actually booking the trip. I hate that bitch.
Because even if you pay for everything, somebody will complain. And it still might be me. I like to find my perfect stay on Booking.com and anyone can. Find exactly what you're booking for. Booking.com. Booking.yeah. Book today on the site or in the app. I just heard that FX has a new original comedy series coming out called Adults, which after watching the trailer feels all too familiar.
Adults is a comedy that will feel relatable if you ever find humor in the struggles of being an adult in 2025. You know, like remembering your full social security number.
or to drink water or perhaps you're having the third existential crisis of the month best part is that all episodes will be ready for your next weekend binge watch fx's adults may 28th on fx all episodes streaming on hulu oh my god somebody just dm'd me one of the flyers from solopik disco and said are you going Love that. Probably. I'm planning on it. Is that okay? Damn.
I just... Bald is... Drop the daycare, sis. Bald is beautiful feels like all drag is valid. Mama, let me tell you something. You got a nice shaped head. You shut the fuck up. Thanks. Okay. Sure. Hey, I don't have to fuck me. That T. That's the ultimate T. You put that on a bumper sticker or a sash. Everybody needs to remember that. If you want a deep sea dive in a heap of trash, that's on you.
That's your garbage kink, okay? That's your life. Don't fault me for being open. I sent this to our lovely producer, Tracy, because I heard it and thought of you. And basically, it's a TikTok about like, oh, we didn't have therapy in the 90s. We just had daytime talk shows like this.
I have a really bad problem with social anxiety. I can't freaking out. I can't. You're doing pretty good now. But let me tell you where this comes from. You were accused of being a witch in a past life. You were put in a circle and you had to name yourself. Two people so that supposedly you wouldn't die.
The girl's just crying listening to this.
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Chapter 2: What are the challenges of traveling with friends?
You're so make believe you fucking have that way. That's Raffaella Cara. Do you mean Sylvia Brown? No, is that Sylvia Brown? In another life, Sylvia Brown was Raffaella Cara. No, in the same life. In the same life. Just in Italy. Okay, so how was Beyonce? It communicated. Can I say, the short of it is, it's the only thing that's made me proud to be American in a long time. Really?
It just was like... I know this wasn't the primary messaging, but the fun part of the messaging, which is like, I'm beautiful. I'm talented. I'm confident. I'm a mother. I'm an artist. I'm the best thing about America. And I am a black woman. A mare I can. And she's clips of her from younger. It's like, I'm the American dream. Which is true. I'm empathetic. I'm proud of where I'm from.
I'm proud to be black. I'm proud to be a woman. I'm proud to have gay people in my orbit. And without being too finger waggy, like I actually think a conservative could go watch it and have a good experience and not feel like we're... They would do that thing where they're like... I don't think they would.
Cause I, she comes out singing about America and I think they're like, yeah, America's the question. Like, I think they could still get that out of it. How many times did she do the star, star spangled banner? She's saying part of it once. Are you kidding me? Dead serious. Pledge of Allegiance? Well, she wouldn't stop saying that.
Oh, by the way, when she's saying the Star Spangled Banner, I went like this. And I have not felt the need to do that in probably fucking 10 years. I did this first. I was like, oh, no, no. Right? And the person next to me, I go... And I like made people around me, but they're taking their hats off. But I went wearing this, a camouflage hat and big dad glasses.
And I took a picture with the big flag. And I was like, if you were scrolling, this looks like David and God's country. Oh my God. Try that in a small town.
Yeah. Yeah.
It was the best singing I've ever heard in my life. For real? She flies around. It was the best stadium show I've ever seen. And it was amazing. Well, Miss Nose Carter always sucks it to you. The singing. The singing live is hard to believe. That's where you lose me. She could be just singing and you're like, this is the best. You think she could do a real, she could do a park and bark.
A hundred percent. Actually, at the beginning of Renaissance, she did a Park and Bark and it was delightful. I mean, the... Did you see the Renaissance video movie or the tour? No. Highly suggest it. Highly suggest it. Very wonderfully filmed. She had a Renaissance section, but I know, you know, it was short. It was like 10 minutes or something, but it was so awesome. What was your favorite part?
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Chapter 3: What does it mean to be accused of witchcraft in a past life?
Is that okay?
Yeah.
Yeah.
wow I don't have a lot of experience in that type of music that was all her she almost ruined her voice that day she pumped it up she's crazy she'll go for it I think if they're still alive the creators of the band would appreciate it I really do. I really do. I feel like they would like it. I've done some covers and you don't do it because you hope it'll get back to the person.
But you always wonder. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I also have a cover of the most famous Russian song ever recorded. You think they're going to love that? No, baby. I'll probably get nuked. Beyonce, they're going to be like, there's an artist covering you? It's Katya? Yeah. I guess she's doing crazy in love. I mean, it's like, it's like literally worse than that.
Imagine Madonna plus Cher plus Barbra Streisand. That's a la Pugacheva. She's like by far the most like. And you're her, you're her protege. I am the worst.
the worst person I don't think anybody's ever dared to cover that song because Putin would be like is it like it's all coming back to me now like a mega singing song it's a torch song it's a torch ballad yeah no no no it's cunt it's like super dark and like it's like we did it's the It's alien microphone with diarrhea in it. I would say that your music sounds like torch music.
Sounds like someone's on fire. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Slaughter. I watched a lot of those. Throw the Christians to the... Yeah. Crucifixes overturned. Synagogues and churches burned. A new religion based on ultraviolence. We will build a new tradition and throw the fucking Christians to the lions. Mary, you are begging to end up on Fox News. I can't wait. I'm hoping. I need free press.
Laura Ingraham is coming for that ass. Yeah, and Tommy Lauren's going to be like, Candace Owen's going to, she's got my back though. I feel, you know, I'm obsessed with the news and I feel like it's my responsibility to keep you abreast. Okay, what's going on? Obviously all these tariffs are happening. Okay.
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Chapter 4: How did Sylvia Brown influence our perspectives on past lives?
But I don't think anybody would check a box saying, I would love to have to deal with extra doctor trips. But the LGBT Center does a lot. I love them. I have known people who do not have a house, and the LGBT Center hooks them up with housing. That's like a life-changing process. That's like a life-changing service. That's life or death. I, we both love them. So flop.
This country is, is so flop in so many ways. Well, because LA is so wrought with homelessness and queer people are so much more likely to be homeless. LA LGBT center does a lot of work for just homeless people. Yes. Yes. You can, if you're unhoused and you want to find housing, the LGBT center can help you. They can help you. And they can help you with so many things. Transitions.
If you feel threatened at work about like, maybe you're being fired, you don't know what to do because you probably, you know, it's a lot easier to fire people for being gay than it was. They'll cut your bangs. Don't do it yourself. Well, I think in a side ponytail is a must. A must. Yeah. You have to have that first before you go in the door.
The LA LGBT center is doing free veneers, but the only Asia O'Hara kind. So they have to be dazzling. Dazzling side ponytail. Yes. You need showgirl teeth. You need a side ponytail. And East Hollywood lesbians are volunteering to pierce your septum. Yes. And you have to be able to recite three RuPaul Instagram TikToks verbatim. Verbatim. Yeah. Which one of you bitches is my mother?
I love LA LGBT Center. They are horny.
I do too.
I believe it's the greatest, it's the biggest non-profit, LGBT non-profit in the world. I did a little thing for them. That's where I got to talk to Gwyneth Paltrow. Yeah.
Love.
Love it. You did talk to Gwyneth. Yeah. Through Philip Picardy, who I believe moved to New York. I don't know. He was heavily involved. Yeah. I got, she said, you look so chic. I'll never forget. She said that to you? She said that to my face. Cause I did look very chic at the time. No, she said, are you Sikh? That's what she said. Are you a sheik? Right. Are you a sheik?
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