Joanne loves a treat... Don't we all!? Vogue loves a treat too, but she also loves being told she runs fast and hearing about the most ridiculous reasons people broke up. If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [email protected] review Global's Privacy Policy: global.com/legal/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, visit: www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.
Chapter 1: What is the theme of treating oneself?
I had a day for myself yesterday. It was a heavy weekend, actually. What?
I treated myself to a day. How unusual.
No one's nicer to themselves. The only time I'm not treating myself is when I'm asleep. It's the only time I'm not treating myself. You're like, I deserve a treat. I deserve a treat. While I'm in the middle of treating myself already. I've been treating myself online a lot this week, to be honest with you. Mine's more just... Like, I just love... Do you know what I love? I love a boozy lunch.
It's my favourite thing in the world. I just love a boozy lunch. And I went on a lady date with the girl that I was telling you about, the publicist. Yeah. I have a real... I love a publicist, because obviously I was one. And I was just like, let's go and have... a fucking nice day out and do a bit of PR, a bit of meeting and bond.
So we've come up with... I said it was a very little bit of PR. Was there any PR? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
There was PR, yeah. Did you say, how's work? Good, great, let's go. So you're a publicist, okay. 60 martinis, please. So what is a martini?
So a martini... It looks disgusting, sorry. It looks disgusting.
Soho House where I was they do regular martini dirty martini and a filthy martini. And what's in the filthy obviously? I want to know that. Three fat olives. Dirty martinis, two fat olives, clean martinis, no olives at all. What else is in there? A martini? I have no idea. What's in a martini?
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Chapter 2: What are the different types of martinis?
What's in a martini, Jo? It's just vodka.
There you go.
Let me Google it because I was asking a question.
There you go. No frills. And there's martini in there as well, isn't there?
That's what you want. No frills. Do you know what I mean? I'm hardcore. The base spirit of the martini is vodka martini, which uses vodka instead of gin. Did you have a gin or a vodka? I wouldn't tell you. No. They didn't ask and I didn't ask. They didn't ask me and I didn't ask them.
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Chapter 3: How to enjoy a boozy lunch responsibly?
Now, you've got to be careful with drinks like that because that happened to me with the old margaritas and I had... Are you still talking about the margaritas? Excuse me, I've got myself a cocktail set for your house. I didn't know. I didn't know. I didn't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was like god I'm really fucked up because they taste so delicious they really go down the hatch swimmingly so you're like the problem with the martini is my lunch date was drinking wine so she was kind of taking her time with the words I was just slamming these yolks I was just trying I was trying to slow down by eating the olives and also in fairness the martinis are so disgusting that you have to try and shot them because they taste exactly
I felt like your man in that thing.
We'll pause just briefly just to say, do drink responsibly.
Grow up, Joe. What's your man... Oh, do, do, do. Of course, of course, do, do, do, do. Do everything responsibly if you can.
If you can. You can't always commit to that. Allegedly.
No, you can't.
Allegedly, yeah.
You can't commit to responsibly all the time. The film where the TV show where they were making ads back in the day. Mad Men, that's it. I felt like your man in Mad Men. Jon Hamm now. He would be on the odd list for me. I had a great day. We're going to bring her into the group. I'm extending our group. I'm going out into the wild and bringing people back like a cat with a dead mouse.
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Chapter 4: What are the experiences of being tall in the entertainment industry?
I know. I don't know what. Just when you're kind of brainstorming with the public as you start coming up, you think you're going to start, you know.
Spencer was like to me the other day he was like because he looks at my strap like he actually follows to see what I'm up to and he's like you know your pace is always the same I was like yeah and he's like would you not like improve and I was like no I was like what do you think I'm going to do improve my running I run at a certain pace so I can talk I like to talk and walk I saw Naomi for my whole run
yesterday she was telling me about everything yeah the whole time you're so weird I find you utterly bizarre at times do you not need the music to keep you see I used to struggle so you're one of those pricks Vogue makes running she just kind of bounces along like a llama yeah I'm incredibly slow I'm fairly slow you're not slow I've ran with you you're not slow you're not as slow I was hoping you'd say that
yeah you set that one up didn't you I was running with T's because T I told you has that run club with his school and I started to go every Monday that I can today they were running at a 4.55 pace I run at 6 6 they were running at so it's really fast so you know when I'm doing my slow run where I'm running like when I was going fast with you that day that was like 5.45 they were doing like 4.55 like laps and I was like I can't
So I'm on Strictly.
Oh, my God.
Well, well, well, well. I mean, where do we start with the announcement?
I mean, we need to start with the announcement. Do you know what my biggest fear as a giant person is? Being pictured by, with a shorter person, like Gary Barlow and his son, but Gary Barlow's son is only six foot two. He is like dream height for a boy. And like, when I, like, I used to hunch over when I was younger in school because I used to try and be like the same height as people.
And then on this tricky show, oh God.
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Chapter 5: What challenges arise from height differences in dance?
This is very similar. Now, I know that people don't think I'm tall. They do when they meet you. They do. Yes. When I meet women out and about, a lot of them will say, we didn't realize you were tall. And so as another woman of not as gigantic stature as yourself, it's similar to you. You didn't get the strictly job in Ireland. Do you remember?
I didn't get the role of Liesl in The Sound of Music because of my height. Yes. I've struggled in the past as well. And I had to play Rolf, the telegram boy. which as a 15-year-old girl is everyone's worst nightmare. And I said, why didn't I get the role of Liesl? And the drama teacher said, we can't have Liesl taller than her father.
Because she's only 16 going on 17, whereas you can be Rolf, the boy. Wait, was this a girls' school or a mixed school? Girls' school. I mean, if it was a mixed school, I'd say...
Vogue it was a girls school I'm sorry I was in a mixed school and they're like you're still being rough I was in a mixed school and I told you they were doing Baloo the Bear and I had the deepest voice in the mixed school so I got the role of Baloo the Bear but that's the main part yes fair enough you should be thrilled fair enough fair enough So tell us about the dancing.
Okay, so the dancing is very difficult. But I met my partner, it's Carlos, and I actually really wanted him. But I went in and he looked at me and he goes, oh, you can dance. And I thought, oh, Carlos, no, I cannot. And then after about half an hour, he was like, oh, well, we might simplify here. Yes. That's what you want. You know what he...
keeps going like because there's this like walk in the dance that we're doing I can't say what the dance is yet there's this walk in the dance that we're doing he goes I'm going to make you walk like a woman and I'm like oh oh I don't understand what am I walking like oh my god Carlos has seen the white gate and I'm basically stamping around the room as well and he's like lighter feet and I'm like I I'm not elegant I told you
Did we ever say on the podcast, I don't think we did say it on the podcast because it was in the live show, which is finished now, the show we did the tour on.
Yeah.
We showed footage of when you did Dance With The Stars in Australia and your partner was a little smaller than you. And then, so you were like, he couldn't do any of the lifts. And then the scene that we showed in the thing was at the end, instead of him kind of lifting you up, he dragged you off. Did we ever tell that story? Dragged me off. No, I never did it.
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Chapter 6: How does shrinkflation affect our favorite foods?
And then I eventually found your little floating heads. we had a great breakfast actually didn't we you know what the weirdest thing was we were exactly where we told you we were going to be Battersea Park is very discombobulating it is in fairness it's so cool everyone's running past you it's terrifying and they're all in those carts driving their oh those carts are so annoying
they're so low on the ground they're like little sports cars but like shit shit and slow and like I got one with tea before and I thought this is crap older kids would be better in them I think yeah yeah yeah I was out the Friday I went out I had a little taskmaster reunion kind of Sophie Willan and Greg Davies and myself went out and had a great old time we'd been threatening to meet up for ages so we had a lovely lovely evening but this is why I had a pretty heavy weekend I know I sound like an absolute piss head but me and Sophie Greg had the sense to not do it
We were like, shots, shots. Oh no, no. And Greg was like, poor Greg, he was like, can I not do shots? I would never do a shot. I don't know where, I don't know where this shot thing is. Why am I shotting?
I'm middle aged. There's no need. Can I just say, you're looking after your future self because if you do shots, you don't get a hangover, I've heard.
I mean... I'm not sure there's much science there.
You saw me in the park.
I... Yeah. Well, you weren't that hungover. No, but I mean, the... I usually wouldn't find the pin thing as... As difficult. As incredibly frustrating and difficult.
We're not great at directions. We did... Well, when you were having your nice Sunday and you tried to ring me, Spencer nearly lost the plot yesterday because Otto's gone on this, like, tyrant where he just wrecks everything. So he's like...
pulling everything off the shelves pushing all the books over and I could hear Spenny like stop it stop it I was like Spenny he's not going to stop and then he comes into our bed he's jumping on our bed pulls off the pillows and Spenny he went back into the kitchen and I heard Spenny like losing his shit and Spenny walked him back in the room and he goes don't let him out of this room again you mind him for the rest of the night this auto yeah
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Chapter 7: What new treats are Joanne and Vogue planning to indulge in?
Anyway, as part of this new kind of moving forward with my fitness and my sleeping and my treating myself. Yeah. I'm going to get one of those. Where are the rings? Gym rings. Yeah. That's what I'm going to do. And then I'll have to wait till that arrives to do anything, which is perfect.
I think that's a good, it picks up everything you do. You're going to really enjoy it. Everything I do. Yeah, I will tell you when you're feeling like shit. You might think, well, if you've been, like your HRV and stuff like that. Oh God, this is getting boring. But your HRV, I know, but like.
What's HRV?
Heart rate variable. So when you're hungover, that goes right down. But it's the same when you have your period. So it's like the same thing. Oh. I remember there's another one that used to like give you a percentage. What? There's another one that used to give you like a recovery percentage. If you had like more than three drinks, you'd be at like 1% and it was just awful.
Maybe this is a mistake. Maybe this is information I do not need. It's like my IQ.
No, just do it for us. Just even for your sleep, I'd like to know. Okay.
Sorry. Oh, it's all right. We'll just pause. That's fine.
Sorry, I've got a gel in the juice.
2024.
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