Did you have a big Easter? Because if you looked at social media, it seems like everybody else had a MASSIVE one. It's exhausting. Plus, Joanne has bought a very shapely vase and Liz Hurley has a new romance that has raised a few eyebrows.If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [email protected] review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.comJoanne's comedy gigs: www.joannemcnally.comVogue's Book Tour: www.fane.co.uk/vogue-williamsThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.
Chapter 1: What is the theme of this episode?
Hello and welcome to My Therapist Goes With Me with me, Vogue Williams, and Joanne McNally.
And Joe Attewell. Hello.
Chapter 2: Why did Joanne buy a unique vase?
before we begin I just want to show you my new now I know I'm fully aware this is an audible platform so not everyone can see this now where did you find she's got a big arse in her hand it's one of those ass everyone knows the ass fads but this one's it looks like it's been surgically done yeah so it's a big ass fadge fadge one of these huge and I've been meaning to get one for a while oh my god fadge
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know how anatomically correct it is because there's no entrance on the front. It's very artistically done. I guess it's a designer vagina. Like, it's basically the female equivalent of a eunuch. There's nothing there, but it's a sexy vase, but it's huge, isn't it? It's like the size of a human ass.
I can imagine the vase wouldn't sell as well had they done the entire anatomy at the front.
I liked it until I saw that. I think it would have sold very well, but maybe not as a vase. Men would be buying it as a vase, and then they'd be fucking...
Yeah, that's it. They'd be fucking.
Yeah, exactly. There wouldn't be a flower scene. Like those sex dolls they sell and the lads, they have to send the bits back. They have to send the woman's vagina back to get fixed. It's absolutely revolting. Because they rinse through it so much that they have to get it sent back to get like tightened again and all. But no, I just, I'm absolutely in love. I was in My Usual Haunt, TK Maxx.
I was talking about you in TK Maxx yesterday to a woman, to my producer on my show. I was like, you know, some people are just good at TK Maxx because I was saying how much I love the home sense. I was like, my friend Joanne can go in there. She's in and out in 20 minutes.
Honestly, yeah. It's like a hobby. I know other people are out cycling and stuff. I know, I understand that people have more worthwhile hobbies. But mine is going in and finding bargains at TK Maxx. So I went in and I found this huge ass fuzz. It's about the size. How much? How much? How much? Well, well, well, folk.
I love a deal.
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Chapter 3: How do Easter celebrations impact parenting?
Okay, listen to me. All religions are at the Easter eggs and at the sending their kids on Easter egg hunts and having that. They're not all about the Jesus is dead and alive again thing, obviously. The Easter bunny seems a little less far-fetched. Yeah, it's so hypocritical. A giant bunny coming and bringing him an egg is way more believable than Jesus dying and coming back to life, Joanne.
Yeah, you can't get all the crack at Easter without having to believe that he died and rose and all that jazz.
It's turned into Christmas. It feels like it's Christmas and everyone has to outdo each other. And I fucked up.
That's all just social media bollocks because people need to be seen to be posting content of them running around with their kids finding eggs.
In my day. Excuse me, I posted a video of me running around after my kids finding eggs. I had done such a bad job of everything else. I was like, I've got to get them finding the eggs my mom bought.
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Chapter 4: What are the challenges of modern parenting during Easter?
Exhibit A. Exhibit A. You've fallen victim to the system, Vogue. You've fallen victim to the system.
I was a bit late. That's why I didn't post till one o'clock because I actually didn't realise that I'd done that. But my brother, my kids aren't that interested in Easter eggs. So my brother had this, his Easter egg hunt that he had in his garden, full size eggs, full size eggs. And my kids went and found them and wanted to take them home. Do you think they came back to London with us?
No, they just, they don't care about the eggs, really.
do you mean they full full size chocolate eggs full size chocolate eggs my brother had like about 20 of them around the garden I was like oh my god were you only were you only shilling little mini ones mini eggs mini tiny little ones I know Joe guys I know wait till you see my Easter next year you're going to be sick I'll have you both over for lamb I'll have you both over for lamb I'm going to do lamb on the barbecue and I'm going to have all my decorations up don't you dare don't you dare
I don't have many morals. But you don't eat lamb. But I do not eat lamb. They're babies.
They're babies.
Listen, I tried. I went off lamb for about six months, but I just.
That's like me skewering Otto and having him with the potato salad.
I only eat ones that died of natural causes.
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Chapter 5: Why is reality TV addictive?
There's parts of it that are so mean. Like they have this photo challenge where they get the couples to line up the photos of everyone else in the challenge and like mark them out from who's hottest to not. And the same two girls keep getting put in the bottom two. And I was like, that's so mean. Would you not just make the photo challenge list the top four women instead of business?
Do the girls do it to the men as well?
Yes. That's really mean. And some of the couples, the husbands aren't even putting their own wives first and everything. It's like, it's so bad.
I do love shows like that though, like Temptation Island, that. I love, love Triangle. Love Triangle makes people lose their mind as well. It's just, I'd hate to be a part of it though.
I was actually thinking, Vogue, I was like, if they, if all, I don't, I don't, I haven't delved into the reality TV... There's only certain things. There's certain reality TV things I would do. Married at First Sight? And if there was some sort of Married at First Sight show, I think I would do it. No, Joanne, everyone would see what we're like. I don't even think I would do this.
I don't think I'd do it. I'd just go to Australia. I'm not a celebrity there. I'm not a celebrity anywhere, really. The only place I could do a celebrity Married at First Sight is potentially Ireland. I don't know. And I'd be set up with Jedward or something. I need to go. But no offence to Jedward. I love the lads. But I'm not into some sort of threesome. So I'd have to go abroad.
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Chapter 6: What are the criticisms of reality TV shows?
I doubt they are either, for God's sake.
Shut up, Jedward!
Jen would fancy the hell off me all I'm saying is right I understand that you want to do something like that but basically whatever you do affects me so I just don't think that you'll be your best self on a show like that I'd probably take it really seriously I'd probably fall madly in love with them yeah and I just think it might it might not look good for us yeah yeah yeah yeah no that's fair we'd have to cut all ties before
100%. I've nothing to do with her anymore. When the pod ends, if there is a Married at First Sight Australia, if it's on Series 68, I am open to an offer, is what I'm saying.
And this isn't even her saying it, like if she's doing badly in work or anything, that that's the only job she could accept. She actually wants to do it when she's on a high.
But I don't want to embarrass Vogue and Jo. So I would have to wait until we are no longer professionally tied. That's very kind of you. We appreciate that. And that has to happen. I think arranged marriages, even though I know this is, I know this is, as Margaret said, a fetid turd. I do think an arranged marriage. A fetid turd. A fetid turd.
I'm going to call somebody a fetid turd today.
A fetid turd. It's a great turn of phrase.
I love you, you fetid turd. God, it really rolls off the tongue, doesn't it? Fantastic. And it makes you sound intelligent, kind of. Doesn't it? Yes.
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