Brandon Herrera
Appearances
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Whoa, Glock did my bad. Gaston, God rest his name, would never let that fly.
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you know, the perfectly acceptable gun, but let's just not pretend like that's not a prevalent issue.
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And you probably should. I've been to a Magic the Gathering tournament. You should. Mando comes in solid stick and spray deodorant that is aluminum free.
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Choose from a variety of fresh scents like bourbon leather, a.k.a. my father's hand.
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You can find them in Walmart, Target, and if you don't want to leave the comfort of your own home, which I imagine a lot of you Target audience don't, for the best deals you can go to shopmando.com.
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New customers get $5 off the starter pack with our exclusive code UNSUB.
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Did all of that like kind of come from the Lieutenant Dan role?
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Sarah! Hollywood stories. How many kids in that basement?
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he did say it was an air force base it reminds me of i don't know if you've ever brought this up in a video i know i think you have the deployable uh the deployable burger king yeah oh yeah america has a deployable burger king that can be anywhere in the world in 24 hours that's what we refer to as a tactical
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Europeans have to look at that and think that's the most American shit ever.
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They're like, well, Purple Hearts. To be fair, that's like World War II. They're like, man, so many people are getting shot. We need to change the criteria for Purple Hearts, because everybody would have one. They're like, dude, shot twice. It's like, well, you still got hurt. That still counts, I feel like. Yeah, exactly.
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That's what I hear.
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What do you mean? The studio can fuck up a good production?
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Also, I'm aware of how many Irish people I pissed off by saying that.
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For those who don't know, that was a dig.
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It's like thermobaric RPGs or whatever you guys are talking about. It was cool as shit.
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I still want you to tell your Fortnite.
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It's around the Civil War.
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it was uh i mean robert e lee i think was a colonel in the american military during that um the mexican-american war yeah it's it's just after the civil war isn't it it's just before oh just before yeah that's pretty good like late 40s early 50s i think so or something like that i'm going to find that dude's story i wonder if there's anybody like jesus o'neill down there or something like that patrick rodriguez mario o'brien
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Yeah, with the Delta logo. So 80% of the views are from China.
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If they were under the floorboard, you'd fucking know.
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Turns out expensive.
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I remember everybody was just like, it's not going to happen. It's not going to happen. Oh, Russia's going into Ukraine. It's not going to happen. We saw the headline. They're like, Russia just moved up a shitload of blood reserves to the Ukrainian border of like blood donation, like blood bags like that. And we're like, oh, yeah. That's, it's probably going to happen.
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I think it was like a couple of days after that.
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They're missing a hundred million dollars. They don't a hundred million dollars. It's also a crazy way of saying thank you. Yeah.
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government can accidentally give me 50 i'm like you know what thank you that is crazy it was during the biden administration at some point they said like oh yeah well we accidentally gave ukraine five billion more than we meant to it's like oh but you're not due to get it back or like i mean dude anyone who's dealt with the irs it's like you know you're like hey you guys it's like it
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Somebody that's had to actually run a business and make a profit for a couple of decades and know how to do it. That'd be cool.
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You guys are going to have no... What did you say? I didn't hear. So they're going to kick out Eli Duckworth for making Glock horse cum jokes at SHOT Show. But they'll allow like 80,000 Chinese nationals to show up and take pictures of all the new products from the American gun industry. Like you straight up will have... Chinese nationals all over the show floor. Like taking pictures.
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But whatever, what do we do with that? Canada or Mexico, Nick? That's the new me. Somebody replied to my fucking tweet about the tariff thing. I was just like, man, it feels like Trudeau is just doing as much fucking damage as he can before he leaves. Somebody's like, I don't want to be too harsh with my words here, but I just feel like...
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if we keep going this way with american canadian relations we won't be there when you need us And I'm just like, not that we haven't been on the same side on a bunch of stuff, but like, was he need is a strong word.
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just compare canada you know i feel like it's the same as the united states where like you have people in the the rural canadians are fucking dope oh yeah awesome yeah yeah awesome people that live in the fake world that is a big city yeah and they think they know how the world works it's like homie you live in a how he feels about canada is exactly the way i feel about california you know i grew up in california i was born and raised in california you know and
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There was one dude this year that had a 3D scanner.
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but it was we took cody's girlfriend to uh to la because we did like a movie premiere like i don't know six months ago or something like that and she thought we were kidding but it's like we were in la walking the street for maybe 10 minutes we're just like oh first human yeah oh yeah and she's just like Like, no, no, we weren't exaggerating.
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But it's fair to be angry when you live your whole life following the rules and then you see somebody brazenly break it with no consequences. Yeah. I mean, honestly, if they would have grabbed it and, like, did some effort running, I'd be like, okay, yeah.
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What's crazy is at the time, they had one security guard.
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We'll not go. It was 2020. Done. Infected with homeless. Well, I mean, during the Summer of Love, I remember a lot of that was based out of Portland. A lot of the people that were throwing...
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Because he can't legally evict her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like, oh, well, let's have fun with it.
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You know the cops thought it was hilarious. Oh, yeah. They would show up every day.
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It's the same thing on the southern border right now. Like, well, hopefully not anymore. A second ago. You just saw it all the time. Like, I talked to a lot of those dudes.
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It's weird, too, how much, like, you do not hear about it in mainstream news, but, like, the amount of people that you are for sure confirmed terrorists caught on the border.
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What exactly are you? I want to call you a slur.
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my image of the agency is like forever ruined by watching these just drunk agents I mean it was like 10 years ago you guys remember that video of the guy from the wedding reception the FBI did the backflip and his gun falls out oh yeah and then he goes to grab it and accidentally fires I forgot about that man yeah yeah I forgot about that he got in trouble all
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I don't know if you've looked at the duration of this podcast so far, but we got time.
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just so next year we can see the same pistol at the Holosun booth. Yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly.
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And then your name's working convention center executive.
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On Mars? No. Sort of.
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So basically... I didn't know if it was just, like, remotely piloted.
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So piloted.
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Well, so, yeah. It's the one that Nick made us tell last year, the story where we had some, like, Chinese YouTubers that came up to us at SHOT Show, and, like, they want to take a picture. And, like, as a joke, we're all, like, tipped as hell. So we go in for the photo, and, like, right as they're taking the picture, we go... Fuck communism.
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So not like the Curiosity.
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And the guy taking the photo goes deadpan and takes the SD card out of the camera.
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Dude. You guys are savage.
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Mars truck.
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But this year, the joke was, every time we'd see a group of Chinese nationals, like, I'm just fucking sick of it at this point. It's like, you guys are like, we're basically in a Cold War with China at this point, and we're just allowing their people to come in and take pictures of all our new shit. Like, that's... Come on. Are we trying...
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Redacted, redacted.
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I want to shoot the big gun.
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To be fair, I'd rather spend the money as a taxpayer making sure you can train with free ammo than $5 billion on a truck that gets knocked over.
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no the answer is no we would just we would just come up and like we see a group of them like walking by or like trying to take pictures of shit and we just lean in next to their camera and go cinnamon square What do we call them? West Taiwan.
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Oh, yeah, sorry.
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The vast majority of the friends or the people that I've met that have been part of those tier one units and stuff like that, there are some exceptions, don't get me wrong. Those are usually the most laid back, chill guys. They don't have a bunch of shit to prove.
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But it got so chill. Like, we hung out with him for the entire fucking day. Didn't know a damn thing. Like, obviously you could tell, like, from the look of the guy. It's like, okay, he's been there and done some shit, but like...
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Tell us what I know. Fucking Hollywood stories? Bro. How many kids in that basement? What? No way.
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Oh, burn. Once on Tom Cruise, he bought a $20,000 coat rack from Wayfair and got a coat rack.
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Those daddy parties were crazy, bro.
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The Disney version versus the original German fairy tale.
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I guess it's horse cum. Equine semen. Correct. What? Yeah. That's a full ass thing. What?
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That's genuinely very funny. He's the other beardy head guy.
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They legitimately like, you know, that's like a really higher tier thing in Europe where they're just like, oh, yeah, well, you've made millions and millions of dollars. I guess, obviously, you're going to get into the racehorse game. Interesting.
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I never saw it, frankly, but, like, we get it so much in public. Like, just like, oh, are you brothers? Or, like, oh, like, that sort of thing. Like, people at SHOT Show.
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brandon cody guy walks and says hey to cody like hey i appreciate you appreciate all you do in texas and blah blah and i like because he said like he shouted like brandon brandon and walked past me and i'm just like i just hang back this is hilarious he turns looks at brandon like
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So they legitimately have a fucking, like, equestrian section of Glock. That's not regular horse gum. That's weird. Guns and Cums.
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I mean, that's great. That's awesome. That's funny. And, like, Cody gives me the challenge coin. He's like, I believe he meant to give this to you.
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God, he must have felt like a f***ing asshole pretty much just like me. That's hilarious. It's funny to me. Like, we just f***ing leaned into it, man.
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Cody's gone a step farther. He just has started to accept it. Like when people, yeah. It's like, Oh, Hey Brandon. He's like, yes, I am. And we'll have a full conversation answering questions for me.
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He looks very Herrera-ish. The far more Aryan tattooed guy.
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We all, us three are having this conversation on the side. We're like, is she?
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So I ran for Congress.
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San Antonio to El Paso, that district. Awesome. So just big in like the two way politics and just like the conservative politics in general. Oh, cool.
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Yeah. Yeah. I never, never gotten into politics ever before. I ran against the incumbent here in.
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But he put it in a runoff. It was a, it's a district where it's like, it's a Republican district. Like a Republican is going to win in this district. But I, I primaried him. We passed the primary. So in Texas, it's a runoff state. So if you get below 50%, you're put into a special election with the people that came in first and second.
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So I forced him into a runoff election where he outspent me 10 to 1 to try to keep his job. And how much? We still were within 1%. About how much money was spent? I don't know, 12 million, roughly. Wow. To slander me in the town I live in.
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Oh, and some of them were so funny. Like, there was one where it's like, Brennan Herrera doesn't understand Texas because he's not blah, blah, blah. Like, a bunch of, like, crazy shit. But it ended the ad with some of the clips from my YouTube, like, years ago where I was doing a skit. And it's me wearing, like, the Coke dealer shades. Like... Woo! With, like, my face full of white powder.
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Like, they literally included that at the end of the ad.
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Are you serious? So the story about that, RFK had a website that he put up right after Trump won. It was Make America Healthy Again, but it was nominees for the people, where people could nominate their own, basically for people they thought would be good for certain cabinet positions. I had nothing to do with this.
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But somebody threw my name in for director of the ATF, Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives. It got more votes than any other single nominee on the entire website.
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Really? And it became a legitimate conversation for a minute.
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For a minute? The thing I said at SHOT Show, I've had to come up with a canned line. It's going to be a really funny story when I can tell it.
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I like it. That's fair. It's a weird thing. I'm sure you guys... That's fair.
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I mean, you know, it's like... I mean, you'd never have a director of the FAA who fucking hates airplanes. Yeah.
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So Steven Dettelbach just resigned. They don't have, so the ATF is a weird case where like at the last like two decades, there I think has been more time where there wasn't an actual confirmed director than the times that there was. So like it's been a lot of acting directors, but not a lot of actual like Senate confirmed directors.
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In my experience, and I think it's probably what you're getting at, it matters more where they're from. Because an ATF field agent from Hawaii or New Jersey is going to behave way different than one from Tennessee or Texas. Because all of my field agents, anybody I've ever had do my interviews or whatever, they've always been rad as fuck.
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Punishable by fine means legal for a fee.
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To justify their budget or whatever the fuck.
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And I hate that because of politics. You get the Janet Renos, the Bill Clinton administration, that sort of thing, where even with Waco, he could make the argument. It's like, yeah, we probably should have talked to this guy a while ago. But he even said it in the VHS tapes, like the David Koresh. He's like, I go jogging every morning. I have a good relationship with the sheriff.
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You could have talked to me at any point. Why did this become a siege where you have to fucking bake 20 kids alive?
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People don't know how crazy it was. People are shooting machine guns from a helicopter into a church.
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Oh, okay. Because I would have thought DEA. I didn't know ATF was involved.
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Because this would have been, what, mid-'80s? Yeah. Late-'80s by the time.
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Spoiler alert, I'm on season two.
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Every time you go to SHOT Show and there's a new Glock killer, it looks exactly like a Glock.
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Look it up! Some guy who signed his fucking guest name as CIA. He's like, John Smith agent. Oh.
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Congrats, you're half a century behind.
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I believe the mob helped him get elected. Oh, dude, I absolutely believe that.
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He's a real innovator here. Their collaboration with Isaac Newton.
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No, I don't know this. The only thing I know about the JFK assassination is that it didn't happen the way they said it did. There's like four theories that I'm like, oh, those... All kind of hold their own water a little bit, but, like, the official story is so bad.
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Well, no, they still have the, like, they mark it in the street. There's like a little, like, tape.
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So the book repository is still there? Yeah. and it's funny because they have a plaque there on it where like it's like a thing no matter how many times they replace it people still carve out with knives allegedly we're Lee Harvey Oswald allegedly it's like fucking yeah but yeah there's a lot of shit about that that's just kind of sideways
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The governor even was like, was throwing shade on the official story. He's like, that didn't happen that way. Oh, really?
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No, I heard one thing that I found out after I made my... That's your thumbnail right there.
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Fuck you watching karaoke. It's literally just like the meme of you look through the little porthole and it's cash the tell.
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God, I have so many questions. What a lot of people don't know is that it's illegal to import. I believe. I believe this is correct. It's illegal to import a pistol that doesn't at least have one safety or a certain amount of redundancies on the safety.
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Well, the 100,000 rounds means you have your neighbor's toilet paper.
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I say, guess who's king of toilet paper now, motherfucker? What am I going to eat in the apocalypse? Your food. Yep.
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201 - Two Fake Seals Spill Hollywood Secrets ft. Tyler Grey & AJ Buckley | Unsubscribe Podcast 201
You guys have the best stories.
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201 - Two Fake Seals Spill Hollywood Secrets ft. Tyler Grey & AJ Buckley | Unsubscribe Podcast 201
Ozempic Donut.
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201 - Two Fake Seals Spill Hollywood Secrets ft. Tyler Grey & AJ Buckley | Unsubscribe Podcast 201
weapon in combat or... That's why Sig is ahead of everybody in being innovators because you don't even have to pull them out. They're like, how do we one-up Glock?
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201 - Two Fake Seals Spill Hollywood Secrets ft. Tyler Grey & AJ Buckley | Unsubscribe Podcast 201
Eli saw the smirk and knew exactly where that was going.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
That sounds like Troxell.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
A lot of paperwork to get this case of White Claw here.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
I didn't mean to be rude. Would you like a white coat?
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
I'm so sorry. With that being said...
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
That bio is incredible, actually, now that I look at it. Hobbies are cycling, woodwork, fishing, and bourbon, and not necessarily in that order.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
100%.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
That sounds like a slur, you guys. A snow dart. Tell me it doesn't.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
We don't have grape.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Black cherry. You're getting bougie with the flavors already. Dude, if we got two a piece. No.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Now you're just sucking up. No, I'm serious.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Oh, man.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
I like that though, the identity matters. The Biden admin, I think, was actually really good about that as far as gender identity mattered.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Why do you go there? Hey, look. Soft pitches, man.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
It competes in ways that we didn't even know.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
It's so cold. Nick runs out of booze immediately. Nick runs out of booze immediately.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Fair enough.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Also, fun game, real quick. Take a shot at home every time you hear the word Pentagon. Starting now. You're already dead if you've tried it before.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Which brings us to today's ad. Shopify. I mean, we use Shopify on a daily basis.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
It's like your mom and your dad on their anniversary night. Not yours.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
They are home of the number one checkout on the planet.
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50%, just like the age of all of our factory workers are 50% the age they need to be to be legally employed in the United States.
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Sign up for your $1 per month trial period over at shopify.com slash unsubpod.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Shopify.com slash unsubpod. All lowercase.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Cody tries to kill the audience.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
I was like, how long have you been waiting for that?
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Yeah, I thought we were going to the Octagon. What have I been training for?
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Oh, shit.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
In what way would you say it's harder?
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Bring out our first guest to Who Wants to Get Demoted? Hello.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
I've got a funny story about Jericho, actually. We did that explosive training course. Jericho was there with us. Oh, yeah. And so we're doing, like, breaching shit. We're doing, like, C4 charges, like, C2, all that shit. And it's my first time playing. I've blown up a lot of shit, but I was never played with like serious putty before. So that was very cool.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
And he, we're doing this like breaching charge. It's maybe like, I don't know, four or five pounds of C4. And he has like, basically he's like, oh, we only have this much line. Yeah, this should be fine. Just be around this corner. Like, yeah, it should be good. Should be safe from the overpressure at that distance.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
set it off with the shock tube felt like i got smacked over the head with a wiffle ball bat just like oh fuck he was like oh yeah now that i see it that was probably a little close ah eat an avocado you'll be fine we're talking about the same jericho
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Why am I brain squishing? I forgot the second grade, but I've got an avocado.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Fantastic. My office was almost down the street.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
It's so much funnier watching the people behind the camera laugh while you guys have to lock in and pretend it's not funny.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
He's like, not a big fan of the slurs, not gonna lie. It's like, those gotta go. All the ones we call Eli.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Big fan of your work with the Bandit.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
It's crazy to be here and to see, like you were just saying, a lot of people that listen to the podcast and everything. How many people had come up to us while we were on our way here in the Pentagon that were like, we were at your Norfolk show? Yeah. Damn, we got a lot of feds in the audience. A lot.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Which we really appreciate the opportunity to even do this. It's just incredible. There's just so much history that's been made in this building. It's wild to have an opportunity to, and for us, this is historic for us, but just to see where all these decisions that have impacted the course of American history have taken place.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
You joined in the 90s.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Speaking of beating people in races, I'll be back. I wish I could take it. I'll take that, bro.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
95.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
I literally, just to prove a point, shit my pants.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
It's very bureaucratic.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
I would love to see what that paperwork looked like.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Me and Cody could probably clear that up on Twitter on X pretty quickly.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Actually, probably the dollar for dollar, the best 13 bucks the army ever spent.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
But now it's making it a light. I was just saying it's kind of funny because you liken it to the Coliseum in Gladiator. The first time, because everybody's just got a reverence for the building, obviously. But was it one of those things where in the beginning you're like, oh, fuck the Pentagon. And now you're like, oh, fuck the Pentagon.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Okay, so more like you know how to play the game now. It's like, okay, it's not so bad.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
I was expecting that football flag to come at any moment. I know.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
We joked earlier. If there's anything you don't want out here, just throw a little yellow football flag.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Well, thank you. We owe him an after work beer.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Pleasure to meet you.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Yes, sir. Oh, man.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Sorry I'm accidentally breaking this military-grade chair.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Yeah.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
You basically just get waterboard until you blackout.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
I was like, it's not even worth it anymore.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Eli's been trying to get us into a tunnel for like a year at least.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
It's easier to get me out of a plane than it is in a tunnel.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
I just know that Eli has this thing where he's really good at a lot of shit that none of us have ever tried. And so he likes looking like the expert while we flail around and get beat against the walls.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
It all started with him. Straight up. It all started from a Veterans Day episode when Eli tried to pin his purple heart on me and I'm like, get that stolen valor away from me. And so now it's been, the running joke is now it's forced valor. Yeah, yeah. Um...
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Sounds a lot better than the thick snow.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
So is that like DARPA kind of stuff, or what exactly does that entail?
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
So it's not really development, more just acquisitions?
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
So the real question is, who did you piss off here that landed you here at this table?
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
So at our live shows, the fans were all in on it. The great majority of our fan base, I think, either has been in the military or has some connection to the military. And so they just started bringing their medals and giving it to me at live shows. So now I've got an entire stack.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
We've decided unsubscribe is a punishment here. That's the story.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
We're happy to have you.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
I love that there's nothing new under the sun where you've got all this new technology where, you know, I'm sure you have, you know, jammers and all sorts of stuff. But we go right back to World War I where you have some farm boy from Arkansas that just says, parry this shit ass. Like 12 gates. 100%.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Play pigeon. I've accidentally been training for this since I was a little kid.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
uh but i don't know how much you probably can't delve into that at all um but i know i i some of the other uh platforms that were introduced uh as part of that program were just so weird like some of the general dynamics prototypes yeah were crazy yeah were they the ones with the um plastic cases yeah that was textron i think okay but i don't think they're like bullpups with like potato looking suppressors and all sorts of just really weird it was i
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
I mean, it's new stuff. It's interesting, at least to me.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Have you guys actually adopted the M250 yet? The light machine gun?
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Okay. I wasn't sure about that or the progress on that. Those were all interesting because they were pretty much the same. Largely, at least from what it looked like to me. A lot of the upgrades were very similar. Everybody was on a similar track. It looks neat.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
There was a couple different prototypes. One of them was actually quite a few of them were 338 normal mag, I believe.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
And then some of them were in that like 6.8 cartridge.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
I think. I could be talking out of my ass. He's the expert.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
With a 300 grain projectile.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
for you. Is that basically a cab for them?
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Oh no, this is a friend of mine.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Thank you for allowing us to do this.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
No comment on that. They are getting so nervous right now. Was this a bad idea? Why are you guys getting nervous?
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Is that a reference to the black bags over there?
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
We were joking. We said, if there's any way we can get a copy of that, we'll frame it in our studio forever.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Is that approval? We can get a copy of that?
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
So, I mean, it just sucks to see that like the army has so much cool shit like that, that they have for the purpose of posterity and, you know, keeping it for future generations. So people can see this stuff, but you know, not a lot of people can. And so I think it's cool to have opportunities like that to be able to show people like, hey, this is where we came from. This is what we did.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
That was half the museum. I was looking at that in the hallways. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Quite a few war trophies up there in the halls.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
That was the episode. By the way, there's only eight on the form, so if you'd like one.
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Every time it just blurs the name tag. That's a...
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Can you grab the mic closer to you? Yeah, sure. It's awesome to see the Army, too, adapting to the next generation of communications. Because really, there was a time when... Trying to adapt.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Because there was a time when radio and television were non-standard for communications and stuff like that for the Army. They all had to be adapted to eventually.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
not the joke okay i mean this sounds this so i i never served in any any regard i came from you know military family and everything he's so humble born in fort bragg um but oh so you you read my file we have a little card on you yeah like this yeah but the um uh one episode it was like the last veterans day yeah uh Eli tried to pin his purple heart on me.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
I'm like, get that stolen valor away from me. And it became a running joke within the audience. So they just kept making up more and more stuff. Every time we do live shows, they bring medals. We have a huge military audience. They bring medals out to live shows and everything. And so now if you ask ChatGPT or Grok or any of those, it's...
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
the joke is that this is the first time in american history you know everybody's seen stolen valor uh but nobody's seen forced valor before okay and it's hey maybe started with a joke maybe you know maybe you deserve it i don't know he has class a's they've made him class a's he has virtual
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
He's raised like hundreds of... This is like one of the only things that makes me uncomfortable.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
So that's a new thing rolling out?
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Unless you're in Canada, in which case it will be your Army. Yeah.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
I see that the family Cool Ass Nicknames has kind of been passed on.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Never mind, the retard showed up with microphones, and now I'm not. Yeah, we would get to play.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
It's so far from Mexico. You don't have good workers. That's what I was going to say.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
That's been my favorite part. My favorite part of the podcast is watching everybody behind the cameras laugh and whoever's sitting right here just lock in.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Yes, you've invented the complex geometric structure, a pile.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
That's what? Yeah. Yo, Sucralose, get over here. Good old Stevia Johnson. Yeah.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Listening to the people who use the equipment.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Eli, how much did that happen when you were in?
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
We got listened to quite a lot.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
like rolling out changes we're trying wild yeah i will say that when we had that that dinner uh over in austin that one night like with uh with general george i i didn't really know what to expect going in and just how the conversation was going to go but you know organizations like this especially anything with government in it you expect it to have like a good bit of bureaucracy and whatnot but
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
I was really, I found it a very pleasant surprise that he reminded me more of someone who spoke like a business person than a bureaucrat. And I was like, oh, thank God. And he's been an awesome contact and I'm really enjoying seeing what he's doing.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
But you used to play in a diamond, though.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
That was awesome. But yeah, and hearing him and some of the stuff he was talking about with how they're changing acquisitions in general. So why are we buying something for 15 years? I don't know how much I can talk about, but like, why are we buying things now that are designed now that will be implemented in 15 years when in 15 years they'll be obsolete?
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Because you have so much in Congress, like not to get on that soapbox, but you have so many people that are basically making decisions for America's warfighters based on, well, I need 200 jobs in Idaho. When it's like, okay, I thought we just need to build the best equipment we possibly fucking can so our people can get really good at killing people. That's what I thought we were doing.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
But a lot of congressmen are like, well, I promised 30 steel jobs here and this, this, that. And so they're making decisions that aren't in the best interest of the army.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
I hear him say stuff like that, and I think the same thing I hear during the Doge stuff. I'm just like, whoo-hoo, like the giddy Ron Swanson. Like, oh, yeah, let's just tear it all down.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Yes. Did we? Yeah. Oh, my God.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Everybody except me, apparently. You know. They're like, we're not giving this guy a lot of heat.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Yes.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Can we go home?
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
And here comes J.D. Vance with a steel chair.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
The 250th anniversary of the Army brought to you by Raytheon. Lockheed Martin. I think we're $20 trillion in debt to be second?
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
I think I might have to actually take that haircut.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Clip it. This is the next. Why did I agree to this, man?
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
We're going to need the second exception form for that commentation.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile and wonder, how did I get here?
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Says the PR guy.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
I really don't want that. Yeah.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
I didn't do anything to earn any of this stuff. I'm in front of them.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Yeah, super excited for all you guys, and then there's the liability.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
That's pretty cool.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Yeah, but I do that by drinking and joking around. That hardly feels like the same thing.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
What was the justification?
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
And you know what? I don't need a medal for it.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
It's a privilege to do it.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Which is kind of funny. You joke around, but at the same time, we have this facade of we're just four idiots, which don't get me wrong, we are. But we put such a heavy emphasis on mental health. Individuals who are in the military, have been out of the military, giving them support, raising money for the autism charities, the veteran groups and stuff like that.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Don't get me wrong, we're all just palling around having a good time, but we really do have a heavy focus on real stuff. I think that kind of is what sets that apart.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
It was last Veterans Day. This whole joke fucking started, and I didn't think it would culminate to the Pentagon, Eli.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Or it was carbon dioxide, and it was like sometimes the tunnel just gets closer and closer and closer, and then somebody picks you up out of the water.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Fort Drum and Key West.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
You guys are way too fucking excited.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Yeah, yeah. I'm going to go home. I thought you were the one that was going to be uncomfortable at this table.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Yeah, not at all. My hell, the turntables. Fuck.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Again, not even a joke I made.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
Yeah, we were like a couple episodes ago. It's like, oh, it feels like a couple episodes ago. We're just doing random like local stand-up comedian friends of ours. And now we're in the Pentagon.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
We normally don't get to film in cool places like this.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
It's normally just a house.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
It's like a frat house, essentially.
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
You ever wake up and feel like you slept in a sauna? Yeah, I believe that's called night sweats. Means you got a trash mattress, Brandon. Why are we talking like Macho Man Randy Savage?
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202 - What REALLY Happens At The Pentagon? Our TOP Secret Mission | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 202
That's ghostbed.com slash unsubscribe.