Joanne and Vogue profess their love for David Attenborough this week - but we all love him, don't we? Plus, dog shampoo, dog CBD oil and an ornamental pear. Tickets for Joanne's tour Pinotphile are now LIVE: www.joannemcnally.comIf you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [email protected] review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.
Chapter 1: What are Joanne and Vogue's thoughts on David Attenborough?
Chapter 2: How do Joanne and Bo feel about giving up alcohol?
There's a bit of losing on St. Patrick's Day. You can get involved in that without drinking.
I'll lose. I do agree with you, though. I think that the summer goes on till October. Really? That's when we get our best weather.
Yeah. And sure, then it's Halloween. And sure, what's that? Only a giant session for the ghosts.
remembering of the dead there's no time there's no time to dry out there's no time I wish I'm taking it back I take it back I'm going to really try and not be that person I'm going to go onto Instagram now and cry in a minute and then I'm going I nearly cried the other day on Instagram get that ring light baby get that ring light on those tears I'm going to cry and then I'm going to say that I'm having a vacation from Instagram do you know what and I said nothing about it I said nothing about it but I deleted Instagram for 24 hours
when I say I am a different person it was like I'd done ayahuasca the piece I lay in bed all day no Instagram and I read I'm reading The Gathering by Anne Enright I just read I didn't engage with the internet at all and when I say it was like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders I am hooked on Instagram and I don't think it's for the better did you have the TikTok on the go
No, TikTok doesn't engage me in the same way, but it does. Do you know the way if you need a hit of something, it does. It's like a nicotine patch. It'll kind of give you a bit of a hit, but there isn't like the same interaction on TikTok for me. So it's not, it'll give you some. It'll give you the kind of fake scroll. Do you know what I mean?
I'm not mad for TikTok because I haven't got my algorithm. You know when you have to swipe videos to get the videos that you start liking and then it shows you the video. So I haven't got to that. So I don't know how to do that and I just stay away.
TikTok is just people. They're rotting each other out, but they're not saying who they're rotting out. They're like, well, well, well.
wait until I tell you about this famous influencer with blonde hair that I met today and she was an absolute geebag and then everyone's like whoo and they're jumping in the comments and trying to decide who it is it's so toxic Instagram is lovely Instagram is just like kind of a digital cloud of fun for me but TikTok is I agree it's just apologies and people ratting each other out it's
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Chapter 3: What are the challenges of social media detox?
gone are they eating the puppies where are they going I don't know but they got away with it I think the puppies are going to the farm but the actual farm people don't like when people hand back dogs it gets it honestly it ignites more hatred than passing back children as far as I can see Remember Lily Allen got blasted, blasted for handing back a dog.
She's like, look, we just couldn't handle the dog. Isn't that what happened?
She took an adopted puppy and it ate her family's passports so she had to return it. Oh yeah, I remember she gave that back.
yes people went through her like I understand I get it we don't like to see animals disrespected in that way but also you know we have to fucking rein it in I guess because they're so vulnerable and stuff that puppy that you tried to get me to adopt I did go in I was having a little look at her and she's gone I warned you I knew she was hot properly as soon as I saw her face pop up I thought Lulu's not going to have a problem and with a bio like that sold a looker like that when you're that hot the world is your oyster
I mean, I have to say. It's the halo effect. That's, it's the halo effect. And do you know, she's six. Jesus, she looks great.
A toilet trained, can go in and out of a cat flap. No wonder she was snapped up. I even said to Spencer, I was like, I know I was saying to Sven, I was like, ah, would we, would we take Lulu? And he goes, no, we could have Lulu if Winston bit the bullet. And I do, for a split second, I was like, God, I went in and looked at Winston and then he, he was kind of just lying there.
But all of a sudden he just like jumped up and started wagging his tail. And I was like, damn it. And that's when I knew Lulu was out of my reach.
DNR. Do not resuscitate, Winston. DNR, baby. We've got fresh meat ready to come in. We've got a young hot dog. She's hot. She's fertile. She's got a great, she's got a great bob or something going on, Lulu.
She's absolutely beautiful. Her ears look like a bob. But I'm sorry, have you seen Winston? When I trim Winston's ears, he looks 10 years longer. It's like he's had Botox. I trim the end hairs off his ears and he looks fine. Even the bob's looking good now. I think that's a stretch now. I think that's a stretch. Winston is then, he's the nicest dog you could come across.
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Chapter 4: How does Joanne view TikTok compared to Instagram?
Well, it is. It's like every time I see a photo of David Attenborough in the news, I'm like, oh no! And then it's like, oh, it's just David giving out to us again about the environment. Thank God. Thank God. David's like, every time he pops up on my feed, I'm like, David, no! That's what people do with Winnie. Dad's dead.
And then it's just David going, I'm going to be dead soon and you better look after the environment. That's what he's doing. He's warning us feral children to look after the environment, to look after the animals.
He's preserved. He's going to go. I'd say he'll be like one of those 120-year-olds. We'll be gone before him. Are you mad?
David Attenborough is the only man alive. Who I would say has never had an affair.
Oh, definitely hasn't. And loved his wife so much. And when she died, he has never had a partner since.
If David Attenborough passes, if he decides to go, because it will be his choice, because that's how powerful he is. 100% his choice. And something comes out about him, some sort of sexual scandal. No. I will hang my hat, whatever that means. I will hang it. You're going to put your hat on. Whatever that saying means. The hat will be hung.
No, that couldn't be. That would be desperate. Couldn't possibly be. He and the penguins will be in mourning for years. You're just waiting for it with some people, not with him. He is someone we trust and love.
Please, God. Don't let us down. Hide the evidence. If there is something that you know is going to come out, just hide the evidence. Take it to the Arctic. Take it to the North Pole next time you're going. Just set it free. All the paperwork. Let it go. We just can't cope with it. Couldn't cope with it. He's like just the whole. He's just wholesome. He's like strawberry jam, tea and toast.
He's wholesome. He's reassuring. He is. I've never had a child, but I'm told that after you give birth, they give you tea and toast in the hospitals and that it's the girls tell me it is the most delicious meal you'll be ever given. And that is David Attenborough to me for now. Unless something comes out about him. And until he destroys the evidence in the North Pole. He's an ugg boot.
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Chapter 5: What happened to the puppies in Joanne's story?
Yes, it does. I'll be right up on the fence. I'm going to get into the photographer's pit. I have contacts.
Do you really? You'll have no interest being in there. Joanne, I think I know you better than you know yourself.
Folk, you underestimate me. I am mad. No, you love comfort.
You love comfort so much.
Okay, fine. I used to love going out and I've kind of dropped the ball on it and I'm trying to re-engage with the world. And so this is a journey for me.
Well, do you know what? I'm actually, I can't wait because I can't wait to hear you get on because I believe that you and I need to stop being losers and we can't do it alone. We have to, this is a team effort. And I was out last week, remember, at the flower show. So that was my doing and now it's your turn.
We're tag teaming. Yeah, we're tagging. You do flower show, I go see kneecap, then we tag back. Next week, you go see Prodigy and I'll do a crocheting course. Yeah, we'll keep the balance.
Yeah. We don't want to get too used to the one thing. No, keep us on our toes. Pettiness over a pear. Hi, Joanne and Vogue. Now, just a quick question. I don't know if this is about a pear or not, but would you eat a pear? I'd never think of even looking at a pear.
One of my friend's boyfriends cheated on him. And as revenge, my friend scrawled onto his boyfriend's headboard, cheater, in like with the scissors or something. Oh, I thought you were going to say with a pair. No, but he sent, he sent me a photo of the crime scene to say like, look what I've done. And the bed was perfectly made and shooter was like etched into the headboard.
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Chapter 6: What is the halo effect in pet adoption?
And there was what I thought was a decorative pair on the pillow. And I was like, wow, I can't believe in his moment of rage, he made the bed and put a decorative pair. But it turns out the decorative pair was actually a douche.
Oh my God.
So it was a shady, yeah, it was shade, but I thought it was a decorative pair. Sorry, that's when you say petty pair, that's what comes to mind. Wow.
Oh my God.
Maybe that's where we're going.
Reducing, which is probably what straight should also be doing. We're more spontaneous, which isn't, doesn't bring great results. Doesn't bring great results.
All right.
I'm not having this conversation again. That's all I'm saying.
We can only go down this road once a year. I'm not going down it anymore.
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Chapter 7: Why do Joanne and Bo trust David Attenborough?
Yeah, this is the pair that broke the woman's back, I would say. Yeah, yeah.
I think that my kids have one of those pairs and I wouldn't mind, I can post it to you if that would help. You should actually, that's a really nice thing to suggest. I'll find the pair. God damn it. I imagine I could only find half. It wouldn't matter if I only find half because then you'd have two halves of a whole pair. Send Rajesh for the crack. I will also.
Why don't you send her the spank puddle that you were meant to give to me? God knows where that is. She has the spank puddle. She has it right beside. Remember that North Face jacket I got for Christmas I was so excited for.
It's still here, folks.
Yeah, yeah.
It is.
Your photo, your painting is in the framers.
I was going to say, her spank bottle. She's probably lent it to someone. There's probably pubes on it. That's so weird.
It's here. Cleaner ticket.
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