The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
Tue, 14 Jan 2025
Our hearts go out to all those affected by the catastrophic wildfires in Los Angeles County. We hope that this week's episode, recorded in our car as we evacuated Hollywood due to the Sunset Fire, offers a brief respite from the ongoing devastation in Southern California. If you would like to support Angelenos affected by the fires, please visit this link for various ways to donate: https://laist.com/news/climate-environment/how-to-help-la-fire-victims New customers GET 15% ALL Lume products with our exclusive code BALDANDBEAUTIFUL at https://www.lumedeodorant.com Make progress towards a better financial future with Chime! Open your account in 2 minutes at https://Chime.com/BALD Chime. Feels like progress. You’re going to love Hungryroot as much as we do! Take advantage of this exclusive offer: For a limited time get 40% off your first box PLUS get a free item in every box for life! Go to https://Hungryroot.com/BALD and use code BALD today! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://BetterHelp.com/BALD and get on your way to being your best self! If you need a new website, go ahead and check out Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, go to https://SquareSpace.com/BALD to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain! Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatyalive.com To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: https://workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: What do Trixie and Katya grab while evacuating?
Six wigs.
And six pairs of shoes. But I thought, my thought was, oh, she packed a look in case there's a gig. And that way, if you have nothing and you're living in a hotel room, you at least have a way to make money. But you did what you did. Why did you grab the items you grabbed? Okay, I grabbed them because,
In the previous episode, I think people remember me saying that I was waiting for these packages that needed to be signed for. They were from this company, this shoe company. These are these cunty shoes that have fangs on the heels. They're very expensive. They're beloved possessions of mine, and they were the last of their kind. So if they went up in flames, I would kill myself. Right. Naturally.
So, you know, you can replace girdles, tights, pantyhose, lashes, cosmetics. I mean, she owns a cosmetic company. So I just need to get the essentials.
Right. I guess I should have thought better. Like this has made me more aware of, well, first of all, there should be a go bag, right? Donald Trump is happening. The world is on fire, literally. And also all those times we made fun of celebrities, but they're fleeing their homes, letting their horses go. Now it's us.
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Chapter 2: What items are essential during an evacuation?
Yeah, but except we don't have other estates to flee to.
I do. I do. I thought about going to my condo in Hollywood, but I was like, if that's not far enough, that's not far enough.
That's where I live.
So then I thought, well, I don't know. We thought about going all the way. Originally, we were going to go all the way to Palm Springs because I called the Trixie Motel and they were like, we have two rooms for you guys. But it's two hours away. And what if tomorrow the fire is like basically done? And then it's like, oh, perfect. Just go home.
Yeah.
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Chapter 3: How do Trixie and Katya feel about the wildfires?
I'm thinking about moving back to Boston right now. I'm not joking around, bitch. You know, Jennifer, the director of, I like to watch Netflix. Hi, Jennifer.
Hi, Jennifer. Jennifer.
Friend of the pod. Jennifer. Jennifer. What a bitch. I'm just kidding. She said that she hired an environmental scientist who said that the safest place to live for the future of the environment, et cetera, is Wisconsin. What? Why? Because the water in the cheese next to the fresh water, baby, the lakes, not to mention it's cold. So as the earth continues to cook.
Yeah, she's going to be bombing in a couple of a couple of decades. Oh, yeah. It's going to be the new kind of Oahu Riviera. It's going to be the French Riviera.
the redneck Riviera.
And I, I don't know. All these times we made fun of like, do you remember, were they fires or what was it? Was it fires a few years ago where we were watching the news and it was celebrities like being like, we had to let the horses go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was, I mean, you know, it's hard to feel.
Well, I think you have to feel for the people who work for those celebrities. You know what I mean? Like the staff who has no jobs now.
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Chapter 4: What are the challenges of living in Los Angeles during wildfires?
And I also did not think I just thought like Hollywood, the streets are covered in so much urine. Yeah. And everything's concrete of piss around my apartment complex or my condo complex. So and I called you earlier this morning and I was like, all right, why don't we what are you? I called you and I said, are you leaving? And you said, what? No. Why? And I was like, OK, me too. Perfect.
And I was watching the news. And then you called like what? An hour ago. And what was the tea, Christine? Well, I went to my balcony and saw a fireplace that was in my backyard. Damn. Okay, we just got a text from our managers. We wanted to stay at the Hilton in Long Beach, but everything was booked up. So now we are literally staying on the Queen Mary. Oh, the room's under your name.
Look, you think all these people are leaving? Look at that person has a dog in the car. She has a mask on. She's leaving. The dog has a mask on? No, the person. No, the person's wearing the dog as a mask. If you're cold, they're cold. Bring them inside. Get the mask on the dog. Get the mask on the dog.
Can we just, how come we have to have some kind of like Orson Welles War of the Worlds event in the city every couple years? Because, mama, it's a wrap on Miss Earth. I'm sorry. It's a wrap on her. It's especially a wrap on Miss Los Angeles. Yeah. Los Angeles is corny tired and she's now fired. I thought about going to stay at the condo, though, because it's a little more south.
It's not right next to those, but... Well, somebody was telling me that buildings are catching fire, like building to building. It's like, you know... Oh, tell them what happened to your old building. She's dead, gone, burnt. Like, it was... Oh, God. So it's funny.
My Anton, my Bulgarian massage therapist, the man for whom I would risk it all, the first time he came over my condo, he went up to the balcony and said, I live right there. And that's where the fire was when I looked out tonight. So if he is not okay... I'm going to KMS.
Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I always think people are really extra when they start. When something like this happens and people start leaving town days before, I'm always like, girl, you do too much. You have main character syndrome. You think that that fire is coming specifically for you, Miss Snowflake special?
You know what I mean? Like, girl. I've been watching a lot of documentaries and footage of earthquakes, tsunamis, pyroclastic flow, things of that nature. Do you want to put it off?
Turn the air off for sound, yeah. Sorry. We are in the car. Oh, I'm so sorry. That was probably terrible. Oh, it's so much better now. Yeah. Okay, let's start from the top again. And we didn't grab... Honestly, I didn't... When we left, I didn't grab the sound equipment for the pod. Okay? I didn't think about it. I thought about the passport.
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Chapter 5: What are Trixie and Katya's plans after evacuation?
I will. have my new Wigs by Vanity showgirl wigs, my Swiss lace, my stage lace, I will have my thigh-high vampire fang boots, I got my silvers, I got my golds, I got all the expensive drag stuff, although I did not bring my Philippe Plein $2,000 boots.
It's over. You know what? The fire might as well have come. The fire might as well have come. What if my home... Oh, there's a fire truck. Making a lot of rounds tonight. You think they're going somewhere?
No, I think they're going to get lawn noodles. That's the real tragedy of this whole thing is that I was literally leaving the house to go get lawn noodles and then maybe go watch Baby Girl. So it's tough.
It's tough. Girl, baby. Girl, baby. And now we're trying to get along. The manager said that south is the way to go and that it's too hard to get on the highway or go west right now. Which is great because I do not drive on the highway because I'm scared. Right.
Do you know that the most accidents happen on these roads, though? But you know what? What happens on these roads is not people merging onto a five lane highway where people are texting and drunk at 80 miles an hour.
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Chapter 6: What do Trixie and Katya think about their homes in LA?
Girl, did you hear what did you hear what happened to that person at the airport with the Waymo vehicle? You know, those like self-driving vehicles they have in LA now? Don't trust them. I trust it more than a person. But guess what happened? They took one to the airport, which I think is insane. Why would you take that car to the airport?
And it didn't know how to stop, and so it just looped them at LAX, and they missed their flight. That's kind of fierce. Thanks, J-Biden.
Yeah, thanks, J-Biden. Do you know that all... Okay, wait. I watched the trailer for a movie that I'm very excited to see. It's called The Companion. But tell me... Oh, is this the... But did you... I don't want to give any spoilers, but the point is that this fucking trailer, it was the second one I saw of it. The first teaser trailer I saw, I was like, this movie looks amazing.
This fucking trailer gave away the whole fucking plot of the movie, and I'm so plucked. I'm so plucked. Is this the Megan Fox movie? No, that's Subservience, and that looks a fucking mess. That looks a mess.
It's like grown up, like S.A. Megan. Yeah.
It's S.O. Because it's kind of like Megan, but like sex time.
And it features that incredibly hunky actor from the basically porn series on Netflix called like something. It's like a Fifty Shades of Grey kind of thing. And he's just like the porn hunk. So I can't take that movie seriously at all. I will check off to it, though.
some of this porn shit or some of this shit this like soft core shit they put on Netflix to me it's a bridge too far just boot up the boot up the porn hub and go to town like give me a break I know I love a great well lit like lovely sex scene nude scene whatever all that stuff is I mean I love the opening shot of Eyes Wide Shut where Nicole Kidman takes her dress off and it's so beautiful but like I love a good masked orgy scene but like it's just yeah at a certain point man
I thought it was funny. We were at a meeting the other day. We have been having some type of creative meetings with a certain Amy Poehler. Yes. And at her office, their potted tree had blown into the pool and they were showing it like it was the eighth wonder of the world. They were like, look at it. Can you believe it? They kept saying, it's so creepy. I go, baby.
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Chapter 7: How do pop culture references come into play during their discussion?
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let me tell you something and i'm gonna go this is a thing that i will expound expound upon later when we're on live on the video i want to talk about emilia perez at the motherfucking golden globes okay and if i get a lot of trash from selena gomez fans i i accept that but we need to face facts and we need to confront reality and we need to recognize that that movie is one of the worst movies ever made certainly one of the worst one of the worst musicals ever fucking made
So can I ask, what would you imagine would be, what would you suggest would be the basis for that being celebrated then if it's bad?
Because it features a trans storyline and I think people are very afraid to critique two things. So it's wildly experimental. So a lot of, I feel like it has this armor where it's like, if you don't get it, you don't get art. But that's bullshit because this is bad art. And number two, it features a trans storyline and a trans actress. So it's very kind of in a way it has like this bulletproof.
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Chapter 8: What are the implications of climate change discussed in this episode?
And it was the longest two and some change hours of my life that I spent on Christmas Eve trying to get through this thing. It was so bad, Mary. You don't even fucking know. And when it got all this praise at the Golden Globes, I was like, OK, so what is going on?
It's crazy. Crazy. Well, it doesn't make me want to watch it because, you know, I watched I've been on a huge Batman kick because I've been playing Arkham. Night, this game, and I'm like, God, I love Batman. It's so dark. It's so cool. It's so, like, great.
And especially with the Luigi Mangione, Vigilantism is obviously about to be on the rise, and Vigilantism, like, is the basis of all those comic books, right? Right, sure. And so I was watching some of those programs, and in Joker 1, which I'd never seen before. So Joker, The Joker. Yeah. The Joker with... Joaquin Phoenix. Joaquin Phoenix. Incredible, incredible, stunning actor.
Billion dollar R-rated movie. I think it was maybe the, I don't know if it was the first, but it set a record for box office receipts for an R-rated movie.
Receipts. Huge success. Receipts. It was so, I love that dog. Beautiful dog. For the viewers at home, that dog has six legs. Those aren't legs, honey. Those are low-hanging titties. And you can tell that man gets in bed with that dog and just... I brought pretzels. I'm sorry. I was watching. I want a snack. I know. Oh, the Wiltern. Oh. We've played there. Yeah. Haven't we? You have. I have.
Oh, I thought we played there together. We were just crossing. Madonna played there, I think, for Madame X. That's what Fina told me. Okay, so I watched The Joker, and I hadn't seen that. And this is why, because I missed it when it came out. And then everyone who loved The Joker was like, oh, shit, if Miss Neckbeard Incel Miss Thing loves The Joker, I can't like The Joker.
I'm not going to watch The Joker. But I watched The Joker, and in all the shitty ways, it delivered on, like, of course, this is what that...
type of man watches this and goes yeah women are mean to me too nobody gets me my dad and my mom's a like that's the whole vibe but it was an incredible amazing film and the acting and oh my god i love that movie and obviously one of the big things they talk about is the health care system failing a mentally ill person i mean he the system is failing him actively as the film goes on right
And I was like, wow, this movie went like so far exceeded my expectations. I loved it. I love that movie.
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