The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Tue, 24 Dec 2024
Don't miss The Hallmarque Channel's newest Christmas classic, "A Very Special Holiday Sausage," premiering Christmas Eve! When the gorgeous neighborhood delivery guy, Lance, turns his attentions to recently-divorced Katya, she brushes it off as mere flattery. But when she sees the look in Lance's eyes as he hands her the bulk delivery of anal lube she orders every Christmas, it's clear he wants to give her more than just a cardboard box. As he turns to leave with a mischievous wink and a smile, the encounter awakens something deep inside her smoldering loins; a desire, a lust, a growing demand for steamy passion delivered express overnight. She closes the door and instantly feels a deep and animalistic need for the juicy holiday sausage hiding within his khakis. Katya's friend Trixie tells her it’s time to "get back on the horse" post-divorce, and what better horse to ride than the tantalizingly sexy Lance? This Christmas, watch Katya learn that delivery drivers truly are experts at getting big packages into tight slots. You owe yourself a trip and trips are always better with Airbnb! If you want more space, more privacy, a better location, and the most loved homes, check out https://Airbnb.com or download the Airbnb app! To get Mint Mobile's new customer offer and your new 3-month unlimited wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to https://MintMobile.com/BALD Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatyalive.com To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: What is the main concept of 'A Very Special Holiday Sausage'?
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Hi, I'm a FedEx man. Are you home at 1 p.m. on a Monday? Nope. Girl, this whole fucking country. Signature required. Tuesday at 2 p.m. Oh, what do you mean you're not home? Oh, you have four jobs to try to, you know, ding dong Thursday, 11 a.m. I'm the UPS man. Signature required. Mary, my blood is boiling. I know. Can I tell you what else? What about essential medicines?
My arthritis shot that I have to get once a month, I can't get it shipped to me because I have to, what, be sitting home all day to receive it? I'm arthritic, but not that arthritic. You know what I mean? Well, that's crazy because I have my medication delivered. Yeah, but it's a shot.
Oh, okay.
Who can we call? It's just, and then also any package, any anything, it's being delivered today. I hope you're home between the hours of 8 a.m. and 8 p.m. to receive your package. So my luggage was lost yesterday. I had one, my giant drag bag, on a different flight. How does that happen? How does that happen? Different flight. A later flight. I don't know.
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Chapter 2: How do delivery drivers affect our holiday experiences?
Okay.
She said, my friend's going to die. That's tough. I'm sorry. She's going to die. Then you take out your malt liquor and you pour one out for the homies.
F in the chat. What does that mean? F in the chat?
I think in video games, if you like give your life for the team for the win, it's like respect. Like, you know what? That person died. F in the chat for the shooter, mama. You know about that Italian shooter? I do. And I'm afraid to participate in that conversation. I'm not going to, we're not, we're not praising him.
The only thing I will say is that I don't know whether he committed that crime or not. What I do know is that he is hot and sexy, just like many other hot and sexy people. And I, that's, that's all I'm going to say. Right. Someone said, if the body is tea, you must set him free.
I saw one comment that was like all night, all day, on the floor, sugar walls, blown out, mind bending, world ending, like people describing the type of sex. Are people so horny that a distant photograph of a murderer, potential murderer, is what gets them going. No, here's the thing. This is a very significant assassination. For sure. This is a very significant assassination in our age.
We are so fucked up as a country and so online that all we can do is say, ooh, I'm going to fuck that man. Are Italians white? Right. It's... You know what I feel? It's crazy. My participation, I fear our fans so much because I fear criticism, that level of criticism about every single thing we do at all times. I'm just observing what I see.
When I comment on news things, I'm like Tokyo Tony where it's so in and out. I'm like, well, whatever it is and what it may be, I'd hate to be in her shoes right now. You're Tokyo Tony. You're trying to sell your front lawn. You're trying to rent your front yard. Did you see that shit? No. She's like, we have these stairs. It's just the front of her house. And you can have a function here.
Or look at all this. It's a yard. You can have a banquet. Oh, she's trying to do like Airbnb or something. Who's getting married on Tokyo? My wedding reception was on Tokyo Tony's front step. And it's so drab and humdrum and not spectacular. It's amazing. I was like, what is going on here?
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Chapter 3: What are the challenges of modern dating apps?
Oh, yeah.
So if you have, did you see Dune at all? Okay. I've never seen one. You don't really, it would help. It would very, yeah. Actually, I think you do need to see Dune 1 and 2 to really get the world vibe.
Because they kind of cleave to the imagery and the lore of these recent films. It is so good. It is so good. But here's the only problem. Six fucking episodes and that's it.
Mary, Friends had 38 episodes in a season. Well, TV shows used to have, I used to, I mean, I love Buffy. I know we're maybe not supposed to like address we didn't program anymore, but me as a, me as a kid, I watched Buffy and I'm sorry. Okay. You don't have to apologize for, for watching a show that had many episodes. Right. And it had 22 episodes a season and they were hour long.
I mean, those people were basically making a movie full time for a living. Yeah. One long movie. This is two Lord of the Rings. This is to Lord of the Rings. And they call it... I mean, it's on Sunday night. It's on HBO Max. It's prestige television. And you know I'm gooning and baiting for that. What about the drag name Lorna DeRings? Lorna DeRings? Lourdes DeRings? Lorna? Lourdes.
Lourdes DeRings. You could just be Lourda. Lourda? Lorna DeRings, I think, is better. Lorna DeRings. Yeah. That's fun. It's like Lorin Order.
Lorin Order.
Lorin Order. I like that, too. You know what I'm going to give?
That's stupid. I'm going to do Drag Race again. Wait, wait, I'm not done. I'm not done.
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Chapter 4: How do health and healthcare systems compare?
Take the whole shirt off. Breastfeed. Breastfeed totally nude in the aisle while you're doing yoga. Totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then a little balcony for fresh air. Why can't you get some fresh air when you're in the airport? This has air.
You're right.
Palm Springs Airport has that because it's all outside. Yeah. And what's that other airport that has a Delta Sky Lounge that's partially outside? LA. LA has a smoking little like. But you're in the Sky Lounge. No, no, no. It's very, very hidden. It's secret. When I learned about it after flying five years at LAX, I was like, you motherfuckers. You betrayed me. You betrayed me.
You should be like Gen Z and get the Zin packets. Shove them up the pussy, boof the Zin packet. Well, you're never going to believe this.
I haven't smoked a cigarette today.
What happened?
Did you run out? No, I just haven't.
Are you going to ask me for money? Oh, honey, I don't think I can give it to you.
night just one drag no i've been um trying to smoke less than i so i stopped for five days straight only because of depression and then um too depressed to smoke damn yeah sleeping up like 13 hours a day and then i was like after thanksgiving i was like uh just try to smoke less and it has been working i think i had like two or three yesterday it's fierce
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