How's it going for Joanne in Cape Town? How's the dating scene? Find out! If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [email protected] review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.
Chapter 1: What is the latest from Joanne in Cape Town?
Hello, everybody. And Joanne as well. Go on. What's the news?
Well, Vogue, the news, I don't even know how to defend it. I was going to try and come up with something really like kind of moral or ethical. I'm staying in Cape Town. I'll extend my stay.
Chapter 2: Why did Joanne extend her stay in Cape Town?
Oh, Joe, how unexpected that Joanna's extended her stay. I would never have, I'd never have thought that.
I've extended my stay. I cannot even listen to myself say, sure, I've got no kids anymore. I am sick of myself justifying my treat yourselves with the fact I've got no kids. I didn't even want to hear myself. Don't let me say, sure, I've got no kids anymore. Don't let me say it. God, Jo, she's on holidays again. She's on holidays again.
I feel like even if I had a family of five, I'd forget and I'd be like, I cannot stop saying it.
I'll just cancel the studio bookings. We just won't do it in the studio anymore. It's fine. We can just do it online. Guys, it's too cold to go into studio anyway.
I'm thrilled she's staying over there. It's 2025. We work remotely now, Jo, okay? Evidently. I work from Cape Town. Cape Town. Cape Town. I've no accommodation. That doesn't matter. It's just me and 63 gay men. I'm staying.
I mean, that is literally the dream life. Do you know what? Can I say one thing as well? Like if you've already flown nine hours out there, you may as well make the most of it.
There's no point in going back and then having to go back. There's no point going back and then having to come back next year. Do you know what I mean? What's the point? Exactly. And luckily, I work for, I was going to say myself, but Vogue. And Vogue is allowing me to stay.
Joanne's going to start speaking Afrikaans to us soon she's just going to literally turn into a local I will be so turned on by you if you come home in a South African accent the floodgates will open I have to say it doesn't take much for your floodgates to open now from what I heard but I have to say
I told you, I'm on Hinge. I reset my, like, I've been operating out of Cape Town for, like, I've been here for a week, but I've been operating out of Hinge, Cape Town for three weeks now. How's it going? Do you know what, folk? Thanks for asking.
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Chapter 3: How's Joanne's dating scene in Cape Town?
I don't want to put you down or anything, but I just, I don't think you've, you were meant to be worldly for us and you haven't really, I mean, I'm sorry. You haven't done a great job. I'm sorry. I am, I am, Vogue, I am trying. It's like you've turned into a mermaid. Your legs are so close that they've stitched together.
I am doing, I am three hours a day on that thing. I am doing a shift every morning on Hinge to try and get something out of this place. Have you been boosting yourself? Have you gone cheap and you're not boosting yourself? I thought maybe because I was, I thought maybe. because I was far and I wouldn't have to boost. I thought maybe there'd be an extra bit of pizzazz to me, but now you're right.
I'm going to have to, I'm going to have to, I'm going to have to be, I'm boosting at 8pm tonight. I'll be boosting through the night, which means I won't sleep with the excitement. 8am, me and 69 guys will be going through my set, my profile. So, if I do a dating rap, do you know what actually I've realized? And I spoke to my friend about this and she was like, stop agreeing to do that.
If I had to guess or estimate the amount of men who on Hinge ask me for my Instagram, they're like, oh, let's connect. Vogue knows where this is going.
Under no circumstances There you go. I was trying to be I think it would be worse to find out somebody was in prison or something and then you've got like just tell them that you're a serial killer it will go down better than your Instagram.
I'm doing a live stream from Wandsworth Women's Prison. They're like, okay, whatever. But they find my actual Instagram. They're like, oh no. She's real fucked up.
I was trying to set Joanne up with this guy before that I know and he was like, oh, is she on Instagram? I was like, hmm. No. Not for you. Pinocchio knows.
the internet in fairness mine would be a bit uh off-putting too a bit thirsty and stuff like that so i'm not sure like i don't think anyone's instagram is that great to be honest yeah look it's a bit much it's a bit much what i would say it's like it's a lot of access to someone's character before you've really seduced them with the fake thing that you're supposed to do okay so how can you hide who you are if they've got your instagram like
And let's be real. My Instagram, the clips and stuff, like, that's the worst, probably, like, version. Like, oh, can I look at your stand-up? No. Oh, definitely not that. Yeah, so I was speaking to a friend of mine. She was like, okay, she went through my, she was like, don't tell them, don't give them your Instagram. So basically what I was saying was, there's three men.
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Chapter 4: What are the challenges of dating on apps like Hinge?
Peter's a bit hot.
Peter's a bit hot. Jürgen's a bit hot. They're all a bit hot. Yeah, here's my Insta. Never to be heard again. Tumbleweed blown through my phone. So anyway, new plot. No one gets the details anymore. And I've changed my job to marketing. I have a great idea. And I'll report back.
Set up a new Instagram, right? Set up a new Instagram where you are a marketing girl. Yeah. And just do selfies and put up some pictures of avocados and eggs and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chuck in the odd green juice for January 2025.
Yeah, I actually, do you know what, Vogue? All joking aside, fucking it's going that way.
Chapter 5: Why should Joanne avoid sharing her Instagram?
you don't actually have to even lie you know those rotten ginger shots you always have pop one of them up you love them i love it i love it it's not even you know when you're like they're intimidated they're not they're just they're just like oh you're grand people used to people used to say that about me when i was like 16 and i'd be like this fucking alien walking along and they'd be like they're just intimidated because you're tall no and i was like i knew when i look back now i'm like that's why they didn't go near me i was a bitch i
Vogue, I don't know if you were... Look, I'm not going to... I'm not going to say... Okay, I'm going to just get the... I'll get the evidence, okay?
I know you're trying to be nice because you're my friend and you'd never see a bad result about me, but... Vogue, you know I'm not nice to you because I'm your friend. I really struggle with being nice to you. I don't want to do it. If she sends me a nice message, I'm like, are you okay? Yeah, that's... You'll know I've been abducted. There will be signs. Hey, Vogue, how are you?
Is there anything I can do for you today?
she's been taken again get her ring pass she's not okay um anyway my point is i kind of thought i'd have a bit more traction and traffic over here i haven't had much uh i'll have to rejig the system i don't know what to do thirst traps joanne more thirst traps i know you know what joe i know i'm gonna have to i know yeah i just i just it doesn't come naturally to me but you're right i'm
Why don't you go into your kitchen? I'll go from posting an ice cream to like full fucking naked, like full frontal nudity. With like a lollipop slipping down the inside of my legs. That's what I'll do. I'll have to.
She's just going to have ice. She'll have ice just rolling down her body. Stop wearing bras as well. Stop it.
You're like, Joanne, the gimp mask is a bit much. Come on now. Like, surely there's something less you can do. Put your fucking knickers on. Get out of the pool. I don't know what to do. It's doing nothing for my self-esteem, I can tell you that much.
Well, I will tell you one thing. It's them, not you. Right? That's how I feel about that. You've never looked better. You've never looked better. You look like Greg Crack in your Instagram pictures.
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Chapter 6: How can Joanne improve her dating profile?
Yes. I know. I know. I know.
Do you ever see someone eating a protein bar and they could be an absolute pig and she's like, here's one.
Oh, yeah. It's like they're buying an egg white off him.
Yeah.
The noise of a blender turns her on.
Where's that newtchy bullet sound coming from? Someone's blending their greens. I know. I don't know what the solution is, really. It's getting weird now. It's getting weird, Jo.
Are there any on Hinge that like poetry? Find one that likes poetry.
Let's not go with that. Come on. I don't hate myself.
She doesn't like long walks.
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Chapter 7: What role does personality play in dating?
Chapter 8: How does Joanne plan to boost her dating engagement?
I can't be dealing with Christians, long walks or roasts on a Sunday. Do you know what, folks? Do you know what I think would be a nice idea? If one of our bonus acts, do you know the advice that we give badly? Wouldn't it be nice if Jo did it one week? Yeah. You have a male perspective that we don't use.
Wouldn't it be nice for a change of scene if one of the bonus apps when we do the emails that you gave the advice.
You know that this is a bonus app we're doing right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I see. Look how happy she is that she's just found out it's a bonus. She's like, yes.
We're nearly done. I knew that. Yeah. I thought it was on parenting hell. I was like...
Girls, I'm Joe. Joe, we're putting you in this. I'm 29 and I've met a guy. Go me. I was in a long-term relationship of six years before this and it's been a long, exhausting road to find someone on the apps who wasn't a complete asswipe. I don't say asswipe enough. I'm going to bring that back in. Let's get that back. Asswipe. We like. He's great to talk to and we've definitely got chemistry.
Enough that he's stayed over a couple of times. Just one thing. When we get personal, it's all way too vigorous. Ooh.
Ooh.
In my relationship... In my relationship before, we discussed sex quite openly, but I'm not sure how to do that with a guy I've not known as long. How do you say, in the kindest, least awkward way, can you stop riding me like you're trying to break open a... Oh, no.
Oh, no. Oh, dear. Oh, dear.
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