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Chapter 1: Why are profile pictures squared?
You're listening to DraftKings Network.
Chapter 2: How does tequila's history influence modern branding?
Now's a good time to remember where tequila's story truly began. In 1795, Cuervo invented tequila. Cuervo. What are you doing here?
Cuervo. Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up.
Cuervo.
The tequila that invented tequila. Proximo. Cuervo.com. Please drink responsibly.
Chapter 3: What makes The Big Suey different from other podcasts?
Welcome to the Big Sui, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.
I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it.
And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar.
This episode of the Dan Levitard Show with Stu Gatz is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings, the crown is yours.
Oh, yeah. All right, so what do we got going on, Chris?
So much. Domino tournaments, March sadness. What do you want to start with? I want to start with the domino tournament. Big reveal we got right here. I know no one can tell from this graphic who the celebrity former football player is.
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Chapter 4: Who is the mystery NFL legend in the domino tournament?
I can tell you who it's not.
I thought we were going to reveal who the body on Poppy was.
No, no, that's Poppy's body.
I can tell by the tattoo because Poppy has that tattoo on his belly. No, I know who it isn't. We solidified it's not Andrew Hawkins because Andrew Hawkins is not a coward.
Or Devon Best, I believe we figured out it was.
Both legends. Or Tyler Lockett. All legends. So who is the NFL legend? Let's reveal it. It is, surprisingly, Ricky Williams.
No way!
I thought we were playing who that is. Oh, it's Ricky Williams! Is that his real body? And Poppy says, why don't you also bring that Eric Maron guy? I'll beat his ass too. Who's Eric Moran?
That's Ricky's new name.
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Chapter 5: How does Woody Page create his chalkboard quotes?
I'm going to find this quote.
More like Kobe. I'm not really the GOAT. I'm just the people's GOAT. There you go. That's good. Like three people. Okay. You guys want the top five Woodies now? Of course. Give us Woodies. Might as well. I got some OLIs. Oh, some OLIs too. So first OLIs, because he was kind of canceled, Woody Allen. Kinda. This is also for the younger crowd, right? A little bit.
So if you haven't seen, or if you've never heard of Woody Allen, go watch a documentary about him. That's all you need to know, really. Forget about the movies. Oh, really? Yeah. The movies are really good.
Pretzel, you're making me thirsty.
Was that him, or was that... Cosmo Kramer was part of a Woody Allen movie. Kramer was in a Woody Allen movie.
Oh, okay.
How about that? All right, number two. In large part because it's not technically a Woody, Woodrow Wilson.
A real piece of shit. You want to talk about pieces of shit?
Real racist. 28th president. Also, if you break it down, Woody Willie, not terrible, right? A little bit of a... Needs work, but I see where you're going. Last OLI, the dude from the show Sex Life Season 1, Episode 3, about 18 minutes in. His name's Adam Demos. Also, not quite a Woody, but if it was, holy Jesus. To America's. Everybody in the room's giving me blank stares.
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Chapter 6: Why doesn't NFL free agency have the same impact as the NBA?
Let me do my. Tell J. Cole that I didn't appreciate that in the song Clouds, he cannot perform that thing live because he's clearly, you know, cutting verses on top of verses and not doing all that in one breath. Like, that's impossible. Impossible. I think he can. Okay, then call him up, have him do it on the air. Yeah. There's no chance. No chance. Yeah, you do that. You do that.
It's your boy, right? It is my boy. That's all.
I'm not going to bother him.
This would explain why years and years ago he said that he is way better, not just better, but way better than Kendrick Lamar. Now I understand that.
He bowed out of that. And he doesn't sound like he sucked on a balloon before he started rapping. It's Mike Greenberg, basically. It's not all the time. It's Mike Greenberg.
Kendrick has got a couple flows.
He's got several flows. I didn't say the flows are wrong. I'm just saying the voice.
Yeah, but he does a thing. Kind of like Marshall Mathers did a thing. It sounds nothing like it.
I got a question for you guys. That's actually not too bad. Yeah, thank you. Delimited fake, put it in the suites.
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Chapter 7: What hypothetical sports scenarios spark interest?
If we could have left that rolling and gotten the Jess laugh, it would have been even better. Because Witty was rolling with like, oh, they're doing this?
It's gone! So I just wanted to get in with their profile picture's square now? So now they're square. I just wanted to like... Kind of like alley-oop myself, but I realized there was nothing on the second sentence, so I just repeated the first sentence.
I was waiting for the mess up of like, what word is he going to mess up? And instead.
Profile picture square now?
Now they're square. It's even better that you didn't mess up any words. You said it perfectly. Just my brain. Like Brick Tamlin.
It was so bad. And if they would have let that roll a little bit. It threw Dan off entirely.
Dan was ready to keep going. Dan starts doing his next sentence, and then five seconds in, realizes the whole room's laughing. He's like, what were you trying to say? What were you trying to do? What were you trying to say? I was just trying to alley-oop myself. But what was the alley-oop? They're doing this. Now their things are square. I wanted to set myself up to be like, they're even round.
He should have gone circle, then square. He couldn't get round out. He got square out first. Profile picture square now? What's that other shape?
I can't think of it. I'm just going to say square again. Run it back, please. Yeah, play it again.
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Chapter 8: What makes golf an appealing sport for athletes?
Oh, no, I've heard him talk about it. He says he has as a father. Okay. As a father.
Yeah. He also continues to say, I cover the NBA as my job. I was raised as a journalist.
I cover the NBA as my job.
I was raised as a journalist.
If you're in the NBA, it applies to you, me talking about you.
If you're in the NBA, it applies to you. Me talking about you. In case you're just tuning in, what's happening here is Tony went outside to watch first take. He is now reciting what Stephen A. Smith had said about first take. And Amin is reciting that in a better Stephen A. Smith impression. Correct. Continue. Rights issues.
I call it like I see it. I call it like I see it. This is a master class.
Can you not read your own words?
Turning the page.
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