Bryan Callen is an actor, comedian, and podcaster. He's the co-host of the podcasts "The Fighter and the Kid" and "Conspiracy Social Club," and host of "The Bryan Callen Show." www.bryancallen.com This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Get working on a better you with therapy. Visit BetterHelp.com/JRE today to get 10% off your first month. Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using dkng.co/rogan or through my promo code ROGAN. GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, (800) 327-5050 or visit gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit ccpg.org (CT) or visit www.mdgamblinghelp.org (MD).21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min. $5 bet. Max. $200 issued as non-withdrawable Bonus Bets that expire in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: dkng.co/dk-offer-terms. Ends 2/9/25 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
The Joe Rogan Experience.
Showing by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.
My wife, I smoked one of these and I didn't brush my teeth. I woke up the next morning and my wife said, your breath is four dimensional.
You didn't brush your teeth before you went to bed and you smoked a cigar?
Of course I didn't brush my teeth before I went to bed. Give a fuck. You know what I mean? You're married. You're married. She was like, I love you so much. Your breath is four dimensional. You know, these fires.
I have two small children now because what I want to do is what you want to do is you want to get divorced and then you want to have get married again to a woman who's 23 years younger and then have two more kids because that's good.
Definitely takes a lot of financial stress off your back.
Oh, dude, there's no financial stress at all. It's great. You know what? If I hustle until I'm 80, I'll be fine. Anyway. Oof. It's going to be really awkward when I call you at 75. I just need help this month. But anyway, so I fucking – I look at her and I go – she's like a girl from Jersey, like Irish-Italian chick, no nonsense. Been working since she was 16.
And I go – we had an evacuation order that they sent out by accident to people even down where I'm at. Yeah, what was that? It was some guy who –
fucked up because i don't know if you know this is gonna be this is gonna be shocking grab the table la's not run very well hold on i know hold on what the fuck you're saying because see here's the thing we have to worry about i know isn't the chief of fire department a lesbian now hold on let's not turn this into listen here's the bottom it's run amazing it's not about infrastructure infrastructure i won't sit here while you disparage the great people sir that are running los angeles sir infrastructure's got to take a backseat to climate change and social justice and homeless abatement which hasn't
See the lady who's responsible for filling the fire hydrants gets paid $750,000 a year. Hey, your tax dollars going to good work there, everybody. That's a lot of money.
You think? That's sitcom money.
You think? That's like I'm the star of a sitcom. Oh, dude. It's star, but like you're the third person on a sitcom.
No, that's a high wage, sir. 750 grand for a city employer who's- For someone just like, fill that one. How the- How are the aquifers today? Get the water in that one. You know what? We got to protect the Delta smelt, whatever the fuck that is.
Trump was talking about that on the podcast. On the podcast I did with him, Trump was going on this long rampage about Los Angeles and the fires and how it all can be prevented and they could have plenty of water. He explained the whole thing and he's right.
Here's my whole philosophy. You guys know, you know that we have a Tinder box. You can say there are a lot of people that live there. The fires are always a potential. If that's the case, then please make sure the fire hydrants... We've got to be able to figure it out. California came up with AI. Silicon Valley was pretty innovative people.
Let's figure out a way to keep the fucking... Very different people.
They are very different people, sir. That's like saying people in America... are homeless and also Elon Musk. Right. You know what I'm saying?
Well, get some people down in government who are innovative like that. What the fuck are we doing? I don't want to do that job. Do you know the city council of Los Angeles? Four of the members of the city council are far left social Democrats. How about that? There's zero pushback on ideas. It's just all ideology.
Yeah, it's all an echo chamber. Well, I'm hoping now that this is a giant wake-up call for these people. I mean, there's no positivity that's going to come out of a horrific fire like that. But at least it'll wake – because look, that area – Adam Carolla was on someone's show talking about this and he said something that's like very – I think he was actually doing it himself.
Yeah.
About permits? Yeah. Yeah. Well, he was just saying that there's – 80% of the people that live there are far left. 80% of the people that got their houses burned down from complete total incompetence and a lack of management. Total incompetence. 80% of those people are far left people. And that's a giant wake up call when you realize, no, these fucking people, this is not the way to do it.
Did you see that lady, the fire lady who's a part of this whole diversity thing? They said, you're a woman firefighter. Can you carry my husband out of a burning building? She was like, well, if your husband's in a burning building, he already made a mistake. She's a big old sassy fat black lady.
My favorite was that one of the women said, you want people to look like you.
Same lady.
And I'm like, hey, listen, hey, lady, when my house is on fire and I'm trying to get my kids out, I'm not going to be like, hey, can I get some people that look like me? Because this doesn't make me feel safe.
I want them to look like Brian Shaw. I want them to be covered through the fucking wall looking like Juggernaut.
They can be white as the driven snow. If they look like a white walker and they can get me out of that fucking fire, I'm in. I want Brian Shaw.
I want him to be a giant dude who can carry people.
With a mustache that goes like this.
Yeah, a fucking handlebar. I love firemen.
I'm so gay that when I saw they came by, I saw some firemen, and I didn't know what to do. I wanted to say something like, go get them, guys, or something like that. And I literally went like this. I went – I saluted them.
I went – That's good. It's a little embarrassing. It's an acknowledgement.
Yeah, but my wife is so funny because my wife is very handy, and I said – And we had an evacuation where I looked at her and I go, I got to go do Joe's podcast and then shoot my special at the mothership. But I feel guilty about leaving you here. And she goes, what are you going to do? You can't change a tire. I got this.
All right. See you later. Yeah, I don't know. I would have felt weird about leaving them too, even though you're in a safe space.
I'm in an area where I'm good.
Yeah, you're good for now. This is the thing about L.A. that there's a viral clip that's going around now of a conversation that I had with Sam Morrell a while back. And we were talking about when I was on Fear Factor how this fireman told me that this was going to happen one day. He said it's just a matter of time. With the right wind, he's like, we won't be able to stop it.
Now that's gone viral. And then the Trump thing went viral too. Because Trump was saying that they need to do something to change this. They need to clean up the forest. Get rid of all the dead wood. Yeah. All these things could be done. Get rid of all the brush. Get rid of all the dead wood. Open up that fucking water from the north to come down.
This idea that... Do you know that the whole center of California used to be a lake? No. A giant lake? No. Bro... I found out about it about a year ago. Really? It's crazy. Young Jamie, wait till you see how big this fucking lake was. And all of it, all of it is all meddling and fucking around by humans.
Did I ever tell you the conversation I had with Arnold Schwarzenegger? I was with John Leguizamo.
Did he say, screw your freedom? No, he didn't say. Screw your freedom.
This was before that. I was doing that movie.
Screw your freedom.
Screw your freedom.
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So I'm with John Leguizamo. We were doing that movie Ride Along. And John goes, hey, stick around. We'll have some dinner with a friend of mine that's coming by. I didn't know who it was. Arnold shows up with his assistant. It's kind of cool. And I'm a fan.
So we're sitting there and I just read a book on California politics by Michael Lewis called Boomerang about sort of like how a lot of the towns like Stockton went broke because of the pension plans and all that shit. Blah, blah, blah.
I thought it was the Diaz brothers running around slapping people.
It is that too, dude. It is that too. It's that too.
Did you find that lake?
Yeah, I was waiting for it.
What?
Largest freshwater lake west of the Mississippi.
Largest freshwater lake west of the Mississippi. What? It used to be fucking huge. Show a photo of what it used to look like. So it was all agriculture. They fucked it up.
Oh, because they drained it, right?
Look at the size of it.
What the fuck? Look how big it was. What in the world?
Look how fucking big that is.
And now it's just gone.
Gone. Apparently it's refilling.
Well, I guess we needed it to grow all the oranges, right?
Shut the fuck up.
I mean, you know.
We needed it for almonds. For the Owens Valley? So I need the almond milk. There's one amazing photograph of this guy who was squirting almond milk on the fire outside of his house because that's all he had. Is that true? He had two quarts of almond milk. It was like this soy man, this literal human water balloon.
Oh, look at that. God bless him. God bless him. Dude, that's when you're really trying.
That's when you're trying.
With his COVID mask on. That's just a last stand, bro. That's a last stand.
No, you should have been out. You got to get out of there. You got to accept. I've been evacuated three times. Have you really? Yeah, when I lived in Belkanian. I got evacuated three times. You know, it burnt two houses in front in 2018. Two houses in front of my old house were burnt to the ground.
Well, that video I showed you of my friend's house that just disappeared. And then you remember I sent you that video of him driving down the PCH. Those guys are coming to my house because where I'm at is the only place that's where the air is breathable and all that. Well, we have a barrier between the 405 and also the airport. So it's really we're pretty safe.
Yeah, pretty safe. The thing about, I mean, this is from someone who's been through it a few times. You don't understand. You think it's just a fire. It's not. It's a storm.
Yeah.
So I saw fire tornadoes. You did? Yeah. I saw fire tornadoes. It's terrifying. When we were filming, we were filming on Fear Factor, and ironically, this was the same time where this fireman was explaining to me what's going to happen in L.A. We were filming Fear Factor, and when we were driving back, the entire ride, I watched the guy die. What?
I watched the guy run across the highway and get hit by a car. What the fuck? Yeah, I didn't see him get hit by a car, but I saw him. Jesus Christ. He was, and my producer, the producer of the show, apparently saw more. He saw, like, graphic, you know. People were panicking. There was ash falling from the sky like it was snowing. It was crazy.
And everyone's driving and no one, everyone's got this like somber, like 50 mile an hour driving the entire right side of the highway for an hour. What? And you can feel that heat, right? Yeah, we were filming off the 5. So we were like way up by, you know, like as your head goes, Bakersfield. Oh, yeah. Bakersfield, like that area. It was off the 5 or the 10. Whatever the fuck it is.
We were pretty far away, and it was a whole hour driving back where the whole right side of the highway was in flames. I mean, completely engulfed like a Lord of the Rings movie where you're waiting for Sauron to come riding on an evil horse over the top of it. It was nuts. It was fucking nuts. And you would see fire tornadoes, man. The fire was fucking insane.
There's nothing you can do.
And it's flying through the air, so you're worried your car's going to catch fire. One of the things that happens is... People get stuck on highways, cars catch fire, and the fire and the winds just roll through the whole highway and everybody burns alive inside their cars. What? Yeah, that happened at, what is it, the camp, park camp? What was the big fire? Oh, that's right.
In Northern California. A ton of people died in their cars. Horrifying. Horrifying.
You know, I got to tell you, the crazy thing about the Pacific Palisades was that eight years ago, probably eight, maybe almost nine years ago, I looked at houses there with my ex-wife. And we came so close to buying a house because it's such a beautiful place. We didn't buy it because it was a little too expensive, to be honest with you. It was just a little out of our price point.
But even for a smaller house, it was expensive, right? But it's beautiful.
It's a pricey area, but it's gorgeous.
The last thing you would ever think, the last thing is...
that that house would burn down or there was a fire hazard especially down like where Gelson's was or the whole town that dude when I'm saying the town is gone you know the only structure that's standing is that guy Caruso that mayor the guy who ran for mayor narrowly lost to Karen Bass he built that mall out of fire retardant material and that's the only structures that pretty much downtown that are in the town of Pacific Palisades Frank Grillo our buddy his old house burned right to the ground just done
Yeah, Segura's house burnt to the ground.
Everybody's.
Didn't Mel Gibson's? Yeah, Mel Gibson's burnt to the ground, too. Look at that, dude. Look at that. It's insane.
Nobody in a million years. I'm telling you.
When you bought a house there, nobody said anything about fire. No one. And by the way, fire insurance in L.A. Look at that one house. Perfect. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, that's crazy. What's that made out of?
I don't know. The wind blew a different direction or something.
I don't know, man. That's crazy. I think it's got to be what the house is made of because that wind's blowing everywhere.
No, I don't think any house withstands that kind of fire.
Are you sure? Yeah. How do you know? Are you a builder?
I am.
You're not a builder. That's Brian Callen. Nah. I don't believe anything can stand on fire. Can't you make a house out of all concrete?
It doesn't matter. How's that one house?
Look at that one house. That guy should play the fucking lotto, son.
No, that's wind. Look at that, though.
But here's the thing. Look at that. You don't want to live there now. If you're that house on the corner and everything you look at as devastation- The schools are gone. Right. Right. The schools are gone.
But here's my other thing. Here's the question I have. Okay, so you see that, right? Now- Who is going to rebuild there and who's going to finance it? And then what kind of insurance are you going to be able to get? So are you going to get insurance? Is a bank going to finance that? Would you want to rebuild there when you have to wait for a gas station for a grocery store? There's nothing there.
Right. So to me, I don't know what happens to that very valuable property.
I don't know what happens to the entire city now because people are looting like fucking crazy. Gigantic groups of 100 men organized are pulling into neighborhoods that are being evacuated, smashing through doors and pulling out TVs. There's film footage of them. There's also a bunch of people that have been caught setting fires.
I think they should be put to death.
One guy got caught setting fires and he had a UN debit card. What? And he had a bunch. I'll send it to Jamie. The guy that got arrested for, I'll tell you which fire it was, but he got arrested. He had a UN card. I'll tell you exactly. I don't want to fuck this up.
This kind of tragedy brings out the best in people and the worst in people. The one thing it does in these communities, it brings all these people together. My buddy started to cry because I was on the phone with him. He lost everything, right? And they're going to come stay with us. And he said, when I was on the phone, these people dropped by and dropped off clothes for them.
And he's got a lot of money. And he started to cry, man. He was like, I can't tell you how many people have reached out.
He had five cell phones and a United Nations prepaid debit card.
I'm skeptical. Of course you are. Is this conspiracy?
You're always skeptical. Is this conspiracy? You son of a bitch.
I just don't want to be played.
No. I think the New York Post did a thing about it.
You know what I mean, though? I don't want to be played. I don't know what's true anymore.
Maybe the New York Post didn't post that he had the debit card. Yeah. I don't know what's true anymore. I'm getting this from the Texas Patriot Twitter account.
You see? I told you. I'm already like, I don't know.
They said that the New York Post has edited the info out of their article. Thank you. Why? Because it's not true? Spreading rumors, Joe Rogan. The Patriot account said that.
Oh, so the... You got played. Maybe not. Maybe the New York Post are a bunch of pussies and a bunch of libtards.
The New York Post is very conservative.
They are kind of, yeah.
But I got to tell you, I do think this is how there's a sea change here. You got to have people with opposing points of view that are pro-business, et cetera. You have just all progressives in Sacramento and if you've got on the city council. But you know what? Until Angelenos wake up and start voting for intelligent people- Who are not, forget right or left.
How about practical people who understand infrastructure?
Like Rick Caruso.
Yeah.
Yeah, like that guy.
Because the roads, I lived there, man. The roads, the fucking power line, it's all from 1950s, okay? So let's wake the fuck up.
And it's all above ground, by the way. Correct. Which is a real problem when the winds start blowing like that. Correct. Which is what happened in Maui as well. Yeah. If you don't believe in direct energy weapons.
Yes, I forgot about those from space. I wonder who's controlling those.
No, no, no. They're in Antarctica. Antarctica. Yeah, the Rothschilds. It's a cabal of Jews.
Yes, the invisible circle of Jews. Every conspiracy theory always goes right back to that. I'm just saying.
Yeah. But, you know, the Mossad and the IDF and, like, the influence on politics is pretty well established. Like there's both things. It's like, no, it's not that the Jews aren't the problem in the whole world. No. And when everything goes sideways, people always do start blaming the Jews. Did we ever figure out who said that to us? Was it Jordan? Was it Jordan who started talking?
Or was it Gad Saad who started talking about it's one of the marks of a collapsing society when they start blaming everything on the Jews?
They blame the Black Plague on them. They're like, you guys cover your wells. My thing about that is whenever people go bad on the Jews, I'm always like, yeah. Do you like Hollywood? They invented that.
Yeah. And improv. And monotheism. Maybe that's not good.
And stainless steel.
And virtual reality. Yes, and virtual reality. Listen, they have more. Eastern European Jews have more Nobel Prizes than I think any other ethnic group.
They're incredible. Nobody wants to.
Incredible group of humans.
Let's just talk about art and everything else. Einstein, Freud.
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It goes on and on. How many comics?
Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. Some of the funniest people of all time. One of the greatest of all time, Lenny Bruce. Thank you. That groundbreaker. The literal starter of this whole thing. Groundbreakers. Yeah. So I always say that. You're going to have very innovative people.
Also, probably funding Epstein, but also probably running a gigantic blackmail ring where they have control over all the politicians in the country.
I might be doing that, too, if my survival depended on it.
Especially if you're smart. And you're really good at chess. You're like, I know what to do. These guys like to fuck.
Let's set them up. Let's set them up. Have we ever, has there been any, what is with the list? Here's my theory on the Jeffrey Epstein thing. See what you think.
Oh, I'd love to hear this.
I think that the people are so powerful that I know in certain cases the lawyers go to the lawyers of these powerful people. And they go, how you doing? Now. Now. We got some evidence that your client, who's a family man and everything else, was banging girls on Jeffrey's Island.
Getting pissed on. Yeah, whatever it is, bro. Getting his nuts put in a cinch. Sure. Little kids are shitting in his mouth.
Sure. Hey, dude. Hold on. What kind of podcast is this?
They're doing drugs. They're taking wild chances.
As I put this shit cigar in my mouth.
These are good cigars, right? Delicious. Shout out to Foundation Cigars.
Yeah, it's great. But I think what happened was there was a lot of money and every one of those fucking people got paid off. I think it just went away because there's money. They came to these really rich people and they were like, What's your privacy worth? What's your reputation worth? How about $10 million?
How about $20? Well, this is the whole suspicion as to why the guy who was the CEO of Victoria's Secrets gave Jeffrey Epstein a fucking $60 million mansion in Manhattan. And controlled his whole estate. Yeah. And then there was the other guy who was some big CEO who gave him $150 million and had to resign.
A bunch of these guys resigned, money got passed around, and unbelievably, the client list has not been released.
I know.
I mean, it's been years.
He was very good at laundering money, I guess.
Was he? Even though I don't know what he really did. You know, the person do I trust about those things is Eric Weinstein. Another Jew. Another brilliant Jew. I love Eric. One of my favorite people. He's amazing. But when I talked to him about it, he actually met Jeffrey Epstein. And he said, and Eric is just way too smart. You know, he's not a guy that you can fool.
Right. He was like, this is a construct.
Right away. That's what he said. He said, this guy's a construct. He said that he had a woman, like a 21-year-old girl that was sitting on his lap, and he kept kind of like nudging his knee up and down to make her tits bounce a little bit. He kept doing that while he was talking to him. He's like, what is this?
And he's like, also, this guy does not know what he's talking about when it comes to finances. Wow. You know, like Eric's a legitimate genius. Correct her. You know, a mathematician. You can't lie to him about stuff like that.
I would tell you his theory on what he thinks this whole thing is, this whole, you know, it's a simulation or whatever. Because, you know, so Newton, there's Newtonian physics, right, which is this matter here. And then there's quantum physics, study of the electron that Einstein was the pioneer of and blah, blah, blah.
So Einstein was working on what's called a theory of everything, which was the bridge. Because a lot of times the rules in this ether, in Newtonian, in the world that we live in, are different when it comes to gravity and light than they are on a quantum level. So what is the bridge? How do we bring them together? How do we reconcile both realities? Right. So that's the theory of everything.
So Eric is obsessed with that and kind of works on that.
Well, he made his own theory of everything.
Yeah, so his idea is that maybe the singularity is already here, and maybe we're already machines. So watch this. So we're already machines replicating better machines, better versions of ourselves. And it's kind of an interesting thing because it kind of dovetails with Buddhism, right? So watch this. I'm going to do an experiment on you that a Buddhist Rinpoche will ask somebody.
Oh, should I get prepared? Get in the lotus position. There it is. Oh. There it is. Dude, good breathing. I'm ready. Good breathing.
I'm watching this guy doing DMT breathing today on Instagram. He was explaining how to spike your DMT and communicate with entities. And he was saying how you compress your balls and your asshole and all your sex organs and then through your abdominals and you exhale all your breath. And then you breathe like this.
And then you come.
And you get that DMT flow. Oh, is that what you get? I don't know.
It doesn't work for me.
It's not working with one. Did he have a boner when he was telling you this? The thing is, like, most of these things take a long fucking time, and I'm busy.
I'm busy, dude.
I'm busy, and I'm easily distracted. Correct. I have a lot of ADD.
I'll just lick a toad.
Well, that's like Terrence McKenna's old thing.
My buddy did that shit. He did the toad thing.
Oh, the toad thing's odd.
He called me up. He goes, everything's different now. I'm like, all right, calm down.
But that's 5-methoxy. That's 5-methoxy. Have you done it? Methyltryptamine.
Yeah, allegedly.
Yeah. The thing about Kundalini yoga and all these different ways where you can achieve those states, like Terrence McKenna had a great line about that. He's like, one time the Buddha came to visit this town and this monk came to the Buddha and he said, I have practiced a city of levitation for 10 years and now I can walk on water. And the Buddha says, yeah, but the ferry is only a nickel.
And that was McKenna's take on why would you do this when you could just take psychedelics? Yeah, that's so good. You don't really have to fucking meditate for 10 years, homie. You missed out on a lot of enlightenment while you're staring at a corner of the wall.
Yeah, you hear those guys a lot. That's kind of why I'm... Like Zen masters will say, I have nothing to teach you because once you, the part of you. So the idea would be you can't improve yourself. What? Because the part of you that wants to improve yourself is the part that needs improving.
So until you get out of, until you get out of your own way and you realize that you, this, this construct called yourself is an imagined construct. You've invented this. So like Sam Harrison, he studies the Vedanta, right? So in his book, Spirituality Without Religion, he does this experiment, which the Buddhists will have you do. They'll say, so you're watching me right now. I'm talking.
Now, there's this guy named Joe Rogan, okay? And we know Joe Rogan's got this. But for a second, try to locate where you really are. In other words, where are you actually listening to me from? Where are you? Where is the seat of your attention? Are you behind your face? Are you here? And if you try to do that, it's kind of impossible to locate where...
where you're hearing me from there's this sort of echo this idea that you're not a lot of mental jerking off i'm right here i'm looking at you right here i hear you know i know i hear you through my ears because if i plug this one up it sounds different and if i plug both of them up i don't hear you at all i'm assuming the sound's coming in here i'm right here i'm talking to you you're still attached to your physical this is all like the children of rich kids who sit around pondering the universe this is
Buddhism, man.
Come on.
You're not even a good student. They take a backpack and they go on a trek and they stay in hostels because they're amazing.
I turned to the other member. He's not ready yet. He's not ready. We have to break him down further.
No, there's something to that, all bullshit aside. Yeah. It's a weird exercise. Yeah.
Because the idea would be you can observe your brain, so you can observe your thoughts. You can observe your body, and you can observe your emotions. You can actually step outside and watch that stuff. And they get really good at that. They get really good at realizing that you're none of those things. You might be the observer, whoever that is or whatever that is. And that's kind of where they...
It's kind of an interesting exercise. That's why you see these dudes, that guy, that monk who set himself on fire, right, in 1963. Oh, the Vietnam photo? Now, David Halberstam from the New York Times said he didn't make a sound. They watched him, and he literally, they heard the air leave his lungs, and he just fell over.
So did the lady on the subway. She didn't make a sound either.
Well, she was also probably asleep or something.
She was until she was lit on fire.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah. So I don't know. But the idea would be- Yeah, I've never seen anybody- He never moved. Burning, covered, engulfed in flames. You might not be able to talk. Do you know what I'm saying?
Yeah, but he also didn't move.
So he stayed there. Oh, no. It was an incredible display of will.
So he left his body. He was watching himself. That would be the idea behind- That's what they would say.
Or he had incredible discipline, and through insane pain, he sat there.
Yeah. Well, have you seen those videos? How about when the Indian Army went up? This is recent. That is such a fucking crazy photo.
Jamie, bring up the Indian Army. Hold on. Pull that photo back again. It's incredible. Look how insane that photo is. That guy is just sitting there completely engulfed in flames.
To protest the way the president of South Vietnam at the time, who was a staunch Roman Catholic, was treating Buddhists. And he said, please have some compassion and lit himself on fire.
Jesus Christ.
What a bad motherfucker.
Now- That's a good argument for celibacy. Because if that guy's getting a lot of pussy... Well, that's right.
Because you're attached to a sensation.
So they rid themselves of... I have a long way to go.
If you burn me with this cigar, I'd be like, fuck it! I can't do that.
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Yeah, I think all those things are tools to try to break out of the ego, right? The problem that most people have is they think about themselves all the time, and the worst version of it is extreme narcissism and sociopathy. And then the best people are the people that think about others more than they think about themselves.
Those are the people that we admire the most, the people that genuinely think about other people. That's right. A lot. That's right. One thing that I really genuinely do try to do is I try to not think about myself. I think about things that I must do. I do think about things that I don't like that I did. Like I don't like how I handled that conversation. Maybe I was coming in like a little hot.
Maybe I was coming in at a five and I should have been at a two. And maybe the reason why it became like a contentious argument was my fault. Yeah. Very good. I'm so much better at that than I was when I was younger at like I can have a conversation with someone that I vehemently disagree with and keep it very civil. Yeah.
Yeah, when we were younger, both you and I, we'd start shouting our opinion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was about winning.
Also, we were all retarded. Yeah. And we were young and stupid, and we had bad role models. We were like, there's a lot of things going on there. You know, and men would shut the fuck up. Men would talk like men. And also, I grew up essentially feral. I didn't have any normal structure.
I feel like I did a little bit, too. Yeah.
Well, you certainly did. You traveled all over the country, all over the world. You were in a boarding school when you were in high school.
Yeah, like 13.
I remember talking to you about your life story. I'm like, it's amazing you're not more fucked up. You should be really fucked up.
That's what my aunt and uncle said. They go, we just can't believe you're not in jail or fucking on drugs.
Well, you became the best thing for someone who's fucked up, which is a comedian. Yeah.
My parents were awesome, though.
They loved the shit out of me, so that was a huge part of it. Look, my parents are nice, too. It could have definitely been way worse. It's not their fault. They had a child in 1967.
That's right.
And everybody was retarded back then. That's right. And their parents went through the fucking depression. So everybody was just, it was a vile time with so many different aspects of our society.
violence and crime and it was you know no one knew what the fuck was going on they had just killed kennedy it was like it wasn't a time world war ii was fresh true destruction vietnam was ongoing yeah right so it was a time of great confusion and i don't think you could ever compare it's like And we go back and we think about things that happened in the year 1200.
Like, oh, the barbaric conquests of cities and sacking of countries by the Mongols and all this crazy stuff. It's a different time. It's a different time. There's different people in a different time. Our parents grew up in a different time. We are growing up in the most strange time because this is like coming out of –
this barbaric sort of primal history and recognizing in some strange way that we're more connected than ever before. And the electronics are bringing us connected, but also disconnecting us at the same time. So there's this bizarre struggle for inter-human communication and personal communication and learning how to exchange ideas with people and talk to people in a civil way while you're also...
You're more informed than ever before, more informed on human behavior patterns and psychology. We're seeing it play out right before our eyes where you've had a total polar shift of some of the key tenants of the left and the right, where the left is all for a war. The left is for censorship. The left is for whatever pharmaceutical drugs they're trying to push. Top-down authority. It's crazy.
Fidelity to authority, too.
Blind fidelity. Blind fidelity to authority.
And also, the left has also become very good at destruction in a lot of ways. I'm not saying the right doesn't have its problems, but the left has become... Like, you and I were talking about this. Like, if you disagree with the left, they will come after everything. Everything. The right kind of goes, you're an idiot, and they'll make fun of you and do a meme about you. Yeah.
But the left, you know, and that's... That's what I call the make or break machine. You know, if you look at, um, and this is one of the things I talk about with my, my specialists that just, you, you, you take Caitlyn Jenner who came out, uh, Bruce Jenner has an operation for eight, eight hours comes as, as, as Caitlyn Jenner. A minute later, it was an eight hour.
The first one was about eight hours on the face. Did a great job by the way. By the way, how about this? Can I just say this? Like, don't say you'd fuck her. No, no, no. Take it easy. But I'm just saying. Don't say it. I'm just saying. You're thinking of saying it. How about a little something for the surgeon? He should have won artist of the year. Bruce Jenner was a 65-year-old man.
Looked like a 45-year-old woman. Came out of it. But a minute later, won woman of the year. All right, dude. Listen, we all have our taste, okay? I'm sorry.
I like 45-year-old ladies. That's why I'm looking at you this way. I like me a hot 45-year-old lady.
I'm saying with makeup on Glamour magazine, look very good.
Like a well-kept 40s lady, goes to the gym, does squats, looking good. That's what I'm talking about.
A real athlete.
Hanging on because she wants to hang on. Everybody's 6'2", maybe 6'3". When you're 23, you don't even have to hang on. You're just there. You're perfect.
That's why I don't take any advice on health from 26-year-olds.
Should I eat more berries? Shut the fuck up. Shut your fucking mouth. Come get into my body for a second. Get your hydrogen water. You shut your fucking mouth. Yeah, fuck off.
I got to warm my feet up in the morning.
You're 24 years old. Exactly. You were just born. You were just born a matter of months ago. Correct. Shut your dirty mouth.
Correct. I'm calcifying, motherfucker. None of your shit's going to help my calcification. I'm dying. I have arthritis. So do I. Yeah. So do I. I got to warm my feet up before I get out of the car. Okay? I have a whole thing about that, but... You know, that's the reality of getting older.
Well, you're going to be beat up, especially if you work out a lot. Yeah. There's just no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Yeah. Shout out to Ways to Wealth for keeping me glued together, though. I got to. Get involved. Get some peptides and all this stuff. I was talking to Zuckerberg yesterday. He got his knee reconstructed. I said, did you get on any peptides? He said, no. I go, do you hate healing?
He looks great, by the way. He does. He looks good. He's got a thick neck now.
I know. He's got a thick neck. He's got a perm. He's actually handsome. He's wearing a jewel. He's wearing his jewelry. Very expensive watch. He looks great.
I looked at his watch. I was like, that's pricey.
How much was it?
I don't know. I'm not a real watch head. He doesn't look at prices, sir. Oh, he doesn't have to. No. No. He's like, I'll take one of those, please. Yeah. Smiles. Yeah. Thanks for your data. Smiles. I like him a lot. I do too. I really do. I've hung out with him. I've talked to him quite a few times. He's a good dude.
He's a good dude with a very weird job, you know, being in control of, what did he say it was? 3. what billion people use? God damn. 3.2 billion fucking people use Facebook.
I was telling you this the other day. I think his political transformation is interesting because, now there's a cynical view. It's from jujitsu. Agreed. When you do MMA and you're around other men and your testosterone goes up, you start to feel your body. You put your hands on the world. You're going to have a different perspective, for real. It's going to change.
They have done studies, I believe, Jamie, you can look this up, where when they raise a man's testosterone, he becomes more conservative, more right wing.
Yes. But listen, man, and it's also a nice lesson to all those nerds out there that think they can never be a beast. It's not true. It's not true. You don't have to hate people that are physically competent and formidable.
Come join the party.
You can be one of them. And I always bring up Mikey Musumichi just because he's awesome and he's a brilliant guy who wears these thick glasses, always smiling, and he can fucking kill everybody in the room. Correct. Like Zuckerberg's on his way to becoming that, you know, and he was, if you go back just a few years ago, nerdy guy, you know, who's like really smart, but not, not really physical.
And now his whole life up here. Now he's down here.
He's talking about it. He was talking about on the podcast yesterday that he loves training because it gives him a chance to express this side that has been demonized in our culture.
Yeah. His voice sounds different even. Yeah, he's good. He's becoming a man. Well, fucking broke. Men are raised by women in our schools and stuff. And because of this, probably in the past 30 years, masculinity was always considered, they were taught it's a liability.
Your aggression, your competitiveness, all that stuff. Corporate environments, yeah. which have really put the brakes on masculine behavior. And we talked about that yesterday too, that that's actually in some ways a good thing because it gives women this opportunity to excel as well. They shouldn't have to become a man. They shouldn't have that sexist perspective imposed upon them.
But it's like everything else. It's like an overcorrection.
Yeah.
You know, like you have things go completely this way and then they come back. Like woke. Like the woke ideology. It went so far right or so far left. Now it's kind of swinging back.
Well, the woke ideology had a major problem, which was it was reductive. Right? It would reduce a complicated world to a binary world, which is ironic, by the way. But it would sort of say, I can solve all this. There are oppressors and oppressed. There's power and powerless people.
black and white also there's no forgiveness zero forgiveness don't apologize they'll really crucify you and you can't there's no retribution there's no way to come back but my 13 year old son you can see these kids now at 13 don't start talking to him about this shit because these kids are like they've already been they figured it out at 13 I'm telling you my son was like I don't feel I don't like this shit I want to do jujitsu and wrestle all the time fuck off also podcasts correct
Yeah. Correct. They get to hear actual men who've made it through the maze and aren't a bitch. Yeah. And they go, hey, wait a minute. That guy seems really nice and having fun. Competent. And he's an actual man. Yeah. There's real men out there. He does shit that's fun, too. He's good at stuff. Good at stuff. Has a good time. Yeah. That's the point. Stop crying all the time.
Why are we fucking oversharing? Yeah. Why are we promoting and propping up people who fucking cry all the time? Listen, I cry. I cry. I cry if I'm happy. I cry if I'm sad. I cry when I think about my dogs that have died.
I have a whole joke about that. It's like there are a couple of things. My whole joke is this. I can't call my friends. I had this joke. I was like, if I call my friends and I'm like, I'm sad, my friends can call me. You got the wrong number, pussy. And it's like, Joe Rogan, that's a mean way to talk to me, you know? But it's true. I remember one time I called you. This is fucking great.
I called you and I remember my audition went bad and it was like the third, I would get right there. I was about to, and back then, remember, if you got a TV show, your money problems were gone for a while. All I thought about was I get to drink great wine and buy a fucking house and take a minute, right?
you're thinking of a nice car remember that and I fucking called you and I go like this I go fuck dude I don't know I was good and he goes you can't be good you gotta be great I go I know I know I know I just I don't know I'm just I don't know I just can't I can't figure it out and I was bummed right and I was basically saying I'm sad and you fucking go you go yeah and he goes what do you want to do tonight I go I don't know I just let it down he goes
Hey, you'll be all right. Let's just fucking go out and eat and do something. You'll figure it out. Fucking relax. Don't get all mopey about this shit. I was like, okay. And that was it.
A lot of people get mopey, man. I had a lot of friends that got super mopey when they didn't get things. So think about the audition process. And I've always talked about this. This is a part of the whole problem with the entire psychology of Los Angeles. Because a giant percentage of people at least had... Somewhere in the back of her head, some sort of an aspiration to try to get famous.
So you move there. You have already an exorbitant need for attention because there's some hole in your past that you're trying to fill up with, I want to be a star. And then you're going somewhere. So you have this need for acceptance. And then you're going somewhere where people judge you. And most of the time judge you poorly. Most of the time they don't like you.
So most things you audition for you don't get. And if you get one, oh my God, now I'm in. And so now these manipulative people that are in charge of casting you, they can essentially mold your personality based on what they want. If they want a left-wing personality, if they want you to be pro-Kamala and we need a black woman president. I took my eighth booster this morning. I believe in science.
Love is love. They'll turn you into that fucking thing. They'll turn you into that thing because the entire place is about the golden ticket. Everybody wants the golden ticket. I was so lucky because I never had any aspirations about acting. I had zero. I remember you called me. Remember you called me. But I mean, just let me tell you the whole story behind it.
When MTV, when I did the half hour comedy hour, and then I got a development deal to do a sitcom, I had never taken a single acting class. And all of a sudden, I have this development deal. And I'm over there. And when the show that I was on got canceled- I was ready to go back to New York and be a comic again. I was like, fuck this place. But I bought off. I had a lease.
I had a lease on an apartment for a year. I'm like, fuck. Right. So I was stuck in this. I couldn't afford to not be in this because now I wasn't getting $20,000 a week anymore. Yeah. Whatever the fuck I was doing. I was like, holy shit. And I was ready to leave. And so then I get another development deal. And then I auditioned for the second show I ever do. I only had two auditions ever.
Hardball and news radio. And I'm on two TV shows. I'm like, this is crazy. And so I never went through that whole thing. I never went through that whole this could change my life. My life was already changed. None of it made any sense to me. I was making all this money. I had a Toyota Supra Turbo. I was like, this is crazy.
I remember you bought that Acura, the new Acura.
Oh, the NSX.
Yeah, dude. I loved it. You used to pick me up in that shit. I was like, what the fuck?
It was like a little jet fighter car. I loved it. But it was just like, for me, it was all gravy. So I was watching everybody scramble for this thing, and I was examining the psychology of it and how it affects everything. Because when people didn't get auditions, when they went on auditions, then you went out to dinner with them at night, they were so depressed. That would be me.
Oh, you all the time. You all the time. You wanted it so bad. I remember we were at the comedy store one night. Because I didn't think there was any other options. And I remember telling you, like, why don't you just do stand-up? Why don't you just throw yourself into stand-up?
Yeah.
Like, you're so funny, dude. You're so good on stage. But when you get up there, sometimes you're just like, I feel like you're auditioning for a show. Yeah. That's what I felt like you were doing when you were doing stand-up. Yeah. You didn't want to be crazy. But then offstage, you would say silly things. You'd be, like, much more vulnerable and ridiculous. Yeah.
And that was the funny Brian Cowell. I'm like, yes. Throw yourself into this thing.
You remember when I was doing that? I finally got my own show. I'm doing those shows. I was like, I fucking do it. I don't like this. I want to do stand-up now. Now I told you. The cool thing about being 57, I'm enjoying stand-up more now than I ever have. Well, you're smarter now.
Yeah. And Dom Herrera said this to me years ago. He was like, Joe, you know, he was like in his 60s at the time. He was like, Joe, I've never been sharper than ever. You just keep doing it and you keep getting better. We're so lucky we're comics. Fuck. We're so lucky. So lucky. And he was. He was better in his 60s than he was in his... He was always great.
In his 60s, hilarious.
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Tom is the best. So did I. So did I. I was in college. And I was at the Improv in New York, and my father took me to, we sat there and watched Dom Herrera. I remember that's why when I come off stage at the Laugh Factory, and I was still a little in awe of Dom. And Dom goes, Bri, come over here. And I was like, oh, maybe he's going to give me some pointers, you know.
And I go, he goes, you know what I love about your act? I go, what? And he goes, you don't go for the laughs.
Dom's the best at that. The subtle diss, the comedy diss. I became friends with Dom. Well, I think I'd actually done an open mic night or two before I met him. Or before I paid to see him, rather. But then, not that long afterwards. So this is like... Four years later, like 92, I was working with him in Montreal. We did the – That's intimidating. Yeah. It wasn't though. He was super cool.
Maybe it was a year after.
He's a real comic, man.
Real comic. So maybe it was 93. So maybe it was like five years later. So I'm like real raw in comedy. But I had my feet under me at that point in time where I had some material that could kill. Like I wasn't a really good comic, but I had a few jokes, especially sex jokes that were bangers. They were bangers. And so we did Montreal together. And then I was in Amsterdam billiards.
This is in my almost became a professional pool player stage. Like if pool was a real career like golf, I would have become a pool player. Yeah. I just loved it. I loved the pool halls. You're lucky you didn't get into golf, dude. I'm so lucky. You're a maniac. I'm terrified. You're fucking crazy. But I loved the pool players. I loved the hang. They were just so different.
They were outcasts, and they were loose and fun, and we said ridiculous shit to each other, and everybody was laughing all the time. It was always fun. Um, and I saw us playing pool every night. And so, uh, I had a gig and, uh, before the gig, I think, or maybe after the gig, I went to Amsterdam and, uh, Don Herrera pulls up and he's got his own cue. And I was like, Dom, you play pool.
And he's like, yeah, you play pool. I go, I fucking love pool. I go, let's play some pool. And he was good. We were playing straight pool. which is like the type of pool they played in the movie The Hustler. It's very rarely played in America anymore, but it's an amazing game. You play with a stack of 15 balls, and you knock off one.
The first break is like a safe break, and everybody moves balls around until someone makes a mistake and leaves an opening, and that guy smashes into the balls, and then you run as many balls as you can in order. So it's called 14-in-1.
So it doesn't matter if it's solids or strips?
It doesn't matter. You leave 14 balls on the table... And the one ball, like you leave a break ball and then you rack the other 14. And so you shoot the break ball in. The idea is to collide your cue ball into the stack and keep running.
So let me give a shout out to Jason Shaw because Jason Shaw, who's one of the best pool players on earth, one of the greatest of all time, he just broke the world record in straight pool this week. And I think he ran 839 balls. Jason with a Y, J-A-Y.
Fuck.
832.
So the record before was set by Willie Moscone in like the 60s, and it was on an eight-foot table with big pockets. That was like 500 and something balls. So he beat that. He ran 714 balls. So that was the previous world record he also owned. And then he just ran 832 balls. When I tell you the concentration involved in doing that, because you're talking about hours of play.
I mean, I don't know how many racks of 15 balls is 832. Someone do the math. I think when you get that good at anything, you learn everything about life. Well, he's a wizard. And about yourself. He is a wizard.
Yeah. But I'm saying when you master something like that, I'm not saying your marriage is going to be great. I'm saying when you master something like that, it's a very good way to really get to know yourself.
Here's how great Professional Pool is right now. He doesn't even win most tournaments. Yep. Is there a nationality that dominates? No. Filipinos are among the highest level on earth.
Why? Do you know?
Well, because the GIs went there in the 1950s and they brought pool. And Filipinos learned how to play pool in very tough conditions because it's very humid over there. So humidity affects the tablecloth. And the moisture in the tablecloth slows down the roll of the balls. And so you could take two approaches to that.
You could either hit the balls hard, which is like the American way to do it, or the Filipinos learn to use the entire weight of the cue and have an elegant, almost like artistic way of playing. They have the most beautiful strokes. A stroke versus a hit. Yes, they have the most beautiful strokes, especially at the time. So there was a guy who came over in the 1970s, and his name was Efren Reyes.
And he came over under the nom de pleur, Cesar Morales. And he was this Filipino kid.
So he changed to a different –
Yeah, well, he went from Filipino to Mexican. Because everybody would have known him if they had ever gone to the Philippines. Because in the Philippines, he was already robbing everybody. And like a legitimate wizard, a chess genius, an unbelievable, widely considered, if not the greatest of all time, one of the, you know, it's like MMA, like is it Khabib, is it Mighty Mouse, is it Jon Jones?
It's one of those deals. One of the absolute greatest pool players of all time. And then from Efren Reyes came all these other, this Filipino invasion where they were just dominating pool. And big money, like giant money games, half a million dollar matches. Fuck. Yeah. Yeah, a ton of them.
And when you have a match, how many games are you playing?
It depends. Some of these guys will play like a race to 120, whoever wins 120 games. And they'll play it over three days and they'll do it for $100,000.
Wait, a race, 120 games?
120 games of nine ball. That's a lot. That's a lot. But that's really going to find out who's the better player. So how long would that take? If you and I played 10 games and maybe I'm a little better than you, you could win those 10 games. Yeah. You could get on a roll. You could get a lot of rolls of the balls where I get safe a few times or I scratch on the break a couple of times.
And so that's two more games that you maybe wouldn't have won if we were playing, you know, even. And you could win a race to 10. Like the odds of me winning a race to 10 if we were both, if I was just slightly better than you, it would be like, you know, maybe 60-40 or 55-45, something like that. Yeah. But when you get to a race to 120, then your odds dwindle. The better player always wins.
That becomes a physical game too now. Now you're actually an athlete a little bit. Well, sort of.
It's concentration for sure.
Yeah, but your body can't break down.
Your body can't break down. The best guys are all fit.
You never get really big fatzos that can handle... There used to be a guy... What I love about The Hustler, one of the greatest movies ever with Paul Newman, is when Jackie... What the fuck's his name? Gleason. Jackie Gleason said, it really came down to character. He washed his hands, washed his face, and drew a blank and came back and beat him.
That was a really interesting lesson for me as a young man.
Guys really do that, too. They clear their mind. They go in the bathroom. They throw cold water on their face. They wash their hands. They change their clothes. They just need something to break themselves out of it. It's a mental game. Like, you know, Jeremy Jones, who's another all-time great, won the U.S. Open, good friend of mine. We were talking about it.
He's like, I think it's the most mental game in the world because it's not just about thinking about what happens. It's about execution under pressure. And then it's also about you're controlling the rotation of a ball. Like, if you hit it this hard, it goes that far. Subtle, subtle. This hard, it goes that far. And that's what you want.
You want the difference between an inch and an inch and a half. It's crazy.
But everything at the highest level is those micro adjustments.
The reason why Magnus Carlsen wins all those chess tournaments.
They say when Rafa Nadal is one of the greatest tennis players ever. When he won Wimbledon, they're all clapping. He comes in and the legend goes, I don't know if it's true, but I heard it makes sense. He's coming in and he's going like this. He goes, I think my grip, I think I want to, he's not even paying attention. He's talking to his coach.
I feel like my grip should be just a little bit like that or still making micro adjustments. You just won Wimbledon.
You have to. Yeah. That's what makes them so good in the first place. I know guys who change their grip all the time in their cue. Like sometimes they'll grab it like this with two fingers, and then they change it, and then they turn their wrist forward, and they'll play for a year with their wrist forward. Oh, guys do weird shit.
But isn't stand-up like, so I'm going to shoot this special, and I'm going to throw it away, and I've got to start again. And just because I've done five specials doesn't mean it's going to be easier. It's going to be a motherfucker because I've got to come up with – I've got to make sure I don't repeat myself. I've got to make sure I'm not – You've got to have something to say.
You've got something to say? You can't get calcified?
I took a whole month off of stand-up after I did my special because I didn't have anything to say. You have to. I got drained doing that thing, especially doing it live. I was like, this is so draining. And then I was like, let me think about what I want to talk about afterwards. Do you have any ideas now? Oh, yeah. I've got like 25 minutes now. Yeah. Yeah, it's good stuff. Like, it's fun.
I'm having a good time.
Do you ever get tired of talking to – do you ever get tired of doing this podcast even though you have very interesting people?
No, I don't. No. Oddly enough, out of all the things in my life, this is the one thing that I kind of – well, first of all, I choose who goes on it, right? So I'm always looking forward to talking to those people.
Yeah.
But I love talking to people, man. I like it. The whole moody loner thing, I don't get it. People, to me, are awesome. They're interesting. I like being inspired. I like being intrigued.
I like trying to think about- Yeah, because you have a lot of problem solvers on this podcast, too.
Oh, yeah.
You know?
Oh, yeah. Well, I've definitely gotten an unexpected education.
Yeah.
If you go back and listen to me in 2009 when I started this thing, I was a retard. Dude.
We all were. Yeah. I think what was interesting is we would, I'd have these opinions and I'd, I'd, I'd state these truths and then like somebody would Google it and be like, Hey, Hey dude, no. It's like I had this hilarious fucking typical Brian. I'm talking about cows, grass fed, all this shit. Hey, Hey man, I've never been on a farm. Okay. Never, never raised cows.
The farmer goes, Hey, I love your podcast. Brian's wrong about everything he said, but it's cool. I fucking emailed the guy back, you know, I'm talking to him. And he gave me an education. He's like, I mean, what you're saying is just not true when it comes to how you raise cows. And there was a thousand things, of course, I had no idea. That's the biggest liability, I think, in a lot of ways.
You know who you should talk to? You should have Will Harris on your show. Who's that? Will Harris runs this amazing farm in Georgia where it started out as an industrial farm that his family owned, and he converted it to regenerative agriculture over 20 years. And it took him forever to do it. What's the name of the farm again, Jamie? White Oak Pastures.
And then there's Joel Salatin, who's a similar guy. I think they were talking about him having something to do with farming in the Trump administration. I don't know if that's come to pass. But if it does, I really do hope that he'll be involved because he's another brilliant guy who runs a regenerative farm.
Farming is no joke.
And what they do is essentially their type of farming is recreating nature. So they just contain nature. Instead of like having people shuttle all these cows into these stalls and put a fucking trough in front of them and like – no, these animals graze out in the field. They just control where they go. And they eat what they normally would eat.
And they make sure that they get plenty of new ground. So they move them to new ground when they've used up all the grass. They push them over there. And then the chickens do the same thing. They have a chicken coop that's a mobile chicken coop. They push it out. They open it up. They run around. And then he's dealing with, like, hawks killing his chickens.
So he's got to come up with ways to mitigate the hawks.
Yeah, this is like Mike Catherwood. You know Mike? Great guy. Do you know Mike Catherwood? He was on Loveline.
Oh, yes, yes, yes. I know Mike.
And he lives in Austin.
What do they call him? What's his name on the radio show?
Psycho Mike Hathaway. That's right. So Mike comes down with his wife, who's an actress, and they're like, I'm going to be in Austin on the outskirts, and I want to live on a farm. Did he move here? Yeah, he's a kid from L.A. He goes, I get here, and we got guinea fowl. We got little sheep. We got rabbits. We got all— And fucking the snakes are eating all my eggs.
The guinea fowl getting decimated by coyotes, foxes, whatever the fuck it is out there. I mean, everything's dying. I'm just getting decimated by hawks coming in. I'll take your bunnies. That's adorable. You think you can raise bunnies? So they're just getting decimated. Guess what they did? What's the one change they made?
What'd they do?
They got two Anatolian shepherds.
Oh, yeah.
And bro, he said, even the fucking snakes are on those. He's like, those fucking dogs are just like, coyotes? Excuse me, sir?
Get the fuck out of here. That's what they were bred for. Oh, my God.
And they're not pets.
Shepherds are awesome.
Not indoor pets.
No.
Those fucking things will just patrol your grounds, and anything on four legs is going to pay a very dear price.
Good. Yeah. I want four of them. Yeah, they don't fuck around. I'm going to buy a ranch. Are you? Yeah. Really? Yeah. Yeah. I've been talking about it for a while. You're going to live on it? I'm just waiting for the – maybe. But at the very least, we're going to put the podcast on a ranch. Really? Yeah. Because I want to have a ranch.
I also want to have a big piece of land in case things go sideways where I can have like a whole community on a ranch. This is where I start my cult. I'm going to have – just let people build on the ranch. Like give them a few acres.
I got some kids.
That's what I'm saying. Like, imagine if you have like a 2000 acre property and on that 2000 acre property, there's like a literal community of you and your friends and you can go hunt on the land.
Yeah.
And then there's water. There's a lake there.
Count me in. I'll wear a tweed jacket. I'll smoke cigars. I'm not going to do any of the work, but I'll supervise.
You don't have to do any of the work. Boy. There's no need for that. Go and take care of that hay. I think it's a crazy dream. Like it's a crazy idea to do, but isn't everything a crazy, like coming here is a crazy idea. Yeah. Building a mothership was a crazy idea.
But what if you had out like a big pond with fish? Yeah. So you can fish.
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You had land you can shoot your own... Let me tell you about freshwater fish. Yeah?
Can't eat a lot of them. Why? Because of poison. Oh, really? Yeah, there's a lot of mercury in freshwater fish. Really? Yeah. There was a dude who... What did he win? He won some big fishing derby. He was a big-time fisherman. He started getting some weird neurological condition. And it turned out it was because he was just eating freshwater fish all the time and some lakes.
So you've got to think about rainfall. Remember when we were younger, acid rain? Everybody was worried about acid rain, acid rain. Yeah, what happened to that? I don't know. It went away. But the thing about it is like pollutants in the air, when the rain comes down, it does bring all that shit into the water and then it stays in that water.
So if you've got a lake and that lake gets drowned on with pollution rain, you're going to have a certain amount of toxic elements that are going to be in that water.
Yeah, mercury is not good for the body.
Why don't you Google how much – oh, Jamie is already on it. Eating one freshwater fish equals a month of drinking Forever Chemicals water. Well, that's a problem. No more trout for me. See, that's the problem. These Forever Chemicals. PFAS found at high levels in freshwater fish with most concern for vulnerable communities.
So, like, this is a good point about the vulnerable communities because I was filming a TV show once in Detroit. And we were on the banks of this river that was fucking clearly polluted. And there was all these really poor people who were on the banks of that river that were fishing for food.
Yeah.
And not just a few, like quite a bunch of people that were trying to get their dinner on that river. And, you know, people that really they needed that for food. They looked real poor. And, you know, there was a white, black, all kinds of different nationalities, Asians and a lot of people. And I was like, whoa, like Detroit is at least was in 2012 when I was filming this thing was fucking scary.
Like when you realize how a city, which was one of the richest cities in the country, thereby one of the richest cities in the world in the 1950s during the peak of the automotive industry, and then to see it just decimated.
Decimated.
And these people were just – and I was like, oh, my God, they're going to eat these fish. And then I thought, oh, my God, they have to eat these fish.
Well, that was the Great Migration, right? So from the South, a huge number of black people went up to Detroit looking for jobs. And the problem was when they got to there, first of all, the auto industry started to get decimated because it started to move toward Japan and different countries. In the 50s? I can't remember. See when the Great Migration was. It was before that.
I feel like everything started fucking up in the 70s.
Well, they had jobs and there was a whole thriving community. But really what happened also is that the auto workers union, I'm sorry, but it kept black people out of it. There's a lot of racism that went on. So a lot of people couldn't find jobs.
The Great Migration refers to a large-scale movement of approximately 6 million African Americans from the rural south to urban areas of north and west between roughly 1916 and 1970, driven primarily by the desire to escape racial violence, pursue better economic opportunities, and access improved education in the north.
Escaping Jim Crow laws.
Yeah.
Didn't work out.
Well, it did. For a while. I mean, maybe in a way it did because they thrived in those areas where they probably wouldn't have.
Well, it was like the Puerto Rican exodus from Puerto Rico to New York. They went up there looking for manufacturing jobs. Then the manufacturing jobs coincided with moving south. So you had this massive number of people who didn't have anywhere to go.
In the early 1900s, many African Americans migrated north to work in Detroit's booming industries, yet they rarely saw the benefits. Many white neighbors actively denied African Americans access to decent living conditions and job opportunities. Yep.
there it is yeah so a lot of darkness and all that stuff there is but the city that's left over now um you know you've seen roger me right yeah michael morris film which is like i think his best one it's like when he was pure yeah you know he wasn't like ideologically captured and editing things for effect he was pure that was a bummer i saw that he started doing that yeah uh
It is a problem because then it makes you question everything else.
Well, the biggest thing that every mainstream publication is in crisis, and I think they've earned it. They've deserved it. The New York Times still makes money, but primarily not because of their articles that people read. It's primarily because they're crosswords. They're puzzles.
Yeah.
But when you take things out of context and you have journalists that are 26 years old and have an ideological bent, the rest of us are going, the news doesn't reflect the world I live in. Whatever the fuck you're saying, I don't know who this is. I've never seen this. I live in a very different world. And it's going to be interesting to see.
I think there's a liability, though, where podcasts take the place of mainstream media in some ways, because then you have somebody who's very good at talking for three hours and they can really sway a lot of people. But that's one side of their story. So now you have just that.
So you have to be careful because sometimes it could just move things over here where, again, the truth is somewhere in the middle a lot of times or it's more nuanced or there's just more to know.
It's definitely more nuanced. I think there's always going to be a real problem with people that don't really know what's going on, say they know what's going on. When they say they know what's going on, it confuses everybody and fucks everything up. And it's another version of gaslighting. So CNN and MSNBC, they gaslight you.
They gaslight you and they actively promote propaganda and narratives that are not objectively true. And The problem on the other side is if you are in opposition of that and you say you know this and you know that, but you really don't. Like you got to be real clear with what you say. People have to really be able to, like, if you don't know, you have to say, ooh, I didn't know that.
You have to say that. Yes. If you do not say that, no one is going to listen to you anymore. And they shouldn't. Right. Because the difference between someone who's completely independent and a podcaster and someone who's on CNN should be that no one is telling you what to do. So what is your ethical compass?
What's the evidence, too?
Right. What's the evidence? But also, what's your ethical compass? Are you trying to win and be correct? Yes. Or are you trying to find out what's going on?
Well, it's also about ratings, right?
It is, but it's not. Yeah, but it's not because I don't think about ratings. No, you don't. But that's why I have them. That's right. See what I'm saying? Like it's not about ratings. Right. Like ratings come if people believe you. Like if you sit around thinking about the ratings, do you think you would be on?
No. No. No. What do you mean?
You'd be on this show right now.
Imagine if I was, like, saying things. Yeah, how'd that come across? Can we do that again?
Let me do that again. You didn't even get it.
You didn't even catch it. Oh, you fucker. Oh, wait a minute. Hey, you motherfucker. You're saying that Mark Zuckerberg and Mel Gibson get better ratings than me? This is bullshit. Occasionally.
Occasionally they do.
You fuck.
Look, I like talking to everybody. I genuinely don't give a fuck. Yeah.
The show's gonna do I don't think you can I think if you do that It'll distort what you do and I think we've all seen people who fall victim to what they call audience capture You know, they start getting a crowd like you see with a lot of guys like online They start saying like a lot of wacky right-wing things and everybody finally someone's telling the truth and then they become just like a fucking My compass for that is this whenever I hear somebody say
on a podcast or whatever, when they say, you guys, all those people over there are wrong. I'm the one whistleblower. I figured out I'm the one. Now you do have Mavericks, but I always am weary of when I hear somebody go, all that, the entire medical establishment is wrong. And I'm right. And I go, I don't think so. I just don't think you know enough. I don't think you as one person.
I'm not going to just put all my bags. There is something called a scientific consensus. Sometimes that can be a bullshit consensus. We can be told that climate scientists all agree. It's not true. It's just how you get funding. So sometimes the incentive structures are there.
And the same with the medical establishment.
Correct. Let's just be a little bit more, you know.
Yeah, you can't say you know things. Because I've heard people who are those kind of people say they know things about me. Yeah. Like, oh, you know, that you can't use your phone on his show. I've heard people say that, like, confidently. The CIA is right behind that. I've heard people confidently say that he's handled by the CIA.
Listen, Mike Baker is my friend, and I'm pretty sure he's still in the CIA. I like them. I like them. I have them on because, like, here's a guy who was a CIA operative. Like, let me ask this guy. And I really do believe he's a patriot. And I really do think he's a great guy. And I think there's a lot of them. And I don't believe cops are bad. And I don't believe any of that bullshit.
I think there's bad people in every fucking business. There's a lot of comedians that I think are rotten cunts. I don't like them. Yep. But it doesn't mean I hate comedians. I love comedians. But there's some comedians that fucking suck.
And if you encounter those comedians and that's your only exposure to comedians, you're going to think, oh, my God, these guys are all selfish assholes and narcissists and they rob people. It's just a few. There's just a few of those.
I also know some CIA people, like real CIA people. And you talk to them and it's like, they're always like this. They're always like, dude, I wish we were as competent as people say. I mean, if you were involved- Talk to Evan Hafer.
He's one of my best friends. I had breakfast with him today. Love that guy. I love Evan. To death. And he's flying out here to see your special. He's coming tonight. Coming to my show. Yeah. I love him. Yeah. I just said this to him today. That was his business for a while. Correct. I know a bunch of those guys. Correct. And you need them. You need them. You want to know how the real world works?
The real world works? Talk to Evan. Have a conversation with Evan.
Same thing. I said to him, I went to his wedding, and I loved everybody there because they were all his closest friends. Evan was there and stuff, and that was the first time I met Evan.
And I'm just talking to these tier one guys and they just seemed so intelligent and they were so, and they were, and John Dudley was there and a lot of like great guys, but I'm talking to some pretty cool people, right? Who, who, who have done a lot with their life and they were well-rounded and everything else.
And I said, man, I just think it'd be so fun to be in that, in a tier one unit because they're just all so, they're so smart and they're just, they just have such a wide breadth of knowledge. And he goes, God, you're so fucking wrong. Yeah.
That's Andy. Andy's the best. Andy had one of the quickest paths to black belts I think I've ever seen. Oh, is he a black belt now? Yep. Well, he lives with a black belt instructor. That's the thing. When your wife is a black belt, you better get your fucking P's and Q's in order, son.
You better dot your I's, cross your T's.
I think he's probably a quick study.
That dude is so fucking smart. He's another guy who's very smart.
Genius, but also obsessive. He got obsessive with bow hunting, became very proficient at bow hunting very quickly. Yeah. And then, you know, living with a black belt, though, is what a huge advantage. You can just drill with your wife all the time.
He's also a CL Team 6 guy, so he's got some physicality.
Also kind of hot. You know, your wife's strangling you every day. Yeah, it's kind of hot. And she could probably kick his ass in the beginning.
Leah is built like a true athlete.
Oh, yeah.
You cannot be light in the ass.
Super smart, too.
Yeah.
She's great. Quiet. Which I think most black belts are. I think it's just there's too many things you have to consider to get that good at jiu-jitsu. It's infinite. Yeah, you could be a brute and just brute strength your way through a lot of it and be kind of halfway dumb and get to black belt maybe.
My only regret is not going down that rabbit hole.
I train now. I wake up every morning going, ah.
Yeah. You don't train much anymore, right?
No. I want to, though. This is the thing. I'm trying to rehab my fucking knee. My knee is the thing that's keeping me from doing it right now. I twisted it when I was hunting this year. Pretty bad. Swole up.
That happened to me the other day. I trained at this in Nono's MMA, who I love it, down in Hermosa. and I love doing it, but I, of course, I'm rolling with a 26-year-old, and I'm like, let's go, and of course, I'm 57, and I see his ankle. Don't give me your ankle, bro. I'm an ankle guy. I pick his ankle, drive him to the ground, fucking poke that ankle.
I'm back. I'm back, bro. I'm a wrestler. High school. High school, dude.
Had trouble looking left for 11 days. All right? Fucking worth it.
Well, when you're old, you've got to roll in a different way. You've got to roll with John Jock Machado. John Jock Machado, who was my instructor since 1998. John Jock is still rolling and still dominating black belts on the mat. When John Jock rolls, he never moves fast. There's no fast. His knowledge is so wide.
His understanding of Jiu-Jitsu, he's talking to you, Joe Hogan, Joe Hogan, I'm about to pass your guard. Like, he's talking shit to you. He does whatever he wants. But it's smooth and slow. And because of that, he does not get hurt.
Yeah.
I mean, he's had a few injuries over the year. But when you deal with, like, high-level black belts who roll on a consistent basis, and Jean-Jacques is in his 50s now, he is not hurt. He still, like, looks fantastic. He's, like, filled with energy, trains all the time. Yeah, sometimes I'll train. You can't do that ape shit that you did when you were 23, like, rough.
I don't get hurt when I'm rolling with somebody who's really good.
Yeah, fuck that. Yeah, you can't be that guy. You've got to move slow. Slow and strong.
I like to talk shit to guys who are way better.
Then you've got to be flexible. That's the other thing. You've got to really work on your stretching and your flexibility. You have to maintain your mobility. I was watching Armand Saryukian, who's fighting Islam Makachev for the lightweight title next weekend. Monster. And he was doing this mobility and flexibility routine. You're like, this is insane.
He's so jacked and so mobile, like more than I think anybody I've ever seen.
Well, part of that also, I think that one of the, people don't talk about this. I think the Dagestanis, the Russians, like Marab.
Look at that dude. Oh, Jesus Christ. That's the dude who's fighting for the lightweight title. And by the way, they fought a few years back and it was, God damn, son.
Dude, I thought I was straight this whole time. God damn, son.
Holy shit. That dude isn't even flexing right there. That's a good-looking man.
I mean, that's a strong man is what I meant.
Good-looking and strong. God, I'm gay. You're correct on both? Jesus. What a monster. Yeah, homeboy is fucking jacked. By the way, his coach is a gold medalist.
I think his coach is a gold medalist Olympic wrestler. Here's the thing about those guys. I think one of their advantages that nobody talks about is that when you get a guy like Khabib, you get these Dagestanis, you get these Russians, these Armenians and stuff. They've been training probably since they were six. And so what happens is your tendons and everything gets really, really strong.
And also, if you ever watch like Alexander Carell and the way they would warm up. Those guys, like Corellon could do a backflip, go splits and all that. Those guys, the way they warm up was, it was scientific.
Yes.
And so, because they knew that the micro damage that happens, and so they would strengthen all the connective tissue first. And I think a lot of times, like guys like Marab, guys like Umar, Since they've been training so long, their bodies are different. They feel different. They are different. They're more rugged. So they don't get injured. They don't deal with injuries.
One of the biggest things that is hard for a lot of guys.
They all get injured.
They might get injured. I think they get injured less. They probably do. Or they train differently.
You're definitely right that their bodies are stronger because they've been doing it since they were younger and that they get developed in that way. But the opposite is true with striking. Like, not the opposite, but it's also true with striking that if you start striking when you're in your 30s, you're never going to catch Floyd Mayweather.
Never.
You need that radar. Well, you need that. Your body needs to be sort of like...
developed to strike yeah but you also have to be like if you look at the the boxers like if you look floyd mayweather his father and his uncle said to him like they knew they were like boxing is just about as much about not getting hit like you can be great and everything else if if your emphasis isn't on every time you throw you got to be in a position where you're not going to get hit every time you step custom auto was that way too every time you you throw you step and
And a huge part of that is it was all a foot game. And all of that is if you haven't been trained properly, as you're learning how to box, you're going to take a lot of damage. And you're fucked. You're fucked after a while. And if you look at those really good coaches, those old guys, Eddie Futch, who taught, who would teach the jab, your hand was here.
Because instead of here, you were taking shots, you would be here. So if you watch him fight with Ken Norton when he fought Ali – He said, when you fight Ali, Ali's here when he jabs. He's doing this. I want your hand here. So you can see Norton catching Ali's jab and then, boom, answering back and catching Ali in the face.
Those little details make literally all the difference in whether you box five more years or if you're done five years earlier.
Well, the best example is Floyd, right? Because he got hit less than anybody ever. I can count him on my hand. Yeah. If you want to say who's the best boxer of all time, I always say Floyd because he got hit less than anybody, and that's the whole thing. And by the way, didn't have the kind of power that any of these other guys had. Didn't have that Roy Jones Jr. power.
When he was younger, he was a power puncher. But he broke his hands a bunch of times. That was part of the problem. But even then, he wasn't a robust guy.
He wasn't Jermaine. I mean, what's his name? Trevante Davis or anything.
Right, right. Well, that's a great example of a guy with just preposterous power. You know, just preposterous power. Did you see Artur Beterbeev, who is fighting Dimitri Bivol? Yes. He did a hammer workout on a tire, where he hit a tire for an hour. He did? For an hour? An hour. What? He hit a tire for an hour with a sledgehammer.
Those Dagestanis are made of different fucking... He's Chechnyan.
Is he Chechnyan? But same shit. Mountain humble. Hamzat, Chemayev, savage people. And he's one of the scariest boxers of all time. The only fight that he had as a professional that went the distance is Bivol. I know. The only fight. And did you see when Bivol would have his hands up? He was 19-0 with 19 knockouts. That's fucking insane.
When you have your hands up with him, he'll still concuss you. Yeah. He hits that hard. Just basic two, like ones and twos, maybe a hook once in a while.
There's a great video where this boxer who was a world-class boxer, who's a professional, got brought in to box bitter beef. And his coach said to him, just do your best. He's like, do my best? What the fuck are you talking about? I'm going to fuck this dude up. And he goes, and he hit me. The first time he hit me, it was like nothing I'd ever experienced in my life.
It was almost like my body left me. And I was like standing there all alone. That's your job, dude. Better be hitting people, too, like this. It's all short. Everything is short. And it's just thunderous power. But they'll hit your arms. Oh, yeah.
He'll break your arms down.
So round five, enjoy that shit. Canelo does a lot of that. He does a lot of that. He smashes guys' arms. Shell up with him. Yeah, you don't want that guy punching arms.
Well, I've always said that about look at look at his workouts with his wrists and fists Yes, and this is his warm-up better be of is one of the craziest specimens because he's almost 40 years old, too So he had this endurance fight with be ball So it's 12 rounds of super high pace very endurance heavy and he was the one that was dominating at the last round correct and
Correct.
That's February 22nd. I'm fucking pumped for that fight.
They're going to fight again?
Oh, yeah. It's the rematch. I'm very pumped for that fight because B-Vol is so goddamn good, too. What he did to Canelo, no one's ever done that Canelo.
I think the best fighter, I think you can make an argument for certainly top three fighters of all time.
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This is Usyk.
Yes.
I think he's incredible.
Incredible.
I mean, I've watched every one of his fights. That dude is on such a different level.
He's smaller than everybody.
He's fighting giants. He's fighting giants. When you're fighting a guy who's 60 pounds heavier with 10-ounce, 12-ounce gloves, it makes such a world of difference.
Especially when the guy is fucking Anthony Joshua.
But please understand, Usyk fought at, I think, 75 when he started out. He's not a big, frank guy.
He's like 225, 230 as a heavyweight. 220, not even 230. Not big, not big, man. By the way, that was Tyson's weight when he was in his prime, too. There's something to be said for that, because a 220-pound man like Mike Tyson can knock out any human being that's ever lived. The amount of power he can generate is insane. So then you have the speed of being only 220 pounds instead of 290.
Or remember when Andy Ruiz fought Joshua the second time and he got real fat? Yeah. So sad. Yeah. Because you had a real chance of carving out a legacy. The knockout in the first fight was fucking huge. He has speed. Oh, my God. Ruiz surprised the shit out of you. His fucking boxing combinations are so fluid. He punches like a middleweight. Yeah. Isn't he a bronze medalist? I don't know.
In the Olympics? I think so.
I think he is. I think he did medal in the Olympics. Great boxer. Very, very schooled boxer. Super nice guy, too. When he came on and did the podcast after he beat Joshua, he had a fucking diamond-encrusted watch. He came in a Rolls Royce. He did? I was like, let's go.
Let's go, Andy. Let's go. I like it. We've got to get you an accountant, though. Don't spend too much of your money on that.
Yeah, probably should get an accountant. And probably don't get to 280 pounds. The problem is then all of a sudden you're a superstar and you're partying and you're having cervezas and hanging with the boys.
I think there's also you've got to take the responsibility on of being a champion. It's hard to hold that. It's one thing. It's like starting a business. You can get people to know about your business. Running a business is very different.
It's a little bit like you get in the belt and staying champion. Maintaining champion. I remember Matt Hughes when BJ Penn beat him. He told me, he goes, honestly, Joe, it's a weight off my back. Wow. And I was like, really? And I was like, it makes sense, though, because he was just smashing everybody, and he was the person that everyone was chasing. Yeah.
And it's like, got to fucking weigh on your psyche.
That's why Jon Jones, to me, is just incredible.
What is this, Jamie?
He didn't win.
He didn't win?
He lost in the qualification tournaments for the Olympics.
Oh, he didn't go to the Olympics. Okay.
Okay. But he did win a bunch of other stuff.
Hmm.
Cuba, man. You ever watch how they test train? Oh, my God.
The Cubans are amazing because they don't hit mitts. You'll have a guy, and they just move and move and move. And once in a while, the coach will lift a glove. About one shot. You know, move and move and move. It's all footwork.
You'll learn where it is.
It's all footwork.
You throw one punch, you know... They, like the Russians, developed a very technical and very technique-oriented way of combat sports. It's why the Russians were so good at Olympics, at wrestling rather, because they were so technical where the Americans would just try to work harder than everybody else. Yeah.
And the Russians figured out, no, there's a time you work hard and there's a time you recover and you have to have active recovery. And they got real scientific about their physical training. Dan Gable, when he did the podcast, was explaining to me how he learned sauna from the Eastern Bloc people. Really? Yeah. Really? They started incorporating sauna.
He's like, this is another added element that raises your endurance. Why? Because they would train hard. And then after training, you sit in that sauna for 20 minutes at 190 degrees, man. Your heart is hammering. So you're getting static cardio. Also, it has an EPO-like effect where it's like a mild dose of EPO. It raises your red blood cells. Really? Yeah.
My endurance is raised significantly when I started doing sauna.
What about cold plunges? That's controversial still, right?
Well, cold plunge is not controversial in terms of the way it makes you feel. So the psychological benefits of the increase in dopamine levels and norepinephrine, that is 100% established. I think that is one of the most powerful aspects of the cold plunge. Also, what's been established is that when you do the cold plunge before exercise, it raises testosterone.
So there's something about doing the cold plunge and then forcing your body to heat up through a warm-up and then going through your workout that raises testosterone for people. And there was a study that was done where it showed this guy went from having an extremely low testosterone level to having a testosterone level where his doctor thought he was juicing. Wow.
And all he changed was he started doing cold plunge before every workout. Yeah. Put your body under stress. It's not good after workout. Really? No, because you want hypertrophy and you want muscles to grow and strengthen. And part of that growth and strengthening is inflammation. So that inflammation is actually good. Heat, on the other hand, is good after workouts.
So it's good for the effect of it raises your red blood. So that's interesting.
So Dan Gable said he would do a sauna after working out because it raised his endurance.
Yes, it raises your endurance. And the Eastern Bloc athletes already knew that. Fedor was famous for using sauna. Wow. Yeah, Fedor would use sauna and cold plunge. So they use hot and cold therapy. So Huberman recommends doing that once a week. And what you do is you go back and forth and back and forth. You always finish on cold, though. Always allow your body to reheat itself up.
Don't finish on sauna. So you would do cold plunge or sauna, cold plunge, sauna, cold plunge, however many cycles you want to do it. But he said that raises your human growth hormone level. The Swedes do that.
I did that in fucking Sweden where I was with all these Vikings. It's fucking so funny.
The Finnish studies on sauna are amazing. What it's shown, these are long-term studies over 20 years, it shows that people who took the sauna four days a week for 20 minutes at a time at 175 degrees had a 40% decrease in all-cause mortality compared to their peers. What? 40% decrease in all-cause mortality, heart attack, stroke, cancer.
40% decrease because the heat shock proteins, the stress on your body, it makes you more resilient. It makes you more vibrant. You have more energy, and you have less inflammation after it's over.
Wow.
Your body produces those heat shock proteins. You feel amazing when you get out. You feel loose and relaxed. Wow. You have a sauna here? I have a sauna everywhere. I don't fuck around, dude. I even have a portable sauna that I bring with me. It's like a blanket sauna that's one of our sponsors. What's that called? I'll hug you. What's that blanket sponsor sauna called? Find that sucker.
I have to pee. It's really good. You want to pee? Yeah. We'll pee right now. We'll pee right now. We'll be right back. We'll be right back.
There's a scene in a book called Blood Meridian where the guy chops a dude's head off with that fucking knife. Let me see that. Who gave me this?
Someone cool. Don't fucking ruin it for everybody.
I mean, that's a knife. I don't know what you'd do with this if you had to clear a brush.
Yeah, I don't think that's a brush-clearing knife, son.
What is this? It's a hacking knife. Who gave me that? It's when you're coming in and you want to just clear a house.
No, you're an asshole. You have a giant knife on your table. That's what it's for.
What's the knife for? Just in case, bro.
Really?
Yeah. Because you might go crazy. I might go crazy and grab one of those and impale them in the forehead.
Those axes look like they actually would work, too.
Oh, those are real. Yeah. Those are the jack car tomahawks. They look like you can throw them. Well, I don't think you throw them. I think you fucking stir them. Yeah.
Wow.
You know? Ow. You hurt me. Let me put that away. You're making me uncomfortable. Sorry, buddy. I was going to grab it by the blade. Something aggressive about a knife. That's very aggressive. This is a very aggressive knife.
Yeah, that's a ridiculous knife. That's an overkill. Do we know who gave it to me? If somebody wears that on their belt, I'm like, your dick is tiny. That's incredible.
Or you're a fucking complete psycho. Or you're a psycho. Or you're living in downtown Los Angeles right now. That's right. That's right. That's what's going to be really crazy.
Well, I want to see what happens because I think, first of all, rents are going to go through the roof. This is going to be crazy. Where's everybody going to live? It's a major housing shortage. This is a major problem.
Where are you going to live? Where are all those people in the Palisades going to go? There's thousands and thousands and thousands of houses.
I'll tell you what's going to happen, I think. I think people that own houses that are not in fire zones, even if they're small, are going to sell their houses for millions of dollars. Because you've got those very wealthy people going, I need a place, name a price. And your house might be worth $2 million, you're going to sell it for $4 million.
Wow.
I mean, that's what's going to happen.
I really do. That's going to be even more fucked.
It's going to be completely fucked. And remember, Los Angeles has been the worst at building affordable housing or just housing in general. All the permitting you got to go through, all the red tape, they can't do it. There's so many issues. There's so many issues, but especially housing, especially. We have, what is it? I think the Poverty rate in Los Angeles is like second to none.
The schools are terrible. The homeless situation is, I think, the second. But hey, it's sunny.
Yeah, it's sunny. People are really pretty. Yeah, yeah. And there's a lot of TikTok stars there.
There's a lot of TikTok stars, and that's good for our culture. That's good for our culture.
What was the name of that sauna blanket again? Spell it? B-O-N. Bond charge. It's a blanket? Yeah, it's a blanket. Yeah, you can carry it with you when you go on vacation and sauna the shit out of yourself anywhere you go.
Yeah, I'm not doing that, but I appreciate it.
I live by sauna, man. If I had to choose between one thing that I eliminated... Yeah, if I had to take cold plunge or sauna, I would take sauna all day. I think cold plunge is very important, and it's really good for just my mental state. I just like that I force myself to get in there. I like it. I win every day. I win.
Well, I said to you when you signed that deal, I go, I say this to people about you. You've not changed even a little bit. Well, if anything, you've calmed down. You have peace of mind. But you've not changed as like in terms of like, you know, you become a very powerful, influential person. But I've never I haven't seen you change. I haven't seen you like it hasn't gone to your head. I said, why?
And you go, I think it's because I do something really difficult every day. And it just reminds me of what a bitch I am.
Yeah, I break myself down every day. I think that's important. I think it's everything because I think mental health is attached to that. I think too many people have too much anxiety and too much like, whoa.
Success can do that.
Yeah, well, the pressure. And also, I don't read comments, which is huge, you know, because a lot of people out there are reading comments. Never read one comment. I was talking to Zuck about that yesterday. I'm like, you got to stop reading comments. You read comments? Yeah. I'll tell him to stop right now.
Yeah, it's so bad for you. Comments. It's so bad for you. I've never read one, especially good ones. I don't want to hear it because it's going to have power over me. I don't want to hear the good ones either.
I appreciate them. I appreciate people. Even the bad comments. I get it. Look, you know, if I was 15, I would be the worst fucking poster on Twitter of all time. I'd be a total troll. I'd be on 4chan. I'd be on all those things. I'd be talking mad shit all day long.
You know that kid Matan? Matan? He's that kid, this Israeli kid who's like 17 years old and a complete troll. I did his podcast. It was so fun. But he's just like, those kids at that age, they are about just, there's no reverence to anything. No. They want to tear it all down.
They want to tear it all down. Also, it's all about making a living getting eyeballs on you. That's what their business is, eyeballs. So if they can slap someone at a supermarket or fucking scare someone in line at the grocery store or whatever the fuck they do to get attention, that's their currency. Their currency is attention. And if you beat their ass, it's actually good for them.
That's right.
There's no way. Which is really crazy. Yeah. It's just a different time. Yeah. I mean, it's the end of Rome. It's the end of Rome. It's the collapse of a really sick civilization. And the thing that you're seeing with this whole woke fire department, which is...
We're talking about that lady saying, if your husband's in that burning building, that they want someone who looks like me, who looks like them. That's not what they want. But this is all this ideological, bizarre cult that these people have fallen into that leads to the collapse of great civilizations because the people that worked hard to make this very easy life
those people don't get respected. And then the people that you think are the marginalized people that should be elevated through equity, these people that haven't done anything, now you're giving them all the power. And you're also letting them be the bullies of the bullies now, right? So they got picked on their whole life. Now we're kicking ass now. We get things done.
There's Pride Magazine in the whatever website. I'll send you this because it's real. See if you can find that, Jamie, so I don't have to look for it. But the headline said the LBGT fire chief is showing that she can get things done.
Really?
Yeah. This is in the middle of the biggest disaster in the history of Los Angeles. Tone deaf. But saying that she can get it done, shows she can get it done. Like, what is get it done? What does that mean? Run out of water? Collapse society? What does it mean?
I don't know if the blame lays in the fire department, by the way, here. I think, you watch, I'm going to make a prediction. I bet it's just already happening. I promise you that the progressive government in Los Angeles and in Sacramento is going to blame not infrastructure, not government incompetence, not mismanagement, but climate change.
I promise. Well, good luck with that. Here it is. Amid Palisades fire, Los Angeles first LBGTQ plus fire chief is proving lesbians get it done. Excuse me. Lesbians get it done. Not she gets it done. It's even dumber than I thought. She's proving lesbians get it done.
So her sexual proclivity is really what makes it.
So what does that mean? Like Elon Musk is proving heterosexuals build rockets? Is that what that means?
It's just ideas. Identity politics.
It's nonsense. It's nonsense people writing nonsense things. It's so fucking dumb.
It's placing a group above an individual, right? So treat that person like an individual. I don't give a shit that she's into women. I don't care at all.
Who cares? She's great at her job.
If she's competent, I'll fucking vote for her all day. I don't know if she is. I don't know enough about her record.
You can't call it climate change because L.A. has been like that forever. The reason why they filmed in L.A. in the fucking first place is because L.A. doesn't have rain. That's right. That's why they started putting Hollywood down there.
Until what happened? It got too expensive to do business. It got too expensive to shoot in L.A.
Yeah.
Taxes and everything else. It got too expensive. It is too expensive to open restaurants or anything else in L.A. So you've got this great sandwich chain I'm obsessed with called Snarf's, right? I just like their... I think they have one in Austin.
Yeah, you brought them here. I love them. What do you mean you think you have... They brought them here.
Yeah, I brought them here. Yeah. I love their sandwiches, dude. And... You know, that company is so good that I literally was... I want to get involved in the franchise business because I think they're crushing. And they will not open in Los Angeles. It's too expensive. There are too many... A friend of mine who you and I both know has businesses in Texas and businesses in Los Angeles.
And a lot of them, okay? I'll tell you who it is later. Ooh, I love a suspense. So in his California businesses... He's been sued over 1,000 times. I think it's 1,002 times. 1,002 times in the 18 years he's been in business. In Texas, he's been sued once. Once. And in that case, they were right to sue them because they did something wrong.
And it's pretty interesting because there's literally a difference in culture. There's a difference in the notion of I'm responsible for my actions. Somebody else is responsible for the state I'm in. And that is a mind virus that has taken over Los Angeles, taken over California, in my opinion. A lot of this is just mindset.
And I think it's very ironic, with all due respect, because I have a lot of friends who lost houses in the Palisades area and everything else. But... And I... If you had walked through the Palisades, you would have seen a lot—most of them voted for Karen Bass. I'm not saying Karen Bass deserves all this blame, but I'm saying there was a lot of Kamala stuff there, very little Trump stuff.
And it's ironic to me because I do think, to an extent, without having done enough research—but I've done some— that you have to lay at least some of the blame for this total inability to respond to government mismanagement.
And the fact that this government, this progressive government in California, in Sacramento, in Los Angeles, put things like climate change and social justice ahead of fucking basic infrastructure. Basic infrastructure. You knew that they were predicting and they knew how dry this season was. Fucking eight months without rain. Okay, guys?
So we need to figure out there is a way to solve every problem. Do you need an army of firefighters? They cut 17%. I know.
They cut 17%.
$17.6 million from the fire budget in Los Angeles.
Wasn't it 17% or was it 17? $17.6 million. There you go. That's what I read. See if that's true. I thought it was percent, but maybe it's not. I think it's 17.6. Maybe that's what it turned out.
It was 17 million, but it's a thing.
I don't know what that means. It might be 17%. I don't know what that means. It might be they have a $100 million budget, and they cut it down to seven. Either way. Either way. Obviously.
What's that, Jamie? It's like $800 million or something crazy.
Yeah. That's the whole budget?
Yeah, it's a lot.
So they only cut $17 million out of $800 million. But still, why would you cut anything out of one of the most important things? Obviously, now you know. Now you know that was a huge mistake. Now you know you should have increased the budget.
Well, to your point, this was a perfect storm to an extent, and there's a limit to what any fire department can do. There's a limit, right? We live in Los Angeles. Fires are a reality. Earthquakes are a reality. Mudslides are a reality. We know this. California is a tough place to live. It's great, but there are a lot of liabilities.
I just think if you know that that's the case, something went wrong. And our infrastructure, the fact that our fire hydrants and it happened in Colorado three years ago. But the fact that the fire hydrants lost pressure, you can predict these things.
Right. Well, again, I bring it back to Trump because Trump was saying this all could be solved. And he was right. What he was saying is true and that they are doing it to protect a fucking smelt. The Delta smelt. That exists other places.
I love the Delta smelt.
I don't. What does that thing look like? Let me see what a Delta smelt looks like. I don't give a fuck about those things. Neither do I. Yeah, $17 million last year. She directed more. For 2023-2024 fiscal year, Los Angeles allocated $837 million to the Los Angeles Fire Department, accounting for roughly 65% of the $1.3 billion budget designated for homelessness initiatives. Which didn't work.
What? 65% for homelessness initiatives? Which didn't work. Roughly half the budget for homelessness went unspent. These motherfuckers. And let me say something else about that. These motherfuckers.
The homeless thing, too. You talk to progressives about the homeless thing. You know what they'll say? It's a housing shortage. No, it's not. It's a drug and mental health problem. Housing, housing, housing. Sorry.
Housing, housing, housing. And we can't fix it. It's a mental health and drug problem. They spent $24 billion last year. 24 billion in California on homelessness. Yeah, that's what it is. It's a bunch of people making money off of nonprofits. Of course. Yeah.
And so there's a vested interest in keeping homeless a problem.
Yeah. The real problem is that there's homeless at all. Like, how is that possible in the greatest society the world's ever known? But because we've put very little effort into stopping it. Very little effort into education and fixing people's mental health problems and mental health institutions for people that are sick and twisted and real solutions like Ibogaine.
Real things that they can do to sort of reset people's minds and help them get out of it. Real programs to help people integrate back into society in a meaningful way.
I know a guy who was a tier one guy who was dealing with real demons and he did one session of Ibogaine and it changed everything.
Yeah. Well, there's a lot of people like that. I had the former governor of Texas, Rick Perry, on and he was explaining it.
And that's surprising that Rick Perry, who's a Texas conservative.
Yep. Yep. It was very reluctant. And then he knew someone who came back from the war and was suffering and he got involved and now he's an advocate for it.
Repairs the neural pathways or something like that?
Yes. Helps people with Parkinson's disease. Wow. Really? Crazy. Completely rewires the brain of addicted people. Damn. Damn. Stops the pathways, gives you an insight as to why you're addicted in the first place, like what little weird fucking patterns you have in your head. What are you escaping when you're trying to like load up on heroin? It's crazy, but it's illegal.
This is the nuttiest part of it. And this is the beautiful thing about what Rick Perry is trying to do and explaining it very eloquently that it was all established in the 1970s. To combat Richard Nixon's political opponents. So the anti-war movement, the civil rights movement, they made all those drugs illegal.
The sweeping act of 1970, the Psychedelic Drug Act, where they were just trying to demonize these things that these people were using. That was like, you know, the flower child movement, the hippies, the anti-war people. They're like, we need to figure out a way to lock these motherfuckers up.
Well, they did a really interesting study on, or there was a guy, a journalist, I can't remember who it was talking about. They drew this comparison when the 60s music movement happened with Hendrix and all those guys. When they were taking psychedelics, incredible things were going on musically. Oh, yeah. Once they turned to cocaine and heroin, the music fucking died. Hairbands.
Yeah. Well, I was bringing it back to cars, you know, because I'm a car freak. The cars of the 1960s were the greatest fucking cars America has ever created in terms of the way they looked, the iconic view, the image of those things. And it all died around 70, 71. Everything after 71 is a piece of shit. Why? Except a few Corvettes look cool.
But because they needed to become, first of all, then there's the gas crisis. So cars started becoming less powerful and more economical. And then they started making them out of plastic and they just looked like shit. And then they weren't doing the drugs anymore. So the design sucked.
If you go back to design, like one of the classics that I always put out, like let's look at a 1969 Boss Mustang. So this is acid, marijuana, whatever. These people that were designing these cars were like freaks. They were weirdos. Yeah. You know, because they were artists. And they designed these things. To this day, you look at them, you go, fuck.
Fuck.
Look at that. Look at that. That's the reason why John Wick killed everybody. That's what it is. They stole his car. They killed his puppy and they stole that car. And John Wick killed everybody. That is a fucking work of art, man.
Whiplash, fucking engine closing.
Goddamn, that's a work of art. Not safe. That is one of the most beautiful things human beings... Fuck the Sistine Chapel. That's one of the most beautiful things human beings have ever created. Look at that goddamn thing.
Is that a catalytic converter or a carburetor?
Shut your mouth about that. This is Texas. Pull all that stuff off and fucking roll coal right on the highway.
It gets like a... Fuck a gallon.
Yeah, my Raptor, my Hennessy Raptor that has 1,000 horsepower, I get nine miles to the gallon. Suck my dick. It's so stupid. Look at that thing. That is a different one. That's a classic restoration. Does nothing for me. That's incredible. Classic Creations does a resto mod version of it, but that's the right from the factory version. Both of them are gorgeous.
Is it coming electric?
They do make them in electric, honestly. Come on. Yeah, there's a company that takes old cars and turns them electric.
That's sacrilege, I guess.
Well, a lot of people have a problem with it. Everati does it.
I like the old Aston Martins.
Those are cool as fuck. Gorgeous, man. Those are incredible. Pull up Everati. Everati is a company that takes old Porsches and they do old Mustangs and they convert them and make them fully electric. Wow. Yeah. Wow. But they look really cool, but- You're missing the whole point. Of course. The whole point is it's a work of art. It's a mechanical experience.
I drove a 1985 Porsche Targa. Dude, it's a stick shift. Oh, yeah. What a beautiful car. You feel everything, but God damn, it's beautiful. I mean, you're just zipping it.
Well, it's so light, too. It's so engaging. That's a great car. Oh, my God. Those are the best.
That's the only time I've driven a car and I went, I get it. I've never been into cars.
Old Porsches. Incredible.
I drive a Tesla 3 with white interior, white exterior. I wanted to be as gay as I could.
It's still an incredible car. It's a great car. So they do a bunch of different stuff. So let's go to the Porsche 911 964 signature. So look at that. So they take this 964 Porsche, which is one of the most beautiful years, and they turn it into this insane electric beast.
Damn.
Yeah, incredible car, man. I mean, sub-zero, zero to 60, sub-four seconds.
I drove the new electric Porsche.
But look at the range. Up to 200 miles. Shut the fuck up with that range. That range is nonsense. Up to 200 miles is when you're driving really slow.
Yeah, that's 100 miles.
But I bet that thing is super sick to drive, and God damn, it looks beautiful. But wouldn't it be better if it went... When you started it up? I think it should be... You want to hear that. That should be gas. Yeah, you want to feel the engagement of the clutch. You want to pull the gear lever down in a second. You want to let off the clutch and hit the gas. You want to feel it.
I like what they're doing. I think it's cool, whatever. I'd take that car and I'd gut it. I'd gut it and put a fucking real engine in it. It looks beautiful, but...
What can I pick one of those up for like a regular car? A regular one?
A 964. There's a bunch of different companies.
There's a company called- Not electric.
I'm talking about- No, no, no. A regular one. There's a company that specializes in air-cooled Porsches. Go to Sloan. What's air-cooled? Sloan. That's those, the old ones. The ones that you drove, that 1980s one, that's an air-cooled one. Love that car. The old ones are the ones that, yeah, that's it. So this place specializes in Porsches, but particularly air-cooled Porsches.
100%.
How much is that? Oh, it's got to be very expensive. That's a beautiful car. With such low miles, that thing's probably meticulously maintained. It looks incredible.
So you're not picking that thing up from this thing?
No, no, no. That's an expensive car. 100 grand? And by the way, not very fast. It's not fast. You're missing the point. But it's the handling. It's the feel. It's the experience of driving. It is so analog. It probably doesn't even have power steering.
Fuck, it's brand new.
Oh, it's basically brand new. Whoever kept that, amazing. They probably sell that for... A couple hundred thousand dollars. A couple hundred? Yeah. Jesus. At least.
Okay.
I would imagine. I mean, it says contact us for pricing. But if you want to get one like that, a stellar model with 20... Look, if you get a 911 from 1970, like a 911 RS, a good example is a million dollars. What? Yes. Yes. Oh, Jesus. Google 1971 911 RS Immaculate for sale. I guarantee you they're over a million dollars. Yeah.
Because there's just very few of them.
And your Model 3 will blow that thing away in every way, shape, or form. Of course. Handling, speed, especially if you have the Model 3 performance.
That's why I like my car so much. I like the Tesla. It's... I love it.
They just go... So easy. Yeah. They make every other car seem stupid. I know. But it's a different experience than driving that thing. That thing is an amusement park ride. Yeah.
That thing is a- That's like grinding your own coffee. It's something about it.
There's a manual.
The sensations. There's a tactile sensation.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lighting your own fire on the grill and cooking over hardwood coals.
I think there's a huge value to that, like cooking. Oh, yeah. The fact that it takes- You take time to get good at something like cooking the perfect beef stew or whatever the fuck it is.
Oh, yeah. Especially if you're cooking over fire. It brings you this caveman DNA section of your brain.
The smell of wood. Oh, yeah.
Also, it makes the food taste better.
Convenience and abundance comes with a price like everything else. Sometimes that's a lack of connection. Sometimes just the actual process of doing shit, like the actual process of preparation and all that is a form of flow.
that you get into there's a great book called Beyond Boredom and Anxiety by Csikszentmihalyi I don't know what the fuck his name is he's like this Hungarian scientist he compares the flow state that rock climbers surgeons painters and conductors get into and it's all very similar because it takes incredible concentration when you're rock climbing and you don't want to fall I bet the rock climbers look at the painters like bitch you are not in the same flow state as me motherfucker no they're not because it's life and death right
Cool site that shows the average sales like it's a stock almost. So five have been sold for an average of $708,000. Oh, my God. Isn't that crazy?
My Lord.
That's crazy. That's insane. 2.5 million.
2.5 million for that one. Click on that. Can you click on that so I can see it? I've got to see how a couple more tickets stand up. Does it let you see what it looks like? There it is. Let's see if we could find it. God. By the way. A lot of that is like a dick measuring contest, like that I have a pristine model.
They don't drive it.
This is like a Jerry Seinfeld type vehicle. He would own one of those. I have a 1993 RS America. It's a 964. I know you've seen it, that little red Porsche that I have. No power steering, no air conditioning, no nothing. It doesn't have a radio. It doesn't have jack shit.
It's so raw.
it's so raw it's it's it's raw and rowdy it sounds loud you feel everything every time i drive and i'm like why don't i drive do you remember when i used to have that that bronco bronco yeah 1971 with a 350 windsor whatever the fuck it was i don't know any carburetor i remember you came to my house and that dude i would get dizzy on the highway
From the gas fuse.
Fucking the gas fuse.
And it had no top. Dude, I thought I was going to pass out. I was like, I went to the mechanic. I think I'm going to pass out. I was all panicked. You know, he goes, it's just the way it is. I go, what do you mean it's the way it is?
You're dying slowly, but you're living more.
Fucking sold that thing for 500 bucks or something. I don't know.
100%.
I think it's pretty irrational. You got to have a little bit of fun in you.
There's a fun auction coming up in a month. Oh, yeah? All these are for sale coming from Paris.
Oh, that Alfa Romeo, that little thing right there? That little Alfa Romeo 1965? I guarantee you that's fun as fuck to drive, too.
It looks shitty to me.
Oh, it looks shitty, but I'm telling you, you feel every fucking bump on the road through your ass. Yeah. I never got into those 356 Porsches. Yeah. I think those look like a fucking VW bug. They do look like a VW bug. They look stupid. Yep. But to the right of it, the 92 RS? That's cool. That's what I have. Yeah. I have one of those with a ducktail. I have a red one with a ducktail. I love it.
Yeah. I love it.
Well, you know what it is? They have a personality. There's something about getting into... I had a girlfriend who had a vintage Mercedes, and I swear to God, I got attached to that car. It felt like an experience. I would get in there, and it had a personality almost. It was like... 100%.
100%.
Because somebody had made that. Somebody had taken the time. A lot of that shit's made by hand, I think. Right.
Well, they're definitely put together by hand. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, especially back then.
100%.
Like when something's really considered by craftsmen and you can't, you cannot replace the feel of like something that's been crafted out of leather.
1970.
Look at that, son. Oh my goodness. That's a beautiful piece of machinery.
It's an artistic, it's an expression of artistry, man.
That is such a gorgeous car.
Yeah.
That is fucking beautiful.
That's European, brother.
And it's so light. Those cars are so light, dude. That's like a 2,000-pound car. Really? Yeah, they're so little. Yeah, when you're near them, they're so little.
You know how much my three weighs? Almost 6,000 pounds.
Oh, they're very heavy. Isn't that crazy? They fuck up those borders. It's a fucking tank. What are they called? The rails, guardrails. They go right through those things because they're too heavy. Dude. Car cars are meant for regular sized cars. Look how gorgeous that is. Look at that damn thing, man. God, it's so beautiful. Fire extinguisher. That guy maintained that motherfucker.
That guy knows how to drive, I bet.
Look at that steering wheel.
I picture myself in a tweed coat. Oh, it's so gorgeous. I bet that's 150,000. How much is that? It's going to be auctioned.
It's estimated for 180 euros.
180 years so more so 180 euros is like 200 and something thousand which makes sense It's fucking beautiful man, and they don't make them anymore You know if you want one of those and when you drive it I guarantee you have a fucking smile You'll have a fucking smile on your face.
It only has 180 horsepower Jesus yes, they're not they're not fast No, even mine is 300 mine only has three doors, and I had it juiced up a little bit to get to 300 I was gonna say yeah, it's almost give you worms. It's not fast not fast. No I No, but it doesn't matter. It's just fun. It's engaging.
You used to like big trucks, too, though. You like the Denali's and stuff.
Oh, yeah. Well, I have the Raptor. It was a Hennessy Raptor. You know why? I like to see what's going on over there. I don't want to be at the same height as the cars. When someone slams on the brake, you can't see what's going on. Well, up here, you can see someone doing something stupid like five cars ahead. You're like, oh, Jesus. And it's safer. Way safer. To be in a lifted truck is safer.
100%.
That is very important. Yeah. It's very important. The elevated viewpoint for a safety perspective is important. Right. Yeah, and you get used to that. You like it a lot.
That's the kind of car you take out on a countryside. Oh, yeah, man. And you wear a scarf.
You wear gloves.
Gloves, scarf, and you wear the glasses. I want to be European so badly sometimes. And your lady's doing this. You're going too fast. Yeah.
You don't go with a girl. Go by yourself. By yourself? Yeah, you don't go with a girl. You don't want to hear that. Shut the fuck up about TikTok. That's different. That's hot. Well, that's preposterous. That's a $4 million car. That's a Pagani. I don't even know how to say that. How do you say that?
It looks like an Arachnid.
That's a monstrous vehicle.
Yeah, but it's also ridiculous. I mean, does it come with a Batman suit?
Here's the thing. That's all great. That's all fast. But that can't fuck with a new Corvette.
It's a track car for sure.
It's a track car, but it's not even as good as a track car as a new Corvette. The new Corvette ZR1 is one of the greatest cars the world has ever built. It has over 1,000 horsepower. Right. A thousand. Over a thousand horsepower for the new Corvette ZR1. It does zero to 60 in under three seconds. It's going to break all the records. It's probably going to break Nürburgring records.
It hasn't even been released yet. It's a fucking amazing car. It's the greatest American car ever by far.
Because it's just reliability, everything, or what?
Everything. They're reliable. They're fucking incredible looking. They look like an exotic car. This is the new ZR1. Does it have volume? Can we hear what it sounds like?
Hi, I'm Brad Frowns from Chevrolet Marketing.
Brad, you fucking knocked it out of the park, Brad. This is an amazing vehicle. This vehicle's faster, handles better than that stupid fucking $5 billion car. That thing's the shit. That's America, fuck yeah, in a car. I mean, it's so stupid. How could you go to a dealership? Look at that, carbon fiber wheels. How can you go to a dealership and buy a 1,100 horsepower car? That's insane.
Look at it with a giant wing on the back of it. It shouldn't be, but it is. And that's why it's America! Motherfucker! Look at that thing. Drag to rotate.
Is that fin that was on there necessary?
Yes. Yes, because you want to look like an asshole.
That looks great.
Yeah, you can get it without the fin.
Because you want to look like an asshole.
That looks good. It's downforce. It gives you more downforce. So it'll actually slow your top end speed so the high end speed will be like 205 miles an hour instead of 215 or whatever the fuck it is.
I like that. That's a good look right there.
It's a gorgeous car. I don't like that stupid fin. That is a fucking beautiful machine.
Does the fin come up or something?
Well, no. It's adjustable, but it's downforce for the track.
Yeah, I like that.
That is an amazing car for the track.
That's a good-looking car.
And they make them in a convertible. Check out the convertible. They won't break your bank probably, right?
Or are they very expensive?
It's about $200,000 before markup and all that other jazz. I think it's 2.3 seconds, 0 to 60. Let's fucking go. 9-second quarter mile right from the factory. Holy shit. Motherfucker. A nine second fucking. That's what you need. That's what you need, Callum. You do. It's very important. When your special kicks it and you start selling out giant theaters. Dude. Let's go.
Let's go, baby.
Let's get a little.
When you run away from looters. Once I start selling theater tickets.
Yeah. Once you get the fuck out of Los Angeles.
I know. I got to do that. You've been telling me that a long time.
Listen, this might be the one. I talked to my wife.
I hope it is. But I have my other kids, so I have two families.
Talk them into it, too. I know. If they come out here, they'll realize, oh, my God, what have I been doing? What the fuck were we doing?
Plus, when you're on the road like me, traveling from Texas is way easier than traveling from fucking Los Angeles.
Ron White told me that in 2018 when I started thinking about Austin. Jesus. He moved here before any of us. Ron White was the original. He was the original, the Texas setup, because he's from Texas. He goes, I fucking love Austin. Food's great. People are nice. It's in the middle of the country. You can travel anywhere. I was like, what? wow, can I live in Texas? I started thinking about it.
Like, can I live in Texas? And then when COVID hit, Ron being here was one of the things that moved me here.
Really?
Yeah, I was like, I love Ron. At least I can hang out with Ron.
You want to talk about one of the greatest comics, period? I watched that motherfucker and I'm like, and he's still doing it at his age.
Killing it. How old is he? He's a thousand years old. Yeah. And he's better now than ever.
Unbelievable.
Better than ever. I love that. And he's at the club every night. He's there all the time. All the time. Killing it. Killing it. Incredible. Incredible. And just the best fucking human being. He's just the best guy. Yeah, he seems like it. So when he was coming here in 2018, I was like, maybe I could go. I don't know. I can't live in Texas. Because I had always been trying to escape LA forever.
But then it's like my business was there. The comedians were there. And the store was there. And there was so many things there. It took something like COVID to make us all just take this crazy chance and move to Texas.
Yeah. Well, these fires, I feel like these fires are kind of almost like my wake-up call.
Very much like the same thing. Very much like the same thing. It's the same kind of experience. Hand me that bad boy.
You're going to have one too, huh?
Yeah, let's go, man. Come on, baby. Come on.
We're smoking cigars like men. I like this new thing.
Having a guy like Ron here, though, was like, okay, well, at least I'll have Ron as a friend. And then Tony moved here. I was like, oh, shit, Tony's here. And then I remember one time I talked to Segura, and I was like, dude, it's fucking awesome. I love it here. He's like, fuck it, I'm moving. Really? He was here quick. How do I open this? Yeah. Oh, you just... Here, you can use this one.
I'm an idiot. I'm like... I can't figure shit out. How come you can't figure things out? Because I'm bad with that stuff, okay? That's why my wife was like, get out of here. You can't do it. I'll take care of it. I'm like, raise my kids. Save them. Tell my story. I'll be in Austin. Sorry about the fires. Tell them to watch your special. Tell all the kids at school to watch Daddy Special.
Watch Daddy Special. It's going to be good. False gods. I'm excited, man.
Are you going to put it on YouTube? Yeah. That's the move.
Yeah, I think so, right?
YouTube's the move because you get the most views for sure. Like, look at Shane. I'm proud of him, too. That's awesome. You get a great set, you put a great set, and the club is the best place to film. The audiences are so hyped. Well, that's what I thought.
I was like, I would rather, like, shoot it here, you know? Mm-hmm. Because you did that club right, man. You did that club right. It makes such a difference. Yeah. Well.
A lot of it's because of Ron. If it wasn't for Ron, and then one time when we did shows, we were doing shows at the Vulcan, and Ron hadn't gone on stage in like eight months. And he got off stage, and he grabbed me by the shoulders. He goes, whatever the fuck we got to do, we're going to keep doing this. He goes, you got to open up that club. I was like, okay. I got to open up the club. Wow.
Because I was like, I got to open up a club. You know, it was one of those things like, I'm so fucking busy. How am I going to do this?
It's a lot, right?
How am I going to handle this? How am I going to handle the stress of the business and 100 employees and – It turns out you don't have to. Just get really good people to run it for you. That's it.
That's it. I get a kick out of you because I don't know. You still have, like, for this podcast, what, three people that work for you? I mean four, but, you know, more than that.
Well, yeah, we have Brandon, our video editor. We have Matt, who books everything, young Jamie, and moi.
Yeah.
That's it.
My buddies, they're going to start a podcast. Well, we've got to get a production team. We've got to get this and that. I'm like, hey, bro.
Well, you're going to need a production team if you don't have Jamie. The thing is, Jamie's a wizard. He's a monster. And he's also a little bit on the spectrum. Which side? The good side. The good side. You're on the good side. You're on the fun side. You're like totally socially aware.
You're fun to hang with. He's like a stoic.
But Jamie's just on the ball and like his ability to pull things up while we're talking about him, while he's managing the podcast, like no one could do that. You need like a team of people to do what he does. But then you've got to deal with a team of people that are just like – one of the coolest things about Jamie is how, like, first of all, we're friends. And he's the easiest to hang out with.
Like, Jamie's so easy to hang out with. So it doesn't matter who's in this room. There's no weirdness or like, oh, this guy is complaining about that guy out there.
And he's not trying to be – Anything he's not. So what happens in that position is that's kind of a big job. Right. And it'd be very easy to go, I'm part of this podcast. I'm a huge part of it. He doesn't get his ego.
Well, that's happened to a few friends of mine where they had to get rid of their producer because the producer was like, you know, we did this. And he's like, hey. Hey, hey, hey. You pointed cameras at a comedian that was already famous. Like, cut the shit. Like, this is fucking stupid.
We all have our role. We all do our thing.
Yeah, but it's like what happens with a lot of these people is they develop these podcasts and then they have, I go to my friend's podcast and he has 10 people working for him. And I was like, what are all these people doing? What do they do? What are they doing? This is crazy. Why do you have all these people? And then they have interns. You have people working.
100%.
I don't even know if you're allowed to pay certain interns because they're supposed to get like, I would break the law. I'd break the law to pay them.
Just give me a paid intern. It's fine.
Can you have a paid intern in a college? Yeah.
I think what happens is it builds resentment if you're not- 100%. You got to be careful with all that.
Well, that's a problem with rich people when they have assistants too. Yeah. Like Al Madrigal had an assistant once. He was like, yeah, I got to get an assistant. I go, no, you don't. I go, listen to me. Do less shit. Just do less shit. If you need an assistant, you don't- You do less things.
I remember when David Spade had an assistant, the dude tried to duct tape him, and the guy, he tasered him. He was going to kill him.
Yeah.
Fuck.
Henry VIII said something like that. He said, every time I promote somebody, I create eight enemies and one ingrate. Something like that. I think that was the quote.
Ooh.
It's great.
Yeah, but didn't he kill a bunch of his wives?
He was terrible. Henry VIII was a fucking idiot. Maybe he's just a piece of shit. You know what he did, right? So the Catholic Church, he wanted a son, and his wife was barren, and he wanted an heir, and the Catholic Church would not... Codify his divorce. So he was like, okay, I'm gonna start the Anglican Church fuck off I'm gonna start my own church and it's gonna okay.
It's gonna be okay with divorce So he created the Anglican Church and the great story of a man for all seasons Thomas Sir Thomas more was Thomas more would not join the Anglican Church and they killed him for it And he said I am more than my appetites.
I am more than you know, my body I am my principles and my principles are higher and I'm gonna stick to the Catholic Church kind of like, you know I wish I was
No shit, right? I'd be like, yo, dude, just join the other church.
Well, we all would, right?
Get a lot of shit done. Okay?
All right? I was in acting class. As you remember that. And one of the... Kind of a famous actor. He did the scene. This is so great. He did the man for all seasons. And as he... So you do a scene. And a lot of working actors in the class. This is Los Angeles. And we all sit back. And now the great teacher will now break it apart. And he... The actor began to weep.
And they said, why are you crying? And he says, because I'm not this man. I would have joined the Anglican church. And it bothers me that I'm not the kind of principled man that would stick to.
At least he knows. That was pretty cool. At least he's not that guy. I wish I was a Navy SEAL. I'd kill everybody.
He was one of my favorite actors, too. And I was like, there you go. At least you know your fucking limitations.
Yeah.
Never say what you would do in an emergency because you don't know.
Also probably why he's a great actor because he was aware of everything. I think so. Of like the differences between him and those other people, you know.
Well, you better know you're vulnerable. Like, you walk around like a tough guy. Right. The real tough guys are the guys that have done a lot of shit or who've seen a lot of combat or at least been involved in, like, Evan Hafer, for example, has probably done a lot more than he... He never talks about any of it.
You'll never hear him say anything, but... And for that matter, Andy Stump's the same way. They don't really tell you anything, but... They're very aware that, first of all, it's very easy to be killed. Very easy. I don't care how strong you are, what you bench. A tiny child can kill you with a gun. Right away. So you get a real sense.
Part of what's really good about just doing combat sports or doing any kind of, like, even a rough sport, contact sport, is that you come into contact with objective reality. It's very hard to start living this fake existence. And part of the problem, I think, with our society is a lot of people controlling the narrative.
don't really pay a price for being wrong because they live a life and they live a job where they're working, where they're working with their mouth. They're working with only their brain. And I think you get a lot from actually trying to grow your own food or doing whatever it is.
You know, you've got to kind of come in, you own a farm and you realize that life eats life and things, everything of nature, mother nature is a motherfucker and wants to kill everything you try to grow. It gives you a very different perspective on reality and what the world is about.
Oh, for sure. Well, that's a giant problem with urban environments. That's why urban environments all get to these sort of esoteric, philosophical ideas about what society would be like. Because they're completely separated from the circle of life. They're buying all their food from either a restaurant or a grocery store. They're not farming. They're not doing anything.
They're enjoying meat without any death.
Right. You ever see Steven Pinker's book, The Blank Slate? Those people have never been in contact with anybody white or Western, and the guys that get laid the most are the guys that kill the most people in combat and have their hair on their daggers. So they have their version of a fucking all-star quarterback, too, and he gets all the pussy. And they were like, what the fuck?
And they literally attacked their reputations and everything. They drove them out of academia.
It's crazy. Turns out that was truth. It should be obvious. It should be obvious. There's been a series of events that human beings have gone through that have developed this certain people. We understand. It's an understanding that certain people are better at survival. Certain people are better at being the leader. Certain people are better at warriors.
And life takes a certain amount of aggression and competitive spirit or you're going to fucking get eaten.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, you're going to get fucked is really what happens. That's right. For sure. So don't – it's great. I love that we're all – it's all utopian until your kids don't have enough to eat. And then I'm going to kill – that's what happens. People are really kumbaya until your kids – have to struggle for resources, and then they become genocidal.
Jared Diamond, who wrote Guns, Germs, and Steel, did the study with the fucking people up in the Guinea highlands. The minute they started running out of resources, they would start coming up with stories about the other tribe over there that were basically, yeah, they eat their own kids. Yeah, they're fucking really evil.
Just to whip up, just to justify what they were about to do to that other tribe because they got their stuff.
Yeah. Human beings. I mean, there's beautiful things in urban environments and society where you don't have to struggle. You don't have to do that. So you can get much more involved in art.
You get more cooperative.
There's a lot of things that people can achieve when they have that sort of shelter. But there's a balance to be achieved in our society, the influence. And the problem is the influence of these people that are detached in urban environments is so significant because there's so many of them.
There's so many more people that are detached than are connected that we have this very weird appreciation and understanding of resources and of just how hard it is to just survive without modern conveniences.
I think what changed me a lot was when I was younger, I was accidentally around some pretty rough people, some criminals, people that were –
bad violent or you know um and i think i remember going i remember it's very scary when you're around people that are you know like that and i never forgot it because i was pretty naive as most of us are coming up because i'd been around a good family and stuff like that and i saw how ugly and dangerous Some men can be, especially when nobody's looking. And I never forgot the idea.
Especially in the areas that you grew up. That's right.
I mean, I lived in. Remember, also, I was in the war in Lebanon.
Right.
So I think you I was I left and I was I left Lebanon when I was. I was 11 years old.
Yeah, so just imagine experiencing that as a 10-year-old boy.
Yeah, and then I went back. I went back when I was, I think, 15, 16, and I didn't recognize anything from my childhood. So I was in Lebanon for five years. And so I had wonderful memories. And then the war broke out and we were stuck. My father couldn't get back in because he was... And then we got evacuated. But I was living in the Holiday Inn for six months. And we had to sleep on the floor.
And then finally we had to go down into the fucking underground parking lot because they were bombing. And you would wake up and you would hear machine guns and stuff. So you felt very out of sorts and very, very... It was very scary. You're a kid. And I remember seeing – on a balcony, I remember seeing planes bomb a gas station. I never forgot it.
I never forgot seeing the planes come in and the missiles dropped and just – the sound, dude, the sound. And I don't know if anybody who's been in war knows this, but I was on the beach. I was on Coral Beach. and it probably was in the 80s. I was 14, 15, 16, whatever I was. They shot a rocket over our head, okay? And I think it was a test fire.
Dude, when I tell you that the sound was so loud that we all fell on the ground. I fell down on the sand. The sound was so disoriented that everybody went down on their hands and knees. That's how loud it was over your head. And I think that when you are in that kind of proximity to...
violence like that and then later on when I was older I was around some people who were pretty rough you know and for me I always I knew that if the grid broke down that those people were going to take over and there was going to be no fucking mercy and I've never forgot that and so you could see with COVID the minute That law enforcement had to restrict their resources. You saw what happened.
Looting. You saw crime. You saw homelessness. And the fabric of a society can break down so fucking quickly. People don't realize it. Until you've been in countries where it's happened. And until you've been around... Men who negotiate the world in a violent way and maybe in ways that are a little bit outside the law. You don't know what you're doing, man. You've got no idea. So all those people.
And I love when the left starts talking about. you know, violent revolution and you're in college kid, you have no fucking idea. You don't, first of all, don't wake up that and don't wake up the conservative. Don't do that.
Let's not even talk about it because I know a lot of guys that shoot real straight, you know, and often and yeah, and often and they're very comfortable and they're comfortable in those violent spaces.
They're kind of ready.
They're there. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Let's not, let's not, let's not let those dogs slip.
Have you seen John McPhee? Yeah, I have. The mayor of Baghdad? That'd be a good example of a guy. That is a guy.
His body just comes from enforcement. His traps, he just looks like a giant block. He's a born enforcer. He's not going to win a Nobel Prize for peace.
No.
You ever hear how Tim Kennedy talked about him?
Yeah.
You put him in a glass case and break in case of war?
Yeah. Yeah.
Let's keep those guys on a – let's keep them over here on a leash.
Thank God that guy found jiu-jitsu too. Give him an outlet.
Yes. And please understand the base of our republic also is that we have civilian control of a military. And that was a huge – in the election between I think Madison and Jefferson, the idea was – was it Madison or was it – Adams, I can't remember. But in the election was, should we have a standing army?
Because traditionally in a republic, if you had a standing army, a very charismatic general like Napoleon would take over the army and take over the country. So that was a huge thing. James Madison was a genius at figuring out how to limit that. And he said, checks and balances, but you have to have civilian government in control of the military because military people arrive at military solutions.
Yeah. Fucking really important, man. Really important. Don't let guys like John McPhee, you need him in war, but God bless.
Well, you've had Eric Prince on your podcast, right? Very smart guy. Have you had him on? No, I haven't.
Man, I really enjoyed having him on.
He was another guy who was talking about what to do with Africa, and I was like, Jesus.
Well, yeah.
Yeah.
He used the word viceroy, and he did it on purpose. It's like- But Eric comes from a position of how to solve problems. Yeah. When he was talking about Gaza, he said, we have the ability to frack. What that means is we can drill sideways. He said, you could have filled those tunnels with seawater instead of bombing the shit out of 70% of it and killing all those people.
You could have flooded those fuckers out. Because you drill... And I don't know if this is true. I don't know anything about fracking. But he does. And he said, you could have drilled fucking... this way, take the Mediterranean, fill all those tunnels with seawater, and they would have had to come up, and you would have been just fine, and just position people when they come out of the water.
Why didn't they choose that? A good question. The same reason that in Afghanistan, they had an oil reserve there in Afghanistan that was well-capped by the Soviets. Well-capped. We could have taken that cap off, and that oil, they had enough oil to not only fuel the entire country, but the whole war effort right there for about nine cents a gallon.
But instead, we would get our oil from Saudi Arabia, et cetera, and have to ship it through Pakistan with all the roadblocks. It was about 900 bucks a gallon or some crazy shit. He was on my thing talking about it.
This video says he presented a plan to do it. It says blocked by the Pentagon.
Let's hear this. Put your headphones on. Eric's a smart dude.
provided the Israelis a fully funded, donated ability to flood Gaza with water, with sea water, to flood the 300 miles of tunnels blocked by the Pentagon. Our stuff isn't working that well in Ukraine. The Navy has been ineffective in Yemen. The U.S.
has given very bad advice, very mixed advice in Gaza, preventing the Israelis from finishing it or even preventing from ending that war in a clever way.
Yeah, he's very smart. And Eric is, he's a problem solver. You can say whatever you want about him, but I really enjoy, he's a very smart guy. And I know people that work with him and for him.
Well, if the shit goes down, you need people like that. You need people that know how to solve problems. Yeah, yeah. But also, you know. You can't have some overweight lesbian that says that if you're trapped in a building, you already made a mistake. You're already fucked up. You need me to carry you. Is that really what she said? You want to hear it? Yeah, I do. Let me hear it.
Jamie, you can probably find it, right?
Just so you can outrage me and give me more energy.
I certainly have it in here. I know I can find it if you just give me a moment. It's just, it's so ridiculous. You hear her say it and you're like, what are you even saying? Here it is. I found it. It's not AI, right? No, no, no, no. Here, Jamie.
This AI shit's getting crazy.
I've had to call you and ask you. I called you. I was like, is this AI? It's really hard to tell. Headphones on again because you're going to have to hear it because it's so crazy. It's so ridiculous.
house, your emergency, whether it's a medical call or a fire call, that looks like you. It gives that person a little bit more ease, knowing that somebody might understand their situation better. Is she strong enough to do this? Or you couldn't carry my husband out of a fire. Which my response is, he got himself in the wrong place if I have to carry him out of a fire.
Oh, wow. Oh, that's helpful.
That is such a crazy way to look at things. The correct answer is no, I cannot, but I can do other things.
Right.
Yeah, and we are going to need people that can carry people out of buildings because that is a part of the job. Yeah. It's not he got himself in a bad situation.
Only if you want to save lives. Yeah. But again, this is social justice. Social justice. No, they care about representation. Ideology over effectiveness. Ideology over utility.
One of the things we saw during the 2024 election is massive chunks of California turned red that had never been red before. And I suspect that that trend will continue and be even further and flip the top.
There's a limit to what you can do. People, you know, they're not stupid. Americans, they reach their boring point.
Yeah. I think we're going to get to a point where they wake up and you're going to have to have someone come in and clean up the mess. I think the greatest... Someone's going to have to be socially liberal, but fiscally conservative and pragmatic and realistic. But they're going to have to be a person like you or I, who supports gay rights, supports women's rights, supports equal rights.
Of course. But also... The thing is don't hire people that aren't qualified for a job because you don't want to hire white people. That's crazy. Hire everybody that's qualified and then make everybody else more qualified.
Make everybody rise to the same level.
That's why sports are great. Right. Figure out a way to fix all your fucking urban problems. If you have $24 billion every year just for homelessness, imagine what that could have been done to clean up communities.
Exactly.
Because you haven't done a goddamn thing about homelessness and all those people should be held accountable.
Well, that's because they, again, they're framing the problem wrong. If you talk to those people, you talk to the people in charge of homelessness. A lot of times, I'm not saying a lot of them are, look, a lot of them are good people and a lot of them are smart and they know a lot more about it than I do.
So I don't like being the guy who's talking about like, but I'm just saying I like to be fair. I want to be fair. But I think when you're framing it just as a housing problem and an inequality problem, it's a fucking,
It's a bunch of people profiting. I mean, Coleon Noir, when he was on the podcast, explained that to me for the first time. He said when he was in San Francisco, he said, what is going on? Do they just need more money? He's like, no, you don't understand. It's the opposite. It's like there's a business now in keeping homelessness there because there's people that are making a quarter.
Quarter million dollars a year, and they're just working on the homeless problem, and they're failing. We got 31,000 new homeless people this year. It's just failure.
And, you know, California was always, including under Democratic governors, California was always known as a place that was run very, very well with really responsible civic employees for a long time under Reardon and that and stuff.
Yeah. Well, it's collapsing under the weight of its own bullshit. Oh, did I tell you?
So I had... I was with Arnold Schwarzenegger and I asked him, what was it like to be governor? And one of the things I got was that how little power he, he was not able to get a lot of things done, but I'll give you a classic example. He said, and I'm sorry if I'm paraphrasing, but he said something, he said, there was a water issue.
And he said, these farmers over here are not using all that water. So here's ready. Here's what you do. Just take the water they're not using and give it to this, this part of the state over here. Let's not be able to just pipe it over here. And his senators said, Mr. Governor, you can't do that. He said, why?
He goes, because now you're asking me to go and ask my constituents to give up some of their water. They're going to use that against me in my next election. So Schwarzenegger goes, so then what the fuck are we going to do? And he goes, here's what you're going to do. You're going to make a speech and you're going to say exactly what you just said to us.
And we're going to say yes, but then we're not going to really let it happen. Right. And he goes, that's how this works. He goes, how you're learning, baby. That's fucking California state politics.
Well, that is where Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy come in. Maybe. Department of Government Efficiency. Maybe. For sure. Maybe. I don't know what they're going to be able to get done.
Let me give you an example. So- Pete Hegseth seems like a great guy. I'm a fan. I don't know much about him, but he seems like the kind of guy I'd like to hang out and have a beer with. I'm sure he's very smart. Princeton, I think. Harvard. Bronze star. Wrote four books. Awesome. I'm sure he'll be a very effective Secretary of Defense.
However, that job, this DOD, I think has a million point one employees and a budget of $750 billion, maybe $850 billion. Now, just that is a massive, massive company, essentially. And that requires management on a different level. That skill set is very specific and very, very difficult and very strange. It doesn't mean that because you are a great soldier, you can necessarily do that.
And I'm saying I'm not I'm just using it as an example. So we have to get down to brass tacks and take politics out of this and get real fucking practical with all this stuff. I think with Elon Musk and with Vivek Ramaswamy, the US government is a very complicated organism and massive and does a lot of shit none of us even know about. You know, I always use this as an example.
Who the fuck keeps geese out of the airfields? The Department of Agriculture. Who keeps falcons on hand at most airports? Peregrine falcons. You know who does? The Department of Agriculture. You know why? Because they're territorial birds. They keep all the other birds out of the airfield. You know how to do that? Because I don't.
Who gets sheep to graze at a higher altitude because of global warming and they don't want to graze when it's really hot? I don't know, but we have to do that if you want mutton and fucking wool. And there are scientists that have to figure that out. They're not political. There's a thousand things.
Who manages all that nuclear waste in the ground and makes sure it doesn't get into the Columbia River and the waterways? Who manages our electric grid? Who keeps track, please, I'd like to know, of all these spent uranium rods, sir, that are used in all our diagnostic machines? Because if you detonate one of those motherfuckers over the Super Bowl, you have to clear out that city for 20 years.
The Department of Energy is the answer. That's Buttigieg. He's doing a great job.
No. Transportation. He's transportation. It was the guy who stole women's clothes.
Yeah, he's the nuclear secretary.
Yeah, he was responsible for that.
That guy seems like fucking well put together.
That's not a guy. That's a they, you piece of shit. Sorry, bro. Sorry. Don't misgender that thief. That's the most important thing, that fucking guy. Don't misgender that thief. Jesus Christ. You understand what I'm saying? Yes. Oh, it's beyond complicated. Yeah. Unbelievably complicated. Yeah.
And so Michael Lewis wrote a book called The Fifth Risk about this. A good book. Short. Very worth reading. Very fucking worth reading. I walk around talking about being a libertarian. As usual, I don't really know what government does. I was so kind of humbled by the book because I was like, there's a lot of shit I rely on.
People who are needy, people who are very elderly, people who are disabled, who live in places where they can't get food, our food banks feed those people. Meals on Wheels is a really big thing. So there's a lot of shit that the government does, and we feed a lot of people that couldn't feed themselves otherwise. So we have to be careful about not throwing the baby out with the bathwater.
And once again, take politics out of it. Let's approach everything like it's a problem and stay agnostic about this shit. And sometimes you might have to be a little left. Sometimes you might have to be a little right. Respond to the fucking evidence and be humble about the fact that every time you step into a problem, you may not know anything. And that's what I try to do.
Brian Callen for governor.
Fucking, why didn't you write, I hope you guys wrote that shit down. Where's my camera? You don't need to write it down, bro. You just said it from the heart. Fuck yeah, dude. Yeah, bro. Fucking hilarious. Yeah, why don't you be a governor? My buddy, my buddy, last time I did my podcast, my buddy AG goes like this. He goes, from Toe Hold, he goes, hey dude, loved your Rogan podcast.
Next time you're on the biggest podcast in the world, make sure you talk about the fucking Bible some more.
Hey, man, it's interesting. Yeah, I'm into that. I had that Wesley Huff guy on. Do you know who he is? Yeah, he was really interesting. And one of the most fascinating things that I can't stop thinking about is how the book of Isaiah from the Dead Sea Scrolls was verbatim the same as the book of Isaiah that they found a thousand years later. Wow. A thousand years. Wow.
And it was exact, word for word.
Yeah.
Like, that's incredible.
It's not only incredible, but I always think the fact that the Bible endures is interesting.
It's very interesting. It endures. I always go back to, like, what were they trying to do? What was it really all about? I think I know. Where did it start?
I have an opinion. Tell me. I think that if you read the Old Testament, which I've done three times, I would argue that—so what's a theme of a—any author writes a book, the theme is always the author's argument for how one should behave in the world, okay? It's a good way of looking at it. And I think that the central theme of the Bible, of the Old Testament, certainly is don't worship false gods.
So what's that mean? If you try to worship false gods, if you put too much emphasis on money, on status, on power, whatever it is, on ideology, you will inevitably turn yourself into a circle. You'll be a snake eating its own tail. For whatever reason, human beings have a very hard time inventing and creating their own gods. And we always do it. The value of having a transcendent truth
of something that you can't measure. It's very interesting that you can't measure it. So why do the Muslims, why do the Orthodox Jews not have any kind of picture of God? It's because you're putting a measurement around God. You're trying to define God, and that's not for you to do.
And there's something very valuable about not being able to do that because that transcendent truth is not for you to understand necessarily. It is for you to reach for. It is for you to be reverent of. It's for you to understand that something is watching you, that you will never get away with anything. And I'll quote Jordan Peterson. I love it because I've always thought this.
I think you agree with this. You don't get away with anything. You'll pay in full for everything you've done and haven't done. It's a great way of looking at things. Maybe it's wrong, but it's a good way to at least keep that in mind.
I think you pay psychologically no matter what. 100% when you're not telling the truth. Right. And the people that don't, those are the people that are the most delusional and the most disconnected because they put blinders on as to who they are and what they've done. I mean, you see this when people get caught for horrible crimes. Yes. Like Bernie Madoff type people.
Like they've deluded themselves to a point where they don't look at – they're complete sociopaths. Yeah, man. Which is a weird path that the mind can go into where you're never wrong and it's always about you.
Well, also, like I always people talk about God. I kind of like replacing it with truth. So just just try to stay close to the truth, man. And it's hard. Sometimes the truth is really fucking inconvenient. It's really it's really it'll it might throw your whole life up in the air. You might have to burn off, you know, but I don't think, I think it's inevitable.
And part of like, if you see great stories, you know, what's the definition of a tragedy? It's the hero or the protagonist doesn't learn from his mistakes and holds on. Moby Dick is a tragedy because Ahab will not give up on this fucking white whale that took his leg. And if you read the book, he just gets sucked in. You'd think it'd be some dramatic thing. In the book, Ahab gets caught
by the whale, and he just dies this quick. It's just soundless. He just gets sucked in. Like, wait, dude, he's been in the book the whole time. What the fuck happened? That's how it happens, bro. You got sucked down, and the universe doesn't give a fuck. You're not important.
But you spent all that time trying to get vengeance on a white whale, and that thing was like, he was just trying to run away. You get sucked in and you drown. It's a great way of looking at life. And as I get older, the one thing I would have told myself when I was younger, the one thing I would have told myself is I would have said, hey, listen, listen, fuckface.
You better tell the truth all the way across the board, all the way across.
Let me tell you something. Yeah. You were in a lesson.
You're so fucking right. Because you know what I always said to myself? I'm one of God's favorites. These things don't apply to me. I'm Peter Pan.
Also, you were charming. Charming is a problem.
Got away with a lot.
Yeah. Charm and you were fun to be around. People liked you. You were fun. A lot of friends. Yeah, a lot of friends.
Found my way through.
And also, we liked that you were ridiculous. Of course. We liked that you were living your life completely chaotic. Reckless. Yeah. But it's also why you're funny. That's the balancing act. It is, right? As a comic, as a human.
Yeah, I didn't want to be too... The people I knew who got real famous actors, they were so buttoned down. They were so fucking afraid of everything. And I was like, hey, bro, I think sometimes you got to be willing to throw the whole fucking chessboard in the air.
If you want to be funny.
Yeah.
Yeah. If you become too calculated, man, I just think you outthink yourself. You lose the magic. Part of the magic of being a comedian is these sparks of ridiculousness that have to pop into your head. So you have to be able to entertain that part of your mind. I used to think when I was young that I didn't want to meditate.
Because I didn't want to become enlightened because it would fuck up my comedy. It's true. Well, I thought that way because I realized that there was a completely different mindset between me as a martial arts competitor and me as a comedian where I didn't need anybody's approval before. I liked that they didn't like me. I used to love going to places and fucking up the local hero.
I used to enjoy it. I used to get a kick out of it all because I didn't have anybody in my corner. I didn't have anybody cheering for me. Nobody came to see me fight. So I was like, I'll go to your place and fuck you up. I liked it. I liked hearing people cheer. Relying on yourself. There was a fight that I had when I was 19 and I fought in Anaheim at the Nationals.
And there was this guy who was the state champion. I think he was from Illinois. And I hit him with a wheel kick that was probably the hardest I've ever hit anybody in my life.
Kill somebody like that.
Well, he went unconscious and he never woke up. They took him to the hospital. They took him out on a stretcher. It scared the shit out of me. Jesus. Because I remember thinking that easily could have been me.
Yeah.
That easily could have been me. But what I do remember was all these people were cheering him. Let's go, Johnny. Come on, Johnny. Fuck him up, Johnny. All these people were cheering him. Whack! Face plant and then snoring. Jesus Christ. And then I remember the satisfaction of that. Like, shut the fuck up.
It feels like nothing on your foot. Well, it hurt.
I was limping for days. Really? Oh, yeah. Did you hit him with your heel? I hit him with my heel in his cheekbone. Oh, Christ. On his cheekbone. Yeah. And I was fast. That'll hurt. I was fast.
Yeah, still are.
But back then when I was 19, I was fast. So it happened in a breeze, a quick moment. And then I remember thinking afterwards, when is he getting up? He's not getting up. He didn't get up. And then they carried him away in a stretcher and they took him to the hospital. And I never felt the same way about fighting again after that.
Yeah, because that could have been you.
Yeah. I also thought about like... If that was me, would I even be the same person again after that? Because I had a friend who fought in this tournament. He fought this guy, Jersey Long, who was this Canadian national champion. And he got axe kicked in the head hard. And he went unconscious and real bad. And he was never the same guy again. He was timid after that. He never fought well.
He didn't show up for training a lot. And he just seemed depressed afterwards.
that's why I think fighters who can, who have longevity are very special because one of the things, you know, if you like just box or Taekwondo, especially people don't realize that people get, would get knocked out all the time in our studio, but, but also boxing. Like when you get hit hard and you have trouble chewing for like two weeks or you get hit, like, like when I was sparring a lot,
I would get hit, man, and I would get fucking gun shy. And my trainer, Wayne McCulloch, would go, you're sparring today. And it was everything I could do not to turn my car around. It would almost turn me into a liar. I was like, I'm in the hospital. Oh, my car just got hit by a truck. Anything.
But you'd get there and you'd have your fucking, I would wear a bar because I'm a bitch and a mouthpiece. And I was still always nervous. And I was fighting good guys, fighting guys like me, fucking weekend warriors.
It doesn't matter. The person trying to hit you in the face is scary.
You know what I think meditation does? I think the point is, and I don't meditate a lot, is to get out of the way. To get out of the way.
That's a lot of life. Yeah, you should disappear.
I heard a sports psychologist say that. He teaches baseball players. He would teach them.
he would do this mantra which was one two get out of the way so when you're trying to hit a ball because it's really precise and you can't be overthinking you've got to just be totally reactive right your your your eye and your hands have to be married and motherfuckers are throwing 100 mile an hour balls and shit like yeah and um you ever you ever done that you ever stood in at a plate and had guys throw 100 miles an hour i have
I have.
Insane.
It's fucking terrifying. The idea of hitting that thing. Dude, it's terrifying. Yeah. But I wanted to try it and I wanted to see what it was like. And when your job depends on it, when everything rides on it, you better get out of your own way. And guys get the yips. That's why guys will go on hitting streaks and then they'll go on long dry spells because they get in their own way.
But I think part of like all of that meditation, Jamie, pull up the fucking Indian army. Did you see this? They were hiking in the Himalayas and they came across a Bodhisattva or a monk who was meditating in the snow and it was 40 below.
This is recently?
Yes, sir. You might want to bring this up so it can just... You know what Customano used to tell Mike Tyson?
You don't exist. Just the task. The task exists.
I love that.
Yeah, you don't exist. He's become a bit of a monk. So they found this guy? That's one guy. Oh, bro, this is AI. Yeah. That's in a green screen. This is two or three years old. Shut up. It's fake.
Yeah, that's bad.
Look at that dude. I bet that dude's boring as fuck to talk to. Look at him sitting there with a dog.
There's a guy meditating covered in snow. And it's fucking unbelievable. Whoa. That might be true, Bubba.
That might be true. He looks legit.
Yeah, they find these guys out there.
Yeah, he looks legit.
They find these guys.
Yeah. I'd like to see him a couple hours later.
But there's a guy covered in snow, and he's not moving. And the Indian Army came across him.
Yeah, he looks like he's having fun. What's the temperature like? Dogs are having fun, too, though. Yeah, but that's— We don't think that dog's amazing. That's in Utah. We're like, that dog's amazing. You think that's in Utah? I don't know. Come on, man. That's real. That's some guy on a lot of drugs. That guy is—no, man. He did the DMT breathing.
Well, you know those dudes in—you ever read Shantaram? You know those guys who take a vow to never sit down? They stand up. Oh, God.
You ever seen their legs in India? What? No. Oh, bro.
Their knees must be destroyed. They're the standing yogis. How bad are their knees? No, no. They get varicose veins. Their bodies, their feet start to melt. What? But they smoke copious amounts of weed. I mean, they're always high. Constantly.
Yeah.
But they take a vow never to ever, ever sit. They are standing their whole life. So they sleep standing up in slings.
Oh, that's ridiculous.
Yeah. It doesn't.
What do their legs look like?
You can look that up. Just to fuck you up some more.
Standing yoga is just showing me all sorts of positions for yoga.
How would you describe it as? Standing yogis?
Yeah, they're like the famous standing yogis or something they're called. Where from, maybe?
India.
India, I think in Calcutta.
Yeah, sometimes the ferry's only a nickel. You don't have to stand all day, you fucking idiot. Have a seat. Smoke a cigar.
Exactly. Please.
Relax a little bit.
At the end of the day, they're trying to get laid.
I don't know what they're trying to do. They're definitely not trying to get laid, right? Because they don't do it.
I think a lot of people are dealing with trauma. I think a lot of times you're going to either kill yourself or do something crazy, right? Sometimes.
You're trying to find something. Yeah.
You know? I don't think you become a monk or a shaman. Joseph Campbell did a whole thing. Every shaman he studied – he was an expert at comparing Western and Eastern traditions. And he said every shaman – ever had gone through some kind of a mental breakdown, usually in their teens. And they came out of it because they had a society, a village that helped them through it.
That sort of like understood that it was a schizophrenic break, but they were going through something and there was something on the other side of that. So they wouldn't medicate them.
Standing Babas. What is it? Standing Babas. Standing Babas.
Yeah.
Look at that guy's foot. Go back to that other image that you had before.
It's not a good... What did you have before?
No, that's a woman who's been bound. Oh, that's different. Oh, that's Chinese ladies. Oh, my gosh. That is the most disgusting thing. The Chinese foot binding? Like, Jesus Christ.
I saw that with my own eyes in 1984 in China. So this is how this guy stands.
Just propped up all the time. That dude looks like he has one leg.
Donations. No, they curved one leg. Left his arm in the air, too.
Oh, Jesus. Look at his arm.
Forever. He keeps his arm up. Since 1973.
Oh, my God. He hasn't brought it down since 1973. Yeah. He sees it as a devotion to Lord Shiva. Maybe Lord Shiva, like, hey, hey, hey, hey, wipe your ass.
Yeah, I gave you two arms.
Wipe your ass. You can't use the same arm to feed yourself and wipe your ass. You're going to have to wipe your ass. That's crazy. Look at that, dude. Look at his arm. I bet I could arm wrestle the shit out of that dude. I bet everything I have.
That's not the point, man.
Everything I have, dude. Let's go. You know who's into arm wrestling now? Brian Shaw. Oh, God. Yeah. That's a problem. He's been training hard for it. That's a real problem. Yeah. Look at that dude. Just high out of his mind. I tell you, Brian took a- With fucking white power. I told you.
What does he do? What is that forever? So that's black power.
Black power.
That's white power.
White power is the hand? It's all about the hand movement.
If you extend your fingers, it's racist.
So white power is just basically a bitch slap. Pro-black, pro-white. Black power will fuck you up. Correct.
White power is just... Yeah, that's not... And Hitler did this.
Yeah. Everybody else did this. He did this. It's funny. When CNN was attacking me, one of the photos that they would use all the time was me at the UFC waving to the crowd like this. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to- Fuck you guys. They would use me standing like this. This one is- That played quietly-
That Justin Baldoni thing?
Yeah.
When you see what the New York Times did to Baldoni, where they took every one of those things out of context, and Baldoni was like, really? How about I see you for $250 million? And he's got fucking 90 pages of receipts. It's going to be very interesting.
Yeah, very interesting. It's interesting how the mainstream media just continues to go down this road of discrediting themselves.
Yeah, I don't understand it.
Well, it's the rise of independent journalism because there are the Michael Schellenbergers, the Matt Taibis. Barry Weiss. Barry Weiss. These people in the world. Glenn Greenwald. There's these people that you can trust that are going to tell you the fucking truth no matter what.
Yeah, that's what I like about the marketplace. The marketplace will find people that you can rely on.
Yes. As long as there's freedom of speech. As long as you don't have censorship.
That's Elon Musk.
Yeah, that's Elon Musk.
I feel like YouTube and now Facebook, they're all coming around.
Well, that was one of the things Zuckerberg came on yesterday to talk about. They've changed their content policy. They no longer have fact checkers, and now they're going to rely on community notes.
What is that? I don't understand that.
They used to have fact checkers. Like someone would say something and someone would say, that's not true. The vaccine is nothing but amazing. And they'll take off posts. So what are community notes? Community notes is what X uses. So like say if you post something, it's not true. Community notes underneath it, you could write community notes.
So the community notes would be everybody would post into it, this is not true. And it would come to a consensus. The facts state that this and that. It's amazing. It's the best way to do it. Because eventually the truth comes out. The truth comes out. Brian Callen, I love you to death. Love you too, buddy. You're the fucking man. Two shows tonight. I'm so happy that you're filming at the club.
It's going to be fucking awesome. Thank you. Are you filming tomorrow night?
Tomorrow night. Tonight I'm doing two shows just to warm up. Theo Vaughn's stopping by, which I'm excited about.
So tomorrow night, 7 and 10? 7 and 10 tomorrow night. Beautiful.
Sold out already, all shows. Of course. Which is exciting. Of course.
So exciting. I'm pumped. I'm pumped for people to see your set too. Thank you, though. It's going to be fucking powerful. I'm very proud of it. I'm proud of it. I love you, man. Thank you very much for doing this. Bye, everybody.