This week, a disturbing tale from Vogue's childhood where she tickled an unnamed victim until they could literally take no more. Plus, Joanne half-heartedly commits to exercising for 20 minutes a day, every day. If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [email protected] review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.
Chapter 1: What disturbing childhood story does Vogue share?
This is a Global Player original podcast. Hello and welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Ghosted Me with me, Vogue Williams and... Jo Attiwell. Oh.
Jo Attiwell. I'm only messing, Jo. I'm only messing.
I have a complaint.
Oh, Jesus. Let's go.
Sorry, that's Joanne McNally, everyone, because she didn't say her name. Joanne McNally.
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Chapter 2: What complaint does Vogue have about her tights?
Oh, yeah. Sorry, in case at this stage they still haven't... Can I show you something?
Yeah. I treated myself right. I'm not flashing you. I treated myself to tights. I would usually get my tights in Marks and Spencer. These tights, £15.99 for a pair of tights. I haven't even left the house and they ripped. Can I bring them back to the shop and be like, dudes, these ripped when I put them on. Like, I want another pair.
Yeah.
I honestly think, and I'm not like teasing, I think you would be really good hosting a kind of a light hearted, slightly irreverent consumer program, like consumer watchdog program. What do you think, Joe?
Bogey's bargains.
It's all bargain based. The bargain bin with Vogue. Yeah. Vogue Karen Williams coming to you. Channel 4, Channel 5, UTV, whatever's going.
Yeah, bitching bin with Vogue. Bitching bin. Basic bargain bitching bin. Let's pitch it now.
Let's hang on. Let's fuck the podcast. Let's go now and pitch it. I really think that would suit you. I think you'd really enjoy it. No, I hate having to complain. I really don't like having to complain. You don't have to complain. It's like, and I don't like complaining either. I get very...
it doesn't suit me really because obviously I don't like confrontation but it's more so looking for bargains and then you're not complaining to like some woman in a shop you're like going to some big brand saying your tights are shit what are you going to do about it well I am I'll tell you okay watch this space for the pod not just because I'm pissed off I'm going to bring these tights back and I am going to get I'm going to say you have to swap these tights or else I will actually do go berserk
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Chapter 3: What is the 20-minute workout challenge for December?
Yeah, maybe she's like an elephant has a very long period of pregnancy.
Well, there's a lot of elephant to grow now. Babies are kind of a smaller affair. Plus, I think when the elephant comes out, it's kind of ready to work kind of thing, whereas babies are... They come out ready. They come out pathetically useless and very dependent.
Yeah. Their pack of whingers. I wasn't like that when I was born. I actually was born and my mom said that I started walking straight away. She said, you just got out, you started talking, walking. Lunging, squatting. You're organising. Where did she get that? Where did the baby get the kettlebell? Jesus. I thought I felt something cold coming out.
It's not cellulite. You're just a baby, Vogue. You're supposed to look like that.
I'll tell you what I'm doing. Oh, my God, guys, for both of you, actually, I have a challenge. Because everyone falls off the wagon in December. It happens. I'm preparing myself for the wagon fall off.
Sorry, can I interrupt you there and say I don't even engage with the wagon the 11 other months of the year, so I have nothing to fall off, which in its own way is quite powerful. The wagon drives past here a couple of times a day and I'm like, not for me, thanks.
I will not be boarding.
LAUGHTER
Just thought we'd check, Joanne. You still know? No, no, no.
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Chapter 4: How do Vogue and Jo feel about working out and commitment?
I'm still all good. Thank you. When people fall off the wagon, I'm like, oh my God, it's so good to see you. Welcome back. Because I'm just never on it.
I'll tell you what, I'm feeling a bit wobbly myself lately. Don't say that.
I'll be in an Uber. I'll be flying at the end of your bed in seven minutes.
Anyway, this is what I want you to do. We're doing a challenge and that's why I'm working out a little bit more because we're recording it now. It's 2020-20. So for the first 20 days of December, you're going to work out for 20 minutes a day. That's all you have to do. A 20 minute workout for 20 days in December. Every day. Jo, it's 20 minutes.
Folk, what sort of shit advent calendar are you trying to sell us here?
It's the Christmas season. I'm letting you off. It's only until December 20th. Right after December 20th. Do whatever you want with yourselves. I can't commit.
I can't. I can't commit to that.
That's actually embarrassing. That's embarrassing. I can't commit to that. I'm sorry. Do you mean for me and Joe to do it? For everybody. I'm not recording it for myself. I'm recording it for everybody. It's 20 minutes. You're saying he can't do 20 minutes. He can do 20 minutes when you're drunk.
sure of course I could do I do I worry about Joe's upper body strength I've said that to you privately he can use just he can use don't listen Joe he can use two kilos of kettlebells he'll be fine just give him two packets of extra chewing gum just to lift above his body weight so he thinks he's pressing we'll get him peas a tin of peas and pretend he's doing something
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Chapter 5: What humorous stories do Vogue and Jo share about their lives?
Chapter 6: Who had a baby recently and how did Vogue find out?
Anyway, this is what I want you to do. We're doing a challenge and that's why I'm working out a little bit more because we're recording it now. It's 2020-20. So for the first 20 days of December, you're going to work out for 20 minutes a day. That's all you have to do. A 20 minute workout for 20 days in December. Every day. Jo, it's 20 minutes.
Folk, what sort of shit advent calendar are you trying to sell us here?
It's the Christmas season. I'm letting you off. It's only until December 20th. Right after December 20th. Do whatever you want with yourselves. I can't commit.
I can't. I can't commit to that.
That's actually embarrassing. That's embarrassing. I can't commit to that. I'm sorry. Do you mean for me and Joe to do it? For everybody. I'm not recording it for myself. I'm recording it for everybody. It's 20 minutes. You're saying he can't do 20 minutes. He can do 20 minutes when you're drunk.
sure of course I could do I do I worry about Joe's upper body strength I've said that to you privately he can use just he can use don't listen Joe he can use two kilos of kettlebells he'll be fine just give him two packets of extra chewing gum just to lift above his body weight so he thinks he's pressing we'll get him peas a tin of peas and pretend he's doing something
And me and Vogue will be on the 20 kgs. We're like, here, Jo, here's your two tuna cans. Press them.
Do the tuna. Pathetic. No, I'm happy to do that. I'm happy to do that. What a smell of bollocks of you. I'm happy to do that.
Oh, well, I see you've fallen off the swearing wagon. Yeah.
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