On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Stop Chasing Love! (How to Shift Your Mindset to Start Attracting It) With Tinx
Fri, 30 May 2025
How do you know when someone is truly right for you? Have you ever confused attention for love? In this special crossover episode, Jay Shetty steps out of his usual host role and joins media personality Tinx on her podcast, Office Hours, for a candid and profoundly enriching conversation. Jay opens up about his journey with meditation, relationships, and personal well-being. He breaks meditation down into simple, approachable practices like breathwork, visualization, and mantra, making it accessible to anyone who’s ever felt like they ‘can’t meditate.’ Jay and Tinx go deeper, unpacking the digital overwhelm of the constant pings, nonstop news, and the pressure of staying connected. Jay shares practical strategies for reclaiming your peace, especially in the crucial first moments of the day. From changing how we wake up to choosing when and how we consume news, he emphasizes building rituals that foster clarity rather than chaos. Jay explains the concept of love through the three key relationship types: the firework, the candle, and the mirror. He challenges the idea of “one soulmate,” suggesting instead that the people we attract reflect where we are in our own growth and emotional state. The conversation is filled with insight into how to find peace in your singlehood, develop a deeper understanding of yourself, and create a life that naturally attracts meaningful connection. In this conversation, you'll learn: How to Start Meditating When You Feel Stuck How to Use Breathwork to Calm Anxiety Instantly How to Build a Tech-Free Morning Routine How to Consume News Without Feeling Overwhelmed How to Create Real Human Connection in a Digital World Remember, peace shouldn't be something you have to chase—it’s something you can create, right here, right now. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here. Join Jay for his first ever, On Purpose Live Tour! Tickets are on sale now. Hope to see you there! What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 01:48 Building Purpose Through the Calm Community 03:38 Struggling with Meditation? Start Here 08:26 Simple Breathing Practice to Calm Your Mind 11:05 Managing News and Notifications Without Losing Peace 18:16 Inside Jay’s Grounding Morning Routine 23:14 The Interview That Changed Jay’s Perspective 25:09 When Interviews Get Deep and Emotional 27:06 Must-Listen Episodes to Start With 29:48 Jay’s Ultimate Dream Guest Revealed 30:36 The Three Types of Love You’ll Experience 34:25 How Jay Met His Wife, Radhi 35:43 What to Look For When Searching for Love 44:37 The Root of Desperation in Dating 45:27 What to Expect from the On Purpose Live Tour 46:46 Preparing Mentally and Physically for Live Shows 48:55 Jay’s Favorite Guilty Pleasures Episode Resources: Tinx | Podcast Tinx | Instagram Tinx | TikTok Hotter in the HamptonsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Chapter 1: What is the focus of this episode?
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Chapter 2: How can I start meditating if I feel stuck?
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Hey everyone, it's Jay Shetty, and I'm thrilled to announce my podcast tour. For the first time ever, you can experience On Purpose in person. Join me in a city near you for meaningful, insightful conversations with surprise guests. It could be a celebrity, top wellness expert, or a CEO or business leader.
We'll dive into experiences designed to experience growth, spark learning, and build real connections. I can't wait to meet you. There are a limited number of VIP experiences for a private Q&A, intimate meditation, and a meet and greet with photos. Tickets are on sale now. Head to jsheddy.me forward slash tour and get yours today. Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose.
Today's episode is a little different because instead of hosting, I'm the guest. I joined Tinks on her show, Office Hours, for a deep and insightful conversation where I answer some of the most thought-provoking questions about relationships, dating, and the stresses of life. I always love these conversations because...
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Chapter 3: What are practical strategies to reduce digital overwhelm?
I feel like the questions that she's asking me are what some of you are asking me. It's what you're worried about. It's what you're thinking about. So if you're struggling with dating right now, if you're struggling with your relationships right now, if you're struggling with a breakup, this episode is for you.
If you're navigating a big life decision, a big life transition, feeling overwhelmed with the news and what's happening around you, this episode is for you. I hope you enjoy it.
The number one health and wellness podcast. Jay Shetty.
Jay Shetty. The one, the only Jay Shetty.
Welcome to Office Hours. It's so nice to have you on.
Thanks for having me. I'm so grateful to be here.
This is so exciting. God, I love Calm. I have to say, I love that app. Even though I'm not a meditator, I will get into that later. I have to say that app is like one of the most used on my phone. How has that experience been for you?
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Chapter 4: How can I create a tech-free morning routine?
That makes me so happy. Yeah, I joined Calm as their chief purpose officer three years ago now. And it all came from this beautiful friendship I had with the founders of Calm. So Michael Acton Smith and Alex, they both founded the app. And we kept hearing from both our worlds that I should connect with them. And they were hearing that they should connect with me. And we got together.
And it's been incredible to record a seven-minute meditation five days a week, every week for the last three years.
Wow.
And so if someone wants to build a meditation practice, there's seven minutes a day set up for you every single day.
That's so cool.
Yeah, it's pretty fun. That's amazing.
Are you sort of like a consultant as well for them? Do they bounce ideas off of you?
Yeah, we'll discuss everything from what we're expanding with, how the brain's looking into health right now. I love it. We've been having so many amazing conversations. I'm so... proud of, I mean, what we've been able to create together, but what they've done, because it's really showed us how meditation can be stories and can be walks and can be practices. So true. And that's what I loved.
I didn't want people to have this limited view of what meditation was. I wanted them to have this really practical, alive view of it. I know. It's incredible to see that.
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Chapter 5: What types of love should I know about?
Like, what do you recommend for someone who is stuck with meditation aside from calm or talk about a little bit more about calm?
who thinks that meditation simply won't work for them because I guess that's kind of me I mean I do calm I use the I like the sleep going to sleep ones every single night I listen to it and if I'm anxious on the plane I listen there's a lot of great short ones on on the app but for someone who wants to really get into meditation who feels stuck what would you say
Yeah, I find it so funny when people come up to me, they're like, you put me to bed every night. And I love that feeling. It's such a nice feeling. And having that intimate space with someone. But for anyone who's struggling with meditation, the first thing I'd say is everyone struggles with meditation. It's almost like trying to work out. I feel like you would never.
I imagine you can meditate for just like perfectly and you're so good at it. And sometimes I even think about when I see like you on Instagram or whatever, I'm like,
that guy meditates so well and I know it but it's just it's hard it's been nearly 20 years I better meditate well now I know but I just I automatically think of the to-do list when I try to do it with no calm app I'm like oh my god I have to call the plumber oh my god I have to do that and that it's just so hard to kick into it but I really love calm so maybe it's about marrying the two
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Chapter 6: How do I find peace during my singlehood?
So I want to share a few things. The first thing is that there's three types of meditation. There's breath work, there's visualization, and there's mantra. And I'll explain all three. And I was trained in all three during my time as a monk. And so I love helping it be a menu for people because I think sometimes people just don't know where to start.
And so I remember my first day in the monastery in India and I saw a young monk teaching younger monks how to meditate. And so I walked up to this young monk and asked him, what are you doing? And he said, it's their first day of school. I'm teaching them how to breathe. And I said, okay. And he said, what did you learn on your first day of school?
And I said, maybe one, two, three, ABC, I don't know. And he said, well, here we teach them how to breathe because the only thing that stays with you from the moment you're born to the moment you die is your breath. And he said, everything else changes, your family, your friends, where you live, all of that can change, but the breath stays with you that whole time. And then he said to me,
what changes when you're happy? Your breath. What changes when you're sad? Your breath. What changes when you're late? Your breath. What changes when you're angry? Your breath. And he said, every emotion in your life is connected to your breath. So if you learn to master your breath, you learn to master life.
Now he was 10 years old and something like that, like 10, 11 years old and sharing all this wisdom. And the reason why I love that story is because you stop looking at meditation as this thing you have to do. And you recognize it's actually a way of living. It's who you are. You have your breath. And if you look at the best athletes, the best musicians, the best
People out there in the world doing incredible things, they've all learned to master their breath. You can't run for that long without knowing your breath. You can't play a wind instrument for that long without mastering your breath. And when you look at it that way, you recognize we're all athletes. We all require and demand so much of our bodies.
And so for anyone who's struggling to start with meditation, my tiny request is just notice how you inhale and notice how you exhale. And so if we inhale together right now, things together, You can probably feel something happening in your nostrils. You can feel the change of your body.
And the practice I like people to get comfortable with is as you're listening to this, if you can, of course, if you're driving, don't do this. Or if you're on the treadmill, maybe don't do this. But place your left palm on your stomach. Okay. And as you breathe in, feel your stomach come out.
And as you breathe out, feel your stomach go in. As you breathe in, feel your stomach go out. And as you breathe out, feel your stomach go in.
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Chapter 7: What should I expect from the On Purpose Live Tour?
Chapter 8: How can I build real human connections in a digital world?
Now, Tinks, were you thinking about what you're going to eat later?
No, I wasn't.
I really wasn't. You weren't, right? And what's beautiful about it is we use the sense of touch. So we were touching our stomachs. We could feel something changing. And I think sometimes we think meditation's in the mind. But what I like to remind people is that meditation is a very...
physical feelable thing and so both of us there for a second felt everything stop felt everything slow down and felt disconnected even from the space we were in and so use all your senses light some incense if you like so that the sense of smell is engaged hold your stomach hold on to something if that helps you feel connected don't feel like you have to do it all in your head
Yeah. Wow. No, it's so true. That's my favorite part of the sleeping meditation that I do from the Calm app is like breathe in, you know, then hold and breathe out. And it's it's crazy the power of breath, because even just doing those two breaths now did calm me down, kind of refocus like I was running from something. I'm kind of, you know, mine's all over the place.
As usual, we're all doing a million things. And we don't think about breathing that much. And we don't focus on it, but it's incredible the power of just a few breaths that can transform your moment.
Absolutely. Our usual experience of life is our mind is moving fast. And our body is sitting still. So true. Our mind is racing from the moment we're up and our body is sitting in a chair. And what meditation teaches you to do is still your mind so that you can move your body. And that's what we need to get to.
We need to get to a place where we're moving our body, stilling our mind as opposed to the other way around. And I completely agree with you that if anyone... I think the best time to use it is use it when you feel like you just rushed to jump onto that train. Right.
Or when you were just rushing into that Uber or when you were just rushing into a meeting, take a second to just do three deep inhales and exhales. And all of a sudden you'll start to gain confidence in it. I think people think meditation has to be something you do outside of your real life. I think about it completely the opposite. I do it in the back of Ubers. I do it when I'm on trains.
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