We're headed straight down to nostalgia corner this week, recalling all the things from school you'd forgotten about. Plus, Celebrity Traitors reaction, Brooklyn Beckham & human toes for sale...If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [email protected] review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.comJoanne's comedy gigs: www.joannemcnally.comVogue's Book Tour: www.fane.co.uk/vogue-williamsThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.
Chapter 1: What is the podcast about?
Welcome to My Therapist Ghosted Me, with myself, Joanne McNally, and herself... Vogue Williams. Vogue Williams. Vogue Williams. Great news story. Australia's giving a lot of news at the moment between the mushroom story that we won't get into for legal reasons, but one of the jurors was sacked. From the mushroom trial? From the mushroom trial.
If anyone doesn't know, there's a trial going on in Australia at the moment. A woman is accused of murdering some of her family members. By poisoning them? By poisoning them with mushrooms that she picked. Erin Patterson. Erin Patterson. God, that's desperate. What a desperate thing to do to someone. We don't know if she did or not. Allegedly.
Chapter 2: What is the Australian mushroom trial?
allegedly okay fine but there's another I'm going to make you a beef Wellington when you come over I don't eat mushrooms Do you not eat mushrooms? I do, yeah. God, I love an old mushroom. I do, yeah. Oh yeah, one of the jurors was sent off. He was sacked for talking about the trial with his family and friends. But I was like, I wouldn't last a day on a jury.
I'd be coming here telling the story on the podcast. I couldn't keep it to myself at all.
There is probably a reason we've never been asked to be on a jury. We have got big mates.
Yeah, those blabbermouths. But there's another story coming out of Australia. Let me get this now. Woman who plans to sell human toes regurgitated by dogs, avoids gel, it'll melt.
Chapter 3: What unusual story involves human toes?
woman who plans to sell human dogs sorry human toes sorry woman who plans to sell human toes regurgitated by dogs avoids jail in Melbourne court sentencing Joanna Kathleen Kinman 48 was working at an animal shelter when she found body parts of dog's owner who had died of natural causes so someone died of natural causes Jesus Christ and his dogs chewed his fucking toes off swallowed them then were put into a shelter and regurgitated them
oh now that to me is so this woman was trying to sell them on the internet reckoned she was going to get guess how much she thought she was going to get for the human towels 15 grand nope 20 nope higher nope way less one grand 400 dollars what you wouldn't get two areas of Botox for that why would you buy them 400 dollars the dogs peed the towels up oh my god she took the towels out put them in a jar it's mad I know somehow got stung jeez
The dogs have been surrounded at the shelter after the death of their owner. They keep saying he died of natural causes. The dogs still ate him anyway, which I find shocking. Is that just the deal? If you lie around a dog long enough, they just eat you.
So I will tell you one thing, right? Cats will eat you immediately. They don't even care if there's food left out for them. They'll go for you and they'll start in your nose straight away. Dogs will only eat you if they're absolutely starving. Why would he go for the toes first? That's an unusual place to starve, isn't it? Imagine your dog swallowing your toes whole like an oyster.
And to bite them off full and be able to regurgitate them whole to the point where this woman can sell them as human toes.
How insane is she? I'd be very concerned about her mental health because taking toes home and trying to sell the toes...
like one it's one thing keeping the toes for your own personal like collection I know to look at your little freak shelf yeah this is so weird but then going to sell the toes the selling's a bit much for me later during a phone call with her daughter Kinman discussed how she planned to sell the toes online and said research suggested she could get as much as $400
Police subsequently arrived at her Lilydale home after a tip-off from an unknown source. She made full admissions to possessing the remains and intending to sell them online. She showed the police where the jar with the dogs was located, beside other oddities, including an alligator claw, a bird skull, a guinea pig trotter and her children's teeth.
She should have just kept... She should have just... She collects weird stuff, obviously. She was obviously going, I can make a couple of quid off this. So my pray, I'm praying that Winnie eats your knickers before you die and I'll sell them online.
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Chapter 4: How did school lunches shape our nostalgia?
I mean, who didn't benefit from that nutritious diet?
life lesson handy for special case two bowls of no nutrition cardboard with skinny milk and then you were allowed to have a cheese slice for dinner but if you look at so you know the way you'd have like coca pops or something at the weekend because they'd be like a really big in fairness I have to be honest I was like I'd have coca pops whenever I wanted but like this morning Sandra was a hands off mum we know that
She really was. I said to Sven today, Tim was like, was I a big baby? And Sven was like, yeah, nine pounds. And I was like, wow, I can't believe you remember that. And he was like, what do you mean? He's my son. I was like, I asked my mom what I weighed and she said, are you joking me? She wouldn't know.
She wouldn't know what I weighed or I wanted to do the thing where you got your stars done from when you were born. And I asked her what time I was born and she said,
are you off your cotton picking tree yeah I was like oh sorry mom you might remember something about my gorgeous birth I do think there's two there's different types of parents though there's the ones that have their star charts and their child's like they know all their details your aunt does she was fucking adopted she didn't even bother her whole giving birth I actually forgot about that yeah Pat's like I'll collect her when she's 18 months old
Like a puppy.
Yeah. That'd be great. Isn't it? I mean that's very much what my mothering style would be and very much what Pat's was. That wasn't Pat's. I'd say Pat was a full on mom. Ah yeah. Once we arrived she was very hands on. Sorry back to the back to where this all began. School.
banging the chalk dusters so you'd be sent out this was a blackboard Joe it was before computers I have seen them in sort of olden times pictures olden times pictures yeah it's been bad for us to be banging those things though it was like being covered in what's that stuff that they are always suing for when it gets released asbestos asbestos
I'm sure there's a legal case to take against Loretta Dawkey primary school for sending me out on the regular covered in that chalky shit asbestos you went to Loretta Dawkey primary school as well yeah but that was public or is that private over here very confusing it's all strange over here it was like it wasn't fee paying it wasn't fee paying no the primary wasn't and then we had boys up to first class and then they got rid of them only up to first class yeah and they were sent down to Harold's I like that the kids are in a mixed school
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Chapter 5: What were our childhood crushes like?
no not Pierce Brosnan have you seen his Irish accent in that show I can't how can an Irish man fuck up an Irish accent oh no it's like it's way too long it's not good he's taking too much soup they say you're taking the soup yeah
during the famine and all it was like if you were fed by the English you were kind of letting yourself down I think that's it also they say if you come to the UK you have to lose the Mac in your name like so I should just be Joanne Nally now oh wow because the Mac is the Irish bit don't quote me on any of this if we've been making this podcast for four years have you taken the soup oh we've taken the soup let me tell you what I would take the soup and the mains anyway my crush sorry
Kevin Costner. I've started watching Yellowstone. Oh, yeah. Do you watch Yellowstone? No. You, Kevin Costner in the gilet. He's got the popped collar. I love a gilet. I love a man in a gilet. Well, the cowboy hat. Spencer's like, shut up. The other night I was like, honestly, do you think if... Just one question. And he's like, if you're going to ask me about Kevin Costner again.
And I'm like, I am. Do you think Kevin Costner would fancy me? And he was like, yeah. And it made me so happy.
I think it definitely was. I think... I think I could get him yeah I'd say that man's got game I and he's if he's 77 no sorry that was how old is how old is Kevin Costner he was topless in the show the other night and I was like whoa 70 70 he's only a spring chicken he's 70 and you're kind of 40 now you're you'd be like young on to him yeah yeah tell me about your birthday please oh my birthday
42, 42.
I'm funny about birthdays.
How is it two years since your 40th? I don't understand that because remember we were talking about your 40th all the time. I know. We're doing this four years now. Five years?
Four.
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Chapter 6: What controversies surround Brooklyn Beckham?
Yeah, I just find the whole thing just... Now, in fairness, I don't... I keep doing it that way. I like that they're the narrative at the moment. I don't want to keep the narrative so bad.
Isn't it terrible, though? Because you're like... You see... We don't want it... We don't want any attention on ourselves in that way. But we're happy to read about negative attention towards someone else. I know. We're part of the problem, Jo. We're part of the problem.
I'll be honest. I only read the headlines. And as I said... That's just for time. But that's like the... It's the click-baity stuff that is like... And then you could read something. It's like, hang on. That's got absolutely nothing to do with that.
Katy Perry had a good moment this week.
because I've only seen I've only seen I've only seen the bad dancing she really needs one Katy Perry and I was like yes go Katy can I just say one thing I just it's nice to see her on stage dancing like that because as somebody who also can't dance I like that you don't always have to be the best
No, exactly. And Katy Perry was never a dancer. No, she's a great singer and I like her music. She's a great singer and she's a great performer and she's a great entertainer. Entertainer.
Yes.
So anyway, she was doing this sold out arena show in Chicago, sold out people coming in from the rafters. And she was like, oh, and they tell me I'm the most hated person on the Internet. And everyone clapped and whooped and cheered.
And I thought, yes, Katie, because she was like, when the internet decides to make you a human piñata, you sense love back because the internet is full of unhealed and hurt people. And I was like, it's true. And I don't know how she's coping with it.
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