On Purpose with Jay Shetty
How to Manifest Your Dream Partner this Year (Desperation is BLOCKING You)
Fri, 14 Feb 2025
What qualities do you truly want in a partner? Do you believe in manifestation when it comes to love? Today, Jay explores how you can break free from insecurity and build lasting confidence using science-backed techniques and practical mindset shifts. Jay opens the episode by addressing the invisible forces that keep us stuck in self-doubt, such as fear of failure, scarcity mindset, and negative self-talk. He explains that our brains are wired for survival, not confidence, which means that many of our insecurities stem from a natural instinct to protect ourselves from perceived threats. Jay introduces seven powerful strategies for retraining the brain for confidence. First, he explains the importance of stopping the brain’s “threat detection system”, which makes us perceive challenges as dangers rather than opportunities. He then highlights unconscious competence, where we often fail to recognize the skills we’ve already mastered. By tapping into this, we can use our existing strengths as a foundation for greater self-assurance. In this episode, you'll learn: How to Overcome the Fear of Being Judged How to Let Go of What No Longer Serves You How to Take Control of Your Confidence How to Shift from Self-Doubt to Self-Belief How to Train Your Brain to Build Lasting Confidence Confidence is not about being perfect; it’s about showing up, learning, and giving yourself the grace to evolve. You have everything within you to shift from doubt to self-trust. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 01:48 How to Manifest Love this Year 05:35 The State of Desperation and Detachment 07:18 Desperation Leads to a Lot of Challenges 09:45 Desperation Leads to Overthinking 13:06 Desperation Leads to Toxic Situations 15:18 Things You Do When You Detach Yourself from Others 21:22 #1: Take Small Steps Toward Love 23:48 #2: Be Patient for Love 24:55 #3: Align What You Think, Say and Do 26:26 #4: Live as if You Already Have Love 28:09 #5: Find Healing Before Your Next RelationshipSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Chapter 1: How can you start manifesting love this year?
Hey everyone, it's Jay Shetty and I'm thrilled to announce my podcast tour. For the first time ever, you can see my on-purpose podcast live and in person. Join me in a city near you for meaningful, insightful conversations with surprise guests. It could be a celebrity, top wellness expert, or a CEO or business leader.
We'll dive into experiences designed to inspire growth, spark learning and build real connections. I can't wait to see you there. Tickets are on sale now. Head to jshetty.me and get yours today. Every text, every moment of silence. Every look feels like a test of your worth and their love. You're messaging going, hey, wait, wait, wait, what did you mean by that? Hey, are we on the same page?
Do you really want to see me? I'm not sure. If you don't want to see me, it's okay, right? That desperation is not a state through which we manifest and attract love.
The number one health and wellness podcast. Jay Shetty. Jay Shetty.
The one, the only Jay Shetty. Ha, ha, ha.
Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose. I'm your host Jay Shetty and I am so grateful that you're here. I have to start with, I am so excited that I'm taking On Purpose on tour this year and I want you to come and see me. Head over to jayshetty.me forward slash tour. That's jshetty.me forward slash tour so that you can come and see me live. I can't wait for you to see our special guests.
We're going to have experts, celebrities, thought leaders. It's going to be really deep, profound work, and it's going to be a lot of fun. Bring your friends, bring your family. I can't wait to see you. Now, today's episode is all about how 2025 becomes the year we manifest love. Whether you're in a relationship, whether you're single, whether you're dating, this episode is for you.
If you're someone who for so long feels like they've tried everything and anything to find love, this episode is for you. If you're someone who's in a long-term relationship, but you want to infuse it with more love, this episode is for you. And if you're someone who's dating right now, exhausted with the apps, got so much going on, this episode is for you.
The first question I want to share with you is who would you be today if you knew you were going to meet the person you will love for the rest of your life? Who would you be if you knew you were going to meet the person you would love for the rest of your life today? Let's say you were going to meet them in three hours, in five hours, in six hours. What would you do differently?
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Chapter 2: What are the dangers of desperation in finding love?
What would be the focus of your life? How would it change the way you feel? Not just what you would do. How would it change the way you feel? the way you feel about love, the way you feel about happiness, the way you feel about life? Would you have an extra skip in your step? Would you be that much more alert? Would you be that much more positive? Would you be that much more kind?
What would it feel like if you knew the person of your dreams, the person you would spend the rest of your life with, was three hours away from you? How would you feel and how would that change the way you behave? Just feel that in your body for a moment. Maybe it makes you smile. Maybe it makes you slightly nervous. Maybe you can feel the butterflies.
Maybe you shed a tear because it's been such a painful journey. Think about that for a second. How would it feel? Embody that. How would it feel? I want you to remember this feeling because I want you to bring yourself back to this whenever you feel you're drifting away. It's this energy that attracts and manifests the partner that you want.
Because it's this excitement, this enthusiasm that is the magnet to attract that. When we talk about manifesting, what we're trying to do is become a magnet so we can attract things in our direction. The energy, the vibrancy, the frequency of attraction is this. The genuine belief, the natural feeling, the organic manifestation That it's just around the corner And guess what?
Whether you do meet the love of your life in three hours or not It's just a beautiful place to live It's a happier mind It's a healthier body It's a more healed heart Isn't that where we all want to live? Isn't that what would truly be a magnet for the right person? This is the year you manifest love. If you follow these simple guidelines that I'm about to share today, it will change your life.
Now, I want to start off with what we usually do. We don't live in the state that I just talked about. We live in one of two states as humans because we love extremes. We either live in a state of desperation on one end Or we live in a state of detachment. So desperation is, oh my gosh, I need to find love. I need to go on a date. Oh my God, I'm never going to find someone.
Oh my gosh, everyone's getting married. Oh my God, I'm so behind. Oh my gosh, am I ever going to find someone? That's desperation. And you don't have to tell me. We've all experienced that. We've all been there. We know what it feels like. But then sometimes we do the opposite, the detachment. I'm too busy. I'm focused on my career. I don't need love. It's not that important.
It will work itself out. I'm not paying any attention. And whether we mean that, whether we truly believe that, we've all been on that side too. And guess what? Here we still are. Whether you're in a relationship or not, here we still are without love. If you're in a relationship, desperation looks like, I wish my partner would give me more attention. Why don't they care about my birthday?
Oh my God, we didn't do anything for Valentine's Day. We didn't do anything for Christmas. You know, they just don't care about me. We know what that feels like. And then if you're in a relationship, detachment feels like, oh, no, we're independent. He's got his thing going on. I've got my thing going on. We don't really need each other. Those are both not states of love.
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Chapter 3: What does living in a state of detachment look like?
Chapter 4: How can you retrain your brain for confidence in relationships?
Hey everyone, it's Jay Shetty and I'm thrilled to announce my podcast tour. For the first time ever, you can see my on-purpose podcast live and in person. Join me in a city near you for meaningful, insightful conversations with surprise guests. It could be a celebrity, top wellness expert, or a CEO or business leader.
We'll dive into experiences designed to inspire growth, spark learning and build real connections. I can't wait to see you there. Tickets are on sale now. Head to jshetty.me and get yours today. Every text, every moment of silence. Every look feels like a test of your worth and their love. You're messaging going, hey, wait, wait, wait, what did you mean by that? Hey, are we on the same page?
Do you really want to see me? I'm not sure. If you don't want to see me, it's okay, right? That desperation is not a state through which we manifest and attract love.
The number one health and wellness podcast. Jay Shetty. Jay Shetty.
The one, the only Jay Shetty. Ha, ha, ha.
Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose. I'm your host Jay Shetty and I am so grateful that you're here. I have to start with, I am so excited that I'm taking On Purpose on tour this year and I want you to come and see me. Head over to jayshetty.me forward slash tour. That's jshetty.me forward slash tour so that you can come and see me live. I can't wait for you to see our special guests.
We're going to have experts, celebrities, thought leaders. It's going to be really deep, profound work, and it's going to be a lot of fun. Bring your friends, bring your family. I can't wait to see you. Now, today's episode is all about how 2025 becomes the year we manifest love. Whether you're in a relationship, whether you're single, whether you're dating, this episode is for you.
If you're someone who for so long feels like they've tried everything and anything to find love, this episode is for you. If you're someone who's in a long-term relationship, but you want to infuse it with more love, this episode is for you. And if you're someone who's dating right now, exhausted with the apps, got so much going on, this episode is for you.
The first question I want to share with you is who would you be today if you knew you were going to meet the person you will love for the rest of your life? Who would you be if you knew you were going to meet the person you would love for the rest of your life today? Let's say you were going to meet them in three hours, in five hours, in six hours. What would you do differently?
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Chapter 5: What are the steps to overcome desperation and find love?
You're messaging, hey, wait, wait, wait, what did you mean by that? Hey, are we on the same page? Do you really want to see me? I'm not sure. If you don't want to see me, it's okay. Right? That desperation means we're overthinking everything. That overthinking energy is not a state through which we manifest and attract love.
We manifest and attract more overthinking, more anxiety, more stress, more drama. And we've all been there as well. When we're desperate, we often lose ourselves. We change our hobbies, change our opinions. We change our personality to match whatever that person wants. And we've seen where that leads. That person eventually decides to choose their own way.
And we feel hard done by because we changed who we were to keep them in our life. Don't change who you are to keep someone in your life. Don't become who they are to hope they will stay. Be who you are and see who stays to grow with you.
It's so fascinating to me how so many of us trade and lose our identity in the desperate desire to have love in our lives only to realize that that energetic state doesn't create love, it creates loss. loss of ourselves and loss of that person because that person won't stick around because they'll also get a sense that you're not yourself.
Or when you get a sense that you're not yourself anymore and you finally share who you are with them, they'll be outbroken about that. A lot of us, when we're desperate, we rush things. We skip steps. We imagine a future before there's a solid foundation. Think about that for a second. How many times have you ever imagined the future before there was a solid foundation?
A lot of us, when we're desperate, we seek validation constantly. We crave reassurance. We read too much into small gestures. We're desperately searching for proof that we're loved, right? We want to see that. We want to feel that at every moment. We need it. That desperate act doesn't create love. It creates neediness. It creates dependency. It creates stress for the other person.
And if we're desperate, we avoid boundaries. We're too scared to say no, to stand up for ourselves. We're scared we're going to push someone away. So we pull them closer by pushing ourselves away. Right? Think about that for a second. You're so scared you're going to push someone away that you pull them closer. But the way you do that is you push yourself away from yourself.
You get so far away from yourself so you can be so close to someone else only to push them further away because they never really got to know you. And finally, when we're desperate, we stay in toxic situations. Sadly, I know too many friends, too many people who will accept physical, verbal, emotional abuse, staying in a toxic situation without love because we're too scared of being alone.
So that's what desperation does. And as you can see, what I'm trying to paint is a picture of the state that is created as opposed to the state that we live in when love is just around the corner. Notice how like light and hopefully happy and filled or fulfilled you felt when I started talking at the beginning of the episode. And now I'm kind of feeling a bit heavy, right? It's heavy.
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