We Can Do Hard Things
Julia Louis-Dreyfus: Why We All Lie & How Honest Can We Be? (Best Of)
Sat, 12 Apr 2025
Julia Louis-Dreyfus joins us to dive deep into: going to therapy with her 87-year-old mom, how to love adult kids well, the metaphor that got her through breast cancer, and why we should all be excited about getting older. About Julia: Julia Louis-Dreyfus is one of Hollywood’s most influential, iconic actors and producers. She starred in and executive produced HBO’s hit series Veep, she was Elaine Benes in Seinfeld and Christine Campbell in The New Adventures of Old Christine. She has received 11 Emmys with 26 nominations; she broke records for the most Emmys won. She was recently honored with the White House’s National Medal of Arts, the highest award given to artists who advance the arts in the United States. On April 11, she released her new podcast, “Wiser Than Me,” a 10-part series of candid, witty conversations with women over 70. And her fantastic new film You Hurt My Feelings is being released in May. TW: @OfficialJLD IG: @officialjld To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: Who is Julia Louis-Dreyfus?
Welcome to We Can Do Hard Things. I can't even, I'm just going to jump right into this. We have a treat and a half for you today. Because today joining us on the pod is Julia Louis-Dreyfus. We all know her as one of Hollywood's most influential, iconic actors and producers. She starred and executive produced HBO's hit series Veep.
She was Elaine Bennis in Seinfeld and Christine Campbell in The New Adventures of Old Christine. She has won 11 Emmys with 26 nominations, breaking records for the most Emmys ever won. She was recently honored with the White House's National Medal of Arts. That was so beautiful to see. The highest award given to artists who advance the arts in the United States. Good job advancing the arts.
Thank you. That was my intention. Yes. Yes. Yeah. And it's so hard to tell who's advancing it. So it's good to know. So thank you. Thank you. She just released her new podcast, Wiser Than Me, a 10-part series of candid, witty conversations with women over 70.
I cannot wait for this. It's so good. We got to listen to two secret episodes. Yes, we did. So good.
And her fantastic new film, You Hurt My Feelings, which I just, we're going to talk about that later because now I'm rethinking the ways that I parent and it's just really done a number on me to tell you the damn truth, is being released in May. Thank you for being here.
Thank you for having me and for that lovely introduction. Thank you so much. What a treat to be on your groovy, fabulous, successful podcast.
Okay. So our new t-shirts that we're going to wear around the house are going to say groovy, successful.
That is a good thing for a t-shirt. Groovy and successful.
Because you can be successful and decidedly not groovy.
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Chapter 2: What is the significance of therapy in family relationships?
I just think it's beautiful to normalize the idea of the review. Of the actually being open to later with your adult children saying, you tell me your perspective, I'll tell you my perspective. Yes. It's a really beautiful, we should see more of that couples therapy.
Yeah. Yes, absolutely. It's not just married people that should go into couples therapy. It's, you know, siblings. It's a great resource if one has access to it. And I also think that as a working mother, because I was really working when I gave birth to both of my kids. And, and I mean, I was worked my whole life. So I really had a career in addition to being a mom.
And that was always a struggle for me. And I think that like, if I were to talk to my kids about that, I think honestly, I would be in fear of them saying, you weren't there enough for me or something, you know, because it was this balancing act that was just completely impossible. Yeah. to tell you the truth. There was no, it was just impossible. It's impossible. It's impossible.
Looking for smart conversations, hilarious stories, and a little hope for your middle years? Then you'll love For the Love with Jen Hatmaker. Each week, my dear friend Amy and I dive into real talk about life, relationships, parenting, and frankly, the absurdity of being human. It's honest, it's funny, and exactly what you need. Follow and listen to For the Love wherever you get your podcasts.
You were the one to walk your dad home at the end of life. And you've talked movingly about how hard it was to lose him. And you've also been very open about how he was a narcissist and extremely hard on you. And I was reading about how after your first appearance on SNL, he called you to read a bad review.
He didn't read me a bad review, but he himself, he was not impressed with my performance. Oh, he gave you a bad review.
He gave you a bad review.
He has written you a bad review. Yeah. And, you know, looking back on it, I'm sure he was right, but it wasn't delivered kindly or thoughtfully. And also he was right. So there you go.
First of all, do you have that? Is that a voice in your head? Like that voice telling you that you aren't good enough, is that a voice that gets stuck in your head and is that the voice you're speaking back to all the time?
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Chapter 3: How can humor empower women?
But, so I am a mother memoirist, okay? I am inseparable from my sister. I am obsessed a little bit unhealthily with my 20-year-old writer son who sends me his stuff. PodSquad, what I'm explaining to you right now is the fucking plot of this movie. Okay. Okay. This person in this movie also has a voice inside of her head that maybe tells her that she's not good enough.
So she's constantly do gooding and trying to write better and better things so that the world will tell her she's, and then she's trying to undo the voice in her head from her father with her partner, getting her partner's approval. And then she, at some points figures out that while she's, desperate for her husband to tell her the truth. We don't want to give this whole thing away. Maybe is not.
No, it's all right.
Okay. Okay.
I just want to make sure that maybe she hasn't been telling the truth. I'm just talking about me. Yeah. That maybe she has.
Is it Glennon's plot? Is it your plot? One can't know.
Totally telling the truth to her son. I actually didn't know which part of this to ask you about. But one time my friend Jen said to me, Glennon, my whole life, My parents have been telling me that I am excellent. And it took me my 20s, 30s, and 40s to finally understand that I am medium.
Can we just talk about one string of the movie, which seems to be that we keep telling our kids that they're amazing and excellent and the best at things. Because we think that's love. And then they spend the rest of their lives... Talking about... Feeling like failures.
Talk about bad mothering, right? Yeah, feeling like failures when they don't quite live up to those accolades, as it were.
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