So, Joanne is back from the States for a christening and Vogue can't believe what she's hearing. Plus, early Christmas decorating and a tricky situation involving a clone-a-willy kit. If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [email protected] review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.
Chapter 1: What are the highlights of Joanne's recent trip from the States?
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Chapter 2: What childhood memories do Mo and Joanne share about school?
Hello and welcome to My Therapist Goes With Me with me, Mo Williams and her partner in crime, Joanne McNally and Jo.
And Jo, who got a haircut. You got your hair cut, Jo. Are you going back to school?
Yeah, I got my new shoes, got my pencil case.
Do you remember the buzz of all, do you remember the buzz of the fresh shoes and the pencil cases? Fresh start.
I was always a pair of kickers. Did you have kickers?
So anything that was going at the time, that was what I forced my mother to buy.
I remember once I had the audacity that I told you that, that I walked in the pair of dupes. Remember? To wear to school. To school. And Amber had worn them quite happily into school. And I thought they looked really cool. And I was like, I'm going to try the dupes. And my friends murdered me so badly over it that I started crying. And I was like, I'm not wearing these ever again.
what's wrong with them I thought they were we not I had them on like they were a school shoe for about two they had a good two years I'll tell you what not in the north side now I'm not trying to divide us here but not in the north side it wasn't allowed and I had to have kickers because I had I'd gone against the grain I said I'm gonna wear the dupes in and everyone was like here listen bitch no you're not and I never wore them again
I mean, is how it's, you know, it's not like at the north side, you know what I mean? Oh, it is. It's on the north side, okay? I'm going to take that.
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Chapter 3: How did Joanne's haircut lead to a discussion about her recent adventures?
Sorry, riddle me this. You've Halloween, I'm in Ireland at the moment, so I've completely forgotten whatever, all the things that happen in the UK. You've Halloween and then you've your fire hawks night or whatever he's called, your man. Guy Fawkes. Guy Fawkes. Is that a separate event, Joe?
It is, yeah. It commemorates when Guy Fawkes tried to blow up the Houses of Parliament on the 5th of November in a year a long time ago.
Well, I saw them the other day and they're in great nick. He didn't really blow them up.
Oh no, he messed it right up.
Did he? And come here to me, why would you celebrate that now? Is that not an act of treason?
Because he didn't succeed, I think, probably.
Oh, okay. So it's a kind of a two fingers up to Guy Fawkes.
I'm sure he's going to be down at the Dall now in Dublin later trying to make a name for herself. Yeah.
Anything for a bit of legacy.
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Chapter 4: What is the significance of Guy Fawkes Night in the UK?
Pine from the corners from the shadows.
I was like me. I was just hanging around at the back with my huge mouth and massive hands and no one paid me any notice. They're like, she's not even wearing Nikes. State of her. That povo over there. You won't be coming to my pool party. Do you hear me? Come here to me. Did you get your hair done? What's going on here?
I did. I got a curly blowjob. Do you know what I did? So I was, I was invited out last Friday because obviously I'm back from the States and And I was, I had Friday off and then Saturday I had to come back to Ireland for a christening for my final and last godchild. My tubes are now tied. Obviously, I missed the mass because that's kind of my calling card. No, you didn't. Do you know what I did?
And do you know what I'll say to you what I said to the mother of that child? I said, I have just landed from the States. I don't know if I'm upside down or inside out. I was up at the crack of dawn to fly to Ireland. My mother collected me at Dublin airport, drove me to Ross Lair and I was half an hour late. Fire me. Sorry now.
The other option was land in from LA, which makes me sound like a wanker, but that's where I was fucking coming from. Okay. And there are no direct flights from LA to Ross Lair, would you believe?
land in and then just get on another plane and go to Dublin with a whole big two suitcases full of dirty clothes I needed to sit down for half an hour I'm sorry now I needed to sit down You cannot miss the christening You didn't even fucking tell me I was needed at the ceremony I assumed you would understand that part of it You assumed incorrectly Frankly the fact that I made it to Ross Lair is a miracle to be honest Can I just tell you one thing and this is going to upset you
Because you weren't in God's house with the baby or the baby from the other day, you're not officially the God parent. That's what I was thinking the other day. God doesn't see you as the God parent. Okay, well then I'm still open for business. Take it up with Jesus. Take it up with Jesus.
I'm sick of his bullshit. He's got a birthday coming up. He's probably busy planning.
Oh my God, sorry. Do you know the way I'm obsessed with Christmas?
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Chapter 5: Why are people putting up Christmas decorations so early?
I wonder, is she doing a brand collab-y thing and that's why? Or is she just mad for trees?
Chapter 6: What are Mo and Joanne's plans for Christmas this year?
No, someone was just like, I just wanted to, I just, I wanted to come home and I wanted to see a nice tree up in my house. Two people, I saw two people. And I'm like shocked.
Yeah, I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is a bit early now. And I'm a Christmas person as well. I'm a Christmas gal. I love the festive season. I did get a bit of a buzz when I saw a couple of selection boxes on sale in a petrol station in Ireland there the other day. I was like, ooh, that feels good.
Jingle, jingle. I don't mind shops doing it in fairness because they have to. But like, I suppose... When a human does it, just a normal person does it, you feel like under some kind of pressure now. I'm like, fuck, I have no tree. Am I putting up my tree now or what happens? Like, I feel under pressure.
Well, do you know what I was thinking? I was saying, I mentioned before in the pod, for the first year, me and my mother are leaving Ireland.
Oh, you are. You didn't tell us you were going somewhere. You said you were thinking about it.
We're going to go. So we looked at, I was thinking the sun. We're like, nah. Then we're thinking, I was thinking, because I was obviously in New York and as I did, I was wanting to move there, et cetera. And I was like, maybe New York. She's going to come to London. So I'm going to get a tree for my flat. For the first time, I've never had my own tree.
So I'll be down to take all your leftover decorations. And maybe even a tree. Yeah.
because you probably have loads and I don't have any so I have loads of trees it's unusual I actually don't know what I'm doing for Christmas there's a chance I might be in London I haven't decided yet well well well imagine we could have an eggnog reception in mine but I can't fit anyone so we do it in yours but call it mine yes yes and we'll get a takeaway because there's loads of places open on Christmas Day in England whereas there's nowhere open in Ireland on Christmas Day I think it would be nice to have a London Christmas I've never had a London Christmas before
It'd be handy because at least Santa wouldn't have to drop the presents somewhere else for me, so I wouldn't have to drag them all back, you know?
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