Sihame El Kaouakibi
Appearances
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
with all these different kind of women, it's so important because there they can really share experiences, gain insights, support each other. It helps combat isolation and it really brings a sense of belonging that mostly something they miss in even very in their inner circle with friends or maybe at home even. So that's why it's great to have that kind of sense of belonging and find it somewhere.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
But it's not linked to a country or something because also for me, I was born here, but I'm
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
moroccan but in morocco i'm belgian so in the world i'm just see him moroccan belgian woman that today has women leaders os and is an impact consultant and i thrive in actually these situations where we have challenges and people want impacts and we can just work together collaborate and inspire common goals and do things together that's that's i think not
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
Country or geography, but really like just the environment, like you said, it's more hybrids. And I love that. I love that.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
Actually, what I deal with is life challenges. Like I have hit rock bottom and I had to uncover something. my values, my beliefs. I had to accept the situation I was in, that I couldn't go back. So it's really about life.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
It can be medical, it can be health, it can be divorce, it can be grief, it can be indeed problems with your child, it can be problems just with yourself, just lack of self-belief, lack of confidence because all this cross-cultural context did to you and how you cope with it. And maybe it's coping mechanism in the wrong way, maybe it's burning you out, etc.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
So for me, the great thing is that we all face life challenges and that... I just love and I'm good at reframing these challenges to possibilities to pivot, to grow and to lead you to fulfillment and success in life and career without burnout. Learn how, for example, to set boundaries, not seeing it as of your people pleaser, not seeing it as something selfish or mean.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
And the cultural context, the cross-cultural context is a surplus. The fact that We also, all these different layers, experience all these different layers. That's why I can be a better match for someone or the person I can coach, high-performing woman, can be a better match for me. We just, we can relate.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
Like the persona I work with or I love to work with are these women are amazing already. They don't need someone to grow or help nurture some kind of talent or something because they are talented and they already achieve so many things. But sometimes you go through moments of self-doubt, fear of failure. even success and still lack motivation. Okay.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
And when you're high performing in a golden cage, you just want to stick to your comfort zone. And it's these women that I love to work with, help them recognize this challenge as a first step to overcome and overcome these challenges and moving forward with this, getting back this confidence and self belief and determination and letting them know that like these challenges
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
They are totally concurrable, okay? Maybe you don't see it for the moment because you were always high-performing, successful, and something happened to you, and you're now confused and overwhelmed. It's about gaining that clarity and direction again, about repurposing. And I think with some tools, solid guidance, a great support system, with Human Leaders OS...
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
I can really help women to navigate from the place where they are to who they are becoming. So you need to learn or you need to try to avoid burnout. You need to learn how to release stress. You need to learn how to relieve pressure. You need to learn how to relieve guilt. When not working, for example, okay, start enjoying these little playful moments in life.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
And then when we have this, when we have this personal part of life and relationships, et cetera, I love to work with this woman to, of course, a successful career and can be a new job, a new title. Mostly I love to work with founders because I'm an entrepreneur myself and I know what it is to take a project from zero to a hundred. And so I just love to work.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
So I have this woman, I cannot say for what institutions she works in New York because it's one of the most known institutions. She's a high level director there and she wants to pivot. She's tired of the environment. She actually moved from the other part of the world to New York to have this position. And then after a year, she says, this is not my environment. I cannot drive here.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
This is too much bureaucracy. And I'm more entrepreneur. I was always a VC, et cetera. And now she contacted me and she asked, okay, can you help navigate actually the closure of this chapter so I can, I don't burn up bridges. I can, no, just... lived in a friendly manner and I don't know how to communicate. My culture is different. So can you help me there?
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
Because with my private political experience, I can. That's one thing. And on the other hand, I have time. I have some savings. I can take six months to build my new business, but I don't know what it will be. Can you help me? I love to do that.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
I love to help someone who is confused or who is like a little bit new direction, help them in the present situation and start crafting their future together. That's for me, that's those are... Great journeys because I also learn a lot and we do it together. And it's really, yeah, it's really personal.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
And it's so, I'm so grateful that these people jump on a call with me and can relate with me and just trust me to, yeah, to go on this journey with them. Because it's quite important, right? The next 10, 15 years of your life is always important. The next runway.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
When you're feeling lost, mostly lost something, okay? And the moment you lose almost everything, everything you cared about, You have to believe that you will overcome this loss. We all did. And if you're back in shape, you just realize that nothing in life can happen that you cannot overcome. And maybe even you actually don't overcome it, you work through it and live differently.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
And to believe this, you need really to trust the process. And it's something, it's making me sound vague, but it's something you have to believe in. You cannot change the situation you're in if you don't believe. And the path you're on will change. Roll out how it will roll out. It will manifest. That's how it is.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
And another part is there's so much about glamorous success, but there is always another side. Okay. Everything you see when you're feeling lost and confused and you envy all these other people, just know that there's always another side.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
own of growth okay so there are extraordinary people that you envy when you but they are also in deep pain even if they are millionaires or have social status and they are going through depths of darkness so don't mirror yourself with these people when you are lost because i did i envied so many people i was focused on the other instead of focusing on myself okay you lose time you leave energy you leave you lose self-belief confidence everything you need to start your transformation and
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
The other part is just success is moving through the peaks and the lows, equally embracing what is drawn at us. That's success. The rest is noise. If somebody says to you, this is success, look at me, don't believe it. Success is failure, stumbling, maybe bankruptcy, scandals, trials, whatever it is. Just know that the real success and wealth is inside you.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
And when you find that source, you become resourceful to wrap it up I always say to the community of women I work with, you will always be in. You are going to make mistakes. You are not perfect, okay? The learning is in the doing. So embrace the change, lean into the resistance you feel, but also be grateful. Every day, these three things. that you're grateful for.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
Focus on the abundance that you're surrounded with, whether it's love or the little things. Instead of focusing on the lack of something, the voids, okay? Your future will pan out just as it's supposed to be and let your values guide you. I think that's, for me, the most important thing. And if you're really...
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
want to have something very tangible what helped me a lot and helps a lot of people i'm surrounded with is creates a structured daily routine okay do these daily walks in nature they're brain juice start journaling practice gratitude it really helps stay positive pursue something like a further education it can be a course there's so many free courses online do something that sharpens that keeps you sharp that sharpens your knowledge for example you don't feel your
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
not able to learn no you keep on learning engage in sports so important and and if you're really in a dark period of course you need therapy of course you need to understand and manage your mental health through professional help but all these little things it's compounding it's compounding to change it's compounding your transformation and it's i can assure you it works it didn't only work for me it works for all these amazing women i work with for sure
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
Yeah, exactly. Oh, pleasure. It was really nice. It was really, it was lovely to do this. It was one of my first podcasts was in English. So sorry for my maybe some mistakes, but I love doing this and to share some, I think just real stories. Like I said, I think it should be part of impact to contribute to people's stories and people's journey. So it's always a pleasure to contribute in this way.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
Yeah.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
Beautiful. Yeah, I can relate. I can relate. The environment is everything. If you feel you're surviving instead of thriving, you need to quit. You need to leave. Because a lot of women that I guide now, some of them really start, they're really these beautiful, amazing women, high positions.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
And they're still sometimes like in this environment with these political games, toxic leadership, and they stay. I'm like, okay, what's the plan? And the strange thing is that they cling, they're just holding this situation, holding...
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
it's holding them back they're just stuck and sometimes it's better to accept the rejection than feeling stuck i think so if the environment the toxic environment feels like a rejection maybe it's better rejection can be redirection and it's sometimes better to just leave and i think the most liberating decision can be to move on
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
And like you said, you need to find your tribe, you need to find your environment so you can try. But it's confronting, right? Being rejected. Why is someone toxic? It's like, for example, for women. Of course, more and more women go into leadership positions. They're needed, okay? And feminine leadership is actually based on empathy, emotional intelligence, also inclusivity. And...
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
I know that, and I was one of them, that it's no longer true that women need to mimic masculine or male leaders. No. I think we should embrace our strengths, lead with our authentic selves. And I think we can relate. I don't know if you experienced it, but I've experienced so many times being irritated or too emotional after just being me in stating my points in a meeting with a lot of fashion.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
But it does affect you as a woman, as a person, as a human. You lose your genuine, vulnerable self because of it. And so I think when the moment you have to choose and you have to be someone that you're not, yeah, you deserve authenticity. And that's so important in a leading position that you actually not only leading position for everyone to be able to lean into your authenticity.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
And that's not possible in a toxic work environment.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
Yeah, Women Leaders, Help Forming Women. The reason I created Women Leaders OS was exactly what I needed at many points in my life. Like I already shared, going from doing very well to hitting rock bottom, it just leads you to a healing journey that guides you back to your true self. And you just realize that the path I realized that the path I was on was nothing like what I used to love.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
It was actually far from what I believed in. And I just care too much about achieving things and what others thought of me and leading you as a high-performing woman juggling multiple responsibilities. Well, you do feel overwhelmed and you start questioning your path. When I was doing this, I started several programs, investing my time in studies, etc. Therapy, coaching.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
And I realized I was alone, of course. Many women were experiencing the same struggles. And it took me three years and a lot of financial investment to get where I am now. And my belief is that it shouldn't take others three years. And it should be financially accessible. And that's why...
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
Besides my real consulting, like what's more my income, being an impact consulting on SEGs, supporting founders to scale sustainably, et cetera, I have this mission to do something with this recent button that the curveball life threw at me. And it is like my mission, I always love to say my mission is to help 1 million women turning life challenges into life changes for the better.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
These women want to break through in their careers, but they want to do it without the burnout. They want to have more fulfillment in life. And it's possible. The world of women is my world. And I needed to heal, to see, and to deal with life's challenges. And I believe that other women can do the same. I also believe that...
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
There is a lot of strength and that what these times need, what the world needs for the moment is more women, okay? But women still lack internal beliefs and also support systems. So it starts really with women deciding that they are worthy and willing to change. And the women who are ready for change, I really want to support these women through my community, through my program.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
So this is a 90-day coaching program, one-on-one, not just about career advancement, but like I said, about redefining success, reframing their challenges, and helping them doing it because helping them, redefining for them what it means to be at our best again. What are your coping mechanisms? How can we change them?
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
And just aligning professional aspirations with this personal fulfillment is so important. And these are beautiful journeys. But what I love most is actually the community. It's not the program itself one-on-one. It's building a community of all these amazing women that just are supportive for each other.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
That they can learn, grow, ground, pivot, redefine, achieve, whatever in life and career together. And just knowing that there is like this community with a sense of belonging that even in this high-performing world where outside world thinks everything's fine and you're perfect, you're successful. What are your challenges?
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
These people also have lives, they have relationships, a family, and we all know we all have issues.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
We all have, whether it's with health, whether it's with family, whether you want to repurpose and redirect and you don't know how, because you were always on this high-speed train, never slowing down, never seeing your true self, actually, uncovering parts of yourself as a woman in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, doesn't matter. It's all different phases of life.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
And taking time to slow down and having people that can relate is so important. And so why I call it an operator-heating system is because it's my aspiration, and I'm building it, actually, that I can... Actually, I'm digitizing all the tools I use from life rule assessments, decision matrix, the Ikigai, of course, career path roadmaps, all these things, blueprints, happy trackers.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
I'm digitizing this so it can become real tangible tools A toolkit actually that women can use whenever they want, wherever they want, and still can lean into the support of a community. So in that way, it can be financially accessible, low ticket. And those who still want one-on-one coaching, just they can jump on a call with me and then we can see if there is a match. That's what I do today.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
But actually, I love these free clarity calls I do every day. I have three spots every day limited for women who really need some clarity, feeling overwhelmed. And sometimes 15, 30 minutes is enough. And others need more. Okay, I'm there. Some just need a community. Some need one-on-one coaching. It's not a one-size-fits-all, but I love the journey. It's learning by doing as well.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
It's not perfect. And that's great. Done is better than perfect. The learning is in the doing for me. And that's what I practice. And that's what I share with all these amazing women.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
because my program is online and I actually focus on the world. So most of the women actually indeed come from the US, Canada, even India. One from Singapore indeed, it's the MENA region, Middle East, North Africa. It's actually beautiful to see how actually the cultural context, the face, the layers are universal, really.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
When we talk about feminine energy, masculine energy, or male, women, it's whatever, all these layers, it's really universal. And so when we talk about women, feminine context when we talk about what a woman or women experience in leadership positions. That's actually what I can really draw today from all these different women all around the world I talk with every day.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
And so the cultural sensitivity is really not... Depending on, like, local context, I think it's more cultural. It's about cultural challenges women face. But there are, again, universities, it's about sexism, it's about racism, it's about societal expectations. And these different layers, you need to provide tailored guidance and support.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
So I have women who say, look, the last 10 years I had coaching, but they were all male coaches, life coaches, business coaches, but they don't seem to... grasped at deeper layers that women face. I've just hit the boundary. I cannot dig deeper with this coach. So actually, I need a woman whom I can relate. And I think that's logic. It's like going to therapy.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
If you go to couple therapy, for example, a relationship,
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
relationships i know here in belgium for example we have a lot more and more intercultural couples so couples that you know with different ethical backgrounds etc and it brings certain again other complexity with it so the therapists here most of them are native belgians so they are mostly white and after two or three sessions these couples face difficulties because they cannot dig deeper the therapist cannot relate
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
with the world, with the cultural, with the implicit language that just is part of the intercultural world. And so that's why I love the fact that we are with so many different kind of coaches, that there is diversity. And that's why I chose the niche of women. Of course, I can coach men. There are also men who are jumping on calls with me and want to work with me and yes, please let's go.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
But I just know that's why I chose this high-performing woman. I am, I was, and I am a high-performing woman and just feel I can relate more to different layers. When we talk about relationships, when we talk about your position as a daughter, as a sister, as a friend, as a lover, as whatever.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
The first female board member as the first female whatever, we are confronted always with the same judgments, with the same difficulties, complexities. And that's so nice that you don't need to put all your energy in explaining all these things. And someone can just relate and you can just put in the work together. That's what you want. You want to put in the work.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
You don't only want to overcome it. You want to learn.
Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
to live with difficulties and to accept actually the different the curveballs and the challenges that that life throws at you and so i think it's more that it's more like really coupled with cultural yeah culture and gender or maybe for others religion and sexual orientation i think these are all these different layers so that's why the supportive community
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
Plus, we faced COVID and Black Lives Matter during my first year, making me work from zero to 200% in politics. And that's where I really regret the decision because I went into politics at a bad time. I had several big projects and teams running. So when I started my mandate, I invested all my time in politics and people, leaving my teams and projects behind.
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
And of course, there were other managers and board members, etc. You were the face, so you were accountable. And this really gave my political opponents the best shot to spin and turn disinformation, hurting my reputation. And I almost lost everything. My health even led to, like I said, bankruptcy.
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
And it's just because I was quite naive, because choosing one party made other parties that supported, for example, our organizations... organizations, yeah, furious. They felt that's something typical of politics. They always feel that you owe them, right? And because of my choice, it felt for them like betrayal.
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
So my initial motivation to speak up in these hard times, pivotal times for the country, as a community builder with 15 years of experience, let's go into politics and have this system changing. The initial motivation was it may be legit, but the consequences. I didn't think about the consequences enough. And it was a very hard way to experience this harsh truth.
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
And it became now a reset button on my 35th birthday. But the good thing, I lost a big part of my ego and my relationships and health are stronger than ever. Because the key lessons really is, because that was a big part of your question. So sorry that I'm just answering now. If I think about it, I wasn't aligned with my values and beliefs anymore.
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
So my lesson is, if you feel you have to give up on your principles, quit. Certainly in politics, quit. Don't fight. And it's like, oh, see, that's not really courageous. It's because the status quo is hard to change. And especially if you speak up for the underrepresented, if something happens to you, they can't speak up for you. You lose anyway.
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
And especially when you started politics from a kind of a messiah complex, where you go into politics because you want to change things, because you believe you can change things. And thinking that you can change deep-rooted inequalities, like just by yourself, it's Not true. It's not possible.
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
So first of all, I actually had to convert my circles of trust and credibility communities to the bigger purpose. And then at the bottom, you need to build strong foundations. Your mandate actually isn't associated just with you, but stands for bigger projects. That's the only way that you don't isolate, but that you can start to collaborate together.
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
And another key lesson, don't make eco-driven decisions. Sometimes you have to stay low, work harder, because when you rise too fast, the powers in place will focus on you, will bring you down quickly. And then the question is left, like, what legacy is then left? What change did you bring? Was it for the better or for the worse?
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
And then the biggest lesson, of course, from a governance point of view, if you have companies or mandates, just quit before entering politics to avoid them being used against you. And the most beautiful lesson, I think, you are elected by the people. Okay. So even though they can maybe damage your reputation with misinformation and political campaigns, adversity, they cannot take your seat. Okay.
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
It's the people chose you. Don't ever forget that and try to show up, be courageous. But if the environment is too toxic. Is it worth it? If you're quite isolated, especially as people who stand for change, sometimes it's not worth it.
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
You still need to prioritize yourself, self-care, and certainly if you have a family you're accountable for, you need to put yourself in them first, because otherwise you cannot fight for the people. That's just the thing, and sometimes I think it's about timing. For me, it wasn't the right timing. I made an ego-driven decision and it was a messiah complex. And, of course, belief.
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
I had everything, like potential and talent, to do something, to drive change. Otherwise, there was no focus on keeping from political opponents. So that I know. But it was too soon, too early, without a foundation, a community standing next to me, beside me, standing for this bigger project. And that's okay. It's a hard lesson learned. It's And my motivation was legit.
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
And yeah, all the rest is trying to keep driving change as an advocate for change, as an entrepreneur, as an impact consultant. That's actually what I do better. So that's my position now.
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
Hello, hello.
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
Beautiful. Yeah, I can relate. I can relate. The environment is everything. If you feel you're surviving instead of thriving, you need to quit. You need to leave. Because a lot of women that I guide now, some of them really start, they're really these beautiful, amazing women, high positions.
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
And they're still sometimes like in this environment with these political games, toxic leadership, and they stay. I'm like, okay, what's the plan? And the strange thing is that they cling, they're just holding this situation, holding... It's holding them back. They're just stuck. And sometimes it's better to accept the rejection than feeling stuck, I think.
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
So if the environment, the toxic environment feels like a rejection, maybe it's better. Rejection can be redirection and it's sometimes better to just leave. And I think the most liberating decision can be to move on. And like you said, you need to find your tribe, you need to find your environment so you can try. But it's confronting, right? Being rejected. Why is someone toxic?
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
It's like, for example, for women. Of course, more and more women go into leadership positions. They're needed, okay? And feminine leadership is actually based on empathy, emotional intelligence, also inclusivity. And... I know that, and I was one of them, that it's no longer true that women need to like mimic masculine or male leaders. No.
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
I think we should embrace our strength, lead with our authentic selves. And I think we can relate. I don't know if you experienced it, but I've experienced so many times called being irritated or too emotional after just being me in stating my points in a meeting with a lot of passion. But it does affect you as a woman, as a person, as a human. You lose your genuine, vulnerable self because of it.
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
And so I think when the moment you have to choose and you have to... be someone that you're not. Yeah, you lose your authenticity and that's so important in a leading position that you actually not only leading position for everyone to be able to lean into your authenticity and that's not possible in a toxic work environment.
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
All right. What an opening. That's quite a story, right? So, for the people listening, my name is Sihem. I was born in 86 to Moroccan immigrants in Belgium. I was raised there, studied there, worked there. In the past 20 years, I was an entrepreneur, actually a five-time founder, former member of parliament. And yeah, I actually have to just be very honest.
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
As a young woman of color, I did face a lot of adversity. And my milestone started there, I think, because I found a way through education, hard work and luck to transform adversity into a sort of resilience. My experience really sparked for me a super deep desire to turn these societal hurdles into driving force for change. So my milestone is there the nonprofit work.
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
I founded, designed, implemented award-winning empowerment programs, education programs for youth and women. But simultaneously, I did enter the entrepreneurial world, co-founded several firms, especially focused on next-gen inclusion and diversity. Yeah, that was like the first 15 years. And then five years ago, I entered politics as a member of parliament.
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
And that changed really everything, but more the worse. where entrepreneurship is a positive sum game, I can assure you politics is a zero-sum game. It became this toxic work environment. And yeah, a couple of years ago, three, four years ago, I went through a very difficult burnout. Period of burnout, diagnosed PTSD. So it forced me to slow down.
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
During slowing down, what is a privilege today that you can slow down, I healed, started pivoting. And actually, I really went from being burnt out, confused, overwhelmed, even bankrupt to now being back in the best shape of my life, physically, mentally. I'm resilient, but actually more than resilient. I love to say I'm antifragile. I really find strength in adversity and
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
I'm in a career that I'm more proud of than ever. So I can probably say that today I'm a skin in the game consultant. Impact and innovation is my thing at the intersection of people, prosperity, planet. And actually it's about converting SDGs into tangible results. And besides consulting, I love coaching high-performing women because we can relate. And I think that's also the way we met, Vince.
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
Yeah, I love the question again, because like you said, mental health is something a lot of people deal with today. It's not only about measuring mental health and having more assessments and having more people going to therapy or talking about it. It's really an issue that in this
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
difficult times where everything is a little bit confusing, where we have a lack of leadership as well, a lack of sense of belonging sometimes, that the things that are happening in the world also just weigh on people. And for me, politics was maybe ignited something that was, of course, leads to something from a young age.
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
And of course, as a child, OK, but it's the last four years that have been transformational. Like I said, I was always on top of my game, going like a high-speed train. I had these very short and long-term goals, high on the prize, accomplishment. And then when life takes an unexpected turn, for me, in just one day, I went from doing very well to hitting rock bottom.
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
And that confusion, stress, anxiety, but also the rejection that came with it had such a huge impact on my mental health, life, and career that, of course, when you slow down and dig deeper and do the work,
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
Yeah, of course, it's connected with who is Siham, who was Siham when she was like this eight-year-old child and then in her teenager time, what led Siham to this, yeah, to this time of confusion. So for me, for example, when everything happened to me a couple of years ago, like really the big, Clack. The doors slammed shut in my face. I really tried to solve the situation with coping mechanisms.
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
I knew. But it made things worse. So this really led to life-changing questions. It also led to zero self-belief and confidence. And you mentioned success. For me... I personalize myself with success. But when you personalize yourself with your success, you do the same with your failures. Without success, without my work, without external validation and recognition, I felt like nothing.
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
I felt a nobody. And this comes from someone whose work was empowering people until they could say, I am somebody. So this was really so painful. The rejection was, I couldn't get a grasp on my life again. So I really had to put in a lot of work. after I realized that rock bottom can become fertile ground. And it became fertile ground for me. But I couldn't do this by myself.
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
It was my support system. It was coaching. It was therapy. It was podcasts, books, going back to study, all these things, all these programs. I decided to use this rock bottom as a reset button. And yeah, I could just rebuild from the ground up. What are your values? Politics led me far away from my core beliefs and values, so I could align back with my real values.
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
I could rewrite my purpose, my ikigai. I could align them with what I was doing, with my action, and I could redefine success, health. And even though it's actually this period of struggling with my mental health changed my perspective on what it means to have a successful career and to be at our best in our health, at work, in our careers, in our relationships.
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
And that personal journey became just this transformation to let go of a lot of things, to let go of control, to let go of my ego, the ego of my past success, I call it. Do you really want to go back to the person you were, the situation you were in?
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
And no, embrace the privilege that maybe the fact that you can slow down can also has led me to realizing that I am somebody without accolades and achievements. So actually, my mental health today is better than before. But before, I didn't feel it because I was so busy in my head. I wasn't in my body. So today, it's really being aligned with your mind, body and soul. It's true.
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
And I had to experience it in a very hard way. But this healing journey is... It was an opportunity, is an opportunity to learn, to grow, to pivot. It's a journey to re-node purpose and direction. And today you just understand that you need to build your mental health and the way you approach life and projects or work or whatever, relationships in a more sustainable way.
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
And of course, it took me a lot of time. It took me three years. And so that's why I said besides consulting, I love coaching because I don't think it has to take three years and you can do this alone. So I'm so privileged that during my mental health crisis.
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
journey like going from rock bottom to where i am today and how i approach life today is of course because i had an abundance of love and warmth and grateful to have the health the physical health as well and to be able to cope with this very dark period to where i am today full of light
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
Politics is a difficult chapter in my life, so I'll take time to think about the lines that I want to share. And I think I have to start from the beginning and then go towards the lessons learned. So if I start with the beginning, back then I was 28, working at full speed as an entrepreneur.
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
Our organizations were making a huge impact on youth and people through empowerment, impact-driven consultancy. And actually, I never...
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
intended to run for elections really several party leaders asked me to join their party and run i always said no was my default answer because we had impact and freedom to speak up without political affiliation so we could advocate for change for equality and justice really but like the rest of europe and the west belgium saw the rise of extreme parties
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
for right, conservatism, we had this racism, sexism, name it, you name it. And social media, and I was a target for that, social media became a hotbed for hate speech, which of course hurts as a community builder and leader that what we were doing, bringing people together, creating sense of belonging, uniting people through projects, tangible achievements, youth centers, et cetera.
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
So when I saw that these elections In 2019, this was end of 2018, beginning 2019, these elections would be pivotal for the country. So that's where, when one of the, some people came to me from a certain party, that's the first time, it was the timing as well. I was emotional because everything was happening. I could see it in the news. I was like, well, what is this?
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
All these campaigns, anti-women, anti-migrants, et cetera. So I decided to run in 24 hours. I consulted, of course. People close to me, but like with everything, these people that knew me as a high-performing woman, always stubborn, just doing my thing, ego-driven decisions, they just, they couldn't hold me back. I know they wanted to do, but they couldn't.
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
They just knew that I wasn't, they weren't able to hold me back. And that was like part of my personality and also part of being stubborn in your goals and in your visions to make a change. I decided to run, got elected, but it was from... Day one of campaigning, very challenging. We had this conservatism, nationalism, far-right. They had almost 50% representation.
Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
So can you imagine being in parliament? More than 50% is really the opposite of what you stand for and who you are and, you know, what my looks are and etc. So it's created a tough work environment. People forget that it's a work environment. You go to your work as a member of parliament.