The Mel Robbins Podcast
How To Handle Difficult People & Take Back Your Peace and Power
Thu, 27 Feb 2025
Today, you are getting research-backed strategies for handling difficult people. In this episode, you will dive deep into how to respond to disrespect, gaslighting, and exactly what to say when someone tries to brush off their behavior with, “I was just joking.” You and Mel are both learning from trial lawyer Jefferson Fisher, who is known for his straightforward advice, tips, and tricks on how to communicate better. Jefferson is here to teach you exactly what to say (and what not to say) when you're dealing with a difficult person: If you’re tired of being talked over, dismissed, or made to feel less than, it’s time to learn the techniques that will help you walk into any conversation with confidence—and walk away with your power intact. You’ll learn how to:Stand up for yourself without being unlikable.Handle disrespect without losing your cool.Stop arguments before they start.Set boundaries without feeling guiltyReclaim your confidence in secondsHandle fake apologies and toxic conversations like a proAfter today, you’ll have the exact tools to protect your peace, reclaim your confidence, and navigate any difficult conversation with ease. For more resources, click here for the podcast episode page. If you enjoyed this episode, and want to know more about how to protect your energy and happiness, listen to this one next: The 7-Day Reset for More Time, Energy & Happiness (Backed by Science)Listen to Jefferson’s first appearance on The Mel Robbins Podcast here: Communicate with Confidence: The Blueprint for Mastering Every ConversationConnect with Mel: Get Mel’s #1 bestselling book, The Let Them TheoryWatch the episodes on YouTubeFollow Mel on Instagram The Mel Robbins Podcast InstagramMel's TikTok Sign up for Mel’s personal letter Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to ad-free new episodes Disclaimer
Chapter 1: How can you identify and respond to subtle belittlement?
Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. Have you ever walked away from a conversation or a meeting at work and felt smaller? Like somehow after the conversation, you realize, wow, my confidence just got chipped away a little. And as you think about what just happened, Maybe you realize someone interrupted you or corrected you or dismissed what you had to say.
You know, there's this one person in my life who literally rolls their eyes as I'm talking and they think that I can't see it, but I can see you at the end of the table rolling your eyes as I'm trying to say something. Or have you ever gotten one of those apologies where someone was like, I'm sorry, that's how you feel. And you think, wait a minute, was that actually an apology?
No, that wasn't an apology. That was belittlement. And today, trial lawyer Jefferson Fisher is here in our Boston studios, and you and I are going to dive deep into how to respond to disrespect, to gaslighting, and exactly what to do when someone says, I was just joking. One takeaway at a time.
You're not only going to learn exactly what to say, but also how your words or using silence help you reclaim your confidence, your voice, and stand your ground. Hey, it's Mel. I am so excited that you're here. It is always such an honor to spend time with you and to be together. And if you're brand new, welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast family.
I also want to take a moment and acknowledge you for taking time to listen to something that could truly help you live a better life. And I love what you and I are going to be talking about on today's episode, because we're going to get to spend some time today with the incredible trial lawyer, Jefferson Fisher.
I wouldn't be surprised if you've actually seen him online because every single day, millions of people watch the videos that Jefferson makes from the front seat of his car in between his court cases and meetings with his clients. Jefferson's strategies for handling belittlement, gaslighting, fake apologies, toxic behavior, and difficult conversations are game changers. Boom. He is so good.
I'm so excited. So let's get into it. Jefferson Fisher, I am so thrilled you're back on the Mel Robbins podcast.
Thank you for having me.
And congratulations on your new book, The Next Conversation, Argue Less, Talk More.
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Chapter 2: What are Jefferson Fisher's strategies for handling difficult people?
She said, without hesitation, he said to me, I could have done better too. She said, in our 18 years of marriage, he's never said that to me. There's little phrases that you can find to deescalate that. That's true power that you can have in a relationship. In terms of the ripple effect that they're true, you have a power to affect people you will never, ever meet.
And it's a wild thought, but it's true. I had somebody email me, this is probably two months ago, who said, I am somebody who helps with couples foster homes. And these parents were arguing, and I used one of your tips on how to communicate with them to get them to stop arguing and agree on something that will forever change their kids' lives. I'll never meet these kids. They'll never know me.
they will probably never know the guy who helped them and emailed me. But it's just little things of what you say today will truly change the future of other people you'll never, ever meet. People who have autism who can now make friends just by how you say certain things and how they can communicate. Everything about you can be compressed into what you say next, and it's a beautiful thing.
What was the phrase that... you are hearing that has someone with autism communicate better?
They weren't sure exactly how to talk to their friends. They were always afraid that they were always left out of it. And so it was this mindset that I tell them is you just weren't supposed to be there and that's okay. You weren't supposed to be there. And that mindset, this father told me, helped his son understand if he wasn't invited, just meant he wasn't supposed to be there.
And that he found different ways of going, well, this is where I need to be. And finding people who wanted to spend time with him, but he was feeling really hurt that he wasn't getting invited to that party or that thing. And so it's this mindset of that happens. It's okay. You just, you weren't meant to be there. You're meant to be somewhere else.
And that made them feel that he could make time for friends who cared.
That's beautiful. Yeah. Really beautiful. Yeah. So what was the phrase that helped the parents stop arguing in the foster situation?
Is this something we have to agree on? So a tip that I use is, is this something we have to agree on? Usually it's not. That stops arguments. It doesn't matter what the topic is. If you need to, you find that you're yanging over the small stuff, the little things, that often leads to the biggest arguments. You're getting these big arguments that go, what are we even, how did this even start?
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