Vogue doesn't just ski... She rescues those in need, she jumps, she twists... She does it all. Away from the slopes, Joanne turned down a PR opportunity and it was probably for the best...If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [email protected] review Global's Privacy Policy: global.com/legal/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, visit: www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.
Chapter 1: What are the highlights of Vogue's skiing trip?
And... And... Oh, it doesn't matter.
It doesn't. Herself indoors. Vogue is coming to us live from the slopes of Alpen.
Of Alpen. Alpen. Picking the raisins out left, right and centre up here. Love it. I'm having, honestly, it is just my favourite holiday. And I know that, like, I'm very lucky to be away doing it and skiing with the kids. A position of off-piste privilege. On-piste. Are you off-piste or on-piste when you're skiing? I'm always on-piste. Sometimes.
I've done a couple of jumps today, to be fair, but mostly on-piste.
What does that mean, on-piste?
So on-piste is like the slopes that are, slopes that are like cultivated for people to ski on. Off-piste are the slopes that are not cultivated. But some people, have you ever seen that on TikTok? Where some people go, they go up on a helicopter to the top of a mountain and basically ski down, like mad stuff. Not for me.
I dated a man before who got dropped off of the... The helicopter? Yeah. No, no, no, no. We went up on the ski lift. Yeah, the Sky Walter. Well, everyone goes on the ski lift. No, no, no, that's not the story. I'm not like, oh my God, he did what? That's it. That's it, yeah. Just got the lift off the top. Never heard from him since.
He just shooped, shooped away from my life. Shooped, shooped out. He's gone in the gondola.
Stop him. off into the sunset off he went shoopy shoop I'm on the phone hello three years later now he went up on the ski lift and he got off the ski lift I think he's still up there about just doing laps laps of Alpen I think I spotted him at the top there earlier on I swear to God just doing laps of Alpen I was like you're your man Joanne's looking for you laughing She's pissed off.
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Chapter 2: What does on-piste and off-piste skiing mean?
Have you done the slippery... What's that slippery thing that the kids do in the summer where they put the washing up liquid on the park and then they go down on a... Slip and slide. Slip and slide. Oh, yeah, big fan of that, yeah. Yeah, I think that's a good start.
You wrote into the group colonoscopy, which obviously picked my ears up. Do you know where you get some interesting interview requests?
Yeah. Long story short, I got a request from a colonoscopy man. Okay. He was like, so I don't know if you're interested, but I do colonoscopies and I'd love to interview while you're getting a colonoscopy for our social content. I was like, are you? Hi. Hi. And he goes, oh, worst case scenario, you get a free colonoscopy. And I was like, that's not the worst case scenario.
The worst case scenario is I actually do it. And there's social content of me with a tube up my ass.
while telling you my life story I was like no no like I get the brands I get a collab I understand it's all back scratching and all that but that's taking the piss I think or taking the if that had been me like six years ago and someone said I'll give you what's the other one not a colonoscopy the one where you it clears you out what's that called again
I think that's a colonoscopy. No. It's the tube up your ass. Yeah, but this one isn't for medical reasons. It clears you out.
A colonic irrigation.
A colonic irrigation. I reckon if someone had come to me with a colonic irrigation years ago, I would have been like, okay.
Oh my God. I totally forgot they're different things. Sorry. I think he was offering me a colonic irrigation. He wanted a colonoscopy.
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Chapter 3: What happened to the man who couldn't ski?
So now what we do is there's like a public vote for who goes to the Eurovision. Yeah. And Samantha Mumba... auditioned body to body funk to funky we all know how to rock it's been a while it's been a while but she's a you gotta know girl like so Samantha Mumba is so cool in art as we were growing up Yeah. I remember there's only two and a half, three people I've been properly starstruck by.
And that was Bertie Ahern, much to my shame. I can't, I can't explain it. Can't explain it. It was years ago. It was, it was, it was during the whole kind of Celtic downfall thing. You were funny around Michal Martin as well when we met him. You were funny. I was. I was giddy. I was giddy. Yeah, I was giddy. Yeah. I father it. You know yourself. Don't let her near the president of Ireland.
Joe, the second you get into politics and put on a suit, good luck to you. I will be all over you like a rat up a drainpipe. Samantha Mumba. I know power when I smell it. I can smell power. And Samantha Mumba walked through Paris Court Townhouse one day and I was in my, at this point, like I'd spent my youth wanting to be in the Billy Barys and go to stage school and dance and perform and sing.
And Pat McNally had knocked that out of me with her bare hands. So I just looked on with admiration. And Samantha Mumba walked through Paris Courtenay's and the star quality of that woman. She was like oozing it like a snail. There was like star goo coming out the back of her. Oh my God. And I was like, oh my God, Samantha Mumba, Samantha Mumba.
Anyway, now we're kind of like friends because we DM sometimes.
Oh, so sorry. You and Samantha are great friends now as well, yeah? Well, I'm team Mumba. I'm team Sammy Mumps. She basically, honestly... She added her music to a video in Ireland that they had this video of going around about like car crashes and how like you had to wear your seatbelt. And it was always the person in the back who did the damage. Always the person in the back.
Always. No, sorry. It was the one in the back. It was the one without the belt that did the damage.
Yes. Do you mind? I will never be caught dead without a seatbelt. Same. Excuse the pun.
Thank you, Samantha. Thank you. I could not. I could not agree more. No one in Ireland of that generation will forget that put your fucking seatbelt on ad that has probably kept millions of us alive. So Samantha Mumba is basically Mother Teresa.
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