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Chapter 1: What is this episode of Distractible about?
Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractible, this episode. Bronzed Bob becomes Rorschach and Batman, butchers Le Francais and attempts to improve annoying abbreviations. Wasteful Wade gets blown off by support, collects frozen feces, sniffs of fists, and advises dicking. Maneuverable Mark clears colossal poops, evokes empathy, and gets crusty.
with blood-sucking boners, from shit-talking to telekinetic porn. Yes! It's time for Acronyms But Better. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.
Chapter 2: Who are the hosts and how does the podcast format work?
Hello and welcome back to Distractable, the result of a science experiment gone horribly right. My name is Bob and I will be your host for today because I won the last episode because the way that this works is I host, two other people compete, you'll meet them in a second. Whoever wins hosts the next one and I don't host the next one, I compete in the next one.
But don't worry because I'll probably win it and then I'll host the one after that because I win a lot because I'm really funny and really good at this. Anyway, my competitors for today, as per usual, will be Mark and Wade. Hello. Hey. I know we've done this hundreds of times at this point.
I still say it has never not felt weird to me to introduce you guys as if anyone who's a part of this doesn't already know who you are from other stuff. But there have been.
There have been documented cases of people that don't know any of us from our content who has found this podcast through other means of podcast platforms and has found this to be an enjoyable experience despite not knowing who we are. And man, oh man, am I tired of making those accounts.
That's what I was going to say. That feels like a Wade move. It feels exactly like Wade's approach to everything. I know on the subreddit, it's always you. Every week, there's new posts from new accounts. I love Wade. He's the funniest one. I preesh. I big preesh. Even if those accounts are me, I appreciate them. He doesn't understand that I'm mocking him. You forget that it's you.
I have such a bad memory that even if it was me, I wouldn't remember. It's like 50 first dates for me on the subreddit. 50 first dates with myself. Oh, what a beautiful story. Self-love's important. Why is Adam Sandler here? I don't know. Anyway, what's the other thing we do? Mall talk? I got some.
It's serendipitous that this occurred right at the launch of a new generation of cards, but my computer suddenly started working properly again. After I had bought the hardware for a brand new computer build that I was going to replace it with.
Wait. I don't know what I did with my hand, but wait. Do you know Mr. Card? Because I need one of these 5090s and I don't know how to get one. I've never bought a card new. No, you don't need one. Do you have a 4090? I do, but my monitors, man. The monitor issue, I think, is because literally even the 4090 was not meant to handle these monitors. Yes, it was.
it only does once every three weeks with the lunar cycle i get my three monitors working i gotta tell you all you gotta do is be patient and threaten it by getting a new computer and being like i'm gonna replace you and then your old computer will start working again because that's what happened to me i will rip you apart piece by piece and beat you with a hammer well no it's not about no that's not it yeah that's
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Chapter 3: Why is Bob frustrated with his computer setup?
Well, these are just 4K, but man, oh man, do they only get supported once every three years? Have you tried putting a different card in it? I feel like I'm not an expert in this, but it feels like your card is broken or not working properly. That's what I just suggested. A new card. No, I don't think you need one. I thought mine were broken, but it's not.
What other cards do you have in your computer? Oh, I've got a Charizard and a 49. What else? Is there a capture card in one of the PCI slots? He doesn't even know what PCI means. I have three hard drives. Uh-huh. I don't have an Elgato plugged in. I don't have anything else plugged into it.
Okay, so you don't have anything else in there. Okay, yeah. So there's no PCI-based internal capture card or anything else, right? Mm-mm. Okay, well, then that may not be an issue.
What you need to do is buy yourself some cards and stick them in there and then start making threats, and they'll all start talking. That's what Mark's getting at. It's possible. I mean, I might have some in boxes. I don't know what's in here. You definitely do.
But I got to tell you, one of the things that I think people are going to realize this generation of graphics cards is the same thing that has been happening every other generation, which is incremental improvements, except the 4090 was an exception to the rule. The 3090 to the 4090 was actually a nearly... double jump in performance. And that is unprecedented going from generation to generation.
It just so happens with the actual node, the transistor node that they used, and they went over to TSMC, I think from Samsung, I believe. But it was such a massive improvement. People are expecting the 59 to be another quantum leap. It's not. It's
like 25 better in some really good cases 15 in others and at way higher power consumption if your worry is like power consumption it's i don't think it's going to be good for you and i think that the 4090 is going to be one of those graphics cards that for a long time down the road people are going to be like yeah actually this is a longevity card this is a real doozer of a card i'm like i'm just cautioning you i don't think the 5090 will be perfect for you
I don't know. I've got to do a deep dive on these monitors and figure out why that only two work at a time usually. Right now, all three. They've been doing this for months. Have you not deep dove? I thought I had. How much have you divvied? Pretty deep to the point where I contacted LG and I was like on customer support.
They went to the point where they were like, huh, I would talk to whoever makes your graphics card. I tried reaching out and then they did not respond to me on customer support. Kind of hit a wall there. Well, I can't help you. I'm going to say it. You could probably just buy three other monitors and save yourself some money on trying to buy a 5090.
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Chapter 4: How can you fix the issue with multiple monitors?
Well, the last ones I had from like 2015 till last year, so I was like, well, these are going to last me like 10 years. Might as well. There's no picture in the universe that could look enough different on a high quality $3,000 monitor that I would ever think that that was worth it. These were $1,300 each. Oh, that's less horrifying, but still, that's more than I spend on a TV. Same.
I can't imagine your life. I don't know what I'm doing, man. I fly by by the seat of my pants and it usually works out, except for these monitors. I don't know what the MSRP is on 5090s, but if you have to buy one from a scalper, isn't it probably more than that still? Well, they're technically not out yet. Theoretically, I know they're not out yet. I wouldn't buy one from a scalper.
I don't like to support that. I would rather just wait for one to come available. Yeah, well, if you're just gonna wait till they're available, you won't have it for like a year and a half. Well, that's why I thought maybe Mr. Graphics Card would be like, oh, sure, wait, here, you buy it, I give it. Is Mr. Graphics Card in the room with us? Mr. Graphics Card is my dad. I don't know.
I thought maybe you knew him because you talked about getting a new built computer. You were talking about getting a new something. This all started with you. Yeah, I bought it on the normal online stores that people buy them from. Or I had them from my render farm. I actually pulled some of them out of a computer that I hadn't fully built yet. Does it have a 5090? No, it doesn't have a 50-90.
I just told you I'm not going to get the 50-90 because it doesn't seem like a worthwhile investment to improve it. I think the 40-90 is going to last a very long time. Can I have it? Some of this feels like the meme of the congressional hearing where they're talking to the CEO of TikTok. It does, yeah. It's a lot of... Can you improve the internet in my constituents, Mark?
If I have TikTok on my router, does that mean China's in my internet?
Yeah, wait, I hate to say it, but yeah, you're that guy.
I am stupid, which is why I turned to YouTube for help with technology. And Mark is offering you assistance with technology. Assistance was I don't need a 5090, but... These monitors say otherwise. I don't think Mark said but at all. I think he was very definitive in his.
Anyway, I'm sure that as soon as you decide you're not going to build that computer, nothing horrible will happen to your current one and it will be fine. But Bob's is already about to retaliate for Mark building a new one. Probably. Probably. Yeah. I do think my computers are on their last... Or not one.
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Chapter 5: How does Mark suggest buying computer hardware?
And I went outside, and I was like, alright, time to clean up some of these poo piles. I filled up two of those, like, I call them Kroger bags, I don't know, the plastic bags that are banned in California, I guess, of poop. From two small dogs. I just want to make sure you remember what bags I'm talking about, Mark. It's been so long since you've seen real bags.
It's the boomeriest thing you've ever said. Go on.
You know, those little, like... What are your thoughts on immigrants? Let me just do a quick taste test real quick.
I don't think we've had those since the 80s. Are those those things that eat pets? Okay. That's what we know him as in Ohio, I think. The oil's low. I'm checking the dipstick here. We've got to stop licking the paint on the walls. I know it's a new house, but I'm sensing a problem. No, but I filled up two of those bags of little dog poop. It was a lot of poop and it sucked.
And I guess you use muscles when you pick up poop that you don't use otherwise. Because I've got my right thigh is on fire today. How heavy is this poop? I mean, I guess if you don't bend over and touch the ground a lot, it's kind of a unique set of muscles, but... That's something I don't do on a daily basis. I don't think to like crouch, grab, crouch, grab, crouch, grab.
You could just stay on your hands and knees and keep picking up, you know.
Dude, give me one more day of that and I could crab walk like a porn star. I don't know why you assume they would be good at that, but. I don't know. It's just one of those jokes you always hear. Is it? Is it? I feel like I've never heard a human being utter those words in my life until right now. This is another side tangent.
There's an SNL skit that's also been living rent-free in my head where Ariana Grande and some of the cast members were playing as Jennifer Coolidge. And they're like, if you could have one superpower, what would it be? And Ariana's Coolidge was like, crab lock. So I've had that stuck in my head for a while. Minor shout out to that skit, I guess. Hey, Jennifer Coolidge, if you're watching...
Anyway, there's your poop update. Back to you in the studio. Mark, would you like to enhance my poop?
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Chapter 6: Why do some acronyms need fixing?
Ah, Wade, you missed out, man. I did. I only saw the one where you had a sex toy delivery. That was the first one. This is not going to turn into reminiscing about Redacted. I have one for FYI. Okay, yes, continue. I'll save this. Dicked. Didn't you know, dummy? D-Y-K-D. I like that.
I like that. Thank you for your time. A. M. M. No, A-T-M-B-B. H-E-M-B-B. According to my big brain.
don't wait T I'm sorry what was it Mark I'd forgotten ATM BB according to my big brain GWS guess what stupid that's actually pretty good guess what stupid I like that that is in the same vein as FYI but somehow it's more jovially dickish like it's still a dick move but like someone pulled that on you you could not laugh at it I feel like basically every single idea you guys just threw out there superior to FYI
I think we should abandon FYI. I think that should be a vestige of the past. And I think we should move on to A, T, M, B, B. Thank you. Thank you. Or other one that was also slow. This is one that I think we all use a lot. And I don't like this acronym because I don't think anyone knows what the fuck this stands for. But you'll know what it means when I say it to you. RSVP. What is that?
What does that mean? Oh, God, what does it mean? Not what words is it, but you know what it means, right? If you're going to RSVP for something. But what words is it? I'll tell you. It ain't English. Reserve seats, Vice Presidents. If that was it, it'd be very confusing. Now, you know why it stinks? Because it's French. It stands for, and I'm going to say this wrong, Respondez Sivu Play.
Please respond. I don't honestly know if we can improve on RSVP because in the way that it's used, I think it's pretty effective. And it's aesthetic. It looks nice. It's a good combo. I just don't like that people use it and they don't even know what the words are. That feels like a lie to me.
The V is the crux of it that makes it a little more difficult. What about SMFS? Save my fucking seat. Oh, I was building acronyms for RSVP. That's not what we're doing. In my head. I was like, why is the V so difficult, Mark? You don't have to use it.
I was like, really sucking vampire dick.
And that made me laugh in my head. But that's not the game we're playing. Dick with a P? You mean penis.
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Chapter 7: What is the story behind the acronym SMH?
It's English as spoken by a six year old. I a very important person.
This is hard. I made fun of Mark and then I immediately got made fun of myself. That's how it goes, man. That's how it goes.
I have VIP. This next one will be easy. FOMO. We all know about FOMO. You might have FOMO from time to time. Sometimes. Jump on things. It sounds stupid. Never ever would I willingly describe myself as having FOMO. I hate it. Can we improve on FOMO? Fear of missing out. Yeah, it's called TME. Tell me everything!
You're in an interrogation. TME! TME! Batman holding a cup. TME! Where are the other drugs going? TME! W-A-O-D-G. Where are the other drugs? Yes, where are the... W-A-O-D-G. T-M-E. He just spends a lot of time practicing like that. Trapped in here with them. They're T-I-H-W-M.
I want acronym Batman he's also known as ABM yeah I literally just thought I was like I missed the boat on that I wonder if they'll catch then you did but Batman actually is an acronym I'm not gonna do it though we all know what it is anyway FOMO fix FOMO
laughter laughter
Right?
Yeah, see?
Yeah, no, that's really good, though. Because then if there's a group, they're like, oh, yeah, we're going to see Barbenheimer. They're showing it again in combination, just even though that's not cool anymore. Like, guys, you know I'm busy. That place. Also, I like the way those letters look written out. I just wrote it down because I gave you a point for it. I just wrote, I wrote on my desk.
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