On Purpose with Jay Shetty
If You’re a People Pleaser Listen to This! (Why Putting Yourself First Isn’t Selfish, It’s Necessary For Real Connection)
Wed, 28 May 2025
Do you feel guilty when you put your needs before others by saying no? When was the last time you chose yourself—just because you needed it, not because you earned it? Today, Jay is joined by Meggan Roxanne, writer, entrepreneur, and founder of the globally loved platform The Good Quote. Known for curating some of the internet’s most powerful and inspiring affirmations, Meggan now steps into the spotlight with her own voice, sharing a remarkable personal story of loss, resilience, and transformation. From growing up in a warm and loving home to experiencing a heart-wrenching moment at just four years old, when a grandparent told her they didn’t love her, Meggan opens up about how early trauma shaped her emotional world. Following her mother’s final wish, Meggan became the caretaker for her estranged grandfather, the very man who once wounded her deeply. Through that act of grace, she discovered the true meaning of forgiveness, empathy, and unconditional love. Throughout the episode, Meggan and Jay explore the difference between people-pleasing and creating space for authentic connection, how emotional boundaries protect our well-being, and what it takes to stop repeating the pain we’ve inherited. She candidly discusses the challenges of grief, especially after losing her mother, her best friend, her guide, and how that loss forced her to reimagine her identity and rebuild from the ground up. In this episode, you'll learn: How to Forgive Someone Who Hurt You Deeply How to Set Boundaries Without Feeling Guilty How to Heal After Losing a Parent How to Reconnect with Your Intuition How to Break Generational Cycles of Trauma How to Build Confidence Through Self-Respect Even in the darkest of seasons, you have the power to find peace, reshape your path, and step into a life guided by intention, healing, and light. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 00:30 The Pain of Feeling Unloved by Family 04:12 Would You Take Care of Someone Who Doesn't Love You? 10:20 How Do You Enforce Your Boundaries? 16:20 Are You a Chronic People Pleaser? 23:06 How The Good Quote Started 34:59 Do You Trust Your Intuition? 43:49 Your Intuition is Your Best Guide 45:20 How Do You Reconnect with Your Intuition? 50:52 How Meditation Helps Calm Down Your Day 53:10 Dealing with Grief, Depression, & Losing a Loved One Episode Resources: Meggan Roxanne | Instagram Meggan Roxanne | LinkedIn The Good Quote | Instagram The Good Quote | Facebook The Good Quote | Tumblr How to Stop Breaking Your Own Heart: THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER. Stop People-Pleasing, Set Boundaries, and Heal from Self-SabotageSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Chapter 1: What is the pain of feeling unloved by family?
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I stopped people pleasing when I realized the people that I was trying to please were not trying to reciprocate that energy to me. I also realized that I was putting myself second almost all the time for other people with very little reciprocation. I had to stop for my own sanity and for my own self-respect. When you compare your efforts to others,
And you almost look and you can see they've got boundaries that I don't have. Because if I ask them to do what they're asking me, they would say no. Why would they say no? Is it because they're a horrible person? Is it because of this or they're selfish? No, it's because of their boundary.
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Chapter 2: How do you enforce your boundaries?
The number one health and wellness podcast. Jay Shetty. Jay Shetty.
The one, the only Jay Shetty.
Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the place you come to become happier, healthier, and more healed. Today's guest is someone that I've known for quite a few years now. We'll share a bit about our background and story of how we got to know each other. I'm speaking about Megan Roxanne.
a first-generation British Trinidadian entrepreneur, author, speaker, and the inspirational force behind the renowned platform, The Good Quote. Her new book is out right now. It's called How to Stop Breaking Your Heart. You'll see a little testimonial here from me because I think this book is brilliant.
It's got so many great insights, wise pieces of guidance that will help you in your lowest, difficult, toughest times. and help you avoid those if you manage to be able to surpass them. Please welcome to On Purpose, Megan Roxanne. Megan, it's so great to finally have you here. This is awesome.
Thank you so much for having me, Jay. Thank you. It's great to be here.
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Chapter 3: Are you a chronic people pleaser?
I was so happy when you told me you were writing a book and you said, you know, can you read it and share a testimonial for it? Because I know how challenging this journey has been for you for putting yourself out there. I
the most motivational page on social media, without a doubt, the good quote, and the amount of impact that it's had, how it shifted the culture of what people are doing on social media. It's had such a beautiful ripple effect to so many other people you've supported, myself included, and I'll share a bit on that. And you've always had this
challenge of putting yourself out there and so when you were writing this book and I picked it up and I looked at it and you asked me for a couple of words I was just so proud of you as a friend I was so excited for you and I was so excited for everyone else that would now have access to yours as well and your story so congratulations from from a friend really I mean it thank you I appreciate that thank you
I just want to give a bit of background for people. I remember I just, I started posting content to Facebook in 2016 and it was really taking off. And then I remember Instagram being a platform that I was trying to find traction on and sharing my content.
And I was looking at other pages that had the same values as mine, like people who believed in wisdom, people who believed in wanting to share that freely with everyone, people who wanted to make wisdom as cool and as sexy and as accessible as everything else on the internet.
And I remember coming across the good quote and I remember just sending a DM and saying, hey, would you guys share my stuff? And I literally at that time used to just send... I would find anyone of equal value on social media and I would just DM them and say, hey, I'd love to connect. I'm making content. Would you be able to share it?
And you were so kind that you decided to support me at that early stage. And honestly, it gave me my first breakthrough on Instagram because all of a sudden all these people were... aware of my work. And what I always found was that it was always still about the content. Like the content had to be good.
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Chapter 4: How did The Good Quote start?
But what I found was that the fact that you were able to distribute it to so many more people, I was able to see that my content was resonating with even more people. So I'm so grateful for that initial connection and collaboration we had because it was so important to me and the beginning of my journey. And I know it's not just me, you've helped so many people. So anyway, my first question is,
How does it feel when at four years old, you hear from a grandparent that they don't love you?
Oh, wow.
That's how you start the book.
Yeah. Okay. So that was the first time I ever felt the impact of words physically. I didn't know that words can hurt you. I didn't even know there was a thing as internal pain. I was only four and I was used to getting a little slap behind the back of the leg if I did something naughty. But To be told, especially when my entire reality was based on love, I had a really great home growing up.
So to be told that was really difficult to comprehend, but the physical pain of my chest, my heart, it literally felt like somebody was trying to split it. And I will never forget that pain because it was the first time I've ever felt it. And when I explained to my mother what happened and I described the pain, It's almost like she knew, okay, my family's gotten to her now.
It was a good four years. But she didn't ever want me to experience that, and I did. And... If I'm being honest with you, it really took away a lot of my innocence as well. I was robbed of innocence during that time.
I don't think children should know what it's like to be hurt or spoken to badly or have to cry themselves at night time or sitting on the sofa waiting for their parents to come home and, you know, feeling sad. It's not an emotion that a child should have to feel. I felt it. And it's a lasting memory that I will always remember.
Why did he say? Did you ever ask him or did you ever find out?
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Chapter 5: How do you trust your intuition?
he didn't care how he hurt people what his words did he didn't care he was a happy-go-lucky rum drinker you know as a man he did what he had to do for his family he provided but as a person he wasn't that great um he had great friends you know in the family in the west indies everyone would think he was this great guy but actually to live with him he was a bit of a monster
The reason why I'm being careful of my words is because my grandfather and I went on a journey in the last two years of me caring for him. And I forgave him. And he explained to me the reasonings behind his treatment towards his children. And it was simply put, what he experienced is what he provided. So there's a level of generational ignorance that was passed down from my grandfather.
And the ricochet of that is... while I'm sitting right here with this book in your hand. There wasn't that much emotional intelligence with my grandparents. You know, they would do something to you, they wouldn't apologise. And that was kind of something the generation that they came from were accustomed to doing. Apologising to your children is not really something that you hear people do.
My mother apologised to me many times. She said to me one time, you know, anything that I experienced in my house growing up, I will not bring here. So my grandfather was just a character that I knew was always miserable, always angry, drinking, loved to watch cricket. And that was basically it. He wasn't a great person to be around if you were looking for motivation or anything positive.
Wow. How did it feel? I didn't even think we were going to go down this direction, but I have to ask, how did it feel to care for someone who told you they didn't love you that early in your life?
Because that process seems to be, I know when I'm speaking to a lot of my community or I'm reading comments or I read DMs and I really listen in on what my community cares about so I can serve them better. And a lot of people find themselves in that position where someone who's caused them pain is the person that they're now caring for or they're supporting or they're in the same house for years.
And the question is always, Jay, how do I survive around someone like that, let alone care for them? So how did you even reconcile it in the beginning of that two-year journey? Because that feels like the ultimate test of everything that you're saying in the book.
Well, this is going to sound so strange, but in my spirit this morning, I knew you were going to ask me something like that. And I saw that you shared something on your stories. Somebody asked you about their relationship with their mother and your reply was forgiveness and empathy. And that's it, Jay. That's literally it. My mother asked me to care for my grandfather as she was passing away.
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Chapter 6: How do you heal after losing a parent?
And reluctantly, I said yes, because that was my best friend. And I knew that there was a reason behind it. And at the time, I didn't.
want to do it but I just knew for future Megan this is an investment that I actually have to go through and devote myself to and it was literally for that my mother's last lesson was for me to care for my grandfather so I can understand the power of forgiveness I thought I understood forgiveness But I didn't. Looking after my grandfather meant that I had to create new boundaries.
I had to stand up for myself in so many ways. There were so many rumours spread by other malicious family members of mine that were untrue, that I had to work my way around whilst grieving for my mum. My grandfather was left unattended for the years I was looking after my mother when she was passing away from stage four cancer. We actually went to the West Indies.
And when I got back, I assumed that my mother's siblings were looking after him, but they weren't. So when I got back, I was faced with the responsibility of looking after him, renovating his house, bringing him back to a full bill of health, which I did. And during that entire process, there was a level of trust that had to be obtained.
Even helping my grandfather walk again, I had to literally help him walk. And there were times where he would just be like, Pass me the Guinness. I haven't got time for this. I'll just sit here. You know, and then there were other times where he was really determined.
And it was through these experiences that I had no other choice but to seek forgiveness because I was spending a lot of time with him. And then there were a lot of unanswered questions, a lot of things that I needed for my own journey, a lot of things that I wanted to, a lot of chapters that I wanted to close for my mother, even though she passed away, just for the principle of it.
You know, so my grandfather and I did a lot of talking. When I became more aware of his reasonings, his justifications, which weren't great at all, but transparently truthful, I then started to develop a level of respect for him. It takes a lot of
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Chapter 7: How do you break generational cycles of trauma?
bravery and courage at 90 years old to admit where you've gone wrong in life and actually apologise to somebody less than half your age, especially if it's not part of your culture or it's not something that you've been raised to do. So, When my grandfather passed away, you know, I went to view his body and I sat there and I just thought to myself, it is well. It is well, the chapter is closed.
I broke that curse. Moving on, my children don't have to hear about their great-grandfather with so much anger in my voice. I can just say... I could talk about the last two years. I don't have to talk about everything that happened before because I've healed past that. And the reason why we do heal, obviously for our own harmony, but so we don't pass on more pain.
I didn't have to inherit my family's pain and trauma, but I did. But it's my duty and my job to ensure that I don't pass it on. And I think that's what my mother did. was trying to teach me behind the importance of forgiveness is to put a final stop to it so that you can move on and live your life. But you have to forgive. Because I had so much anger in my heart for my grandfather.
But then when I saw him and his... Little efforts of determination to get walking again, or I might go and see him in the morning and he might make me some pilau, you know, or some curry goat and pilau or whatnot. And I think, OK, there's something bubbling here and I'm not going to be the person to interrupt that. Let me just see where this journey takes us. So when he passed away, I...
I was happy for him. I was happy that he was able to transition. I prayed for him and I was able to walk away knowing that I don't have to carry that burden anymore.
What's so valuable with the insight you just shared is that you were able to place the virtue of forgiveness above how you felt about it. Because it meant something to your mum, because you believed that it had something to do with a better future for Megan. And I find that to be remarkable in a time where I feel we've actually gone the other way.
So a lot of the time we're so fixated on what makes me feel good now, what makes me comfortable now, what feels right for me now. And it's really interesting because I've been thinking about this a lot lately that this pursuit of virtues is actually the only way you'll ever be happy.
Because even if you did what you wanted now and you disregarded everything else, later on, you still haven't healed or created and built forgiveness. And so you're still living in that bitterness and that pain, even if the person passes away. And even if you were away from them for years and years and years. Yeah. But how do we reconcile that?
At what point is it self-disrespect to aspire for a virtue while someone is potentially creating havoc in your life? How do you see that in terms of setting boundaries in, I'm going to care for them because I see this virtue being there, but then at the same time, I'm not just going to allow myself to be abused or disrespected.
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Chapter 8: What is the difference between people-pleasing and wanting to see people happy?
So three weeks into launching Tumblr, I started a clothing line called Cool Story Bro, which was a slogan back in the day. And my mother was an accountant, a bookkeeper at the time, and she was making about... £40,000 a year. And I pulled in £36,000 in three weeks for just selling that clothing based on that community. And I kept it very transparent. I'm building this.
I'm putting this for sale because I'm trying to figure out what it is I'm doing with my creativity. So I'm investing in myself. You can purchase if you want. So many orders, Jay. And it made me realize how needed this platform is. People really need encouragement. You know, people really need to be seen. And just as Cushion Wisdom started to grow, my mother got diagnosed with breast cancer.
So I took a year off and I cared for her. And during that year, I think I kind of lost the momentum of Cushion Wisdom. I met my business partner in a Caribbean restaurant and he was like, this is what you should be doing. We can do this. We can do that. We move over to the good quote.
And on the good quote, it was a bit different because I, instead of taking pictures that I didn't take and other people's lyrics I didn't write, I had to find writers. So I went onto Twitter and I started looking for writers and I found a bunch new up and coming writers, maybe 500 followers, a thousand followers. But I was reading through their timelines and I was like,
oh shit, this is really, I like this. And the demand on Instagram was much more than Tumblr. So I went from posting a few times a day on Tumblr to 24 hours a day on Instagram. And I was explaining this to other people. Anytime people ask me about this story, I tell them I slept for 50 minutes and then I would wake up quickly post because there was no scheduling.
There
I was going mad. My mental health was declining by the day, but my followers, I gained a million followers in a month.
Wow.
In my first month. We, we, we've never seen anything like that before. And every celebrity at one stage was following us. We had, when I met you in LA, I actually messaged Khloe Kardashian and she replied, you know, and so many people, I actually had an, I think the first person that had beef with us was a singer called Kerry Hilson.
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