On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Jay’s Must-Listens: 7 Transformative Lessons to Build Confidence And Real Self Worth (Ft. Kobe Bryant & Kendall Jenner)
Wed, 09 Apr 2025
Do you ever pretend to be confident when you’re not? When do you feel most confident? What if real confidence isn’t loud or visible—but built quietly in the moments no one else sees? In today's Jay's Must-Listens, Jay explores the powerful theme of inner confidence—not the kind rooted in outside validation or achievements, but the kind built slowly through learning to trust yourself, commitment to showing up, and living with purpose. Throughout the episode, Jay draws from powerful moments with past guests and their helpful insights. He shares a moment from his conversation with Kendall Jenner, where she opened up about experiencing anxiety and how even people who appear confident outwardly are often battling internal struggles. Jay also references insights from Lisa Bilyeu, who spoke about repetition and how confidence is built by proving to yourself—again and again—that you can do hard things. In this episode, you'll learn: How to Build Confidence Without External Validation How to Create a Daily Confidence-Boosting Practice How to Turn Self-Doubt into Self-Discipline How to Build Confidence Through Repetition and Consistency How to Anchor Yourself with Purpose, Not Praise How to Redefine Confidence as Clarity and Alignment This episode is both a motivational reset and a practical guide for anyone who’s ready to stop doubting themselves or seeking outside validation and start rooting their confidence in something far more lasting: their own truth. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty. Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here. Join Jay for his first ever, On Purpose Live Tour! Tickets are on sale now. Hope to see you there! What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 01:43 Find What Makes You Happy and Do That 04:44 How To Start Believing in Yourself 09:34 Doing Things that Scare You is Worth the Risk 13:26 Genuine Love Should Boost Your Confidence 16:41 Staying Confident When Your Body Is Changing 18:52 How Stress Can Manifest In Your Body 26:32 Don’t Wait To Take Action 29:59 This is How You Build Real Confidence From Within 33:33 The Song I Made Just For Me That Changed Everything 35:28 Healing and Maturing Through Motherhood 36:55 Every Day Is A Chance For Progress 39:01 Stay Consistent In Improving YourselfSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Chapter 1: How can you build confidence and self-worth?
Welcome back to On Purpose. Today we're talking about something that impacts every decision we make, our confidence and self-worth. We all struggle with it at some point, questioning if we're good enough, smart enough, or capable enough. Maybe it started in childhood, or maybe over time, life's challenges have made us second guess ourselves. But here's the truth.
Confidence isn't something you're just born with. It's something you build. And self-worth isn't just about your accomplishments or success. It's about how you see yourself at your core. In this episode, I've gathered insights from some of the best minds to help you quiet self-doubt, recognize your true value and step into the confidence that's already in you.
Because when you truly believe in yourself, everything changes. So often when we're searching for confidence and self-worth, it's easy to feel pressured, to try every new trend or practice, as if there's a perfect formula for feeling secure in ourselves. But real confidence isn't about following the crowd. It's about tuning out the noise and figuring out what truly works for you.
Chapter 2: How does Kendall Jenner maintain her inner peace?
Kendall Jenner knows that pressure all too well. Having spent most of her life in the public eye, she's had to learn how to protect her peace, set boundaries and find joy in the simple things. In this conversation, she opens up about her journey to staying grounded and true to herself. Let's get into it.
had had a lot of people coming to me telling me about meditation and how it changed their life and therapy and so many different things. And I was a bit overwhelmed because I was like, oh my God, what if this is gonna suit me? I think it's a very personal experience. I think everybody has a very different version of all of that stuff. And so it was a little overwhelming.
So I think I really just took the time to be off for a second. It was even the little things. It was like being able to go to my friend's birthday party, which I wouldn't have been able to go to before because I was working a lot.
I love hearing that because I think it is those simple things like, you know, giving yourself that space, whatever it is that you needed to do when you needed it. And like you said, sometimes it's like, that's when all the subscribe buttons come up in front of you and it's like, try this and try this. And it's like, well, no, no, no. Let me just take my time.
It was also, now that I think about it, 23, I'm 26, I've had my horse for... So around that time is when I bought the horse that I have now, who is my... I jump her and I have two other horses, but they're retired, so I don't really ride them the same way I ride her.
So, yeah, I guess it was around that time, too, that I was like, I'm going to do this because I love this and like I want to get back into it. And this is what I've loved my whole life. So so it was around that time that I feel like all of that started happening and I bought my horse and I like started taking more time for things that made me really happy.
Yeah, what I'm noticing in you and observing, or at least from just these- Oh God. No, in a good way, in a good way. I was just saying, it's like, it feels like no matter what's happening in your orbit, there's this pillar of belief that it's important to be happy. Yeah. Like, you know, that's like this core center belief in your life where it's like, it's important to be happy.
It's important to be happy. It's, that has to be the goal.
For sure, and it's not always easy. We live in such an interesting industry and in such an interesting time with social media that it can be very hard sometimes. You can fall victim to so many things that don't serve you and that don't make you happy. If your happiness depends on the actions of others, you know, you're at mercy of things that you can't control.
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Chapter 3: What role did Vanessa Hudgens' solo trip play in her self-discovery?
We need that validation. Or if I think you think I'm not smart, then I feel hurt. And the challenge is, I don't know what you're thinking at all, especially outside in the world. And so I find that what you're saying around like, well, what do I think about myself? Like, how do I feel about myself? How do the people that actually know me feel about me? I think that's really empowering.
There are times in life when we feel disconnected from ourselves, as if we've lost our sense of who we are. It can happen after a big life change, the grind of a demanding job, or even just getting stuck in the routine of everyday life. For Vanessa Hudgens, that moment came after filming a series of emotionally intense movies.
She found herself questioning her identity and searching for a way to reconnect. Instead of staying in that uncertainty, she took a leap, one that felt scary, but ultimately led her back to herself. Let's dive into how stepping outside her comfort zone helped her rediscover her confidence and self-worth.
I feel like my first solo trip was when I was like, it was right after I did a stint of like really heavy, emotionally demanding movies. I think Gimme Shelter was the last one of that. And I came home and I like genuinely did not know who Vanessa was. I had like gotten so off on becoming this other person and like genuinely changed my mindset, the way that I looked.
I put on like 20 pounds, cut off all my hair, like all the things that made me me were not there anymore. And I was like, I need to do something because I'm like scared because I don't know who I am. And I was like, OK, we're going to go on a yoga retreat. My my publicist at the time was like, there's this retreat. They're doing it the four seasons. It was like a practice.
And I was like, OK, I'm just going to like go on my own. because that scares me and I was very much in that place of like do the things that scare you because you will evolve like you're forced to and I was like you know like a yoga retreat in Hawaii like that gives me an excuse to be in Hawaii but also like have something to do and like know that I'll be around people because like
And filming as well as an adult, like when I hit 18, I would go off to film things all the time and I would be on my own. And so like if I wanted to go to dinner, like a lot of times I would just go by myself and like bring a book. And I definitely would have those moments where I'm like looking around, like kind of trying to like...
lock eyes and engage with anyone um preferably would sit at the bar so i could like talk to the bartender because like i love i love people like i love i love just like talking to people yeah but you start using a different part of your brain when you do that like you start using a different part of your energy where it's like oh i'm gonna see if i can make something out of nothing
Yeah, exactly. That's a mindset that you lose as we get older. That's very true. Because most of your life is surrounded by the same people, same work people, same life people. And so like when you're like, oh, I'm trying to talk to the bartender or I'm trying to lock, even the idea of locking eyes with someone random. Oh my gosh, it's my favorite thing. Yeah.
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Chapter 4: How did Claudia Oshry find confidence through love?
It was a moment that should have broken me, but just because of how I was raised and my bullishness and arrogance to want to be great hardened me. It gave me a platform to be so singularly focused on greatness.
We all have moments like this. Something happens that's supposed to break us. But it's in these moments that we discover what we're really made of. I promise you, if anyone knows this, it's me. I'm Ashlyn Harris, two-time Women's World Cup champion and goalkeeper for the U.S. Women's National Team.
In my new podcast, Wide Open, I'll sit down with trailblazers from sports, music, fashion, entertainment, and politics to explore their toughest moments and the incredible comebacks that followed. Listen to Wide Open with Ashlyn Harris, an iHeart Women's Sports production on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
I started to live a double life when I was a teenager. Responsible and driven, and wild and out of control. My head is pounding. I'm confused. I don't know why I'm in jail. It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction. Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head.
But one night, a new door opened, and I made it into the rooms of recovery. The path would have roadblocks and detours, stalls and relapses. But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community. And I made my way back. This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery. A story told in 12 steps.
Listen to Crumbs as part of the Michael Duda Podcast Network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Confidence is something we all struggle with at some point. But where does confidence come from? How do we build it in a way that feels genuine and lasting? Claudia Oshry, comedian, podcast host, and social media personality, gets candid about her journey with self-image and how love played a role in shaping her confidence. I really want you to hear her story.
Like, what would you say to someone who maybe doesn't have doesn't want to go on a Zen pit because they're scared or whatever it may be. But like, what would you say with them?
So I feel like people don't like my answer because when I was like struggling with my self-image, I feel like I'm going to cry now. Sorry. So much of my confidence, I would say like all of it came from the fact that I had a husband or a boyfriend at the time, fiance, who loved me so much. And he thought I was like the greatest thing.
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