Chief Change Officer
#219 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part One
Fri, 7 Mar 2025
From politics to entrepreneurship, Sihame El Kaouakibi has faced—and conquered—some serious challenges. Burnout? Check. Bankruptcy? Been there. A political storm? Handled. But instead of breaking under pressure, she calls herself “anti-fragile,” using adversity as fuel for reinvention. In Part One, we explore how she built herself back up as a leadership coach, diversity advocate, and creator of Women Leaders OS. And this is just the beginning.Key Highlights of Our Interview:Burnt Out, Bankrupt, and Back in Business“I went from being burnt out, confused, overwhelmed, and even bankrupt to now being in the best shape of my life—physically, mentally, and professionally.”Validation Detox: Kicking the Need for External Approval“Without success, without my work, without external validation and recognition, I felt like nothing. I felt nobody.”Politics 101: When Ego Meets Reality“I made an ego-driven decision, and it was a messiah complex, believing I had everything—like potential and talents to drive change.”“I wasn’t aligned with my values and beliefs anymore. So my lesson is if you feel you have to give up on your principles, quit.”Thriving vs. Surviving: Why “You’re Not Stuck, You’re Just in the Wrong Pot” Applies to Your Career“The most liberating decision can be to move on and find your tribe, find your environment where you can thrive.”“Sometimes it’s better to accept the rejection than feeling stuck. Rejection can be redirection, and it’s sometimes better to just leave.”Operating System for Women Leaders: How to Handle Life’s Curveballs Without Crashing“My mission is to help 1 million women turn life challenges into life changes for the better. These women want to break through in their careers, but they want to do it without the burnouts.”“Women still lack internal beliefs and also support systems. So it starts really with women deciding that they are worthy and willing to change.”Success Isn’t Always Instagram-Pretty: The Ugly Side of the Hustle“There’s so much about glamorized success, but there is always another side. People you envy might be in deep pain, even if they are millionaires or have social status.”_____________________Connect with Us:Host: Vince Chan | Guest: Sihame El Kaouakibi______________________--**Chief Change Officer**--Change Ambitiously. Outgrow Yourself.Open a World of Deep Human Intelligence for Growth Progressives, Visionary Underdogs,Transformation Gurus & Bold Hearts.6 Million+ All-Time Downloads.Reaching 80+ Countries Daily.Global Top 3% Podcast.Top 10 US Business.Top 1 US Careers.100,000+ subscribers are outgrowing. Act Today. --Chief Change Officer--Change Ambitiously. Outgrow Yourself.Open a World of Expansive Human Intelligencefor Transformation Gurus, Black Sheep,Unsung Visionaries & Bold Hearts.12 Million+ All-Time Downloads.Reaching 80+ Countries Daily.Global Top 3% Podcast.Top 10 US Business.Top 1 US Careers.>>>140,000+ are outgrowing. Act Today.<<<
Chapter 1: Who is Sihame El Kaouakibi and what challenges has she faced?
Hi, everyone. Welcome to our show, Chief Change Officer. I'm Vince Chen, your ambitious human host. Our show is a modernist humility for change progressives in organizational and human transformation from around the world. How do I even begin to introduce our first guest from Belgium who has Moroccan roots? Her name is Siham El-Kawakibi.
She is a Moroccan immigrant, a burnout and bankruptcy survivor, a parliamentarian, a champion of diversity and inclusion. She is also the creator of Women Leaders OS and a Women's Leadership Coach. She is all these and more. Beyond these identities, what truly impresses me are the experiences that have shaped these transformations. Some people thrive in politics. others in stability.
Siham thrives in adversity. She describes herself as more than resilient. She is antifragile. I see her as someone who has learned over time to turn adversity into an advantage. is not an inborn talent. Rather, it's something nurtured and developed. How? Let's find out.
Hello, hello.
Yes, I'm here. Thank you. Seaham has over 20 years of experience across both the private and public sectors, along with a wealth of personal experiences. That's so much we can talk about today. Before that, Could you give us an overview of your journey through the key milestones of your life and career? Then we'll explore different elements in more detail.
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Chapter 2: How did Sihame El Kaouakibi's career evolve from entrepreneurship to politics?
All right. What an opening. That's quite a story, right? So, for the people listening, my name is Sihem. I was born in 86 to Moroccan immigrants in Belgium. I was raised there, studied there, worked there. In the past 20 years, I was an entrepreneur, actually a five-time founder, former member of parliament. And yeah, I actually have to just be very honest.
As a young woman of color, I did face a lot of adversity. And my milestone started there, I think, because I found a way through education, hard work and luck to transform adversity into a sort of resilience. My experience really sparked for me a super deep desire to turn these societal hurdles into driving force for change. So my milestone is there the nonprofit work.
I founded, designed, implemented award-winning empowerment programs, education programs for youth and women. But simultaneously, I did enter the entrepreneurial world, co-founded several firms, especially focused on next-gen inclusion and diversity. Yeah, that was like the first 15 years. And then five years ago, I entered politics as a member of parliament.
And that changed really everything, but more the worse. where entrepreneurship is a positive sum game, I can assure you politics is a zero-sum game. It became this toxic work environment. And yeah, a couple of years ago, three, four years ago, I went through a very difficult burnout. Period of burnout, diagnosed PTSD. So it forced me to slow down.
During slowing down, what is a privilege today that you can slow down, I healed, started pivoting. And actually, I really went from being burnt out, confused, overwhelmed, even bankrupt to now being back in the best shape of my life, physically, mentally. I'm resilient, but actually more than resilient. I love to say I'm antifragile. I really find strength in adversity and
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Chapter 3: What led to Sihame's burnout and how did she recover?
I'm in a career that I'm more proud of than ever. So I can probably say that today I'm a skin in the game consultant. Impact and innovation is my thing at the intersection of people, prosperity, planet. And actually it's about converting SDGs into tangible results. And besides consulting, I love coaching high-performing women because we can relate. And I think that's also the way we met, Vince.
Yes, we met through common friends and explored common topics, which is one of the reasons why I really wanted to interview you. You have so much knowledge and real experience to share. As I mentioned in the show notes, I don't sell the success stories of my guests. They are obviously successful in their own way and in their own space.
But what makes this podcast special is the real stories, the lived experiences, which sometimes aren't very pleasant. You mentioned mental health, which is undoubtedly a hot topic in today's world. Honestly, in a world as complex and challenging as ours, who can truly say they are perfectly mentally healthy? We all have to deal with different kinds of stress and burnout. So let's stop here.
Let's talk about mental health. If I understood you correctly, Is this something that stems from your years in politics? Or does it go further back? Maybe to your childhood, adolescence, or work life in the private sector? Please share more about the challenges you faced.
Chapter 4: How does Sihame El Kaouakibi define antifragility and resilience?
Yeah, I love the question again, because like you said, mental health is something a lot of people deal with today. It's not only about measuring mental health and having more assessments and having more people going to therapy or talking about it. It's really an issue that in this
difficult times where everything is a little bit confusing, where we have a lack of leadership as well, a lack of sense of belonging sometimes, that the things that are happening in the world also just weigh on people. And for me, politics was maybe ignited something that was, of course, leads to something from a young age.
Chapter 5: What role did mental health play in Sihame's journey?
And of course, as a child, OK, but it's the last four years that have been transformational. Like I said, I was always on top of my game, going like a high-speed train. I had these very short and long-term goals, high on the prize, accomplishment. And then when life takes an unexpected turn, for me, in just one day, I went from doing very well to hitting rock bottom.
And that confusion, stress, anxiety, but also the rejection that came with it had such a huge impact on my mental health, life, and career that, of course, when you slow down and dig deeper and do the work,
Yeah, of course, it's connected with who is Siham, who was Siham when she was like this eight-year-old child and then in her teenager time, what led Siham to this, yeah, to this time of confusion. So for me, for example, when everything happened to me a couple of years ago, like really the big, Clack. The doors slammed shut in my face. I really tried to solve the situation with coping mechanisms.
I knew. But it made things worse. So this really led to life-changing questions. It also led to zero self-belief and confidence. And you mentioned success. For me... I personalize myself with success. But when you personalize yourself with your success, you do the same with your failures. Without success, without my work, without external validation and recognition, I felt like nothing.
I felt a nobody. And this comes from someone whose work was empowering people until they could say, I am somebody. So this was really so painful. The rejection was, I couldn't get a grasp on my life again. So I really had to put in a lot of work. after I realized that rock bottom can become fertile ground. And it became fertile ground for me. But I couldn't do this by myself.
It was my support system. It was coaching. It was therapy. It was podcasts, books, going back to study, all these things, all these programs. I decided to use this rock bottom as a reset button. And yeah, I could just rebuild from the ground up. What are your values? Politics led me far away from my core beliefs and values, so I could align back with my real values.
I could rewrite my purpose, my ikigai. I could align them with what I was doing, with my action, and I could redefine success, health. And even though it's actually this period of struggling with my mental health changed my perspective on what it means to have a successful career and to be at our best in our health, at work, in our careers, in our relationships.
And that personal journey became just this transformation to let go of a lot of things, to let go of control, to let go of my ego, the ego of my past success, I call it. Do you really want to go back to the person you were, the situation you were in?
And no, embrace the privilege that maybe the fact that you can slow down can also has led me to realizing that I am somebody without accolades and achievements. So actually, my mental health today is better than before. But before, I didn't feel it because I was so busy in my head. I wasn't in my body. So today, it's really being aligned with your mind, body and soul. It's true.
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Chapter 6: What lessons did Sihame learn from her political career?
I bring this up because you mentioned that politics is a negative sum game. While I can imagine the satisfaction of being in a position of influence and making an impact on the communities you care about, I can also see how political games could be a major source of mental health challenges. Can you share more about the challenges you faced during that time?
And of course, without naming names, just the lessons you learned or specific incidents that led to struggles, perhaps even depression. I think that would be helpful.
Politics is a difficult chapter in my life, so I'll take time to think about the lines that I want to share. And I think I have to start from the beginning and then go towards the lessons learned. So if I start with the beginning, back then I was 28, working at full speed as an entrepreneur.
Our organizations were making a huge impact on youth and people through empowerment, impact-driven consultancy. And actually, I never...
intended to run for elections really several party leaders asked me to join their party and run i always said no was my default answer because we had impact and freedom to speak up without political affiliation so we could advocate for change for equality and justice really but like the rest of europe and the west belgium saw the rise of extreme parties
for right, conservatism, we had this racism, sexism, name it, you name it. And social media, and I was a target for that, social media became a hotbed for hate speech, which of course hurts as a community builder and leader that what we were doing, bringing people together, creating sense of belonging, uniting people through projects, tangible achievements, youth centers, et cetera.
So when I saw that these elections In 2019, this was end of 2018, beginning 2019, these elections would be pivotal for the country. So that's where, when one of the, some people came to me from a certain party, that's the first time, it was the timing as well. I was emotional because everything was happening. I could see it in the news. I was like, well, what is this?
All these campaigns, anti-women, anti-migrants, et cetera. So I decided to run in 24 hours. I consulted, of course. People close to me, but like with everything, these people that knew me as a high-performing woman, always stubborn, just doing my thing, ego-driven decisions, they just, they couldn't hold me back. I know they wanted to do, but they couldn't.
They just knew that I wasn't, they weren't able to hold me back. And that was like part of my personality and also part of being stubborn in your goals and in your visions to make a change. I decided to run, got elected, but it was from... Day one of campaigning, very challenging. We had this conservatism, nationalism, far-right. They had almost 50% representation.
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