The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Dan Le Batard's Family Show (feat. Sam Morril)
Thu, 15 May 2025
"F*** this show and f*** you for bringing that up... Eat s***, Tony. Eat s***, Dan." Did you know Toronto Maple Leafs fans sound like sad Jurassic Park? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: What is the NFL schedule and ticket plans for the season?
NFL schedule dropped yesterday, which is actually a super exciting day for not just fans of certain teams, but also free agent fans like myself that like to travel to the biggest games of the regular season. All the primetime standalone games seem really fun. I think I know where I'm going to be week one, and that's in Denver.
As everybody with a pulse is probably going to take Bo Nix and the Denver Broncos in their survivor pool, I'm going to be back in Cam Ward and the Tennessee Titans. That seems like a hard ticket to get. You know where I'm going to get those tickets? Where? The Game Time app. Download the Game Time app, create an account, and use the code DAN for $20 off your first purchase.
Hopefully that purchase is to watch Cam Ward and the Tennessee Titans. Terms apply. Download Game Time today. Last minute tickets, lowest price guaranteed.
Chapter 2: How does Dan Le Batard feel about the NFL primetime games and survivor pools?
No primetime games for Cam Ward next year. That's not rare.
That is a little weird. Like, they're not even on a Thursday night?
No primetime games for the number one pick in the draft. I want to announce to people that I'm a bit frightened right now. This doesn't actually happen to me very often. You guys know I like to play with fire a little bit, right?
Chapter 3: What is Sam Morril's current mood and reaction to Knicks' recent loss?
So I ended, accidentally, Bert Kreischer and Bill Burr's podcast by poking Bill Burr on the nose and then just sort of backpedaling the whole time because I'm very afraid of of comedians when they're agitated and emotional, but I also like when they're agitated and emotional. So when I'm interviewing Anthony Jeselnik on South Beach Sessions, I'm beginning from a point of being a little afraid.
I don't wanna make a mistake here that's gonna make this person cut my face off because he's been funny since he's nine years old and angry since he's nine years old. And the problem I have right now is I know how good Sam Morrell is at comedy, but I also know how not in the mood he is for us today. And not in the mood.
We have a treasure right now in that we have acidic, dark Sam Morrell right now after just a crushing Knicks loss. And I know he doesn't want to be on with us. And I know he doesn't want to do this. But this is actually a get today, a Knicks fan willing to be hurt publicly today. So, Sam, you honor me by making time in your schedule to do this. I'm sorry we're doing this to you today.
Well, first of all, Dan, not in the mood has never stopped you from what I hear from your wife. Also, yeah, I'm not in the mood to be here. I told you that last time. It was a bad loss, but you pushed and you pushed. And this Bert Kreischer, Bill Burt thing, if you feel so bad about it, why do you bring it up every five minutes? I feel so bad I ended Bert and Bill's podcast.
You mention every time I talk to you. Hopefully Tony can behave as well on this episode. I mean, this is a mess last time. So, yeah, I'm not in the mood to talk about the Knicks right now.
Tony, you took, I don't think it's a stray, actually. I don't think Tony knows essentially what it is that you're talking about, but we'll get back to that in a second. Billy betrayed you recently, not unlike Zaz recently betrayed Amin. But Sam, how are you feeling today? Did you have trouble sleeping last night? Because I was saying before you came on here that- I didn't sleep, Dan.
I'm like Donovan Mitchell after his loss. I didn't sleep. I feel like shit. I'm hungover. We're gonna win on Friday, but, you know, look, the Boston team came together. What can you do? You lost your star, and they played a great game. It was very frustrating to watch.
I worry for your team because I was making the argument before you came on here that the Celtics are championship great because they're built for threes. They can hit 25 of them whether or not Tatum's playing. So you have to fear that going into the Garden because the Garden hasn't closed out a playoff opponent this century. Well, do you feel any guilt, Dan? About Tatum?
About you going on here and being like, where's his moment? Where's Jason Tatum's moment? And then he tears the Achilles. He got a moment because of you. You jinxed him.
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Chapter 4: How do Dan and Sam discuss Jason Tatum's injury and its impact on the playoffs?
Okay.
Huh? I feel like I was talking to a nerd. All right, yeah, look, Boston's still tough with Adam. What can I say? I think we're going to win on Friday, but they're still good. What do you want from me, Dan? It was an annoying game to watch. We showed no desire. They called five fouls on Brunson in nine minutes. What the f*** was that? What am I watching? He breathed on Jalen Brown.
And I'll tell you, I wanted to hate... Have I told you that I met Jalen Brown? I wanted to hate him, but he was actually a good guy. Isn't that the worst? I did a fashion show at the Apollo. Don't ask me why.
You did a fashion show where?
It was at the Apollo. It was like me, Marlon Wayans, Dion Cole. It was a stacked line of comics. It's a fashion show crowd. They sucked. I bombed. And... I'm in the green room and Jalen Brown walks in. I'm like, oh, of course a Celtic just witnessed that bomb. Jesus Christ. This is all I need to make my night worse.
And, uh, he came over to me and he was a cool, he was like, he was like, that was so funny. He was so cool. And, uh, and I talked to him for like 15, 20 minutes. He was great. And, but he did tell me that they were going to rip the Knicks throats out on opening night. And they did, he did, he did get me there, but, uh, Yeah, I mean, you call Brunson a flopper. What the f*** is Jalen Brown?
Brown has been playing so dirty the last couple games. It's insane.
You're so mad.
It's a lot of F-bombs from Sam, and it's coming out naturally because of what happened. I'm sorry I messed up your family show, Dan. I didn't know I was on live with Kathy Lee or whatever the hell. Sorry, Kelly. I don't know who even has the show anymore. I'm so angry.
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Chapter 5: What is Sam Morril's perspective on the Knicks and Celtics teams this season?
Oh, but this is the part that's scary, right? I feel like I may have been misidentifying in previous conversations with you some of what I was doing because of the role Tatum plays. You and I have been talking about... The idea of how hard it is to be the third player on one of these teams with this ego. And Drew Holliday's been a champion there for a while.
But when Drew Holliday's your fifth best player, because Porzingis and Derek White are better, when Drew Holliday's your fifth best player, even sort of washed, I'm telling you, I'm still scared of that team even without Jason Tatum. If their other guys are healthy, they're as good as everybody but OKC, even without Tatum.
I agree with you. I agree with you. They're scary, man. And I mean, what the hell happened to Porzingis, though? Did someone put a spell on him? He f***ing stinks. He's ill. He's ill. He couldn't breathe. He's ill. He's been ill for two months. He's 26 years old. I didn't realize, you know, I had the flu for 12 days. I'm an out of shape alcoholic, you know. This guy can't recover in two months.
He's a pro athlete.
If you're going to start asking me what's happening with the bodies of the seven three people in sports, we're making athletes bigger and stronger and weirder shaped than ever before?
Speaking of athletes, we haven't talked enough about the Luke Cornett revenge game.
I know. Look, I didn't know he was Ben Wallace when the Knicks need something. It's like, of course he turns into like the good. It was insulting that he had seven blocks, but then when he threw down that reverse backwards alley-oop dunk, I was like, that's like a Strohmeyer Swift dunk. That's not even good. I've never seen a white player do that dunk. Ever.
Needless to say, like a seven foot attitude. That was insane. I was like, at that point, you're just like, just take it. Just take the game. Go away. Do you like his nickname, the white Howard? I haven't heard that one. When he was on the Knicks, we called him the Unicornette, you know, because we had the unicorn. And I mean, it's crazy that he and Porzingis were both Knicks.
But yeah, the White Howard's better. I'll give you that.
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Chapter 6: What are Sam Morril's thoughts on his comedy career and upcoming movie project?
Yeah, well, either way, we destroyed the Celtics. So how do you like them apples?
Sam, what happens if you have a show and it's a Knicks finals game?
I purposely didn't. I even have a benefit on the books that I said, if the Knicks have a game, I'm not coming. OK, wow. F them kids. That's real. I know. Yeah, I purposely did not book any gigs past this, so I have nothing really big till July. I did 50 cities already. I got it out of the way. So, yeah, no, no shows. Also, you know, I just want to see Portnoy shut up. I'm sick of his dumb videos.
Sam, this opens the door. I want to ask you this question because yesterday a ruling came down that Spike Lee has lost his number one fandom. I don't remember making that rule. Well, you weren't here. The alternate judge was here to ask. Well, no. It's open. It's open now. Because he skipped the Knicks playoff game to go to the Met Gala.
You just said right now you'd skip benefits, you'd skip a show if the Knicks had a finals game on that day. He skipped...
a playoff game to go to the met gala so we stripped him of his number one fandom but now we open it up and so there's a lot of people applying we got mackin rowe we've got ben stiller tracy morgan tracy morgan chalamet chalamet i respect chalamet he goes to every game he's he's uh he goes on the road so you gotta you gotta show him respect i i it's hard to take away spike's keys man that guy was at the he was paying for tickets in like this late 60s spike is old you know but
But I feel like he's been riding that story for years now.
No, but wait a minute. I mean, make the accusation that made you officially take it away from Spike. He chose the Met Gala over a Knicks playoff game.
And Steve Martin was a prop commentator. No, but lean on the specifics of it. The specifics are like, hey, man, if you're going to make that choice, it sounds like you're not that big of a fan. I'm just saying, like, the Met Gala get dressed up. Met Gala's every year.
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Chapter 7: Who are the key Knicks players discussed, and what are their current performances?
I'm rooting for him. I'm rooting for Boston fans and New York fans to both suffer. I don't know how we achieved that, but we're on our way so far. And the way I feel about both the Knicks and the Celtics fan base make it so that this game, I want the meteor to win. I want both teams to explode, both teams to lose, both teams to get injured.
Not a good look, Dan. Ouch.
I wasn't rooting. I don't know why you're such an angry person. You have a nice life down there. You have a very nice wife. You have a great studio. You got a good morning show here. Nice family show. The problem is, why are you so angry living in sunny Florida with a good life, you prick? Why can't you let me be happy for once? Because your f***ing team imploded?
Because Tyler Hero's your best player? F*** off.
I think that's a good dismount.
That's a suey. I don't think I could do better than that. Any parting words for Tony here before you go, though?
Eat shit, Tony, and eat shit, Dan. Both of you can suck my dick. Go to hell, Mauro.
I almost saw you at the Dural Improv.
I'm glad I didn't.
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Chapter 8: Is Sam Morril a candidate for the number one Knicks fan and what about Knicks fandom culture?
Thank you. I like that. It's like one of those things at a golf tournament where they hold up a little sign. Family show.
Why is that not sponsored? That is the best thing Metal Ark Media has made right there. We just made it right now.
That's why it's not sponsored.
We literally, in the middle of the Sam Morrill segment, we made it. No one knew. I have been told that DraftKings has brought its highest ranking talent in here to help us with things that should be well sold around here. And I just saw a paddle that should have a sponsor on it that is the best thing Metal Ark Media has made.
You have bad ideas sometimes. Sell a paddle? The honest to God, helpful paddle to let you know when we're on air should not be sponsored and I'm really regretting them walking in during that interview specifically where we set a record for F-bombs.
The most truthful thing Dan has ever said is, I don't know anything about business and every day you prove it when you want us to sponsor things like a paddle.
This is why it would be funny to sponsor the paddle though. If you were to be able to get my attention with something that shows, Dan, All of the dollars will be gone right now. All of the dollars if you don't know that you're on air because you're going to do without judgment what Sam just did.
Let's put a little DK logo on that for the time being. It's added value. Sponsored by DK. DraftKings. The crown is yours.
Put a little crown on top. There you go. There you go.
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