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Chapter 1: What happened with the planned threesome?
And then you get to say, and by the way, you opened the door for this man to walk in the house and have sex with me right in front of you. I lost trust in you too. Here's what must be true for me. I want to know that you'll fight for my heart again. And y'all have to also draw some boundaries.
All right, flirty conversations, what if conversations, fantasy conversations, those can be so fun and playful and exciting and erotic. I'm all about it. Have all the fun you want. Have all the conversations you want to have. But in the future, here's the breaks. Right? Y'all got to build those boundaries in. So here's what this is going to look like.
I don't ever want to have another conversation about you with another person, another man, another woman ever again. Okay. I don't want to have that conversation. And you can say, you get three questions or five questions a day. And once you reach that limit, then we're going to go to the next day.
Because just sitting here having like 40 questions every single day, every single day, it isn't helpful.
I think what he can't move past is like, he doesn't believe... what I'm telling him about what happened.
And that's, that's, that's the damning thing about sneaking off and sleeping with somebody else. Right. You're not who he thought he, you were right. Right. So he's trying to imagine who you might be. And I promise what he's envisioning is worse than reality.
Yeah.
But you can't, that's the part you can't fix. What you can do is, is do the next right thing every minute, every hour, every day. And y'all can both say, hey, what does it look like when it comes to chores? What does it look like every day before we go to work? How can I love you today? What does it look like every evening with on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays?
I'll plan the activities that we're going to do after eight o'clock and Tuesdays and Thursdays and Saturdays. You plan the activities we're going to do after eight o'clock or seven o'clock because our phones are off.
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Chapter 2: How did the affair impact their relationship?
Yeah.
And you can tell them. Yeah, we can. I totally understand your lack of trust. But you just trying to tell them you're crazy for thinking this isn't helpful, so I'll answer your questions. I'll answer five a day. That's kind of my capacity. Or seven a day. You get to decide. Two a day. I don't care what it is.
Okay.
But when each of you establishes, here's what it's going to take to reestablish trust and rebuild something amazing, the other person can say, that's not enough for me. I'm out.
Okay.
Okay. Here's the question I want you to answer. I want you all to put it at the top of your paper. What do we want this house to feel like in one year when we both walk in? I want it to feel full of laughter, warmth, sexiness, silliness, dancing. And then let's reverse engineer what must be true starting today. Got to take dance classes, cool. Both got to go to the gym, cool.
Both going to start reading the same, like do a book study together, cool.
Okay.
Does that make sense?
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