The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Gets "Hot" for Kennedy Center, RFK Confirmed, Eggflation Rampant | Brady Corbet
Fri, 14 Feb 2025
Jordan Klepper tackles Trump getting "hot" and heavy with the Kennedy Center, the government confirming RFK Jr. as health secretary, and the president fumbling peace negotiations between Russia and Ukraine before they even start. Josh Johnson asks New Yorkers how they're dealing with eggflation and tries to get in on the egg grift. Brady Corbet, writer and director of “The Brutalist,” joins to discuss his ten-time Oscar-nominated film. He explains how Trump’s first-term push to “Make Federal Buildings Beautiful Again” inspired the story, the connection between Brutalist architecture and the immigrant experience, and how he pulled it all off using VistaVision and a meager $10 million budget.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Chapter 1: What are the highlights from Trump's cabinet announcements?
Welcome to The Daily Show. I am Jordan Klepper. We got so much to talk about tonight. Trump gets horny for the performing arts. Russia and Ukraine agree to couples therapy. And things are finally looking up for the measles. You know, congrats, guys. So let's get into another installment of the second coming of Donald J. Trump. I'm gonna come.
Let's start with the big news from Donald Trump's cabinet. Robert F. Kennedy Jr., Trump's nominee for health secretary and guy currently fighting a vulture for his lunch, has been officially confirmed. Now... I know. They said it couldn't be done. Excuse me. They said it shouldn't be done. But now it has happened. So you can now add employment to the list of things he's tested positive for.
But let's move on to a big development in the war in Ukraine. And remember, during the campaign, Donald Trump made some big promises about how quickly and easily he was going to end that war.
Chapter 2: How is Trump handling peace negotiations between Russia and Ukraine?
If I'm president, I will have that war settled in one day, 24 hours. I would tell Putin, gotta settle. I would tell Zelensky, you gotta settle. I would get a settlement in 24 hours, no longer than one day. I can get it ended as president-elect. I will get it settled before I even become president.
I'm gonna do it back to the future and end this war before it even starts. Go back in time, kiss my mom, maybe have sex with her. What am I talking about? What was I talking about? So here we are, one month into that first 24 hours, and Donald Trump is finally ready to negotiate.
But it's going to be tough, which is why he started out with a quick warm-up negotiation first, an old-fashioned prisoner swap with Russia. Let's see how it went.
Russia freed a wrongfully detained American teacher. Mark Fogle returning to the U.S. after more than three years in Russian captivity, imprisoned for carrying a small amount of medically prescribed marijuana. In exchange, the U.S. releasing Russian cybercrime kingpin Alexander Vinnick.
What? You traded a cybercrime kingpin for public school teacher Mark Fogle? This is like if the Dallas Mavericks traded Luka Doncic for public school teacher Mark Fogel. I mean, at least the teacher we got back is the cool teacher. He smokes weed and he's been to jail. I mean, you know, you know he's showing movies in fourth period. Also, Americans, stop smoking weed in Russia.
If you need to relax, try not being in Russia. Okay, now that Trump got all warmed up, it's time for the main event.
This morning, President Trump pledging to meet with Russian President Putin in person after announcing they've agreed to start negotiations immediately to end the war in Ukraine.
President Trump saying, quote, I just had a lengthy and highly productive phone call with President Vladimir Putin of Russia. We discussed Ukraine, the Middle East, energy, artificial intelligence, the power of the dollar, and various other subjects.
I'd like to know what those various other subjects were. I mean, it's a tad suspicious. It's like a husband coming back from a Vegas bachelor party saying, yeah, we ate some great food, we saw the sphere, did various other things. Anyway, you should get a prescription for Valtrex. So, Trump has now set the stage for face-to-face negotiations with Putin on the future of Ukraine.
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Chapter 3: Why is the Kennedy Center getting a Trump makeover?
Okay. So, before negotiations even start, America gave up the two things Russia most wants? I mean, how do Hank Seth and Trump not know how to negotiate? Between the two of them, they've been divorced 97 times. I mean, if your opening move is giving away the house, the car, and the kids, best case scenario, you're leaving court with half of a golden retriever.
I mean, no one's gonna be happy with that, except for maybe RFK Jr. But... I guess there's still plenty of stuff to negotiate. For example, you know, which animal will Zelensky be fed to once the Russians take over? Probably a lion, but could be a shark, you know? There's room there. Whichever animal it is, it'll probably fall out of a window.
Regardless, Trump is not going to go driving a hard bargain on Ukraine's behalf, and that's fine. But as long as Ukraine is an equal member of this peace process, they'll get some of what they want.
Do you view Ukraine as an equal member of this peace process?
Um, that's an interesting question.
Yikes. That's like when my dentist asks if I floss. That's an interesting question. I gotta go. Okay, so this is not looking good for Ukraine. Imagine not even being invited to your own peace negotiations. It's like if your wife told you she wanted a threesome and then asked what night she'll be away on business. Have so much fun, sweetie. I'm strong enough for this.
It's okay, I had it coming after Vegas. Now, you might think it's unfair to put Ukraine in this position after they were the ones invaded, but that's not exactly how Trump sees things.
I think they have to make peace. Their people are being killed, and I think they have to make peace. I said that was not a good war to go into.
Not a good war to go into? They were invaded. It wasn't their idea. Little advice for the back of Abraham Lincoln's head. Don't get hit by a bullet. Not smart. Look. Here. Clearly, this is going to be a complex negotiation, and it couldn't have come at a worse time for Trump, because he's also busy with his second job.
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Chapter 4: How are New Yorkers coping with eggflation?
Sign up now for an all-new season designed by Chairman Trump. Screw off, twinkle toes, because all ballet will now be done by pole dancers. Talk about a nutcracker. And join us for our cinema series featuring every movie where a babe climbs out of a pool. Donald Nike. And you bet your ass we'll have culture. Better culture. Like Hamilton, but with white people.
A Raisin in the Sun, but with white people. And Chen Yun, but with white people. Plus, we'll award the Mark Twain Prize to Michael Richards. But not for Seinfeld. For his stand-up. And you know why. And next fall, we'll have an evening with Joni Mitchell. Boxing Jake Paul. So come to the hot new Kennedy Center, where even the building is hot. That's right, we gave it boobs. Not just two, like 20.
The Donald Trump Kennedy Center and Casino. We got your culture right here.
Arthur Miller. Arthur Miller. When we come back, Josh Johnson ruins the most important meal of the day. Don't go away.
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