Chief Change Officer
#220 Sihame El Kaouakibi: How to Fail Spectacularly—Then Win Even Bigger – Part Two
Fri, 7 Mar 2025
Part Two. From politics to entrepreneurship, Sihame El Kaouakibi has faced—and conquered—some serious challenges. Burnout? Check. Bankruptcy? Been there. A political storm? Handled. But instead of breaking under pressure, she calls herself “anti-fragile,” using adversity as fuel for reinvention. In Part One, we explore how she built herself back up as a leadership coach, diversity advocate, and creator of Women Leaders OS. And this is just the beginning.Key Highlights of Our Interview:Burnt Out, Bankrupt, and Back in Business“I went from being burnt out, confused, overwhelmed, and even bankrupt to now being in the best shape of my life—physically, mentally, and professionally.”Validation Detox: Kicking the Need for External Approval“Without success, without my work, without external validation and recognition, I felt like nothing. I felt nobody.”Politics 101: When Ego Meets Reality“I made an ego-driven decision, and it was a messiah complex, believing I had everything—like potential and talents to drive change.”“I wasn’t aligned with my values and beliefs anymore. So my lesson is if you feel you have to give up on your principles, quit.”Thriving vs. Surviving: Why “You’re Not Stuck, You’re Just in the Wrong Pot” Applies to Your Career“The most liberating decision can be to move on and find your tribe, find your environment where you can thrive.”“Sometimes it’s better to accept the rejection than feeling stuck. Rejection can be redirection, and it’s sometimes better to just leave.”Operating System for Women Leaders: How to Handle Life’s Curveballs Without Crashing“My mission is to help 1 million women turn life challenges into life changes for the better. These women want to break through in their careers, but they want to do it without the burnouts.”“Women still lack internal beliefs and also support systems. So it starts really with women deciding that they are worthy and willing to change.”Success Isn’t Always Instagram-Pretty: The Ugly Side of the Hustle“There’s so much about glamorized success, but there is always another side. People you envy might be in deep pain, even if they are millionaires or have social status.”_____________________Connect with Us:Host: Vince Chan | Guest: Sihame El Kaouakibi______________________--Chief Change Officer--Change Ambitiously. Outgrow Yourself.Open a World of Expansive Human Intelligencefor Transformation Gurus, Black Sheep,Unsung Visionaries & Bold Hearts.10 Million+ All-Time Downloads.Reaching 80+ Countries Daily.Global Top 3% Podcast.Top 10 US Business.Top 1 US Careers.130,000+ are outgrowing. Act Today. --Chief Change Officer--Change Ambitiously. Outgrow Yourself.Open a World of Expansive Human Intelligencefor Transformation Gurus, Black Sheep,Unsung Visionaries & Bold Hearts.12 Million+ All-Time Downloads.Reaching 80+ Countries Daily.Global Top 3% Podcast.Top 10 US Business.Top 1 US Careers.>>>140,000+ are outgrowing. Act Today.<<<
Chapter 1: Who is Sihame El Kaouakibi and why is she featured in this episode?
Hi, everyone. Welcome to our show, Chief Change Officer. I'm Vince Chen, your ambitious human host. Our show is a modernist humility for change progressives in organizational and human transformation from around the world. How do I even begin to introduce our first guest from Belgium who has Moroccan roots? Her name is Siham El-Kawakibi.
She is a Moroccan immigrant, a burnout and bankruptcy survivor, a parliamentarian, a champion of diversity and inclusion, She is also the creator of Women Leaders OS and a Women's Leadership Coach. She is all of these and more. Beyond these identities, what truly impresses me are the experiences that have shaped these transformations. Some people thrive in politics. others in stability.
Siham thrives in adversity. She describes herself as more than resilient. She is anti-fragile. I see her as someone who has learned over time to turn adversity into an advantage. is not an inborn talent, rather is something nurtured and developed. How? Let's find out. Politics, whether in government or the office, is something that some people are really good at navigating.
Some people thrive in it and even seek out more of it. It sounds like you saw Parliament as a stage to make a positive impact on the communities you care about. Your intentions were noble. but the environment made things worse. Not only were you unable to create the impact you wanted, but you also faced various attacks and toxic behavior. The same goes for office environments.
Chapter 2: How did Sihame El Kaouakibi navigate political challenges?
Many corporate workers might be incredibly smart and capable, but they struggle to climb the corporate ladder. because they either don't play politics, don't play it well, or aren't willing to play it at all. I've been in the corporate world, and I've seen and experienced my share of political maneuvering. I've had my own struggles with mental health due to corporate politics.
That's part of why I decided to become an entrepreneur, a free agent, rather than being bound or controlled by that environment. For many people, whether they are considering a job change, a career shift, or even trying to change the world as an entrepreneur, one key takeaway is to choose your environment and culture carefully. In certain cultures and environments, you can thrive and excel.
In others, you might struggle. It doesn't mean you are not smart or that your intentions are not good enough. Often, it's the environment and the culture that holds you back, preventing you from achieving what you want to achieve. That's been my experience.
Beautiful. Yeah, I can relate. I can relate. The environment is everything. If you feel you're surviving instead of thriving, you need to quit. You need to leave. Because a lot of women that I guide now, some of them really start, they're really these beautiful, amazing women, high positions.
Chapter 3: Why is finding the right environment crucial for success?
And they're still sometimes like in this environment with these political games, toxic leadership, and they stay. I'm like, okay, what's the plan? And the strange thing is that they cling, they're just holding this situation, holding...
it's holding them back they're just stuck and sometimes it's better to accept the rejection than feeling stuck i think so if the environment the toxic environment feels like a rejection maybe it's better rejection can be redirection and it's sometimes better to just leave and i think the most liberating decision can be to move on
And like you said, you need to find your tribe, you need to find your environment so you can try. But it's confronting, right? Being rejected. Why is someone toxic? It's like, for example, for women. Of course, more and more women go into leadership positions. They're needed, okay? And feminine leadership is actually based on empathy, emotional intelligence, also inclusivity. And...
I know that, and I was one of them, that it's no longer true that women need to mimic masculine or male leaders. No. I think we should embrace our strengths, lead with our authentic selves. And I think we can relate. I don't know if you experienced it, but I've experienced so many times being irritated or too emotional after just being me in stating my points in a meeting with a lot of fashion.
But it does affect you as a woman, as a person, as a human. You lose your genuine, vulnerable self because of it. And so I think when the moment you have to choose and you have to be someone that you're not, yeah, you deserve authenticity. And that's so important in a leading position that you actually not only leading position for everyone to be able to lean into your authenticity.
And that's not possible in a toxic work environment.
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Chapter 4: What is Women Leaders OS and how does it empower women?
I know you have your own consulting and coaching practice. You've developed what you call the Women Leaders OS, which stands for Operating System. Can you tell us more about how this approach works? I know it is not a digital system like iOS, the Apple system, but I'm curious to learn more about how this operating system you've designed benefits your target audience, women leaders.
Yeah, Women Leaders, Help Forming Women. The reason I created Women Leaders OS was exactly what I needed at many points in my life. Like I already shared, going from doing very well to hitting rock bottom, it just leads you to a healing journey that guides you back to your true self. And you just realize that the path I realized that the path I was on was nothing like what I used to love.
It was actually far from what I believed in. And I just care too much about achieving things and what others thought of me and leading you as a high-performing woman juggling multiple responsibilities. Well, you do feel overwhelmed and you start questioning your path. When I was doing this, I started several programs, investing my time in studies, etc. Therapy, coaching.
And I realized I was alone, of course. Many women were experiencing the same struggles. And it took me three years and a lot of financial investment to get where I am now. And my belief is that it shouldn't take others three years. And it should be financially accessible. And that's why...
Besides my real consulting, like what's more my income, being an impact consulting on SEGs, supporting founders to scale sustainably, et cetera, I have this mission to do something with this recent button that the curveball life threw at me. And it is like my mission, I always love to say my mission is to help 1 million women turning life challenges into life changes for the better.
These women want to break through in their careers, but they want to do it without the burnout. They want to have more fulfillment in life. And it's possible. The world of women is my world. And I needed to heal, to see, and to deal with life's challenges. And I believe that other women can do the same. I also believe that...
There is a lot of strength and that what these times need, what the world needs for the moment is more women, okay? But women still lack internal beliefs and also support systems. So it starts really with women deciding that they are worthy and willing to change. And the women who are ready for change, I really want to support these women through my community, through my program.
So this is a 90-day coaching program, one-on-one, not just about career advancement, but like I said, about redefining success, reframing their challenges, and helping them doing it because helping them, redefining for them what it means to be at our best again. What are your coping mechanisms? How can we change them?
And just aligning professional aspirations with this personal fulfillment is so important. And these are beautiful journeys. But what I love most is actually the community. It's not the program itself one-on-one. It's building a community of all these amazing women that just are supportive for each other.
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Chapter 5: What are the unique challenges for women leaders globally?
These people also have lives, they have relationships, a family, and we all know we all have issues.
We all have, whether it's with health, whether it's with family, whether you want to repurpose and redirect and you don't know how, because you were always on this high-speed train, never slowing down, never seeing your true self, actually, uncovering parts of yourself as a woman in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, doesn't matter. It's all different phases of life.
And taking time to slow down and having people that can relate is so important. And so why I call it an operator-heating system is because it's my aspiration, and I'm building it, actually, that I can... Actually, I'm digitizing all the tools I use from life rule assessments, decision matrix, the Ikigai, of course, career path roadmaps, all these things, blueprints, happy trackers.
I'm digitizing this so it can become real tangible tools A toolkit actually that women can use whenever they want, wherever they want, and still can lean into the support of a community. So in that way, it can be financially accessible, low ticket. And those who still want one-on-one coaching, just they can jump on a call with me and then we can see if there is a match. That's what I do today.
But actually, I love these free clarity calls I do every day. I have three spots every day limited for women who really need some clarity, feeling overwhelmed. And sometimes 15, 30 minutes is enough. And others need more. Okay, I'm there. Some just need a community. Some need one-on-one coaching. It's not a one-size-fits-all, but I love the journey. It's learning by doing as well.
It's not perfect. And that's great. Done is better than perfect. The learning is in the doing for me. And that's what I practice. And that's what I share with all these amazing women.
Like I said, we need more women leaders. And we are seeing more of them emerge around the world. My podcast is global, with guests from different parts of the world. And a major part of the audience is in the U.S. But Siham, you are in Belgium, in Europe. And I'm curious about any specific challenges or interesting phenomena related to women leaders in your country or in your culture.
Are there particular difficulties or unique cultural aspects in Belgium or your part of Europe that may differ from those in the US or Asia? I'd love to hear about your observations and experiences.
because my program is online and I actually focus on the world. So most of the women actually indeed come from the US, Canada, even India. One from Singapore indeed, it's the MENA region, Middle East, North Africa. It's actually beautiful to see how actually the cultural context, the face, the layers are universal, really.
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Chapter 6: How can cultural sensitivity enhance coaching for women?
And so the cultural sensitivity is really not... Depending on, like, local context, I think it's more cultural. It's about cultural challenges women face. But there are, again, universities, it's about sexism, it's about racism, it's about societal expectations. And these different layers, you need to provide tailored guidance and support.
So I have women who say, look, the last 10 years I had coaching, but they were all male coaches, life coaches, business coaches, but they don't seem to... grasped at deeper layers that women face. I've just hit the boundary. I cannot dig deeper with this coach. So actually, I need a woman whom I can relate. And I think that's logic. It's like going to therapy.
If you go to couple therapy, for example, a relationship,
relationships i know here in belgium for example we have a lot more and more intercultural couples so couples that you know with different ethical backgrounds etc and it brings certain again other complexity with it so the therapists here most of them are native belgians so they are mostly white and after two or three sessions these couples face difficulties because they cannot dig deeper the therapist cannot relate
with the world, with the cultural, with the implicit language that just is part of the intercultural world. And so that's why I love the fact that we are with so many different kind of coaches, that there is diversity. And that's why I chose the niche of women. Of course, I can coach men. There are also men who are jumping on calls with me and want to work with me and yes, please let's go.
But I just know that's why I chose this high-performing woman. I am, I was, and I am a high-performing woman and just feel I can relate more to different layers. When we talk about relationships, when we talk about your position as a daughter, as a sister, as a friend, as a lover, as whatever.
The first female board member as the first female whatever, we are confronted always with the same judgments, with the same difficulties, complexities. And that's so nice that you don't need to put all your energy in explaining all these things. And someone can just relate and you can just put in the work together. That's what you want. You want to put in the work.
You don't only want to overcome it. You want to learn.
to live with difficulties and to accept actually the different the curveballs and the challenges that that life throws at you and so i think it's more that it's more like really coupled with cultural yeah culture and gender or maybe for others religion and sexual orientation i think these are all these different layers so that's why the supportive community
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