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Chapter 1: What are the highlights of today's show?
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Guten Abend, verehrter Hörer, und willkommen zu Destructible. Dieses Episode. Wayne Scott in Wade hat Rubbing, pluggt Iron Lung und rollt Crits für sein RPG. Mailable Mark geht hart für große Drehs, kippt den Kuiper und bringt sein Galadriel mit Penthouse-Piggies. Banorstick Bob spielt Ace Ventura, schluckt Monden, endet die Erde und weaponisiert Diarrhoea.
Von Clown-Karten bis zu der Tötung einer Farmersfamilie... Yes, it's time for Nah, I'd Will, Part 2. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.
Hey, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Distractible. I'm today's host, Wade. Joined as always by my friends and co-hosts, Mark and Bob. Hey, boys.
Hello, fucking Ubuntu. To our listeners, Bob saluted. That was just for the watchers. I was not acknowledging the listeners. Don't talk to them.
Alright. Anyway, welcome to the show where one person hosts, the other two compete for points. Whoever has the most points at the end gets to host the next episode. The games vary, the points are always consistent. I forgot to get my pad and paper to write them down, but I've got it now. So thankfully no points would have been awarded at this point anyway. But how are you guys doing?
Pretty good, pretty good. I'm typing in bullshit is how it's going. You think this episode is bullshit? I haven't even started yet. I'm typing bullshit. Can't you copy and paste bullshit? Oh, waiting for cash lock. Could not get lock slash var slash lib slash donkey package slash lock front end. It is held by process 8569.
Ich bin froh, dass du dich so viel genießt, Kumpel. Ich wirklich.
You can wait to see if anyone thought that was funny. You knew it was funny. I find me hilarious. Did I tell you guys about the loaner car that I had recently? I don't think I did. It's not that funny of a story, but as a large person, this happens to me a lot. I don't fit in things, but I can find a way to work around it.
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Chapter 2: What is the premise of Nah, I'd Win?
I auditioned for the movie.
Think if we could get in? Blah, blah.
It's like a Christopher Nolan Dracula. We're going for dark and gritty. Dracula's been through a lot.
And whenever you're ready. I'm Dracula. Blah, blah. Jared Leto as Dracula. Sorry, Jared. I know you're a big watcher. Not bad.
He's sitting by the phone waiting for that call back, decides to turn on our podcast just to kill the time.
I hope they get my audition tape. Anyway, good small talk.
I bet you won't have a ton of people in the subreddit telling you how good Linux is now that you've brought that up, Mark. I bet that won't happen at all. I'm sure it won't happen.
I saw a new picture of the moon. There's some good moon there.
Speaking of the moon, it's so funny because I made it, you know, I got testy with my own subreddit because they deserved it. And so I made a joke, I made that one comment, then I made another comment that was kind of forgotten next to it. People were actually like, why do you keep promoting it? I'm like, I will become your A. James McCarthy. I will show you my moon.
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Chapter 3: What hilarious car rental story does Wade share?
Also habe ich die Polarität meiner magnetischen Felder umgekehrt, um die Monden zu drücken und ihre Masse zu erzeugen, richtig? I angle, I angle the direction that I am bringing those moons in to eject myself from the orbit. And I'm not going in, I'm going out to the Cooper Belt to gain even more Agario-style Katamari Damacy.
I'm going to revolve around, slingshotting through the Cooper Belt, getting everything I can. Hopefully re-entering back in to steal the orbit of one of those other planets. I'm not sure which yet. But I know that if I dethrone one of them, I can be that planet. Oddly enough, that's literally exactly what I was thinking. Nice, nice. We're on the same wavelength here. I love this.
Koops to Roxton coming back in. That is a 13. Damn.
That's surprisingly good. You needed a 19? Bob, back to you. You now need an 18. I'm small, but I have moons. A very planetary feature. I reverse the polarity of my magnetic field and start sucking my moons in.
I angle the suckage of the moons in so that they actually eject me from my current orbit and throw me into an extremely eccentric orbit that will take me out to the... Also, I don't know who's right. I've always said Kuiperbelt? Is it Cooper Belt? It's probably. But I said Cooper. I don't know. That will take me out to the Cooper Belt. A lot of guys have belts. Could be any of them.
Where I will Agario-Style, Katamari, Dimash-Style, accumulate more mass. Before my highly eccentric orbit comes me, flings me, flailing back into the solar system as a big, big boy. I have goals. And primary goal of my goals, top most of them, is to take the place of the most overrated planet in the solar system. The one that everyone's talking about all the time, no matter what.
I am gonna knock... earth down a peg slash into the sun and take its place knocking earth into the sun to take its place so close bob you needed an 18 you got a 17 oh so almost there almost there so do i successfully knock the earth into the sun and that doesn't work or do i not successfully accomplish that i'll tell how that story unfolds yeah listen i'm just the dice roller
Ist das so, wie das normalerweise funktioniert? Ich rühre die Steine und du sagst mir, was passiert. Dungeons & Dragons, nicht Dungeons & Storytime, komm schon.
Ich meine, es ist passiert, weil ich denke, Mark muss es sagen, also passiert es.
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