Weirdos! We're giving you a fresh batch of listener tales brought TO you, BY you, FOR you, FROM you, and ALLLLL about you!Today we have ghostly peaches, possessed dogs (question mark?), dolls in a wall, and someone who is plagued with terrible promotions! Don't forget to check out the VIDEO from this episode available on YouTube on 1/30/2025!If you’ve got a listener tale please send it on over to [email protected] with “Listener Tales” somewhere in the subject line :)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Hey weirdos, Elena here. If you're looking to kick back and relax with Morbid, Wondery Plus is the way to go. It's like having a cozy seat in our haunted mansion. No ads, just you and early access to new episodes. You can join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or in Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
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There's a lot in life that feels like it should be guaranteed, but it just isn't. Things like your friends being on their way when they text you, or getting out the same number of socks from the dryer that you put in. AT&T is introducing a new guarantee, the AT&T Guarantee, because there's a lot in life that's not guaranteed.
The AT&T Guarantee means connectivity you can depend on, deals you want, and service you deserve, or they'll make it right. Visit att.com slash guarantee to learn more. AT&T connecting changes everything. Terms and conditions apply. Visit att.com slash guarantee for details. Hey, weirdos. I'm Alina. I'm Ash. And this is Marvin. It's Marvin.
We're ourselves again, honey.
I don't know why we went there, but it felt right. We tried a transatlantic thing, I think, almost. It's like when we did the bob-haired bandit and I tried so hard to be transatlanticism and I just wasn't. Transatlanticism. You know, Death Cab for Cutie. We did a whole thing. Yeah. You know what? There's a, before TikTok goes away, we might as well start with just nonsense. Insert a wah, wah, wah.
Before TikTok goes away, there's this comedian on there. Her name is Carissa. And I want to find her real, her full name, Carissa. Her whole act is she's like this, something darling is her name. I love that. And she does this like, she does crowd work in a transatlantic accent in full like gown. Oh, I'm into that. And she's just like, What's your name, darling? Oh, that was really good.
And she does the whole act like that. That was good. And she's fucking hilarious. So Carissa, go find her. Go find her and find out where she goes. I'm going to find her on there while we continue so I can shout her out. I'm not fully convinced that TikTok's going anywhere. I don't think anybody really is. And if it is, like I'll be like a little bit sad for probably like two days.
And then I'll be like, wow, look at all this stuff I completed in my free time. Yeah.
Right.
It eats up a lot of my time. It's true. So I don't think it's that bad of a thing in that scenario. But I do feel bad for like creators who have made like a living on there. Well, that's the thing. It's been around for how many years? And it's like when you've made a living off of this, it's like your actual job. Yeah. Like our girl, Isabel. Oh, our girl, Isabel.
I don't know what I'm going to do without Isabel.
Isabel. Annalee.
Annalee. Tyler. Michaela. What am I going to do when I can't go to Patto? I'm going to be so sad when I can't go to Patto. It's Carissa Hendricks, by the way.
carissa hendrix let me see go find her and she's so pretty she just like roasts people like in the but but in like the most classy way that's my dream job i love her we kind of do that actually she's really funny so just go find her anywhere i don't know find that girl find that girl carissa hendrix um but yeah i don't know we just went with a 20s theme today yeah just kind of i don't even know whose idea this was maybe it was mike mikey was this your idea
Boom, there it is.
There it is. It was our idea. Speaking of like actual regular episodes, this is an actual episode, but it's Listener Tales. So we are going to put out Rodney Part 2, Rodney Alcala Part 2 on Monday. If you're watching this, it's probably like Thursday or like this came out on a Thursday. So we just... Wanted to have like a little breather after part one. Quick little palate cleanser.
Yeah, we're going to get into some gnarly shit in parts two and three. So this is like your little send off into that, which is...
Nice. Yeah. Yeah. We love it. Yeah. I picked the tails today. They are, there's like sort of a theme, I guess. I feel like there's a theme, but without a theme.
Yeah.
The vibes are right. I looked for like, I searched the word Gatsby. I searched the creepy doll and speakeasy. I like that.
Yeah.
All things that, you know, felt like of the time.
They all make sense.
And even if they're not, it makes sense. Yeah. Also, I want to wear these gloves every day. As you should. Also, I had something really cool happen before this and I'm having trouble concentrating and I can't say what it is yet.
it is it's really cool i just had to say that we can't say too much because i feel i give things away so easily like with my face and like even like one i'll say one thing and people are like i know exactly what you're saying and i'm like i was really trying to be trying to be undercover there trying to be coy i could never be a narc no or well i guess maybe maybe i'd be a good narc you just wouldn't be a good undercover like you couldn't be like an informant
No. No. Oh my god. I think about that a lot. I think about that a lot. When we do cases where somebody wears a wire, I'm like, I could never. First of all, my IBS could not. I would just shit myself instantly. My IBS could never. My IBS could not handle that. And neither could my delicate psyche. Because we're one step away from a full break. I just laugh.
Any time I'm feeling any type of way, I start laughing or smiling. So I'd be so shitty. Remember the time that I was, I won't say who it is, but remember the time we had to go to a funeral together and we couldn't stop laughing? Because I just can't handle emotions. No, nothing was funny. It was actually very sad. But we were sat together in a church pew, if you can fucking picture that.
And we just couldn't stop laughing. We couldn't. And my grandpa gave a eulogy and it was so Boston.
It's true.
It was super Boston.
The great guy. The great guy. We were like, oh, gosh. The greatest guy.
You know, I freaking loved that guy. But yeah, I can't. Anytime to process an emotion, I laugh or smile.
Yeah, I do that too.
And I often have to say, I'm not finding this funny. I am upset. Like, I have to tell people, like, I'm upset, I promise. Yeah, that's your tism too. It is. It's real.
it's part of that and so i don't it's just so this is the only way i know how to process anything so i'm just gonna like maniacally laugh for okay which this is a good thing yeah it makes sense do you want to go first do you think that will be helpful yeah i'll go first okay okay that's that sounds good dive in because i'm so happy oh gee morbid she's about to dive in everybody
i'm about to dive in there it is oh that was really good alicia that was good is she here we need like a little like seance table in front of us which i feel like we're dressed for oh yeah you're you're actually i feel like something about the green is giving very madame leota oh i love that is it leona or leota it's whatever you want it to be This is your show. It can be what you want.
Like Trixie and Katya say. And not yours.
Exactly. So you can make it whatever you want. I wish we took that tagline. I know. Like I wish we thought of it. That's a great tagline. Like I wish we stole that. I wish we could steal. No, I love them. So should I do the time a ghost shoved peaches up my nose? Yeah, that one's really funny, actually. Just nose. I said nosed. I'm not really sure. I didn't even hear that you said nose.
You say whatever you want to say. I will, because it's my show. And not yours. Just kidding. All right, so let's get to this. All right. Hi there, spooky gals. Hi. My name is Jessie. Okay, I was making sure I could use it. I can use it. I don't mind if you use it. I appreciate you ladies and whatnot. I would say all the mushy stuff, but I'm not good at that.
Neither is this one.
Me neither. I'm the mushiest gushiest. So I'll just say you love us.
You love us.
And we love you. In fact, I had to say something really mushy to John the other night. You did? I had like a moment. You know how you get that moment of feeling like overwhelmingly appreciative? Yeah. Like you're just like, wow, you're so lovely. Yeah. And I get to hang with you forever. Yeah. And so I had all these like emotions about it. And he happened to be upstairs doing something.
So I texted him and I literally said, I don't know how to do this in person. So deal with it. And he was like, that first part of the text had me dying. Also, 18 years into marriage, I don't really know how to tell you how much I love you. So deal with it. So deal with it. I'm going to text it to you. But he was like, he literally was like, I'm dying. You're unreal.
Sorry, I had a little piece of hair and like just like one piece of hair. Oh, that happens to me a lot. There it is.
I got it.
So I just didn't want you to yell at me for touching my face. No, don't worry. It's cool. So it says insert bunches of mush here. LOL. Honestly, that's essentially what I did to John the other day. I love that you did. You guys are the best and get what I mean. I do. I love you. I appreciate you. I respect you.
I previously sent this tale in, but after rereading it due to my BFF Alyssa, you can use her name. Thank you because I used it. Who also loves Morbid, by the way. Thank you, Alyssa. Alyssa! Told me I severely spelled Ottoman wrong. I mean, that happens. I would have done that too. I don't spell things correct.
I realized that in an effort to stay on topic and not get distracted a million times like I tend to do, that my tail was actually pretty short and needed more zest. Oh, I love zest. We love zest, darling. We're going for the zest. However, if you want a quick one, then feel free to use the original version. I'm not picky. I want this one. Yeehaw. Let's get into it.
I'm from Florida, hence my yeehaw. I was wondering. Yeehaw. Anywho, I'm a full-time dog nanny. That's awesome. Another dream job. That's a fucking great job. That I could handle. Yeah. I could do that. My IBS could definitely take that. And they said, yes, you could call it a pet sitter, but dog nanny sounds way cooler. I like dog nanny. I agree. Dog nanny. Yeah. A nanny for dogs. Yeah.
For context, back in the day, I used to groom dogs full time and give them snazzy haircuts. Shout out to Ash. I know it's not the same, but still, we were both some sort of hairstylist. It's also probably better because dogs can't talk. Yeah. And you got to make those dogs look fresh. Oh, it makes sense. One thing I'm going to miss about TikTok is watching dog grooming videos. Yes.
When they make them look like little teddy bears. Little teddy bears. Little teddy bears. And they put the little bows on their hair.
Oh, I love it.
I love that. Back then, I didn't dog nanny much since I was focused on being a dog barber. But there was a family with two dogs that I have always made time to nanny for. And I have claimed the dogs as my own since then. I would do that too. I visit them three to five times a week.
I'd like to think if the doggies were to become parentless for whatever reason that they would come live with me over anyone else in the family. I love how dark that thought is. If their entire family died, I feel like I would get custody of them. I feel like if for some reason their parents just...
weren't here anymore that i would get those dogs they just like vanished off the entire earth i love your mind yeah it's good i've had dogs written to me in people's wills that's like high praise that's the highest of praise like truly are you leaving me your dogs damn I mean, I trust you with them for sure, but I wouldn't want to disrupt your cats.
I know.
Because I care about those cats. Yeah, thank you. I care about those dogs.
We'll figure it out later. We'll figure it out.
Off camera. It's cool.
She's not going anywhere.
Yeah, you know. Let's hope they stay alive because while I want all the dogs in the world, I already have two amazing fur babies of my own. And if I end up with more, I may need to get a bigger house. Yeah. Well, alrighty, for the first few years, the family mentioned above lived in a beautiful, safe-feeling house. Well, not anymore. Uh-oh. Last year, they moved.
The pet parent, as I like to call it, had mentioned that her mother, who previously owned the home, left behind some antique items such as vintage mirrors, figurines, and the scariest dolls you have ever seen. All throughout the house. Plus, the house is covered in old-timey wallpaper, which isn't super relevant other than the spooky-ooky vibes. I love, which isn't super relevant, but spooky-ooky.
I love, like, vintage-y wallpaper.
Oh, me too.
In fact, there's a wallpaper man at my house right now figuring out how much wallpaper I need to order. Which is really badass. I'm so excited. It makes me want to wallpaper things. I'm going to order so much wallpaper. I love that. Flash forward to the first time I had a slumber party with the dogs there. There was a double closet in the room I was staying in.
I was hearing sounds from one side of the closet throughout the night, kind of like a tapping or soft banging noise. I'm a scaredy cat in general, so this was a huge nope for me. I opened that side of the closet only to find creepy dolls in rocking chairs. Specifically, doll-sized rocking chairs. You said in rocking chairs or and rocking chairs? In rocking chairs.
I just pictured like dolls on one side, multiple rocking chairs on the other. And these are dolls in their doll-sized rocking chairs. Just tiny rocking chairs. Ready? I'm going to look at every camera and say no. No, no, no. That's not even my camera, but I'm going to look at it and say no. Uh-uh.
not up in here no it reminds me of ma i love that bitch i love that bitch so much but at home in one of our hallways ma had i'm not shitting your dicks guys she had three like big like three three story cases yeah of dolls yeah and let me tell you when you're like sneaking home at night after like a little
The dolls?
You sneak home at night fully sober. You walk up the stairs in the daytime at that house fully sober. They're going to eat you. The dolls. They're coming at you. They're staring at you. She loves it. Oh, and I had to walk past every case to get to my room. I think that's why. So obviously I grew up in that house. Yeah. And I grew up with those dolls. Yeah, that's your mom.
I am not freaked out by dolls. And I think it's because I spent my entire formative years Being exposed to those dolls being in my life at all times. I spent a lot of time being exposed to those dolls too. And I. I don't know. I hate them. I mean, I don't know what it did. Because I think I'm just so used to them. I was used to her getting dolls for different like holidays.
I think there's a puppy coin. There is a puppy coin. She wants to say hello. She said, you're talking about doggies and I'm a dog. Hello. That's definitely a Blanche. That's definitely a Blanche. She said, I like the 1920s. My name's Blanche. Can I wear a dress? But yeah, I'm not freaked out by dolls. Like dolls don't freak me out in general.
Doll.
Now I'm just thinking rural doll. Yeah. But yeah, I don't like dolls. What a journey that went on. That's the inside of my brain for you. Now I'm thinking Roald Dahl. And you know what? James and the Giant Peach. Peaches. Peaches. James and the Giant Peach is Roald Dahl, right? Yeah. Oh, I thought you said James and the Giant Peach is a real doll, right? And I said...
Did you see the math going on? Yeah, it's Roald Dahl. Yeah, we're here. No, it is. We're here. We're here with you.
We're here and we're getting back into the story.
Yeah, it connects. It connects. Wait, Peach is here. At first, though, again, I misunderstood you. We're not getting back into it. I thought you said roll call. Roll call! Mikey! Present. I'm still big red. Yes. All right. Here we are. I love it. After that, the closet kept opening by itself overnight. No.
I would go to sleep only to wake up with it being open and seeing the creepy dolls staring into my mother freaking soul. Eek. My sister, who doesn't believe in ghosts, told me to compliment the dolls and ask them to chill, which I did. I think she believes in ghosts then. She does because she's like, you better make friends with them. She said be nice to them so they don't eat your soul.
She said, which I did. I told them they were very pretty, but were freaking me out. Not sure if it helped, though, or if you're supposed to talk to spooky dolls in general. Oops. After this, it went on for days to the point that I needed my boyfriend, a complete skeptic, to come stay with me out of fear. He didn't believe any of it. The closet had those accordion type doors that scrunch open.
He put an ottoman or ottoman.
i like that whatever one however you spell it footrest thingy i sure don't know how to spell it and still can't figure it out elissa thought i was trying to spell abdomen abdomen that's what i thought when i first read this tale i think it's o-t-t-o-m-a-n that's what i thought because i think it's ottoman or is that like ottoman empire who's that that's like that who the fuck is who's empire
a time period. Oh, who knew? Which one? The Ottoman Empire. When was that? I can't tell you. I will claim ignorance on that. I don't know what time period it was. There's also a Vampire Weekend song that played at our wedding called Ottoman. I like that song. It was our cake cutting song. It was. Mine was... Keep going.
Sorry. No, you go ahead. Mine was... I wanna be loved by you just you and nobody else but you.
I feel like we're unhinged today.
We are.
I am feeling like I am in orbit right now. Technically, I think aren't we all in orbit? We are sober as a judge, as always, and I am in orbit. Yeah. Yeah. Orbit. Or beat. I am in space. Oh, the auto... Ottoman Empire. Oh, I thought you said... No, no, I did think you said empire. Did you just hear my stomach? Yeah, I did, actually. It was insane.
I can't tell the fucking mic.
Oh, the Ottoman Empire was an absolute and constitutional monarchy that ruled over a large area of... Oh, I remember this. It's in like the very low numbers.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The 14th.
Well, the 14th century to the early 20th century, though. I don't know a lot about it. I will not claim to. It's also known as the Turkish Empire. I've heard of that.
There you go.
You know.
All right. So he put an ottoman, not the empire, but the footrest thingy in front of the closet. So I would feel safe and would know that the closet wouldn't be able to open. Well, there you go. Joke's on him because the next morning, the other side of the closet was open. He asked if I had done it, to which I said, no. Uh-uh. No, sir.
No, no, boyfriend.
No, sir. I told you this place was spooky. It's spooky. My goodness. Honestly, I'm glad he got spooked out because now he believes me. After that, I hadn't stayed in the house until a month ago. This time I was offered to stay in a different bedroom, to which I gladly accepted.
yes please there were no creepy dolls but a few odd things there was an exterior house light right outside the window that would turn on and off throughout the night i figured it was a sensor issue or at least that's what i tried to convince myself the bathroom would randomly make weird noises like weird gurgle noises that sounded like they were coming from the ceiling that's the ghost of me
Just gurgling up in the ceiling. Yes. That was me a second ago. Yeah.
Did you guys see that?
My stomach was like. We got to like. I don't even know if we'll need to, but we need to see if we can like amplify that. Yeah, because I'm hungry. Me too. Maybe just another house issue. The flipping wall made weird banging noises off and on too. But I had to pretend it was all just a coincidence anyways, because duh, it's better to avoid problems. It really is.
But then throughout the night and only at nighttime, I would get an aggressive smell of peach in my nose. That's nice. That is really nice. At first, when I was reading it, I thought you were going to say pee. Yeah, pee wouldn't be great. Like urine. Urine. Urine, but peaches? Peaches, I'll take. Not like an aroma in the room, but like all the way up my nose. How rude. That is a little bit rude.
It was as if somebody actually shoved an entire ripe peach up my nostril. No thanks, ghosty. Maybe the dogs were farting and whoever in the afterlife felt bad and they were like, you shouldn't smell bad because you're so sweet and you take care of these dogs. They said, here's some peaches. Take some peaches. Millions of peaches. Peaches for free. Up in your nose.
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Bank products are issued by Evolve Bank and Trust member FDIC. I searched for outlets with air fresheners and didn't find anything. It kept occurring the whole stay, only at random creepy times at night. At this point, I decided there was only one logical option. I had to accept that the ghost really wanted me to know that they smelled good, because what else am I going to do?
I'm stuck here for two weeks. I told the ghostie that I was just there to take care of the pups and asked it to chillax a little so that we could be, you know, buddies. Fair. Not sure that helped either, since those occurrences kept happening over the two weeks. It's safe to say that I was a little bit sleep-deprived, but Peach Ghostie never harmed me, so we're on good terms now.
Yeah, I would say so. Anyways, I've avoided the creepy dolls at all costs, since, like I said, I befriended my peachy ghost friend. Maybe. I'm spending another week at the house now, so maybe I'll have more ghostly encounters. Keeps it weird, but not so weird that ghosts shove very fragrant peaches up your nose.
attaching pictures of the cute puppies just for fun below as well as scary dolls also going to add my personal fur babies because i love them so so so much i could just melt thanks for everything you guys really are the best so are you i love you oh those are scary the dolls also that scary ship captain doll is a little little much oh you're pupper too wait i need to look at this look at them
All right.
We're in orbit. She's not okay. I'm not okay. I'm going to read Listener Tale. Was my dog possessed? Yes. Maybe the theme is dogs. The answer is yes. The theme is fur babies. I literally picked this Listener Tale because you are so gorge and so is your partner and so are your dogs. I showed it to you already. Oh, that picture? Yeah. I was like, wow. And I was like, pick that.
And then I said I want to look like you in my next life. It's true. She did. All right. So this Listener Tale, I think I can say your name. So it's hot mess pooches and it says, hey, ladies, I fucking love y'all. I fucking love you. This is long as fuck. Some of it's ADHD ramble, but oh, well, cool. We just did that for about 42 minutes.
Yeah.
Tale number one. And you're still here. I did the double space large font put a pho because I'm old and did not wear my glasses while typing this because that would have been the smart thing to do.
I've attached a story about the time I think my dog was possessed with a side story about how my uncle was not the Circleville letter writer and how I almost got married in the Rampert Street murder house. My life is fucking weird. Feel free to use my first name. My last name may sound familiar. And the first name is Natalie. Oh, there it is. I was like, I literally went like this.
I was like, do it. Natalie. I like, what's the, oh, is it Sue Ann? Jo Ann.
Jo Ann. That's my favorite one she does. Jo Ann. Hold on, now I need water. Jo Ann.
I can't do it because I'll start coughing forever. I know it hurts a little bit. All right. My name is Natalie. Feel free to use my name and any other names in my story. Will do Natalie.
Will do Natalie.
Oh, man. I don't remember exactly when I started listening to you because what the fuck is time anymore? But I will say. Agreed. You two have kept me company as I transported rescue dogs all over the country for the last few years. Oh, my goodness. Your podcast has helped me keep my eyes peeled as I travel thousands of miles, often only accompanied by dogs.
You two have taught me a ton of lessons that have probably saved my ass. Fresh air is for dead people. Hell yeah. And have helped validate my true disdain for humans. Love that. That's what we're here for. That is what we're here for. I've been meaning to. People are good at people and you should know that. Yeah. Sometimes they people good. Most of the time they people bad.
They people good so they people bad. And that's why we disdain them. Exactly. I like using disdain as a verb. I like it. All right. I've been meaning to write for a while but as the director of a non-profit dog rescue. Bitch, can you get any cooler? I hope you mention what it is because I'll say it. Yeah.
Anytime I would sit down and start typing, I would give into exhaustion and find myself falling asleep at my keyboard. I understand that. A recent car accident, I'm sorry, finally forced me to slow down and gave me the time to write. To tell you how long I've been trying to get a listener tilt into you, the case I was going to write to you about originally was actually covered in 2022, episode 328.
Whoa. The Circleville Letter Writer. That was one of my favorite episodes to do. That's a wild one. That's a really interesting case. This case is what sparked my interest in true crime. Why, you may ask? Why? All right. I looked it up and I think it's Fresh Hour. So Paul Fresh Hour was my uncle. Some of my very first memories include visiting him in prison when I was just a young man. Whoa.
When the Unsolved Mysteries episode about the case came out, my dad sat me down and we watched together. My family didn't talk about the case very often, but none of us believed that my uncle Paul was capable of attempted murder. You remember that? Yeah. He ended up getting put away in prison for like 10 years. Yes.
damn and that's your uncle and i wasn't so sure about that either yeah he was actually the person this man would have given you the shirt off his back and was the first to ask how many dog how my dogs were at my family gatherings when he was found unresponsive in his car after the heart attack that eventually took his life his trusty toy poodle tommy was by his side Oh, Tommy.
Tommy, the toy poodle.
I love that.
I want a poodle.
My dad.
What? That was just like felt like an intrusive thought. You were like, I want a poodle. Kind of. My dad. Must have poodle.
Tommy.
Oh, my God. My dad was one of seven children, and my Uncle Paul was my favorite after my dad. I truly believe Karen Sue, his ex-wife, set him up. Paul served 10 years in prison to protect his son, who was roped into the setup by his mom. Yes, Paul was absolutely the kind of person who would give up his own freedom for those he loved.
Unfortunately, Karen Sue passed away last month and has taken her secret to the grave. Oh, man. But that's not what this listener tale is about, so I'm going to give you a short backstory without rambling, but I'm not going to make any promises because ADHD. I feel that. I grew up going to my dad's house in Columbus, Ohio, and my mom's house just outside of Houston, Texas.
For those of you who do not know, New Orleans is a mere five hours from Houston if your mom drives like a bat out of hell. That's crazy. I know. I didn't realize that. Geography. Geography. I was going to say golgraphy. Golgraphy. Back in 2002. Back in 2002, I was a pretty angsty teen. Spoiler alert. I am now a full-fledged misanthropic elder golf. Oh, everything you're saying, I'm just like, yep.
Yeah. As soon as I read this, I said, you speak to like me in a certain way, but you really speak to Elena. When you just said 2002, you were just an angsty teen. I'm like, yep. Yeah. Same girl. Five. Yeah, it sounds like a thunderstorm. Yeah, you're 15. You can hear it. Cool. Guys, I'm hungry. She hungry. I'm hungry for your tails.
All right, so misanthropic elder goth and learned that my favorite musician lived close enough to talk my alcoholic mother into weekend trips to the Crescent City. Hmm. She would drink and gamble while I would roam the streets with friends, hoping to run into the dark lord of industrial music himself. Do you know who that is? The Trent Reznor? Is that, he's Nin, right? Yeah, he's Nin.
I just, I don't know, I'm just, the dark lord of industrial music just makes me think of Trent Reznor. Yeah, I could see that. But am I right? I don't think it ends up saying. Oh. The city immediately owned a piece of my soul. If you have never been to Nolans, it's not like any other city you will ever visit.
I could go on and on about the food, the jazz, the drinks, the art, the history, the best bar down the alleyway. You'll miss if you blink the tarot card readers in Jackson Square or the speakeasy that the vampire sent you to above the unassuming Bourbon Street Bar. That sounds fucking awesome. Yeah, it does.
It's almost like an alternate universe, and if you are sensitive, the energy will keep you coming back. It's like a drug if you're a weirdo who has never felt like you have had a home anywhere else. Aw, I love that. Beautifully said, but made me sad. That really is really... But you know what? You got knowledge. I got knowledge.
As an adult, I make any excuse to visit and will often wrap up my dog transport trips with a stop in my favorite city to decompress. That is. One of the strangest sights I have ever seen was the French Quarter... Yes. Yeah. One of the strangest sights I've ever seen was the French Quarter late spring 2020. My boyfriend at the time had never been to New Orleans.
And so I thought we would stop on our way back to Texas from the Midwest. It was a literal ghost town. Plenty of souls, but very few were living. Ooh. I like that. You're like very poetic. You are very poetic. Oh. Okay. And he will probably shit his pants if he hears y'all tell this story. Hell yeah, Jeff. Mostly because that's his name. That's a great reason to call him that. It is.
It's the perfect reason. We found an amazing deal on a dog-friendly historic hotel right in the French Quarter, so we decided to treat ourselves after another 2,000-mile trip moving dogs to homes and partner rescues Midwest. That's amazing. I know. I always travel with a few of my own personal dogs because I have separation anxiety, but
So a long walk around the French Quarter was the first thing we did. This is where I mentioned that I'm also a professional dog trainer and behavior specialist. My dogs have traveled with me all over the country and are used to staying in hotels. After a long walk around the French Quarter, we checked out. We checked into our hotel, unloaded our bags and set up dog crates in our room.
We made plans to have dinner and join a haunted history walking tour. I want to do that so bad. That sounds I want to do that right now. Let's book a trip. Let's go. Jeff and I, Jeff, his real name, and I got the dog settled and walked out the hotel room to head to dinner. I always wait outside the hotel room door to listen for my dogs to settle. But this evening, that didn't happen. Atticus.
I love that. Atticus. I love that. Wait until you hear the next name. My most behaved deaf boy was scratching at the door and his deaf adopted sister, Dita Von Flees. Atticus and Dita Von Flees. Dita Von Flees is the best dog name in the history of dog names. Hands down. Like nobody else name your dog again. That beats Kevin. Way better than Kevin. That beats Kevin. Valentina. Kevin. The best.
Dita Von Flees. But Dita Von Flees was crying in her crate. Oh, no. We figured they just hadn't had enough time out after a long trip and decided to take them to dinner and on the walking tour with us. I'm attaching a photo of myself with the three dogs who were with us on the trip. Lilith, Dita, and Atticus. And Lilith. My tattoo's name is Lois. Shut up.
Now, an evening of perusing the French Quarter in August may seem like a lot for most dogs, but these are young Dalmatians, and they're fucking adorable. Oh my god, they're stupid cute. They were literally bred for running miles upon miles. We had dinner outside next to Jackson Square, which is now full of artists, street performers, and psychics, but was once where the city held their executions.
I scanned the square for my favorite tarot card reader, but I didn't see her. I'd been drawn to her several years prior because of the wolves on her altar cloths.
Oh, that's cool.
My readings would often end with a discussion about our dogs, and something she had said has stuck with me. Dogs with, I think it's heterochromia, I think? It's the eye thing. Two different colored eyes can see the living and the dead. Oh, I fucking love that. It is. For some reason, it gives me like Game of Thrones, White Walkers vibes.
Oh my, like dire wolves.
Like, oh, I fucking love that idea. Yeah. Specifically, they can see the living with their dark eye and the dead with their light eye, which I think is so fucking cool. I'm obsessed with that idea. Yeah. Oh, I love that. Well, on this trip, we didn't have any dogs with heterochromia, but Dita's eyes are both ice blue. And I wanted to see what she would say about that.
Which, that's probably, like, rare for a Dalmatian. Yeah, I would think so. Usually they have dark eyes, right?
I think so.
Yeah. We finished our dinner and spent the rest of our evenings on a haunted history tour through the French Quarter. There were locations where the dogs seemed to be bothered by something, and they definitely tried pulling us across the street upon approaching the LaLaurie Mansion. But otherwise, it was a normal long walk.
We went back to the hotel and settled for the night as we were all finally exhausted. Then, at 3am, Jeff woke me up, telling me he thinks Dita's having a seizure. I come, launch myself out of bed, and see her crate rocking back and forth. He throws open the door and tries to grab her. Holy shit. Aww. Aww. She launched herself across the room one more time and attempted to climb up the curtains.
She was in such a frenzy, I feared that she would hit the glass with such force that she would yeet herself out the window and down three stories to, I think, DeCowder Street? Holy shit. After what seemed like a half hour, Dita finally exhausted herself and retreated back into her crate. Jeff and I thought for sure we would be asked to leave the hotel, but no knock came or call.
The next morning when we checked out, no one mentioned a thing. Dita had never had an episode like this before, and four years later she has not had another one like it, nor have I seen anything like it with any other dog. Was my dog possessed? Could she see the dead? Or is she just a nutty Dalmatian? I can go with possessed. I think possessed.
Yeah.
Especially the fact that they were kind of like acting strange while you were on the walking tour and like out of character. I tried doing research on the hotel we stayed at, but I didn't find anything particularly damning. The whole French Quarter is haunted if you ask me. Yeah.
And if you don't believe in that sort of thing, there are plenty of vampires, witches, and voodoo practitioners who may tickle your fancy there instead. That's so fucking cool. Side note, many years ago I was engaged, like any good goth, I planned to get married in New Orleans. Yeah.
Hell yeah.
I found a little museum on Rampart Street where we could have a small ceremony and celebration. My ex-fiance's mom was outraged when she found out that I had put the deposit down on the Rampart Street murder house, the Zach and Addie story. Oh my goodness. Yeah.
I didn't realize I would have been getting dressed for my wedding in the same space where Zach had dismembered his girlfriend Addie before jumping to his death. I didn't make the connection until after enduring her outrage. Two weeks prior to the wedding on Friday, October 13th, my father had a massive stroke, causing us to call off the wedding.
Long story short, had I gone through my wedding, I don't think I would be here today. I have absolute chills. I hadn't read that part earlier. I just read the dog part. Wow. Whoa. Wow. Holy shit. Some kind of an intervention happened.
Yeah.
I don't know what happened there, but damn. That's crazy. I'm glad that you're here. Yeah. And I'm sorry that you had to. And I'm glad that that didn't happen. And I'm sorry that you had to endure what you did. Yeah. Holy shit. I'm adding a better pic of Dita Von Fleas and some more of my dogs as well as a pic of the love of my life, Salem. That's who that is in the picture. Stop.
And you guys together are absolutely gorgeous. Literally a work of art. I picked the tail because I said I literally want to look like this woman in my next life. She literally did. Like, what? Like, she did. Hand to whoever. Me on her. I thought you were talking about like a judge or something.
And I was like, I think it's your honor. You were like, excuse me. I was like, did you break? What happened?
I don't understand it because, you know, you're all excited and stuff. I thought you guys would appreciate that my future husband named himself after a sassy black cat, not the town or the witch trial.
Obsessed. I'm obsessed. Anywho, keep it weird. We will and we know that you will. That's fucking awesome. Even, like, on an off day, she looks like this. You're absurdly beautiful and just, like, radiate nice, good energy. You're a work of art. And you and Salem are just, like, the cutest couple I've ever seen in my life. Oh, my God. You guys are just stupid gorgeous.
And the dogs.
Wait, I gotta show you the picture of Dita. Oh, Deedah. Look at her eyes.
I know.
She does have beautiful ice blue eyes. They're like almost white.
Yeah. They're so blue.
They're gorgeous. Crazy. All right. Let's see. Should I do creepy doll listener tale?
Another one? That's a good one.
So this one's called creepy doll listener's tale. This one's so good. Hi, weirdos. My name is Angelica. Yes, like the Rugrats, you can use my name. If you decide to pick this tale to read on the podcast, I will simply pass away. R.I.P. Wow. That's, like, a normal thing to say to that, but, like, I feel like we did the same inflection, too. Yeah, we did. Get out of my head. Damn.
I've been a fan for about a year, and the first episodes I listened to were your Albert Fish ones. What a way to start. Babe, you stuck around after that?
Yeah.
Damn. For real. Damn. I almost left after that. I tried, and they said, you're contracted. They said no. We both said, okay, that was it. I listened to it at the gym and was cackling at all your jokes so hard that my husband stopped his workout and wanted to know what I was listening to. When I told him this podcast about Albert Fish, he looked horrified. He said, qual?
When I reassured him it was funny, not because of what he did, but because of your guy's absolute roast of this man. We do be good at that. He understood and became interested in the podcast. Side note, I'm not a huge true crime junkie since I already know how horrendous people can be and it makes me sad. Same. Shout out to my fellow social workers.
Oh, yeah, you definitely know how horrible people can be. But I did take a serial killers course in Creek Community College and learned a lot about them. It was interesting to say the least. However, I'm more impressed with y'all's interpretations and retellings. I've learned so much that I think I may have to scrub my brain clean and start fresh, but like in a good way because I love you.
Yeah, I try to do that a lot too.
Yeah, I'll shut the fuck up now, but please know I absolutely adore you both and thank you for always making me laugh and for keeping it weird. This year has been a rough one and I'm only 25. And what year was this? 25 was one of my worst years. Oh, it's 2024. So yeah, it was a shitty year. Yeah. And I'm only 25. Seriously, if things keep on this trajectory, I'm not sure I'll make it very far.
You will. Yeah, this is going to be a better year. Getting your license is like super exciting and then getting your first car and all that. What's not like the most exciting part of all of that is insurance. I remember being like, where do I even start? Why are there 452 insurance companies? Which one actually cares about me? I'm so stressed.
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Do things typically get better or worse? But for reals, listening to you guys helps distract me from the fuckery that is life. I am currently unemployed. Shout out to having a mentee bee. And writing this story has filled up a lot of my time. And for that, I am grateful for the opportunity, even if it is not selected. Oh, girl.
It's selected.
And Elena broke. I literally broke while saying it. She said selected. Sorry for any typos. Why did I laugh like that?
Did you hear that? Neither of you reacted to that. Like, am I Dinavan, please? What the fuck? Mom?
Not her. Never mind. She's like an old man Muppet.
I feel like an old man Muppet. Marley and Marley.
Marley and Marley. That's a banger. I didn't like the Muppets for a long time. Come at me, bro. Confession time.
i know my mother-in-law was really pissed about it but we watched the uh what's up at christmas carol i was so against watching it for a long time but it's drew's favorite movie so i was like i have to it's slaps michael caine had no business going as hard as he goes in that he didn't he is he's top notch yeah no that's a good movie yeah i can awesome i would i feel um remiss yeah right as you should yeah
Anyway, though, back to your story. 25 sucked balls. Yeah. 24 and 25 were fucking shit. It's tough. 26 got better because I got engaged. And then 27 and 28 have been fun. So I think the closer that I think 25 is like a hard point in life because you're like in the middle. And I think friends get weird at that point in time.
Yeah.
And I think the closer you get to 30. Yeah. When you get into your 30s, I feel like it starts being awesome. Coasting. Yeah. Like I feel like I the closer I got to 30.
you figure it out and then i had my my twins at 30 yeah so it was like the beginning of like awesomeness yeah i think yeah i think the the closer you get to like making your own family or like even like you know getting married or anything like that and like choosing your own space yeah it's you get happier to me my 20s are overrated yeah i think they are to me in my opinion maybe your 20s are awesome and like for that i mean good for you i haven't heard anyone ever say that no i've heard everybody be like fuck my 20s
I think your 20s are just like a redo of your teens, but like with a little more information. Yeah. And then your 30s are like, wow, we got to we got to reel it in. We got to like overhaul this whole thing.
Yeah.
So it's going to be good. Yeah. So attached is a double space put a foot and word document and times new Roman size 14 font documenting the time my dad found old dolls hidden inside of a wall. Damn. As in to the windows to the walls. I have attached photos as well for viewing pleasure. I'm breaking again. Sorry in advance if they give you the creeps. They seem to have that effect on people.
I hope it's not too long and not too boring. Keep it weird. And maybe don't look at these photos after dark. Much love, Angelica. Yeah. No, it brings viewing displeasure, but like in a fun way. Yeah. Also, the name of this listener tale is fucking top notch. To the walls. To the sweat drip down my dolls. It is to the windows, to the walls, to the sweat drip down my dolls. Love it. You're an icon.
A little background may be helpful before we get into the story. My father does home improvement and often has to demo houses. He gets to tear down walls, break shit, and have a good time doing it. That would also be a fun job. I literally paid to do that once. Yeah, it's called a rage room. Hell yeah, and I want to do it again. We should.
During this process, sometimes he gets lucky and finds treasures. Let me tell you, rich people love to throw away perfectly good shit all the time. We got a $3,000 new stove for our home because said rich people wanted to throw it in a dumpster. Damn. Why the fuck are you throwing out a perfectly good fucking stove? Yeah, donate that shit.
Anyway, my dad has found some great things along the way and usually passes these things to me. He's given me books, CDs, records, antiques, and housewares. On one occasion, he brought home 10 trash bags full of vintage clothing, including one deceased woman's wedding dress and her mother's wedding dress from the 1920s. Huh? That's why I picked this one. Was it mine?
it wasn't I'm not from the 1920s it's like thrifting but I don't need to do any work or spend any money While my dad has many interesting stories and has one of the most chaotic lives I know, this story is not really about him, although he would love it if it were. He would fill up an entire episode of Listener Tales just telling you about the past few years of his life.
But alas, this is a story about the time my dad found a case of dolls inside of a wall.
Yeah.
My dad was demoing a house somewhere in Baltimore. It had already been vacated. We know nothing of the previous owners. And the new owners had asked my dad to break down a few walls for a new project. Piece of cake. My dad does this all the time. As he's doing his thing, probably while listening to Bruce Springsteen, he could see something hidden, hiding inside the wall.
My dad has seen a lot of shit in his day, but nothing like this. He starts to rip away the wall, and what he found shook him. It's a handmade case with a plexiglass front with some tiny, creepy-ass looking dolls inside. Each doll was zip-tied to a wooden board with holes in it. Why? Of attached photos.
why she has attached isn't that the scariest shit you've ever seen why are they they're zip tied like like by the neck yeah yeah another weirder shit you ever i don't like it i don't love it and they're all different little creepy dolls like some of our baby dolls yeah wait till you find out what they are I don't like these at all. Spooky ooky ooky. Holy shit. He just found that on a wall.
Yeah, there's a lot going on there. I mean, they're kind of cute in a creepy way, right? No.
No.
100%.
I sat in the living room with him as he recounted his tale. He was sure that they were haunted because why else were they buried in someone's wall? That's the thing. I thought they were a little creepy, but overall endearing. And I was more so curious of the origins of the dolls. Me too. I'm curious of the origins. I don't find them endearing, though.
I also found it interesting they were zip-tied by their necks to the board. Same. To keep them there for viewing or to contain them from committing doll acts of evil, we will never know. I think the latter. Yeah, they've been zip-tied and secured behind the plexiglass for as long as I have had them.
And I would be lying if I said I was not at least a little bit scared of the idea of releasing them from their habitat. In fear that maybe the case has been blessed or whatever, and opening it would unleash some little doll demons, just like in the movies. And I'm not about to be the dumb bitch who dies from her mistake. Good for you, man. See?
if they aren't right if they do decide to one day become haunted i like that they like they'll just be like dormant and then they'll just become haunted someday they reserve that right yeah oh thank you y'all will absolutely be the first to know if i am still alive to tell the tale hell yeah brother thank you hell yeah that's an honor that's an honor it is i also want to share that we moved recently and the movers refused to move them to our new home they were a little creeped out by them that's actually hilarious i wish i was a fly on the wall for that conversation
Like, they just go in the other room and they're like, no, dude, I'm not moving that.
Yeah.
And the other one's like, I'm not touching it either. I'm not doing that. This is kind of part of our job. Like, what are we supposed to tell them? And then they just go to you. We're supposed to be grown adults. Why are we touching the dolls? I'm not touching the dolls. Like, I can hear it in my head. I guess so. Like, I can hear it.
I liked your bit.
I'm going to write a whole script out.
Alina's next book is just the movers conversation about the dolls. Just their conversation.
Now, on my search to understand more, I came across a group on Facebook that is specifically for dolls and doll collecting. Oh, shit. I just want to say that those guys are on it and very good at what they do. Shout out to that group. Hey, group. Hey, group. As soon as I posted the dolls, people went crazy, and I had multiple offers in my inbox.
Apparently, these things are worth something besides just nightmares. From what I could gather, the dolls inside are considered penny dolls. During World War II, soldiers would buy them for their children and bring them home to the U.S. They are rare and very sought after by doll lovers and collectors. The dolls likely have real human hair. No, thank you.
I don't want to know where they got the hair and hope to never find out given what was going on in the world during that time. That's exactly what I was thinking. Yeah, no, thank you. You can tell by looking at them that someone took great care to make the dolls as detailed as possible.
Maybe the person who, I don't know, hid them in the walls, still very sus, knew they were valuable and wanted to preserve them and keep them away from the sunlight. Or maybe they were fucking terrified of them. Yeah. But I don't, if I was so scared of something, I don't think I'd put it in my wall. No. So it can just like breed contempt for me in there? I don't want that. Breed contempt.
I don't want that. You are a writer. I do not want that. Maybe the original owner tried to get rid of them, but each time they threw them away, they reappeared on the person's doorstep like that creepy Ouija board in that one listener's tale.
I hate that.
I think that's what happened. So they put them in the wall. I'm not sure what the doll's origin story is, but I think we can all agree that hiding them in your wall is a bit strange. I think it's funny. I think it's kind of funny. I think it's a practical joke. I think they were blessed because they were haunted and probably ruining the original owner's life.
And they were told to put it in the wall so that they would never be found.
probably and disturbed and now they've been disturbed i feel like you if you didn't want them to be disturbed though you'd like bury them in the backyard but that's hard because there's a lot of them and it's big putting them in a wall is just like putting something in a wall is like tough though you gotta like cut the wall well that's the other thing that's a lot that's why a practical joke that's pretty intense practice oh i will commit to a practical i mean samesies but how many people will do that
poll you know yeah let's see would you would you open your wall as a practical joke i just thought of jasper on tiktok when she's like who wants buffalo chicken wings raise your hand what was the first one if you want was it mozzarella stick i think it was you want mozzarella raise your hand buffalo chicken fingers My dad gave these dolls to me when I was around 18 and I'm 25 now.
I live with my husband, cat, and dog Luna. Pictures attached. I heard you guys were into that kind of thing.
We are.
We love animals. The dolls hang out in my basement because my husband is thoroughly freaked out by them, despite my attempts to reassure him. I would love to display them somewhere as a conversation piece, but that's unlikely to ever happen. Here's what I want you to do. I want you to make them into a coffee table with the plexiglass being the top of it. That's a conversation.
That is such a good idea. Do it.
Tell your husband we sent you.
It's two things. It's such a good idea, and it's also something that a weird couple would propose to do on flea market flips. Yes. Absolutely. Side note, I used to be super afraid of dolls when I was younger. I blame this on my aunt, who decided to place her super realistic toddler doll in her hallway with a knife in its hand when I was a child. Yeah, that's her fault. That's her fault.
We'll fight her if you want. That's her fault. We can fight her. Yeah. A real knife from her kitchen. She got a kick out of that. Thankfully, I'm now a huge horror fan and love everything spooky and scary. And funny enough, I fucking love dolls now. Really? The only thing that can truly terrify me are giants.
And I am betting and pray whoever will fucking listen to whoever will fucking listen that they are not real. I also don't like giant things. You don't. She doesn't like giants. You don't like giant things. Or giants. Like, I don't want like, like, I mean, like, you know, those ogres sort of. Yeah. Yeah. Like the earth giants from Frozen. That would scare the shit out of me. Yeah.
That would be fucked up. I don't like that at all. Well, they could just like squish you. Yeah. I don't like it. I can pretty much handle anything scary. But when it comes to giants, a line is crossed. And if they ever do turn out to be real, I will exit this life before things get too spicy. Just kidding, just kidding, just kidding. I like how niche that is.
Anyway, I will keep these dolls probably forever. All jokes aside, the history and craftsmanship are incredible. I know I sound like a huge weirdo, but hey, we all have our things. You're not weird. Now that I've given you some spookies, I need to give you some giggles. I also included a photo of my Princess Diana rip doll that my mother got me for a few years ago.
I was convinced for years that I was related to her, that she would rescue me to be a princess with her. I love that for you. Then I found out that she was very dead and that I was not a princess. Anyways, my husband has convinced me that this is not. It's not Princess Diana. It's Owen Wilson wearing a dress. He's not wrong. You might be right. He might be right. Can I get a wow?
In your best Owen Wilson voice. I don't know.
wow is that good randomly the other night we were at a hotel and i woke up at 3 a.m to owen wilson on the tv and i was like what the fuck is this and then i saw j-lo and i was like am i what hello they were in like a weird movie together recently really yeah she's like a pop star and she's like dating some i think she's dating bad bunny i think i saw clips of this and it looked insane i woke up at 3 a.m and i was just like
That's a fever dream, is what that is. I watched like 15 minutes of it. Oh my god, you showed me little Luna, aka Luna Tuna. Luna Tuna! I'm obsessed with Luna Tuna. Aw, you guys are cute. You guys are adorable. Give me Luna Tuna. Yeah. Immediately. Wait, also, you have to put those in your wall when the time is nigh. Luna Tuna?
i'm just kidding no the dolls yes but the dolls in your wall like if you know you're gonna make an exit from the coil when you're like your walls hit my microphone not anytime soon but like when you know you're gonna when when you're like 98 yeah like when you feel like you're about to shuffle off this mortal coil just shove them in your walls just do a quick home project yeah just call a quick contractor but do it early just call them up and say
I got a job for you.
I need you to hide these dolls in my walls. I found these dolls in a wall when my dad did when I was a girl. And... Develop an accent. Okay. Before you do this. Workshop it, okay? Yeah, you'll get there. You got it. You have time. Okay. Luna Tuna for life. Luna Tuna. Luna Tuna. I don't know why I sang it, but I did. You sing lots of things. I like it. It's true, I do. It's true, I do. It's true.
That sounds like a Nana Bob song. The rewatcher. Go listen to the rewatcher. Let me take a drink of my water. I think we could probably finish on this. This one is Listener Tales. Predicting death is my sixth sense. Oh, fuck yeah. Let's go. Yeah. It says, hi, Deb Deb. Oh, you too, Ash and Elena. Oh, hey. I love you, weirdos, and hope you read this on the pod. Well, here we are.
It is a terrifying yet interesting experience, and I haven't heard a listener tell like it, so I hope it stands out. To sweeten the deal, there's a picture of a puppy and a baby. You guys know. You guys just know. Included is a 14-point double-spaced pot of fur. And this is actually my second time submitting because I sent it to the wrong email. I really want to know who got that email.
I also want to know that. Reading time is approximately 15 minutes and 15 seconds, but not unlike two weirdos I know, I stumble on words a lot. Damn. Yeah, it do be us. And this is from Millie. Millie!
the biggest and most vivacious hello to ash elena and deb deb my name vivacious vivacious my name is millie use it bitch i will millie attached a photo of moi simply because when i read i love i always love a face for context she's gorgeous so pretty you that that face card girl fuck it up fuck it up damn the mug never declined millie I know what you're thinking.
Are you a 5'11 thick indigenous woman with a bodacious booty? That's literally what I was thinking. Yes, I am. Thank you for answering that. It's giving everything. It's giving all the things I need. I love it. I'm a relatively new listener. My mouth just made a gross noise, so I'm going to say that again. I am a relatively new listener who started her morbid journey in August of 2022.
However, I'm quickly catching up to all of the episodes. I started at the most recent and I'm working my way backwards, which is apparently not what the normal is. But you know what it is? It's what we suggest. And we actually suggest that you stop at a certain point and never listen to the early ones. Yes. In fact, we were talking about this the other day. That's actually really funny. Yeah.
That we were like, whenever when somebody says they're new to the pod, we're like, are you starting from the beginning? Because we're like, are you still here? Go from newest to oldest so you can appreciate us later. I still grow off on a tangent, obviously, but the tangents that my ass would go off on, it was a different time. I think I was like, was I like 22 when we started this?
You were young.
Yeah, I was so fucking annoying. You were young and... I'm still pretty annoying, but I own it. I was annoying then, too. Yeah, I'm still annoying. Let's be annoying together. Forever. Forever. Ooh, that was a good one. It was. Mm-hmm. We didn't cheers. Never mind. I was going to say, did we make eye contact? But we did. But we did. We went, why did I forget instantly? Are you a witch?
Are you a witch? Are you a witch? Are you a wizard, Harry? Oh, God. Oh, God. We were like, we don't go on tangents anymore.
We never go on tangents. Everyone's like, this has been six hours long.
All right, back to Millie's tale. Millie! Millie! We're kind of hungry, I think. We are. I have tacos waiting for me. I have like a slaw that I made. A slaw. A slaw. With some rotis chick.
Ooh.
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So work your way backwards and stop at a certain point. However, I'm the farthest. I'm the farthest. In the fjord. I'm in the fjord. Don't start with the fjord, because then I'll go on a tangent to Conan. Uh-oh. He has a song. However, I'm the farthest thing away from normal, so it's incredibly fitting. I'm an English major, so if there are any grammatical errors, feel free to call my ass out.
I'll call the police. Whoa.
It escalated.
What?
I know you two love the art of making others defecate themselves, so please use her full name because she will take a monstrous giddy dump in her jeans. Ashley Little. Ashley just took a dump. This is her photo. This is her photo. Aw, Ashley, you're adorable. She's grudge. She's big grudge. Yeah. Okay, gushing time. I absolutely adore you two. I adore you. And I hate people, so that says a lot.
Oh my god, you are my people. and we hate people too yeah you've made your way into being a daily part of my life and when i'm driving to and from work and listen to you on my hour-long commute it feels like i have the two coolest bitches behind me in the back seat thank you who are constantly almost responsible for my untimely demise as i find myself repeatedly swerving after a laughing fit
Nor, nor. One time you made me laugh so hard when talking about dick cheese that I snotted all over myself and almost died running off the road trying to find a Kleenex. Don't do that, you two say. But if my end includes snot running down my face and tears in my eyes from hysterical laughter about dick cheese, that sounds like a good way to go. Who are we? Crazy. Who are we?
We're just literally so random.
Segwaying to the tale with death. This is about a few yet far too many times that I have predicted death. This is cray. By the way, I'm already sporting doo-doo drawers and I don't even know if you read this on the pod yet. So if I hear you reading this, then my pants are already off and on fire. I love it. I live in a very rural town in New Brunswick, Canada.
I'm talking I graduated with 12 people rural. Holy shit. I thought other people's schools were small. However, to begin this story, we set the scene in the big city of Brampton, Ontario. Brampton is about a half hour from Toronto and is way too big for my liking. I grace the lives of my parents by making my glorious entrance into this hellhole we call the world on April 4th, 2000.
That's right, Ash. I'm an Aries sun and moon and my rising is Capricorn. I see you, Elena. Oh, hell yeah. Double Aries. You are fiery as fuck. I'm married an Aries. And Capricorn, even though Capricorn is an earth sign, I feel like they're like pretty, pretty scrappy. Yeah. You're probably scrappy. Yeah, you're scrappy as fuck. And I love that about you.
I get along really well with Aries and Capricorn. Yeah. Same. Yeah. Mom and dad, John and Elena. Yeah. So make your own most likely accurate assumptions. I did. We did. My parents divorced a few years after my birth, just in 2004. But don't be sorry. It was for the best. This is hilarious. My dad found himself in the awkward situation of accidentally falling into women's vajinas.
And my mother was tired of his quote unquote slip ups. Fast forward to 2006. That's a great way to describe that. I love that. That's somebody who has healed. Yeah, you've healed. Fast forward to 2006. I'm six years old and my dad's living in Brampton with another woman who I'm glad to say he's no longer with. She was a very angry Italian woman who was a bit hard on the noggin.
Or maybe she wasn't angry and she just spoke in a perpetual scream. I'm not really sure. That's a lot. I was playing with Polly Pockets alone in my room, Ash gets it, when I had a feeling. It made me stop and pause with every strand of hair on my little body standing straight in the air as if I were hanging upside down.
This feeling and the facial expression I would have worn is comparable, I don't know why I said it like that, comparable to someone who horrifically realized that their fart had not in fact been a fart. Did you get that? They are. That's prison, Mike. I don't watch The Office. Don't yell at me. You gotta watch it, man. Maybe. Prison Mike.
I didn't have a vision, more like an awareness, that my great-grandfather, who was in perfect health, was going to die. I walked around with this weight for the entire day, asking- A six-year-old? Yeah. That's like one of your babes. Asking my dad if he had been talking to Grandpa. He said no, that he hadn't that day, but he just spoke with him the week before, and he asked why I was wondering.
"'No reason,' I replied, kicking my feet together and avoiding eye contact. "'I was just wondering.'" This feeling, I remember, was not one I wanted to share, and it kept me up most of the night. I laid in bed until sleep found me in the early hours of the morning, and I arose to my dad standing at my door, looking forlorn and also suspicious. Grandpa passed away last night, he said hesitantly.
His tone was a mix of grief and suspicion. Did this man think my small, fragile, and incapable body could walk a two-hour drive in the middle of the night and somehow unalive my grandfather? Like, come on. Oh, relatable. That makes me sad for you. I know. The memory stuck with me for a while until it began to fade as the years went on. I had forgotten about the feeling and what it felt like.
I resumed my life and paid it no mind until I was 14. I had my laptop going with karaoke songs as I was home alone and aspired to be a famous singer at the time. Hell yeah. Typically speaking, though, in order to be famous, you have to be good at singing, which I was not.
i mean do you it's subjective it's 2025 now yeah you don't really have to be good much anymore think the demon cat from pet cemetery being shook around and then thrown out a wall love that that's the most accurate description of my singing voice even to this day right in the middle of the ear piercing belt of the chorus to rolling in the deep it stopped i stopped god wait i took a vocal class once and it was rolling in the deep and i thought i slayed that shit
And then I got home and I recorded myself and I never went back to voice acting and voice lessons again. I love. I said, teacher Jamie. You said I did not roll. I'm sorry. I said auto tune would never help this. So I stopped. It reminded me of Raven from That's So Raven when she'd get a vision. The same feeling I had ejected from my homunculus? Yeah. Homunculus?
Yeah.
I'd returned with a vengeance with one major difference, the person it surrounded. This time it was my grandmother on my mom's side, Ruby, who I would later name my daughter after.
Ruby.
And this is Ruby and she's so fucking cute.
The pigtails?
You get the fuck out of here with that kid. I can't. I can't. That's a cute ass kid. I can't. Ruby. I can't. She's so fucking cute. I love her. I know. And look, she's kind of like judging whoever she's looking at. She's like, she's got like that eyebrow action. Her mom is a double Aries. I'm impressed.
Well, grandmother Ruby was the, and I, this reminds me of this lady, Judy, I used to live with who I fucking loved so much. Grandmother Ruby. Yeah. Yeah. She was a kind woman who would always be found drinking Diet Pepsi from a vintage floral glass and watching Judge Judy. Well, she'd have it on the TV, but she'd be talking so much through it that you could not understand what was happening.
Love that. And then she'd look at anyone with her and go, what's happening? Damn overly religious white women. I decided to let it go and hope that I wasn't right. But that night at 3 a.m., my grandmother was taken by ambulance and passed in the hospital. I know. I'm sorry. I went home and looked in the mirror like someone in a movie, not even sure of who I was seeing. I screamed, what the fuck?
Which was a big deal because I didn't say a single swear word until I was 17. Whoa. And I've progressed so much now that I'm convinced my child will think her name is fuck. I love how you write so hard. The feeling of confusion, dread, and fear enveloped my body like a spiky blanket. I like a spiky blanket. I like them both. I still refuse to share my curse with anyone.
And again, it went dormant for years to come. 2018 is when it returned yet again. My ex-boyfriend. We ended on good terms. Don't worry.
Oh, good.
I love that because we never hear that. I know. Rarely. My ex-boyfriend and I were living in our first apartment. I was in my first year of university, and I was sat at my makeup station one morning, putting on some semblance of a falsified, excited face for the day.
Being in university, I needed all the help I could get with the bags under my eyes and permanent look of depression that encapsulated my face. Then, spoiler alert, it hit. The feeling. Though this time would be slightly different from the previous two. This time, it wasn't someone that was directly related to me. It was my boyfriend's grandfather. The other difference was how quickly it happened.
The other two times were at least a 12-hour span between the feeling and death. This time, I had the feeling, cooked in it for about five minutes, and then my boyfriend called me. My heart fucking sank. He said, Papa didn't wake up from his sleep this morning. Aww.
i had to force myself to pretend to act shocked though it was earlier than expected i still knew it was coming is he dead i asked with a fake surprise no i think it's just diabetic coma he'll probably be fine he answered first of all who the fuck calls someone and says so so and so didn't wake up from their sleep just being like casually they're fine though he'll probably be fine like what that's probably fine that's not how you tell someone that also like probably just a diabetic coma it's like oh just that little thing oh you know yeah
Anyways, I didn't dare tell him what I knew, and I was also hoping that I was going to be wrong this time. His grandfather was a pure and kind soul. He was in his late 80s, still chopping wood, cooking, dancing, and living his life. We'd go over all the time and play skip bow, and he'd get so zoned out we'd have to yell his name 30 times to snap him out of it. Oh, my turn! He'd shout!
Oh my god, I love him. That's so sweet. I drove to the hospital to meet with them, and we went to the room he was in. Once the family was rounded up, the doctor came over and broke the news. He had a brain bleed. He said, more forcefully than I would have liked. That happens a lot. Yeah, it's very clinical. Yeah.
He's being kept alive by the machines, but once we unhook him, I don't expect him to live long after. I felt helpless. So many loved ones I knew would die, and I could do nothing but sit back and wait. That must be so hard. Yeah, that's tough. Nothing I could have done could have prevented these deaths, yet I was burdened with the knowledge of the inevitable. That's exactly what it is.
That's a burden. Yeah, it is a burden. These first three death predictions would soon prove themselves to be the easiest that I would have to encounter. I had eventually split from my ex and was living the single life. We were together since I was 14, and I was now 20 and lost. No sense of an identity, an introvert with one friend, and my time was mostly taken up by school and work.
I felt confused as to the next steps to take. Then a guy messaged me on Facebook. To protect his identity, since his name is incredibly unique, we'll call him Fred. Fred. Fred. It reminds me of, hey, it's Fred. Remember that guy? Yeah. Fred started chatting with me and flirting, but in a kind, genuine, and respectful way. I learned he was from India and he was here for school.
He was incredibly gifted with humor, intelligence, perseverance, and sheer willpower. He went to the same university as I did and we hit it off right away. However, just as friends as I was not ready for another relationship. We spent time together and I learned how fascinating of a human he was. He was in boarding school in India and was in a gang in his teen years.
He survived being stabbed and got out of that place in his life. His family also owned a tiger. A tiger. His name was Timothy. Like a whole ass tiger. A tiger named Timothy. Yeah. Holy shit. They rescued and rehabilitated him. How much cooler can he get? Not much. He was always very kind and I enjoyed the time we spent together. We were inseparable friends for a few months.
When he moved here, he turned his life around, got heavy into the gym, and then excelled even more at academics. He got a moker cycle.
He got a moker cycle?
He got a moker cycle.
I love those.
It's a little bit different than a moker cycle. You ever been on a moker cycle? You know? Thank you for a rattier laugh. It's crazy. He got a motor cycle and would venture around on it all the time. He was also an incredibly talented painter. He cracked jokes that would make me laugh so hard I cried.
He said all the strange Indian men that have probably messaged you before, and yet I had the charm to get your attention. However, his tale would end like the rest. One day, I was sitting in my room alone, thoughts to myself, when it came, the feeling, the dread.
no i screamed to whatever it was not him it horrified me i was so scared and helpless and that's when fred messaged me and told me he was going cliff jumping with his friend oh this will eat me alive forever but i said okay be safe i thought once again fate would change he was going with someone which meant that he would be safe i thought i was just in my head about this one he's 23 there's no way anything could happen to him you're indestructible when you're 23 right wrong
the next day i woke up and i realized i hadn't heard from him no text no call since 3 p.m the previous day i called no answer i texted i called again that's when i messaged the friends that he was with can you meet me she asked i agreed and she broke the news His death was classified as a drowning. She said he hit the water and started flailing.
She ran down to the bottom and tried to bring him in but he was panicking and was bringing her down into the water. She got back up on land and turned to grab him once more but there was no sign of him. He was gone.
My prediction is the force he picked up on his way down threw him deeper into the water than he had the breath for and he started inhaling before he reached the surface and never made it out.
That's brutal.
That's awful. I didn't sleep or eat for weeks, months even. I lost a concerning amount of weight. I could have stopped him, but I didn't believe my gut. I blamed his death on myself ever since.
No.
It's not your fault. And you don't want to mess with fate, you know? Yeah, and it's hard to believe that you know when these things are happening, so you're probably second-guessing it. Exactly. I would stay up at night crying and apologizing to him, someone with so much light, so much potential and purpose, gone.
That is until I went to a medium and she assured me that my gift was not just in my head. And even if I begged him not to go, he still would have went. That helped a little bit. Yeah. The last prediction was the strangest and most haunting of them all. Trigger warning for suicide here. I was at work. I'm a waitress and I work in a small chain restaurant just in Atlantic Canada.
The place was dead and I was wandering around searching for things to do when I got the feeling. But it wasn't just a feeling this time. It was a vision, too. I got this overwhelming, all-encompassing sense of sorrow, depression, and hopelessness. I was in a first-person perspective and went into my room, though, similar to how dreams work.
It wasn't actually my room in reality, but in this vision it was mine, and I locked the door. I then grabbed gasoline, poured it on myself, and lit myself on fire. Holy shit. But I wasn't anyone I knew, which was the strangest thing. I had thought it was weird and definitely concerning, but it wasn't anyone I was familiar with.
Each one of my previous womp feelings, I knew the person I was referring to. I shook it off. The next day, I was on social media and read something on the news. At the exact same time I had a vision, a young guy a few towns over went into his room, locked the door, poured gas on himself, and set himself on fire. He did not survive. I have chills all over my arm.
i was in shock i didn't know him and this was also completely different from my other experiences i felt so afraid for those i felt so afraid for so long these would keep happening but that was a few years ago and they seem to have stopped i'd like to think that they're gone forever but i refuse to let my guard down because that's when death will sneak up on me like a fox with an unsuspecting squirrel so until then death but i'll be waiting for you thank you ladies for reading my tale if you did and if this is on the podcast i will never shut up about it
I hope you ladies enjoy the rest of your day, week, month, life, year, etc. And I can't wait to continue to keep up with your journeys and see where life takes you. Thanks. Elena, I read your book and I absolutely adored it. Thank you. I took a hiatus from casual reading after life got incredibly busy. This is the best compliment. And your book brought me back to the bookworm I used to be.
Oh, that's literally my favorite compliment ever. So thank you for that. And I cannot wait for the second one. Hell yeah. Ash, that's me.
i'm anxiously waiting for the pictures of your drew's wedding day and i'm so happy you have such a beautiful human to love and to love you because you both deserve that and more drew is a beautiful thank you he's the most beautiful human i know he's so lovely it's ridiculous i don't know how i got we love a drew i love him so much i just want to punch him just with love right in the kisser until then keep it weird but maybe not this weird millie but here's a picture of my dog stanley because why not he's just like oh my god i'm obsessed with
I love him so much. He was doing like the Meg the Stallion. Yeah. Good job. I'm so proud of you. Look at me, I'm learning things. Oh my goodness, guys. Millie, that was a fucking harrowing tale. Haunting. Like harrowing. But you wrote it so well that it was, I just, it was fascinating. These were so good. They were so good. I have tacos. I have slaw. And chicken. And chicken. And chicken.
Chicken. This was amazing. This was so much fun. I feel like this is the most fun I've had on. Yeah, this was a lot of fun. Yeah, I think we're getting more comfortable being on camera. Definitely. I'm not going to do it that much more, but. No, we're going to keep it like this. Yeah. I said, don't get your hopes up. Don't get your hopes up. Don't. But we'll do lists on our tails. Yeah, for sure.
We'll do lists on our tails. We'll keep doing that. We'll do it.
um and until then we hope you keep listening and we hope you keep it weird but not so weird that you predict death definitely keep it like i mean keep it that weird it's kind of interesting uh definitely keep it so weird that you cut a hole in your wall and you had some creepy ass dolls in there oh yeah i have to open the rest because i don't have a memory due to 15 years of my life um
Oh, keep it so weird that as a ghost you shove peaches up people's noses. Don't keep it so weird that your dog gets possessed, but that wasn't your fault, obviously. Keep it so weird that you run a non-profit for dogs, though. That's fucking absolutely incredible. And I think I got all of them. Yeah, just keep it weird. Keep it the weirdest. So weird. Ba-da-boo!
you
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