There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to listeners or viewers. It is a dimension as vast as Mark's hyper-fixations, and lies between the surface of Wade's head and the summit of Bob's knowledge of phone cases. This is the dimension of distraction. It is an episode which we call... The Distractible Paradox. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: What is the Distractible Paradox about?
Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractible, this episode. Buoyant Bob, as paternal about his progeny's flatulence, claims animals have no animus, then throws down the gauntlet. Wipable Wade boosts the bangles, slanders streetcars, proposes universe-sucking wood, and beefs on brand. Gerrymandering Mark respects divine indifference, rizzes on rustles, and gets irate over infinity.
From kidnapping quarterbacks to thirsty asses. It's time for The Distractible Paradox. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.
Hello and welcome back for yet another episode of everyone's favorite podcast. That's right. Everyone's favorite podcast. This is distractible. I am your host, Bob, and I am joined today by my competitors, Mark and Wade. Don't say hi. I am the host because I won the last episode. Mark and Wade are competing to win this episode.
They win by making me write down points, and whoever gets the most points, or the least, we've never done that, but it could happen. Whoever gets the correct amount of points on my little thingy here, they're the winner. Or maybe not. Maybe I just say someone wins arbitrarily. Is this the golf episode? I'm not going to throw that out here. I'm doing high score this time.
I want the golf episode to be a surprise. May I have the correct amount of points? No, not yet. You might end up with the correct amount of points.
Is it like Price is Right where we got to get close enough without going over? I'll allow that. Does that require me to pick a number first? Probably. Well, I can pick. I think it just means I'm going to sabotage Wade by giving him all the points. This is quite a strategy. I'm going to try to stay at one the entire time. I like this. I like this. Okay. I accept.
Give him any points that I've earned so far.
last episode if i remember right for some reason only cost three points to win i wonder if bob will go higher or lower than three is three the fewest amount of points we've ever had actually win an episode that might be true i can't recall a two point or one point victory that might have happened someone might have had negative points we've had some pretty savage i don't know anyway look the rules are none of this shit matters the winner is the winner at the end because i say they're the winner but
there are rules and there is a constitution and we do get in a hot tub for some reason and there are boats and no one cares how are you guys doing today you got any small talk oh wade disappeared oh there he is i always have small talk of the fascinating variety constantly full of entertaining tidbits about how i am doing random bullshit i actually have nothing
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Chapter 2: How do the hosts compete in this episode?
I don't know. I'm trying to find the right thing. Where did this take place? I believe in Texas. Okay, a lot of weird magnets going on in Texas. We all know this, yes. I thought it was magnets. Maybe it's not magnets. Where would you have come up with magnets? I don't remember, man. I saw this like late at night and maybe I'm misremembering it. There's not the word magnet in any of these articles.
Yeah, literally not a single mention of magnets for any reason.
Hey, there was no magnets. It's a good thing I'm getting all of Mark's points today. Yeah, it's really saving you. I'm really playing a risky strategy today of all days to do this, but I think it's going to pay out. It's a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's see if it pays off for him.
Have I told you guys about the fart story with James? Where he farted in a movie theater in Oppenheimer and everyone laughed? I wish he did. He probably would think of that. He's very funny. No. So we have this place we drive frequently where there's rumble strips on the road, which is that thing where you're driving and you drive over it and it goes, we drive over there all the time.
And we were driving there with James in the back seat and we went over the rumble strips and out of nowhere. And he's never said it before, at least to me, really out of nowhere. He just goes, huh? Farts. Cause the rumble strip sounds like fuckers. Anyway, he's hilarious. He's going to be the funniest kid I know. Well, not as funny as me, but like he'll be second.
You're not a kid, so you're kind of in a different class.
All right.
You're not the funniest adult I know either, but don't be offended. I know a lot of adults. You could say that. It's just not true. James is hilarious. Also, he calls the movie Sing Dance Animals, and that's his current favorite movie.
Pretty accurate. Is he like getting old enough now where he's branching out of a lot of like the baby-esque shows like the Blueys and stuff or...
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