Sometimes we see something on social media and assume Joanne has gone mad. That happened this week, but she has an explanation. Vogue somehow digs out a memory from three years old, we remember a terrifying kids film from 1985 and a powerful update about Peanut the squirrel (RIP). If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [email protected] review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.comJoanne's comedy gigs: www.joannemcnally.comVogue's Book Tour: www.fane.co.uk/vogue-williamsThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.
Chapter 1: Why is Joanne wearing expensive running shoes on a walk?
This is going to come up. This isn't? It's down to me. Okay. So everyone is just wondering, what's the crack with you wearing those really expensive running runners on a walk? Is that what you were going to say? Yes.
Did you get a lot of messages as well? I was out for a walk with Vogue yesterday wearing, what are they called? They have plates in them, carbon plates. They're running runners. What are they called? Flyers or something.
So Joanne, you were wearing your Nike Ultra Flys meant for running at speed. Yes. And I did think, she's walking very fast today. Yes.
Well, yes, Vogue. And I invested in a pair of those fly things with the carbon plates in them.
Can I ask you a real question, though? Did you know what they were for or did you buy them because they were neon?
Of course I did. People, I swear to God, sometimes the messages I get off people, you'd swear if it wasn't for the internet, I'd just be sitting in my flat eating raw chicken with a tit out. I do have... Some form of brain. So I think there's a general consensus in the DMs from some of the women that I just bought them because they're fluorescent.
People were like, Joanne, you shouldn't be wearing them on a walk. They're running runners. Joanne, you should only be wearing them. They'll be bad for your feet. I ran to Vogue's. Let the record show. I ran at speed in my flyaways, whatever they're called. She was quick. To Vogue's. And that's why, as I've explained, I do a bit of running now.
And because I like to throw money at problems, I decided to speed up my running by wearing little Fiat Puntos on my feet, which is what those bouncy yellow things are. I swear to God, if I was walking around Battersea Park with a tennis racket, I'd be getting messages going, Joanne, you know that's not for serving drinks. That's for... That's for Tannis.
It's just because it's an unusual environment to see you in. That's all. I have a secret life. Yeah, you do keep that very private. But now what I will say is the reason I think people went so crazy about that is because when I was away with Sven at Easter, I forgot my running runners. I forgot just any runners in general. And I had to...
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Chapter 2: What is the controversy over skorts in camogie?
Yeah.
Yeah. It's making us sad. So anyway, now they're like, okay, okay, we're going to bring in more fresh skorts and we're going to trial them over the summer. Basically, put your fucking skorts on.
Why don't they put the skorts on the men and see what the men think of the skorts? And if the men like the skorts too, then everyone can wear skorts. But I don't think if the men don't like the skorts and they get to wear the shorts, we should get to wear the shorts too.
Also, what I've learned reading this story is the more you say skort, the more ridiculous the word becomes.
It's a ridiculous garment. It's kind of like parallels. What are they called? Those trousers. Parallel. No, culottes. The culottes.
Ah, culottes.
Squirts need to get in the bin along with the klots.
Yeah, agreed.
We're making a fashion statement.
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Chapter 3: How did Vogue's babysitting experience shape her views?
That's actually a really good idea. Yeah, we can all grow well together and help each other. And I do say that because if I don't have this stardom threatening, I am going to need help.
Yeah, well, I'm around. I'm around. I wanted to talk to you about influencers. I love an influencer, a good influencer. But they've been causing a little bit of havoc. Did you read that story about the 30 influencers? And I love this as well because this is a bit of me getting the money's worth. 30 influencers had to be rescued from a sinking $4.5 million yacht. No.
Do you know why they had to be rescued? Because the yacht was meant for five people. And they whacked 30 of them on it.
They were like, come on, we'll all split the cost. Are you serious? So was it, did they take the yacht out themselves or did the yacht company try and get all the influencers on for half price?
No, they took it out themselves, right? It was a Lamborghini yacht as well. I didn't even know they did yachts.
I thought they were just into cars. Oh. Oh my God, there's a banging nanny off this now. Go on.
And it was on Miami Beach. And basically they had to put on all these five life vests trying to wait to be rescued because they just, yeah, they'd all gone off on the boat.
Oh my God. It's all very, it's like, do you know what's so funny? Because they're influencers and post people have such an issue with them. Like that's, that could have been the next Titanic. Yeah. Everyone's rolling their eyes because it's influencers. If they were like elderly people, it'd be like headline news. Everyone would be feeling sorry for them because it's influencers.
They get a terrible time. They really annoy people.
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Chapter 4: What is the story behind George Clooney's marriage rumors?
I love it.
I love both types of people. I find them both entertaining.
I do really love like when people like when they post stuff from their hospital bed and they don't say anything and you're just like they're posting like an IV drip or something and it's like they're just not going to tell you and then they actually they are having a wee procedure but they actually just want it to seem like it's a big procedure.
The hospital bed selfies? I don't know, just so I mean. Or the photos of the hospital, the bracelets that they put on with sites telling you what they're in for. It's the bracelets. That to me now, there's a bang and munchy housing syndrome of that.
I have, do you know what? I have shocking news. I was shocked to the core when I found this out. I was saying that to Amber about people who do that and Amber said she's done that a few times.
Amber's not scared of a bit of attention now, let's be honest. And that's coming from two huge thirst buckets.
You and Joe?
Everyone loves me and Joe. And Demure Deirdre in the corner there.
Who, me? Don't look at me, I'm so shy.
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Chapter 5: Why were 30 influencers rescued from a yacht?
You've changed your photo four times. We can do whatever we want. Ask Robbie Williams if we can use angels. He looks like he's out to make a bit of cash.
That's a bit sad. That song, we need something more upbeat.
Something more upbeat. It'd be fucking hilarious if the podcast finished with angels every week. Okay, bye then. Bye for another week. Bye bye.
I'm loving it. Angels in the sand.