It’s our bestie Laura Linney, here to collab on a brand new t-shirt idea. We discuss a cleaned-up chicken coop, a whole new winter wardrobe, and how would a turtle walk? Let sleeping dogs lay… whilst podding on an all-new SmartLess. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of SmartLess ad-free and a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.
Full Episode
Is your team winning? Yeah. Wait, but it's Sunday. I thought they play Saturday. It's Sunday. Yeah, they play both in it. This is Liverpool that you're rooting for? Yeah, mate. Did they score a goal yet?
Did they score a goal yet? Oh, hang on a second. We're doing a cold open, but we have a special surprise guest. Michael, do not turn around. Do not turn around. Michael, you're surrounded by a princess.
There's a princess. Do you want to say hi?
Yes. It's a tiny Terry. Tiny Terry. That was a tiny Terry, and this is an all-new... Smartless. All-new Smartless. Sean, I just did this stupid thing to Sean, but it reminded me, before you came on, JB, the other day, I keep finding new ways to embarrass Alessandro. We were at dinner, just the two of us, over there in the Sag Harbor. And you forgot to wear your wig. No, and I... No.
How can you forget? The glue is so thick. And you keep it by the key bowl, right? Well, the glue's thick. It's a key bowl. It says six weeks, but let's be honest. After five weeks, it starts to crack. You have to reapply. Yeah, yeah, you're reapplying. But I have like a little caulking gun I can get under there sometimes. I could just do a touch-up in the moment. You know what I mean?
Like if I'm windsurfing. Get a good cock. Get a good cock in there. But right as our server came to the table, I just go, I look up at the server and go, one second. I go, oh, sorry. So to answer your question, it's guess who's back backing it? Shady's back, tell a friend. As if I was going to ask her to ask me the lyrics to that Eminem song. And then I go, sorry, yeah, we're ready to order.
Did the waiter have any idea?
No idea. It would have been lost on me. Waiters don't, first of all, they're not there for entertainment. They're not psyched. They don't want to laugh at your stupid shit.
Haven't you ever been?
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