The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Finding Balance Through Dialectism & Chicken with Trixie and Katya
Tue, 04 Feb 2025
The opposing forces of the yin and the yang are alive and well in 2025: Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni; TikTok and the Absence of TikTok; Emilia Perez and Good Taste. With the dizzying start to the year that has many of us stress-eating Thin Mints and Taco Bell while practicing scream-therapy techniques into our pillows, we'd like to devote this week's episode to helping you cast off 2025's discordant yolk of asymmetry and find the true inner balance that was previously only achievable with vagina eggs and bee sting enemas. As living embodiments of the yin and the yang, Trixie and Katya subscribe to the theory that opposing forces can negate each other while simultaneously combining to form a new, more powerful entity that redefines what it means to be "c*nty." A "Megac*nt," if you will. This year, discover true inner balance through purposeful c*ntiness. It's the month of love! Try the natural power of hemp with VIIA today! Head to: https://VIIA.co/BALD This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://BetterHelp.com/BALD and get on your way to being your best self! It's time to get your gut going! Support a balanced gut microbiome with Ritual’s Synbiotic+. Get 25% off your first month at https://Ritual.com/BALD Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatyalive.com To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: https://workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: What is the main topic of this episode?
So what happened today?
what's with the attitude what happened you got out the wrong side of the bed you guys it's just not it's not the day fat nasty broke career in shambles I walked in and came on this mic mad as hell can I be honest I was mad as hell this is how I know you and I have synergy because when you're I came in ready and excited to film and I think there's something in the universe where both of us at any given time cannot both there can only be one it's the substance respect the balance yeah
I know, because if we were both on cloud nine, thriving, not surviving, at the peak of our prowess together, too powerful. Too powerful.
Can I tell you what I've been doing? Drinking a lot. I don't know if you have any experience kind of overdoing it with substances.
But I can imagine. I have an active imagination. I can't really relate to it.
I had my little DJ gig last night, and I came home a little drunk, and Stopped at a straight bar. Was walking home from the bar and stopped at a straight bar. What, to heckle them? I didn't know anyone. Stopped at a straight bar with my little group. Wait, was it a straight bar? With straight people. And then, of course, LA loves this. It's vinyl DJs. I think you're screaming. Sorry.
It's vinyl DJs playing records just no one knows and no one is listening to. And that's cool. Yeah. But I like it. Okay. But it's interesting that... LA embraces that because it's fun to go hear random real records that you probably never heard the music. Was music nice? Well, would I rather hear that or like blaring top 40? No. I'd rather hear that. Yeah. I want to hear something new. Yeah.
But it made me think of these DJs walking around. If you're like a real vinyl DJ, you walk around with a giant crate of vinyl. Their cars are like, it's like they moved into their cars. It's crazy. In the DJ world, there's a lot of people that say that that's only like the real DJs. That's the only type of real DJing and they don't really respect otherwise. But that lifestyle.
What if you're like a New York with your crate of records on the train?
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Chapter 2: How do Trixie and Katya find balance in their lives?
And that was a good thing because nobody really wants to hear this movie, but it was like so befuddling. Yes. But I was like, you turn it up. You got to turn it up for the sex change song. What was going on?
You've been watching TV like that? Yes. So she comes over and she's, you know, we're watching Amelia Perez and she goes, This is your sound. Mama, you need a soundbar. And I was not to be a fag, but I was like, it's going to look weird in this room. It's going to be like a big black bar or whatever. And so you can hide that shit. The next day, JBL. Hello, JBL.
If you're watching JBL sent me a 1300 X for my living room soundbar woofer and little speakers for the corner. Yeah.
hooked that shit up mama lit it was like butterfly in the sky it was like the sphere it was it honestly felt like i was watching television for the first time i'm telling you thank you joanne barbara leslie whoever at jbl sent that to me i looked it up it's 1300 i really appreciate it because that you said you need a soundbar you need a woofer and the next day i got one as a gift so maybe you're psychic maybe i don't know but i've had my sonos thing for a grip
A grip? A grip? Honey, that's a grip. That's a long time. Imagine the grip. Imagine the grip.
I've been watching that bitch. I've been watching that bitch and I have been reading. I have been, oh my God. Listen, I don't, it's so funny. I don't know. I think it was Tyler, the creator, or some funny person online who said, cyber bully? Motherfucker, just get off the internet. Walk away from the phone. Girl, it is.
Can I say, but that girl, this girl, I love her. I'm going to say at care by Kara. Oh God. I follow her.
I do too.
I like it too.
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Chapter 3: What happened at the DJ gig last night?
And I showed him the drag room. It's like, you really don't have to do this. Cause I can't expect that you'll know where to put all this stuff. And I don't like, you'd have to stress about it. Girl, I come back. They did both rooms. Flawlessly. Perfectly. Flawlessly. Can I have their numbers? Abso-fucking-lutely you can. And I went up to my bedroom because they were there all day.
I went out, got breakfast. I came back and I was so tired. I looked at my bed and I was like,
bounce a nickel off that bitch yeah like better than any hotel i'm serious better than any hotel i've ever stayed at you know i love to stay at 16 star hotels yeah she do four uh four seasons flop ritz carlton flop right none of these places could ever achieve the level of cleanliness tidiness and beautiful aesthetic perfection the miss marisol imagine the fold yes
You know what I don't get down with? They call it hospital corners when you fold beds. These are the hospital corners. I'm not trying to be restrained in my bed. Right, right. I don't... When you get in... My feet are... You guys, my feet are almost 13, men's 13s. And when they curl and... And I have to lay... They curl and curl. They curl and curl. Snapped feet. Yeah, cramped. Snapped feet.
And when I'm jerking it in the hotel bed, I want to wiggle.
My feet are restrained. I know. I got to go around the bed and undo it.
I have to hook it up to truck chains on my car to drag the ends of the gut. You know... I'm traumatized because when Iggy Azalea and I did that thing once we went and we made some hotel beds together for like a, for Andrexi Motel. Iggy used to clean hotel rooms and she said that like 80% of the time people don't change the sheets.
She said they'll take whatever wet towel from the bathroom, they'll pull back the sheet and go like this to like dust off with a semen or what have you. I am never staying in a hotel again. Yeah. And she says, you know, I, she says like the, she says there's, she says, she told me that you could not count the number of times she found like sex devices in the bed, like dildos and stuff.
Well, you know, and come towels in the bed.
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Chapter 4: Why did Trixie stop at a straight bar?
Do you think you would ever have a boyfriend ever? Yeah. Do you feel like Whoopi Goldberg? I don't want somebody in my house. Remember that?
Well, here's the thing. Like I've said it before. And I know because it's been so, I've had this feeling for so long. Mama, I'm not doing sleepovers and I'm not doing house. We're not doing house things. We're not sleeping in the bed. We're not sleeping in the house together. You don't like the man to hug and kiss. You don't like the cuddling. I love that. And then go home.
You don't like the cuddling. You don't like the cuddling. Of course. And then go home. Mama, when it's sleep, it's sleep or death. If you interrupt my sleep for more than two nights, we got death on the table. Right. Murder. Murder. Because everybody snores, mama. You think? Plot twist, newsflash. Everybody snores.
Would you ever get a sleep apnea machine? I would love that.
Not to wear, just to have. Iron lung. Put me in the iron lung. You can sleep in the corner.
Yeah. I don't... I wonder if it's... You just snore. Everybody snores. Everybody snores. I wonder if it's hard for people to... sleep with those on, or if your husband or wife does, is that hard?
I think that I am truly shocked and very impressed and flabbergasted by the amount of people who do sleep in the same bed together for years and years and years and years. They love it. I guess. Co-sleeping. People sleep with their kids. Oh, yes, America. No, I know. My brother and his wife, they had their little infant boy. He slept with them all the time. He didn't want to sleep by himself.
Co-mingle. Yeah. Co-sleep. Family co-sleep. Yeah. But, you know, like my embryonic breastfed her children into their teens. And then... I didn't know that. Oh, yeah. It's crazy. But I mean, not their teens, but, you know, talking. I feel like you're... I know too much about this because I read about it. Yeah. When your child can recite the Iliad, they should not be sucking that from your breast.
Well, experts say that anything between two and seven is an acceptable bracket to stop breastfeeding. Yeah. They said that that's... I think it's even two to nine. I looked it up one day.
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