Men's brains and women's brains are different. In this episode, MTGM investigates exactly that. Plus, the menopause, Vogue's new boob trick and whether or not a happy ending is a problem.Tickets for Joanne's tour Pinotphile are now LIVE: www.joannemcnally.comVogue's Book Tour: www.fane.co.uk/vogue-williamsIf you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [email protected] review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.
Chapter 1: What is the main topic of this episode?
This is a Global Player original podcast.
Hello and welcome to My Therapist Ghosted Me, the bonus episode with myself, Bo Williams, and herself, she's not on mic, Joanne McNally. I'm absolutely disgusted with you actually, Joanne. We haven't mentioned this yet.
Vogue and I both had our biological molecular ages tested for Catherine Ryan's new podcast about aging. Yeah. And I've had my results. Yeah. They will appall and shock. My outsides are 42 officially. I'm now the proud owner of a woman's 42 year old body.
Yeah. Looking good. Looking fantastic. Spanking with a little help from our team. Wouldn't change her ever-growing team.
Her ever-growing team.
Wouldn't change a thing. Wouldn't change a thing this year.
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Chapter 2: How are biological ages determined?
Just drinking water, girls, and a bit of SPF. That's all there is to it, you know.
Get your eight-hour sleep, you're done.
Just get a good night's sleep, girls. And 60 billion grams of Botoxinide. Anyway, I'll wait until I'll tell my age when Vogue gets her results.
yeah fine whatever Joe oh actually Joe you should do it too for fun well no no because already on the outside I now look older than both of you so Christ knows what's going on in the inside well what I will say is that like Joe has a newborn at the moment so his isn't gonna be great because sleeping is like sleeping will change every once you get enough sleep you're really giving your body time to recover and all that kind of stuff so if you sleep a lot you're doing well in life
I think we should get Joe tested. Well, you can get an at-home test for £70 and it tells you most of the infections. Really? Yes. Well, the sexual, I'm talking about the STI test here.
Oh, yeah, yeah, sorry. Sorry. Imagine they came back and they're like, well, your molecular age is 35, but you've got syphilis, Joe. What would you do?
You'd be like, I didn't even test for that. It would be embarrassing, wouldn't it? Joe, don't STI shame. No, sorry. I'm not saying it's embarrassing to have syphilis. I'm saying it would be embarrassing given my monogamous state.
Oh, yeah. But I'd say Josie's riding rings around you on the slide.
A hundred percent.
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Chapter 3: What should women know about menopause?
I'm going Scandi. I'm going to go Scandi, yeah.
Good choice. Good choice. Yeah. Yeah. Characteristic, six foot four, green eyes.
Yeah. Yeah. And a bit of a thinker.
Bit of a thinker.
Yeah.
It's nice that you would consider that.
I'd be more into the looks myself. I'd like a thinker. Good style. You know, I want that baby born in like Air Max. I don't want to have to dress it myself. I want it to pop out fully clothed.
Good style. Joanne's baby will arrive in a little baby girl and she'll be like, oh God, what is that?
Yeah.
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Chapter 4: How can women prepare for menopause?
Oh, yeah, much quieter in the head. There's an awful lot of silence.
Really? Just complete silence in there? Yeah, yeah. That's amazing. Just wandering around.
Just white noise.
Yeah, wandering around with no concerns or anything.
Yeah, if you could sort of visualize my brain. My brain's sort of kicking a football gently against the wall most of the time. Just...
Josie's kind of the brains behind the operation, as the wife usually is. Let's be real.
I described my brain in my book as Berghain. You know that place that you go raving in Berlin? I do indeed. I do indeed. That's what it feels like in here sometimes. So I'm glad that you're having such a holistic retreat, Jo, in your mind.
Yeah.
Joanne, you're a bit burgundy yourself. Oh, chronic overthinker. Joe, chronic underthinker. Thank God I'm here.
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Chapter 5: What are the myths around menopause?
Say a prayer.
I've done a lot of 11-11s on it as well. So I'm never going to know. Is it the 11-11s or is it the sunflower seeds? I just don't know. I just know I'll have massive boobs. Yeah. Maybe you're Mercury's in retrograde. You just don't know. That's what I think if anything goes wrong. I Google.
I'm like, is Mercury in retrograde again? Yeah. Mercury's in retrograde again. For God's sake.
Now, would you like an email? Sure. Hi, Joanna Vogue. I never thought I'd be emailing you. Never mind with the question I'm about to ask. Please keep me anonymous for obvious reasons. I'm 43 female, was recently on my husband, 45 male, phone looking up details of his nephew's communion when I stumbled upon a message to a masseuse in inverted brackets. Oh, God.
it was a very generic message but he hadn't mentioned going for a massage to me so I thought it was weird so I looked up the massage parlour and it's a Thai massage parlour and has a very dodgy looking Facebook page with no female comments or likes etc mhm Do you or your listeners have any experience with Thai parlours? I mean, we'll finish the email, then we'll go into that.
I just find it weird he never mentioned going for a massage, so why keep it a secret? He does have a bad back, but it all seems weird to me. Things have not been great between us. We're together for 25 years and married for 17, but I never thought this would be the sort of thing that would happen. Please help. I don't know what to do. Should I confront? I feel like you might have really...
jumped to a very big conclusion just because it says massage, Thai massage, like I think a Thai massage parlour and I think of people walking on my back and stuff and like reefing my arm back beside my head. I don't think of happy ending massage parlours.
That is because you are a woman. This woman who has emailed in has jumped to the correct conclusion. Come on, Jo. Maybe. You just don't know. This isn't, I know that I have a tendency to assume. But I'm assuming correctly here, he's definitely getting an old hand shanty, as they say. And you know what? Fucking let him off. Like, as in, you're married 25 years. He's not having an affair.
100%.
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Chapter 6: How do men's and women's aging processes differ?
Not like a handjob. I was like, oh my God. A 10 minute handjob. Oh my God, I'm in a child's bedroom. Screaming about wanks. Sorry, I'm filming somewhere and I'm actually going red because in case the owners of the house hear me.
This is the kind of high end stuff we cover.
I told them, I said, they said, where are you going? I said, I'm going upstairs to do a podcast with my classy friend, Joanne.
Thank you.
And they went, oh indeed, Dutch-ass Joanne.
We've heard of her. She's big into etiquette. You do know her, you know her.
Yeah. Hi. Joanne is actually part of the Irish royal family. That's where her blood dates back. I know somebody who, her fella was, she found out that her fella was going to these massage parlours. And obviously they had a big falling out over it and stuff like that. And she felt really upset by it. But they were able to get over it.
So I think even if it is something that he is doing, like it's absolutely terrible. But he would be, like in a man's brain, I think he would be viewing that as a service, like as a part of the service. And he wouldn't be viewing it as a sexual act whatsoever.
So for him, although there is an end to the happy ending, I think it would be him just thinking, am I right, Joe, that it's just part of the service in a man's brain?
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