Chief Change Officer
#128 Sihame El Kaouakibi: Rising from Rock Bottom to Achieve Peak Performance — Part One
Mon, 30 Dec 2024
Part One. Sihame El Kaouakibi is not our average guest. As our first speaker from Belgium, she’s a Moroccan immigrant who has faced and conquered burnout, bankruptcy, and countless challenges. A parliamentarian, diversity advocate, creator of Women Leaders OS, and leadership coach, she represents the epitome of transformation. What makes Sihame truly special is her mindset. She doesn’t just endure adversity—she embraces it, describing herself as “anti-fragile.” Her ability to transform hardships into strengths is something we can all learn from. Tune in to Part One now, and get ready for Part Two tomorrow. Key Highlights of Our Interview: Burnt Out, Bankrupt, and Back in Business “I went from being burnt out, confused, overwhelmed, and even bankrupt to now being in the best shape of my life—physically, mentally, and professionally.” Validation Detox: Kicking the Need for External Approval “Without success, without my work, without external validation and recognition, I felt like nothing. I felt nobody.” Politics 101: When Ego Meets Reality “I made an ego-driven decision, and it was a messiah complex, believing I had everything—like potential and talents to drive change.” “I wasn’t aligned with my values and beliefs anymore. So my lesson is if you feel you have to give up on your principles, quit.” Thriving vs. Surviving: Why “You’re Not Stuck, You’re Just in the Wrong Pot” Applies to Your Career “The most liberating decision can be to move on and find your tribe, find your environment where you can thrive.” “Sometimes it’s better to accept the rejection than feeling stuck. Rejection can be redirection, and it’s sometimes better to just leave.” Operating System for Women Leaders: How to Handle Life’s Curveballs Without Crashing “My mission is to help 1 million women turn life challenges into life changes for the better. These women want to break through in their careers, but they want to do it without the burnouts.” “Women still lack internal beliefs and also support systems. So it starts really with women deciding that they are worthy and willing to change.” Success Isn’t Always Instagram-Pretty: The Ugly Side of the Hustle “There’s so much about glamorized success, but there is always another side. People you envy might be in deep pain, even if they are millionaires or have social status.” Connect with Us: Host: Vince Chan | Guest: Sihame El Kaouakibi ______________________ --Chief Change Officer-- Change Ambitiously. Outgrow Yourself. Open a World of Deep Human Intelligence for Growth Progressives, Visionary Underdogs, Transformation Gurus & Bold Hearts. 6 Million+ All-Time Downloads. Reaching 80+ Countries Daily. Global Top 3% Podcast. Top 10 US Business. Top 1 US Careers. >>>100,000+ subscribers are outgrowing. Act Today.<<< --Chief Change Officer--Change Ambitiously. Outgrow Yourself.Open a World of Expansive Human Intelligencefor Transformation Gurus, Black Sheep,Unsung Visionaries & Bold Hearts.EdTech Leadership Awards 2025 Finalist.18 Million+ All-Time Downloads.80+ Countries Reached Daily.Global Top 1.5% Podcast.Top 10 US Business.Top 1 US Careers.>>>170,000+ are outgrowing. Act Today.<<<
Chapter 1: Who is Sihame El Kaouakibi?
Hi, everyone. Welcome to our show, Chief Change Officer. I'm Vince Chan, your ambitious human host. Our show is a modernist community for change progressives in organizational and human transformation from around the world. How do I even begin to introduce our first guest from Belgium who has Moroccan roots? Her name is Siham El-Kawakibi.
She is a Moroccan immigrant, a burnout and bankruptcy survivor, a parliamentarian, a champion of diversity and inclusion. She is also the creator of Women Leaders OS and a Women's Leadership Coach. She is all these and more. Beyond these identities, what truly impresses me are the experiences that have shaped these transformations. Some people thrive in politics. others in stability.
Siham thrives in adversity. She describes herself as more than resilient. She is anti-fragile. I see her as someone who has learned over time to turn adversity into an advantage. is not an inborn talent. Rather, it's something nurtured and developed. How? Let's find out. Hello, hello. Yes, I'm here. Thank you.
Seaham has over 20 years of experience across both the private and public sectors, along with a wealth of personal experiences. That's so much we can talk about today. Before that, could you give us an overview of your journey through the key milestones of your life and career? Then we'll explore different elements in more detail.
All right. What an opening. That's quite a story, right? So, for the people listening, my name is Sihem. I was born in 86 to Moroccan immigrants in Belgium. I was raised there, studied there, worked there. In the past 20 years, I was an entrepreneur, actually a five-time founder, former member of parliament. And, yeah, I actually have to just be very honest.
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Chapter 2: What challenges did Sihame face in her early career?
As a young woman of color, I did face a lot of adversity. And my milestone started there, I think, because I found a way through education, hard work and luck to transform adversity into success. sort of resilience. My experience really sparked, for me, a super deep desire to turn these societal hurdles into driving force for change. So my milestone is there the nonprofit work.
I founded, designed, implemented award-winning empowerment programs, education programs for youth and women. But simultaneously, I did enter the nonprofit.
world co-founded several firms especially focused on next gen inclusion and diversity yeah that was like the first 15 years and then five years ago I entered politics as a member of parliament and that changed really everything but for the worse where entrepreneurship is a positive sum game I can assure you politics is a zero-sum game It became this toxic work environment.
Chapter 3: How did burnout change Sihame's perspective?
And yeah, a couple of years ago, two, four years ago, I went through a very difficult burnout. Period of burnout, diagnosed PTSD. So it forced me to slow down. During slowing down, what is a privilege today that you can slow down, I healed, started pivoting. And actually, I really went from being burnt out, confused, overwhelmed, even bankrupt to now being back in the best shape of my life.
Physically, mentally, I'm resilient, but actually more than resilient. I love to say I'm anti-fragile. I really find strength in adversity and I'm in a career that I'm more proud of than ever. So I can probably say that today I'm a skin in the game consultant.
Chapter 4: What does being 'anti-fragile' mean?
Impact and innovation is my thing at the intersection of Pitbull, Prosperity Planet, and actually it's about converting SDGs into tangible results. And besides consulting, I love coaching high-performing women because we can relate. And I think that's also the way we met, Vince.
Yes, we met through common friends and explored common topics, which is one of the reasons why I really wanted to interview you. You have so much knowledge and real experience to share. As I mentioned in the show notes, I don't sell the success stories of my guests. They are obviously successful in their own way and in their own space.
But what makes this podcast special is the real stories, the lived experiences, which sometimes aren't very pleasant. You mentioned mental health, which is undoubtedly a hot topic in today's world. Honestly, in a world as complex and challenging as ours, who can truly say they are perfectly mentally healthy? We all have to deal with different kinds of stress and burnout. So let's stop here.
Let's talk about mental health. If I understood you correctly, is this something that stems from your years in politics? Or does it go further back? Maybe to your childhood, adolescence, or work life in the private sector? Please share more about the challenges you faced.
Yeah, I love the question again, because like you said, mental health is something a lot of people deal with today. It's not only about measuring mental health and having more assessments and having more people going to therapy or talking about it. It's really an issue that in this
difficult times where everything is a little bit confusing where we have a lack of leadership as well a lack of sense of belonging sometimes that the things that are happening in the world also just weigh on people and for me politics was maybe ignited something that that was of course leads to something from a young age and of course as a child okay but it's the last four years that have been transformational you know like i said i was always on top of my game going like a high-speed train
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Chapter 5: What lessons did Sihame learn from her political career?
Chapter 6: How can rejection lead to redirection?
But what makes this podcast special is the real stories, the lived experiences, which sometimes aren't very pleasant. You mentioned mental health, which is undoubtedly a hot topic in today's world. Honestly, in a world as complex and challenging as ours, who can truly say they are perfectly mentally healthy? We all have to deal with different kinds of stress and burnout. So let's stop here.
Let's talk about mental health. If I understood you correctly, is this something that stems from your years in politics? Or does it go further back? Maybe to your childhood, adolescence, or work life in the private sector? Please share more about the challenges you faced.
Yeah, I love the question again, because like you said, mental health is something a lot of people deal with today. It's not only about measuring mental health and having more assessments and having more people going to therapy or talking about it. It's really an issue that in this
difficult times where everything is a little bit confusing where we have a lack of leadership as well a lack of sense of belonging sometimes that the things that are happening in the world also just weigh on people and for me politics was maybe ignited something that that was of course leads to something from a young age and of course as a child okay but it's the last four years that have been transformational you know like i said i was always on top of my game going like a high-speed train
I had these very short and long-term goals, high on the prize, accomplishment. And then when life takes an unexpected turn, for me in just one day, I went from doing very well to hitting rock bottom. And that confusion, stress, anxiety, but also the rejection that came with it had such a huge impact on my mental health, life and career.
That of course, when you slow down and dig deeper and do the work, Yeah, of course, it's connected with who is Siham, who was Siham when she was like this eight-year-old child and then in her teenager time, what led Siham to this, yeah, to this time of confusion. So for me, for example, when everything happened to me a couple of years ago, like really the big thing
Plagg, the door slammed shut in my face. I really tried to solve the situation with the coping mechanisms. I knew, but it made things worse. So this really led to life-changing questions. It also led to zero self-belief and confidence. And you mentioned success. For me, I personalized myself with success. But when you personalize yourself with your success, you do the same with your failures.
Without success, without my work, Without external validation and recognition, I felt like nothing. I felt a nobody. And this comes from someone whose work was empowering people until they could say, I am somebody. So this was really so painful. The rejection was, I couldn't get a grasp on my life again. So I really had to put in a lot of work.
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Chapter 7: What is the importance of mental health in leadership?
after I realized that rock bottom can become fertile ground. And it became fertile ground for me. But I couldn't do this by myself. It was my support system. It was coaching. It was therapy. It was podcasts, books, going back to study, all these things, all these programs. I decided to use this rock bottom as a reset button. And yeah, I could just rebuild from the ground up. What are your values?
Politics led me far away from my core beliefs and values. So I could align back with my real values. I could rewrite my purpose, my ikigai. I could align them with what I was doing, with my action. And I could redefine success, health. So...
Chapter 8: How did Sihame redefine success and personal values?
Even though actually this period of struggling with my mental health changed my perspective on what it means to have a successful career and to be at our best in our health, at work, in our careers, in our relationships. And that personal journey became just this transformation to let go of a lot of things, to let go of control, to let go of my ego, the ego of my past success, I call it.
Do you really want to go back to the person you were, the situation you were in? No, embrace the privilege that maybe the fact that you can slow down can also has led me to realizing that I am somebody without accolades and achievements. So actually my mental health today is better than before. But before I didn't feel it because I was so busy in my head. I wasn't in my body.
So today it's really being aligned with your mind, body and soul. It's true. And I had to experience it in a very hard way. But this healing journey is amazing. It was an opportunity, is an opportunity to learn, to grow, to pivot. It's a journey to re-node purpose and direction. And today, you just understand that you need to build your mental health and...
the way you approach life and projects or work or whatever, relationships in a more sustainable way. And of course it took me a lot of time. It took me three years. And so that's why I said besides consulting, I love coaching because I don't think it has to take three years and you can do this alone. So I'm so privileged that during my mental health
journey like going from rock bottom to where i am today and how i approach life today is of course because i had an abundance of love and warmth and grateful to have the health the physical health as well and to be able to cope with this very dark period to where i am today full of light
So far, I've had two guests in season one, both women who are involved in politics. One is a parliamentarian in Singapore, and the other one was a lawyer in Paris before moving to Senegal to get involved in politics and government. Now, she's deeply involved in public administration. In their respective capacities, they've made great impacts in their communities.
I'd like to share a bit from their experiences. For example, the one in Singapore, my classmate from Chicago MBA, mentioned that the election period and its aftermath were the darkest times in her life. She didn't explicitly mention mental health, but she was attacked on social media for her age and so-called inexperience, being the youngest elected parliamentarian at that time.
I bring this up because you mentioned that politics is a negative sum game. While I can imagine the satisfaction of being in a position of influence and making an impact on the communities you care about, I can also see how political games could be a major source of mental health challenges. Can you share more about the challenges you faced? during that time.
And of course, without naming names, just the lessons you learned or specific incidents that led to struggles, perhaps even depression, I think that would be helpful.
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