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Distractible

Peekaboo!

Mon, 26 May 2025

Description

Chef Wade is back in the kitchen serving up some more hot and steamy euphemisms, with a side of red onions and corn off the cob. DOOM: The Dark Ages: Stand and Fight. Available now at: beth.games/3WDZI4V Visit Amazon.com/prime to get more out of whatever you’re into. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Audio
Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the episode about?

32.062 - 60.296 Bob

Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractible. This episode, One-Eyed Wade loses his beamer, goes blue with envy, tosses terribly, and flosses with the Ferrers. Basement Bob's baby flops and flushes hard. He then sends seed skyward and goes west side. Manacled Mark has ad guilt, gets wet with Houdini, refunds a handy, and starts a sing-along.

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60.896 - 77.168 Bob

From witness protection to snatch synonyms. Yes! It's time for Peek-A-Boo. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

0

78.015 - 94.359 Mark

Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Distractable. I am today's host, Wade, because I finally won again. I say the word finally because I don't remember the last time I won. It could have been two in a row. I might have hosted and given myself the win. Can't remember, but I feel like it's been a while. Therefore, good job me.

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94.895 - 103.979 Wade

I don't know why, but I thought you were doing a bit. I thought you said that the way Colin Mochrie says his news reporter names. You were like, I'm your host, Wade, because I won again.

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104.559 - 111.441 Mark

I'm Wade a second, and I'll tell ya. Wade, that's the wrong hole. Lars, Lars, pants on Fars. I think that was one of them, right?

111.742 - 118.764 Wade

Anyway, sorry. My mind just exploded because I thought you did it, and I was like, I don't understand. You're good. I was about to give you permission to talk anyway, so it's fine that you did.

119.164 - 122.846 Bob

Hi. What's Bob? Hi. Do I have permission to talk?

124.249 - 138.294 Mark

Well, this is a show where one of us hosts, the other two compete for points. Whoever has the most gets to host the next episode. Hence why I'm here right now. And these two will be competing today. But as always, we usually start by catching up. And we actually haven't gotten to talk, the three of us, in a while. So, how's life? What's new?

138.654 - 141.275 Mark

Mark, you're once again hiding in witness protection somewhere, it looks like.

Chapter 2: What happened to Wade's car?

882.803 - 909.699 Mark

Put me in Guam. I don't know where it is. I have one more. Well, I've got two more things. I might save one of them. I got one more thing at least I want to mention right now. Mark. I've been hyping up a game for a while here, and you finally played it. Blueprints. I watched you play it, and I gotta say two things. One, I'm impressed. Two, God, I hate you.

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910.039 - 911.96 Wade

I feel that. Tell you what.

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912.32 - 923.185 Mark

So Blueprints is a puzzle game, right? You figure out different ways to unlock information to move, and there's different clues that lead you down different rabbit holes and things. Mark came across the first puzzle

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924.145 - 945.501 Bob

and instead of looking for a solution how long did you spend in photoshop trying to figure out spoiler alert swan song look man i don't know because the thing is i had it right in front of me it was so clear because what it was like i didn't know what this was but i knew the last one was sung right so it was like this

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946.201 - 972.483 Bob

and not no one listening it's like it was an s i knew it started with an s and i knew song was at the end and that was like three lines here i'm like no letter has three up lines literally w anyway so yeah no i uh i feel i feel dumb there was so much more cut out of that than you saw i spent a good hour and a half trying

973.664 - 983.471 Mark

Let me tell you, spoilers incoming. There's literally an item you find in the game that when you look at that note, it reveals the password. You don't have to do that.

983.751 - 989.756 Bob

It seemed like I should be able to solve it. And, you know, the answer was more obvious than I look, man.

990.316 - 1009.618 Mark

look i just i was like he's never gonna make another episode because if this is how he tackles puzzles in the game he's like something i can't quite see what if i get the hubble telescope can i rent that for a week and i just hold that aim it at my monitor i can read this microscopic text hey look man i got it i don't know what you're complaining about i solved the puzzle

1011.44 - 1023.251 Mark

I was reading some of the comments, and everyone's like, wow, Mark's dedication to figuring that out. And I was like, if he'd played the game for 10 more minutes, rather than the 40 minutes he took in Photoshop, he might have just found the item that shows that.

Chapter 3: What medical anomaly did Wade experience?

1492.096 - 1502.047 Wade

what are you why are you doing it like that you do why do you throw it you throw it you need to you need to rely more on your you're like throwing it off your hand it's all thumb

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1507.807 - 1515.81 Mark

That was a very sharp pencil. You're right, Mark. You've convinced me. You have convinced me that that's the proper way.

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1516.19 - 1520.112 Wade

It's just, it was an example. Obviously, that wasn't a coin, so.

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1520.432 - 1524.474 Mark

It is tails. Which means, Mark, you go first here, which won't really matter.

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1524.614 - 1531.317 Wade

You could have just held that up and decided it was tails. I was not watching. Well, that's not my fault. That's your fault, because I did do it. Damn you.

1532.037 - 1532.277 Mark

Sorry.

1532.828 - 1537.192 Bob

No wonder it looked weird. Studio light was on. Sorry, what's going on? Hey, what's up, pal?

1537.212 - 1538.473 Mark

I'm just watching you flicker.

1539.374 - 1542.256 Bob

Watch this! Whoa!

Chapter 4: What are happy returns?

1838.727 - 1844.749 Bob

It means some worries for the rest of your days. It means anxiety.

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1846.318 - 1874.048 Bob

sobriety I don't know it's different every time who cares Mark what does it mean to be off the cob we know we did this one wait this is familiar on the cob I do feel like we did something similar but this isn't a 20 easy question situation again where we're getting the exact same words no promises oh boy all right so on the cob off the cob Which one is it, man?

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1874.428 - 1875.85 Mark

The one I've said every time.

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1875.93 - 1881.176 Wade

Wade has said the same one every time. Can we just decide which one is on or off the cob?

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1881.196 - 1882.378 Guest

Are you two okay?

1883.9 - 1888.165 Wade

Is it on the cob or on the cob? Which one is it, Wade? You keep saying different things.

1888.185 - 1895.931 Mark

O-F-F, off the cob. All right, off the cob. Good job. I should give you a point just for repeating what I said.

1896.231 - 1903.352 Wade

No, Mark. Yeah, you said it. You're saying it wrong, so it must be on the cob. It must be on the cob? If I was wrong before? Because you said off the cob.

1903.592 - 1904.652 Bob

Okay, so it's on the cob.

Chapter 5: What is lean away?

1931.203 - 1933.284 Wade

All right, I'm gonna play for points this time.

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1933.504 - 1936.225 Mark

Somehow both of you are Sean Connery today, and I don't know how.

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1936.625 - 1962.013 Wade

I'll be Connery, you be Sean. I'm playing for points. Off the cob, it's actually a saying. Comes out of Nebraska. Very regionally specific saying. There's a lot of corn in Nebraska. Their college mascot is the Corn Huskers. That's how corn-focused they are. And so it's just slang in Nebraska for if you've been eating too much corn lately and you're trying to cut back.

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1962.373 - 1974.078 Wade

And when someone offers you, as they do every day everywhere in Nebraska, a corn on the cob, you say, no, no, I'm on the cob. Off the cob. That was not on purpose.

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1974.458 - 1974.638 Unknown

Fine.

1975.402 - 1983.151 Guest

No. I was writing down the point for you, Bob.

1983.431 - 1986.532 Bob

I was like, you know, he participated.

1986.873 - 1992.295 Guest

Are you sure it wasn't on the cob, Wade? Are you sure? Are you sure it wasn't?

1992.916 - 1999.819 Wade

I don't know anymore. I can't tell anymore, man. We did the bit too much. I don't know which one's the one.

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